Nightshift

Nightshift
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The color of the ceiling and walls perfectly matched the uniform he was issued but it was a soft, clean white that Shinji disliked. It wasn’t so much the color that he didn’t like but what it was usually associated with.

For one, the eggshell white walls of the room reminded him exactly where he was.

He was trapped inside a hospital for the mentally disabled and the windowless, plain room was enough proof of that. It was in this room that he sat or laid down for countless hours without anything to do.

The pilot of the greatest biomechanical weapon known to man was locked inside a room because he was believed to be insane but the funny thing about it was that he didn’t care anymore.

Although he spent much of the day with apathy, there was one event on his prearranged schedule that he took a limited amount of interest in.

It was a game, but a complex game it was.

Neither of the two players spoke as they sat at the bolted down table that was placed in the middle of the room. The uncomfortable chairs they sat in didn’t make the experience any better but that was of little concern as they stared at the board between them.

Shinji thought for a moment before placing his hand on a knight. Picking it up, he knocked down a bishop and placed his piece on the colored square it once occupied, “Don’t you ever get tired of coming here Father?”

His opponent, Gendo Ikari, spared his son no words. Instead, the older man made his move.

Shrugging off the lack of an answer, Shinji pushed his queen a space to the right, “Checkmate.”

Gendo adjusted his glasses before he took his son’s queen with his own, “Checkmate.”

Shinji accepted another defeat with a mild expression, “Oh well, at least you were only three moves ahead of me this time.”

The former commander got out of the chair that was also bolted down to the floor, “You could win if you had the desire to.”

His son sighed as he started collecting the pieces to put them inside the box they belong in, “Probably…”

Looking up at his father, Shinji couldn’t help but notice the empty sleeve of his coat again. Of course, Gendo was never one to admit weakness in any shape or form. Even though that was obvious, the reason why his arm was missing was still unclear and Shinji suspected that it wasn’t just an injury he received in the attack. Knowing his father, it was likely to have a more profound reason but knew he was never really going to know.

He could barely remember the events that took place seeing that everything seemed to just flash past him but there were things he would never forget. For example, the unusual and disturbingly happy face of Rei was the last thing he could recall before he woke up, strapped to a bed with people looking down at him.

Overlooking the past, Shinji couldn’t say he was glad that the only visitor he got was also the man that caused him so many problems but he didn’t at all mind the company.

“Farewell.” The low voice of his father released Shinji from his musings as the older man turned towards the door.

“Father…”

The man stopped walking but didn’t turn around as he waited for his son to continue.

“Thanks for coming.”

Gendo nodded before knocking on the door. Immediately, the door was opened and his monthly visitor was gone.

Just like that, his entertainment was gone. He wasn’t allowed a television or radio. He didn’t have access to books, writing was out of the question, and drawing was impossible.

The only reason the chess board was in here was simply because of his father’s influence which was sad in itself considering that the young man didn’t even like the game that much.

A game was supposed to be something you played to have fun and, while it did help the day go by just that much faster, fun was something Shinji went without for a long time. With the sound of the locking door marking his return to the rest of the uneventful day, Shinji looked up in thought at the ceiling of the spotless room.

“Nothing to do…” Shinji voiced, if only to shake himself free of the hope that something different would occur.

Alas, he knew exactly was going to happen in the next few minutes and could virtually picture it in his mind. He sighed as he got up from the chair and headed towards the bed. In a few minutes, he would get a knock on the door as a signal and…

“I’m coming in Zero.”

The gentle voice of the nurse pierced his thoughts like an arrow and he sat up in the bed as the door slowly opened for her.

“How are you feeling today?” She asked, her gentle voice betraying what he believed to be her true nature.

Describing her voice was difficult for Shinji. It was low but not a low enough tone to be mistaken for a man but she never raised her voice at all. While it could be mistaken for a reassuring tone, to him, it was just the opposite.

The woman herself was even harder to describe than her voice.

A nurse’s uniform was fairly simple. It consisted of merely a white button-up dress accompanied by white shoes. However, the tight fitting dress left little to the imagination and probably didn’t even meet the proper length requirements. Shinji would easily admit that she wasn’t bad to look at but, because of her dark red hair, he never completely knew how her face looked.

She had a nice skin complexion and the slight smile that ordained her face at least made it easier to talk to her but he didn’t even know what color her eyes were. That was probably the reason why he knew her voice so well.

“Why do you ask that every time you come?” He didn’t pose the question with any intended malice as he laid back down, it was just a point of interest, “It’s not like you care…”

The only similarity between the nurse and the patient besides their need of a haircut was the apathy they seemed share about their meetings. Again that slight grin he was so used to seeing appeared on her face, “Do you want me to care?”

Shinji sighed again, “Is it really that hard to normally answer a question?”

“Zero, you of all people should know that I respond this way for a reason. If I answered every question you posed then I wouldn’t be able to gauge psyche.”

“You’re saying it like you are grading me for a test and…” The former pilot turned his attention to the nurse beside him, “Will you ever stop calling me that?”

“You know that’s against the rules… Zero.” She said smoothly, taking delight in saying his allocated number, “An S-rank. You have been placed in solitary confinement. You cannot interact with other patients, we have the right to suspend any visitors depending on your actions, your caretaker is not permitted to be on a first name basis with you, you are not permitted to have a television, you-“

“Thanks for reminding me…” Shinji said dryly as the nurse assigned to him continued to smile.

“Well, I think we could make a deal if you are willing to volunteer some information.” The woman sat her notes the table and moved closer to the side of the bed, “Tell me why you are here.”

“Why?” He replied almost instantly, caught off guard by a request from her. His desire for something different granted in a way he wished it wasn’t.

“Besides the data we’ve collected from your stay here, we don’t much about you. As a matter of fact, the only thing I definitely know is your name.”

“I’ve been here this long and you just decide to ask me stuff I probably would have told you a long time ago?”

She smirked, “Yeah.”

Shinji laid back down and looked at the ceiling, “I don’t care… Keep calling me whatever you want to.”

“My name is Chikaru.”

He blinked and turned back to the nurse. It was common for her to bother him with those dumb questions she asked with each visit but this never happened before. Between the woman and the patient she was responsible for was a wall of confidentiality and she just took a brick out of it for the first time.

The way she volunteered a piece of personal information despite being against the rules was strange to say the least but what stunned him were the eyes that peered at him from behind the long strains of ruby red hair.

“I’m twenty-two, married, and my hobby is fixing electronics.” She said, continuing the stream of information that started with her name.

Chikaru noticed his line of sight and parted her hair with her hand causing Shinji’s mouth to drop open in shock.

She was stunning. In a twisted way, Shinji always imagined that she would be hiding a scar or burn under her hair but the only thing that came to his immediate attention was the fact that her eyes were different colors. Even though one was a pale red with the other being a color closer to that of her hair, he could still see the slack look in them both.

“I’m not embarrassed or anything. I just don’t feel like having people stare.” She moved her hand and her hair fell back down, masking most of face with the action, “You were curious?”

He made no reply but she nodded regardless, “Best looking woman you’ve seen in a while huh?” She said with a familiar smile, one that mocked him countless times.

Facing the smiling nurse, he found that he did have something to say to her, “You’re just doing this because you got bored. You probably just got tired of the one or two questions you have to ask me so now you are going for practical jokes to get your laughs for the day…”

“What if I am?”

“Why do you ask questions that you know I won’t answer?”

“Do you think I want you to answer them? What if I just wanted to give you something to think about?” Chikaru chuckled when Shinji buried his face in his palm and started to shake his head. She watched him wallow in his frustration as she spoke, “So how about your introduction Zero?”

If he wanted to he could just turn around and go to sleep and, now that he thought about it, it didn’t sound like a bad idea.

“Too bad…” Again, her soft voice interrupted his thoughts, “I wanted to get to know you better.”

“That really makes me happy.” Shinji said sarcastically before laying back down, “I’m glad you have my health in mind.”

“Honesty,” Chikaru stared down at the patient under her care as the guards came into the room to remove the chess board, “Were you always a jerk?” She asked as she looked away from the clipboard she held.

Shinji shifted to get comfortable but only succeeded in becoming more irritable because of the lack of a pillow, “Like I’m going to answer that…”

“The other girls said you used to be really shy.” The door closed again as the guards left the room and she walked towards the bolted down table in the middle of the room. The nurse placed the clipboard on the table before she took a seat in one of the uncomfortable chairs, “I heard your old caretaker left because she couldn’t stand seeing a kid like you with an S-rank.”

The former pilot rolled on his side, turning his back to her, “Don’t worry, I already know the truth.” Shinji whispered as he remembered the old lady that used to tend to him.

“You noticed?” His present caretaker stared at his back, “Didn’t think you were the sharpest knife on the table if you know what I mean. More like a butter knife if I have to make a call on-“

“Shut up.” Shinji said coldly, cutting her off in the process, “She broke some rules like you just did.”

If he ever regretted anything during his stay here, it was making that kind woman lose her job just because she tried to make him feel accepted. If he knew that having a mundane conversation or two with her would have got her fired then he would have just ignored her.

Chikaru smiled as she picked up on how he felt, “I can see the cute side coming out now. You’re scared I’m going to lose my job for the same reason she did?”

“Actually, I don’t care.”

She shrugged, continuing on despite his denial, “You need to have more faith in me than that. I just figured I’d get to know you a bit while I had the chance seeing that the system is down for a few days.” The nurse pointed up at the camera mounted in the corner for further reference.

Shinji looked over his shoulder at her, “No wonder… That’s the reason more guards are outside the door?”

“I guess you are pretty sharp. So… anything you want to share before I call in for your medicine?”

“Well…” Shinji cracked a sly smile as he looked at her, “I hate you, your jokes are stupid, and I think I really do hope you get fired.”

Chikaru smiled back at him, “It’s a shame that you don’t know how to talk to a lady. I was thinking about sharing something you might want to know.”

“Is that so?” He said as he turned his attention back to the ceiling of the room, “Do you really think I care?”

“What if I wanted to get you dropped to A-rank?”

“Call for the medicine,” Shinji rubbed his hand down his face before covering his mouth to stifle a yawn, “I’m already getting kind of-“

“What if I said I like you?”

“What if I knew you were lying? You know, probably because you are married?” Shinji shot back, using what she said against her as he suddenly became angry. Two years of the same stuff and, the one time it was something really different, it was her stupid jokes compounded by the questions on the checklist that he knew she was going to ask. He was starting to feel stupid for actually expecting something other than her usual bullshit, “Call for whatever you want… Just hurry up and leave me alone.”

No reply.

The patient, expecting one of her retorts anytime now, turned to look at the woman that took care of him. Unable to see her eyes because of her long locks of hair, he noticed that this was the first time he ever seen her without that wry smile that he hated so much.

Chikaru didn’t say anything as she turned to the checklist on the clipboard and picked up the pen connected to it. With Shinji quietly observing, she went down the list checking what she wanted until she promptly stood up and started towards the door.

While the thought seemed so foreign, he couldn’t dismiss the thought that he hurt her feelings. Shinji certainly wasn’t one to tolerate her crooked jokes but that didn’t at all mean that he wanted to hurt her feelings even if he wasn’t happy to see her.

“W-Wait…” Shinji called out before swinging his legs to the side of the bed and standing up.

She didn’t stop and continued to walk towards the door without bothering to listen to him.

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings…” He admitted, bringing her to a halt before she could knock on the door, “I-“

“Forget it Zero,” She said carefully, stressing the name he was designated with, “I’ll leave like you wanted me to.”

“Look,” Confused just as much as he was angry, Shinji stepped forward, “You come in here with all that talk and now you suddenly get mad at me for no reason. At least tell me why.”

“You really are a bastard,” She whispered, her feelings obviously hurt despite his best efforts. Leaving him even more confused than before, she knocked on the door to announce that she was about to leave the room and that they could bring the medicine inside for him.

For the second time a pang of regret hit him directly in the barrier that was his apathy but it vanished as the guards solemnly entered the room, one of them holding a tray with two small capsules and a glass of water.

Not feeling like being restrained today, Shinji wasted no time grabbing the pills and downing them with a cup of water but his mind was still on the woman who was probably already leaving the block he was assigned to.

Wondering if he somehow managed to cross a line she didn’t want him to, the only S-rank patient placed the plastic cup back on the tray and turned around to head back to the bed.

With her dense questions and his snide remarks, they went back and forth making fun of each other for at least two years but this was the first time she ever seemed so sad. Attempting to take another perspective on it as he laid down, he briefly wondered if it wasn’t his words that bothered her but instead something else such as the life she had outside the hospital.

Shinji fell back on the bed with hopes of pushing the image of the nurse crying as she walked down the halls out of his mind but they lingered there regardless…

Of course, she wasn’t the kindest person in the world but he didn’t at all hate her despite what he said. With another sigh, he decided he wouldn’t dwell on it.

“It’s not like I really care…”

~*~

The only benefit in being the sole S-ranked patient was the fact that he was permitted to basically have the entire bathroom to himself. Just like the room, everything was a dismal white but the feeling of having the showerhead spray water over his body more than made up for the color of the room.

While this would normally be the one time he wasn’t being monitored, three guards were following him. Two stationed outside the door with one observing him from the corner of the room.

As the rubbed the soap across his body, he remembered that he disliked the guards if only to give him something to think about as he took his shower. The army fatigues they were dressed in reminded him too much of the soldiers he slaughtered during the attack on NERV but his aversion to them probably arose from the fact that they were more stolid than the Section Two agents.

They never talked but they always had a look in their eyes that told him that they considered him a threat. Even now the unarmed guard behind him was probably staring at him, constantly ready to take him down if necessary. With that in mind, it was no wonder that he never tried to spark a conversation with any of them but if it was that crazy nurse then she would probably be making up some wisecracks at the thought of him being naked in the same room with her.

Shinji turned off the faucet and hung the soap on the hook under the showerhead.

It was too early in the morning to be thinking of her but he found himself doing it anyway as he toweled off. Aside from making her upset, the things she brought up yesterday made him remember a lot of things he tried to forget but to no avail.

From the kind, old lady that honestly told him that she felt it was wrong that he was locked in this place for no reason to knowing perfectly well why he was here and from his father to the woman who presently took care of him, he thought of about all of it.

It wasn’t like this was the first time he ever thought about it but, surprisingly, he never bothered to really put his mind to it. The fact that he didn’t know why he was supposedly the most dangerous person here or that he didn’t know why his father really came to visit jarred him enough to make him pull the memories out of the vault he kept them in.

As he put on the stark white uniform that was issued to him, he found it ironic that it was perhaps the mental hospital that was making him lose his grasp on things. While the idea that he was going crazy because of the place was an amusing one, the accusation that he was a bastard was not.

With the guards flanking him, he made his way back to his room and saw the very woman that insulted him waiting in front of the door. Chikaru calmly stood in the hallway as one of the men unlocked the door for her and she followed Shinji as he walked inside.

“How are you feeling today?” The door closed behind them as she asked the question and Shinji walked to the bed without even so much as acknowledging her presence. Unfazed, she took a seat in one of the chairs and placed her clipboard in her lap, “I… I apolo-“

“It’s your marriage right?” He inquired, cutting her off before she said something he didn’t want to hear.

Chikaru blinked as she turned to him, her different color eyes peeking at him through her dark red locks of hair. Despite his designation, she knew long ago that he wasn’t actually insane in any sense of the word but she never knew that he was so quick to see through things. Found out, she had no choice left but to give a slow nod, “Yeah…”

Shinji looked up at her and realized that it was just as he thought. It was too convincing to be another one of her lame jokes and the way she acted yesterday did make him worry about her a bit even if he would never admit it. Knowing that it was only one way he could make her feel better, he suppressed the urge to just let her deal with her own problems and opened his mouth, “My name is Shinji. I’m eighteen… I think.”

Clearing his throat, he continued as his nurse looked up at him in barely contained shock, “Um, I’m not married or anything like that and I liked playing my cello.”

More bricks fell from the wall.

Her spirits somewhat lifted, the young woman smiled at him, “So your cute side is coming out to play again?”

Shinji blushed and Chikaru fought to keep from laughing, “Figures that you’d laugh at me after I try to help you.”

She shook her head before standing up and walking in his direction. For the first time ever, she was less than five feet away from him and took a seat on the end of the bed. Almost automatically, Shinji slid away from her to keep more space between them and that fact did not go unnoticed by his caretaker but she had far more serious things to talk about than his personal space.

“He… I…” Chikaru started with obvious difficulty. She paused as she took a deep breath and leaned forward. Collected, the nurse placed her elbow on her knee and her chin in her palm, “He is having an affair... He’s cheating on me.”

It was unbelievable.

He knew more than anyone that she wasn’t a nice person but he knew that no one deserved to be treated like that. It was only now that the minute changes to her character became evident; clearly he remembered how she seemed less and less responsive until yesterday.

And he still said those things to her…

“Chikaru…” Her patient found that her name was the only thing he could say. The fact that the person she was married to was seeing someone else had an obvious impact on him but knowing that he practically hit her while she was down was an even bigger blow.

Given her character, he assumed that it was just an argument over something stupid but he honestly never expected it to be something like this.

“You really are kind even if you try so hard to hide it.” She turned to him and his eyes landed on her moving lips, “I never thought that I’d hear you say my name… Shinji.”

Shinji couldn’t take his eyes off her no matter how hard he tried. His attention was glued to her, his eyes undressing her as she said his name with a soft whisper. It only made sense… Chikaru was the only woman he was in contact with for years but, with her this close, he couldn’t stop staring at her.

Her moving closer to him wasn’t at all helping his cause.

‘Oh… God…’ Shinji thought. His eyes widening as her hand slid on top of his, the sensation of her touching him already making him feel warm all of a sudden.

He could feel himself starting to sweat as he focused on her parted lips, her tongue darting out to keep them moist, “Shinji…” She whispered softly, the seductive tone of her voice showing exactly what she wanted.

In all the daydreams he ever had about her, she was never this sexy.

The desire was already there so she took action before it was gone. She gripped his wrist as she advanced on him, quick enough that he had no choice but to give in to what they both wanted.

A tongue kiss was a kiss born from passion, something only meant to be shared by lovers but neither of the two bothered to put any thought into where the desire to kiss one another came from and instead acted purely on impulse…

Shinji’s fingers rubbed across her smooth thighs, hiking up her the end of her dress as his hand moved up her leg.

Chikaru’s arms wrapped around his frame as she kissed him leaving both of them mesmerized by the feeling of their tongues in each other’s mouth.

His hand reached what he wanted to touch and he could feel her shaking in his arms, the bare thought of him even pressing his fingers into her panties being enough to make her start feeling hot. Chikaru stiffened, breaking the kiss as his fingertips brushed across her panties but that break was all he needed to take control of the situation.

Her back was forced into the bed and the sound of the bed springs going up and down was not at all enough to put an end to their lust.

But it was enough to bring him back to his senses.

Shinji blinked as he stared down into the eyes of the woman he could still taste in his mouth. Slowly, he brought his hand from under her dress but his eyes remained locked with that of the nurse lying on his bed.

He wanted to… He swore on everything he ever had that he wanted to have sex with her right now more anything else in the world and the hungry looked in his eyes reflected that well enough that he didn’t need to say anything.

Her patient motioned to move his hand off her clothed breast but she placed her hand on top of his and the conversation without words continued.

The look in her different color eyes were just as needing as his was. She didn’t only need it; she wanted it just as much as he did. It would be so easy to just keep going but he had to stop for her sake.

“Don’t… Don’t do this to yourself.” Shinji whispered, manually forcing himself to get off the woman before the urge to continue returned. He slid his hand out of her grasp and moved off the bed, almost falling on the floor as he got up.

She didn’t move off the bed and simply turned her head to look at him, “Why…?”

“Chikaru, I don’t know how you feel about your husband but you… we can’t do… this.”

The look in her eyes asked him the same question again and he was more than willing to clarify. Taking a deep breath, he moved back to the bed and took a seat on the side of her, “I know more than anyone that a few wrongs don’t make a right.”

“I know that but, every time I see him, I feel more and more alone.” She rolled on her side away from him, “I know you were lonely too so I wanted it to be with you.”

Just a few minutes ago, they were as close as people could get to each other but now they couldn’t be any farther apart and a single feeling that contributed to that. She would have been able to endure it if they had went all the way but having him stop midway and then tell her it was wrong only made her feel more ashamed.

“I’m not going to let you do this to yourself but...” Shinji lightly placed his hand on her shoulder if only to let her know that he was there, “I’ll talk to you about anything you want to.”

“Why… Why were you sent here?” Chikaru asked softly in an attempt to change the subject, her patient already knowing why her voice was cracking.

His eyes took a distant look to them as he attempted to form an answer to her question. Seeing that neither of them was going anywhere for a while, Shinji started from the beginning, “I was a pilot…”

“At first I could deal with it but then things just started piling up on me.” He looked down at the girl as she silently cried, briefly wondering if she was even listening but kept on anyway. He held back a sigh as thoughts of his friends came to mind, the ways they died following not far behind.

“It was like the harder I tried, the worst things got but it wasn’t until after Kaworu that they locked me in the GeoFront.” Shinji stared at his hand as he recalled one of the worst days of his life, “I had to kill him… I had to.”

With everyone else had an excuse… The line broke when he tried to pull Unit 02 out of the volcano. The dummy plug system prevented him from saving Touji. He was too late to stop the Angel from invading Unit 00.

But he alone murdered Kaworu and that was all it took to snap the tightrope he mentally walked on. After killing one of his friends with his own hands, he was deemed a security risk and confined the GeoFront for not only his safety but for the safety of everyone around him.

After the death of the Angel, he could see the blood left on his hands no matter how many times he washed it off. Even now, he would see his hands stained with the blood of a friend from time to time but it was safe to say that he was over it now.

“Don’t get me wrong… I know I wasn’t exactly stable then but I’m fairly alright now I guess.” Shinji narrowed his eyes at the blood in the palm of his hand even though he knew that it really wasn’t there, “They still needed me since I was the only active pilot so even if I wasn’t feeling that well I still tried but people kept dying…”

Chikaru touched the hand he had on her shoulder but neither of the two had any immoral needs anymore. Her line of sight remained on the wall on the side of the bed, “I saw you having a nightmare once…”

His eyes drifted to the camera in the corner of the room but his mind was on something else. Glad to see that she wasn’t crying anymore, he spoke if only to keep the conversation going, “Didn’t know you watched me that closely.”

“Everyone watches you Shinji.” She whispered, “The director likes you, the staff adores you, the guards are scared of you, and I… I’m paid to get to know you. You’re the only S-rank that has ever been here.”

“She told me what the status meant a long time ago.” She already knew he was referring to the nurse who used to take care of him.

“Did you really have to believe her?” Shinji’s hand slipped off her shoulder as Chikaru, her eyes still a bit watery, rolled over and looked up at him through her hair, “For all you know, she could have been wrong.”

Shinji laughed but it didn’t at all sound happy, “Then you just confirmed it with a look like that on your face.”

“You idiot… Do you have any tact?” She frowned as he shook his head, a sad smile appearing on his face before he spoke.

“I noticed these things a long time ago. When you have this much free time you begin to get really observant of the people you see.” Shinji looked down and his smile became larger with sight of her dark expression, “I know way more than you think I do…”

Deciding that she could take that anyway she wanted to, Shinji stood up and stuck out a hand to help her up and it was hard to mask his surprise when she took it.

Without effort, he helped her up and she started to smooth out her dress. He backed away as she stood up but, once again, Chikaru closed the distance between them with a kiss.

Although, it was just a peck on the cheek it was still a kiss…

As his fingertips trailed across the spot she kissed him, Shinji turned to the woman in front of him with a blank stare and she replied by leaning into him with a bowed head. Before he could will himself not to, he found himself holding her in a hug.

Chikaru nestled into his embrace and rested her head on his shoulder, “Thought you didn’t want to do things like this…” She muttered, her gentle voice flowing over his neck as she spoke.

Shinji, trying his best to overlook that he didn’t mind it as much as he thought he would, turned to the door as he thought of how to say what was on his mind, “I don’t…”

“Sounds like something you’d say.”

“I don’t mean to repeat myself or anything but,” He slowly released her before backing up, “He’s the person you married, the person you love and I’m… I’m a patient in a mental hospital. I don’t even know your full name not to mention that we don’t even love each other.”

“Shinji…”

“Chikaru, I don’t have the right to tell anyone what to do and I don’t even give good advice but don’t do things you really don’t want to do… It’ll only make you feel worse in the end.”

“You really are an idiot aren’t you?” She shook her head, her eyes locked on him as her dark red hair swayed because of the motion, “It’s not about the position the person is in at all. It’s about the person himself. How do you know if I want to do something or not and, if I do, don’t you think I’d be prepared for the consequences?”

Shinji sighed but smiled, “I guess you feel better now. So… back to redundant questions and exchanging bad insults?”

“No,” She said seriously, drawing his attention, “Not anymore… We’re not going to talk to each other that way anymore.”

In two days, their whole relationship with each other changed completely. They knew each other for this long but it was only today that she acknowledged him as something other than an annoying boy locked in a room.

He was right.

They did not love each other and being called friends was almost pushing it but this was the person she was a few buttons away from having sex with. Even if he could probably pretend it never happened, she would never be able to look at him the same way again.

Shinji leaned on the wall behind him as the weight of her words landed on him. He looked at the floor as he realized that things wouldn’t go back to being how he wanted them to be.

“You look sad. Really didn’t like me huh?”

“Don’t be stupid…” He raised his head and watched as she headed towards the door, “I never said anything like that.”

She flashed a smile as she spun around and set out to prove him wrong, “If I recall correctly, aren’t you the same person who said he hated me?”

A frustrated sigh came from him as he turned his sight back to the floor and she was amused to see that he still acted the same. Chikaru grinned at him before turning back around but her laugh fell to the wayside as she decided to tell him, “Shinji…“

“Don’t say it and…” He took a deep breath and slowly released it, the decision to say something he swore he would never say again already made.

“I’m sorry.” They said in unison, staring at each other as they uttered the words for different reasons.

“It’s dumb to be that kind even if you do act like an ass sometimes.”

“I thought we wouldn’t speak to each other that way.” Shinji said as she neared the door and knocked on it.

“Idiot,” As it opened, the nurse looked over her shoulder at him, “That’s starting now.”

~*~

The room that normally only echoed the sound of quiet breathing, careful footsteps, and screeching bedsprings was filled with beautiful music thanks to a single person playing a song. Shinji quickly adjusted his fingers and the bow continued to strum across the strings as he played his favorite instrument.

The peaceful humming of the strings spread throughout the room and the wonderful melody touched his audience. While she knew the piece he played wasn’t meant to be sad in any sense of the word, it was probably the fact that he was playing a song that wasn’t meant to be played alone.

Shinji played with flawless execution but Chikaru couldn’t help but feel at least a little bit depressed at the thought of him playing a song that was supposed to be performed with an entire orchestra. Regardless of how she felt, what she heard and saw captivated her. The tempo of the song picked up and his fingers moved even faster as he pressed them down at the right places to get the notes he wanted. The bow bit into the strings causing the ominous sound of the thicker strings come out even more.

The cello, satisfied with his playing, sung for him and the wonderful sounds resonated in the nurse’s heart.

He was nearing the end of the song.

As each note was accented she finally accepted that he was far better than she ever thought. The bow slid across two strings at the same time and the mellow sound of the cello gradually faded with the song ending.

She clapped. It was the only thing she could do after such a magnificent performance. Somehow, Shinji always managed to surpass her expectations when she secretly expected little to nothing out of him.

“Shinji… It… Amazing…”

Taking her broken string of words for the awe she couldn’t put into words, Shinji nodded as he stood up with the cello and bow in hand, “Thanks. It’s the least I can do for you since you got it for me in the first place…”

Chikaru blushed at the thought of something so beautiful being dedicated to her, “Y-You’re welcome.”

“I can see your cute side coming out.” Shinji said, mimicking her voice as he walked towards the nurse and handed her what he held.

She warmly accepted the instrument and the bow before she put them back inside the case she brought with her, “I wish I could leave it in here for you but you know the rules.”

Although he would never straight admit it to her, this was the best time he ever spent in the facility. With the system up again, they weren’t physically as close as they was in the weeks prior but, now, they couldn’t be any closer to each other as friends.

The contact between them was gone but what they missed was made up in just spending time with each other. Although Chikaru would unintentionally let the occasional idiot slip out of her mouth, she tried her best to stay committed to their unwritten rule and, since that day, he never said anything to bother her.

Alas, something he didn’t want to happen was happening and he knew that he couldn’t stop it. He was beginning to like his nurse more and more despite the fact that he tried so hard not to and she responded to his feelings by tending to him with the care that replaced her apathy.

He wasn’t lying when he said he noticed things about the only people he saw nowadays. While he knew his father kept secrets for obvious reasons, he could tell that Chikaru had things she didn’t share with him just like he had things he didn’t share with her but his feelings for her pleaded for him to pry and he finally gave in to them.

Locking the case, she was about to lift it on top of the table until she noticed how Shinji looked at her, “You want to play another song for me?”

“I wouldn’t mind but…” He paused, “How are you doing?”

“Oh? It’s not often that you ask me things like that.” She smiled, as she stood up and placed the case on the bolted down table, “I’m touched.”

“Probably because you like making it difficult when I do…”

“Don’t worry, everything is alright...” She took a seat in one of the chairs and Shinji returned to sit on his bed, “I haven’t talked to him for real while I was there so he probably knows I know by now.”

“Just like I thought,” Shinji smiled as he reclined back on the bed, “You’re not the type of person who can lie with a straight face.”

“Huh…?”

“You haven’t gone home since you told me Chikaru.”

Of course, he couldn’t see her eyes because of her hair but he didn’t need to look at her to confirm his statement since he knew he was already right. His caretaker just needed to know one thing, “How did you find out?”

“Your perfume…” He said simply, noticing a while ago that the scent disappeared and was replaced by the smell of the same soap they issued to him, “You’re not going back home?”

“No, I’m not going back to that apartment and forget being married to that guy.”

“That’s not something you should just throw away like that…”

“Shinji,” She stood up and walked away from the chair she was sitting on. She looked down at the boy on the bed as she spoke, “I don’t care what he does anymore. I want to be with you.”

Her words cut through any of his attempts to keep distance between them and she got the rise out of him that she wanted when he sat up. Despite everything he said and all his careful planning, he couldn’t deny that he felt the same way.

She was the only woman he’d been in contact with for a long time but that wasn’t the only reason he grew fond of her. Secretly, he liked interacting with her not only because she gave him something to do but because, even if she was paid to do it, she was there for his sake.

Still…

“Did you lose it?” Shinji stood up and stared directly at her, “You’re married! We’re not even friends… I don’t even like-“

“Give it up.” Chikaru cut him off as she held up a hand, “I’m not as dense as you think I am. Lying won’t get rid of me.”

Shinji sighed as he sat back on the bed. She saw through him like a window, “I just didn’t want to bother people anymore. I’m stuck here for the rest of my life Chikaru… I already got one person fired and now-“

She tapped him on the head with her knuckles.

Chikaru sighed as Shinji rubbed his head. That was easily the dumbest thing she ever heard come out of his mouth, “You think I don’t know that?”

He learned from his previous caretaker that rank S belonged to those who were confined to this part of the hospital for life. A long time ago, he found that the only thing he could do was accept it. He was never going to get out so the least he could do was not complicate things for people who still had to bother watching him.

“You fooled me at first. I thought you were stupid, ignorant, and just plain annoying but I knew you were lonely for a fact.” She looked down at him as she spoke, “It wasn’t until I tried to do something dumb that I realized that it was just a front. You’re kind… You are really kind to me.”

“I care about you and I know you’re hurt. If you’re not leaving then I’m not going to leave anymore either.” She kneeled to get on eye level with him, “I’ve been trying to find a way to get you out but… if I don’t find one then I’m going to stay here with you.”

Shinji stared at the floor feeling touched at the thought of her willing to do something like that for him but also feeling sad that he couldn’t help the situation anymore than she could. All he could give her though was the truth, “I… I didn’t want to get close to anyone because it was going to hurt when he or she left.”

“Chikaru, I appreciate it but there isn’t anything you could do to get me out or get me to drop a level.” He glanced up at her and then looked behind her at camera mounted in the corner, “I’ll just be glad if you’re not fired…”

“Honestly…” She shook her head and followed his line of sight to the camera, “I’m not going to let what people watch what I do with my precious patient anymore.”

Completely caught off guard, Shinji did a double take as he realized the red light on the camera wasn’t even on.

“That lazy guy in the office doesn’t even pay attention anymore and if he did then he wouldn’t even notice that the feed wasn’t live.”

“What are you going to do?” Shinji asked as she stood causing her shadow to loom over him.

“What I should have did the first time around…” Chikaru could sense his discomfort but that was something they wouldn’t have to worry about for long, “Any more excuses you want me to wave off?”

For both their sake, she didn’t give him any time to think of one.

Chikaru surprised him with a sudden push and smiled as she pinned him under her. This time their contact wasn’t based in something as shallow as lust but it instead sprouted from pure-hearted affection, “So… do you want to continue from where we left off?”

“Dumb questions even at a time like this…” Shinji, treasuring her honest feelings, closed his eyes as he spoke, “I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

She rolled off him, “I wouldn’t mind if you helped me get this dress off…”

He sat up and leaned over her. With painstaking care, he unbuttoned her dress as she looked up at him with a soft smile. She knew that he wouldn’t forget that she was married but if he just ignored it for a few hours then she would feel that much better.

With her dress completely unbuttoned, Chikaru threw the uniform on the side of the bed and laid back down with only her underwear on. He silently stared at her body and she let him take all the time he wanted, the fact that he even wanted to look at her making her feel thankful.

Warily, he reached out but she grabbed his wrist before he could touch her, “I don’t remember telling you to move.”

Shinji gulped.

She was that type of woman…

Chikaru stared up at him, her different color eyes flashing with confidence as she released his hand. Now that he knew who was in control this time around, she could tell him what to do, “Take off your shirt.”

He pulled off his shirt and, with her instruction, his drawstring pants fell to the way side. Left with only his boxers on, Shinji waited for her next order as she sat up. The smiling nurse placed her arms around his neck. She didn’t say anything as she closed the distance between them and lightly licked the corner of his mouth, “Do you want to kiss me?”

Shinji nodded and she shook her head. Chikaru licked her lips, “I want to hear it…” She whispered, smiling as she looked into his eyes.

She liked to tease but he was willing to submit, “I want to kiss you.”

That was what she wanted to hear.

“Do it then…”

She closed her eyes as he kissed her on the side of the mouth. Just like she teased him, he took his time. His lips brushed across hers but he made no real attempt to kiss her so she did it for him.

The arms around his neck pulled him in closer and she kissed him. Unlike the demanding kiss they shared the first time, it was slower… This time she let him feel how soft her lips were and gave him time to appreciate the feeling of her tongue in his mouth.

He responded in the same fashion, keeping his hands in place as they tasted each other for the second time. The delicate kiss was broken when she pulled back but the feeling lingered.

She didn’t say anything as she brought her arms from around his neck and took off her bra. The light pink undergarment fell on the bed and she didn’t care to brush it off the bed as she leaned forward for another kiss, “You can touch me this time.”

Their lips met again but he didn’t need her to instruct him to do that. His hands slid down her back, the lack of the band of fabric reminding him that her bra was gone. Almost as if on cue, her breasts pressed into his chest as she moved even closer to him.

The kiss kept them occupied but the feeling of his hands exploring her body added just that much more to the kiss. Knowing he wanted her made her feel good but being touched like this not only made her feel wanted.

It made her want more.

Again, she broke the kiss but with a more determined look in her eyes. The moment she leaned back, his eyes drifted down to her shapely breasts and that was what she wanted, “Oh? Do you want to touch them?”

Unable to bring himself to actually say it, he fell victim to her again, “You have to say it remember?” She said slowly, enjoying herself as she teased him.

“I…” Shinji started, blushing as he found the confidence to say it, “I want to touch your breasts.” He finished his statement, the blush spreading across his face as he spoke.

Chikaru laid down on the bed and smiled up at him as he reached out with both his hands and gently squeezed her breasts. She blinked as she noticed that his hands were cold but the sensation of being groped by him made her mind go blank. His inexperienced hands carefully squeezed her breasts and she responded by sharply gasping as he massaged them.

He kneaded the flesh under his hand, his fingers shaping her breasts as he did exactly what she wanted him to. His thumbs rubbed across her nipples and teasing him suddenly became a passing thought. She abruptly reached out and pulled his head into her chest.

Taking that as her order, his tongue swirled around her areola before his lips closed around her nipple. With his hand still softly squeezing her breast, he gently sucked on the stiff nub that was her nipple.

Before she could get familiar with the feeling, he stopped. His tongue trailed down from her nipple and over her skin, the only thought she could contain being that she was getting goosebumps.

Shinji started to give the same treatment to the other side of her chest and she arched her back in an attempt to force even more of her breast in his mouth. He kept going and he gave her just enough time to savor the feeling of his lips lightly tugging at her nipple.

Her commands and his logic were lost as they once again descended into the passion that he found it so hard to escape from the first time. The hands that were once on the back of her his was on top of it as she pushed him down, “Lower...” She demanded with a shaky voice.

Chikaru didn’t have to wait long as he ended up looking between her legs. Soon, he was face to face with her panties. For the second time, he pressed his finger into her satin panties and she gritted her teeth as he decided to pull the thin fabric to the side.

The first thing he experienced was the smell.

As he stared at her sex, he could smell the intoxicating scent that came from between her legs. His eyes traced her vagina, the delicate pink in contrast with the ruby red tuff of hair but he cared little about that. Without warning, his tongue met her vagina and Chikaru instantly spread her legs wider for greater access. Almost by mistake, his tongue dipped inside her and was nearly brought back out but the hands in his hair ensured he would do nothing over the sort, “Keep going.” She ordered callously, the feeling he was providing her with too good to let go.

His lips came into contact with her pussy as his tongue delved even deeper into her. The taste was unlike anything he ever had before but he continued nonetheless. Letting go of his hair, Chikaru touched her clitoris and the moisture Shinji left there only added that much more to her pleasure.

Unable to see her face, he took the feeling of her hand in his hair as an indicator of how much she liked it as he kept going but it was the way she suddenly got tighter that told him something was coming. Chikaru fell back on the bed in bliss as she climaxed, the feeling coming on so suddenly that she couldn’t even tell him.

His tongue licked up her excess juices before he raised his head and saw that she obviously enjoyed it based on her expression, “You made me climax so early…”

“Um… I’m sorry?”

“That’s a good thing you idiot…” She used her elbows to push herself back up, “Now, take off your underwear.”

“Yes ma’am.” Shinji said wryly before they both discarded the last of their clothing. Now that he was completely naked, she sat up and mirrored his smile as looked at his erection.

Chikaru blushed as she reached down grabbed his shaft and stroked her hand up and down his length. Already she could imagine him inside her but her small daydream was broken up as he whispered her name.

“You are… You’re going to make-“

She shook her head as she released him, “This time we’re going to do it together okay?”

“Hold it for me…” She whispered in his ear as she wrapped her arm around him as her other hand guided his dick into her. With only a slight gasp to mark that he entered her, Shinji’s hands drifted down to her hips as she moved up and down.

Her nipples rubbed against his chest as her breasts flopped with the motion and the bedsprings repeatedly screeched under the stress. It felt better than she imagined that it would, his length entering her with ease and sliding against the wet walls of her womanhood.

“I’m close…” She managed to get out amidst their passion, the panting and moans painting there love with sound. That voice that never ceased to sound so good to him was making him arrive even closer to the peak of his pleasure as they continued.

She wrapped her arms around him, clutching him in a hug as she felt it coming, “I love you…”

An orgasm so powerful that it almost hurt… Thick gobs of his essence jetted into her and her body coaxed even more of it out of him as her vagina contracted around his penis. Heavy breathing companied their bliss and realization followed that. As their ecstasy died down, the look in her eyes remained as she held him tighter.

“It’s a good thing I’m the one who has the change the sheets huh…?”

“Chikaru,” Shinji rested his head on her chest, “I love you…”

The hole in her heart was completely filled again simply by his words. His nurse rubbed her hand in his hair, “You idiot… You’re not supposed to say that yet. Tell me when I get you out of here.”

“I… I really do.” He whispered, holding her closer as he spoke.

They were attached to each other now. Her hope along with her heartfelt feelings gradually filled the emptiness in his life. They taught each other but the most important things of all were already learned by both from previous experience.

Chikaru smiled brightly as he showed her how he really felt, the hold he kept on his feelings for so long finally let go, “I know.” She whispered gently, consoling him.

“I know Shinji…”

~*~

With enough time given to deciding his move, Gendo moved the bishop across the board to take the white rook but the grown man almost reconsidered his move until he recalled that it was the right choice to make seeing that none of Shinji’s pieces could take his bishop.

His son took a deep breath and hoped he made the right choice in letting his rook be taken. Slowly, Shinji reached for his last knight and took his father’s pawn, “Check.”

This amused his father but not nearly enough to make the stolid man laugh as he took advantage of his son’s mistake. The former commander of NERV moved his other bishop and knocked over the ivory knight.

Shinji sighed as he saw his plan fail before it really started. The game continued expect with his father getting the best of him until the patient took one more chance seeing that he had nothing to lose besides the game itself.

Gendo smirked as his son’s queen took his rook and he moved his knight back to take it. It wasn’t until he removed the queen from the board that he noticed his hasty mistake. Shinji smiled as his father looked up at him with an unreadable expression and moved his rook two spaces to the right, “Checkmate.”

His father rook off his glasses and looked at the board. Defeated for the first time by his son, Gendo kept his cool as Shinji sunk down in the chair in a mild state of delight.

With the game complete, the older man stood up and Shinji glanced up at him with the smile still on his face, “I tried this time but I still almost lost.”

“I see.” He said simply, “I enjoyed the game.”

Shocked, Shinji stopped collecting the pieces into the box they belong in and turned back to his father, “Really…?”

Gendo nodded as he walked away from the table and knocked on the door. The door opened and the man muttered a low goodbye before walking out of the room. Briefly, Shinji wondered if his father was just a sore loser but, even if the thought was pretty funny, he more than likely left quickly because he had more pressing matters to tend to.

“How are you doing today?” The nurse asked as strolled into the room, the door closing behind her.

“Alright…” Shinji blinked as Chikaru laid the clipboard on the table and started to help him put the pieces away, “Um, were you waiting outside or something?” He asked, thinking it strange that she would appear not even minutes after his father left.

“Do you really want to know?”

Shinji scratched his head before he spoke, “Saying stuff like that only makes me want to know more.”

Chikaru flashed him a familiar smile, “I asked your father to help me get you out.”

Her patient took the news well but she could tell he got a bit apprehensive, “And?”

“He wanted to play a game with you first.” The ruby haired woman placed the last pawn in the box and Shinji placed it on top of the board as he waited to hear what else she had to say.

“Anytime you’re finished with your pause for suspense…”

“I told you half because you only gave me half of a greeting.” The nurse replied as she leaned over him, her eyes looking at him from behind her hair.

Shinji blushed as he remembered what she meant. Getting out of the chair, he neared the smiling nurse she but surprised him with a hug before he could kiss her on the cheek, “He said he’ll do it. You’ll be out tomorrow.” She whispered, her satisfied expression all he needed to verify what she said.

“Father…” He said gently, the thought that he would be leaving this place enough to make him feel faint, “How? No, why…?”

“I don’t know. I just asked him and he agreed when he came out.” Chikaru smiled at him, knowing for a fact that he wouldn’t be her patient anymore. Her arms fell back to her side and she smiled after she released him, “I’m going to ask your father about some stuff before I quit.”

The game… No, it couldn’t be that.

He raked his mind trying to think of why the man would do something like that for him but knowing that he was leaving put a mental block on his mind.

“Wait…” Shinji whispered, placing a hand on the table to support him. It was only now that his mind really started to comprehend what was happening. He already accepted that he was going to stay here for the rest of his life, that he was never going to see the sun again or actually be able to cook for the rest of his life.

His tears dropped on the bolted down table.

He thought that his father of all people was one of the people who wanted him to stay here but he was wrong. All this time passed and he was just now beginning to understand the complexities of the man who used to give him so many reasons to hate him.

“Shh… It’s okay Shinji.” She softly patted him on the back, trying to ease him.

Chikaru…

Even though he admired her hope he didn’t mirror it at all. In all honestly, he doubted her and she knew it. She was trying her best and he sat on the bed, sad because he thought she was trying to do the impossible.

In hindsight, he gave her just a bit of support when she needed it but she helped him far more than he ever helped her. In the time he spent in the hospital, he became exactly what she called him. He became a cynical idiot and she fixed that and so much more by showing him what was right.

“It’s okay.” She repeated as he wept, unable to stop because he was so happy.

Shinji slowly turned around and wiped the tears out of his eyes with his forearm. He stared at the nurse in front of him, the woman who left her husband behind with hopes of staying with her patient. His attempt to stop crying was in vain but his words weren’t, “Thank you Chikaru.”

What was only supposed to be her revenge on the man she married blossomed into a relationship that she felt was more than right. With a smile, she accepted his words but she still had some of her own.

“I should be the one saying that you idiot and…” Chikaru whispered as she softly hit him on the head with her knuckles, “You’re welcome.”

~Fin

Author’s Note: For real, Chikaru is an important character to me not only because I made her up but because she’s based on someone I know. Not the sex and stuff of course but just some aspects of the character. ^_^;; With Nurse done, that’s the next to last role chapter finished.

This’ll be a good time to mention it but Ritsuko, Mana, and Arael are going to have full length stories based on their chapters. While the Ritsuko/Shinji story (Remember Me) is already up, I don’t see Mana’s story (Mistakes) or Arael’s (Lost Halo) getting written anytime soon.

It sounds like trouble when a lazy person says he needs time but don’t worry. I’m still trying my best. Many thanks for reading everyone. ^_^