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The Time For Change Is Now	By : Reika Category: +. to F > FAKE Views: 3033 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own FAKE, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.

A/N: Okay�something I want to address. I got several reviews (see above) where people were just *outraged* that Dee slept with JJ, for one reason or another. I apologize if anyone experienced health problems. The issue of infidelity is, I think, an almost laughable one. I think that if anything, Dee�s nobility would be what would cause such feelings, but no actual infidelity took place.
Yeah�it�s going to cause some rockage of the Dee/Ryo ship, but that gets dealt with later.
As far as one review stating that JJ�s actions were not noble, or selfless�well�I didn�t say they were. Other reviews stated that *they* saw it that way, and that�s fine. I think there was certainly a degree of selflessness there but, as you�ll see in this chapter, JJ�s not a sweet little knight, saving Ryo from the evil overlord Rose. He has his reasons. Read on, if you want to know what they are.
Please read and review, so I can know if anyone actually reads this on this site.

Warning: There is meanness in this chapter. Meanness to Ryo, to be specific.

Chapter 14��One man�s solution is another man�s problem.

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Dee stayed around JJ�s for most of the day. He had considered going home for a change of clothes, but laziness won him over. He didn�t much like his own apartment, in any case. The place felt cold and reeked of bachelorhood � something Dee used to pride himself on and was now beginning to detest.
He thought back over his life, trying to figure out exactly where the change had occurred. Even when he met Ryo, he was still what he considered to be a playboy. Up until his more recent period of candidacy for sainthood, he�d lived a wilder life. He couldn�t say he had ever spent much time in the fast lane that JJ seemed to for so long, but he was a social creature, and he�d had many lovers. It boggled his mind to think of how this one sexual encounter seemed enormous in importance when five years earlier he wouldn�t have given it a second thought.
It was true that he enjoyed the company of both men and women, and once or twice, both at the same time. Whenever he�d been asked about it he could never really come up with the right words. He and Penguin had certainly had more than a few talks, the overly gracious nun trying hard to understand him. Women were�soft. They were made up of rounded curves and smooth lines. He found a gentle quality to them, even the aggressive ones, and found something indescribably tender to their supple lips and the smell ofir pir perfume. Men were�different. They smelled different too. Where the curves were smooth and round on the fairer sex, for males they were rougher, sharper. There was just something in the way a man�s hips met his legs and he found great appeal in the look of a chiseled jaw or firm chin. He wasn�t sure if he preferred one gender over the other, but most of his partners had been male.
At times, he admittedly missed being a little promiscuous. He had a fierce libido and it often called to him, begging to go out and play as it had in times past. But somehow, after his monumental partnering with one Randy �Ryo� McLean, he just�stopped. Knowing Ryo, learning from him, and observing the gentleness and naivety of his nature that was so very different from his own, he�d fallen in love. He began to want something more than just the black book stuffed full of numbers in his pocket; he wanted someplace � *someone* � to call home. He supposed it was a number of factors; he was getting older, steadily approaching thirty, and before Ryo he�d never been exposed to domesticity, really. Having never really seen a real home he hadn�t known how badly he could want one. But now he did � and he considered himself lucky. Although Ryo had been the home he was shopping for, and lost, JJ felt like home too�new homes were always a little difficult to adjust to, but he was confident that everything would work out, in time. And regardless of the outcome, he would never regret knowing Ryo, for all the many things it had taught him.
After his shower he pulled on his pants and flopped back onto the large bed to watch some television. He tried to keep his mind occupied with the various shows and even a few infomercials�but he couldn�t. He kept replaying the images of the previous night in his mind � the look of pale skin awash with moonlight and the graceful line at the nape of a delicate neck. He didn�t regret it, no�and knew that nothing could make him, and yet�his mind wandered back to Ryo. He debatelltelling the other man about what had happened. But it wasn�t as though he had anything to be ashamed of, and telling Ryo would seem more like a confession than anything else. It wasn�t really any of his business; but Dee was an honest man, and couldn�t shake the feeling that he should know. At some point during his musings Dee realized something that hurt him, deeply�would Ryo even care?
He knew he would, of course�but why? Would it be the simple jealousy that Ryo kept barely leashed most of the time? It had to be, Dee decided. He had given his former partner everything he had to offer�and Ryo turned it down. If he wanted to be jealous, he could�and the three of them would just have to deal with it. Feeling suddenly very tired, Dee crawled underneath the covers and turned over on his side. His eyes met the picture that JJ kept � apparently the man had flipped it back up. He laid there for hours, staring into unfathomable black eyes that seemed to look right through him � to everything he was and used to be, while surrounded by the satisfying and promising smell of something new that clung to the sheets wrapped all around him.
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Once the door to Rose�s office was shut firmly behind JJ he made a beeline for the bathroom, calmly stepping inside and locking the door before sliding down the wall and pulling his knees to his chest. The adrenaline and sadness warred within him and he didn�t know if he needed to pant or cry.
Eventually�the tears won out. He sat there for a long time, wringing his hands and weeping as quietly as possible. He felt sick � he wanted to run into Rose�s office and take it back. But he couldn�t�and he knew it. He tried to turn his grief into resignation, but found it difficult with what felt like a disturbingly large rock in his throat.
Finally he pulled himself together enough to stand and look in the mirror. He scoffed at his appearance and forced himself to remember the previous night, the memories bringing a begrudging smile to face. He turned on the cold water and splashed his face a few times, feeling some of the burn leave his cheeks.
When he got to his desk, the inatioation was there and he gathered it up before preparing to leave for the day. He was anxious to see Dee�but he had something he had to do first.
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Ryo shifted dejectedly about his apartment. He tried to keep a smile in place, for Bikky, but found it more difficult than he had imagined. They weren�t taking much with them, as the place set up for them was already furnished, so packing wasn�t hard�at least, physically.

It had been hard keeping Bikky in bed all day. It was his last day, and so Ryo told him that any of his friends could come over to say goodbye if they wanted to. Several rough looking kids had come in and out all day, some stayed for an hour or so, some for only a few minutes. Ryo felt bad for moving Bikky away after realizing he had so many friends, but at least they would be there for him when they got back. He could tell Cal wasn�t holding up so well either, but Ryo found it hard to be very sympathetic, having lost any hope of having Dee waiting for him when he returned.
It was late afternoon, and the winter sun began to dim earlier. Carol had gone to the store to pick up some things for Bikky, and Ryo expected her back at any time, so the knock on the door didn�t surprise him. He�d been in the kitchen making tea and he brought the warm mug into the living room with him, setting it down before answering the door.
A tired and worn out looking JJ was not who he expected to see.
Ryo stumbled back a bit, surprised to see the other man. After a moment, resentment overcame shock and he narrowed his eyes and folded his arms over his chest.
�Is there something I can do for you, JJ? I have a sick child and I�m busy right now.�
JJ leaned against the doorframe, frowning. �Are you going to let me in? There are some things we need to get straight.�
Ryo was just about to tell him to go to hell when Bikky came shuffling in the room. �Is that Cal?�
�Go back to bed, Bikky. I�ll send Cal in when she gets here.�
Bikky ignored the order and peered around Ryo at the door, curious. When he caught sight of JJ, he exploded, hurling himself towards the sniper. Luckily, Ryo caught him around the waist, but Bikky fought him, struggling to get free.
�You�re that jackass from the hospital! What�s he doing here, Ryo? Damnit, put me down!�
�Bikky!� Ryo barked, harsher than he meant to. �I�m not putting you down until you promise to behave. You don�t need to be so excited.� He shot JJ a glare. �I don�t know what hdoindoing here either, and I can�t find out if you keep acting like this.�
After much struggling and many swear words, Bikky finally consented to go back to his room, glaring daggers at JJ. When Ryo was sure Bikky was safely behind closed doors, he turned back to his unwelcome guest. He wanted to tell ho leo leave, unable to overcome his own resentment. But JJ had come for a re, an, and Ryo was curious.
�Fine, come on in.�
JJ nodded and stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind him. Ryo remained tense, not wanting to sit while the other man stood. He was taller than JJ and it gave him an odd sense of protection and confidence.
�What is it that you want?�
Whatever JJ lacked in height, he made up for in presence � squaring his shoulders and looking Ryo in the eye. �Going somewhere?� He asked, pointing to the few boxes in the floor.
Ryo looked down at them and debated telling him the truth, part of him hoping that he might inform Dee and then he would have another chance to change things. But he decided against it�he�d already made his decision and it wouldn�t change anything, anyways.
�That�s none of your business� he told him tersely.
JJ folded his arms over his chest, taking a deep breath. �Unpyouryour things�you�re not going anywhere.�
Ryo was a little startled, he hadn�t expected that. �What are you talking about, JJ?�
�I read your letter � the one you never meant for anyone to read. It fell out of your pocket at the hospital. I�I went to Rose. They�re taking me, not you.�
Ryo shot forward, not thinking. He grabbed JJ�s arm, wondering if this was supposed to be a joke. �What?�
JJ ripped his arm away and stepped back. �Get off! And if you touch me again, I�ll rip off arm arm and feed it to you.�
Ryo quirked a brow. JJ was not happy, obviously, but he hadn�t expected the kind of venom that dripped from every one of the sniper�s words. �Why? Why did you do it? You won�I don�t�I don�t understand.�
JJ let out a sigh and leaned against the back of a chair. �Several reasons. I�I saw his face after he left here. I saw how much you hurt him. I was fine with that; I was fine with being the one to help him, heal him. And I would have�just so you know. We would have been happy � without you.� JJ paused and gathered more air, feeling light headed.
�But I read your letter and I knew it would have been a lie. As happy as I was to let you get shipped off, forever for all I care, it would have eaten at me�always wondering if he�d still be with me if he knew how you felt. I can�t live my life always wondering if I�m only second best. He�He�s in love with you. I�m in love with him. I won�t let you haunt me even when you�re not here.�
�JJ��
JJ held a hand up. �Shut. Up.�
Ryo complied, feeling the int emo emotion rolling off of JJ so thickly it was almost tangible. After a moment, JJ continued. �I wanted my chance, and I�ve had it � this is what I choose to do with it. Sempai�s worked hard�and he deserves his chance too.�
Ryo almost wanted to hug him, but thought better of it if he didn�t want to lose a limb. �How did you get Rose to change it? I tried and he wouldn�t budge.�
JJ shrugged. �I�m persuasive. Leave it at that. Besides�you didn�t have to go. He�t m�t make you, you know.�
�Then why � � Ryo started, confused.
�Because,� JJ interrupted, knowing what the other man was going to ask. �If you two are going to�if�after�I just can�t be here to witness it.�
Ryo ignored the warning in his brain, and jumped in, voicing his thoughts. �Don�t you think it�s a little pretentious of you to be making all these decisions without Dee? Don�t you think he would want to make them himself?�
JJ shook his head. �Is it any different than what you did? Making decisions based on what�s best for him? Besides�if he knew�after all that�s happened�what do you think he would do? I *know* what he would do. He might be in love with you, but he�s already made promises to me and Dee doesn�t break his promises. This is the only way.�
He was right, and Ryo knew it. Once Dee made a commitment, he stuck to it � no matter what. He supposed that it was something they both loved about him. With a nod, Ryo let his voice return to its usual soft tone. �I�m�I�m sorry, JJ.� Ryo realized at that moment that he meant it�he was sorry.
JJ glared back at him. �Don�t waste your time being sorry. I won�t be gone forever. That means you have nine months to make him *the* happiest man alive, because I *will* be back, and if he�s not � I won�t be so kind next time.�
Ryo found himself smiling, despite the twisting emotions in his gut. He was confused, and happy, and nervous, and guilty all at the same time, and he didn�t like it one bit. �JJ�Thank you.�
�I didn�t do it for you.� JJ bit out. �Don�t thank me, either. Let me tell you something, McLean. I hate you. I don�t dislike you; you don�t �rub me the wrong way��I fucking *hate* you. I�m better for him than you are and I�ve loved him for longer than you can even imagine. But somehow�someway�you managed to weasel your way into the very core of his heart. I know it�s selfish and that I should look past it. Dee loves you, and that should be enough for me�but it *isn�t*. I won�t say he he *couldn�t* love me the way he loves you�but right now, he *doesn�t*. He�s a good man�the best�and he deserves better than this.�
Ryo tried not to let his feelings get hurt at the harsh words that he knew to be true; but he was a sensitive man and they stung him regardless. Before he could say anything, JJ continued on with his rant.
�I won�t ever stop hating you�so there�s no reason to be nice, or even civil to me because you slip up *once*�and I�m sure you will�so help me god I�ll make sure you never get another chance.�
JJ was fighting tears, and Ryo knew it. They were quiet for a moment, JJ collecting himself and Ryo not wanting to provoke him any further. Finally JJ sniffed and lifted his head up, locking his eyes with Ryo. �This is my last night with him�I�ll expect you to be scarce.�
Ryo had to control his urge to lash out. His emotions were all jumbled up and the jealousy that welled up inside him at the thought of JJ spending the night with Dee was almost too much to bear. He knew he had to play it cool; JJ could change his mind at any time, though Ryo knew he wouldn�t. He hadn�t done it for leverage�no�he�d done it for his own reasons � reasons that Ryo had to admit he understood.
Still, Ryo warred internally over what to do. He didn�t want to think about wasting any more time with Dee, and images of him with JJ caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand up. He thought on it for a long time�and eventually he had to realize that what JJ had done had been huge. He was right about one thing � even if Ryo chose not to go upstate he still would have lost Dee. He had sent him to JJ and the sniper could just as easily have kept him, knowing Dee wouldn�t break his heart. And now that JJ had him�he was letting him go. He had to agree. He hated to do it, but Ryo realized he really didn�t have any other choice. JJ waited for affirmation from Ryo and received it in the form of a curt nod.
He pulled an envelope out of his pocket and handed it over. �Give this to him after I�m gone�please. Remember what I said � I�m not giving up�just giving you a head start.�
�Do you still have my letter?� Ryo asked.
JJ lied �No. I burned it.�
He turned and headed to the door, opening it and stepping one foot out into the hall before Ryo�s voice behind him caused him to still.
�I do love him, you know.�
�A word of advice, McLean.� JJ started, keeping his back to the other man he�d just handed his heart over to. �Give yourself to him�body, mind�soul. Never, ever change him�just *look* at him. *Really* look�and then you *might* know what that word means.�
And with that, he was gone.
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TBC
Okay, people.
Before you swamp me with flames about Ryo being too complacent, let me tell you that he gets to fume in the next chapter.
I know many of you are going to try and find out where I live and bludgeon me due to the meanness to him here, but frankly�if *I* were JJ (and I kind of am�if you think about it), that would be my reaction. It doesn�t make being mean to someone right, but I can understand *why* he says the things he does to him. If you�ll notice�he could have told Ryo about the previous night�and he didn�t.
You�re right that things are going to be stressed between Dee and Ryo, and that comes later. Please keep reading, there is still much to come.
Thanks for the reviews (and the flames).
Love and Kisses,
Reika
- 13
- 14
- 15
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The Time For Change Is Now