The Key to My Heart

Title: The Key to My Heart: Chapter 14 (re-posted)
Author: JadeHeart
Archived: Found on gurabiteshiyon.net. If anyone else would like it, please ask me first!
Fandom: Gravitation / Fake
Rating: R
Warnings: angst, bad language
Timeline: After the anime/manga finishes.
Characters: Yuki/Jim/Tohma/Ryo/Dee/Bikky/Lai
Feedback: Feedback is always welcome! If I don’t get feedback, I don’t want to continue!
Summary: Just how far would Yuki go in search of Shuichi?
Author’s Notes: Well, this is the last of the revised chapters, and, yes, it is rather long as it’s the last of the all the bits and pieces. The revised chapters were only those in relation to the time spent in New York. Thank you so much to bakayaro onna and ashcat for reviewing these amended chapters, and only making them better as usual! Again, I’ve put back in some portions that I had originally written, but took out at the time of posting due to the fact that people may not have read FAKE so they might not be able to relate to the characters from that story; also the rest of the removed sections where just dialogue or thoughts that I enjoyed writing at the time, but didn’t necessarily take the story any further.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, they belong to the creators of ‘Gravitation’ and ‘Fake’, nor am I making any profits from this.

The Key to My Heart: Chapter 14 (edited)

Yuki sat at the bar, swirling the ice cubes around in his glass, watching them spin in tiny circles. After one more twirl, he picked it up and drank the last of the liquid. He was tempted to order another, but decided that it wouldn’t be a good idea. He knew he was drinking more than he normally would, foregoing his usual beer in favour of the heavier spirits. Not a good sign. Spirits were only for bad times. Fuck it! Guess this is a bad time then! He raised his hand to signal the bartender for a replacement.

“Sure that is a good idea?” a voice said quietly at his elbow.

He turned his head slowly. Tohma was perched on the stool next to him, chin resting on hands, elbows placed on the bar. He looked at Yuki with those calm eyes, and small smile. Yuki growled, foregoing to answer. Tohma just gave a small shrug and raised a finger to the bartender. A double scotch was placed before Yuki, whilst something else was put in front of Tohma. Yuki took a long swallow from his glass whilst Tohma sipped his more elegantly.

“So what are you having?” Yuki asked, motioning to Tohma’s drink.

“Rum.” Tohma replied.

Yuki raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t Tohma’s usual preference in alcoholic beverages. “Straight?”

“And double.”

Yuki was more surprised. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Tohma drink rum. “What’s the occasion?”

Tohma just shrugged, “No occasion.”

They drank in silence for a time, then Yuki asked suddenly. “How come they knew what drink you wanted?”

“Oh, I’ve been here a few times.”

That was news to Yuki. He hadn’t realized that Tohma had spent any great amount of time here. He had, of course, sat in the bar with Yuki most evenings for a time, but then Yuki hadn’t seen him drink rum. So that could only mean that Tohma had been here in the bar on his own, without Yuki.

So just when did he do that, Yuki wondered. Tohma was with him during the day, sometimes he felt like they were glued at the hip, which drove him nearly mad. Then he was almost used to that where Tohma was concerned. They would come back to the hotel either having dinner and a drink before retiring, or heading out for the night on their search, before returning and going to bed. So just when did Tohma manage to come here to the bar enough times that the bar staff knew exactly what drink he wanted, without him having to say anything?

Yuki looked at Tohma from the corner of his eye. Tohma always managed to look perfect; his clothes, hair, style, everything. He rarely looked anything but his best. However, now Yuki was looking closely, he could see that there was darkness shadowing Tohma’s eyes, small lines creasing the usually smooth brow.

He wasn’t sleeping, Yuki thought to himself a little surprised. He knew that Tohma was a bit of an insomniac. It was something that Mika had often complained about, the fact that Tohma would often stay at NG all night, and the next morning not even show any sign of being the worse for wear. Yuki had never quite figured out if she was upset that Tohma hadn’t come home to her at those times because she missed him, or she was jealous of just how good her husband could still look the next day after pulling an all-nighter! That was Mika for you!

However, Tohma wasn’t like that all the time, and Yuki hadn’t noticed anything during this time away with his brother-in-law, but then again, if he was asleep he wouldn’t know if Tohma left the room. That was the only explanation. Tohma was waiting until Yuki was asleep and coming here to the bar, and he must have been doing it regularly enough for the staff to know his needs. Yuki took another drink. When he got his hands on Shuichi, the brat had a lot to answer for!

***************

Bikky stood outside the store on the pavement, looking down the street. It wasn’t the best part of the neighbourhood, but it also wasn’t the worst. As long as they took a bit of care and watched themselves, they shouldn’t run into any trouble. It was still bright daylight, so the low-lifes of the night hadn’t emerged yet. The boy had no intention of being around here when they did. Lai soon emerged and joined him.

“They’re positive it was him.” Lai said, pushing the crinkled photo of Shuichi back into his jean’s pocket.

“You sure?” Bikky couldn’t believe their luck.

“Yep.” Lai pointed down the street. “They said he left here, and turned down that street. With what he was carrying, they didn’t think he was going far.”

“Let’s go!” Bikky set off at a run, Lai at his heels.

They reached the corner and looked around them. There was only one apartment block there, then a set of shops, some still operating, others closed and boarded up, before further apartment blocks continued on. A group of youths were playing basketball in the middle of the street in front of them, the ball flying between the two teams.

Bikky and Lai looked at each other, broad gins on their faces. Perfect!

They immediately ran towards the group, and it didn’t take too many insults or dares, before they had possession of the ball to prove their worth. Whatever else the two boys may have been, give them a basketball and they were magic on two feet. They really worked well as a team and soon had the upper hand in the competition. The local youths could only watch in surprise and admiration, and not a little chagrin at having obviously been conned so well. Bikky and Lai finally clinched the game with a final basket, narrowly beating the home team.

Fortunately, the youths could appreciate the show of talent, and so weren’t too upset at a couple of strays beating them on their own turf. Bikky knew only too well how protective in their own neighbourhood gangs could be, whether it was over basketball, or drugs. Luckily for them, this group was willing to accept the two of them on an equal footing, so it was soon easy enough for them to ask a few questions.

“Hey, any of you dudes seen this guy?” Lai asked, holding out the photo of Shuichi.

One of the boys took it, looked, shook his head, before passing it to the next youth. “Nope.”

The rest were indicating in the negative also, then one spoke up, “Hey, I think I might have!”

“Really?” Bikky perked his ears up.

The boy looked at the photo again, frowning a little. “Well, I think it could be the same guy, only he doesn’t have pink hair and it’s not in that style.” He shrugged. “Maybe it’s not. I dunno.”

Lai took back the photo. “But you thought it might have been when you first looked at it?”

The guy half shrugged again, “Yeah, at first glance it sorta looked like him. I’ve seen him a couple of times around here, but I’m not real sure.”

“Does he live around here, do you know?”

Another shrug. “No idea. Never spoken to him or anything. Just seen him across the street a couple of times.” He motioned with his chin in the direction he meant. “I saw him go into that place.” indicating the first apartment block on the corner they had passed.

“This is just awesome!” Bikky said to Lai with excitement.

“Hey, hold on a minute, we don’t know if it is him!”

“Oh, come on, Lai! It’s a damn good chance it is! The store owner said he came down this way, and it’s got to be a pretty close bet that he lives in there. Even if he doesn’t, or it’s not him, we’re not gonna know till Ryo and Dee can check it out.”

“I suppose.” Lai agreed.

“Ryo was on late shift, so I’m gonna call Dee.”

***********

Ryo opened the door in answer to the loud banging. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, and looked at Tohma and Yuki.

“What’s up?”

“Just had a call from Dee. He said to meet him here.” Yuki said shortly.

“Oh.” Ryo said, smothering a yawn, waving them inside. Yuki walked in and threw himself into a chair, lighting up a cigarette. Dee turned up a moment later.

“Good. You’re all here.”

Dee spread a city map out on the table. It was covered with a number of red circles now, each one representing a sighting of Shuichi. There were more of them now, growing in an ever tighter circle.

They had been on Shuichi’s trail for nearly four weeks, each day bringing a new development. With Lai’s help in Chinatown and his brother, Law’s, assistance through the Chinese community in the business world, they had finally begun to make some headway.

They had learnt that Shuichi had been working in Chinatown. He had been doing odd jobs such as dishwashing at restaurants, delivery boy for dry cleaners and grocery stores. You name it, he seemed to be doing it. Yuki was more than a little surprised. Shuichi had never seemed capable of maintaining concentration on anything, unless it was his music.

However, this posed a problem in its own way. The most difficult thing about these types of jobs was that they were all on a casual basis, never permanent. When he was needed, he was called. So Shuichi had continued to move on, from one job to another, just helping out a few hours here and there. Each place they had verified he had worked at was carefully marked on the map.

He had been seen doing shopping at various times, but as Lai pointed out, he probably was given a lot of his food as payment for his work, especially in restaurants and grocery stores. So, though the sightings had been infrequent, they also were marked on the map.

“Last sighting we had was here.” Dee said, adding another circle. “Lai and Bikky said that they were given a possible address that he might be at. It’s an apartment block, so we’re going to have to door knock.” He looked up at Tohma and Yuki. “So are you two up for it tomorrow? We’re going to be starting early.”

“We’re ready.”

“Okay then. We’ll pick you up at eight.”

***************

They made their way through the apartment block, one door at a time, taking note of any that they didn’t receive an answer for, to check out later. Ryo teamed with Tohma, whilst Yuki was with Dee. Time after time the answer was the same. No one had seen Shuichi.

“Why couldn’t you just look up the rental agreements?” Tohma asked Ryo as they continued.

“Most of these places would have more than one person, or family living in it.” Ryo explained. “There may be only one name on the rental agreement, but it doesn’t mean that Shu isn’t going to be living there too.”

Dee knocked on a door, and the young man who opened it, peered at them suspiciously. This didn’t change when Dee identified himself as a detective, holding up his badge. He tried to put on his most winning smile, and explained the reason they were there. That they were looking for a young man who had been injured and lost his memory. He motioned to Yuki who was standing silently at his side, saying that he was family.

He held out Shuichi’s photo for viewing. Yuki had explained that Shuichi had returned to his natural hair colour of brown, so the photo wasn’t completely accurate. Personally Dee thought it was a damn good thing that the young man had got rid of the shocking pink. Waking up to that each morning would have made him puke! All he could think was that Ryo had better not get any such ideas!

“Hey, that’s Shu!”

Yuki’s heart nearly stopped.

“You’re sure!” Dee said sharply.

“Yeah, I’m sure!” the young man said scornfully. “He lives here!”

“Look, are you really positive?” Dee pressed. “Have a good look at the picture. You’re absolutely positive that this is the same person?”

“Sure I am! Okay, his hair’s a lot shorter, but that’s him, alright. He said he had been in an accident, some sort of plane crash. He was pretty busted up still. He’s been getting help for that for ages.”

“Where is he?”

“Oh, wow, man, you’ve just missed him.”

“Where’s he gone?”

“He left. With the band.”

“What band?”

“He got together with a couple of guys around here, and they’ve been playing the local scene. You know, the local bars and clubs. They’re pretty good, too. Never knew Shu could sing!”

“Where have they gone?”

“Canada.” was the reply.

Yuki’s heart plummeted.

Back at the precinct they sat in the empty interview room. Yuki couldn’t believe it. Not again! This couldn’t be happening again! He put his head in his hands, massaging his temples. Could he go on? Was there any point? Now what should he do?

A hand on his shoulder squeezed. He didn’t look up. Go away, Tohma, he thought. He didn’t need the man’s pity.

“Hang in there.” A quiet voice that wasn’t Tohma’s, said. He looked up to see Ryo standing beside him. “It’s not over yet, remember.”

“I’ve found out some more.” Dee said, striding back into the room, papers in hand. “The band is a couple of local kids, a guitarist and keyboardist. One of them has an uncle who owns a club here and who’s got friends up north. So he set up a little road trip for them to try and give them a bit of a break. Their usual singer had got pregnant, so they asked Shu to join them. Apparently they had heard him in a karaoke bar and were smart enough to know talent when they saw it. They left a couple of weeks ago.”

“Where are they headed?”

“Boston to play first, then Standford in Maine. From there, they were heading across to Quebec. That was to be their last stop.”

“Quebec.” Yuki said looking at the map. It seemed a long way away.

“Yep.” Dee looked at the date on his watch. “According to his uncle, they would have just been finishing up there about now. He said they planned to hang around a while before coming home.”

“I’m going.” Yuki said suddenly.

“Why not wait for him to return?”

“We don’t know how long that’ll be, and I don’t want to miss him again.” Tohma was already pulling his phone out and dialling.

“Hold on a minute.” Dee said and disappeared out the door.

“Are you sure about this?” Ryo asked Yuki.

“Yes. I can’t just wait here to see when he comes back. Not after all this time. I’ve got to find him.”

Ryo nodded in understanding. “I know. If it’s any consolation, this has taken less time than I thought it would.”

“Less time?” Yuki was surprised. To him it had seemed to take a lifetime already.

“Yes. Missing persons are never easy, and in a case like this, we’ve been really lucky.” Ryo smiled warmly at him. “I think that must mean that you were meant to find him, if you care to believe in destiny or fate.”

“I’ll believe in anything, even the fucking Tooth Fairy! As long as I find him!” Yuki said a little harshly.

“I’m sure you will.” and turned as Dee re-entered the room.

“I’ve booked a flight, and it leaves this evening.” Tohma said to Yuki as he joined them.

“Here,” Dee said, handing over a piece of paper to Yuki. “That’s the names of the places that the band were booked to play at, as well as the contact names and phone numbers. I’ve asked the uncle here to contact either Ryo or myself as soon as the boys return, and if Shu comes back to send him into us. We can contact you then if that happens.”

Ryo held out his hand. “Sorry we can’t go with you, but Quebec’s a little out of our jurisdiction!”

Yuki shook it. “You’ve done more than enough. Thanks.”

“Take care and good luck.”

“Watch yourself.” Dee said, shaking hands. “Let us know how you go.”

“Sure.”

Back at the hotel, Yuki quickly threw his clothes into the bag, when he noticed Tohma sitting quietly on the bed, making no move to pack.

“What’s up?” he asked, continuing to pack.

“I won’t be going with you.”

Yuki stopped at those quiet words and turned. Tohma looked back at him, face serious.

“Why not?” Yuki sat on the bed opposite.

“It’s time I went home.” Yuki said nothing. “I’ve got a company to run, and Mika needs me. I’ve been away from both for longer than I probably should have.”

Yuki still said nothing. Tohma was completely correct. Yuki hadn’t expected his brother-in-law to come with him, hadn’t expected him to stay with him all this time. It had been nearly four months. That’s a long time.

Yuki felt a stab of guilt to think of his sister left alone in Japan, as her husband took off to another country to baby-sit her brother. She must have been missing Tohma. Yuki had been so caught up in his own problems that he hadn’t given much thought to the others involved in this.

He reached in and lit up a cigarette, looking at Tohma steadily. “Yeah. You’d better get home.” he said.

Tohma looked worried. “I’m sorry I can’t stay. I wish I could go with you.”

Yuki blew out a puff of smoke and stood, turning his back on Tohma. “I can look after myself. I think I can manage to catch a plane on my own.”

“Eiri.” Tohma said quietly.

Yuki slowly turned and looked down at Tohma. He looked dejected, tired. Yuki realized this had probably been just as hard on Tohma as it had on him. Tohma had done most of the organizing. It was Tohma who had to pick up the pieces when Yuki had fallen apart. It was Tohma who had borne the brunt of every one of Yuki’s moods. That wasn’t easy for anyone.

“Thanks.” Yuki said abruptly. Tohma looked up, a little surprised. “For everything. Without you, I wouldn’t be here. So, thanks.”

A soft smile spread across Tohma’s face as he stood. “You’re welcome, Eiri.” He glanced at his watch. “You’d better head downstairs. Your cab’s going to be waiting.”

Yuki grabbed the last of his things and left the room, Tohma walking with him. He placed his bag in the back, and turned at the door to face his brother-in-law.

“Give my love to Mika. And Tatsuha.” he said a little awkwardly.

“I will. You take care of yourself. Don’t get into any trouble, if you can help it. And call me every day, alright?” Tohma smiled. “You don’t want to make me worry, do you?”

“Yeah.”

“Hang onto Jim’s number. He might still be able to help you.”

“I’ve got it.”

They looked at each other a moment longer, and then Yuki took a sudden step forward. In an entirely uncharacteristic gesture, he enclosed Tohma in a quick embrace. He released the startled man and stepped into the cab, slamming the door, before Tohma could say anything. As the cab sped away he could see Tohma in the side mirror, still standing on the pavement looking after him.

He leant back and closed his eyes with a sigh. Quebec, he thought. He’d have to brush up on his French.

***************

Yuki wandered into another club, letting the din wrap around him like a thick blanket. How many clubs had he gone to during this time? he wondered. How many nights had he spent, roaming the darkened streets? How many days had he slept away, living this nocturnal life? Too many. Too fucking many.

He had arrived in Quebec and gone immediately to the club Dee had provided him with the name. The manager was helpful. He was more than accommodating, but he couldn’t help. The band had finished up the day before, been paid, and the boys had left. The manager had said that he had heard that they were going to stay and look around, but he didn’t know for how long, or where they were going to stay.

That had begun a whole new search for Yuki. He began to visit every hotel, every boarding house, every YMCA, anywhere that would take in lodgers. There had been no luck. He had become so sick of asking the same questions, ‘Have you seen this person?, Do you know this man?, Have you any idea where else I could go?’, over and over again. He could recite those questions in his sleep. Hell, he probably fucking did, for all he knew! Always the same questions, which always generated the same answer - No.

He tried once more asking at businesses similar to those that Shuichi had been working in whilst in New York, thinking he might have gone back to doing some casual work. He roamed through small corner stories, delivery services, restaurants and cafes. Everywhere that he thought might, just might, be somewhere that Shuichi may have come to. Again, no luck.

He had received a call from Dee about a week after arriving, to tell him that the other two band members had returned home, but without Shuichi. Apparently, he had parted company with the others, and decided to remain in Quebec. Why, Yuki didn’t know. Shuichi didn’t speak very good English, let alone French! Yuki was having a hard enough time himself, having to dredge up his forgotten French lessons from his time of schooling in New York. How was Shuichi getting along here in Quebec? He supposed that he would have improved his language skills in English a little more, from his time in the US, but he wouldn’t have been able to pick up French at the same time!

Yuki then turned to the only other avenue that might be open to him. It was a long shot he thought. Shuichi was on his own now, so Yuki didn’t know if he would have stayed around these place. However, it was the only thing Yuki had left to him, so he began to make his way through the clubs. What had triggered that was an impromptu visit to a club, advertising an amateur singing night. He had seen the sign as he was walking past, and on impulse went in. He spoke to the manager, showing Shuichi’s photo, and been so surprised when the manager had indicated that he had seen him.

“Sure. He was in here a few nights ago. He’s really good. Hard to believe that he only started singing about a month ago with a couple of buddies in New York. Even though he’s got a bit of a problem with English, he can manage to sing pretty good.”

“Does he come in here often?” Yuki asked, nearly holding his breath.

The manager shook his head. “Haven’t seen him since then.”

Yuki felt dejected, another dead end.

“You could try the club down the corner.” the manager suddenly said helpfully. “They usually see most of the local clubbing crowd.”

“Thanks.” and Yuki left, feet dragging. He looked down the street in the direction the club manager had indicated. Should he bother? Was he being foolish to himself to even try? He stood there, staring down the street. In his mind’s eye, he could see a small figure, pink hair flying as Shuichi ran towards him. The vision clouded, and Yuki reached up to rub at his eyes. His knuckles came away wet. He stared at them, as though seeing them for the first time. He pressed his lips together tightly and raised his head, looking down the street. He would not give up! With a strong firm stride, and narrowed eyes, he walked down the street.

So began the club and pub-crawl through Quebec. Every place like that in Quebec City, Yuki had visited it, he was sure. He had seen every sort, from girl bars to boy bars, from S&M and every other kink you can imagine, to the plain and ordinary. Anywhere, that had music associated with it in any sort of way. At every venue that had music, singing or dancing, Yuki searched. At every one, Yuki asked the same question. At some, he received a positive sighting. Yes, Shuichi had been there at one time or another. At others, nothing. The photo Yuki carried with him constantly was becoming worn and creased. Yuki found that most nights he would spend time running his fingertips gently over the glossy surface, trying to smooth it out, to make it whole. He just wished he could do the same for his heart.

He continued his search, sleeping during most of the day, before hitting the night scene. Finally he found one club that told him that Shuichi was a fill-in DJ, coming in when he was needed, sometimes filling in someone’s shift, or helping out on special event nights. Yuki tried to explain the circumstances, why he was trying to find Shuichi, but they wouldn’t give out his phone number or address, no matter how much he asked. Something about a privacy policy for employees. What the fuck did he care about that! By that time, he had to leave before he lost his temper and did something drastic. Not that he would have regretted it. Far from it. The way he had been feeling at that time, he was sure he would have enjoyed every moment of what ever he did, but instead, he left. Being thrown in jail for assault would not make him find Shuichi any quicker, no matter how satisfying it would be.

Despite their unhelpfulness, it was the best lead that he had, so he returned there, night after night. He didn’t know how long it was going to take for Shuichi to be called in again, days, weeks? It didn’t matter, Yuki would be waiting here. He didn’t like these sorts of places. He hated the intense noise that drowned out everything else. He hated the pounding bass beat that vibrated from the floor and up through his body, jarring his nerves. He hated the thumping that went right through his head, leaving him with a splitting headache the next day. The smoke didn’t particularly bother him. He just added to it whilst he was there. And at least he had the alcohol to take the edge of things. Thank heavens for small mercies!

There had been that one night that he had thought his search was finally over. He had been drinking at the bar for some time, but that night the music had really been driving him mad. It was so bad he just couldn’t ignore it any longer. Snarling, he had picked up his drink and made his way to the stairs. Perhaps it would be better if he was upstairs, situated higher and away from the worst of the racket. He pushed through the jiggling, gyrating, swaying bodies that rubbed up against him, both male and female. He gritted his teeth. How he hated this place!

Finally he reached the semi-safety of the stairs. He still had to brush past the people standing and sitting on the stairs as he climbed them, but at least the crush wasn’t as bad as on the dance floor. He made his way over to the balcony, balancing his glass on the ledge there and lighting a cigarette. He leant forward and rested his elbows on the railing, looking down over the seething mass below him. He grimaced in distaste. The mere sight of all that crowded humanity made his stomach twist, and he shuddered. He didn’t like having to be so close to so many people like this.

His eyes drifted over the view, not really taking things in, not settling on any one place, when suddenly they jerked back to a spot. He stared, not believing it. Could it be? He leant forward, dangerously stretching over the railing to peer downwards through the smoke laden air. Was that…..could it be…..was that Shuichi?!

He continued to watch the young man his eyes had settled on. Was he imagining it? Were his eyes playing tricks on him? A flash of a profile, nothing more than a glimpse before the head turned again, showing Yuki only the back. His heart lurched in his chest. That had…..looked like him!

Turn around! Yuki screamed in his mind, his eyes trying to bore holes into the back of the head he was staring at so intently. For fuck’s sake, turn around! As though he had heard him, the young man did, turning fully around so Yuki could look fully upon his face. He saw the man swing his head from side to side as though looking for something, then give a small shrug before turning back to the people he was speaking to.

Yuki’s hands were clenched around the railing so hard his hands hurt. It was him! It was! Yuki spun away from the railing, not even noticing that his drink toppled from the ledge to shatter on the floor. He pushed violently past the people crowding the stairs, ignoring the shouts, and small screams as bodies stumbled and had to catch themselves ungracefully to avoid being knocked completely over. He reached the dance floor and kept pushing, shoving, forcing his way to the spot he had seen Shuichi. It was taking so long!

He finally reached the area and looked frantically around. Nothing, not a sign of him anywhere! Where?! Where did he go?! Yuki kept looking, kept pushing through the bodies surrounding him, ignoring everything around him, eyes constantly searching for just one person. He couldn’t see Shuichi anywhere, couldn’t even see the others he had been talking to. Where had they gone?!

Yuki finally stopped. He felt drained, exhausted. They weren’t there, he finally admitted to himself. Shuichi wasn’t here. Had he really been here? Yuki wondered. Had he really seen him? Or was it just a trick his mind was playing on him? Making him see the one thing that he wanted to see so badly.

Enough. He left and made his way back to his hotel, and spent the rest of the night getting drunk.

That had been three weeks ago. So here he was, once again. Back at the same place. Another night of no sleep, of pounding music thumping through his veins, smoke filling his lungs, lights assaulting his eyes. He ordered himself a beer, leaning on the counter, looking around. He raised the bottle to his lips, when something caught his eye.

Yuki froze where he stood. It was him. It was! He was certain. One hundred per cent certain. He looked a little different. His hair was much shorter, though a little longer at the back. He was much thinner, and more tanned. He looked over the figure, the face, taking it all in. It /was/ him! It was Shuichi! This time, he wasn’t mistaken!!

He felt himself begin to shake, his legs feeling like they would give way, collapsing him where he stood. His feet remained locked where they were. He couldn’t move. All he could do was stand there, and drink in the sight of the person across the crowded room.

The flashing lights, the loud music, the smoke and general noise, all faded into the background. All his senses, every portion of his being, was focused on one thing. One person.

Shuichi! He breathed the name, feeling his heart clench, his breathing increase. Oh, Shuichi!, as he drank in the sight of his long lost partner.

Suddenly he saw Shuichi move and disappear into the crowd. No! his mind screamed, panic finally releasing his body from its immobile state.

He hurriedly pushed through the crowded mass of bodies on the dance floor, ignoring the angry sounds that followed in his wake. His eyes were fixed on the spot where Shuichi had vanished from. He reached it, and began to frantically look around, straining his eyes through the haze, searching….searching. Where was he?! Yuki gazed over the heads of the crowds, his taller height providing some advantage.

He suddenly spotted him on the far side of the room, moving towards the exit. Yuki began to push his way there also. Shuichi reached the door first, slipping outside. No! Not again!! Yuki thrust harder and faster, finally breaking free of the masses and escaping into the night air. He looked urgently around. Where did he go?!

He spotted a short figure in the distance as the headlights of a car flicked past. It was Shuichi. Yuki saw him turn down a side street and he set off at a run, feet pounding on the pavement.

His long strides brought him to the spot where Shuichi had turned, so quickly he almost skidded around the corner. Only a few hundred metres in front of him was Shuichi.

“Shuichi!” he shouted, setting off running again. He saw the figure pause, then continue to walk.

“Shu!” Yuki called out again.

This time he saw Shuichi stop and turn. He closed the distance between them and halted, panting. He stood only about four feet from Shuichi.

Yuki feared he was hallucinating. The strain of the search, lack of sleep, the worry, all making him see his greatest wish. But he could see the air steam slightly as the boy breathed, as he looked at Yuki questioning.

It was that look that nearly undid Yuki. That look nearly brought him crashing to his knees in despair. It was the look of a stranger. There was no recognition in Shuichi’s face, no recognition in his eyes as they looked upon Yuki’s face. It was just the polite gaze of a stranger. Nothing more.

“Did you just call me?” he asked Yuki politely.

Yuki gulped back the sob that threatened to erupt at the sound of that well remembered voice. He swallowed hard. “Yes.” was all he could manage to get out.

Shuichi tipped his head to one side, a gesture that jerked at Yuki’s heart. “Ah, do I know you?’

His heart broke.

Yuki took a steadying breath, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. “Yes.” he answered, barely above a whisper. “From Japan.”

“Ah!” Shuichi said, reaching up a hand to his face and rubbing a temple lightly. They had already been conversing in Japanese.

He really doesn’t remember, Yuki thought, feeling his heart go out to Shuichi at his lack of memories.

“I knew you in Japan. Your....friends have been looking for you.”

Shuichi’s head camp up suddenly. “You know who I am?”

Yuki nodded. “Yes. Very well. It’s a long story, and there’s a lot to tell you…...”

Suddenly a cry interrupted them.

“Hey, Shu!”

Yuki turned to see a girl running towards them, waving. She was young, around Shuichi’s age, and quite pretty and obviously of Asian descent. She cast a curious glance at Yuki as she passed him, but then turned her attentions immediately to Shuichi.

Yuki watched as she flung herself into Shuichi’s arms, who caught her with a broad welcoming smile. They kissed passionately, and Yuki felt his chest tighten further. Once the couple had parted, the girl stood to one side, but they each kept an arm wrapped tightly around each other’s waists.

“Sorry, this is my girlfriend, Annette.” Shuichi introduced her. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember….”

“Yuki.” Yuki replied quickly. “Eiri Yuki.” Still there was no sign of recognition to the mention of his name.

Shuichi flashed him a grateful smile. “Ah, thanks. It’s a little awkward, isn’t it? You say you know me, but I can’t remember you. Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Yuki assured him quietly.

“Since you say you do know me, I would like to hear some more, honestly.” Shuichi glanced at his watch, and then the girl at his side, smiling at her. “But it’s a little late now. I mean, if I don’t remember for one more night, it’s not really going to make a lot of difference, is it?”

“No.” Yuki said, forcing the words past a throat swollen with repressed tears. “No, I guess it isn’t.”

“So, how about I meet you tomorrow night? Down at the boardwalk, the little café on the corner. Do you know the place?”

Yuki nodded. “Yes, I know it.”

“Great! I’ll meet you there after work, about 1am, if that’s not too late for you.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

I’ve been waiting all this time for you, Yuki thought gazing at that beloved face before him. I’ll always be waiting for you.

Yuki reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. “Here’s my card. My cell phone number is on it. Call me if anything changes.”

Shuichi took it, slipping it into his jacket. “Okay then! See you tomorrow night!” and he turned with a jaunty wave to walk away.

As Yuki watched him walk away, arm in arm with his girlfriend, he had to fight the urge to run after him, to rip him away from the girl, hold him and never let him go. Standing there and watching Shuichi walk away, watching the darkness of the night swallow him from his sight, was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do.

As the couple disappeared from view, he heard the girl asking “Who was that?”

And, more heartbreaking, was Shuichi’s answer as it drifted to Yuki on the night air, faint but still audible.

“I don’t know.”