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Fifty Days	By : sashocirrione Category: Death Note > Het-Male/Female > L/Misa Views: 2868 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
Chapter 13: Rem
It was late that same night when Rem finally wandered into L's room by herself, her single visible yellow eye almost glowing in the darkness. Earlier, Misa had placed L horizontally, but since both Misa and Rem had been present, L couldn't launch his plan then. Now, Rem was alone with him, and the entire mansion was eerily quiet.
L said, "Rem, I want to make a deal with you, to help Misa."
Rem replied, "Even if I were sure you'd really help, Misa doesn't listen to my advice. If she did, she would have never met Light Yagami, or she would have killed him soon after their first meeting."
"You don't need to ask for Misa's permission. You could burn the notebook that holds her memories if you wanted. Am I correct?"
Rem looked startled and said, "Yes. But, why should I?"
"Have you seen the tabloid that Hideki Ryuga has been carrying around lately? If not, go get it."
"I've seen that. He kept trying to show the articles to Misa but she wouldn't say anything."
L said, "Just about anyone could start drawing a connection between Misa and Kira from the mistakes she's already made. If she continues to act as Kira, it will get worse. I believe the only chance for her long-term survival and happiness is if she gives up being Kira and also has me to protect her."
"Why you? Misa could control other investigators into working for her, and they would never betray her."
He said, "I am the best in the world; actually I'm the best three since I have other detective identities. Also, there are limits to the notebook's control over behavior, and the investigators' work on Misa's behalf would be disorganized since there would be constant personnel changes resulting from the 23-day rule. Also, using me would protect Misa's mind. It could do Misa a lot of psychological damage to kill me, a person who is both her lover and the father of her child. If you are truly seeking her happiness, you need to protect her from actions that could cause enormous regret."
Rem said, "At one time, you were committed to catching Kira even if you had to sacrifice your life. How can I trust you? You might kill Misa when I'm not looking, then kill yourself."
"Technically, I've already caught Kira. I know who both of them are. And I'm more interested in stopping the deaths than in making sure Kira is punished. I think you also know that sexual relationships create bonds between humans, and having a child together creates an even stronger bond. I do not want Misa or my child to be harmed."
Rem said, "I will think about it," and started to phase through a wall.
"Wait! One more thing!"
Rem stopped.
L said, "Rem, you do admit I saved Misa's life by killing Light, don't you?"
"Yes. When you forced him to be honest he said he would kill Misa the moment she became a liability."
He said, "Then, in return for saving Misa's life, I would like to ask you one favor. If Misa is about to write down my name or Watari's name for a painful death, please kill us painlessly first."
Rem said, "For saving Misa's life, I will try to do this. However, I am not looking over Misa's shoulder all the time, and some of her plans are very sudden. I cannot guarantee it."
As Rem entirely left the room, L felt an enormous relief. If Rem were vigilant enough, then Misa would not kill him or Watari with the extremely disgusting type of death she'd threatened to use. Rem had also inadvertently given L more clues. Admitting that Light would have killed Misa sooner or later was a confirmation that Ryuk was right, a shinigami weakness did exist. There was a way to restrict Rem from acting, and Light had known it. Otherwise, Light would never dare to kill Misa and L's action would not have saved Misa's life.
The other clue was the way that Rem did not jump at the chance to erase Misa's memory when confronted with the way Misa's mistakes were bound to catch up with her. Those tabloid articles made the danger very clear. Despite Rem's obvious concern for Misa, she wasn't willing to forcibly destroy Misa's power and her memories of being Kira. The only way this made sense was if Rem were relying on Misa to do things that Rem couldn't do herself. Could humans do things with the notebook that gods of death couldn't do?
These two clues together suggested there were certain situations in which shinigami were incapable of acting. L was tempted to simply run for it and see what happened, but it was too risky. Without knowing what those situations were, he had no idea if he could create them or not. What he needed to do before running was to first manipulate circumstances so that Rem couldn't kill him or Watari, and he couldn't do that without more information.
Well, that was where the third plan came in. If it worked, he'd be put in a situation where he could test Rem as many times as he wanted without risk to himself, by making it seem as if the danger to Misa was coming from other people. Seeing the results of those experiments should allow him to figure out how to nullify Rem's threats. The third plan required talking to Misa. He'd have to wait until morning, at least. Perhaps longer if the servants attended to his needs as had been happening quite a bit recently.
L settled down to rehearse every detail of plan three in his mind, trying to see problems or loopholes and make sure he had all the counter-strategies in place. Midway through his musings, he suddenly realized something, and was immediately aware that his thinking process had truly been impaired by his captivity if it had taken him this long to realize it. He hadn't seen Ryuk for... how long? About a day?
When Misa had come in at the beginning of the night to put the frame in a horizontal position, L hadn't seen Ryuk following her, only Rem. That didn't mean anything. L had already seen that a shinigami didn't need to be right next to the death note owner, and Ryuk had the entire mansion and a chunk of the outdoor lawns to entertain himself with. There was no reason for him to follow Misa closely.
Even so, the thought worried L. There was something wrong; he could just feel it. Still worrying, he at last drifted off into a short, troubled sleep, punctuated by nightmares of Ryuk's leering, demon-clown face, red bubbles, bees, and sinister black notebooks. Through it all, he could often hear Watari's voice somewhere in the background, begging for help.
The next morning, L awoke in a bad mood. He didn't feel ready to launch the riskiest plan of his career, but he had no choice. He'd need to jump at the first opportunity. The servants were helping him with his morning routine instead of Misa, and Rem didn't even make an appearance. Instead, Hideki Ryuga kept popping in, watching television or wanting to talk about sports, fashion and movie stars. This was probably Hideki's idea of getting to know L better, an attempt to be considered worthy of hearing the rest of the story.
Finally, in the late afternoon, Misa appeared, with a new blindfold. L's eyes fixed on it with a creeping horror as Misa approached. He'd gotten used to seeing, and he didn't want that sense lost again. Misa smiled, and then the blindfold came on, cutting off everything in an enveloping blackness. L opened his mouth to speak, but in the next instant found his bonds being unfastened. As he slipped free of the metal frame, he fell heavily to his knees, thankful he was on thick carpet.
Then Misa's hands were on him again. He felt the straightjacket being loosened, and then sliding away. He heard the metallic snicking sound of the shackles being unlocked, and then they fell from his ankles. He was now completely free, dressed only in his clothing and the blindfold. Misa took his hand and led him in the direction of the bed, and then was pulling him onto it.
Was this nap time, or did Misa want sex? L shivered. Misa had left him alone sexually since Light's death, and a part of him had gotten very comfortable with the idea of not having sex with her. And, now, after seeing Watari, his sense of revulsion toward Misa was higher than before. Could he go through with it?
But then, Misa let him settle down and sink into the softness of the bed without trying to mount him or suck at his neck or run her hands underneath his skirt. She simply lay nearby; her knees touching his knees as her hands very tenderly stroked his shoulder and hair. Was she in a good mood or a bad mood? L couldn't see her face, but her smile right before the blindfold had cut off his vision had seemed a little insane. Misa in a bad mood was scary. He hoped it was a good mood, but so soon after Light's death, there wasn't much chance of that.
Still, her hands were gentle, and she seemed quite calm. L felt his heart warming toward her, a surge of that illogical gratitude again, for letting him relax in a bed. He knew she was a torturer and a murderer, not just of criminals but also of hard-working cops and complete innocents. She'd turned Hideki Ryuga and his entire household into the walking dead just to hide her activities. But, a part of L didn't want to believe she'd done any of those things; it wanted to ignore everything evil and disgusting about Misa. That part frightened L quite badly, especially with how easily Misa could bring out those feelings with just a few hints of kindness. This wasn't good. It wasn't good at all.
As Misa continued to be gentle and let L relax, his conflicted emotions tormented him even more. Misa was evil! She was! He had to hold on to that thought, keep his commitment firm. But then, after a long time of letting him relax, Misa was moving in closer. L stiffened at first, before telling himself it was best to relax. Whatever Misa wanted, it was best to give in, for now, and bide his time.
He expected sex, perhaps even rough sex, but instead Misa snuggled into him very tenderly. Her hands were not roaming over him in that sexual way he knew so well, but instead one was curled against his stomach and the other resting lightly on his side. L knew this was a rare chance to get closer to Misa emotionally, so he reached out his arms and hugged her, gathering her close and holding her. Misa's hot breath tickled his chest even through the t-shirt. There was a voice inside L whispering that what he was doing was dangerous. He was playing with his own emotions, not just hers. But, he ignored it and continued to cuddle Misa.
She said, "We killed him. Both of us killed him. It was so terrible."
There was a heavy sadness in her voice, and L found himself fighting to keep the images of Light out of his mind, the horrible red bubbles, the pink-stained vomit, the choking, strangled attempts at screaming. It was almost too much to bear, and L instinctively drew Misa closer into his embrace, seeking comfort. She felt so tiny, almost child-like, in his arms. He was a small man, but she was an exceptionally small woman. She felt thin and fragile, too thin. As a model, she probably didn't eat that well. He wanted to protect her. It was completely irrational, the idea of him protecting her.
He stroked her face and felt the wetness there. He hadn't heard any crying, but she must have been doing so. Misa pressed her head into his shoulder and L pet her hair. It was softer than he expected. He leaned in and smelled it. It was heavily scented with hair care products, smelling of strawberry, limes and a faint trace of chemicals.
Misa let out a little gasping sob and said, "I didn't listen and he... he was in so much pain."
Her fingers dug into him so hard it was painful, and her body shook with silent sobs. L wanted to feel nothing but hatred toward her. He wanted to paint her as the complete bad guy in his mind, as nothing but a villain, with not an ounce of human feeling in her. But, with this, Misa's suffering was laid open to him. He couldn't block it out or pretend it didn't exist. It didn't justify what she'd done, the people she'd killed or the captivity she'd inflicted on himself and Watari. But, it kept him from thinking of her as completely evil. There was something tragic in Misa that L wanted to comfort. He wished he didn't feel that way, but he did.
L continued holding her close, emotions surging within him. It wasn't just an act. He really did need comfort after seeing Light's death, and Misa needed comfort too. There was something very healing about the power of human touch. Both of them needed this, and it felt good. L tried not to think about the past or the future. He just wanted to cling to Misa's warmth, tenderly enclosing her in his arms, rocking back and forth slightly. They had shared a trauma that nobody else would understand without seeing the same thing. It was connection, a timeless moment of sharing as they clung to each other, so upset but gaining mutual comfort.
L felt an immense sadness inside him, a heavy weight on his heart. He didn't want to be L the detective, a person with a history of chasing Kira and a knowledge of just how evil Misa could be, and he didn't want Misa to be the second Kira, a mass-murderer. He wanted them to be just a man and a woman, sharing the pleasure that could be produced by their bodies.
Misa obviously felt the same way. After a long cuddling session, she began kissing him and groping him, seeking a deeper connection, a more intimate form of touch. L responded enthusiastically, though a kind of nausea was twisting in his gut at the thought of having sex with Misa once again. He both wanted it and was sickened by it at the same time, but he tried to bury his nausea deep within and increase the pleasurable feelings. He knew Misa could make him feel very good, and perhaps the pain would go away for a short time.
He climbed on top of her, reveling in his hands being free, and began slowly, sensuously undressing her. Misa trembled under his touch and arched upward into his caresses. When he had Misa completely naked, he lowered his mouth to the dampness between her legs and began eating her out, turning his head sideways, so he could slip his tongue inside her vagina and use his lips to create suction on her clitoris at the same time.
Misa clamped her thighs around his head very tightly, almost hurting him when she came. L gave her clit a brief rest but inserted two fingers, finger-fucking her, making her gasp and moan. She was trying to pull him up her body, to position him for the actual sex, but he resisted, beginning to lap at her clitoris once again, flicks and swirls and all the techniques he knew she liked, and increased the number of fingers inside her to three, curling up as he thrust, trying to stimulate her g-spot. In a few more minutes, he'd coaxed another marvelous orgasm out of her. Only then did he crawl up her body, inserting himself and beginning to move in and out in a steady rhythm. It was so much nicer being on top when you weren't in a straightjacket. L liked having his arms free to support his weight.
It felt very good, Misa squirming underneath him with her little feminine pants, so extremely wet down there as he pushed in again and again. He needed this; he needed the comfort of touch at a time like this and the forgetting that could come from losing yourself in a base instinct so completely. He wished it were anyone but her underneath him, but he could always fantasize and pretend and block out. L was getting quite good at disconnecting, pushing the shame into a little corner of his brain for dealing with later. He drove himself into her with a frenzied desperation, the desperation of a dying man, feeling a burning need to sink ever deeper inside her, to go further than before. He repeatedly rammed in so hard and so far that she took in his entire quivering shaft right to the base along with the tiniest portion of his balls.
His hands were all over her, glad to be free of their confinement. L and Misa became a flurry of arms and legs, rolling over and over on the bed, frequently switching who was on top. L subtly fought for dominance, trying to make sure he was on top more of the time. What they were doing felt like life to L. It felt like being alive, perhaps the last strong passion he'd ever experience. He was afraid to let it end.
A part of his mind knew Misa was planning to kill him, just knew it. He also knew that his murder, if Rem didn't change it, would perhaps happen in an incredibly gruesome way. But here, now, having sex, so warm and wet, with breasts and hands and licking and sliding around and pressing his most sensitive body part in and out of her moist place that was so suited to its contours, this was a time Misa couldn't kill him.
Adrenaline pumped through his body, and he felt so alive, with his death perhaps lurking just around the corner, but it only made him more frenzied, more determined to lose himself in something other than death for a short time. But, no matter what he did, his level of pleasure only rose so far. Something was holding him back. It felt good, but he was frightened, very frightened, and he couldn't come.
He tried harder, grunting with the force and speed of his thrusts, but his orgasm continued to elude him. After a time he settled down and tried to simply enjoy the sensations of sex itself. Coming wasn't necessary. This was about Misa's desires, after all. L needed to please Misa. It would be best if she were in a very good mood once she found out about plan three. So, he concentrated on her needs, touching her and embracing her just so, trying to create the illusion of true closeness, bringing his thumb to her clit and rubbing relentlessly as he thrust his penis inside her again and again, until at last he brought her to another exquisite climax.
Misa was still shaking from the aftershocks and he was moving inside her steadily when he leaned down and kissed her on the lips. It was a place he usually avoided as much as he thought he could, but this time it was not as distasteful as usual. Misa's lips were soft and warm, and they only provoked a small stab of nausea. He knew he was running out of time. He could feel it. He had to move things along as fast as possible. He carefully adjusted his tone of voice to what he judged would be the most pleasing to her without any risk of sounding fake.
Then he said, "Misa, do you love me even a little bit, even slightly?"
She said nothing, but all at once her muscles felt limp, her flesh dead and unresponsive as he ran his hands along her torso. Then he heard it. It was so quiet it was almost imperceptible, even at this short distance. Misa was crying.
L withdrew from Misa and cuddled her close, rolling onto his side and pulling her with him, enclosing her in his arms. He stroked her hair, and then kissed her tears, licking them away with little flicks of his tongue. Misa's body sagged into him, and L had the feeling, from her body language, that she was ashamed. He wished he could rip off the blindfold and look at her face, to use his profiling talents to truly and precisely judge her state of mind, but he couldn't. She had put the blindfold on him too recently, and she was threatened by physical intimacy whenever he could see her. He had to respect her comfort zones, even though she didn't respect his.
Instead, L hugged her, and let her cry until the tears ran out.
Then, Misa said, "You never came."
"It's because I'm frightened, Misa. My death is approaching, isn't it?"
Misa said nothing.
L said, "Children always ask about their fathers. What will you say when our little girl or little boy asks about me? Will you say you killed me?"
L could feel Misa moving down his body, and in a few moments he knew what she planned to do.
"Misa, that isn't necessary."
But, she didn't listen. She took his now-soft penis in her mouth and began sucking it and rolling it around. L didn't want this. He didn't want it! It was too much. If she could make him come, then maybe something inside him would break.
L said, "Misa, stop it, please. I don't need it."
She didn't listen. A rising panic was surging within L as he hardened in her mouth and her actions started feeling really good. He wanted to tell her to stop again, but he didn't. It was too risky to reject her now, especially after everything he'd already let her do. It was pointless to resist. She needed to trust him at least slightly, to think of him as a possible partner, or plan three wouldn't be likely to work.
L tried to push the panic deep inside him, folding it down until it was a little knot in his stomach, right next to the sickness and disgust. He imagined it wasn't Misa's mouth pleasuring him, but a high-tech sex toy designed to replicate the sensations of a blow job. And, it did feel good. His body liked it, regardless of what his mind thought. Misa had only sucked on him a few times before, and then it was only to get him hard enough for real sex, especially on those days when she wanted multiple encounters and he wore out faster than she did.
But, this time, it wasn't a brief interlude. It continued, and it felt better with every passing second, and L had to admit, as he squirmed underneath her and even thrust up into her face a bit instinctively, that the human mouth could do a lot of things that a vagina couldn't. Misa could manipulate so many aspects of the experience, creating suction, and moving her tongue around, and biting just slightly, and clamping down on him harder than her vagina ever had. She even grabbed his balls and rolled them around in her hands, squeezing and massaging in a rhythm almost matched to the strokes of her mouth.
L felt betrayed by his body, but his excitement was surely rising, and Misa just felt so good. Her mouth pleasured him relentlessly, an onslaught of rising bliss, and her soft hair brushed along his skin as she moved her head, tickling his thighs and lower stomach, and it was all so sensual. He began thrusting so much that she had trouble keeping up with him, but he couldn't help it. That instinct was taking him over again, and he was letting out little keening cries of pleasure. He felt incredibly sick and dirty.
Then Misa was taking him inside her mouth deeper, and he could feel her throat muscles making swallowing movements around his sensitive head, and he suddenly lost it, crazy with desire, shouting out something dirty that he only dimly heard as he emptied concentrated pleasure into Misa, her swallowing movements causing him to spiral up to an additional peak of bliss mid-orgasm, his thighs holding her head like a vice as he spasmed. He let out another instinctive cry just as his orgasm finished and, to him, it sounded like a cry of defeat.
He was losing to her in some way, he knew it. Misa had done something incredibly horrible to him, and it had gotten under his skin and had been eating its way inward since the first time she molested him. The corruption was almost all the way to his soul. He needed to save the last pure part of himself before she soiled that too. He needed to act quickly.
She was still licking up his essence, but he reached down and pulled her head up, getting her into a sitting position on the edge of the bed and then sitting next to her.
Misa said, "What?"
L put his hand on her belly and said, "Misa, I want our child to have a good life. I think our baby would benefit from having both a mother and a father. Because of this concern and the feelings I've started having toward you and because I don't want to die, I've decided to confess something. I want Rem in here to listen too. After you've heard it, then you should decide whether to kill me."
Rem said, "I'm here."
L tried to ignore his disgust at wondering just how much of the sex act Rem had seen, and said, "Misa, Light must have told you how I protected myself from him. I let it be known that if I died, Light would be proven as Kira since no other Kira suspect knew I was L. Early in the investigation, I hid Watari and Mogi from him. Then, when Light became too deeply involved in the investigation to hide any on-site investigators from him, I appointed several distant investigators to perform the same function and I periodically sent them information about the investigation. Those investigators know you and Light as the prime Kira suspects, and they will probably be on your trail very soon."
Misa said, "You betrayed me!"
L said, "I did so before we developed any kind of relationship, and it was only what I'd been doing all along."
Misa said, "Well, I'm sure you know their names and faces, so I'll just get you to write their names in the death note and the problem will be solved."
L said, "Misa, that won't do you any good, only harm. I told each of these investigators the strategy I was using to protect myself, and I know they have copied my strategy and all have additional hidden people who will act if they die. Furthermore, they will act in the knowledge that you are almost certainly Kira. Even if you eliminated the second layer of investigators, I'm sure there's a third layer by now, or maybe even a fourth, each layer protected by secrecy and each death you might cause being a trap for your undoing."
"Well, you're smart! How do I kill them all?"
"Misa, this was a trap designed to catch Light, and I'm at about the same level of intelligence as him. I designed something I wouldn't be able to deactivate. Any attempts will only give more clues to the survivors. This is a problem that can't be solved with the death note. Also, even if you could kill them all, you haven't been safe since you killed so many of the paparazzi. With that evidence, investigators of ordinary intelligence could easily guess you might be Kira."
Rem said, "Misa, this is true. The articles will surely draw a lot of suspicion your way. You can't escape from this trouble by killing investigators."
Misa let loose an angry little scream. "So, are you saying I've been defeated from the beginning, and you knew it? You bastard!"
L replied, "Misa, the investigators probably haven't made significant moves yet. They didn't know the location of headquarters, so they won't know that it was attacked, and they don't know what I look like, so they won't realize from the tabloid photos that I'm now your prisoner. It was probably not until Light's death that they realized something was wrong and, after failing to contact Watari, or me, they probably started their investigations today or yesterday. I didn't put you in any danger by delaying my confession, and I'm now in a position to save you."
"But, you said I couldn't be saved!"
"No," L said, "I said you couldn't save yourself, and that neither of us could save you by killing. There is another way, and I'm the best person to help you in that way. You need to stop killing with the notebook and let me hide you. I'm experienced in moving around the world secretly and I have hundreds of fake identities. If you disappear completely and stop creating new clues with the notebook, it will be extremely difficult for any investigator to catch you, no matter how sure they are that you must be Kira. I can hide us better than anyone else could. We'll probably be pursued, but we'll keep moving, and once we shake off all pursuit we can settle down somewhere to raise our child together."
Misa said, "You'll just try to kill me at a later time."
L said, "I'll never betray you, because I know Rem will kill me. I'll keep you safe. But, I need to be free and have access to my normal resources. I can't be restrained any more, and the torture needs to stop. And, I have another confession to make as well."
In a tired, bitter voice, Misa said, "What?"
"I'm not the greatest detective in the world. 'L' is actually a team of two people, Watari and myself. Either of us wouldn't be as good alone. And, without Watari, I would lose a lot of my drive and determination. He is like a father to me and I'd be devastated if I lost him. Misa, you know what it is like to lose parents. It is an experience nobody should have to go through. If you decide to let me loose and be your detective, saving you from other detectives, Watari is part of the deal. I won't do it without him."
L sat in silence then, allowing Misa to digest the information. He could feel her nervously shifting around as she sat on the edge of the bed, thinking. If only he could judge her facial expression! But, even without being able to see, he received an impression of extreme anger. L knew he'd almost won. He'd backed Misa into a corner where she had little choice. A logical person should accept L's help in these circumstances. The trouble was that Misa was not all that logical to begin with, and she was very upset, and she had good reasons to expect a betrayal.
L knew he would betray her. He'd have to wait until the right moment, but he would. If he could be free and have access to his usual resources, he could easily set up plausible threats to Misa that only Rem could combat. He could use criminals condemned to death posing as detectives looking for Kira. He'd have them suddenly descend on Misa in circumstances where she couldn't access her own death note. Then Rem would have no choice but to kill for Misa's sake.
L knew he could arrange things so that Rem wouldn't realize it was a set up. After all, Misa would be a fugitive on the run from every law enforcement agency in the world, so it was completely believable that she'd be threatened constantly. Then, L would use the results of those experiments to figure out Rem's weakness, the way to prevent her from acting. Once he'd protected himself from Rem, he'd turn over Misa to the authorities.
From then on, it would be out of his hands. L didn't know whether Misa would be executed or put in prison for life or judged insane and locked in an insane asylum, but he didn't care. It would be nice to let someone else make that decision. The only thing he knew was that, if the authorities decided on execution, they would delay it if Misa really were pregnant.
Then he felt Misa getting up, and in the next moment she was thrusting clothes into his hands. L dressed himself as Misa put the shackles around his ankles and locked them.
L said, "Misa, for what we've had together and for our child, if you decide to decline my help, please kill me cleanly. That's all I ask. I want a good death."
His words were addressed to Misa, but he was really talking to Rem. In a minute, Misa finished putting him into all his restraints and he heard her quick, delicate steps moving away and then the door slamming. A second later, he said, "Rem, watch her closely. She might try to kill me in a painful way."
He did not hear any answer. Was Rem angry too, or was she gone?
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Fifty Days