When hearts Collide

I do not own D. Grayman or any of it’s associated characters, nor do I own any songs used within this fic. I do not make any money off of these works of fiction, they are for entertainment only.

A/N: This chapter is a bit longer, again, I do not know all of Kanda's background so I don't want to hear griping. The lemons in this chapter are dedicated to Golden Kitsune, who keeps me enraptured with her fanfic, and to Natasha for being the bestest in all the world. And to the rest of us *raises glass* may we all have mindblowing sex in the very near future! hahah

My Skin

Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here that I don't understand
Your face say these promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them
Because I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
Well, content loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart
They say that promises sweeten the blow
But I don't need them, no
I don't need them
I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
I'm the slow dying flower
In the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour and untouchable
Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss good night
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this
I'm the slow dying flower
In the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour and untouchable
Do you remember the way that you touched me before
All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored
Your face saving promises whispered like prayers
I don't need them
Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss good night
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this
Well is it dark enough
Can you see me
Do you want me
Can you reach me
Oh, I'm leaving
You better shut your mouth
And hold your breath
And kiss me now
And catch your death
Oh, I mean this
Oh, I mean this

My Skin - Natalie Merchant


Allen watched aas Komui tried to revive Aleia, his stomach in tight knots. Minutes passed, the tick of the clock in the hall echoing like a somber reminder of one’s limited time.

After what seemed like an eternity, Komui straightened and his body visibly shook.

“No good” he rasped, gently reaching over to remove the translucent mask that pumped oxygen to lungs that no longer needed it. Her delicate features blurred as his eyes filled.

Slowly he sank to his knees, too tired, too shattered to stand. He felt sick to his stomach, taking large gulping breaths to keep from vomiting.

Allen watched his struggles cease, “What? Wait….Aleia..”

Gray eyes narrowed on the older man as he shook his head and dry heaved.

“You can’t just stop!” Allen shouted, suddenly furious, “You can’t just give up!”

Lavi squeezed his eye shut and said in a pained whisper, “Allen..”

Allen moved to the bedside. Aleia was so pale her eyelids looked bruised. “So that’s it..” he said, his voice very soft, an angry shiver, “After everything… you just give up?”

Lenalee stood in the doorway, her violet eyes wide and tearful, fist pressed to her mouth.

“What about us?” Allen demanded of the unresponsive woman, “What about Kanda? He loves you! No matter what he says!”

The room was silent.

“Move damn you!” Allen shouted, “Say something! Anything!” His fist slammed down on her chest. He hit her again.

“Allen!” Lavi cried out moving forward to grab the smaller man and pull him away at the startled gasps.

“Let me go!” Allen cried, twisting away.

“Stop it Allen” Lavi snapped, “Just stop it! She’s…gone.”

Allen shoved him back and away when a small beep sounded in the room. Then a second, which caused them to freeze. Then a third and they slowly turned to the bed.

Everyone stilled as the monitors flickered. A small, jagged line started on the left and slowly moved across the screen, small beeps sounding. Slowly the other machines and monitors came to life, confirming what they were too shocked to say aloud.

Aleia.

Aleia was alive.

Komui scrambled to the bedside, slapping the mask in place. His hands a blur of motion as he made notes, checked tubes and eyed vitals. He also eyed the fact that there was a large red spot growing visible at the neckline of her cotton gown.

“Be a hell of a bruise” he muttered, but his tone was relieved.

Behind him, it was Allen’s turn to sink to the floor, his hands shaking as he braced them on the floor. His arms shook as though his weight was too much to bear.

Lavi crossed the floor to kneel beside him, a hand on his shoulder, “Allen…”

Deep gray eyes lifted to lock with one bright green orb. His lips parted but no sound came out.

“Allen?” Lenalee whispered drawing his eyes to hers, “She’s ok. She’s alive.” Her voice broke at the end as relief flooded her, flaying at her already tattered nerves. Her shoulders slumped as she sobbed.

Allen felt Lavi help him up and they crossed the room together. Allen pulled Lenalee into his arms and Lavi hugged them both as they shook and sobbed. “Komui?” Lavi called lifting his head, “Let us know if there is any change.”

“Eh?” Komui asked confused as the three staggered for the door.

“Someone has to find Yu.” Lavi said.

He nodded, noting his sisters standing pale on shaky legs.

“Why don’t you go rest?” Komui asked. She nodded over her shoulder.

Komui watched them go before turning to Becca, “She has such nice friends.”

Becca promptly burst out laughing.

“What?” the Chinese man asked her.

She shook her head, “Nothing” she said, dabbing at her eyes and stretching up to press a kiss to his mouth.

“What’s funny?”

“I’ll tell you…one day….” she chuckled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As they left the medical wing Roland detached himself from the wall to face them. “You three look terrible” he said plainly, “Go rest. I’ll find Kanda.”

Lavi nodded, grateful. “Come on you two” he said to his lovers, “Lets get you to bed.”

“Lavi?” Allen asked at the strange note in the red head’s voice.

“I just want to show you how damn glad I am that you are both alive.” Lavi whispered.

When they reached Lavi’s room, the door had barely been shut when Lavi all but through Allen against the locked door, fusing his mouth to the white haired man’s.

Allen gasped in surprise at the rough, intoxicating action of Lavi dominating him like this. The slick dexterous muscle of Lavi’s tongue twining around his, coaxing it into his mouth to suck on it.

Allen moaned, clutching Lavi tightly with one hand, his other somehow finding Lenalee and drawing her closer. Lavi tore his mouth from Allen’s to attack hers in a kiss so fierce it left her panting.

“Allen…” he said softly, tracing fingers over the smaller man’s cheek, “I want to love you both….”

Lenalee felt the surge of hot wetness at his words, understanding coming swiftly.

She slowly stripped her clothing off and crawled onto Lavi’s large bed. Eyes glued to the two men. Lavi and Allen shrugged from their clothing, moving to the bed to lay beside her.

She moaned as they missed her neck, her breasts, hands mapping her with loving fervor. When Allen slid slowly lower, nipping at her inner thighs she groaned his name in wanting.

His fingers parted her, tongue slipping to taste to caress. His hands sliding over her, lifting her to his mouth. On his knees now, he felt Lavi stroke his back, felt the older man caress his hard length with callused hands. He groaned against wet flesh and Lenalee came an instant later, biting her arm to muffle the sound of her shout.

Allen licked his lips, winking at her with a sly smile.

“Lay down Allen” she told him, “Here by me”

He did as she asked and she pressed her mouth to his, lapping her flavor from his mouth with her greedy little tongue. Allen’s eyes were closed as she leaned over him, devouring him with her kiss.

She say from the corner of her eye that Lavi had moved to lay between Allen’s thighs. She watched, as Lavi lapped at the thick length jutting from silver hair. Allen jolted when that wet tongue slithered over his sac and further on to swirl around the tight pink pucker beyond.

Lavi did it again and Allen groaned, his knees lifting, falling open.

Lavi swirled his tongue around Allen’s head and then sank onto the other fully. Allen cried out sharply at the hot wet confinement that was so tight on him. One hand slid to hold Lenalee close to his mouth as he shared his panting breath and cries with her. The other held that crimson haired lover captive.

The wonderful mouth massaging his length with tight sucking friction. Unlike Lenalee who was unerringly gentle with him like this, Lavi bordered on rough, but not painful. He sucked Allen hard, hollowing his cheeks as he lifted his mouth free and blew across the weeping tip.

“Ugnnn La…Lavi!” Allen cried as Lavi lightly lapped and nibbled his way up one side and down the next and then bobbed lightly before sucking him deeper, letting his head press against the impossibly smooth and hot flesh of his tonsils.

Allen shook, “Ahhh. Lavi… are you …you going tooo… fuck me?” His words were panted and broken.

Lavi pulled up, his finger playing in the wetness he had caused and then slid to caress against the puckered hole.

“Not today.” he promised, “Today is just a starter. Today I am showing Lenalee how I am going to prep her when I am done with you.”

Lenalee flushed hot at his words. They had so far only taken turns with her, today they would truly share her. It frightened her, but she wanted it. Curious and hungry for it.

Allen moaned and writhed as the tip of that finger pressed just inside. Twisting, massaging. Making the younger shake and pant. Lavi’s head dropped, swallowing the length once more.

Allen was close, he could feel it. He slowly breached that tight ring of muscle, knuckles sliding deeper, then slowly retreating to return with a second finger. Allen moaned loudly, the dual sensation of a hot mouth on him and a finger filling him becoming overwhelming.

Lavi pressed and prodded, pumped a few times before touching a spot that made his back arch and Allen wailed.

“Allen?” Lenalee asked, concern in her voice.

He buried his face against her, “Ahhnn, Lavi” he whimpered, “So good…”

Lavi sucked hard and abused that spot with pressing fingers until Allen suddenly arched sharply, his flesh growing harder, his sac drawing up, his walls clenching and he came hard, nearly choking Lavi.

The redhead swiftly recovered swallowing almost convulsively so he could breathe. He milked Allen until the other whimpered and soft flesh slipped from between his lips.

He slowly withdrew his fingers and smiled at the exhausted Allen.

Lenalee had never been hotter in her life. While taboo and forbidden by many, what she had just witnessed was the most erotic thing she’d ever seen. “I think you killed him” she murmured to Lavi as Allen panted against her side.

Lavi smiled, crawling forward to kiss her lips, “Mm. Not yet. He’ll be more than ready by the time we’re ready.” he promised her. His tongue tangled with hers, letting her taste Allen.

She moaned, clinging to him as he pushed her down into the soft comforter. Allen lay panting, watching, pleasure still humming nicely through him. He had never thought his relations with Lavi would go beyond Lenalee, of course there was a mutual attraction, but he really never thought he’d get a blowjob and fingering from the red head.

Not that he minded. As long as Lenalee wasn’t upset by it he saw no issues at all. They weren’t a conventional couple anyway, they often paired in twos, but three was the full heart of them.

Lavi was kissing down her throat, now, biting that area where her neck and shoulder met that made her instantly wet. It was one of Allen’s favorite pastimes. Nibbling that spot to make her squirm and moan until she climbed atop him and rode him.

Lavi took one pink nipple into his mouth sucking hard and lifting his head to stretch the flesh slightly. Lenalee curled her fingers into his shock of crimson spikes. His clever fingers already delving into her wetness, slowly pumping, teasing, tormenting. Giving Lena pleasure and Allen time to recover.

It was a truly erotic tableau. And Allen felt himself react physically mere minutes later.

Lavi had brought Lenalee to gasping orgasm when Allen rejoined the efforts. Lavi draped the pliant woman across his lap, feasting on her mouth and breasts in turn. His fingers buried deep inside of her once more, when Allen pulled her trembling thighs over his shoulders and lapped at her weeping sex.

She jolted, a combination of their names falling from her lips in panting stutters. Her back arched to lavi’s mouth, his hand curled around her shoulder to brace her from behind. His other resting on her throat, stroking the frantic pulse there. Her hips jerked towards Allen’s face, the white haired man throwing one arm over her hips to hold her steady.

When she came again, she was barely aware of Lavi slipping away to leave her laying spread for Allen. He watched her dark head thrash on his blankets as Allen pushed to a second searing orgasm.

He had to hand it to him, Allen was very talented with that tongue. Something Lavi looked forward to getting to know personally. He pulled open a cabinet and rummaged until he saw the dark blue apothecary bottle.

This was a special formula. One that he had researched carefully and blended himself.

Slick, non-absorbent. Perfect.

He grasped the bottle in his large hand returned to the bed to see that Allen was languidly kissing their petite lover. Breaking for breath, he caught Lavi’s eye as the older man put the bottle within reach.

“Get on your hands and knees for me Ange” Lavi told her in a husky voice, using a French endearment he knew she liked. She did as he asked, loving when he took control and ordered her. A dirty secret the three of them enjoyed.

Allen sat with his back propped against the headboard, his length bobbing before her face. He grasped the length and pumped it once or twice. Her violet eyes following the action greedily. “Suck me” Allen demanded in that hot tone that made her shiver, “But don’t make me come. Just tease me for now.”

Lenalee lapped at the base of him, slowly swirling up to circle the underside of his purple tinted head. The salty drop of him wicked away by her tongue. When she stabbed her tongue against the slit he hissed in pleasure, tangling his hands in her hair.

Behind her Lavi was already teasing her wet folds, fingers sliding in and out of her. She bucked against his hand, ground herself onto him, wanting more. Lavi groaned at the sight of her head now bobbing in Allen’s lap.

Slowly, he pushed her head further down on Allen, watching the other’s eyes roll back at the sensation that she been working to achieve with Lavi. Her efforts were paying off as Allen moaned and whimpered.

Lavi slowly pulled her off of him, lest Allen loose all control. “Not yet” he soothed.

Lenalee turned her head to the side and rested her cheek on Allen’s thigh. His hand stroking her hair.

“I need to know Lenalee” Lavi said, “Before we go any further if anything that I did to Allen made you uneasy.”

She shook her head, “No. I was a little worried when he cried out like that but now that I know that he felt good I’m ok.”

“Tonight. We plan to share you. To have you at the same time.” Lavi said, his eye watching her carefully.

“Will it hurt?” she asked.

Allen sighed, “A little.”

“I will do everything I can to change that” Lavi told her.

“I trust you both” she decided, “How do you want me?”

Allen looked at Lavi to direct. “On your side, facing Allen. The first time, I’ll be the one to do it since I know how.”

She nodded, she and Allen moving into place. Allen smiled sweetly and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “We can stop anytime. Just say” he told her.

She nodded, knowing that unless it was terribly painful, she wouldn’t.

Lavi lay down behind her, kissing her shoulders, the nape of her neck. She felt his hand slide between her thighs again, teasing her folds, Allen pulled her leg onto his hip to help, capturing her mouth in one of his drugging kisses.

Lavi slowly eased his wet finger back to caress the puckered star of her rear entrance. She tensed slightly and he breathed against her ear, “Relax for me love.”

Allen slid his hand down her stomach to brush lightly against her folds. She moaned against his shoulder.

Lavi teased un intrusive circles over her pucker, getting her used to the feeling. She moaned and pressed back against him, but he merely drew his finger away. Sliding lower on the bed, he pressed kisses to her spine, tongue laving each little bump as he went. He nipped her cheeks.

She felt his large palms cup her bottom and hold the cheeks apart, revealing her to his eyes. She flushed hot at the thought of him staring at her most forbidden area.

She jumped when she felt his wet tongue dance over the cheeks and then delve deeper. “Lavi… I don’t” she began. But his tongue slid over her and she felt her breath catch in her throat. Another wet circle and she moaned softly.

“Like that?” Allen asked her, “Lavi does have an amazing mouth.”

Lavi teased the freckle, his hands slowly moving in closer, pulling her a bit wide. He stabbed at her with his tongue listening to her incoherent whimpers. He pushed his tongue into that tight ring, felt her push back to him.

He thrust his tongue in and out of her virgin passage, curling, swirling teasing. Until she shook from the odd sensation of his tongue fucking and Allen’s fingers on her pearl.

Lavi slowly pulled away, reaching for the bottle as he kissed her shoulder again. Opening the cap, he poured some into his hand and coated three fingers with the slippery fluid.

He eased one finger into her, groaning over her tightness. He pumped a few times then added a second, repeating his actions until she had taken a third finger.

The third caused her to whimper and tense as she was stretched. Lavi merely held still, allowing her to adjust before going on. Thrusting three fingers into her bottom would ease his penetration of her.

Allen rubbed against her nub in time with Lavi’s arm movements. Keeping her teetering on the edge of orgasm.

When Lavi decided she had been properly stretched, he poured more lube into his palm and slicked his heavy erection. Glancing at Allen he gave a small nod and Allen pressed his lips to Lenalee’s.

She felt Lavi part her cheeks again and Allen pull her thigh higher onto his waist. Then a slick heat brushed against her and she was aware of Lavi lining up. She took a deep breath even as he murmured to her to relax and let him take care of her.

Slowly he pressed against her, then he grasped her hips and pulled her back onto himself slowly. She felt a slight twinge and then felt the impossibly slow slide of him past that first ring.


She felt the full feeling shift to an uncomfortable pinch and she shuddered. “Ahh, ow.”

“Easy Lena” he said in a ragged voice, “"Almost there mon ange. Good girl, that's it, relax and let me in". She nodded against Allen’s chest and felt Lavi slip deeper. It hurt, but not unbearably so. Suddenly her eyes shot open, it no longer hurt but her body no longer resisted the penetration, in fact it pulled him into her.

She head his strangled groan as his pelvis met her backside.

She trembled, he shuddered. Both held very still.

“Lenalee?” Allen asked. She gave a short nod to let him know that she was ok. She felt full, stuffed to capacity with Lavi’s large length shoved inside her. After a moment it didn’t hurt.

“Lenalee” Lavi said.

“I’m ok” she assured him.

He slowly withdrew a fraction and slowly returned, he did this several times and suddenly Lenalee was struck by the oddly pleasurable sensation his movement caused.

“Oh!”

Lavi grinned against her nape, “I knew you would like it. Now it’s Allen’s turn.”

Lavi held her hips and sank fully into her. Then Allen lined up with her womanhood and slowly worked his way inside. Lenalee bit her lip at the feeling of being so full. Both men, who were by no means small, suddenly felt infinitely bigger.

Lavi moaned as Allen’s length caressed him through the thin wall of Lena’s body, Allen’s eyes closing at the feeling.

They began a rhythm. One in one out, her body assaulted by a constant barrage of pleasure. Allen’s arm cradling her thigh in the crook of his elbow, allowing them both move deeper.

Lavi moved his hand around her to the front to find and press against her pearl.

The Chinese woman was caught unawares as a vicious orgasm seized her without warning. She moaned loudly, unable to stop herself. Her face buried against Allen’s neck as they slammed into her, rocketing her over the edge.

Her body clamped on them tightly and Allen’s control snapped, he came with a soft groan of his own. Lavi felt him pulsing against the membrane separating them and slammed hard into her ass twice more, before coming with a guttural sound.

They remained tightly locked together. Panting, trembling, sweating, muscles sore, bodies sated. It took long minutes to recover. Pleasurable aftershocks shot through Lenalee, causing her body to grip tightly on and off.

The sensation soon became too much for the over sensitive Allen and he slowly let his soft flesh slip from her, the combination of their fluids following him. Lavi basked for a moment longer, and then he too, slowly slipped free. His seed trickling from her red hole.

He brushed her hair from her brow and leaned over and kissed her. “Thank you Lena.”

She smiled tiredly, exhausted from their bed play, “I liked that.” she murmured, eyes already closing.

Lavi was grateful he had the foresight to heat a basin of water and stack fresh cloths nearby. “Can’t sleep just yet” he told her, knowing how she hated to wake up feeling sticky.

He rose from the bed padding across the floor to dip several cloths into the warm water. One he used to wipe himself clean. Another he tossed to Allen who did the same. Then he took two fresh ones and handed one to Allen.

Lenalee began to protest that she could do it, when they cleaned her of the mingled fluids and lube, but she was tired and they were swift and efficient. In no time at all, she was blissfully clean again and Allen and lifted her so that Lavi could turn the bedding down.

She sighed with contentment as Allen settled her against the warm sheets and turned to her side. Lai was already sprawled on his back as was his preference. She rested her head on Lavi’s shoulder. She pressed her face to Lavi’s chest and felt Allen wrap his arms around her from behind.

His white hair resting on Lavi’s well toned bicep.

Safe under the weight of the covers, pressed between her two men, Lenalee slipped away to dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kanda stepped into the dark alleyway, a shadow, a movement had drawn his attention. Mugen drawn he crept forward, dark eyes narrowed.

“Yu…” a whisper on the wind.

He turned but no one was there.

“Yu…”

“Show yourself” he demanded.

“Yu…why did you kill me?”

He spun, breath catching in his throat. Aleia stood before him, hands clasped over the bleeding wound in her chest. Tears glittering on the dark lashes framing her eyes.

“Aka..” he breathed.

She cocked her head in that way that he found so endearing and his heart lurched painfully.

“Mugen…” she said slowly, softly, “was meant to protect.”

His jaw clenched as she spoke that sacred truth. His hand loosened on the weapon as she stepped closer to him.

“Aleia?” he asked quietly. Logical told him this couldn’t be real. What if she had died? What if he had killed her? Had she come to tell him so and leave him haunted forever?

“Shhh” she crooned to him, fingers touching her mouth “I forgive you.”

She felt warm as she leaned into him, her fingers brushed against his mouth now, tracing his lower lip. She stretched to her tip toes, placing her mouth to his.

Soft, sweet.

Very sweet. Cloying. Familiar.

Then the grainy texture of melting sugar flooded his mouth with the long absent tang of opiates.

Kanda jerked back, spitting the noxious mixture onto the ground. “You” he growled.

Aleia shimmered and then took a haunting form. Inky hair falling in sleek waves to an impossibly small waist, spilling over jutting breasts. Her slanted mahogany eyes nearly wine red under her lashes.

His eyes lifted to her heart shaped face. Angelically beautiful.

And on her brow. That symbol. Om.

The very one she had carved into his body with her bare hands.

“That control won’t work on me” he said in a voice of deadly calm.

She smiled, her height nearly equal to his own, “Yu” she chided gently, “You used to crave my kisses.”

“I craved the opiates you laced them with. Once I saw how you really are.” he spat at her.

She arched a brow at him, hands moving to her hips. “It wasn’t all you craved” she said knowingly, one hand slid to cup her breast and she sighed with pleasure, “Don’t you remember? I can refresh you.”

He looked away from her.

“Don’t you remember how good it felt to touch me? To be inside of me?”

His jaw ticked, “What do you want?” he asked coldly.

She dropped her hands, coy act forgotten. “What I have always wanted” she said waspishly, “You.”

“Try again.” His scowl could set fire to frozen wood.

She sighed, “You were never this assertive with me before, unless of course you were making me scream.”

“Tch”.

“Do you remember Yu? How fumbling gently nervous you were those first times? Didn’t I teach you well? As a submissive you were so pleasing? As a dominant you are breathtaking..”

His eyes were cold. This little trip down memory lane was not welcome to him.

She smiled “Tell me Yu. This little human woman… are you gentle with her? Do you take her softly, sweetly? Or do you ride her hard and rough the way YOU like it?”

“Shut up. Don’t talk about her.”

Her eyes widened in mock surprise, “Touch a nerve?”

He leveled Mugen at her face. “Finished?” he asked.

Kyria laughed, tossing a small crystal sphere into the air. It winked in the faint light.

Kanda’s eyes snapped to the ball, dark eyes going wide as it suddenly expanded, encompassing him as the world went dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aleia woke slowly, her head filled with soft fluffy cotton. Much like her mouth. She tried to open her eyes only to find that someone had glued them shut.

She groaned.

Allen looked up from his book and watched her struggle a little.

“Aleia. Just relax. What do you need?” he asked gently.

She opened her mouth, smacked her lips and sticky tongue, “Waa.”

Allen understood, slowly pouring her a glass of the cool fluid, then gently helped her up a bit to drink.

The water flooded her dry mouth, easing the itch on her throat. She felt the coldness hit her stomach and shivered. Allen pulled the glass away and set it aside.

She made her eyes open and found him sitting beside her looking relieved and elated. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Like hammered crap” she replied blithely in a hoarse voice.

He blinked and the smiled, “I imagine so. But you are alive. And we are so glad.”

Her eyes suddenly flooded with tears, “Miranda…. Bak….Fou..”. Her heart was breaking and he could hear it.

“Bak and Fou are alive. Recovering like you are.” he assured her. She blinked, grasping his hand in the bedding.

“Bak?” she asked again.

“Needs some good rest and time off”.

“My fault” she croaked.

Allen shook his head, “No. It wasn’t. The Noah are very dangerous opponents. I’m impressed that you broke her hold at the end. But I think we all would have felt better if you hadn’t stabbed yourself on Mugen. Mostly Kanda.”

She blinked at his name, her eyes moving around slightly.

“Not here” Allen said gently, “He went after them. He‘ll be back soon.”

She stared at her lap, twisting the blanket into a tight knot. “I can’t see him” she whispered painfully.

Allen blinked, had she reached her limit then? “He didn’t leave just to go” he assured her.

“Not that.” Her voice was a tremulous whisper.

Allen leaned closer, “Then what? He doesn’t blame you..”

She shook her head sharply, wincing as her chest pulled. “I just…. No… I can’t..face him… after… I.. Allen?”

“Yes?”

“Will Komui let me go home for a while?”

Allen blinked, “Maybe not anytime soon, but once you are healed I’m sure he will. What is this about?”

She lay back and closed her eyes, “I’m very tired Allen. I’m sorry.”

He took the hint and rose, tucking her covers around her and left the ward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The nightmare, as she called it, came several times. Of Kanda’s hissing venomous words at her. Blaming her. She woke, cold and shaking. Her weak body suffering for her weak mind.

“You dream a lot” Lenalee said softly. Aleia turned, startled to see her sitting beside the bed. “We’ve been watching over you, taking turns.”

Aleia sighed softly, “Thanks”.

“Want to talk about it?”

Aleia shook her head, “Not really.”

Lenalee was very quiet for a moment and then she spoke softly, “You..sometimes talk … in your sleep.”

Aleia went stiff.

Lenalee stared at her lap, “Bad things…. They aren’t your fault. I don’t know…what they did to you, not all of it. I do know it wasn’t your fault.”

Aleia took a shaky breath, “Lena…”

“You didn’t want it, you didn’t ask for anything. They hurt you, I heard you, you asked them to stop. I can‘t even imagine that pain.”

Aleia felt the tears flood her lash line, shame scalded her inside and out. “Lena…. I felt pleasure…. He made me like it.”

She sobbed curling tight in her bed her grip on her bedding shaking in her weakness.

The other woman’s eyes were wide and filled with tears.

Lenalee touched her frail hand gently, “Lavi could…. He has books and so much information.”

Aleia shook her head sharply. “I just want to go home.”

And she truly did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lavi?” Lena lee asked later the following night as she lay curled against him. The redhead was dozing, her head cushioned between his chest and bicep.

“Hmm?”

“I was wondering….can a person…” she struggled to phrase it, “Be forced to feel good?”

Lavi let the odd, halting question seep into his brain. “Wha?” he asked, pulling from sleep.

“Can a person be forced to feel pleasure from something that shouldn’t be pleasurable?”

He blinked a bleary eye at her, “I suppose. Depends on what it is and all. I would think?”

She was quiet pondering his answer. Aleia’s nightmare whimpers and earlier words racing around her head.

“What’s this about?” he asked. Lifting his head slightly to stare at her.

“Nothing!” she quickly answered.

Quick. Too quick.

“Lenalee..”

“I was just curious.”

But she wouldn’t hold his gaze and Lavi wasn’t buying it. Not at all.

“Right…”

She wanted to confide in him, know what he really thought, but didn’t want to betray Aleia in anyway.

“Look, its nothing, ok?” She settled against his shoulder resolutely.

Lavi lay still for a moment before grabbing her and draping her atop him, “Does this have anything to do with the nightmares Aleia has?” he asked bluntly.

“How did you….” she began and then shut her mouth when she realized she’d slipped.

That intelligent green eye pinned her, “Is it?”

She bit her lower lip, undecided.

“Lena?”

She looked away but his thumb at her chin brought her eyes back to him.

“Hey. Since when don’t you talk to me?” he asked softly.

She shook her head, feeling moisture sting her eyes. “Its not that” she whispered, dropping her brow to his, “I just don’t want to betray her.”

Lavi wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her shoulder, “Something very bad happened to her Lena” he said quietly, “I’m fairly sure what it was. Tyki Mikk is the Pleasure. And that is one of the things he can control.”

He sighed, “Sometimes… a person will have…a physical reaction to something like that, even if they don’t want to. Don’t want it. Its not their fault, none of it is. But sometimes people feel more guilty because of that reaction.”

Lenalee considered that.

Lavi idly rubbed her back as he stared at the ceiling his mind working now. “My guess is while she was trapped in her body, Tyki Mikk used her. I’m also willing to bet that he made her like it, brought her to release and now she feels like she betrayed Yu in some way.”

Lenalee shifted, bringing his attention back to her, “Do you?” she asked quietly.

Lavi shook his head, “Not at all, and I don’t think Yu would either. But she isn’t think that way right now, she’s not thinking clearly.”

“She said she wants to go home.”

“Said that to Allen too. Maybe she should. Something familiar and safe, might be just what she needs.”

Lenalee propped herself up, “She needs Kanda.” she insisted.

Lavi nodded, “I think so too, but first she needs to sort some things out and so does he and then he has to show her that what she’s thinking right now is wrong.”