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Welcome to Hellsing!	By : Countess_Millarca Category: Hellsing > General Views: 2751 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, nor any of its characters, just a clearly disturbed mind! I have not, do not and will never make any profit out of this!

Chapter List
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DISCLAIMER : AS ALWAYS I DO NOT OWN HELLSING NOR FRANZ FERDINAND WHOSE SONG I AM USING IN THIS CHAPTER

Italics : thoughts and inner dialogues

"Who would have thought a slip of a woman like Seras would weigh this much?", Amelia said aloud, tired after her third stop on her way to the bathroom.

Finally reaching her destination, she deposited the small vampire in a half standing position near the bathtub and started undressing her, trying really hard not to focus on what the dark stains covering her from head to toe were. After accomplishing her goal, she pushed the female in the bathtub and started the tiring process of scrubbing her clean. Satisfied with the results after half an hour, she wrapped Seras in a forest green towel, tried to untangle the mess of blond locks without much success, only to give up after ten minutes, and dragged her to the bed.

"Now, what? Do I let her sleep here or call for someone to take her to her own room?", Amelia wondered, but soon discarded the idea of entrusting the unconscious female to the uncouth brutes she met earlier this evening.

Sighing deeply, she made Seras as comfortable as she could and made her way to the intercom. Well, since the female could not be moved, the only choice left was for her to sleep on one of the guest rooms. Surely a huge mansion such as this one would have more than a fair share of empty rooms.

Taking a deep breath she pressed the intercom and said with a steady voice:

"Hello? This is Amelia Rogers. I would like to request another room to be prepared for my use this night, since mine is currently occupied", she informed whoever was on the other side of the line. A few seconds later a voice responded.

"Certainly, Miss Rogers. Please wait for a few minutes and someone will be there shortly to escort you", answered a neutral male voice.

"Thank you", Amelia replied relieved her predicament had been solved.

The only problem now was if she should change her attire or not. She was already in her sleepwear and, to be completely honest, she was far too tired to care for modesty. Besides, who would be up at this ungodly hour to criticize her lack of decent clothing? The only person – creature - who came to her mind was probably otherwise occupied right now, after burdening Amelia with caring for his offspring. The nerve of him knew no bounds! No, she decided at last, there was no reason to change clothes. She was wearing a T-shirt and some shorts, not the latest creation of Venus Victoria; nothing to be ashamed of…

The knock on the door snapped her out of her inner debate and she promptly went to answer the door, expecting to see a maid or a butler in the standard Hellsing uniform. But, noooo, God forbid she was so lucky…What greeted her was the Frenchman, she was introduced to earlier as Pip Bernadotte, wearing a flower patterned, unbuttoned shirt, swim trunks and a – I kid you not – sombrero. Well, she could not complain this day was uneventful at least. The lyrics from one of her favorite songs popped in her mind suddenly:

"Floating off the coast of Mexico

On a rafter

I reckon there must be a couple of million down there

And though I, cannot swim

We can learn together

Eating nothing but the sun and the lives of our

Caipirihnas

Oh I feel alive

Yeah I feel alive

You better run honey

Yeah you better run

You better run honey cos the only thing they give you

From a swing is if you get up and run

You better run

You better run

You better run

You better run

You better run

Your blood in your hair

Honey there's that sound in my ears

But I'm still trying to survive

Oh I'm trying to breathe

I feel alive

Yeah I feel alive

You better run honey

Yeah you better run

You better run honey cos the only thing they give you

From a swing is if you get up and run

Oh yeah

If you get up and run

Oh yeah

If you get up and run

Oh yeah

If you get up and run

Oh yeah

If you get up and

I need a new kind of thrill

She said to me

So I feel alive

And though there's nothing that I wouldn't try

You just don't it get it

I need a new kind of thrill

I need a new kind of thrill

I need a new kind of thrill

I need a new kind of thrill

So I feel alive

Oh I feel alive

I feel alive

Yeah I feel alive

Well, she couldn't argue with that…the next time she complained life was boring, she made a mental note to bang her head to something hard repeatedly, until the thought disappeared from her mind!

"Um, Mr. Bernadotte, why are you dressed like a mariachi on vacation?", she asked the man, trying really hard not to laugh at the ridiculous sight he presented. She half expected him to conjure a guitar out of thin air and start singing.

"Mademoiselle, if you had been through what I did this evening, you would want to relax a little as well and what better way than a nice time by the pool?", he answered with a small grin.

"I can honestly relate, Mr. Bernadotte. However, you do realize it's the middle of the night, right? I can understand the clothes, if you intended to have a pool party, but the hat?", she asked confused.

"Ahh, mon cherie, I fear you are way too pragmatic. If I did not wear it, the image would be ruined, no?", he replied and winked at her.

"I fear you are way too flamboyant, even for a Frenchman!", Amelia thought cynically, but decided to hold her tongue.

"I will not argue with you, Mr. Bernadotte, for I am far too tired. I assume you were sent to escort me to a temporary room?", she asked expectantly.

"Why, yes! That is exactly the purpose of my visit, unless you wish for something else…?", he replied slyly, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Is it too much to ask to hold a simple conversation with a male in this mansion without any sexual innuendo or sexist comment?", she thought exasperated.

In the meantime, the Antonio Banderas wannabe had taken the chance to survey the inside of her room and a loud curse escaped his mouth as he spotted Seras on the bed.

"Is that Mignonette? I wondered what happened to her when Red Skull disappeared with her an hour ago. Is she alright?", he asked worried.

Amelia stifled a laugh at Pip's nickname for the vampire. She had to give him credit for that one.

"According to Alucard she will be fine. I, on the other hand, am now in charge of introducing Seras to the benefits of a liquid diet", she informed him, feeling dejected.

Apparently her face must have shown how much unhappy she was by that prospect, because he put his hands on top of each of her shoulders and squeezed a bit, as if to reassure her everything would turn out well.

"So, it's your turn now Amelia? Well, don't worry so much! We can always force feed her, if you are unsuccessful…", he joked good naturedly.

"I thought the point was to make her drink willingly. Why is she refusing to drink blood anyway? Isn't it a vampire's instinct to yearn for blood? I have not heard of a vampire refusing to feed before", Amelia asked with a frown.

"A couple of hours ago you believed that vampires were myths or fictional creatures and now you are an expert on their feeding behavior?", a sarcastic voice in the back of her mind mocked her.

"Honestly, I have no idea. I think you should ask Alucard or Sir Integra that question. Maybe they can give you some tips too", Pip offered.

"If they are assigning me with the task, then they probably have the same dilemma; that or they are just simply sadistic and take pleasure into finding new ways to torture me without leaving any physical evidence", she thought wryly.

"I'll do just that, Mr. Bernadotte. Thank you for the suggestion. Now, the sooner you show me where my room is, the sooner you can return to…whatever it is you were doing", she said, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Are you sure I cannot tempt you to join me, pretty lady?", he asked, grinning wolfishly.

"I am positively sure", she replied dryly with a hard stare.

"Oh, well, you can't blame a man for trying", he said laughing and turned, motioning for her to follow him.

"I sure as hell can try!", she thought angrily.

Pip escorted her to a room similar to her own and bid her goodnight. Before any thoughts occupied her mind, she threw herself on the comfortable mattress and passed out blissfully, hoping this time no one would interrupt her much wanted rest.

As it turned out, no one did…

"Well?", Integra asked the imposing vampire in her office. She had decided to wait before she retired for the night for news on the mission.

"It was a complete and utter failure", Alucard informed her, clearly disappointed.

"How so, servant? Explain with more details. Unlike you, I am not gifted with mind reading abilities", she retorted venomously.

"No, however, your tongue is sharper than many men's blades. Besides, those particular abilities are more of a curse here, for there are not many who possess a higher intelligence, mind you of course, my master", Alucard replied with a heavy dose of sarcasm.

"Spare me the flattery, vampire, unless you wish to ascertain exactly how sharp my tongue can be!", she threatened him.

"Perhaps another time then…Integra" he conceded, whispering her name seductively, but not before he provided her with an image of how much he would enjoy her challenge.

"Alucard! Only over my dead body would I allow such an act to happen, you depraved lunatic!", Integra bellowed enraged.

"That can be arranged" he replied with a maniacal grin at her flustered face.

"Y-you, enough! Tell me what happened with Seras or I swear you will not taste a single drop of my blood for many years to come", she exclaimed, knowing fully well that was a threat he actually took very seriously.

"Oh, fine…As I already stated, the mission did not have the desirable outcome we hoped for. She did indeed lose herself in blood lust, however, she was more like a beast without a conscious thought unable to control her actions and I was forced to subdue her, before she escaped and hurt innocent civilians", Alucard concluded his report.

"So, another failed attempt. What are we to do now, Alucard?", she exhaled tired and asked the vampire.

"Not to worry, master. I already made plans regarding this matter", he said rather cheerfully.

"Should I call the morgue, servant? I remember vividly the last time I allowed you to make plans on this matter…I trust no one of my staff has gone missing again", she warned him, narrowing her eyes.

"Are you still angry over that insignificant incident? He was already dying of lung cancer. I merely ended his suffering sooner and gave him some peace. It was truly a shame that the Police Girl did not appreciate my point of view and let all that delicious blood go to waste in her bathtub", he replied innocently.

"Just because he had declared his undying love for cigars did not mean he would develop lung cancer in the future Alucard! As far as I am aware, precognition is not one of your abilities!", she screamed out, losing her last thread of patience and taking out her gun.

Unfortunately, all that remained in the office was a clearly distressed woman holding a gun – namely she - and an echo of a throaty, mocking laughter.

"Well, there goes my beauty rest…", Integra sighed and started taking account of her staff, making sure all were alive and intact at the moment.

If you liked it, you know what to do! What, you ask? Well, of course, reviewwwww:)
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