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Hakkai's Secret	By : TsuzukiM Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 3026 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki, know the author, or make and money off this story. I do not own any of the characters except the ones I create.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
Well, this is the first Chapter of the Second Part. This is also the first chapter that had not been beta'd by Guanyin. I have corresponded with someone about beta-ing this, but haven't really moved past the first exchange so I'm posting it self edited! I've penned out through Chapter 37. I can't believe how outrageously long its taken to tell this story! When I first thought it up I really thought it would take 12 or 15 chapters. Now I have it divided up into four parts and it will probably be over 40 chapters. Whew! I guess that's a good thing if your enjoying the read. I hope you enjoy the second part of Hakkai's Secret.

Chapter 13 Greener Grasses

March wore on and turned to April. Gojyo had his life back- the one with no obligations and no responsibilities; the one where he didn’t have to worry about someone at home worrying about him. It was like the life he had before that miserable night when he thought he’d found a corpse in the road. Before Sanzo. Before Hakkai. Before journeys and before …

What?

It was like he had his old life back.

He could take home women again and it didn’t matter one hoot what anybody thought about it. It was like how he’d imagined it every time he’d ever questioned why he had taken Hakkai in and kept him in the first place.

“Shit!” Gojyo swore, and he mistakenly kicked a half dead, skunky bottle of beer off the table. He watched it roll into the middle of the floor, some of the remnants spilling out in a sour puddle.

I always hated those pretty boy types.

But Hakkai wasn’t like that, not really. Hakkai was shy and reserved and had those looks that deceived people. And Gojyo didn’t mean how the curves of his face looked in moonlight, though that was beautiful too. He meant how he seemed to look at others. Those looks, they belied nothing.

People made assumptions about what he was and why he did things. His carefully constructed façade permeated everything he did. Gojyo knew better.

My home is my home again!

The butts were overflowing the ashtray. When he first started filling beer can’s with them he had chuckled about how he wouldn’t have to hear about it. He’d laughed aloud when he first realized he no longer needed to discourage his own bad habits. It was funny that he could do such stupid things without consequences, without nagging. He was alone. He was free.

Now he had to empty the damn things himself.

He’d had one hell of a party the night before and the apartment was wrecked. Empty booze bottles, cigarette butts and all manner of shit were strewn about the place.

He’d even bedded Hakkai’s boss. Hakkai had taken care to make it obvious that Gojyo was to go nowhere near here, and that had made the conquest all the more delicious. Nailing someone Hakkai had asked him not too seemed so naughty. Crying on her shoulder had sealed the deal- sweet!

However, she had been hanging around a lot ever since. He’d told her a version of what had happened. There had been some kind of guilty pleasure in handing out Hakkai’s secrets to people. It was like he still needed to rebel against him, just to prove he could. He even told her about the pregnancy, to which she had had the expected reaction.

“But he’s a guy?”

“That’s up for debate.”

She really did seem to like Hakkai. Sometimes, just a little bit, Gojyo felt the tiniest bit guilty because of her.

She had become a welcome distraction. She kept him warm, and he’d slept in her bed without having to worry about the look Hakkai would give him when he got home. She was a pretty woman, and Gojyo liked her. However, Gojyo was seeing the signs. She was becoming possessive and he’d need to scrape her off soon.

She wasn’t Hakkai. He wasn’t going to let her get her hooks in.

Suddenly Gojyo was very, very angry. “Get out of my head!” he hollered to the walls and a second beer bottle was thrown from his perch on the couch amongst the detritus. It smashed against the wall leaving another skunky stain dribbling down to the floor.

Hakkai! Hakkai! Hakkai! Why are you all I can think about? Gojyo gripped a fist full of fire engine red hair at his temple.

She was the only one who had remained after the landlords had started making a fuss about noise. When they had gotten rid of the other guests, she had stayed behind. Gojyo had forgotten about the warm body that had been in his bed when he crawled out of it. Perhaps she was drawn by Gojyo’s outburst.

It wouldn’t be the first apartment he’d been kicked out of because of parties; and she wasn’t the first woman who stayed with him after a party ended prematurely. This was the first time he felt resentful about it.

There were a few flustered moments when Gojyo blinked in surprise at her sudden appearance in the doorway to the only other room in the small apartment- the bedroom. His bedroom. Then he felt his features melt into an amiable smile and, forced as it was, he was again Gojyo the seducer.

“Well,” he sighed, “I see you decided to spend the night. Plan on sticking around?”

Wasn’t his most subtle hint.

He’d have to get rid of her soon. She couldn’t keep staying here forever. If she did, she’d start thinking she owned the place. He was damned well not going to let that happen. Lord knew Gojyo wasn't looking for another live in lover. He’d had enough with Hakkai. Besides, he knew the specs now, green eyes, dark hair, a soft tenor voice…

She wasn’t it.

But she was fun.

The party wasn’t the only source of the mess. The place had already been trashed by the time he’d invited half the bar over after last call. They just added to the destruction that was already there. Gojyo kept forgetting what day trash day was.

Frozen dinner trays were piling up everywhere.

She helped him clean up some of the mess. Gojyo was beginning to wonder when her next shift at the library started so that he had a tidy excuse to lock her out of the house. If he wanted her company, he was going to have to go to her place again. Gojyo would not pass up the opportunity to shag her, but he felt that she was around his place to much to do it here again.

Gojyo lay awake at night with her in his arms. Her head rested against his chest, and her breathing was a tickle on his skin. She was all the soft curves and silky skin Gojyo liked in a woman. The thing that was driving him mad was that he kept looking down at her hoping to see a different set of features. Somehow, he wanted to smell a slightly more masculine scent, feel a harder body. It wasn’t right. It was like she was usurping Hakkai’s place and it shouldn’t have felt that way.

Hakkai had left. Hakkai was gone. He probably wasn’t coming back. There was no reason to fill the spot he’d left empty. Eventually, it would fill in on its own.

I don’t want him back!

Gojyo kept experiencing an urge to become enraged at the sleeping woman- something that hadn’t happened when she was awake or they were having sex. But in the dead of night, with her warm weight against his body, he wanted her gone. Yet, when she stayed he didn’t say or do anything about it. As much of him desired her as not. Gojyo never felt so conflicted about anything in his life- more emotional shit to blame on Hakkai. It was too easy to want the physical comfort, and the release.

Is this what they mean by misplaced anger?

It was so unlike him. He knew he should be celebrating his reclaimed freedom, being the perfect bachelor again. He didn’t want someone who would be here when he got back, especially a male that could tarnish Gojyo’s careful image as a ladies man. No more exceptions.

Gojyo eventually found sleep. He dreamed.

Gojyo dreamed of Hakkai. In his dream Hakkai’s soft lips were pressing against his and he opened his mouth. The body above him was lean and hard, nothing like the woman he had in his bed. The hips were narrow, not much wider than his waist. The belly was flat, tight under the scars.

Hakkai’s eyes were sad but the green in them had an electric spark. His smile hid so much that was there underneath. It was like looking into a forest in summer- lush and full of life. It could seem like there was nothing beyond the lush trees, but hidden in them were myriad wonders, life in motion. There was death in those eyes. There was joy in them too- it was just harder to find.

He was a straddling Gojyo’s hips, and sitting on top of him. Hakkai’s bum rested against Gojyo’s pelvis, trapping his cock against the cleft of his ass. Gojyoran his hands up the length of Hakkai’s lean muscular body. He stroked his elegant neck and traced his fingers over his swollen lips. He had to sit up a little to reach his fingers into the soft dark hair, and he watched, fascinated as his dream Hakkai tipped his head into his palm.

“My Hakkai…”

Hakkai leaned forward to kiss Gojyo again and Gojyo sought his taste. Hakkai’s kiss became almost ravenous, almost violent and Gojyo liked it best when he was hungry like that. He pushed his tongue past those sensuous lips and tasted- cigarettes?

“Sanzo?” Gojyo tried to come fully awake. He looked around him, getting his bearings. The lady was still asleep beside him, but he had a blond bombshell in his lap.

Gojyo shook his head, trying to get the image of Hakkai out of his mind. The sudden appearance of Sanzo was confusing. There was something disconcerting about ones dreams blending in with reality like that. Gojyo sat up and pushed back against the head board as if he’d discovered a python in his bed. “What the fuck-? Sanzo?”

“Who did you think it was, Baka? Don’t confuse me with one of your bimbos,” he stuck his thumb at his company, who was also coming awake.

“Wha- what? Who’s that?” she was saying. Her eyebrows drew together into a confused frown. Even if the entirety of the situation was slow to sink into her, the insult was not.

“Son of a bitch- how did you get in here?” Gojyo growled.

“I have a key.”

“Who gave you a key?”

“I’ve always had a key. I made a copy off of yours when you weren’t looking, stupid kappa.”

“Gojyo, who’s this man?”

“Shut up, bitch. It’s time for you to leave,” Sanzo said to her without looking at her.

Gojyo was stunned.

“Gojyo-kun, are you gonna let him talk to me that way?” she demanded.

“Sanzo-sama does what Sanzo-sama wants,” Gojyo heard himself saying, credulous acceptance of the visit sinking in. He couldn’t remove Sanzo if Sanzo didn’t want to go even if he tried.

She struggled past the two men. Pissed off, she set about getting her clothes. She wrapped herself in one of the bed sheets, pulling them off of Gojyo as she went. He did nothing to stop his sudden nakedness. He was opting for the hope that it would put Sanzo off balance- and it did. He could see it in the way those violet eyes dropped across Gojyo’s form and then his cheeks pinked. Gojyo’s dick twitched, adding to the atmosphere. The one who it bothered most, however, was his lady friend.

“A priest?” she shrieked, suddenly looking away from Gojyo bashfully, hoping he would cover himself in the remaining sheet. It was her fault for exposing him, he thought.

“Well, I’ll be damned!” she said, “You’re not going to tell me this is the Gengyo Sanzo, are you? Somehow I thought he’d be nobler. I didn’t believe everything you told me about him- now I do.”

With only eyes for Gojyo, Sanzo sneered, “You talk too much, Gojyo.

Don’t believe everything you’re told. Now get out, bitch… Where’s Hakkai?”

The lady glared at Sanzo and Gojyo could almost read her thoughts, he doesn’t know?

Gojyo was very suddenly fed up with the blond in his lap. “You know something, on second thought--” With an unexpected and unceremonious shove, Gojyo very deliberately toppled the priest over and sent him sprawling hard to the floor. He landed on his back with a satisfying thunk. “She’s right. She’s invited and you are not!”

Sanzo popped back up to his feet. He sputtered; a rare occasion when he was embarrassed and Gojyo could literally see his temper flare.

“Sorry if I wasn’t polite to your bimbo,” he turned towards the woman, who was rapidly getting dressed. “Please-leave, -now.”

“I don’t care who the fuck you are,” she spat. She stuck a finger in Sanzo’s face, “You shouldn’t talk to people like that!”

“Feh.” He turned back to Gojyo, sticking one hand on his hip. He had the top of his robes wrapped around his waist and Gojyo could make out his shoulders and face in the dim light. “Tell me, where’s Hakkai? I have unfinished business with the hermaphrodite. But now that I’m here, I suspect he dumped your sorry ass. Going back to old ways, Gojyo?”

“I never left them! What makes you think Hakkai left, any way? I threw him out! Good riddance!” Gojyo was not entirely sure how he was being insulted, but he certainly felt insulted.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Sanzo said in that off handed, sarcastic way that made Gojyo want to wipe the floor with his ass, “ This place is a dump. You can’t live without the little bastard. Too bad he screwed us the way he did. You gonna cry Gojyo?”

Gojyo rose from the bed to stand naked in front of the priest. He towered over the man, but Sanzo held his gaze evenly. No matter how Gojyo had tried to threaten violence against the priest, Sanzo was unflappable. He maintained his air of careful indifference. He always did. Gojyo had never been able to make the priest flinch.

“Screwed us? Hell yes he screwed us! That doesn’t mean you can come sneaking in here in the dead of night and start knocking skulls! What the fuck were you thinking I was gonna do? You don’t have Hakkai here to bone, so you come to me? Go fuck your monkey!”

“You couldn’t possibly satisfy me, half breed, any more than you could him. Now that I see how pathetic you are without him, I don’t wonder. I have nothing but disgust for you! No wonder he left. You’re a waste of skin.”

“Bullshit, you miss him or you wouldn’t be here.”

“Miss him? I don’t miss anybody. You said it yourself- good riddance. He had no business doing what he did to me! What he did was unforgivable.”

“What? What he did to you? Look what he did to me! He wanted to have this kid here! Then when we’re not all happy about it, he takes the fuck off without so much as a howdya do! Fuck him, and fuck you, your highness. You should just be glad he’s gone and get the fuck away from me.”

“Oh, I’ll get the fuck away from you, right after I blow your miserable scarred up head off your shoulders!”

Gojyo grabbed the priest’s wrist and hauled him forward to stand nose to nose with him. “I should beat the shit out of you. It’s your fault he left!”

“My fault? My fault! Now you admit he left? Why? Because you know you couldn’t do the job yourself?”

Gojyo backhanded Sanzo and the librarian shrieked. Gojyo had a flashback to that last time he hit Hakkai. It didn’t feel the same. Somehow, hitting Sanzo had never made Gojyo feel guilty. Besides, the priest took pride in being able to take a hit, and he gave back as good as he got. He turned his face back to Gojyo immediately. He had a maniacal grin twisting his mouth and Gojyo realized he’d probably just turned the sadistic bastard on.

On some level Gojyo had forgotten he had a woman in his apartment. At the sound of her voice, both men turned to stare her. Tears were flowing down her cheeks. She was crying and she was angry. Her hands were fisted at her hips.

Women cry over the strangest things!“Will you look at that,” Gojyo murmured, the animosity between him and the monk suddenly evaporating like so much smoke.

“Hakkai worked for me for over a year!” she screamed. Red and violet eyes registered no understanding. They gawked at her outburst.

“I’ve always known he was a youkai! He didn’t know I knew, but I did! I didn’t tell anybody and I hired him anyways because he’s such a nice quiet man. I had no idea what’s been wrong with him lately, but I covered for him because he’s so sweet and he’s usually so dependable! He’s kind and smart and generous. He always had time for the kids that come to the library. The students love him.”

“What’s your point?” Sanzo hissed. It didn’t seem to be bothering him much that he’d just been slapped. Gojyo still had Sanzo’s wrist gripped in his fist, but he was no longer conscious of it.

“Look at you two! You’re at each others throats!”

Gojyo pointed at Sanzo. “This?” Gojyo said like it was a joke, “We’re always like this! This isn’t unusual!”

Sanzo shrugged. Gojyo dropped the priest, who immediately set about lighting a cigarette. Without thinking about what he was doing, Gojyo produced a lighter and lit it for him. Gojyo figured the priest had to be deliberately feeding her his dismissive attitude. It wasn’t that Sanzo didn’t make a habit of being that way- it was just that Gojyo could usually tell when it was contrived.

The unconsciousness of their habits together was not lost on the librarian. As she spoke she gathered her clothes and began thrusting them on. The whole time she tried not to expose herself, with little success.

“You both are only thinking about yourselves! Hakkai’s out there on his own and he’s pregnant! All the two of you can do is fight and cry about how much he hurt you! Did either of you ever think about how he feels? For even one second, did you ever even think that maybe he needs your love?”

Two sets of mouths gaped at her. “Feh,” Sanzo spat and turned away, but she had Gojyo’s attention.

“You know what I think? I think he’s better off without you! I think you are pathetic! Maybe you two should shack up- you’re each as selfish as the other is. You’re perfect for each other.”

She shoved her shoes onto her feet.

“I’m getting the hell out of here. If Hakkai comes back, he has a job at the library. After seeing how you two really are, I don’t see why he should come back. For his sake, I hope he does’t!”

In a flurry of motion, she stormed out of the apartment and was gone.

“We’ll that’s one way to get rid of her,” Gojyo said. “You think we pissed her off?”

Sanzo sat on the bedside after she was gone. The whole show of not caring what she had said drained out of him and Gojyo could see how truly stressed he really was. He looked tired now, and he kind of sagged like someone had replaced some of his bones with rubber bands.

Gojyo went to the window to watch the librarian storm up the road in the early morning twilight. The dirt road played havoc with her high heels, and she stumbled when she tried to set out at a brisk pace across the mud ruts.

“She’s right you know. We are pathetic,” Gojyo said. He picked the least smelly shorts he could find out from under his bed and put them on. Sanzo puffed on his cigarette. “Speak for yourself.”

Gojyo took one of Sanzo’s cigarettes and plopped down beside the priest. Sanzo didn’t protest. The two sat and smoked together in silence for a while.

“I miss him,” Gojyo said.

“Me too,” he said flatly. Gojyo looked sidelong at the priest, one red eye boring into Sanzo’s profile for several protracted seconds. He didn’t think Sanzo would have admitted that. It was more surprising than his early morning visit. Gojyo hadn’t stopped to think about just how long Sanzo had been haunting his apartment, waiting for Gojyo to awaken before he got grumpy and woke him up. For all Gojyo knew, he’d been here since last night.

“So what are we gonna do about it?”

“Absolutely nothing.”

Gojyo glared at Sanzo. “Why the hell not?”

“Hakkai’s a big boy- or girl. He can make his own decisions. She’s right about one thing- after the way we treated him he’s probably not coming back. It’s his right.”

“So, you’re just gonna sit there and accept that he’s gone?”

Sanzo shrugged, “What about you? I distinctly heard you say ‘good riddance.”

Gojyo looked into space for a few moments, “Yeah, well I don’t want to be the kind of bastard that throws people out in the snow.”

“He left you.”

“Yup. He did. You think he’s going to be alright?”

“Hakkai’s tough.”

Gojyo watched the priest smoke his cigarette. He was in his thinker position. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Besides, if he comes back I’m going to have to take him in,” Sanzo said.

For a startled second Gojyo didn’t know what the priest meant. It took a moment to percolate in that Sanzo was talking about taking him into custody. “Why? Why would you do that, baldy?”

“I have too. It’s my duty.”

“Bullshit.”

“I can’t have that child around Chang’an.”

“The truth comes out.”

“What do you know about it?”

“Is that why you showed up here? To take Hakkai in?”

Sanzo shrugged. “Maybe, depending on how things went.”

“Well he’s gone. He left that night. I have no idea where he went.”

“That’s good because then I don’t have torture it out of you.”

“So you’re going to just let him disappear?”

“Unless you have any leads? I don’t see you going after him.”

“Sanzo, if I had any leads, I would have gone after him by now. He just disappeared like he’d never been here.”

Gojyo thought about the mangled cart proprietor. He’d asked around and done a lot of snooping. So far nobody had connected it directly with Hakkai. As it was, if Hakkai had gotten within visual distance of any of the market place witnesses, he’d probably get fingered.

It was a good thing if he didn’t come back. They’d probably execute him.

Sanzo broke Gojyo out of his reverie by leaning against him. Gojyo dropped one arm over his shoulders. He gave Sanzo a squeeze. “S’okay man.”

“This place really is a dump now.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll clean up in the morning.”

“It is morning.” Gojyo gave into the sudden impulse to draw the monk close to him. He wrapped his arms around the priest and drew him in for a kiss. True to form, Sanzo gave a token resistance and met Gojyo’s kiss.

Gojyo savored of the monk. “You taste like that woman,” Sanzo whispered to Gojyo.

Gojyo laughed. “I’m sure I do. How do you know what she tastes like?”

“I know what you taste like. I don’t mind,” Sanzo said, bringing his lips back to Gojyo’s face. When Gojyo pushed him back against the couch, Sanzo went willingly.

Gojyo rolled on top of him, and strong legs wrapped around his waist. Pulling Sanzo toward him, to the edge of the sofa Gojyo was able to push his hips up into the priest.

For a time, he lost himself in Sanzo. He tried to forget how screwed up things were, and pretend that this was like any other time he’d kissed the priest. But it was a sad and bitter honey that the priest gave him. It bespoke of old memories, times past and loss. Gojyo had had enough of loss. Sex never seemed so nostalgic.

On some level, Gojyo knew the only reason the priest was paying any attention to him was to substitute him for Hakkai. There was something not so nice in it. He also knew, he was kind of doing the same thing, kissing Sanzo.

He got his hands under the small of Sanzo’s back and lifted him up so that he was standing with Sanzo wrapped around him. Sanzo was not a big man, and Gojyo had practice in hefting this one. Sanzo’s hands were tangling in his hair. He was kissing Gojyo with small nips and bites, as was his habit. Sanzo made a low growling sound of approval when Gojyo carried him.

It had been a long time since Gojyo had laid the priest.

Kissing him, Gojyo carried him across the room. He was good at carrying Sanzo, walking and kissing him at the same time. Sanzo’s kisses were impassioned. Gojyo had to laugh because half the tricks in his repertoire came from Gojyo and he didn’t even think the cleric realized it. The same went for Hakkai, and it sometimes came across to him in strange ways.

“You want me to fuck you, Sanzo?” Gojyo breathed into the shell of his ear.

Sanzo growled, nibbling along Gojyo’s neck, threading his fingers through Gojyo’s hair. When he whispered into his ear, Sanzo’s body shuddered. He was extremely responsive, and Gojyo was sure sex has been an ulterior motive in this little visit from the beginning. Sanzo had probably just expected to get it from another source.

Gojyo knew he liked it hard and fast.

It wasn’t until Gojyo got to the front door and managed to get his hand around the knob that Sanzo became suspicious of what he was doing. He went stiff and his eyes flashed with the dawn of understanding.

“Too bad,” Gojyo said to him. The priest took on a most distasteful confused expression. He glared at Gojyo.

“What?” he growled at Gojyo.

Gojyo opened the door and cold March air blew in.

“Out you go!” Gojyo called and peeled the priest off of himself. He tossed Sanzo out onto the porch like he was a hissing cat. He landed on his feet, but stumbled for a moment, bounced a few times, and caught his balance. Moving quickly, he wheeled around to dart back into the house but he wasn’t quick enough. The door slammed in his face before he could stop it. He damn near smashed his nose into the wood.

Sanzo stood stupefied. He stared at the door for several heartbeats, bewildered that Gojyo of all people had just jilted him. “What? You’re not seriously throwing me out?”

“Yup, I am!” came the muffled reply. Sanzo could hear laughter in his voice.

“Why?” Sanzo banged on the door, pounding it with his fist.

“Because, your worship, I’m not interested any more.”

“What? What’s the meaning of this?”

“The only reason I have ever had for you is Hakkai. Sorry man, the banks closed for a holiday and you’ll have to take a number if you want me. Call me later, I might change my mind. Don’t hold your breath though.”

Sanzo spluttered and cursed at him. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” He fisted his palms at his hips, kicked the door and shouted curses at the hanyou. Gojyo turned the lock.

“Go fuck your monkey,” Gojyo said through the door.

“Fuck you!” Sanzo bawled at the door, blasting his middle finger at it. A moment later the door opened again and Sanzo’s gun was ejected. It landed by his feet. He stooped to pick it up. “Son of a bitch!”

Eventually, Sanzo dusted off his battered pride and followed in the footsteps of the librarian. The early morning light was pink with the coming sun. Gojyo could hear him cursing and talking to himself until after he was out of sight.

Gojyo laughed so hard he cried. He’d have to make sure he changed the locks.
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Hakkai's Secret