Zoro Learns Some Manners

…so I’m just borrowing them for the sake of Yaoi. Once I’m done then I promise to wipe them off and give them back ;) Any resemblance to real people is coincidental - but if you find a guy who resembles either Sanji or Zoro, please send me pictures!

Warning: contains a lot of very strong language and steamy Yaoi / boysecks (Zoro x Sanji)

--------------------


Zoro felt pretty good for a while. Luffy didn’t care. True, Sanji had gone a bit cold after the Captain saw them together, but he’d probably warm up again... given the way he'd reacted to Luffy being... Luffy.


Maybe. With luck.


The swordsman savoured the sweet memories while he sat in the crow’s nest each night and looked out over the restless ocean. Memories of Sanji’s face smiling across at him as they sat in silence and had breakfast before anyone else was awake. Of Sanji’s blue eyes shining when Zoro made him laugh. It didn’t happen that often, but the swordsman had been trying harder.


The way his lips embraced every lucky cigarette. The way he wiped Zoro’s face with a cloth when no-one was around and told him he was disgusting ...and then blushed.


Why did he blush if he didn’t want to be seen with him? It was too confusing. So he hid in the sweet memories and fantasies of the blonde dirty and crying out for more, as Zoro finally had his way. No confusion there. It was good.


Slowly as the nights drifted by the swordsman realised that it was more than just lust. He had enjoyed having just a little bit of control. Just a little bit of power. Even though he knew he could stop it in an instant. Even though he knew it was up to him what happened as well... Something about Sanji was making him feel vulnerable. He didn’t like it.


He liked the sex, he even liked a stolen kiss here and there (cook's lips were so damn soft). Normally he’d just wait and see how it panned out... but he felt so uncertain. What the hell had that stupid cook done to him?


And that was before Luffy had seen them together and stuck his foot in it.


Now that Sanji’s worst fear had come true...


Not thinking about it.


He let his body take over, and let it drive him. He ate, slept, drank, and trained. That was all. He tried to meditate but his thoughts wouldn’t settle, so he lost himself in the pain of forming muscles. He was closer to defeating her. He was closer to righting his past somehow by fighting his demons.


He knew he could fight smoker now. He might still crumble looking at that girl with Kunia’s face... but it would be easier knowing that he could hurt her without killing. He was starting to transfer that control better down the blade. He was always good with the backs of his blades, but this was different. He could hold all the force of a driving blow inside the metal and only transfer it to what the katana touched. He could carve his name in perfect brush strokes while keeping a leaf floating in the air. On a sailing ship, it was no mean feat.


Slowly all the skills that he had learned were coming together. Old memories of things that his Sensei had said years ago. New things that Luffy, Sanji, and his other nakama had said. All his training and his hard lifestyle had led him here to this. He was still getting better and he felt like he was only just beginning to be the swordsman he could be. The warrior he would be.


But something was still missing.


Damn it.


--------------------


The ship lurched through the vast unpredictable waters of the Grand Line. The dark clouds that covered the moon hung deep over the black sea, pressing down with all their might. Zoro was sitting, back against the railing taking a deep breath. He needed it. His stomach cramped again and he leaned out over the water.


He could hear laughter from the galley and the sound of a door closing, then footsteps. Anyone but him.


“Hey Zoro,” Luffy called out across the deck “you have to go in there; you’ll laugh!”


Zoro’s head spun and he closed his eyes. Just Luffy.


The Captain chuckled and sat down next to the swordsman, clapping him on the shoulder and sending waves of nausea radiating out through his whole body.


“Nami is shouting at Sanji for letting you drink so much. She said it was a whole months worth for all of us. Sugoi! No wonder you’re so sick!” Luffy laughed loud and clapped Zoro on the back again for good measure; sending the swordsman’s stomach into a frenzy.


Once Zoro had finally finished and taken another deep breath, he managed to get up the composure to talk.


“Luffy.”


Luffy sat stretching one of his fingers in and out like a rubber band.


“Yeah?” he said finally.


“Fuck off.”


“No.” The Captain grinned and shook his head emphatically. The motion made the swordsman’s eyes go fuzzy and he felt another wave of nausea starting to build.


Damn it. Zoro felt like absolute shit. He liked drinking and it suited him. But tonight the sake didn’t like him back. He had never been this sick before and he could still remember every little reason why he had wanted to get this drunk in the first place. He just wanted to sleep, but now he was too sick. What a stupid fucking idea this had been.


“I want to be alone”


“No you don’t, baka. You love Sanji”


“That’s not for you to de...”


Zoro’s stomach flipped over and went from breast stroke to back stroke.


“I know” Luffy grinned even wider. He stared off into the horizon as Zoro tried to get control of his throat enough to spit out a few words. The rocking of the ship, his churning stomach, and the nauseating smell of sake were all robbing him of the power to form a coherent thought, let alone speak. How the hell did he get so drunk?


Fuck. It didn’t matter. Only one thing mattered.


What would he do when he woke up sober tomorrow?


“You don’t get it. I don’t love Sanji.” Deep breath. The cramping was starting to subside slowly, but it was being replaced by something much worse. Zoro could almost feel the gears turning in his head as his brain tried to work through the alcohol to get to the problems underneath.


He didn’t want to think about this.


“You guys seem to have fun together” Luffy stared out at whatever it was that he saw on that distant horizon. His eyes shone.


Something inside Zoro cracked like a dam breaking. He felt a hard lump form in the middle of his chest and crush the air out of him.


Fun.


“Fun but no more. His game, his rules.”


Luffy turned his eyes down from that distant dream and levelled them on his First Mate. His brow furrowed a little bit and then relaxed as he held out his hand. Zoro braced for another nauseating thump and was surprised when Luffy put the hand gently on his shoulder, and just sat with him in silence.


Zoro’s drunken body reacted to the thought of the cook pleasantly. His mind was not so sure. He couldn’t tell if he could still think straight. He wanted Sanji. Sanji didn’t want anyone to see them together. So if he loved the cook, then that was his problem.


Big if.


Big problem...


Stop thinking. Too drunk to think about this now.


The swordsman focussed on the sounds of the water, and the wind creaking in the sails. He looked out at the horizon and saw nothing but dark wet thunder clouds. Finally he sighed.


“It just couldn’t work, ok. You get it?” The swordsman finally looked up and met Luffy’s dark innocent eyes.


“Yeah, I understand...”


Well, at least tha..


“…mystery love!!!”


Luffy grinned and jumped to his feet. Then he sauntered off - whistling into the wind like his life was made of sunshine and bunny rabbits.


---------------------------


Luffy walked back to the galley whistling and giggling at the funny shades of green that Zoro was tonight. He looked like a drunken snotty forest.


As he walked into the galley Nami, Usopp, and Sanji all looked up expectantly. Chopper grabbed the Captain by the knees and held on tight. They must want to know how Zoro is. Chopper said if he drank too much then he could get poisoned and die. Zoro couldn’t get poisoned by sake. That’s silly!


“He’s fine! He’s just all green and grumpy, pretty much like normal…” Luffy grinned, and tried to reassure Chopper and Sanji together. Chopper had been scared stupid. Nami had been pretty grumpy at how much Zoro drank. Robin had laughed and gone to bed to read. Sanji had gone all quiet.


No wonder Zoro was so worried about him.


“Did you see if his pupils were dilated? Did his breathing sound normal? Was he responding to verbal prompts appropriately? Did you ask him h…” Chopper was scuttling across the floor hyperventilating and speaking at about a million miles an hour. Luffy stared at him trying to figure out if his whole body would eventually turn as blue as his nose. Could fur turn blue? He wondered if you were meant to pour water on someone who fainted or if you were meant to hit them. Might as well try both.


Usopp picked up the fuzzy Doctor and put him on his knee. Usopp had been keeping Chopper from running out and poking the swordsman with medical instruments for the last hour. Luffy was pretty sure the marksman had been doing Chopper a big favour. Zoro was pretty grumpy, and sometimes when he’d had too much to drink he liked to spar. But his aim could be a little off...


It was so funny!


“Chopper!” Usopp said, leaning down so he could look the furry tyke in the eyes.


“Zoro is a great warrior, we just need to give him water and time to sleep, and he’ll be fine. Calm down a little.”


“Water, that’s a good idea, now I just have to see how much he’s…” In a second Chopper had wriggled out of Usopp’s lap and was mumbling to himself as he paced up and down the room. Usopp just looked at Luffy and shrugged.


Luffy scratched his hat and tilted his head. Zoro was sad because Sanji didn’t love him. Maybe if they just had some time to talk then they’d be able to work it out. They might not talk, but even if they had a chance... Luffy hated to see his nakama upset. He knew they were both strong and proud, but they both needed someone to care for them too. It was so obvious the way they always tried to rescue each other and outdo each other. They wanted to be the one to protect everyone so badly because they felt they couldn’t rely on anyone else. They were both getting better now they had nakama, but they each had an empty spot that bravado only made heavier.


...Or maybe they just had a fight cause he tried to kiss Zoro.


Zoro was hot! Of course he was going to ask. He thought Zoro didn’t like anyone that way. Who knew!? When they had first started travelling together, the Captain had hoped... But it just never seemed right. He felt lonely after leaving home. He just wanted to fill the void in his heart with love for another. He knew that it would happen eventually, but the waiting could be hard. He loved his nakama so much, and they made his life worth living. They were part of his dream. If he could help them find something to fill their hearts...


Sanji was a bit funny sometimes about the swordsman... If it wasn’t love, then it was something that looked a lot like it from a distance. They are both great guys, but they didn’t seem to know what they wanted.


Time to act like a Captain. Yosh!


“Hey Sanji. Maybe if y..”


“He’ll be fine!!!!” Sanji shouted.


Chopper stopped padding across the room and stared up at the cook. Usopp narrowed his eyes at the blonde and Luffy grinned. Sanji drew a little breath, shocked at the volume of his own voice.


“We shouldn’t encourage the stupid marimo to be a drunk....” he mumbled into his fringe.


“You’re the one who gave him the damn sake” Nami muttered into her spiced hot chocolate. Sanji was pretty sure it was the only thing keeping her from storming out. He hated the thought that he had upset her. He pushed his churning emotions to the back of his mind. Then he shot a death stare which would shake the grim reaper at Luffy and went back to the stove to make another lot of chocolate.


Luffy blithely ignored the look of death and went on to plan two. These guys might be stubborn but he was much more stubborn than them! Maybe not Zoro... But Sanji for sure!


“Hey Sanji. Zoro threw up all over the deck! It’s really gross!” Luffy pinched his nose and made graphic lurching and hurling motions. Nami stared at him and rolled her eyes.


“That’s it. I’m going to bed. Let me know tomorrow if he rolled off the deck and into the ocean; I’ll plot a course to go find him.” She pushed the bench out from under the table and left with a mumbled “’night everyone...”


Sanji stared at the door for at least a minute after she left. Then he turned around and kicked Luffy in the back of the head. His forehead made a cracking noise on the wooden table and left a neat indent.


Luffy bounced back with that irrepressible smile and turned to face the smoking, smouldering, raging cook. He really had the worst temper on the ship. Except maybe Nami. They were both pretty fun when they got excited! Zoro sulked like a man going for a Guild Award, but Sanji could get pretty hot under the collar. The Captain wondered how many more indents the table would have by the end of the night.


Maybe if he kept moving seats then the lumps and dents would be even.


“She’s not angry at you anyway, she’s angry at Zoro!” Luffy grinned up and pointed out towards the deck as if he might have somehow managed to forget about the big oaf. Sanji had a chef’s nose and it was highly tuned. Right now, with the puke and the sake he couldn’t have forgotten Zoro if he was on the bottom of the ocean. He stank!


Sanji stared back at Luffy with big blue eyes full of frustration.


Usopp looked back from one to the other and tried to figure out if he’d missed something. “Yeah,” he finally said “she’ll get over it tomorrow. She’ll just make him rearrange the cargo with a hangover, and then it’ll all be fine again. Just do what I do and make sure you don’t see her until she’s had a good shout.”


Usopp laughed quietly. It would be better if Nami didn’t hear him. She could be a little scary. Sanji gave him a stare almost as deadly as the one he’d just levelled at Luffy.


He was probably just angry because his sweet Mellorine was angry. She didn’t really blame Sanji for letting the swordsman get into the sake. They all knew that he did everything humanly possible to keep the cupboards locked but with Luffy and Zoro to contend with, he WAS only human after all!


Usopp considered telling Sanji all this and then he remembered the look of simmering rage that he’d just copped. So he gave up and went back to stuffing gunpowder into his new slingshot pellets. No point trying to be friendly if Sanji was just going to light up like a lightning storm every time he opened his mouth!


Sometimes it was safer just to let people figure things out for themselves.


“Hey Sanji!" said Luffy, "Maybe when Zoro passes out we can shave his head!” The Captain practically fell off his seat laughing. Sanji’s body went a little rigid, but he kept just spooning the cinnamon and nutmeg into the chocolate.


Luffy continued, “Maybe we could give him a Mohawk! Then we could use his head to play bowls!” Usopp looked up from tying off his last pellet and decided to call it a night, this was starting to sound dangerous. He’d been in a few of Luffy’s ship board ‘pranks’ before and when it involved Zoro, Sanji, or Nami, it was always way too dangerous.


“I’m going to do my rounds and make sure that everything is ok. Someone has to keep an eye on things around here.” Usopp swelled his chest up and marched out the door. Just as his nose cleared the door frame he remembered something he had promised Robin he’d say next time Luffy started talking late night pranks.


“And don’t do anything stupid, Luffy.” He said in his best teacher’s voice. Then he scuttled out of there as quickly as he could, knowing the likely effect those words would have on the man who would be Pirate King.


Luffy laughed and rubbed his hands together. “Hey.....” Sanji stared at the top of the Captain’s head, ready to strike. “...Chopper! You should have some more chocolate! You’re going wear a hole in the floor.” Luffy felt Sanji step back behind him. The table would be happy!


“Ummm.” Chopper stopped pacing and looked around the room as if he had just woken up and he wasn’t sure where he was.


“Uh... yeah. More chocolate...” he mumbled. Sanji poured him a cup and handed it down. Chopper took it absent mindedly and drank it down in one gulp. He stared at the empty cup and then his eyes went wide as saucers.


“Oh no! Sanji! Why did you give me that! I can never stay awake after I have too much of that stuff! What do you put in it anyway? It’s like a highl..” Chopper stifled a yawn and his eyelids started to droop.


“Do you want any Sanji?” Luffy asked. Sanji shook his head listlessly and stared out the window. It was lucky he didn’t. Luffy had already stretched across the kitchen and rescued the pot from the stove. By the time he had finished draining the entire contents, Chopper was asleep on the bench. Luffy grinned down at him as he dumped the empty pot in the sink. He was so cute!


Sanji looked down at the sleeping figure and smiled. All the rage seemed to drain out of him. He sighed deeply and looked down at his hands.


“What, Luffy?” he finally said.


“So you want to go shave his head?”


Sanji shook himself from his troubling thoughts and looked up.


“I couldn’t get near him. He reeks.” He smiled just a little as he lit another cigarette, and looked out the porthole towards the ocean, and the man he was sleeping with.


“We can hose him first” Luffy suggested.


Sanji laughed softly and replied,


“Maybe we should just tie him to a running line and drag him behind the ship till he sobers up. I hear it’s traditional.”


“Oh yeah. The song! Maybe we should do a different verse every night!” Luffy laughed and starting singing - badly.


“Shave his belly with a rusty razor! What a bunch of idiots!”


Sanji’s eyebrow twitched as he looked out the porthole. He was not going to even try to figure out what the hell was happening with Zoro. There was always something. For a man who claimed to have no emotions, he spent a hell of a lot of time brooding. The cook had asked him once what he was thinking.


‘Nothing.’ He’d said.


So he’d tried. But that was Zoro. He was a big muscle headed idiot with an emotional disorder.


Sanji figured it was just a matter of time before the swordsman would realise that what he wanted was not what the cook wanted and then he’d come over for the ‘It was all a terrible mistake’ speech.


Sanji had heard it a million times. It was fine. It was fun while it lasted. Just a couple of ship mates relieving some tension. He couldn’t really have expected it to end any different.


“Hey Luffy” he said to the Captain. Luffy’s eyes were lit up - Sanji figured - by thoughts of the mischief he was hoping to make.


“Yeah?”


Sanji looked into those dark shining eyes. It was like the guy’s life was all springtime and strawberries.


“Nothing” he said.


Luffy wouldn’t understand.


“Ok” said the Captain. He smiled.


------------------------


The next day, the sun shone brightly and reflected off the waves like a thousand diamonds. Sanji looked out into the clear morning sky and enjoyed his cigarette. Somehow he felt better now it was morning and they were getting close to the next island. A new place to go, new things to see - especially girls. He was also just a little amused by the sight of poor Zoro carrying sacks of flour and barrels of water across the deck one way, and then the other. Usopp had been right on the money.


The swordsman was squinting into the glare, and his face was a curious shade of green. He had gotten up when it was still dark to sluice the deck. He must have been embarrassed. Sanji had filed that titbit away for relentless teasing later. Nami had woken up and found the swordsman cleaning and started giving him a nice long list of things he could do to redeem himself. She always seemed to know what would make Zoro feel better. Once he’d done his penance he always looked much happier. Sanji puffed and contemplated the two of them. They kind-of had similar personalities. They were both independent, strong willed, and cute as hell when they were angry.


Nami was so much more... everything. Everything he was used to looking for.


“Nami-schwan! I have prepared a delicious breakfast for you!” he cooed over the banister.


“Thank you Sanji-kun!” She called out, before returning to issue a barrage of commands at Zoro who sagged visibly. Sanji felt a little twinge of pity, even though the idiot had done it to himself.


“You too marimo. Assholes! Breakfast is ready!” He shouted out over the chaos. Luffy had only been awake for half an hour and he’d already made a castle out of the next month’s supplies and all of Usopp’s wood for repairing the ship.


By the time Sanji had returned from delivering the news about breakfast personally to Robin, the crew had crowded into the galley. He handed out the fruit salad to everyone except Luffy, who had helped himself. He thought that fruit might be good for a delicate stomach. He was quite proud of them actually – the ladies’ the most – the towers of colour were perfectly coordinated. It had taken him a while.


Zoro stared at it like it was a brightly coloured animal he’d never seen before that might jump off the table and eat his face. Everyone else tucked in, but the swordsman just poked his and looked at it. Sanji tried to ignore him. He must still be really sick, Sanji told himself. He wasn't just trying to be an ass.


Finally it just got too much for him.


“Don’t play with your damn food!” The blonde snapped.


“I don’t know how to eat this fancy shit!” Zoro growled back.


“Just put it in your mouth and chew you idiot, it’s not that hard.” Sanji grumbled. Cave man.


Luffy laughed and demonstrated to Zoro by swallowing the rest of his salad in one gulp.


…“NOT LIKE THAT!!!” Sanji shouted, hitting Luffy in the back of the head and sending his head flying.


Luffy – 0, Sanji – 2, Table – not that happy.


After they had finished breakfast, Sanji stayed to clean up. While he was prepping the leftover fruit to make sauce Luffy came back in to the galley. He shuffled sheepishly around the door until Sanji turned and asked,


“What?”


“I just thought that maybe this time when we go ashore we can have a quiet time and get that holiday we missed. I know you were looking forward to it.” He grinned and scuttled out the door before Sanji could reply.


The blonde blinked twice and rubbed his eyes. When Luffy started making plans, then they were really in trouble.


-----------------------