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How to Save a Life	By : saxonjesus Category: +. to F > D. Gray Man Views: 4511 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: We own nothing. The D. Gray-verse is only our playground, we make no profit from our littlle adventures.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Chapter 14-Leave Out All The Rest

"Few people have the
imagination for reality."

---Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

November 25

"Nooooo, don't gooooo!"
Lavi half-yelled, half-whined, latching on to Yuu's leg and allowing himself to
be dragged across the room with every stride the other boy took.

"Let go, you stupid leech! And stop clinging!" Yuu looked
angry, but the redhead would not fail in this endeavor.

"But I don't wanna be aloooone!"
He wailed.

"And that's why you're going to stay with Lenalee at her Sorority house,
or did you forget?"

"But you could come toooo!
Why do you have to go away?"

"Because I, unlike you, am involved in a club, and said club has an away meet over Thanksgiving weekend at Penn,"
Yuu explained, shaking his leg in a futile attempt to get the redhead off.
Inwardly, Lavi praised himself for his persistence.

"B-b-but... Yuu-chan, don't you love me and wanna
be with me forever?" He asked pitifully.

"No. When the hell did I ever say that? Now get off. Seriously. You're bothering me." There was a serious
glint to the dark-haired boy's eye, so Lavi let go and sniveled into the small
rug that traveled from his bedside to the door.

"Sorry, Yuu," he said softly, but he was pretty sure his voice was
almost completely muffled by his fetal position on the ground.

"Oi, it's only half a week. It won't kill you to
be away from me."

They both ignored the fact that it very well could. Yuu had promised to protect
Lavi, but even if it was only for a little while, being apart made the younger
boy a bit antsy, like Bookman could show up and finish him off at any moment.
Still, if the Japanese boy trusted his adopted sister enough to watch over him in his stead, Lavi was sure that he could, too.

"But I'll miiiiiss yoooouuu!"
The redhead declared tearfully.

"Get over it."

And with that, the older boy grabbed his duffel bag and departed. For a while,
Lavi sat and thought. He thought about what it would be like if he had never
met Bookman. A scene gradually unfolded before him: the cops had found him
instead. When Mae came outside to check on him, she, too, was found, and she
ended up leading the cops to Michael and Gavin. The two of them had been
adopted together by a nice couple, and they had continued to grow up together.
Lavi would have met Yuu under completely different circumstances. Maybe the
other boy would have trusted him sooner. Maybe--and he only barely let himself
imagine it because the emotions were still so new and hard to comprehend--they
would have ended up as a couple. He would have brought Yuu home to meet his
family. His family would have loved the Japanese boy.

A wet spot appeared on the carpet in front of him. He hadn't even realized he
was crying until the first tear had fallen from his eye. Another one followed
it, but after that, Lavi tried his best to stifle them. He wiped at his eyes
furiously, and eventually, the hard lump in his throat disappeared.

It was so unfair. For both him and Yuu, it was just so unfair. Why had life
been so hard for them? Why did he have to remember all those horrible things,
and why did Yuu have to be hurt beyond hope for complete recovery? Why did they
both have to be so broken, so alone?

Why, oh God, why did he have to be falling in love with his roommate?

Because that was definitely what it was. He really was
lonely already. Every time he was with Yuu, he just felt at ease. He
felt like he could be himself and not be penalized. And he really just wanted
to kiss the boy. Not to mention that he was insanely jealous of the budding
friendship between his roommate and Jason. Supposedly, that was all it was, but
Lavi couldn't help but think that the brunette from down the hall was some kind
of competition. Whether it was just for Yuu's attention or also for his
affection, Lavi didn't know, but he did know that he hated not being around the
dark-haired boy.

Not in a creepy stalker way. He knew he was being a bit dependent at the
moment, but there were so many insecurities running through his head that what
he really needed was an anchor. Yuu provided relief for that need, even if he
wasn't the most stable of people to lean on, and Lavi was able to relax a
little bit in the other's presence as he finally found himself.

Who he was and what he wanted had never before been big
questions in his mind, so the redhead found it very difficult to find the
answers. Of course, he assumed normal people didn't know the answers to
those kinds of questions either, but after so long without any stable identity,
he wanted one of his own, one that he wouldn't take for granted.

"Hey, Lavi." A hand landed on his shoulder,
startling him enough for him to jump a good two inches into the air, like a
flying worm or something equally ridiculous. Vaguely, Lavi wondered if there
was actually such a thing as a flying worm.

As usual, Lenalee had barged in, and she came to his side and petted his back
as he composed himself.

"Hey, it's okay, Love. Don't worry, I won't tell Yuu-kun about this."

As if that mattered. Lavi didn't care if Yuu saw him
crying--the Japanese boy had already seen that enough times to never forget the
image. But he appreciated Lenalee's gesture nonetheless. It showed a surprising
amount of solidarity between them. The redhead realized, probably for the first
time, that he considered the Chinese girl as a dear friend. He didn't know how
exactly that had happened. It could have been when she'd come round two weeks
ago and beat Yuu up with a panda stuffed animal for "doing naughty things
to poor, innocent Lavi while he was drunk!" It could also have been when
she'd forced her way into their dorm so that she could tell Lavi to take
Chemistry 101 (taught by her brother) with her, just so that she'd have someone
to be lab partners with. The redhead had accepted the offer. He wasn't taking
many classes next semester, as he still wasn't sure what he was going to do
with his life yet. Plus, he needed to get his general education requirements
out of the way.

It could also have been when she had sexted him by
accident and then sent a quick "oopsie, that was
supposed to be for Allen!" text afterward. It struck Lavi as odd that the
white-haired bean sprout still didn't understand that
Lenalee was trying to come on to him.

"Okie dokie."
Lavi let the girl beside him pull him up and hand him his crutches, using the
time to make sure he was composed enough not to cry again. He really didn't
like the feelings he got when he did so, nor did he enjoy how clogged his
sinuses became.

In a whirl of strange laughter and light-hearted jokes, Lenalee sped around the
room and packed up the "essentials." Apparently, Lavi noticed, that
included his toothbrush, a can of Axe deodorant from Yuu's closet,
the neon shot glasses they'd won at a party the previous weekend, and a pink
tutu (which he had no recollection of ever owning).

"Lavi, this is no good," she said while rifling through his underwear
drawer. "Briefs lower sperm count! I know you don't really need a high
sperm count, but you know, if you run out of lube, you could always use that,
so it's always best to be prepared. We're going out this weekend and getting
you some proper boxers, okay?"

"Um... okay," he agreed hesitantly. He didn't really care about his
underwear. It wasn't like he planned on letting anybody see it.

"OH MY GOD, WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL YOUR CLOTHES!?"

"Eh! I'm missing some?" Alarmed, Lavi ran over to his friend's
side, only to find his dresser exactly as he had left it: five shirts, each a
different color, two pairs of jeans and a pair of khakis, three sweatshirts,
and the two frilly, silken dress shirts he'd borrowed from Jason at the
beginning of the semester. "No, I'm not."

"WHAT!? That's ALL you own!? Jesus Christ, man, get some clothes! I'm
taking you shopping ASAP."

Thus began a shopping trip of such epic proportions that by the time they
reached her Sorority house, it was nearly eleven o'clock at night.

With a sigh, Lavi dropped onto Lenalee's bed. The trip had been productive but
tiring, resulting in the purchase of four more pairs of jeans (one of which had
bedazzled pockets; that pair came from the girls' section and made his ass look
great, according to Lenalee).

"Do you miss him?" Lenalee asked, sitting down next to him. Curling
his legs up to his chest, Lavi nodded.

"It's really weird, but my chest feels all tight and wrong,"
he tried to explain.

"Wrong how?"

"I... don't know." He let his forehead fall onto his knees in
his shame. It sort of hurt, but it was nothing in comparison to everything else
he'd already been through today (including a disastrous attempt to zip Lavi
into a pair of pants two sizes too small, an act his body was still not pleased
with), so he decided to just let it go.

A slim arm came around his shoulder, and he fell sideways until his cheek was
acquainted with Lenalee's left breast.

"Think you could describe it to me?" The Chinese girl's voice was
sweet and soft, like the silky smooth press of satin to the skin. It was
inviting, and even though he had absolutely no idea what to say, Lavi began to
speak.

"It's like... rawr!" He clawed his hands at
his chest in an attempt to make Lenalee understand. When the girl just nodded
thoughtfully, he continued, "...Like a million little people want to claw
their way out."

"Well, when do you feel like that?"

"What do you mean?" Confusion was like a foggy haze around him, and
he had no idea how to answer her question.

"Like, are the little people always trying to rip up your chest or do they
only come at certain times?"

"They go away every once in a while, but they've been back since Yuu
left." Lavi turned his face so that he could bury it into Lenalee's side.
He hated not being able to understand his own emotions.

"Are you sad he's not with you?" The girl questioned, and Lavi nodded
in response, jiggling her breast a little bit as a result. "Are you maybe angry that he left?" Lenalee shifted so that she
was sitting completely on the bed, facing the redhead. Lavi let his head fall
into her chest again, and she held him there, half-cuddling him. For the first
time in his life, Lavi thanked his lucky stars that girls had soft, squishy
bodies. They were much more comfortable to lean on. He remembered one time he'd
huddled into Yuu's chest. It had been flat and rock solid, due to all the
muscle. It wasn't that Lavi didn't find that utterly attractive, it was just
that he had kind of been hoping for something a little more... supple to
rest his head on. Yuu, being a well-muscled man, felt kind of like that old,
nasty mattress that you couldn't wait to get rid of, while Lenalee--and more
broadly, the female population in general--felt like the mattress you would
want to buy to replace said old, nasty mattress, that cushy one with the memory
foam pad on top. "Are you angry he's with other people?"

Again, the redhead nodded.

"Do you want him to be with you instead?"

Lavi whined into his friend's bosom. "Yes..."

"Sounds to me like you're just jealous, then," the girl diagnosed
simply.

"Well, I know I'm jealous, but this feels a bit... different."

Lenalee shook her head. "No, I don't think so. I think you're just upset
that Yuu's making more friends and is starting to hang with other people
besides you. You're used to having him all to
yourself, so you don't want to share, do you?"

"Uh-uh," he said, burying his face farther into her chest. It was
getting a bit difficult to breathe, but he'd take his chances with asphyxiation
if he could disappear already. Everything Lenalee said was true; he hated that
Yuu had other people to rely on now, and moreover, he was upset that he
couldn't achieve the same thing. Sure, he liked Lizzie and Jason and the other
people in their dorm well enough, but when it came down to trusting them with
anything deeper than acquaintanceship, Lavi started to get a bit antsy. It was
very hard to open up to people when the entire objective of his life since he
was six was to shut everyone away. For fifteen years, everything he'd come
across had just been ink on paper, and that mindset would not desert him now,
even if he was technically no longer a Bookman's apprentice.

Yuu, on the other hand, was healing more and more every day. His smile was
becoming very common, his laugh an occurrence that happened several times a
week. Happiness was finally setting itself into Yuu's body, and it was leaving
Lavi alone in the dust. In a way, the Japanese boy had become a shining beacon
so far ahead of Lavi that he could never quite catch up anymore.

There were times that Lavi wanted to cry. His training wouldn't let him, but he
wanted it nonetheless, and it was becoming harder and harder to betray what
he'd known for so long. He wanted to break free of it all, but he was held
fast, like a fly caught in a spider's web.

"But don't you think that's kind of not fair?" The voice of reason,
somehow, seemed to hurt. Lavi didn't have a response. They fell into an uneasy
silence for a while, with Lenalee patting his back until he had to emerge from
her chest for breath.

"Life isn't fair," he said softly.

No, it wasn't.

His parents had died, he'd lost his sister, and he'd become a Bookman--all
things he hadn't wanted, all things that were, technically, his own fault. He'd
killed off his parents, and the second two happened because he'd been too weak
to fight off illness. After all, hadn't he only become the old man's apprentice
because he was thankful for being saved and because he had figured at the time
that it was the only thing he could do to repay Panda?

"No, it's not," Lenalee agreed, her voice
just as quiet. It was like a gentle spring breeze, revitalizing him with just
its presence. Yes, that was it. Lenalee was like Yuu, but where the Japanese
man was hot, the Chinese girl was merely warm. Lenalee
was spring; Yuu was summer. Both important to him, both
essential to his being, just like Bookman was winter and Mae autumn.
Each season, each imperative individual, was vital to him, represented some
growth in him that he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to recognize. Mae was his
youth, his innocence and his purity. Bookman was his experience, his harsh
memories. Lenalee was the warm, compassionate breeze that thawed the bitterness
that winter had given him. And Yuu--his precious friend, his Yuu--was the oven
that blazed away everything else until it was just them, just him and his
dark-haired chef, together in a world where pain didn't have to exist. Yuu was
his summer, his heat, his livelihood.

Lavi didn't know what love truly felt like, but he did know that he had
hopelessly fallen for his best friend and that he was likely to keep down that
path until he could be absolutely certain of the emotion.

"But you know," the Chinese girl continued, and it struck Lavi that
not much time had passed between his epiphany-ridden reverie and what the girl
had said just a moment ago, "if it were, I don't think I'd be half the
person I am today. You know, Komui raised me after our parents died. He
supported me even as he went through school, and now he's teaching chemistry
here while striving toward his doctorate. His work ethic inspired me to be as
strong as I am now. It's the same for you, I think."

"Eh?"

"Well, you've been through a lot of bad things. Yuu-kun says you scream in
your sleep every once in a while. But aren't you pretty strong now because of
that?"

"I'm not," he muttered.

"Of course you are. You're just going through a bit of an identity crisis
right now, are you not?"

Damn Lenalee for always being right. It was hard not
to be vulnerable when his entire world had just crumbled away below his feet.
He was still him, right? He could still be him, right?

Right?

But who was "him"?

"Who am I, Lenalee?" He asked, and he earnestly wanted to know the
answer. Maybe he was what others saw.

"You are Lavi. You annoy people for the fun of it--and don't go saying
it's just your persona, you know you like bothering Yuu-kun--and you do stupid
things to get the people around you to laugh and be happy. You really like
languages. You have a sharp tongue and a keen memory. And you're really smart. Like, genius smart. You even beat Yuu-kun, and he's no
slouch. I bet you even beat Daisya, and he's off the spectrum!" Lenalee
sounded a little proud of him, so he couldn't help but smile. If this was what
the dark-haired girl thought of him, he was okay with that.

---

November 26

"What do you mean, 'we've broken down?'" The coach was yelling at the
bus driver. They'd been pulled over to the side of the highway for about thirty
minutes and were still fifteen miles from any form of civilization. It was not
going to be a good day. It was beginning to look like they wouldn't get back to
the hotel any time soon.

The driver and the coach began to exchange expletives after a while, and after
a few 'your mothers' and some 'why the hell
should I know? I"m not the bus driver', the door
to the bus opened and they were soon driverless.

Yuu leaned into the aisle, trying to decide whether the walk was worth the risk
of being alone at night on a lonely stretch of Pennsylvania highway. Well,
he thought, at least I have Mugen. So with that, he walked up the line
of seats and impatient students and ran after the driver. He just hoped he was
going in the right direction.

He'd made it only a few yards away from the bus when he heard someone following
him. He turned around and saw Jason approaching. The boy smiled and had soon
matched Yuu's pace.

"The others decided that since you're pretty, I should be sacrificed for
your protection," the brown-haired boy joked, swinging an arm casually
over the shorter boy's shoulders.

Yuu lightly extracted himself from Jason's grasp.

"I can take care of myself," The Japanese boy stated.

"But it's dark, you could be mistaken for a girl
and get picked up by some perverts or something!" The boy bantered back.

"I have Mugen," Yuu replied matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, but they could have guns!"

"And I have Mugen."

"Well yeah, but Mugen's only so long and guns can reach a whole lot
farther," Jason countered, but Yuu was already prepared in his response.

"You missed the part where I said I could defend myself."

"Not against long-range weapons!" The boy shouted throwing his arms
up into the air.

"Who would be carrying a rifle in their car?" Yuu asked confused.

"I don't know! This is Pennsylvania, there could
be some crazy Kentuckian coming up for a vacation hunting trip!" Jason
reasoned.

"And the chances of that are?"

"Hey, all I'm sayin' is that they put me on
guard duty; can you deal with that?"

"No," Yuu answered and picked up his pace. Where was the driver,
anyway?

"Hey, Yuu, wait up!" He heard his teammate call out from a few paces
behind. Reluctantly, Yuu slowed down, unwilling to have to be watching in front
and behind to make sure nothing came out of the woods and tried to eat his
friend.

It was weird thinking of the tall boy as his friend, he was so unused to having
to interact with people that it came as a shock how easy it was to be civil
enough to form attachments. Though the prospect still
frightened him slightly, as did having the boy at his back, not that he'd ever
show any of that unease.

They walked along the side of the highway for what might have been a few miles,
with no sign of the bus driver in sight. Yuu wondered if perhaps the man had
called himself a cab and had left them completely, because there was no way
that old man could have outpaced them.

"So, Yuu, Lizzie's been wondering about you and Lavi." Jason started,
in that "my friend wanted to know, but it is actually me who is more
curious" tone of voice.

The dark-haired boy turned slightly to face his inquirer. "Che.
None of your business."

"So, then, you two are?" Jason continued undeterred.

Yuu scowled. "Are what?"

"Well, you know, together?" He said it quietly, as if he
thought they were going to be overheard.

Yuu rolled his eyes and shook his head. "No, we aren't." And no, that
wasn't a note of disappointment in his tone.

"Really? I mean, he's the only one you're even
remotely close to, and, I mean, the way he hangs off of you. I--I mean, Lizzie--just
assumed." Jason corrected his slip a bit too late for Yuu not to notice.

"Didn't your mother tell you not to assume things about other
people?"

"Well didn't yours ever tell you that if you kept making that face, it'll
stick that way?"

"No, now shut the fuck up." With that, Yuu kept walking, thinking
that it might have been better to turn around and call a tow truck.

"But it's true, y'know? The way he is really clingy,
especially after he got mugged." Yuu had told Jason and Lizzie that the
redhead had been assaulted coming back from the library. It seemed like the
only plausible excuse.

Yuu just hadn't thought of an excuse about why Lavi was always around him now.
He didn't really feel like coming up with an excuse at the moment, so he just
pretended that no response was needed on this train of thought.

The two boys continued on their trek in silence. There weren't even any cars on
the small, two-lane highway to brighten the dark road.

"But you do like him, don't you?" God the boy was persistent.

"Who are you, Lenalee? Or is Lizzie forcing you to give me the third
degree?" Yuu growled, not wanting the brown-haired boy to delve any deeper
into his personal life.

"So you do!" And for once, Yuu was thankful for the dark road so that
his companion would not be able to see his blush.

"Your silence speaks volumes, Senpai."
Yuu could hear the laughter in his voice.

"Not that I have a problem with it, I mean, my best friend in high school
was gay and then he humped me and all was not so cool, but that's beside the
point."

"It's your fault for being so damn metrosexual,"
Yuu chuckled, wishing he could see Jason's face.

"Just because I wore a trenchcoat to school does
not make me gay! What, are you attracted to me?" A passing car lit
up the taller boy's face. He was winking and making a rather girlish looking
kissy face.

Yuu pushed him into the street.

"Hey, you bastard! Why can't you take a
joke?" Jason called as he ran back to safety, "I mean, its taking a lot for me not to ask what happened to you,
being a psych major and all, but seriously, if you don't want people to ask,
you could try being a little nicer."

Yuu paused for a moment, letting his teammate catch up. Perhaps if he just
didn't answer, the younger boy would drop the subject.

"You know, keeping silent isn't going to make me any less curious,"
Jason said casually, jamming his hands into his pockets.

"And you asking isn't going to make me tell you," the dark-haired boy
said in return. "Couldn't it be that I really am just a bastard, no reason
for it except that it's just the way I am?"

"Well, that could be the case, but seeing as you seem to have an
unreasonable fear of contact of any sort, whether it be an unanticipated pat on
the back, a hug, or any other type of social contact, you squirm away from it
as if it burns. You do it to everyone--Lenalee and Lavi to a lesser extent, but
you still do it. That isn't a normal response. It's something that's been
ingrained into your personality through some sort of experience, and perhaps if
you told me then I'd be able to help, or at least know what not to do."

"I already know you won't do what I don't want you to, so it doesn't
matter," Yuu stated, angry that this boy thought he could help, when he
really didn't want to know and would regret discovering it the instant that he
found out.

"Come on, Yuu, maybe if you tell me it won't hurt so much, and then you'd
be able to heal."

They had stopped moving. When? Yuu had no idea, but it wasn't a good idea that
they had, because if Jason kept asking questions like this, it wasn't going to
end well for either of them. His hands were beginning to shake slightly
and he really didn't want to have a minor breakdown on an unpopulated stretch
of highway with someone he still didn't trust completely.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Jay, just drop it," Yuu
warned, not wanting to take the risk the brown-haired boy wanted him to take.

"No! You know, sometimes you can be an arrogant ass, Yuu. Listen, I want
to help." Perhaps it was the supreme earnestness in Jason's tone
that set the older boy off.

"This isn't something you can help with! I'm not your patient, and
the last time I was at a psychiatrist, he insisted I enter a medical ward.
Whatever you say isn't going to make a difference. You think I haven't
healed? Maybe I should show you some pictures from when I was younger--maybe
then you'll see how much I've improved." It all came out as one
large, hissing snarl, like his voice had been dipped into a vat of snake's
venom. His chest heaved with the force of his words, and he found himself
completely flustered.

"That's good--let your anger out," Jason said, smiling.

"Shut up, you damn brat!" Yuu screamed, unsheathing his sword and
pointing it at his teammate's neck. The edges of his vision were tinting red,
and he knew he'd lost all sense of control. This was bad. He knew what an
attack felt like--he'd had them for so long now that perhaps it was inevitable
that the faces swam into view. He screamed again, and turned his blade onto the
memories, hacking at heads that could never be injured. How dare Jason
start prying like that! How dare he bring up things that reminded him
just how badly he'd been hurt! He just wanted to forget, Goddammit!

He didn't even realize he'd been crying until Mugen was wrestled from his hands
and he fell to his knees. His head was pressed into a warm chest,
one that was not Lavi's or Lenalee's or Tiedoll's but that was still
comfortable. Jason didn't say anything--perhaps he understood that Yuu would
kill him if he opened his mouth again--he just stayed there and held Yuu's head
to his chest. He didn't pat him like Lenalee always did, like Lavi had taken to
doing, and he didn't run his hands through his hair (an action for which the
punishment could only be death).

It didn't take him long to regain composure--just a few minutes. When he did,
he quickly extracted himself from the other boy's steady grip and stood up. He
picked up Mugen from off the ground, placing it back in its sheath. He didn't
want Jason to think he was still going to kill him, because who was Yuu
kidding, he didn't want to see anybody dead. Without another word to the taller
boy, Yuu stalked off, thinking he saw the telltale sign of civilization, the
lights of a gas station sign. Hopefully, he didn't still look like he'd been
crying; that was the last thing he needed. The dark-haired boy didn't look back
for his teammate.

Inside the small convenience store, Yuu looked around for anything that
resembled an auto-parts section. He really wasn't good with cars or any type of
transportation, so it was probably a good thing that he wasn't alone. He looked
over as Jason walked up next to him, picked up a can of oil and walked to the
counter.

"We just need oil; the engine overheated, simple fix," the boy
remarked. "Hey, can someone give us a ride back to our bus? It's a damn
far walk and it's the middle of the night."

Yuu wasn't really paying attention. The cashier phoned the cops, and as they
waited for the cruiser to arrive, the Japanese boy sat out under the blinding
light of the gas station parking lot. It was infuriating that he still lost
control like that. He knew he had to stop it, but it just seemed like every
time he told himself that, the farther off the goal seemed to be. His hands
were still shaking, too, and that just made the guilt and the shame even more
pronounced.

"Sorry I asked. You don't have to tell me. I just--I hate seeing my
friends suffer and being unable to do anything about it."

He must've been pretty out of it, because he hadn't noticed Jason sit down next
to him.

"Whatever," he mumbled, keeping his gaze fixed on the blacktop.

Maybe it was the silence that the vacant parking lot provided, but for some reason
he was able to think pretty clearly, despite having just lost control. The
thought came that perhaps Jason was right; he wasn't healing. He had made
progress, and then somewhere along the way, he'd stalled, like their bus. Maybe
he was so coherent because Lavi had shocked his system enough by making Yuu
tell him what had happened that the redhead had kick-started Yuu's recovery,
and the Japanese boy had just needed Jason's advice to keep the engine
churning. And maybe if he told the younger boy what had happened then he could
travel further down the highway of sanity and make it to his goal of
"almost normal".

That sounded like a good idea, so he did. He didn't tell Jason everything, only
the most important bits about his parents and the faces. Leaving out the Lotus
was a given, too, but he still told his teammate what had happened, and that
was the only thing that mattered.

Luckily, by the time the police officer arrived, Jason had been able to compose
himself, just enough to keep the horrified expression
off of his features and not enough to start asking questions. Which, in Yuu's book, was exactly where he needed to be.

When they arrived back at the bus, the bus driver had yet to make an
appearance. The bus was oiled and they had a police escort to the University,
and all the while Jason acted as if nothing had changed. It left the
dark-haired boy with a deep-set feeling of not quite peace or contentment, but
something close, and maybe that was what it felt like to heal.

---

November 29

When he returned to the dorm, Yuu was greeted outside
his door by an overenthusiastic Lenalee.

"Thank God you're back. Lavi was so... weepy," she said, sounding
relieved. She took hold of his hands after a moment's hesitation that Yuu knew
was specifically designed to let him decide whether or not he would allow the
contact. Ever since talking to Jason, he'd been a little bit better. He still
didn't trust much of the team, but he'd found that accidental touches didn't
bother him as much. Of course, it could just be that he'd been dragged along by
the other swordsmen so much that he'd simply become immune to simple contact.
Perhaps, after a prolonged period without touching, he would revert.

He found he didn't care either way.

"Che. Your problem, not mine," he responded,
looking away and fighting back something that may have turned into a chuckle.
It was disconcerting--he didn't laugh, after all.

"Yuu-kun, don't be an ass," Lenalee warned, connecting their eyes
with a fierce glare. The hair on the back of the Japanese
boy's neck raised in response. No matter how resilient he was to the
girl's other tactics, whenever Lenalee looked at him like that, he felt uneasy.
Yuu sighed.

"What did he do?" He had a feeling he didn't really want to know, but
humoring Lenalee was the best way to get out of situations such as this one.

"He tried to cook on Thanksgiving."

"So?" That was what the dark-haired boy said, but he knew just as
well as Lenalee how insufferably abysmal Lavi's cooking was. He'd tried to
"help out" over Fall Break and had ended up making a fool of himself
by tripping over his own feet and falling face-first into the stove top. The
boy's bangs were still a little singed.

"So... he was doing okay, mostly thanks to my Sisters, but then he...
well... he started getting all emotional about how it was his first
Thanksgiving. And then his eyes got really wide and he ran upstairs and hid for
the rest of the day. He wouldn't even take dinner. I think Bookman may have
been about. So to cheer him up, we gave him a shot--or four--of tequila, and he
just started sobbing on us all, wailing about how he wanted his
'Yuu-chan t'come home'n be wif me!'" Lenalee broke off and looked away, shaking
her head. Yuu knew her well enough to see the small smile she was hiding.

He sighed again. "I'll take care of it." He tried to make himself
sound as resigned to his fate as possible, just in case the idiot rabbit was
listening. He couldn't let his reputation fall, after all. It would be
disastrous for his social image. Not that he really cared what others thought.
But still, the fact remained that he didn't want the redhead to know that
maybe, just maybe, he'd been waiting to come back home.

Stupid rabbits.

Entering the room, he was so surprised that he almost reeled backward into Lenalee.
Lavi was perched like a bird at the window and had his arm outstretched,
warning Yuu to stay where he was. The other boy's eyes were calculating,
scanning the room with an efficiency Yuu could never
hope to match. He stayed in that position for a good twenty minutes before he
finally beckoned his roommate and their visitor in.

"Someone's been here--probably Bookman, as some of the differences are so
trivial that they could've been figments of my imagination. Yuu, check your
drawer."

Immediately, the dark-haired boy rushed over to the drawer that held his Lotus.
He pulled it open gently, so as not to disturb any of the contents. But there
was no need.

His Lotus was gone.

---

A/N: OMG WE'RE SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE US!!!! *soblets*
Soo... um... yeah, apparently this semester really
sucks. Em1's taking three classes that are taught in German, and she's kind of
dying, and Em2's just kind of being a lazy-ass (English major thing). Plus,
we've both been incredibly sick most of the semester as well. Soo, please forgive us our failures and take heart in the
fact that the next chapter is almost done. We love you all and hope that you
all haven't started hating us. Er, that's it.
- 13
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How to Save a Life