This is the life

"Matt? Matt, wake up…“ Slowly, the redhead opened his eyes. Liz stood in front of his bed with a tablet. “What…?”
“I’ve brought something to eat, and if you promise not to do anything stupid again, you can eat it for yourself this time.” Matt nodded and Liz took away his shackles. “But behave, okay? Otherwise we’ll both get in trouble.”
Again Matt nodded. Everything seemed to be better than being tied up and fed right now.
“Mello’s awake.”, Liz said then.
Matt who had just eaten something, had to cough. “What? And you’re telling me only now? How is he?!”
Liz shrugged. “His behavior’s still the same, so it can’t be that bad. He’s not feverish anymore. But he demands to see you.”
Matt shook his head. He was glad Mello was apparently better, but…
“Does he know it?”, he asked quietly.
He had just assumed Mary had told Liz everything and from the way she responded to the question, she had. Liz shook her head.
“No. Only that you’ve brought him here. But he threw a fit when we didn’t tell him where you were.”
Matt turned his gaze and gulped. “I… I cannot be with him. I…”
Liz put her hand on his shoulder. “He needs you, Matt. Now more than ever. I know it’s difficult for you…”
“You don’t know anything! I’ve roughly broken every promise I ever gave him. I cannot stand his look now…”
Here was no sense in discussing the subject with him, he kept on his opinion.

One week later:
Liz was with Mary in the kitchen and helped her with the dishes. Both remained silent, none of them knew what to do. Mello had continuously refused to eat anything else than chocolate this week and to speak with somebody else than the doctor while Matt wasn’t there.
And Matt still said, he couldn’t go to Mello and stayed in room squat.
Meanwhile, Mary had aloud him to be absolutely free from the shackles, so he could have come downstairs everytime he wanted, but he didn’t. He only had promised Mary not to try to kill himself again.
Mary sighed. If Mello’s combustion hadn’t been so bad, she’d have said Matt had all the time in the world, but the doctor planned to decrease Mello’s bandages the next day. Mello’s face still looked terrible and a big scar would definitely stay. Mary remembered to well how vein Mello had been and now he should look at his own face with this large red scar on it tomorrow which would never heal completely.

“Maria?”, Liz asked suddenly. “I think I’ve got an idea how to get Matt to visit Mello.”

The doctor’s expression was one of extremely wondering when Liz put her camera in his hands and asked him to tell Mello, he’d make some photos to document the healing.
But one hour later, Liz held the camera with the pictures on it in her hands and went right back to Matt, followed by Mary.
“Mail? We need to talk to you.”, Mary said and sat down on a chair beside Matt’s bed. “I know you’re feeling madly guilty because of Mihael and your broken promises, bur…”
“Here again to tell me I should look after him?”, Matt said tired. Since Mello had been awake, he hadn’t been able to sleep. “Why don’t you understand I can not do it? I can not look into his eyes telling him I…”
“Matt, please. Mello really needs you. Tomorrow the badanges will be decreased and he’ll have to look at himself with the scar for the first time.”
But Matt shook his head. “I can’t…”
Then Liz took out the camera and showed the pics to Matt.
“What do you think he’ll believe when he sees himself like this and you won’t show up?”
Matt gulped and tears rose in his eyes. Yeah, the scar really did look bad, and even if Matt wasn’t of the opinion it disfifured the blonde he himself was most probably not of this opinion. Matt’s mind fought a battle, but again his cowardice won.
“I can’t…”, he said softly and shook his head again and again. “I just can’t…”

When the doctor came the next day to Mello, Mary and Liz stood in front of the hospital bed with mixed feelings. When would be the time Mello saw himself? How would he react to the scar? They were incredibly angry with Matt who still had barricaded himself stubbornly in his room.
Slowly the bandages came off and Mello stayed silent, although the feeling was rather unpleasant. When the doctor finished, he said, “You can slowly open your eyes now. Probably verything will seem blurry at the beginning giving the time your eyes were closed, but you will see clearly again. Also, the light will burn at first but that’ll be over, too. I can give you an ointment you can apply every night, but best for your skin probably is just fresh air.”
Mello blinked. Yeah, the light was burning like hell and he only could see the outlines of everyone, but that was a side issue at the moment. The last days he had thought about something else. “If I try to get up, will I fall down again?”
“ robably yes.”, the doctor said. “Although your legs aren’t injured, your muscles are weak from the long time you lied down in bed and your back was hit by something so the nerves will take their times to recover. Your muscles mainly need vitamins and especially magnesium but as I hear you refuse to eat everything besides chocolate so… The recovery will take time. I’ve brought a wheelchair for you and a couple of crutches, with which you can train to walk.”
Mello turned to the side he believed Mary and Liz were standing.
“Don’t you dare to believe I’d begin to eat vegetables and so. I know there’s choclate with vitamin supplements.” Mary sighed. Shortly afterwards the doctor left and once he was out of the door Mello asked demanding: “And now will you bring Matt here?”
Mary looked at Liz and found her own glance desperatively replied.
“What’s the matter? Can you finally please tell me where the hell Matt is?”
Mary winced at Mello’s cursing but said nothing about it.
“Mello, Matt isn’t here…”, Liz finally said.
“What does that mean, not here? Damn shit, tell me, what the fuck is going on here, or…” Mello knew very well for himself it was futile to threaten. In hospital clothes, without a weapon and not even being able to see properly, let alone to walk he’d been the looser even in a fight with an infant. Immediately afterwards he went opver to entreties. “ lease… What’s with Matt…?”
Finally Liz respondet without further thinking: “Matt had something important to do. I'm sure he comes to visit you soon. Soon he has to realize he can’t hide in his room fore…”
‘Shit…’, thought Liz when she realized she had said too much.
Silence flooded the room then Mello said softly with a lowered head. “He doesn’t want to see me.”
Mary’s heart almost tored when she heard how hurt Mello sounded. “Mihael, he…”
Mello gulped. “It’s ok. Don’t worry about me, I’d just like to be on my own for a while, ok?”
Mary nodded. The hospital room had a surveillance camera so they could verify Mello didn’t do something to himself, even though they didn’t believe he panned such a thing.
Indeed Mello only began just as soon as Mary and Liz had left the room to cry bitterly.

Mary brought him some soup in the evening. Previously the boy hadn’t looked into a mirror, even on the way to the toilet he had kept his head lowered, and actually, Mary was very glad he hadn’t. The fact Matt didn’t want to see him was horror enough, he didn’t need to see his face now like it was. Another shock might have been too much.
She gave the tablet with the plate to his lap. “ lease, eat something. You heard what the doctor said. Only a little, please. Okay?”
When Mello nodded, she turned around to the window when she suddenly heard the spoon falling down.
“What…?” frightened she turned back to Mello who starred at his plate horrified, because of the blurring mirror image he saw in it.
“Give me a mirror!”, he called out with trembling voice. “Immediately!”
“Mihael, you…” “I want a mirror! Now!”
Mary swallowed but took the hand mirror from the drawer and passed it to Mello. “Mihael, I know it looks bad now, but…”
Mello stared at the mirror with wide eyes, stammered “What the… This is…” before he furiously threw it to the next wall where it broke into pieces.
“Mihael, please, you…”
“No wonder, Matt doesn’t want to see me anymore, I look like a monster!” he screamed and let the soup follow the mirror. Mary raised her hands and walked to him slowly. “Mihael, it isn’t the reas…”
“Leave me alone!”, he cried with whiny breaking voice.
Mary sat down next to him and hugged him. “Mihael, please, calm…”
“Let me go! You didn’t tell me! I… I can’t get you didn’t tell me about that…”, the last word were quieter and now Mello just wept. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Mary caressed his back. “Your face isn’t the reason, Mihael… He’ll come back, he loves you…”

When Mary finally got Mello so far she could leave him without having to be worried, she angrily climbed up the stairs to Matt’s room, who stood at the window smoking a cigarette.
“Mail Jeevas, it’s enough now!”
The redhead didn’t even wince when Mary grabbed him at the shoulder and whirled him around.
“How can you be so cruel? Damn shit, is it your vengeance for him leaving you here? You can do this at a better time!”
Matt jerked when he heard Mary cursing who always preached not to.
“No.”, he said simply.
The she saw his eyes.
The pupils were barely visible, so small were they. Mary gasped. Was it what she thought? Then her gaze fell to the injection equipment on the floor beside the bed.
Her first impulse was to slap him hard one left one right, but she took a deep breath and made up another plan.
“You’re truly the last filth.”, she said quietly, then she grabbed him at the wrist and pulled him behind her. Matt had only one moment to throw his cigarette out of the window, before they where out of the room going downstairs. “What…”, he asked but was pulled as fast he couldn’t complete his question. Ultimately it wasn’t important to him. Nothing did matter anymore when you were wasted.

Liz looked questioning at Mary when she pulled Matt into the kitchen and pushed him to a chair. “I’ll be right back.”, Mary said and ran out of the room.

A/N: Beta’d by tama1998