Not An Angel

AN: Ohhhh what a chapter this will be... hmm... who shall live and who shall die? Hehehehe. I do love my mind sometimes.

Suggested Listening: I'm Not an Angel by Halestorm; Not an Angel by City Sleeps; Battles by The Spill Canvas; Lie to Me by 12 Stones (actually… this really kind of fits.)

Chapter 12: Furious Angels

~Mello~

“Damn it, no!” I swore and tried to ignore my pounding heart. I could not afford to give into my worry. I fumbled with the buttons on the phone as I sped dangerously around a corner. I needed to drive faster, he didn't have much time.

I didn't have time to call both Jasper and L so I sent a text which was the next best thing. Jasper sent a reply telling me to wait until he got there, though I think he knew I wouldn't.

Stopping abruptly I shoved the phone into my pocket and shut the engine off. I probably should have parked further away since they would have at least known that I lived here. It was too late to do anything about it so I continued on inside the building.

They had to know I was there for Matt, they had been watching him too long not to.

I took the steps two at a time and calmed my breathing by the time I reached our door, though it would have been hard not to hear my boots on the floor. With my body tensed, I grabbed the door knob and twisted it slowly and let it swing inward.

I saw something black moving behind the door as the crack between the door and wall widened. Jutting my leg out I kicked the door as hard as I could and drew my gun. The door connected with the figure with a crack; I hoped something got broken.

Ignoring that person for the moment I stormed inside and fired a round off at the woman rushing me. She dodged it skillfully and kicked the gun from my hand. I was already stepping back into the hallway as she crouched to the floor and swung her foot out.

She missed my chest by inches but her second attempt was spot on and she knocked my legs out from under. Strong arms caught me as I toppled over and held me in a vice like grip. I swore.

One arm shifted to under my chin, forcing my head back, while the other wrapped around to keep my arms pinned at my sides. This guy was huge and very strong. One wrong move and he would snap my neck like a twig.

My eyes swiveled across the room to the blond haired assassin, and Matt. He was tied to the computer chair and littered with cuts. A camera was placed facing him, they were in the process of filming his death.

“Mello!” his eyes were filled with fear and I wanted nothing more than to get him out of this situation.

The blond took the knife in her hand and ran it down his already bloody cheek. She waited until a new, more steady, stream of blood dripped down before she stuck her tongue out to lick it away. Matt cringed back.

“When I'm done with you, I’ll get your detective lover.” she stated with a giggle. “Mello get out! Please-” Matt was cut short as she backhanded him across the face.

“Even if I could, you know I wouldn't.”

He struggled in his bindings again but was held fast. “Hm... now that we have an even better audience, what shall I do next?” the blonde giggled again and twirled the knife between her fingers.

I could only hope that Jasper would get here soon or Matt would die. Though why he wasn't closer to Matt, today especially, bothered me.

My legs were going numb. I hadn't used the IV drip today and the coffee I consumed had nowhere near what I needed in it. I could feel them start to shake the longer I was held in this position and it couldn't have come at a worse time. Or so I had thought.

When my legs gave out the man was forced to readjust his grip on me and I used that instant to elbow him in the gut and roll away from his grasp. I darted a few feet away and aimed to get my gun.

“Can't you keep him still, Jesus!” the blonde pulled her gun and raised it in my direction- bang

She dropped the gun and held her hand with a hiss. “This is the police, put your hands up.” I breathed a sigh of relief, L must have sent them.

The remaining assassin made a last ditch effort to kill Matt, pulling a gun from his waistband that the police couldn't see. I tackled him to the floor and the gun skidded away. He easily flipped our positions and his hands latched around my neck.

I dug my nails into his hands but he didn't give way, I could hear shouting but it seemed far away. His grip on my neck was so tight I couldn't breath.

I kicked my legs out but he was still unmovable. There was a crazed glint in his eyes, something the entire organization seemed to have.

Another shot rang out and a bullet went through his skull; blood spattered across my face. He slumped foreword onto me, his weight crushing. “Mello!” I could hear Matt yell my name but couldn't move.

The police quickly pulled the body off me and I let out a few choked breathes. I staggered to my feet and over to Matt who was having the last restraints taken off. The moment he was free he grabbed me and crushed me into a hug.

I returned it with the same death grip. He was safe, in my arms and safe.

“Oh thank god you're alright!” he whispered to me.

I didn’t know what to say to him, there were too many thoughts running around in my brain, too many things I needed to tell him. So I remained quiet.

“Excuse me, but why the hell were these people after you? They don’t look like the run off the mill criminals we usually have here.” A mustached cop asked with his gravely voice. What could we tell him?

Well, I was a detective, so it would be safer to say they were after me rather than J. However the evidence wouldn’t fit since Matt was the one tied to the chair in front of the camera...

“Marcus leave those two alone, I just got a call from the chief. He say’s L has taken over everything pertaining this case.” I heard Matt sigh in relief.

“We’re going to grab a few things and stay at a friend’s house.” The cop didn’t look pleased but didn’t say anything more. “Come on Matt.” I detangled myself from his arms and he followed me to the kitchen where I found out what happened to the third assassin.

There was a bullet hole in the middle of his chest.

“Can you go grab us some clothes, and I’ll get the rest?” Matt nodded and hesitantly walked out of the other kitchen door.

The other stuff I had mentioned happened to be coffee, cigarettes and chocolate. I grabbed a plastic bag and carelessly shoved everything inside. Though there was far less chocolate then I would have liked.

I felt my legs begin to shake again and balanced my weight on the counter.

“Mello?” Matt had gotten back quicker than I anticipated. “You really can’t take care of yourself properly can you?” he brushed a piece of hair away from my eyes with a sigh. It made me shiver but I didn’t dare lean into the touch.

“We should go…” he pulled back and nodded, though he stayed right by my side almost as if he were waiting for me to fall.

All eyes were on us as we exited our apartment, the police wanting nothing more than to question the hell out of us but not being able to. We got to the end of the hallway before a familiar face stood before us looking absolutely relieved.

“Jasper.” I snarled. Where the fuck had he been? He should have been with Matt-

Matt grabbed my free hand and squeezed, he knew I had been about a second away from throwing a fit. My shoulders slumped and I heard Jasper snicker.

I glared at him but remained silent, at least until we got to a more secure place.

“You OK to drive?” Jasper directed the question to Matt who shrugged. I wasn’t even about to suggest going on my motorcycle when I could barely stand. “Lets just take my car then; I’ll drive you two idiots back once this whole thing blows over.”

Neither of us argued with him.

The ride to Jasper’s was deathly silent. I had opted for the backseat while Matt took the passenger side next to Jasper. There would be a lot of shit to go through between the three of us; most of it created by me, and me alone.

Though the air between us was tense, I found myself dozing off in the warm car.

“Mello, wake up.” something soft tickled my cheek as my eyes fluttered open. Matt was staring at me with a small smile; his fingertips gently rubbing circles on my skin.

“I'm up...” he nodded and backed away to let me get out. My neck and back were stiff and I winced in pain as I moved a bit too quickly. But I wasn't worried; it wasn't something a hot shower couldn't fix.

“Hurry up you two.” Jasper called softly as we both straggled behind.

The kitchen light had been left on so the apartment was cast in shadows. “Go take a shower before either of you touch anything, both of you are covered in blood. I'll be making tea and coffee for when you get out.” Jasper all but pushed us into the bathroom.

“I can wait.” I told Matt while leaning against the wall. I doubted he'd want me in there with him. “I don't mind if you join me.” Matt's voice was so soft I had a hard time hearing him. But I had.

“Alright.”

The water was hot, but not boiling as he usually had it. I suspected all his cuts were the reason for it, they were deep and would most definitely sting like hell when the water hit them.

I was proven right when he kept flinching as he tried to clean them. I scrubbed myself down before I even attempted to help him. He had open wounds and I didn't need to be adding anything to them; especially when that something wasn't my own blood.

He looked much worse now that the blood was washed away. The cuts were an angry red in contrast to his pale skin. The deeper ones still bled while the others had somewhat closed over. They had only just begun with him if these were the extent of his injuries; the other detective’s bodies were far worse off.

He was lucky.

I lathered my hands in soap and gently rubbed it into the cuts. “Shit!” he hissed but didn't pull away. It was one of those things were you just couldn't do it yourself, like a small child having a parent get rid of a splinter.

“Sorry.” he didn't seem to hear me and yet leaned in to my touch. I smiled. Matt was such a masochist sometimes.

Both of us started when the water ran cold and we hurriedly finished up and all but jumped away from the cold spray. He handed me a towel and we both quickly dried off and dressed.

“About damn time, I was wondering if you fell asleep.” Jasper grunted from the kitchen table. I rolled my eyes and joined him with Matt following me.

“Before I leave the two of you to talk, alone, there are a few things that need piecing together.” I sighed and grabbed the chocolate coffee from the table. “It's decaf.” I frowned but took a sip anyway.

Matt was more playing with his coffee than drinking it while Jasper had nearly finished his tea.

“First, where the hell have you been the past week or so?” I grimaced. Why did Jasper have to ask me that? He just couldn't leave it alone....

“In a shitty apartment, in a worse area than this, piecing together the mystery that is the Organization. As well as checking hotels for the assassins and monitoring a bar for the same.” Matt looked up at the mention of the bar and I nodded.

“You set up the equipment? And what did you use...?” his inner geek was crawling to the surface and I found it oddly endearing to watch the thoughtful expression cross his features.

“Not to be rude, but I could care less what electronics were used. You can discuss that later.” I snorted into my coffee at Jaspers rather blunt statement. Matt looked a little put off but didn't argue. We were crashing at his place until further notice...

“I have a question actually...” they both looked at me and suddenly I felt as though I had spoken out of turn. Like I was at Whammys and had forgotten to raise my hand in class; it was oddly reminiscent.

“What happened before I got to our apartment?” Matt sucked in a breath and took a swig of coffee.

“I'm sure you heard the gunshot.... I dropped the phone not long after. I shot one of them in the chest, the one you saw in the kitchen. I had waited until they tried to subdue me; I knew I only had one chance at it.”

“I had thought you'd said there were three.” Jasper commented.

“Then I was easily subdued by the remaining guy, Mello I’m sure you know how strong he is.” I nodded. “You got there before they could do much damage.” he motioned to his face. My eyes lit up.

“Speaking of that, Jasper you got a first aid kit somewhere?” Matt made a move to protest but a look from both Jasper and I made him sit still. Some of those cuts were deep and needed to be properly cleaned and bandaged, not just washed with soap.

Jasper came back a minute later with a white box. My hands gripped the coffee mug tightly in attempt to keep them from shaking. It didn't seem to be working.

It seemed my body was beginning to protest more loudly to the treatment I had been giving it, just like it did all those years ago when L found me. But this was as far as it would go this time.

Jasper held out the box and I shook my head. “My hands are shaking too badly...” I trailed off and avoided their eyes. “And this is why I gave you decaf.”

Matt sat there silently and let Jasper bandage his cuts, but all the while he was staring at me. I never once met his gaze.

“Alright, all done.” Jasper left the box on the table before placing his empty tea cup into the sink.

“Jasper, why weren’t you with Matt?” I asked. Jasper sighed heavily. “I had gone out to get my gun. I’d left it here accidently; I didn’t realize that until today. Didn’t need it before. A rather stupid mistake…” so he had been staying with Matt rather than just monitoring like I’d asked.

Naturally I had hoped he would be with Matt today, but it all turned out alright.

“Maybe it was better you weren’t there. They probably would have just killed you.” I muttered. Jasper’s eyes widened. I knew he had been expecting a fight, or some form of offensive commentary from me; but I was just too drained to deal with it now.

“Alright, I'm heading to my room now. I just wanted to make sure that you didn't kill each other in the shower and hear where the third assassin went.” Jasper took the hint and bid us goodnight while mumbling something about headphones and crazy people.

Deciding I was finished I emptied the remaining coffee into the sink and left the cup; I entered the living room just as Matt got up.

I sat down on the couch, where we were supposed to be sleeping, though I had a feeling that if things went badly I’d be sleeping in that uncomfortable plush chair across from me. After a moment Matt came and joined me, but sat on the other side.

He was the one who finally broke the silence. “You broke your promise to me.” I couldn't see his face as he rubbed tiredly at his eyes, and his voice let out no hint of emotion. It...hurt.

“I know. But I don't regret it.” I forced myself to meet his stare.

“Why?” he asked. His question was loaded. Why did I do it? Why didn't I regret? Why didn't I tell him? I think he knew the answers to these, but needed to hear me say them out loud.

“Because I needed you to live. Because while L holed himself away and the only way for me to get the information I needed to save you was to... break my promise. Because you would have acted recklessly if you knew, because your concentration would have been shot...”

“You are an idiot.” he stated softly.

“So you’re going to sit there and tell me that you wouldn’t have been distracted?”

“I didn’t say that. I probably would have been doing the same crazy things I have been for the past week, minus worrying about you. But at least if I’d known I could have kept you from…” Matt’s eyes were downcast as he trailed off and my heart sunk.

I knew there would be no going back once I'd done that, but Matt was alive so I wouldn’t regret it. Ever.

“So you're saying I should have just let you die?” I asked incredulously, because no matter how he worded it, that's how it sounded.

“That's not what I said-” he was looking at me again.

“It damn well is! I don't regret saving you. No matter the cost I... don't regret it.” Matt's eyes were so expressive without his goggles, and I found that I never really missed them. They were sad and watery.

He sighed heavily but reached out and pulled me to his chest so that I was half lying on him and half on the couch.

“You're so thin Mello, you haven't been eating have you?” I looked away in shame and tried to get up but he wouldn't let me. “You have to start eating again, I won't lose you to this.” I looked up and saw nothing but truth in his eyes. He wasn't going to push me away...

“I've been using an IV drip... I had no choice since I got so weak.” I mumbled into his chest.

“Then why are you so tired today?” his fingers threaded themselves into my hair and he maneuvered us into a lying down position.

“There wasn't enough time today...” he sighed again. There was no need for me to explain why I hadn't had time.

“I love you Mihael.” he whispered into my ear. “I love you too.” and I meant it. I may never say it to him...but I meant it with everything I was.

“It's enough.” he pressed a kiss to my forehead and tightened his grip on me. “It will always be enough.” I didn't deserve him. Not in the least. But I was lucky.

He loved me.

-End Chapter 12-

AN: Aww I actually left it off on a fluffy-ish note. What is wrong with me? This chapter actually should have been done a LONG time ago, but I was busy with 'Silent Dance' and this got stuck on the backburner