Unchained Memories *complete*

Author: JadeHeart
Fandom: Gravitation
Warnings: bad language, violence, death.

Summary: The last days of Nittle Grasper after the New York incident with Kitazawa; Ryuichi’s dark past that changed him forever and the introduction of Kumagoro into his life; and the bonds that tie Tohma and Jim Harris together. (Side story to ‘The Key to My Heart’)

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this, apart from Jim Harris, Kerryn Middleton and Brian Turner; the rest belong to the creator of ‘Gravitation’.

-oOo-

Chapter 14


They rounded another corner when Jim said almost happily, “There he is!” and Tohma could see the man turn towards the waterfront. “That, I think, could be a good place to pin him down. Come on.”

They hurried along, trying to not lose sight of their man yet also not make it obvious to anyone observing that they actually were following that particular person.

As Tohma walked swiftly by Jim’s side he felt the frown creasing his brow. He stole another side-long glance at this friend and the frown deepened.

He had felt a growing unease over the last few days. To all appearances Jim seemed fine. He had approached this as he would any job he had to do. He had thought everything through, planned for all contingencies he could think of, developed a plan of attack and carried it out. He continued to go to work, arriving for his shifts at the station, carrying out his everyday tasks, always aware that there could be a mole planted watching his every move so doing nothing to arouse suspicion. He continued to take the necessary steps that could delay the proceedings exactly as ordered As long as the criminals thought they were getting what they wanted, they would continue to be lulled into thinking that he was cowered. Every night he returned home and answered the call that came to him from Kerryn’s kidnappers, asking for an update on his actions, playing the part of the desperate boyfriend.

Around that he would meet with Tohma fugitively, ensuring that no-one followed him or saw them together, so they could discuss their next step. They worked behind the scenes, trying to come up with some leads on where Kerryn might be being held and rapidly making progress although it meant both of them had to forgo sleep. Jim spent many long hours on the phone, calling in favours from any number of informants he had built over the years, slowly gathering information that might be useful.

As an extra insurance, Jim had told Tohma that he had also made some additional ‘arrangements’, just in case something happened to him, which Tohma hadn’t found reassuring in the least.

When Tohma worriedly questioned the wisdom of doing so Jim had replied, “Don’t worry. I left it with a good friend,” he said with a reassuring smile. “Brian will only look at it if something happens to me. I trust him on that.”

“Are you certain?” Tohma had queried.

Jim nodded, “Absolutely. If there is one person I would trust with my life, it’s Brian.”

Tohma had let the topic drop then. He had to trust that Jim truly did know what he was doing.

However, that extra ‘insurance’ was not what made him concerned. Why his worry had increased for his friend was exactly this calm manner that Jim now went about everything. Since that first moment when Jim had learnt that Kerryn had been taken, when Tohma had seen his friend go from complete shock, terrified disbelief, to crushing despair, since then Jim had been nothing but calm. Somehow Tohma felt it was wrong for Jim not to show any other emotion since. He barely mentioned Kerryn’s name even since that time as though afraid of saying it. Tohma couldn’t help but wonder what would happen when all those pent up emotions bubbled to the surface.

The man ahead slipped between some crates piled high on the dock and Jim slowed, holding up a finger to his lips to caution Tohma to silence. Tohma watched as Jim withdrew his gun, clicking the safety off before sliding it back into his pocket as he carefully moved forward.

Jim motioned Tohma to wait, which he did, and moved forward on his own. He could see his suspect leaning over a crate, crowbar in hand as he slid it under the lid.

“Busy, Larry?” Jim said, stepping out from the shadows and startling the man so much that he jumped back in surprise, the crowbar falling to the ground in a clatter as it was dropped.

“Ah...oh…er, Detective Harris,” The man struggled to put on a smile as though he was unconcerned by Jim’s sudden appearance. “How are you? Fancy meeting you here.”

“Yes,” Jim said, “It’s been quite a while, hasn’t it? Isn’t it a bit late for work?” Jim stepped forward and kicked the crowbar well away, sending it spinning across the ground into the darkness.

Larry’s eyes followed it as it vanished from sight before turning his attention back to Jim. “I was just doing a bit of checking. You know how it is.”

“Yeah,” Jim agreed, watching from the corner of his eye as Larry tried to edge around him as unobtrusively as possible. He made no move to try and head him off.

“I’ll just be off, okay Detective?” Larry mumbled, still sidling along. “Sorry to have bothered you so I’ll just be on my way.”

Jim saw Larry glance in the direction of what he thought was freedom, obviously intending to make a sudden break for it when the man froze, eyes fixed on one spot. Jim followed his look and saw Tohma standing there. He was nothing more than a shadow really, his features shrouded in the shifting darkness but his mere presence was enough to make Larry give up on the idea of fleeing.

Jim saw Larry lick his lips nervously, could almost see his agile mind quickly reassessing the situation as he now realized that Jim wasn’t on his own. “This is a bit out of your normal beat, isn’t it Detective?” He began in a conversational tone. His smile was a little queasy though. He was obviously extremely uncomfortable being here with Jim.

“Oh, not really,” Jim said conversationally. “I was just following up on a few things.” He smiled broadly at Larry. “I thought you might be able to give me a hand here.”

Larry smiled back, although it trembled a little. “Oh, you know me, Detective. I’m always happy to help if I can.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I thought ‘Larry the Limey’ was the perfect person to have a chat to. It was good fortune bumping into you like this tonight, wasn’t it?”

“Ah, yeah. Yeah, it was.” Not for one moment did Larry think that this was just a coincidence. He was fully aware that Jim must have been following him and he was just as obviously very uncomfortable with knowing that.

“So what’s been up?” Jim asked casually, reaching into his jacket pocket and withdrawing his cigarette packet. He placed one between his teeth and drew it out.

“Nothing much,” Larry said quickly. “It’s been real quiet, you see.”

“Really?” Jim replied, turning his head to look at his suspect. “I’d heard otherwise. You’ve been playing with the ‘big boys’ again.”

Jim saw Larry almost wince and knew he’d hit the mark.

“Look, Detective, I’m not looking for any trouble.” Larry almost pleaded, desperation beginning to colour his voice.

Jim suddenly moved, fast on his feet for someone so tall, and made Larry stumble backwards to bring up hard against the stacked crates as Jim’s hand slammed against the wood beside Larry’s head.

Jim glared down at the man before him, pinning him with his gaze. “Well, you’ve found it,” he grated out. He maintained his lock on the other’s eyes. “Now cut the bullshit.”

“Honestly I don’t know anything!” Larry said, eyes wide.

Suddenly Jim stepped back, giving Larry space once more. “Oh well, I guess you don’t have anything to tell me then,” he said, turning his back on the other man.

Tohma blinked in surprise from the shadows. After all the effort they had put into this, was Jim just going to let this man walk away?

Larry stared at Jim’s turned back for just a moment longer and then bolted past him, making a break for freedom. Tohma sucked in his breath as he saw Jim stick his foot out and trip the fleeing man, causing him to stumble, arms flailing as he desperately tried to catch his balance again but his impetus was too great and he fell heavily into a stack of crates, which tottered for a moment and then crashed downwards, falling on the hapless man also.

Jim slowly turned and walked to where Larry was groaning on the ground, one hand clutching a shoulder, blood trickling from a cut on the head.

“Now, let’s start again shall we?” he said, kneeling down in front of Larry, head tilted to one side and waiting for the man to speak. “You were saying?”

“Nothing,” Larry muttered. “I didn’t say nothing.”

Jim reached up and shoved a crate that was still half balanced on the pile so it fell heavily next to Larry, one corner grazing the man’s arm on its descent.

“Ow!” Larry clutched at the injury, staring up at Jim in shock.

“Now I’m running out of patience,” Jim growled in a low voice.

“You can’t do this!” Larry squeaked. “This is police brutality!”

“Prove it,” Jim said in a deadly quiet voice, eyes boring into the man before him. “I haven’t laid a hand on you. Now, I would like you to tell me everything you know about what your bosses are up to. But first of all you’re going to tell me where they’re holding my girl.”

“I can’t do that!” Larry gasped out, reaching back and using the crates for support to gain his feet. He shook his head once he was standing. “I’d be dead if I said anything to you!”

“That would be a pity,” Jim agreed, stepping back also.

That was the break Larry had been waiting for and he took it, but before he’d gone more than a couple of steps a hard shove from behind sent him crashing back into another stack of crates in this confined area. He was spun around and slammed back first into more, feeling the sharp corners digging painfully into his spine, making him cry out.

He looked up to see Jim standing before him, just watching him. He’d had his run-ins with this detective before, over many a year, but he’d never seen him like this, nor had he ever heard of this man ever behaving like this before. Things like that got around so you knew just how much trouble you were likely to be in depending upon which cop got you. The word on the street was that Detective Harris was a ‘good sort’ – as far as cops went.

Now, looking at this man before him, Larry was beginning to feel real fear.

“Let’s start again,” Jim said quietly, one hand reaching into his pocket. He slowly drew his gun out, clicking the safety off. “Where is she?”

Larry watched the gun in Jim’s hands like a rabbit caught in the car lights, his heart pounding. “You know what’ll happen if I say anything!” he cringed.

“I...don’t...care,” Jim enunciated slowly, his voice cold. “Tell me.”

Larry pressed his lips together and shook his head, his fear of his bosses’ retaliation far greater at this point.

Jim reached out suddenly and grabbed one of Larry’s arms, spinning the hapless man around and propelling him into the crates once more.

Larry’s face hit the wood bruisingly but before he could move away a hand on the back of his head, fingers tangling painfully in his hair, pulled his head back before hitting it hard against the wood before him. He groaned and slumped to the ground as he was released, hands automatically going to his injured face.

Watching this action playing out before him caught Tohma completely by surprise. He knew Jim had intimated there could be some form of violence but at the same time he hadn’t truly expected it to happen like this. He hadn’t expected that Jim himself would be instigating it.

Larry raised his head and stared up at Jim towering over him, blood trickling from a split lip, shock in his eyes. Jim reached down and gathered a handful of Larry’s shirt in his fist, dragging him upright and drawing him in close again so their noses were almost touching, giving him a hard shake. “Now talk,” he snarled, “What do you know about my girl? Where is she?”

“I don’t know!” Larry gasped out.

“Wrong answer,” Jim said almost calmly and threw the other man into the crates once more, sending another pile crashing down. Tohma was beginning to be concerned about the level of noise they were making. Surely someone would come and investigate shortly?

Jim hauled the informer to his feet. “Try again,” he said. “Where?”

“I…can’t! Please!” Larry begged, the blood from the cut on his brow gleaming wetly.

“Try again!” Jim hissed and shoved him into another pile. He gave Larry no time to get his bearings this time and immediately dragged him to his feet.

“Please,” Larry pleaded. “Don’t.”

“Tell me,” Jim said simply, placing the barrel of the gun against the man’s temple. “I don’t have time to waste.”

Larry seemed to slump in his hands, head falling down dejectedly. “You’re… too late,” he whispered.

Even from where Tohma stood that soft whisper carried on the still night air to his ears and made his heart clench. Jim seemed to freeze in place, his face going blank and it seemed that the temperature in the area dropped noticeably, like the feel before an impending storm, sending an icy shiver down Tohma’s spine.

Jim’s hands fell to his sides and the silence seemed deafening. “When?” he half whispered.

“The day after,” Larry confirmed, turning his head away, obviously uncomfortable with the information he was imparting. His voice was still soft and Tohma could hear the pain there. Obviously Larry took no pleasure in this – either the imparting of the news or the action that was taken. “Once they knew they had you and you were in too deep, they figured they didn’t need her then.”

The silence was deafening as this tableau held, none of them moving. Larry made no attempt to escape although now was probably his perfect opportunity to do so.

Suddenly Jim reached out and gripped the front of Larry’s shirt again, almost lifting the smaller man onto his toes. “If that’s the case, then show me where,” he grated out, his voice almost breaking on the last word.

Larry shook his head, hands going up to grip Jim’s wrists. “I don’t know!”

Jim pulled him in close, glaring at him. “Do you want to start this again? I’ve got all night if need be.”

Larry met Jim’s gaze and then defeat crossed his face. “Look, I’ll tell you. Just let me go.”

“Oh no, you’re coming with us,” was Jim’s response, turning and dragging the man beside him.

Larry tried to dig his heels in. “No, I don’t want to. If they find out I helped you they’ll kill me!”

Jim halted abruptly and the gun in his hand rose and rested directly between Larry’s eyes. “You can always die now,” Jim hissed, spittle touching Larry’s face.

What Larry saw in Jim’s face obviously convinced him for his shoulders slumped and his protests ceased. Jim dragged him along, literally by the collar, as they headed back to the main roads and his vehicle, Tohma falling into step beside him.


Tohma took the wheel this time. He didn’t often drive but Jim sat in the back on this journey, keeping a close eye on their unwilling guest. Following Larry’s directions, and with additional navigation provided by Jim, Tohma was able to bring them finally to their destination across the other side of town.

They all exited the vehicle, Jim maintaining a grip on Larry’s arm, and looked at the location. It was a new construction site, silhouettes of cranes and scaffolding seen against the night sky. They followed Larry around the perimeter before entering through a section of fencing where the chain had been discreetly cut and merely looped around the pole.

“So that’s the ‘tradesmen’s entrance’, huh?” Jim said to Larry.

“The bosses and their boys have a key to the site office,” Larry replied. “The rest of us come in this way so we aren’t seen.”

“We’d wondered about this place,” Jim continued, turning to speak to Tohma, sounding so normal that it startled him. Jim still didn’t let go of his firm grip on Larry’s collar. “There had been rumours it had been bought by the mob but it was difficult to prove. The original owners had to sell up after a suspicious fire destroyed their place, then a few other problems hit them as well whilst they tried to refinance. Before they knew it they were forced to sell, well below market value, as they needed the quick cash to try and settle the debts they suddenly found themself with. We all thought it stunk but we couldn’t pin anything on anyone, which was frustrating as hell.”

He now turned back and gave Larry a shake, like a terrier shaking a rat. “So where now?”

“You sure you want to know?” Larry said, looking at Jim worriedly. When Jim said nothing he raised one hand to point into the darkness, voice shaking. “Over there.”

He really was afraid, Tohma thought, following. Though whether it was Jim or the retaliation of the mob that created that fear he didn’t know. A beam of light suddenly appeared before them and Tohma realised Jim was now carrying a flashlight.

“You’re very prepared,” Tohma said, carefully stepping over a protruding metal bar.

“Better to be safe than sorry,” Jim replied absently. The flashlight wasn’t large but obviously powerful, throwing out a respectfully bright beam that spread before them as they continued on their way.

“Are we likely to meet up with any other….guests?” Tohma queried quietly.

“I don’t think so,” Larry answered, “I hadn’t heard there were any jobs that required them to be here for.”

“Let’s take it easy, just in case,” Jim said. “We don’t want to attract any undue attention.”

They continued on in silence for a time more as Larry lead them through a maze of construction work of half erected walls and roof formwork, heading towards the back of the lot.

“Here,” Larry suddenly said, coming to a stop.

They all halted and looked at the area of open ground before them.

This area had obviously recently been cleared and compacted ready for the laying of the concrete foundations. Tohma noticed that one half had already had the formwork laid and the curing concrete further back showed the steady progress being made. From the positioning of the work he suspected that tomorrow would bring a return of the concrete truck to finish the job fully.

Tohma turned his head to look at Jim who still stood, just silently looking over the area.

“Now where?” he asked quietly.

Larry pointed to the centre of one of the barren areas, not saying anything.

Jim released his hold on Larry and walked forward, leaning over to work fingers into the metal grid laid down and grunted as he heaved. Tohma hurried forward and grabbed one side, then much to his surprise, Larry did the same. Between the three of them they removed three gratings so only the bare sandy ground now lay before them.

Silently Jim turned and disappeared into the darkness, a moment later returning with a shovel in hand. Without another word he began to dig. Tohma watched, noting how carefully Jim was pushing the spade into the soil, slowly and carefully removing the sand. He made no move to try and help. Unconsciously he knew that he had no place in this now.

He glanced at the man still standing at his side. Larry had made no move to leave either, a fact that surprised Tohma. However the look of sadness on the man’s face led Tohma to believe that perhaps Larry wasn’t truly a ‘bad’ man. He didn’t seem to be at all pleased to be involved with this incident, or in knowing anything about it.

Suddenly Tohma saw Jim pause, shovel half-way out of the hole. Tohma stepped forward. “Jim?” he softly queried and then stopped, gagging against the reflex to vomit as in the beam of torchlight he could see the pale hand that rested on the shovel head.

Jim didn’t answer him but instead dropped the shovel and fell to his knees, hands frantically dragging the sand away. Tohma could hear Jim’s harsh rapid breathing with every scoop of sand thrown aside. Unable to turn his eyes away, Tohma could only watch as Jim slowly began to unearth an arm, then shoulders and finally the back of a head.

Jim’s gasping sob was heartbreakingly loud as he drove both hands deep into the sand, dragging at the shoulder, trying to lift the body clear of its resting place. He pulled weakly, as though he’d lost all strength, all the while those gasps continued brokenly. Tohma watched as Jim was finally able to heave the still body up, rolling it over into his lap. He watched as one shaking hand reached up and pushed the sand caked hair from the still face, as it gently tried to brush the coating sand from the pale face with closed eyes.

Tohma could only watch as Jim looked down upon the face of his beloved Kerryn and felt tears build in his own eyes as he saw the man begin to rock slowly, bundling the limp form into his arms to hold it closer to his chest. Soft words fell from Jim’s lips, words that Tohma couldn’t hear, but the tone of endearment was clear enough; the love, the pleading, the grief.

A hand stroked through the hair again, fingers tangling in the knots around a dark shadow that marred the strands at the back of the head and Tohma almost gagged again as he realised that he was most likely seeing just how Kerryn had been killed. Jim seemed oblivious to that at this time, drawing Kerryn closer to him again, lifting her so he could rest his face against her cold chilled cheek, his eyes closed as he continued to whisper to her.

After seemingly eons of time had passed Jim slowly and gently lowered Kerryn to the ground, one hand lingering to touch her cheek. Then suddenly he surged to his feet and flung himself at Larry, so quickly that Tohma didn’t even have enough time to be startled by this move.

Jim’s lunge had carried the two men past Tohma who now spun around to see what was happening, in time to see Jim’s punch send Larry crashing to the ground.

“You bastards,” Jim was grating out through clenched teeth as he dragged the man to his feet and proceed to pummel him violently. “You murdering fucking bastards!”

Jim dragged Larry up again and Touma could see the blood dribbling from Larry’s nose, his bloodied face looking frightful in the dim yellow light from the torch.

As Jim kneed Larry in the stomach and then punched him again, Tohma didn’t know what he should do as his friend bore down on the beaten man once more. He watched as Jim dragged Larry up, punching him once, than again on the opposite side, the skin over one eye splitting so blood trickled down over a face that was already rapidly swelling with bruising.

That was enough for Tohma.

“Jim!” he yelled out, shocked by the ferocity he was witnessing from his friend. Jim had always seemed a gentle man, not weak by any means but gentle all the same. This animalistic rage was not something Tohma had expected to ever witness from his friend and it seemed so wrong to be doing so now.

“Jim!” he called again when it seemed that Jim hadn’t heard him the first time, fists continuing to fall on a face with eyes unable to even open.

Tohma saw the dark splatter of blood across the ground, the gleam of white as a tooth fell with the globules of blood from a ruined mouth. Larry was no longer even able to defend himself, hanging limply in Jim’s hands as he continued to strike him.

Jim suddenly released the bloodied and limp form to let it fall motionless to the ground as he stepped back, reaching into his jacket, his breath coming in harsh pants.

Tohma now acted unconsciously, running forward as Jim withdrew his gun, clicking off the safety and aiming it at the bloody wreck of humanity at his feet.

No, not again! He couldn’t watch as the same events repeated themselves. Overlaid on Jim and Larry, Tohma saw Eiri and Kitazawa. The gun pointing downwards was clasped in Eiri’s inexperienced and fearful hands, not Jim’s skilled and knowledgeable ones. Either way Tohma could not let this play out like this – he wouldn’t lose someone else to such horror and despair. He wouldn’t let another soul be crushed by such an action.

When Tohma flung himself between the two protagonists he truly no longer knew just who he was trying to protect – Eiri of the past, or Jim of the present.

“Don’t!” he cried out, throwing himself between the two figures. He could see the gun quivering in Jim’s grasp and was certain it wasn’t from fear or hesitation. The eyes that met his were hard, cold and completely devoid of expression.

Dead, Tohma thought, his heart clenching in pain. His eyes look dead.

“Get...out...of...my...way!” Jim hissed every word being dragged through clenched teeth.

“No,” Tohma replied in an even voice, though he was anything but calm inside. He truly felt, for the first time, really afraid of Jim.

Jim just raised the gun, centring it on Tohma’s chest. “This bullet can go right through you and get that fucker too.” Jim said, almost matter-of-factly.

“Is that what you really want?” Tohma queried, keeping his voice even. He maintained his gaze on Jim, not letting it waver. “It won’t change anything, will it?”

“I…don’t…..care,” was Jim’s answer. The gun didn’t move.

“Jim, I won’t let you become a murderer,” Tohma said quietly. “I owe that to Kerryn.”

For a moment Tohma thought he had miscalculated in mentioning Kerryn’s name for he saw the gun twitch in Jim’s hand and fully expected to hear the sharp report and the slam of a bullet in his body but instead there was just silence.

He watched silently as the gun shook more violently in Jim’s hand before falling to the ground as Jim dropped to his knees. He saw Jim raise his open hands and stare at them for a moment and then raise his head and release a scream to the night sky that was so raw that it seemed to rip Tohma’s heart out. As the scream died away, Jim’s head dropped into his hands to cover his face as his shoulders shook.

Tohma heard movement then behind him and glanced round to see Larry struggling to his feet.

“I would suggest that you get away from here immediately,” Tohma said almost conversationally. “I don’t believe it would be a good idea for you to mention this to anyone, do you?”

Larry looked at Tohma, then at the huddled Jim, before his gaze flicked over to the still form of Kerryn lying crumpled on the ground. He shook his head then began to shuffle off into the darkness as quickly as he could.

Tohma now stepped towards Jim and dropped to his knees before him. He reached out and grasped his wrists, drawing those hands away. The face that he saw was one filled with pain, a deep etched pain that words couldn’t describe. He gazed into Jim’s dull eyes, seeming devoid of any emotion except pain.

“Cry,” he said softly. “Cry for her.”

Jim suddenly wrenched one hand free and reached out, grasping a handful of Tohma’s jacket and pulling him closer. Tohma wondered if it would now be his turn to bear the wrath of Jim’s pain but as he watched he saw the man’s lips tremble and the eyes slowly fill with moisture.

He slowly raised a hand and touched the tear that began to slide down Jim’s cheek. “It’s over,” he whispered. “Let go.”

Jim’s other hand came up and gripped Tohma as the first had done but now he dropped his head to rest on Tohma’s chest, shoulders shaking under Tohma’s hand. At first there was only silence, then the deep sobs began, sobs that shook the very depths of this man, reaching deep into his soul and drawing out all the pain and fears he had been burying. Tohma just held him in the darkness as the hot tears soaked his shirt and the body resting on his knees continued to shake, and the hands clung to him tightly as though holding onto the only lifeline that was left.