Crash

**Please read note at bottom**


------------------------------------
Chapter 15


Shuuichi dozed, waking briefly for a hasty breakfast they pretty much ate on the road. He was restless despite his fatigue, and he could feel the same sense of urgency coming from his lover, as if they were escaping. By the time Yuki decided to stop, Shuuichi practically sprang from the car. He hurried them into the hotel room. \"Yuki? Can I order some ser service? We skipped lunch and I\'m starving.\"

\"Sure, whatever you want.\" Yuki followed him inside, tossing his bag on the floor as he made his way toward the bathroom. His head was aching from the long drive coupled with no sleep, and while Shuuichi was on the phone he discreetly slipped his prescription bottles into his hand.

Shuuichi ordered probably more than he could eat himself, but he was half hoping Yuki would eat as well. Once he was done, he flopped onto one of the beds. He dropped his bag and immediately began ruffling through it, pulling out his notebook.

He\'d thought a lot during the drive, too tired to do anything but not tired enough to actually sleep. He had cried a bit, silently and shortly, hopefully without Yuki\'s notice. Now he began to write, quickly, trembling a little, but he needed to get everything down before he forgot.

Yuki stayed in the bathroom for a while; his throat felt strangely dry, and he gulped down a few glasses of water along with his pills. He felt...restless and achy, the way he always did when he skipped a dosage. Not to mention he was stiff after the drive. At last he came back into the room, and was surprised to find Shuuichi writing. \"What\'s that?\" he asked, pulling himself onto the other bed.

\"Planning,\" he said, a strange, almost fanatical edge to his voice. \"See, it\'s gonna be at least a few more weeks before the casts come of, so I can\'t n stn stage. And it might take even longer for my lungs to get strong enough to handle a concert. But I can record.\" Shuuichi\'s hand flew over the paper, writing down titles of songs or ideas he\'d already started working on. \"I can stop while we\'re recording, take breaks and rest. So I\'m going to make a record--a real record, not a single.\" His eyes blurred, and he wiped the tears quickly away. \"A big record....\"

Yuki watched him for a long moment. \"Don\'t worry about that now,\" he said quietly, tugging his pillow down to his chest as he closed his eyes. \"You should be resting. You\'ll have plenty of time to work later.\"

Shuuichi shook his head. \"No, it\'s okay.\" He smiled--it felt like he hadn\'t smiled in a long time. \"I rested in the car, and the food will be here soon. I just wanted to write this all down.\" He glanced up at Yuki, and the tense expression helped to calm his own excitement. \"Hey…what about you? Are you...okay?\"

\"I\'m fine.\" Yuki ran his fingers through his hair, letting his eyes slip shut as he relaxed into the mattress. \"Just...tired. Really tired.\" He sighed. //But the drugs will kick in soon and then maybe I\'ll finally get some sleep. That…would be good.// \"If I fall asleep, save some food for me.\"

\"I will,\" he promised, returning to his writing. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door, and Shuuichi got up on his crutches quickly to answer. He quy huy hushed the delivery boy and had him set the food on the small table before tipping him and shutting the door. \"Yuki?\" Shuuichi opened the large box of pizza, breathing in the cheese smell. Somehow, he was feeling much better, as if all his tears had left him numb to everything that had happened at his grandparents\' home.

Yuki opened one lazy eye, though...the pizza did smell good. \"Is there any beer in here?\" he asked as he sat up, turning so his legs hung off the bed. He glanced about, finally locating a small refrigerator in the corner. \"Do you want some?\"

Shuuichi shook his head. \"I got some soda pop for me,\" he said, then ducked a bit sheepishly. \"I...probably shouldn\'t drink any of that for a while, anyway....\" He quickly turned his attention to the pizza, separating a cheese-dripping piece from the rest.

\"Oh, right.\" Yuki picked the cheapest looking bottle in the fridge for himself, taking a long gulp before returning. He waited for Shuuichi to select the slices he wanted, then picked a smaller one for himself. He wasn\'t especially hungry, but it seemed like he should be eating. //What happens now? After all that…I don\'t know what to say to him.// He sat back on the bed, toeing out of his shoes and socks.

Shuuichi ate quietly for a few minutes before the silence started to get to him. \"Well, that visit...probably ranked number one on the worst trips to Grandfather\'s list,\" he said lightly. \"Dad always warned me that Grandfather would get crazier the older he got.\" He glanced at Yuki, hoping he wasn\'t treading on ground his lover didn\'t want to discuss. Because...he wanted to move on. He wanted to put as much of what happened behind him as he could.

\"Yeah, I guess so.\" Yuki nibbled on his pizza, not making much progress with it. He snorted lightly. \"And to think it was just starting to feel a little like home.\"

Shuuichi frowned. \"What are you talking about?\" He took an oversized bite, talking around it. \"That wasn\'t like home at all. You can\'t breathe back there--everything just squashes you.\" He nodded to himself firmly, as if that settled it. \"Our home is nice and open. And it\'s never quiet, because you can always hear one of our keyboards.\" He smiled at his words, then gasped as a piece of cheese tried to slip off his slice.

Yuki glanced at him briefly over his pizza, licking sauce from his lips. \"I meant where I grew up,\" he explained, not letting any trace of emotion grace his voice. \"My family\'s temple.\"

\"Oh.\" Shuuichi wasn\'t sure how to reply to that, and instead turned his attention to his pizza. //Well...there\'s only one place I call home now.// He reached for his drink before opening one of the carry-out boxes, finding some almond chicken and rice. He took a few bites, just so the pizza would taste all the better when he returned to it. \"Well,\" he started again, trying to get some kind of conversation going. \"When we get back, I gotta get my hair cut--it\'s starting to get long. And I\'ll have to re-dye it.\"

\"I suppose so.\" Yuki didn\'t say any more than that. He knew Shuuichi needed to fill the space between them, but small-talk at this point was almost painful--there were so many other things they should have been talking about, should have been explaining. Shuuichi hadn\'t even asked about the pills he\'d found yet. Did he even remember? Or the things Yuki had said to his mother? They shouldn\'t have been able to speak normally with all that weighing them down, and he didn\'t have the strength to pretend everything was okay.

Shuuichi deflated a bit, discouraged by Yuki\'s complete lack of...well, everything. He wasn\'t even rolling his eyes. //But...I don\'t want to....// He finished his pizza in silence, closing the box. He got up on one crutch, hopping a bit as he carried it to the small fridge to save for later. Once things were cleaned up a bit, he dropped onto his bed. \"Yuki...?\"

\"Hm?\" Yuki glanced over at him, and realized he hadn\'t even finished the one slice of pizza he\'d taken. He forced himself to take a few more bites, for Shuuichi\'s sake if nothing else, before setting it aside. He did, however, finish off the beer. \"What is it?\"

He looked as his lover through his bangs. \"What...you said before,\" he started, fingers already curling in memory. \"To my mom. I know you didn\'t mean it. I...was too drunk...when you and I talked....\" Shuuichi took a deep breath. //I didn\'t want to do this yet, but...maybe I do.//

Yuki continued to watch him, awaiting more, but when Shuuichi didn\'t continue right away he sighed quietly. \"I know. It\'s all right--I understand. You had a right to be upset.\" He settled his back against the headboard, trying to find a comfortable position if Shuuichi really did want to talk about this.

\"I...never really thought of us that way,\" he went on quietly. \"You never asked about rent, so...I just tried to be helpful, you know? I mean, I figured if you wanted money, you\'d ask, since you\'re not embarrassed or anything about stuff like that.\" Shuuichi ran a hand through his hair, eyes lowering to the carpet.

\"You\'re right. And I don\'t want your money.\" He sank a little lower against the bed. //I probably wouldn\'t even sleep with you if you didn\'t hang all over me all the time. We\'re…not like that at all.// He rubbed lightly at his eyes. \"It\'s better if you just focus on your music.\"

Shuuichi nodded. \"I know...I can\'t really help you money-wise anyway. I…do have loans from college to pay off.\" The admission hurt more than he would have liked, but it needed to be said. \"I don\'t know if any of them told you, but...one of Grandfather\'s favorite lines is to point out that I...didn\'t finish school. That I was wasting his money.\" He straightened a bit. Somehow, confessing all this was making the knot in his chest loosen. \"Well, I never took anything from him, or from Dad. I might owe other people, but I...wanted to do it on my own. I want to make it on my own.\"

\"Everyone does.\" That was what Yuki had wanted all along; to get out on his own, to fight for himself--to live on his own. He wasn\'t sure yet if he\'d succeeded. \"And you are.\" His lips curled slighat tat their edges. \"If you want, you can always pretend you married into a wealthy family.\"

Shuuichi\'s jaw dropped, staring at Yuki as if he\'d just said something completely unbelievable--like that he was going to write for children\'s books or something. He flushed darkly and quickly tried to hide a sudden smile. //Like I\'d married....// Licking his lips, Shuuichi tried to remember what he\'d been saying. \"Um...um, yeah. Like I\'d....\" He shook his head. \"Anyway, I...just wanted you to know that. So you don\'t think that...I haven\'t tried. That I\'m not a moocher.\"

Yuki scoffed lightly. \"You barged into my house, threw your stuff everywhere, talked my ears off, scared off my fiancé and crawled into my bed. I think money was the last thing on my mind.\" He sighed. \"There are more important things.\"

Again, Shuuichi felt his face heat, even as he knew Yuki couldn\'t have meant *that.* \"Well...I wanted you more than she did,\" he pouted, though nothing could erase the smile threatening his face. \"You know,\" he said, fumbling after something else to say. \"Um....\" //I don\'t know what to say. He....//

Yuki continued to sag until he was fully on his back, rubbing at his stomach. //All right…the drugs are working.// Sleep would feel so good right about now. \"Yeah?\"

He giggled softly. \"I don\'t know,\" he admitted softly. \"I...forgot.\" Shuuichi watched Yuki\'s movements a moment, then pushed to his feet. He went to the door, locking it securely, before drawing the shades over the window. The semi-darkness was soothing as he returned to the beds. Unable to resist, Shuuichi bent down to touch a soft kiss to Yuki\'s lips. \"I guess it\'s nap time,\" he murmured.

Yuki inhaled sly aly at the gentle touch, as if Shuuichi\'s lips had been chilled. It made him realize how tense he really was, despite their idle banter. \"Shuuichi....\" He closed his eyes once more, reaching up to draw his fingertips over the boy\'s cheek.

Taking that as an invitation to stay, Shuuichi slowly lowered himself to sit next to his lover. Up close, he could see the tension in Yuki\'s face and neck. He set a hand gently on the other\'s chest as he leaned in for another slow kiss. \"We\'re okay...right?\" he asked softly. \"You and me....\"

//I don\'t know.// Yuki tilted his chin back invitingly as Shuuichi\'s lips fell again over his. //You will be.// \"You\'re coming home with me, aren\'t you?\"

He smiled. \"Yeah....\" Shuuichi kissed him again, just because Yuki was letting him. His hand moved gently over his lover\'s chest, hoping to help ease the tension in his muscles. //Everything will be okay, Yuki. I\'ll make sure of it. I won\'t step back for anything.// Sighing happily, Shuuichi leaned back slightly.

Yuki craned his neck back a little, as if trying to draw Shuuichi back in, but he quickly caught himself. \"You should get some sleep,\" he murmured, reaching up to urge Shuuichi away. \"We both need it.\"

\"I\'m fine,\" he assured. \"I...did sleest nst night. And in the car, a bit.\" Shuuichi sighed, though, deciding that Yuki would probably want some peace. \"But okay--I\'ll rest.\" He kissed him again, shivering faintly. \"If you want anything, let me know.\" Shuuichi pushed back to his feet and swung over to his bed, flopping onto his back. //At least we\'re away from there. Everything will get better now.//

\"All right.\" Feeling a little colder now that Shuuichi had left Yuki slipped beneath the blankets without bothering to change his clothes. Though he was anticipating a good night\'s sleep for once, he still felt...restless. Like he was waiting for Shuuichi to ask more of him. He rolled onto his stomach. \"Goodnight, Shuuichi.\"

\"G\'night,\" he replied, closing his eyes. //Rest well, Yuki.// Smiling, Shuuichi relaxed back into the stiff mattress, finding he was more exhausted than he had admitted before.

---

The next morning Yuki and Shuuichi set out once again for Tokyo. It was a long drive--they hadn\'t really made good time the day before--so when they finally reached their apartment it was already evening. They hadn\'t spoken too much on the way home. Though Yuki was feeling much better after a full night\'s sleep, not to mention the return of his prescriptions, he was still worried that Shuuichi might bring up subjects he wasn\'t ready for. But Shuuichi chattered on as usual, and didn\'t press any of the matters from their visit.

\"Home sweet home.\" Yuki flicked the lights on, leaving most of his things by the door as he stepped inside and allowed Shuuichi to pass him. \"There probably isn\'t any food here, so if you\'re hungry we\'ll have to order out.\"

\"It\'s okay,\" he replied, making for the couch. \"Those snacks we got filled me up good, so I\'ll be fine.\" Shuuichi took in a deep breath, savoring the scent of their shared home. //Home....// He smiled over his shoulder.

Yuki smiled back, somewhat halfheartedly, as he closed the door behind them and then followed Shuuichi further inside. His head was beginning to ache again; he really wasn\'t any good with traveling anymore. With a sigh he flopped down on the sofa and leaned his head back, getting used to the feeling of being stationary again.

Shuuichi immediately dropped down beside him, watching his lover\'s face as his smile faded a bit. \"Yuki.\" He reached out, brushing his fingers hesitantly over the blonde’s forehead. \"Can we...talk? For a bit.\"

//Here it comes at last.// But it wouldn\'t do any good to dissuade him, and Yuki nodded faintly. He turned his head against Shuuichi\'s fingers. \"Sure.\"

Shuuichi wiggled closer. //He...already knows what I\'m going to ask.// \"Your pills...\" he whispered, frowning as Yuki barely flinched. \"You need them...because of what happened with...the other Yuki, right?\" //Anti-depressants...and sleeping pills.// He continued to move his fingers gently.

\"Yeah.\" Even though he\'d prepared for this, he couldn\'t help that his mouth was suddenly dry. That he was...leaning closer, a little. \"Sorry I never told you.\"

\"No, it\'s fine,\" he replied. Shuuichi spread his fingers over Yuki\'s temples. \"I know...it\'s painful for you.\" He smiled faintly. \"I never told you about my crazy family, right? My mom...who doesn\'t even visit her kid in the hospital....\" Shuuichi shifted, watching Yuki\'s quiet face. //I know, Yuki, so....//

//It\'s not like that. Not at all, but….// Yuki was still slipping, and before he realized it his head was pillowed against Shuuichi\'s shoulder, his face turning into his neck. \"I\'m sorry I said those things to your mother,\" he said quietly.

Shuuichi shook his head just slightly, arm resting across Yuki\'s shoulders. \"It\'s fine. I know...you were trying to help me. Trying to keep her from bothering me.\" //Yuki....// His free hand sought out his lover\'s, palm against his knuckles, gently twining their fingers and laying them on his thigh. He smiled suddenly. \"You told her nothing could change my mind about you, right? Well, that wasn\'t a lie.\" Shuuichi kiss his hair. \"I still love you.\"

Yuki felt a tiny shudder run through him with those words, as if they had stolen the last of his strength. \"I still don\'t understand,\" he admitted quietly, \"why that is.\"

\"Because I do,\" he said, almost playfully. Shuuichi laid his head against the author\'s, squeezing his hand. //I just love you, love you until it makes everything, my whole body, shiver.// He took a deep breath, just to feel it tremble out of him. \"I love you…because, maybe…we need each other.\" His lips curled. \"Yeah…. Maybe that\'s why. I need you…and you need me.\"

\"Yeah. Maybe....\" Yuki shivered again, trying to draw closer. There were times like this when he...broke, just a little. When he was alone...when he was with…. //I don\'t want it to be him anymore.// He pulled Shuuichi abruptly closer, his shoulders hunching. //If I have to break....// He would only need a moment. Just...a little time, while he shattered for a moment.

Shuuichi turned, just a bit, as if to allow Yuki closer. //It\'s okay, Yuki. I love you, so it\'s okay.// He closed his eyes and leaned faintly into his lover. \"It\'s okay,\" he murmured, barely audible. His eyes were beginning to sting as well, but he wouldn\'t let Yuki know. \"It\'s okay, Yuki.... We\'re okay....\"

Yuki shook as he surrendered a single, choked sob against Shuuichi\'s shoulder. It was more than he usually allowed, and it surprised him into allowing a few tears free as well. He kept his face hidden so Shuuichi wouldn\'t see. //It just…hurts so much, sometimes. And I can\'t…I don\'t know what to do....//

\"It\'s okay,\" Shuuichi repeated, as if nothing had changed. He let Yuki\'s hand go, gently touching his lover\'s shoulder, his back. His own tears were silent as he continued to whisper comforts, holding Yuki lightly to him. His lover\'s pain echoed through his own chest, and he swallowed it down as best he could.

Yuki stayed that way for a few minutes, tense and shivering against Shuuichi\'s shoulder, until he finally began to call himself under control once more. He still felt raw, but Shuuichi\'s hands were gentle, and he hesitated before pulling back. \"I\'m all right,\" he murmured, scraping his face against his sleeve. \"It\'s just hard, sometimes.\"

Shuuichi nodded. \"I\'ve cried enough on your shoulder to know,\" he replied just as quietly. Shuuichi pulled a napkin leftover from their lunch from his pocket, offering it to his lover. \"I don\'t mind, if you need to let go sometimes.\" //Because you need me.// Reaching back, Shuuichi found a small pillow and set it on his lap. \"Do you...wanna lay down for a bit? Just to relax.\"

Yuki glanced down at the pillow, ignoring the offered napkin. \"All right....\" He always felt weird after crying, so drained, and it wouldn\'t be so bad to just lie down. He stretched out, setting his head in Shuuichi\'s lap as he rolled onto his side. He sighed. \"Sorry.\"

He chuckled softly, running his fingers through Yuki\'s hair as he set the napkin aside. \"No need to apologize,\" he said, quietly but lightly. \"I think I\'m just gonna rest for a while here anyway, so you can, too.\" Shuuichi smiled down at his lover, strangely pleased even as he swiped at his own eyes. After a moment of silence, he began to hum very softly--one of his unfinished tunes he\'d been working on for a long time.

Yuki closed his eyes, letting the sound of Shuuichi\'s voice calm him. He wanted ty moy more. It was so unusual for him, to want to talk about anything like this, but with Shuuichi.... \"Tohma was there,\" he heard himself say, very quietly. \"When I did it. You\'ve wondered, haven\'t you? About why he cares so much....\"

Shuuichi\'s humming paused a moment, surprised by Yuki\'s voice--he\'d expected silence. His fingers continued to move, though, smoothing back his lover\'s hair. \"I did,\" he confessed softly. \"A little. He...seems a little more protective than I\'d think a brother-in-law would be.\" He stopped talking, wondering if Yuki would say more, suddenly hoping he would.

\"He thinks he understands.\" Yuki wasn\'t sure why he was continuing, but he couldn\'t stop it now. Maybe it was best if he didn\'t try to stop himself this time. \"If only because...I trusted him, afterwards. I couldn\'t talk about it to anyone else. But now….\" He sighed thickly. \"But having him look after me only makes me remember. I don\'t think he understands that.\"

Shuuichi nodded--it made sense, and he felt the same way, sometimes, about.... \"It probably doesn\'t help...me working for him, I mean. You\'re seeing him more because of me.\" He set his left hand on Yuki\'s shoulder--it was getting tired--and replaced it with his other.

Yuki snorted quietly. \"He\'s married to my sister. I\'d see plenty of him regardless. Though even that….\" Yuki trailed off--Shuuichi didn\'t need to know any more on that subject. His fingers curled against the sofa. \"Anyway, I don\'t know why I said all that.\"

\"Because you needed to,\" he replied, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. \"I don\'t mind. Like I said before, I\'m always crying on you and whatever, so I understand.\" Bending forward, Shuuichi just managed to kiss Yuki\'s temple.

Yuki considered those words for a moment. //If I have to have someone....// He tried to wriggle closer. //I don\'t want it to be Tohma anymore. I want....// \"I\'m tired. I think...I\'ll sleep, if you don\'t mind.\"

Shuuichi smiled. \"Of course not. You\'re keeping me warm.\" He giggled softly, leaning back into the couch as his fingers continued to skate through thin hair. \"Would you...mind if I hummed some more?\" he asked.

\"Sure.\" Yuki sighed as he settled himself more comfortably. \"Go ahead...it\'s not one of your regular songs, is it?\"

\"No, it\'s not finished yet.\" He closed his eyes, hands moving by feel alone now. \"I haven\'t been able to get the lyrics right yet, but...I really like the melody. I know I\'ll find the words eventually.\" ing ing his back just a bit to get more comfortable, Shuuichi began to hum again, a slow, somewhat melancholy song, but he gave the notes a light edge to them. //This...maybe it will be his song,// Shuuichi thought to himself. //Once I find the right lyrics....//

Yuki listened for a while, as if realizing for the first time that...Shuuichi created that melody. That it was no one\'s but his. He smiled faintly against the pillow. \"It\'s good.\"

Shuuichi managed not to stop, though he was practically glowing from the praise. The tempo unwillingly sped up, just a bit, and somehow it gave the melody a whole new angle--like hope. //It is his song,// Shuuichi realized, and his fingers curled for a moment. //This...is my song for Yuki.//

//At l he\ he\'s happy.// Yuki stayed awake for as long as he could, just to hear more of that melody, but by now he was too comfortable. \"Shuu….\" He curled up a little tighter, like a child, as he found himself drawn gradually into a deep slumber.

Shuuichi continued to hum, even after he finally realized his lover was asleep. He wandered through several melodies, though he always came back to that one. He watched the sun vanish behind the neighboring buildings, watched the light fade from the room. It was almost amusing that he didn\'t get antsy, sitting there for so long, but he was content and warm, and Yuki was with him. As the room turned shades of blue and purple shadows, his eyelids slipped shut as he fell into a light doze.

---

Yuki was almost as relieved as Shuuichi when his casts were finally removed three weeks lateringsings had gone better since the trip to Shuuichi\'s parents. They hadn\'t talked too much about the events that had taken place there, or of Yuki\'s small confessions afterwards. He liked it that way; it allowed things to go to back to almost normality, for a time.

And now, he was all but dragging Shuuichi into their apartment, already tossing his coat aside. He...was anxious. //It\'s been so long. Too long….//

Shuuichi giggled at his lover’s obvious excitement, and he tried not to stumble. He was eternally grateful to have the casts off, at last, but he didn\'t like that his left leg was still so weak that he needed the crutches yet. \"You\'re gonna pull me over,\" he protested lightly, kicking the door closed and locking it. //At least my lungs are getting better. Maybe not to full strength yet, but getting there.//

\"Deal with it.\" Yuki pulled the boy against him abruptly, sealing their lips in a firm, almost desperate kiss. //I am so going to fuck him.// Flushing a little, he stepped back, trusting Shuuichi to follow. \"Come on.\"

It took a moment for Shuuichi to pull himself out of his shock to do so, eyes wide in surprise at his lover\'s hard affection. //Guess...he\'s really in the mood.// He trailed behind Yuki towards the living room. //Well, he has been really uptight lately, even if he never wanted me to...\"help\" him.// Shuuichi licked his lips as he slipped into the room. \"Yuki?\"

Yuki tugged Shuuichi up to him again, his lips demanding of the boy\'s smaller mouth as he pulled tow toward the sofa. It was wide enoughShuuShuuichi….\" //Why do I suddenly…want this so badly?// He couldn\'t remember being this anxious for sex before, but just the feeling of Shuuichi\'s feet bumping against him made him shiver a little.

Shuuichi yelped as he suddenly felt the couch at his calves and dropped down, trying to keep his crutches from just falling away. He flushed at the look on Yuki\'s face. //I don\'t think...I\'ve ever seen him this excited before....// Quickly placing the crutches on the floor, he scooted back onto the cushions, pulling his brace-covered leg up with him.

//Six weeks.// It was all Yuki could think as he dropped to the sofa as well, crawling up Shuuichi\'s body to rest between his thighs. //Six damn weeks.// He\'d gone for longer without even taking a lover, but Shuuichi…was different somehow, and now it was all he could do to keep from flipping the boy over right then. \"You all right?\" he asked quietly as he bent in for another kiss.

Sinking, Shuuichi only hummed his affirmative reply, losing himself all too quickly in Yuki\'s hot lips. His surprise at his lover\'s unusual question was easily overlooked when compared to the feel of Yuki\'s legs against him--it had been too long. He pulled his good right leg higher, pressing against Yuki\'s hip.

//Thank God.// Yuki sighed quietly against him, shivering a little as he continued to suck at Shuuichi\'s lips. //For a while I st tst thought…we\'d never be able to do this again.// It was a sobering idea, and it softened his affections a little as he began to peel Shuuichi\'s tank top off.

Shuuichi lifted his arms obediently. //He really is in a good mood.// He blinked up at Yuki with a smile, enjoying the weight and the heat of another body over his, and he arched his back faintly to get closer to it. //Yuki....// With a bit of concentration, he managed to bend his other knee as well, holding Yuki against him with a sigh.

Though Yuki had always been the one to take charge during times like these, there was something humbling about Shuuichi\'s frailty; he was still healing. It coaxed an almost tenderness into Yuki\'s kisses as he reached down, running his hand along Shuuichi\'s thigh and knee.

//Yuki is...taking care of me.// Shuuichi moaned quietly, encouraging--it felt so unbelievably good, having Yuki\'s hands on his skin. His own fingers spread faintly through soft blond hair, plaintively seeking more kisses, more touches. \"Yuki...feels good....\"

\"Shuuichi....\" Yuki had a sudden idea, and he slipped further down the sofa, until he was rising up on his knees. He reached down with both hands to rub at Shuuichi\'s left calf, massaging the long-unused muscle.

Though at first puzzled by Yuki\'s retreat, as soon as he felt those strong hands on him he couldn\'t keep in a thick groan. \"God, that....\" His head fell to the side, leg shifting closer. \"Mmm...Yuki, that\'s good....\" Shuuichi\'s fingers curled in the cushions, not having anything else to hold on to.

\"It must have been really hard,\" Yuki murmured thoughtfully, drawing his nails lightver ver Shuuichi\'s skin. His legs felt unnaturally thin in his hands, and were still a little discolored. Slowly he worked his way up to Shuuichi\'s thigh.

He nodded eagerly, lips slowly parting to allow him more breath. \"I just....\" //It feels really good--like I haven\'t been touched for months....// He glanced up. //I...want him.// \"Yuki....\" Shuuichi raised his handoldiolding them out hopefully. //Please? I want you....//

Yuki licked at the insides of his lips. //I know. I know….// \"How far can you bend them?\" he asked, urging Shuuichi\'s knees higher and further apart, just to test.

He watched, waiting, though Yuki wasn\'t able to move his left leg far before he gasped quietly, wincing. \"Can\'t....\" //No, but...I want him. Yuki....// Shuuichi met his lover\'s eyes, seeing the faint disappointment even as Yuki tried to hide it. \"I...can turn over,\" he offered softly, almost hopefully. \"That should be okay.\"

\"All right.\" Yuki backed off, waiting until Shuuichi had rolled onto his stomach and settled himself. Then he was reaching up, slowly dragging Shuuichi\'s shorts down his thighs.

Shuuichi sighed quietly, closing his eyes for a moment. //It\'s...been so long since we\'ve done this; I hope I\'m...ready.// His cheeks reddened. He onlyonly a bit worried over what they were about to do, since it had been a while, but he knew how much Yuki wanted this--how much they both wanted this. \"Yuki....\" His hands rose to either of of his head, curling against the cushions.

---------------------------------------

**There was originally another chapter or so after this one, but my harddrive broke down a while back and I lost the new stuff--it was lucky I had even this much. -_- My co-writer and I had by then moved on to other stories, and coming back to redo one sex scene seemed a little much. So, I\'m sorry to everyone who has read this far, and especially for the one who have been waiting and encouraging us to continue, but the fic stops here. Thanks for reading--we\'ll leave the last scene up to your imaginations.**

--Shuukitty--
>^.^<