Zoro Learns Some Manners

…so I’m just borrowing them for the sake of Yaoi. Once I’m done then I promise to wipe them off and give them back ;) Any resemblance to real people is coincidental - these characters are pure fantasy!

Warning: contains a lot of very strong language and steamy Yaoi / boysecks (Zoro x Sanji)

Apologies for the lengthy exposition - and the delay with the chapter. Getting Zoro to explain himself is like pulling teeth ;)


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Sanji stood on the deck of the Merry with his hands in his pockets and took in the scene on the docks. Shops were open, with canopies shading people who were drinking tea and coffee from the sun. He could smell the rich aroma of a light roasted blend on the breeze. He would have to try to find some nice coffee for Nami and Chopper. They preferred something more delicate than what suited Robin.


He had gotten used to the individual tastes of the crew pretty quickly and he enjoyed surprising them with a treat when he could. Nami would turn her long lashed eyes on him and thank him for being so considerate… Her gratitude was more than enough reward for any feat of love! Might have to try to find marimo some green tea as well. He liked to drink it sometimes at night and it was hard to find in the Grand Line. No harm in just having a look in case there was some around. Idiot had better be grateful.


The sun was shining and there was a gentle breeze, just enough to lift up skirts and just warm enough to wear them. Perfect weather. Nami wasn’t wearing one unfortunately, but she looked gorgeous anyway. So did Robin.


Of course.


Zoro still looked worse for wear after his rather indecent night on the deck. At the moment all the cook could see of him was a tiny tuft of green sticking out behind a tower of supplies and junk. Nami had decided there were some things they could trade and a few extra tools they needed so Zoro had landed the job of pack mule. Again. Now the swordsman was edging down the gangplank very slowly, craning, and trying to see around his load so he didn’t cartwheel into the sea. The muscles in his arms bulged and his back rippled under his thin white t-shirt. Even though he wasn’t carrying much, a light film of sweat added shine to his rich dark skin. Sanji chewed his lip thoughtfully as he watched the swordsman stumble onto the dock, nearly loosing the top of his pile in the process. He would be useless in a fight for at least a few hours. His long suffering body had obviously lost its centre of balance after being subjected to such abuse. But then if Sanji drank as much as Zoro, as often as Zoro, on a ship sailing the rough waters of the Grand Line...


It made him feel queasy just thinking about it.


Zoro finally regained his balance and was escorted away by Nami to find the closest thing they had here to a market. Sanji was tempted to go and have a look himself just to see what sort of food they had but he knew that they were staying for a few days at least so it was probably better to wait. Not that a stay was ever guaranteed, but he had made sure they had enough supplies to last even if Luffy got up to his usual tricks. That boy really was the king of creative exits…


Luffy had jumped ashore and started running wildly in circles taking everything in. When he finally calmed down a little, he decided he was hungry so he told Nami that he was taking the rest of the crew to find a bar for lunch. He had taken a single large gold coin from the spoils from Vesper Island and declared it the Captain’s share - dedicated to team building.


Well, not in as many words.


The idea of actually trying to get along had caused a lot of groans from Zoro and Usopp, but Sanji was more than happy to build teams. As long as he could be in a team with Nami and Robin. Maybe Zoro when he woke up. Although he did look kind of cute with his eyes all screwed up against the forget-me-not blue sky, even if he was hung over and slightly useless.


The swordsman tripped on an uneven stone and staggered left, then over corrected right and staggered back the other way nearly knocking over one of the more lovely specimens gracing the docks with their radiant beauty.


Make that very useless.


“Hey Sanji! You coming?” Luffy called out from the other end of the stone paved street.


Sanji gathered his thoughts, and took a last look at the couple of lovely ladies in view while he ground out his smoke.


“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.”


The cook enjoyed the stroll along the bustling streets to the nearest bar. Luffy seemed to be holding out so far. The blonde had been preparing for the worst, but now he thought that maybe he had been a bit harsh. He had bailed the Captain into a corner that night and told him in hushed tones to keep his damn mouth shut. No matter what, Nami and Robin could not know anything. Luffy had opened his rubber mouth to protest but Sanji had managed to silence him with a look of violence and desperation. Luffy had understood. Even if he could be oblivious, he had a heart that bled like no-one else.


The streets were lined with one and two story thatched cottages and sweet smelling smoke spiralled up in the air from scattered cooking fires. Sanji smelt unknown herbs and began to fantasise about what he would order for lunch. Before he knew it, Luffy was shoving him into a low doorway and babbling about beer made from meat.


Sanji scanned the pub and then went to sit down. It was only once he’d turned his back that he fully registered what he had just seen. At the other end of the bar, curled up in the corner on a red velvet couch, sat the most gorgeous couple that the cook had ever seen. A perfect pair of beauties, both with long black hair and dressed in figure hugging black satin, open wide at the neck. Her neckline revealed a heaving creamy white bosom, his showing defined ripples of muscle drawing the eye ever further south. The cook stole a glance over his shoulder, just to confirm that they were real. They were. With his nose cupped in a handkerchief, Sanji went to find a seat where he could watch this exquisite pair in comfort.


He couldn’t figure out which one he wanted more. The woman had high proud cheek bones and a figure that was pure heaven. She smiled sweetly and whispered in the man’s ear as she twirled his hair between her fingers. He looked up with bright green eyes and caught her hand, kissing it before he released it. His face was long and his almond shaped eyes added to his feminine beauty. This was the sort of man that Sanji had always loved. Sensual lips and soft skin… he was dramatically splayed across the couch displaying as much of his bare chest as possible. He was young - the same age as Luffy probably - and charismatic. He had one arm cradled around his lady’s slender waist and the other held a drink high as he laughed and made a toast.


Luffy leapt onto a bar stool and started to order everything he could pronounce on the menu. After that, he made Sanji order the rest. He didn’t mind, at least there was a chance that the rest of them would get some dinner that way. The cook found a limited wine list and went through it with Robin until they had settled on something that sounded decent. It was lovely to have someone on the crew who appreciated the finer things in life. He had a feeling that Robin had missed out on so much and he loved the look of surprise and joy on her face when she tried something for the first time, and loved it.


He was finding it hard to focus on Robin though. He loved to talk to her and she was as charming as ever… but he couldn’t help watching the dark haired couple out of the corner of his eye. They were so exotic… such dark hair but such pale skin, long fine bones, and full generous figures. Between them, and Robin leaning in to point at the various choices on the menu, the cook was in sensory overload. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears as Robin’s soft smell of ink and coffee wafted over him. How blissful… He ended up just staring into middle distance, drooling ever so slightly.


When Sanji came back to his senses, he realised he was staring at a crotch. He blinked and looked up into stern dark eyes. Zoro looked at the cook and then swivelled to look at the couple draped on the couch and then turned to face the cook again, his eyebrow raised quizzically.


Sanji glanced around for something else to stare at, flustered by Zoro’s calm penetrating gaze. He didn’t have to look for long. Behind Zoro, Nami had come in with a triumphant smile.


“Robin, we are going shopping tomorrow!” She beamed and the bag in her left hand clinked as she threw it up and caught it. “I’ll just go and pay for our rooms.”


The redhead strolled off towards the bar and Sanji realised that marimo had taken a seat in the darkest corner and was already into the sake. His colour was starting to return to normal. No-one else would even be able to look at alcohol but Zoro… well. He seemed to be a real glutton for punishment.


Amongst other things…


The wine was brought out and Sanji got the pleasure of seeing Robin’s face light up when she tried it. The food came, and it was pretty good. Simple, filling and hearty. Good food for sea faring men who needed the energy to survive in a world of storms, fights, and wild fortunes. Nami was happy because she had made more at the market than she had hoped, so he was happy too. Plus, marimo came out of his corner and enjoyed his meal. He was almost civilised after he’d finished three sakes and then finally gone on to water. It couldn’t be good for him… the cook mused as he lit a cigarette.


Luffy was the one who had behaved a bit weird. First after ordering dinner, he actually sat down and waited for it to come all the way out of the kitchen. Then he ate his food. No-one else’s. He even chewed. Robin had narrowed her eyes and looked the Captain over before grinning and continuing her meal. Sanji wondered if this was a part of Luffy’s plan to have a quiet holiday. Not causing a massive bar fight probably was a good start. Especially considering what had happened last time. Damn Luffy. He was just a *tad* enthusiastic.


So, he wasn’t very reliable but he could certainly do the unexpected sometimes. Maybe Sanji could get a quiet night alone with the swordsman before he got ditched… Nothing wrong with a little something to remember him by. They’d had a couple of nice moments in between the fighting and the abuse. Sanji sighed and pondered what he was going to do. Contingency plans all the way. Zoro was so damn random though… he was hard to predict. Hmmm. He’d need to hedge his bets… Actually…


The cook had sidled over to the navigator and offered her a bet that Luffy could last the next twenty-four hours without getting into trouble. Her eyes lit up with berri signs and she took the bet in a second. Sanji had his doubts that Luffy could manage it. Nami betting against it certainly made it look bad… she only ever put money on a sure thing. Still, he hoped that it would happen. No harm in being optimistic, right? Worst case, Nami-san would get a kick out of winning. Maybe she would finally agree to go on a date. It was nice to think about at least. Better than the ‘situation’ with Zoro.


If there was a situation. Sanji couldn’t even tell. Cryptic bloody marimo.


It had been so simple to just sleep with him. All too easy. Now he was addicted. In a lifetime of one night stands, Sanji had felt this overwhelming sexual infatuation before but it had never lasted. With the ones he had been able to see again, the passion was slowly lost each time. Not with Zoro. Every time he felt that hard hot body against his own he needed it more desperately. He was even waking up in the middle of the night with the taste of steel on his moist lips… But he didn’t want to commit to anyone. No way. He was quite happy watching the lovely ladies, and romancing his way across the Grand Line.


Though he did want to be able to drag Zoro off and just fuck him senseless from time to time. Maybe a lot of the time. Was that so much to ask?


The cook sighed one last time for good measure. All this introversion was making him feel stuffy. He decided that he needed a little air and went outside for an after dinner smoke. Their meal had stretched on for so long it ended up being an after tea smoke. It was now a cold, clear night, and a band of stars stretched from one end of the sky to the other. It was always so clear here… much more than in East or North Blue. He looked up at the stars and wished he could see what they saw. The same stars that he could see would be shining down on All Blue.


He walked a little way along the cobbled street, and watched leaves twirl in the wind. He felt the swordsman before he saw him. Even though it was only the hint of a presence, Sanji knew it was him. He was coming to end it already.


So much for the damn optimism.


No. Mr. Prince did not give up so easily. Maybe Zoro had just come out to give him a head job up against an alley wall.


That’s more like it. You can do this.


“Cook.”


The swordsman had decided. He didn’t know how he felt about the cook and the little he did know, he didn’t like. There was one question he needed to know the answer to before he confronted this thing. One thing he needed to say in order to see the blonde’s reaction. This might be a huge risk or it might just pass by unnoticed... he never knew what would snatch his attention. Maybe Luffy was right, damn cook was a mystery.


“Zoro.” Sanji turned and loosened his tie. He raised one curly inquisitive eyebrow.


The swordsman stared at him.


“Don’t worry, I’ll leave it on.” The blonde said, wiggling the tie with a smirk. Might as well go down in a blaze of glory.


“I wanted to talk to you” Zoro said. Kind of obvious, but it was words, which was impressive for marimo. Sanji kept the act going in his mind. It helped him to cope with the serious look in Zoro’s eyes.


No head then.


“Then talk.”


“Why don’t you want anyone to see us together?”


What?


“Because I don’t want Nami and Robin to find out.” Obvious.


“So what if they did?” Zoro leaned up against a brick wall and crossed his arms.


“I… uh…” They wouldn’t want to date a man who had a beast like Zoro sweating all over him. They were too refined.


Zoro narrowed his dark eyes and the moon cast shadows over his face. “You really think they’re so closed minded that they’d think less of you ‘cause you’re fucking a man?” He asked.


“No… I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” Sanji ground out his smoke and stared at his shoe.


“I do” the swordsman replied. “They’re going to find out anyway. It’s a small ship.”


“No. This is between you and me. No-one else.” Sanji glared into those dark eyes. No way was he telling Nami and Robin about this. What would Zoro say anyway? ‘Oh by the way, I’ve been fucking your love-cook’s tight ass on the table that you’re eating off right now.’ Great. Real crowd pleaser.


Zoro stared back. Cool and level. Always so fucking calm whenever anything was going wrong. Like he just retreated into his happy place and left the world to its own devices. What had he said the other week?


‘Leave it to luck’


That was right. Typical. Zoro would just calmly threaten everything that meant anything to the cook and then just go back to Testosterone City, Gruntsville like nothing had happened.


Zoro stared at him with clouded dark eyes. Stubborn eyes. He was not going to win this one though.


“No! Don’t do it. I swear I’ll fu..”


“SANJI! ZORO!” Nami’s voice.


Zoro scowled and turned to stroll back to the pub. Sanji caught his shoulder and held him fast.


“Don’t do it” he said. Somewhere along the line his tone had changed it from a threat to a plea.


He expected Zoro to flay him with a look of pure scorn. Maybe throw him against the wall and scream... But probably just glare at him and say ‘Fine. That’s it then. It's over.’


…and walk away.


Instead, Zoro’s lips twinged with a wry smile. He looked like a man who got just what he expected. Acceptance and disappointment. He just moved his head in the tiniest nod and turned away.


The cook would have preferred screaming.


He stared at Zoro’s back as it disappeared around the corner. What the fuck was marimo thinking?!


Trust Zoro to find a way to shake things up. Sanji swore that the idiot thrived on conflict. What the hell can you do with a man like that?


Was he really considering telling Nami and Robin? He looked serious enough... Sanji thought he wouldn’t want everyone knowing they were sleeping together either. He was so damn butch. Why would he want people all up and down the Grand Line saying that he was gay? Zoro probably just didn’t give a shit what people thought, but what about him? What about Sanji the ladies man? If they knew he would be relegated to picking outfits at slumber parties for all eternity!


“Sanji-kun!!!” Nami’s voice cut through the still air, she was calling his name... how bitter-sweet life could be.


“Hai Nami-schwan!” he called out. He paused and considered the night sky one last time. Zoro hadn’t given him the speech, but somehow Sanji had disappointed him. Well that made two of them. Zoro probably only wanted everyone to know so he could have sex whenever he wanted to. He wouldn’t have considered what it meant for the cook if everyone knew what was going on.


Damn marimo was empathy-retardant after all.


Sanji put his hands in his pockets and prepared his best nothing-to-see-here smile. Maybe Nami wouldn’t care. Maybe it would turn her on...


Maybe she would scream and beat him off the ship with the Clima Tact after several lightning strikes to the testicles.


Fucking baka-bushido.


Why’d he always have to make shit complicated?


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Not interested. He wasn’t interested at all.


Zoro sat at the bar and contemplated his drink. One for a tonic then one for bed. This was not much of a night for drinking. Nami had just wanted to tell them the sleeping arrangements. She was in with Robin, Usopp and Luffy had a room, and he was stuck with the damn cook and Chopper.


Yay.


Luffy’s face had fallen when he heard. Zoro knew he always liked to be in with Chopper. They often stayed up half the night talking nonsense. Sea shanties, myths, adventures, philosophy... mostly just whatever bizarre rantings entered Luffy’s head. The swordsman figured that was what Nami was trying to avoid. There was probably nothing like Luffy raving at full steam ahead to ruin your beauty sleep. Didn’t bother him, of course. He could sleep through anything.


The people that Sanji was staring at were gone. Staring probably wasn’t the right term for it. It was more like he was sexually assaulting them with his eyes. Damn pervert. As if he wasn’t disturbing enough for women without going completely spastic every time he saw someone attractive. What was so hot about the posers anyway? All about their looks and no substance. They were like cardboard cut-outs.


He was distracted by a clatter on the other side of the room. He glanced over. Luffy was being punched in the face by a guy with a ridiculous moustache. It looked like something had died while trying to crawl up his nose. The Captain was in a head lock. He was grinning and trying to talk to the guy between hits.


“Come o..n you d..on’t h..ave to b..e so gr..ump..y!”


A smile quivered on Zoro’s lips as his left hand travelled slowly down his side to meet the hilt of the cursed blade. The smile spread to a sadistic curl as he drained his drink and turned from his seat to face the unlucky soul who had such bad timing. The smile reached his eyes and leant them a demonic glint as he drew his blade and strode over to where Luffy sat. His rubbery head was being ground into the table.


“Oi” Zoro levelled the katana at the moustache and tried to decide what sort of haircut would suit the man.


“No Zoro!” Luffy called out. His voice was slightly muffled by a mouthful of wood but it was clear enough.


Zoro knelt down and looked Luffy in the eyes, completely ignoring the man now slamming his head into the table.


“What?”


“Just leave it.”


Zoro scowled. What a shit night.


“Really?” He whined. Damn a fight would be good...


“Yosh” Luffy nodded and grinned.


“Don’t ignore me!!!” The guy with the mo was getting a tad peeved. Fuck him.


“Ok ok.” Said Zoro to his Captain, sheathing his katana and turning back to the bar.


The moustache twitched and Zoro felt something tap him on the back of the head. He turned around with a look of mild incredulity. What the hell? Looked like mo had punched him in the back of the head. The swordsman narrowed his eyes and pooled all of his demonic presence into them. He leaned over mo and smiled. His deep voice dripped with the promise of pain,


“Lucky.”


The man’s eyes went wide and he stepped backwards. A sheen of sweat appeared on his brow and he watched Zoro go halfway across the room in silence before continuing to offer Luffy cut price panel beating.


“Thanks Zoro!” Luffy called out. His face was once again slammed into the table.


He kept giving Zoro these weird looks and grinning throughout the meal, and now he was letting some weak as piss idiot beat him into a table… Zoro knew the scheming look in his eyes. He should be able to handle any stupid plots that Luffy could come up with as long as they didn’t involve octopus or Nami. He’d have to keep an eye on the kid though, once he got an idea into his head then there was nothing anyone could do to get it out. The last thing Zoro needed was Luffy hounding Sanji. As if his life wasn’t enough of a theatre of humiliation already.


He couldn’t believe how the cook had reacted. He hadn’t even heard the implied question behind Zoro’s words. He just knew what he didn't want and that was it. His stupid insecurities made him unable to confront his feelings. Instead, he ran away. Sanji had never done that. He’d always been strong. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Every time that Nami rejected him, he’d just pick up the pieces of his heart and try again. It was stupid, but it was admirable. He loved the cook but he hated his dumb-ass attitude. Back to this again.


He wouldn’t fucking mind if Sanji just said it was over. Or if he just said it was on. It was all the pointless fucking about in the middle that was doing Zoro’s head in. He just wanted to know where he stood so he could get on with his life.


All this uncertainty too much damn hassle. It was even cutting into his sleeping time. He did like the cook and the cook didn’t want anyone to know. So he either didn’t want it to be serious, or he was embarrassed as hell by Zoro, or both.


He was just thinking in circles and getting nowhere. It was time to make a decision.


Well, fuck him if he didn’t know what he wanted.


Zoro did.


I might not be enough of a bastard to just tell everyone and then take a picture of the look on Sanji’s face for the album… But I am a bastard. And this bastard was going to make that dumb cook love him whether he wanted to or not.


The swordsman returned to the bar and sat down. He turned his chair so he could watch Luffy get pulverised. He had no idea what the Captain was doing, but at least it was entertaining.


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