Acquiescence

Disclaimer: Waaahhh I still don’t own!!

Warnings: language, fluff(?) if I dare, yaoi, man x man, SMUT, bondage, violence, tons of possible typos, unbeta’d

A/N: ok I tried to the best of my ability to make this seem like fluff, but as we all know I sort of suck at writing fluff. So I gave up past page few pages and made it all angsty!!! Woot woot~ hehehe but the attempted fluff is there if you look hard enough you’ll see it. Thank you my lovely readers and reviewers!!! Especially Behan and Book Thief101, I jus luv reading ur reviews~

Heheh well on to the fic~ sorry for leaving you all hanging with the smut and I hope this half NC fully consensual smut adds a bit to your taste. (unbeta’d version, beta’d version will be up once I get it from my beta, which won’t be for a while bcuz she’s busy with school.)

Enjoy!


Chapter 13 – Because I Love You


Kanda didn’t know what to expect when he stepped into the room, so he froze on spot. His eyes roamed aimlessly around the area, taking in white expanse of it. Everything was covered in the tint that it made him wonder, how obsessed was Allen with the colour white? ‘The time he spent in that place messed up his colour senses.’ He shook his head at how ridiculous his thoughts were.

Something caught his eyes when he shook his head and he turned to get a better look. His eyes widened when he saw the portrait of a beautiful young lady, hanging over Allen’s white night table. She looked to be no older than eighteen with curly white hair that reached her waist and bright gray eyes that seemed to show wisdom beyond her age. The smile on her lips was as beautiful and breathtaking as the puffy black dress she wore and Kanda couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“That’s my sister Robin,” Allen said. “She was very beautiful wasn’t she?”

Kanda shook his head from the trance he found himself in. He turned to Allen who was sitting on his bed with his legs crossed and his white jacket off. Allen in turn focused on Kanda.

“Kanda, come here.”

Russet eyes dulled. ‘Shit, there’s that tone again.’ It was hard to ignore Allen when he was using such a pleading tone. Kanda couldn’t break from the desire that had him walking to where Allen sat. Once he was a few feet before him he stopped.

Allen reached out and pulled Kanda to straddle his hips. He then pushed him on the bed to lie down and towered over him.

“Are you afraid?” he asked in a low tone.

Kanda looked up at him and scoffed. “No.”

“Why?”

The question caught Kanda a bit off guard. Why wasn’t he afraid of him? Sure the pain that Allen caused him would make anyone terrified, but not him. He wasn’t afraid of him, even when Allen hurt him. It was weird, but he didn’t know how to phrase it.

“Why should I be?” Kanda replied. “I just know that I’m not afraid of you.”

“Do you hate me?”

Kanda’s answer was immediate. “Of course I do asshole!” though the response he gave made his heart clench painfully.

Allen shrugged and then chuckled. “Of course you would,” he replied. “But I feel hurt to hear you say that.”

“Why?” Kanda couldn’t help the question from spilling out his mouth. His heart thrummed in his chest as he waited for Allen’s answer.

Allen leaned closer to Kanda’s face. His hot breath ghosted over Kanda’s lips. He wouldn’t be ignorant of his feelings anymore; he knew exactly what he felt for the raven-haired boy. It wasn’t one of his normal master and slave relations that he usually had with his pets. He really and truly without a doubt…

“Because I love you,” he whispered the words against Kanda’s lips and closed the distance.

Kanda’s eyes were wide in shock from Allen’s confession. Sure Allen had said the three words to him before, but those times it felt downright fake. Right now it felt as if Allen was pouring his heart out to him and he didn’t know how to react. He was almost frozen when Allen continued to kiss him.

Allen pulled back and took off his tie. “I’m trying not to be rough, but it’s going to be kind of hard,” he brought Kanda’s hand up over his head and bound them with the tie. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

When Kanda felt his hand strapped up he was sort of relieved. That he was used to. He told himself it was the same bastard who would tie him up and fuck him raw, so what ever he was babbling about was just crap. It would be the same, rough and painful but the pleasure that came with it would be divine.

‘Why am I anticipating the pain?’ Kanda couldn’t tell what it was, but a part of him wanted the pain and yet another part of him wanted to be held tenderly by Allen. ‘No, I’m not that weak…’

Allen clenched his teeth in an attempt to quell the urge to hurt Kanda. He really wanted to take Kanda carefully and with a minimal amount of pain, but his true nature was making it a bit difficult. It was hard to deviate against what he was used to. He was used to slashing Kanda up and watching as his blood flowed while he fucked him hard and fast, but right now he wanted to treat him as something precious. That was something he didn’t know if he could do. Though he wanted Kanda and himself to feel pleasure, he didn’t want it to come from causing Kanda pain.

He leaned down to Kanda’s torso and sucked at a pulse point on Kanda’s neck. Kanda wore his training clothes so it was fairly easy to get to a naked patch of skin. Allen’s kisses and nips were soft and almost loving. It drove Kanda up the wall with an unknown emotions and blinding frustrating.

“What…the….hell?” Kanda wheezed out. He felt completely different when Allen kissed his stomach. It felt different and he didn’t like different.

Allen focused at the task at hand. He kissed down Kanda’s torso until he was face to face with the slight bulge in Kanda’s tight knee length pants. His tongue peeked out to poke against the hard organ, causing Kanda to let out a low moan. Pleased with the response he pulled Kanda’s pants and underwear down in one swift movement and attached his lips and tongue on Kanda’s half hard cock.

Kanda couldn’t suppress the moan that forced its way out his mouth. He panted and writhed as Allen sucked harder on the half hard organ, bringing it to full hardness. It felt different from the times Allen sucked him off. The times when Allen would do that he made sure to use something that would add pain. This time it was only pleasure, sweet unbearable pleasure and Kanda wasn’t used to pleasure without pain. It was like treading on some unfamiliar ground and he didn’t like it as it made something stir within him.

“…S-sto…op…” he managed to moan out. The pleasure alone was making his mind a jumbled mess. “…Let…go…” He tried to use his bound hands to push Allen’s head back but Allen grabbed his hands before he could do anything.

Allen kept a hold on Kanda’s hand as he sucked him off. He licked and sucked on the swollen head before he took the length into his mouth. His mouth enclosed on the hard organ in his mouth but not enough that he would end up biting him. He kept his sucking to a controlled level and made sure it was enough to give pleasure but not hard to cause pain.

Kanda didn’t want to like it, more than anything the pleasure was making his body weak. It was making him think thoughts he shouldn’t and, worst of all, the way Allen was treating him made him want to consider his earlier words…sincerely. ‘No…I can’t give in…’ He tried again to resist Allen’s eager mouth and hands but it still proved futile.

“Why are you resisting?” Allen asked as he removed his lips from Kanda’s rock hard shaft but he still pumped it. “Aren’t you enjoying it?” He released Kanda’s hand and then unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, reveling his well-toned muscles. The shirt was tossed somewhere on the floor but Allen didn’t care where it dropped; his mind was solely focused on Kanda.

“If…you’re not…going to make…it hurt…let me…the fuck go,” Kanda managed to say. He knew how to react when he was wracked with pain, but this new feeling – the painless sex – he wasn’t used to something like that. With the pain it confirmed that he hated Allen, but without it, what did that say about his feelings for him?

Allen lifted his head up to stare straight into Kanda’s hazed over eyes. “I’m trying to not hurt you and you say this,” he gave a low chuckled. “Ah but I’m sorry I can not comply.”

He kissed the tip of Kanda’s cock and licked his lips, tasting pre-come. His tongue peeked out and he used it to lick a long trail from the base to the tip. He continued on that pace, using it at some sort of distraction. There was an audible pop but it went unnoticed by Kanda, so did the fact that Allen was coating his fingers with lube. That was until Allen slid two lubed up finger in Kanda’s entrance.

Kanda’s eyes widened when he felt the slippery cold feeling the lube brought. It got gradually warmer when Allen moved his fingers in and out the tight passage. A strained moan spilled from Kanda’s lips when Allen teased his prostate, the feeling made his vision spotty. It was the first Allen had ever prepared him before sex. Allen would usually force himself into him unprepared, as he loved the pained look on Kanda’s face and when he bled. But this, what Allen was doing, it made the act seem as two lovers making love rather than raw hardcore fucking between master and pet.

Allen kept sucking as he fingered Kanda’s ass and soon enough he was using three fingers to stretch the tight passage. He couldn’t believe how different he felt preparing Kanda before intercourse. It wasn’t something he was used to, but in a way it felt normal. He felt normal when he was with Kanda, as if he wasn’t some sadistic bastard who got off on a person’s pain. Well he was, but that wasn’t what he was getting at. He looked up seeing Kanda’s body trembling in pleasure. The little moans Kanda made was making him harder than ever and he was getting a bit impatient.

A pale hand reached over for the discarded bottle of lube. He took it up and with one last suck on Kanda’s cock he released it, and then zipped his own from its confines. It weighed heavy in his left hand.

“Time for the main course,” there was an audible pop when he pulled his fingers from Kanda’s secret place and Kanda’s face burned red at the sound. “I can’t wait.” He squeezed some of the clear liquid into his palms and slicked up his dick. The little strokes he gave himself were good but he felt it would be better if he were buried inside of Kanda. “Prepare yourself.”

He lined himself at Kanda’s entrance and eased in slowly. It was painfully hard to restrain him self as he wanted to just plunge into the hot passage, but he did. He watched with half lidded eyes as Kanda’s back arched and his mouth opened in a silent cry.

Kanda couldn’t feel the pain. It was purely pleasure and the pleasure took over his mind. Things that he couldn’t feel before he felt now and when Allen moved… God he felt as if he would die. The sex was becoming so fucking good and it was so different from the usual that it made Kanda’s mind go blank. If Allen had made love to him like this all those times and had treated him with some inkling of non-sadistic desires, maybe then what he would feel for him would be…

“Aaaah!” his voice echoed in the large room and his body trembled slightly. “Ngh…aaah…” Sweets pants of bliss poured from his mouth as Allen pulled back and pounded into his body.

Allen held Kanda’s legs in his hands as he drove into his body over and over. He bent his legs and brought them down to his chest so that he could get a better angle to fuck Kanda. ‘So…fucking good.’ He didn’t know how to describe the sex, as the word mind-blowing wouldn’t do the act justice. It was out of this world, so fucking incredible that Allen was almost at a loss of breath. He never felt that way with anyone before. It was like experiencing sex for the first time, and it kind of was for him. It was the first time that he would have sex with someone without harming them.

“Fucking…awesome,” he leaned closer to Kanda’s face and kissed him, devouring his lips in a frantic rush.

Kanda responded by putting his bound hands over Allen’s head and brining him closer. He had to make a choice and right now the choice was plain and obvious to his face. The lingering feeling was becoming stronger and stronger and he knew what it was, maybe this was what he wanted from Allen? Kanda never really hated him no matter what he always said; even if Allen constantly raped him. It was weird and he knew it, but the fact of the matter was he never hated Allen. So maybe, he would be able to show another emotion other than attempted hate. But the question was could he disregard his pride for Allen? He looked up into grey depths that looked back at him with restrain and tentative care. That sealed his fate; yes he could, as those gray depths reminded him of the eyes that haunted his dreams since he was small.

“…More…” Kanda said something that he never thought he would say in a million years. He was begging Allen to give him more, to fuck him harder. “…Give…me…more…” he purred against Allen’s lips.

Allen gave a small smile and granted Kanda’s wish. He pulled back and pounded into Kanda repeatedly, hitting his prostate relentlessly. For the first time in a long time he felt a twinge in his heart. When he remembered what he would do next, it made him regret but it also made his anger grew. He would destroy the ones who forced him to do what he would do.

“Ngh…aaaaaaaah!!” Kanda’s moans were loud and unrestrained. He thrashed below Allen and his body quivered in satisfaction. His orgasm was close and he could feel it, but for the first time he dreaded that it was coming. He wanted to feel the connection that he had with Allen a little while longer…he didn’t want it to end.

Allen seemed to have the same thoughts in mind. He didn’t want it to end; he wanted to feel Kanda more, to plunge into him more…to keep him at his side forever. His hands roamed over Kanda’s naked form and when he felt the tightening of Kanda’s passage he pulled him up.

Kanda had his legs on either side of Allen and his hands were over Allen’s head. He used the strength in his legs to bounce on Allen’s hard dick at a pace that almost sent him over the edge. A whimper passed his lips when Allen held on to his waist and drove into him harder and faster than before. It indicated that he too was close. Allen brought his hand up to Kanda’s neglected cock and pumped him as he rained hits after hits on Kanda’s prostate.

“Kanda…together…” he murmured as his pace only increased. Damn, he was way over the edge. “…I love you…” he whispered the words against Kanda’s ears.

Kanda came just from hearing the three words Allen whispered. He gave a loud moan like scream and then arched his back as he reached his orgasm, spurting semen all over their stomachs. Allen too moaned out loud when he had his release the same time as Kanda. He held on to Kanda’s heaving form as they both tried to catch their breaths from the intense orgasm they both had.

Their sweet pants echoed in the room and Kanda lay down on Allen’s slightly heaving chest. It felt comfortable and he would have fallen asleep if Allen didn’t pull him off his limp dick and onto the bed. A low moan left Kanda’s lip when he felt Allen’s essence seeping out from his ass. In a way it felt more intimate and he relished the feeling of Allen’s semen sliding down his legs. Allen had released his hands and turned his back to him. Kanda wasn’t able to see his face but he felt sure of it, that what he felt for Allen was…

“Get out.”

Kanda blinked. He could have sworn that he didn’t hear right. “…What?”

“I said to leave,” Allen said without looking at him. His bangs hooded his eyes, shielding it from view.

Whatever new-found feeling Kanda felt for him crashed and burned. ‘I knew it; he’s the same fucking asshole as ever.’ He felt hurt at what Allen said. There was no denying it; he was fucking hurt. He took up his discarded pants and quickly put it on.

“Whatever asshole,” he hissed; the hurt was obvious in his voice. “I’m gone.”

Before he could get up Allen held on to his hand. “I mean it, leave” he had the remote to Kanda’s collar in his hands and he pressed a button. Kanda could only look in surprise as the collar was pulled off his neck. “I’m releasing you, Kanda.” He let go of Kanda’s hand.

This was what Kanda wanted. He finally got it; he was free. But why didn’t it only made him feel hurt?

“Why?” Kanda couldn’t believe that it was his voice. It was so low and laced with pain.

“You want to be free, so I’m releasing you,” Allen replied. He still hadn’t look at Kanda.

“Why won’t you look at me?!” Kanda yelled. He didn’t know why, he was upset, he was mad and his heart hurt so bad it felt like it would burst. “Look at me damn it!”

“I gave you your freedom, what more do you want!?” Allen’s voice was cold, but it was slightly shaky as if he was forcing himself to say those words. “You are to leave immediately; I’ll have something arranged for you so that you can go back to your normal life. Isn’t that what you wanted Kanda? I’m giving it to you. So go, go now!” ‘Or I might not want to let you go…’

Kanda wanted to protest but Allen was right, he had his freedom, there was no reason for him to stay there anymore. But why couldn’t he leave?! And why the fuck did he felt like he wanted to cry?

There was a knock at the door and Kanda paused in what he was about to say.

“Allen-sama I’m here for Kanda-dono,” the voice on the other end of the door called.

“Your ride is here,” Allen said. “Leave.”

Kanda had a blank look on his face. He turned and left without so much of another word to the white haired male. What he didn’t notice was the regretful look that took over Allen’s face or the overwhelming pain in his gray eyes. Kanda slammed the door shut and followed the man to where ever he was leading him. He didn’t care anymore; nothing mattered.

Allen fell back on the bed and he stared blankly up at the ceiling. He kept telling himself that it was the only way to keep Kanda safe. That it was the only way to keep him from the Mafia war that would soon break out. He didn’t want to get Kanda involved and it was the first time he ever felt that way. More than losing his family he feared losing Kanda and he would protect him, even if that meant setting him free.

He knew he could have easily hid Kanda away from harm, but Kanda would never want to be protected like that. Kanda would have wanted to fight too, but that was something he couldn’t let happen. The only way to protect Kanda and keep him out of the way until everything was over was to release him. Now Kanda wouldn’t think twice about his Mafia and what would be going on, because he was no longer involved.

But it really hurt to let Kanda go.

“I’ll make you pay,” he promised. “Those Mugen Yakuza bastards, I’ll kill every last one of you for what you forced me to do.” His eyes ran wild with unabashed madness and anger. “I’ll murder you all!!!”

69 * 69 * 69 * 69 * 69 * 69

Lavi flexed his fingers after he donned his black fingerless gloves. He was eager to start his mission but he also wanted to say goodbye to Kanda. ‘That’s weird; I haven’t seen him since the meeting this evening.’ The meeting was three hours ago but during that time he was so busy preparing for his mission that he didn’t have time to drop by Kanda’s room. ‘The boss and Yuu should be here soon anyway,’ he shrugged. ‘They’re probably cleaning up from training.’

“Lavi, why are you so deep in thought?” Road asked as she walked up to him. “Though I must say, it makes you look really sexy~”

Lavi chuckled nervously. “Ah, I’m just wondering where Yuu and the boss are. That’s all,” he replied, totally disregarding the ‘sexy’ comment.

“Ah~ Yuu-chan,” Road nodded. “I bet they’re doing it.” There was a creepy grin on her face but that soon disappeared and her expression became solemn. “Ne Lavi, don’t you think Allen is acting a bit strange?”

That was a weird question to ask, but Lavi could see where she was getting at. Allen was going out of his way to kill anyone who was associated with the Mugen Yakuza, and now he was sending his most capable people on an extended mission, which would leave the main house unprotected. Ok, not completely unprotected but weakened. Allen was insanely strong and was capable of protecting the main house himself, but without anyone there to help he might get a bit out of control.

“Acting strange?” Lavi asked. “How so?”

Road sighed. “Allen’s a bit too protective of Yuu-chan. I think he might actually love him.”

Lavi blinked. ‘Love?’ “As in a collector with a rare item? That kind of love?” That was the only kind of ‘love’ he could see, Allen didn’t seem like the type to genuinely love. Sure he was protective of Kanda but that could stem from his possessiveness. He didn’t like it when other people touched what belonged to him without his permission.

“No,” Road shook her head. “As in what you and Tyki have. That kind of love.”

Green eye blinked in confusion. “What makes you think that? I can’t see something like that from–”

Road held her hand up to stop Lavi from continuing. “That was the same thing we said about your relationship with Tyki,” she said. “You know how Tyki was; he used to be just like Allen but a bit more composed. There was no way he could love anyone but he loves you don’t he?”

Lavi nodded. That was how it was but…“It’s not the same.”

“It is,” Road said. She reached out to touch Lavi’s eye patch. “It’s the same.” she lowered her hands and cupped his right cheek. “In the beginning it was painful but no matter how much Tyki hurt you, you stayed with him. Eventually Tyki overcame his most dangerous desires and fell madly in love with you. It wasn’t about possessing your body anymore it was about receiving your love.” She gave him a small smile. “You saved Tyki just like Yuu-chan will save Allen.”

At the words Road said Lavi couldn’t be more convinced. She may be young but she was truly knowledgeable. True, in the beginning, his relationship with Tyki was one-sided and forced but in time he caved and gave in to Tyki’s charms. He also joined the Noah Family of his free will – despite Tyki telling him not to – to get stronger, and so that he could be with Tyki. Even till now he didn’t regret the choice he made. Maybe it was the same with Kanda, was it that he was finally falling for Allen?

“Road! What are you doing?” Tyki was clearly annoyed at what he was seeing. “Are you trying to take my precious from me?”

Road gave Lavi one final smile and then released his cheek. She turned to face her irate uncle with a smirk on. “Heh I might!’ she giggled. “Lavi-chan just gets cuter everyday~”

Lavi shook his head as he watched the two bicker. Wisely seemed to have caught wind of the situation and he added his two cents.

“Lavi is very cute, yes very,” he gripped his chin as he nodded his head in approval. His gaze locked on the redhead’s body in a way that couldn’t have been comfortable. “Ah but the boss and the right hand are blessed with such cuties. I’m jealous.”

“Hey Jasu is cute too,” Debitto added annoyed. Sure his uncle and cousin’s lovers were complete hotties but his Jasdero was just as cute!

Jasdero blushed at what his brother said. “Yeah! And so is Debi, hii!”

Debitto blushed. “B-baka, you’re cuter than me!”

Wisely made a snide comment about the twins and that got their attention. The three ran head first into their usual squabble and everyone just ignored them. Lulubell though, had been ignoring them from the beginning. All she wanted was for their damned boss to show up so that she could leave already.

“I’m glad you all are still this lively.”

Everyone turned their attention to where they heard Allen’s voice, but was surprised at his appearance. Sure Allen looked the same and impeccably dressed but there was something different about him, something very different.

“Allen,” Tyki began. He could feel the insanity radiating off Allen in waves and it made him wonder what made him snap. “Are you alright?”

Allen grinned and it was a creepy sight. “I’m fine,” he replied with a smirk. “Just a bit pissed off.”

Tyki was still a bit skeptical and Lavi hoped what ever had gotten Allen pissed didn’t have any repercussions on Kanda.

“I see everyone is here,” Allen continued. “Good.” His tone took on a more commanding pitch. “I want you to annihilate your enemies, make sure to leave none of those Mugen bastards alive. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes boss,” they chorused.

“Perfect,” Allen purred the word out in a dark tone. “I expect good results.”

“Boss, where is Yuu?” Lavi asked. He still wanted to say goodbye to him, not to mention he was worried, seeing how Allen’s mood was. With their boss looking like he would kill anything within a two-meter radius, he couldn’t help but worry. “I want to see him before I leave.”

Allen’s hand tightened to a fist when he heard Kanda’s name. He lowered his head and his bangs hid his eyes from view. “He’s gone.”

Lavi couldn’t help that his heart rate increased to a mile a minute. ‘Gone? Gone as in what?’ He couldn’t help but think of a worse case scenario. “Yuu is gone?”

“Yes,” Allen reached into his pocket and took out the collar that Kanda always wore. “I released him.”

That was a shock to everyone. Allen, their sadistic boss would set his favorite pet free? That was completely unheard of. The only way Allen released his pets was by their deaths.

“Allen, you let him go?” Wisely asked. Astonishment was wild in his gold eyes. “Just like that? Why? I thought you’d use him in this fight?”

Allen gave Wisely a dark glare. “I wasn’t intending on using Kanda to fight. He has nothing to do with this.” He brought the collar to his lips and kissed it. “I love him.”

If they were shocked by Allen’s earlier statement, they were rendered stupefied by this one. The only thing that ran through their minds was ‘Allen is in love?’ They thought something like that would never happen but Road had a smirk on her face as if she had known that would have been the outcome.

“I had no intentions of releasing him, but those Mugen have forced my hand,” Allen tried his best to contain his rage. “For what they forced me to do I want them all dead. I don’t care how and who, just kill all who are related with those bastards.” A sinister grin crossed his lips. “When you all get back we’ll head to the Mugen’s main house for my dear Kanda’s birthday present.” His eyes were wild with sadistic glee. “I’ll give him the head of their boss on a silver platter.”

Tyki smirked too. “I’m sure that will get him back,” he replied.

“So true,” Wisely added with a similar smirk. “Well, let us hurry and finish this mission and return to aid in your romance.”

Road giggled. “One of my favorite past times,” she added. “I am extremely motivated now. So let’s go~”

They all gave a low bow to Allen and without any more words being said, they left. Allen stood at the foyer as he watched their retreating backs. He was anticipating their return and at the same time he was planning his strategy to kill the Mugen Yakuza boss. His death would definitely not be quick and painless. He would make him suffer a million times over before he finally killed him.

There was a pang resonating in his heart and it only increased when he looked at the collar in his hands. “Kanda, after all this is over I’ll get you back,” he gave the collar another kiss. “I swear.”

69 * 69 * 69 * 69 * 69 * 69

For one whole day Kanda did nothing but lie in bed. He didn’t eat, bathe or sleep; all he did was stared up at the white ceiling of his new apartment. It was weird that his body refused to function and it was ever weirder that the reason for his lack of functioning was because he was free. He got what he wanted so why was he like that? The answer was simple, it was all Allen’s fault and it was his fault his heart felt like it was road kill.

He knew why his heart ached so much. It took all that he had to admit to himself that he never hated Allen and even more to look at him in a different way, but it all shattered when Allen released him in such a cold way. He could accept that Allen was a bastard; he could even accept – slightly – that he might have fallen for the asshole but what he couldn’t accept was the way Allen released him. Something wasn’t right about it but he was too out of it to think of a reason to it, so he continued to stare blankly at the ceiling.

The clock on his night table beeped and he turned his head to look at it. He could make out the numbers twelve and a double zero in a bright red colour. The sight only made the pain in his heart more.

“Happy birthday…to me…” his voice sounded hollow.

Another year and another birthday being beyond horribly fucked up. It looked like he was cursed by having his birthday constantly fucked over. The same thing happened every year, so why would he think that this year would be any different. Though, he wouldn’t deny that he was anticipating spending the day with Allen. He knew he was really looking forward to it.

‘Damn.’ He just wanted to close his eyes and then wake up without those stupid feelings. It was dragging him down, making him weak. He didn’t want to be weak but he couldn’t help it. Allen was like a bad addiction and he was hooked.

The hours passed by like a blur but it barely registered to Kanda’s mind. The only thing that made him know that it was morning was the streak of light that peeked in from his half opened windows. It was the morning of his birthday and he felt like crap, all thanks to that bastard Allen Walker. There were so many things he had to be pissed at Allen for, but he was tired.

He stared up at the ceiling unblinking until tears came to his eyes. It shocked him; it honest to goodness shocked him that he was crying and all he could think of was blaming it on Allen. Everything was his fault, even his damned tears was his fucking fault! He was crying damn it! He was fucking crying because of some asshole, how pathetic could he get?

“You are pathetic.”

Kanda couldn’t help but agree with the unknown voice. He was being pathetic and stupid. What the fuck happened to him?

“You fell in love.”

Ok, that unknown voice was getting to Kanda’s head and it seemed it wanted to fuck it up. He gave a throaty chuckle. God, so now he was getting crazy and hearing voices. There was only one person he could blame for it.

“Allen right?” there was a humorless laugh. “You blame him for everything. Couldn’t you consider the fact that you’re to blame too?”

“Shut up,” Kanda growled. He was positive he was loosing his mind, as he replied to the voice.

“Why? I’m only speaking the truth. You’re just blaming Allen because it the easier way.” the voice continued. “You’re being a coward, don’t you love him?”

“No…” Kanda’s tone was low and barely audible.

“Yeah right,” the voice scoffed. “You’re just afraid of losing what you love. Isn’t that right? You loved your parents, your aunt and your grandfather and they all died. Allen isn’t that weak, you won’t cause his ruin!”

Kanda grabbed a pillow and covered his face with it. “Shut up! I don’t want to hear anymore!”

“You damn coward! You’re just running away from your fucking problems! You don’t want to face it so you run. I thought you’ve given up on running. Are you that much of a coward? Is that all you can do?”

Kanda threw the pillow on the ground and sat up, his outlook was furious. “What the fuck do you know!” he screamed out. Great, now he was arguing with the voice in his head.

There wasn’t any reply and Kanda almost sighed in relief but it was short lived.

“I know because I feel the same too.”

Kanda blinked when he saw an image of himself standing before him. To say he was surprised was practically a huge understatement. It was official; he was beyond loony. He could literally see a straightjacket with his name on it and a padded cell that was just calling to him.

“I feel the same too,” the other Kanda repeated. “But I’m more honest than you. I’m not going to fucking sit here and wallow in self-pity for that bastard and I’m not going to run away from what I feel. That’s not who I am.”

Kanda could only stare at the manifestation of himself that was before him, stunned. He seriously wondered if the lack of sleep could cause something like that to happen, but somehow he highly doubted it.

“Oi are you even listening to me?!”

Russet eyes settled on his, er, twin(?) that was pissed off at him at the moment. He was still a bit – more like very – cautious of the person before him and when that Kanda walked up to him and draped him, he was sure it wasn’t reality. Some way along the line he must have fallen asleep without noticing it, that, or it was some sort of trick – a really good one – of the mind.

“Damn you’re pissing me off!” ‘Dream’ Kanda yelled. “What’s with you? Aren’t you pissed too? Don’t you want to snap someone’s neck out of frustration?! I know I do.” He growled and then pushed him back to the bed. “Why are you acting like that?”

“I don’t know,” Kanda replied as he rubbed his throat.

Dream Kanda sighed. “You’re not very honest,” he tsked. “Ch’ I tried! You won’t get anywhere if you don’t try to be a bit honest. When you do, you’ll know what to do.” And with that he disappeared.

In an instant Kanda’s eyes snapped open and he sat up. ‘Fuck what kind of dream was that?’ It was a freaky kind that made it seem that his heart was telling him something. ‘Be honest with myself? Ch’ I am honest.’ He half expected to hear the voice give a reply to that, but there was nothing but silence.

“Maybe I am going crazy,” he kicked off the covers revealing that he was wearing the same clothes he wore when he left Allen’s mansion. There was a pang and he gripped his chest. “Damn it, it hurts…” he didn’t know but maybe trying out what his dream self told him wouldn’t be such a bad idea, if it helped to get rid of the pain in his heart. ‘I got nothing to lose…but my pride...’

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves and looked deep into himself for his true emotion, it wasn’t hard to find as it had been there trying to make itself known for a long while. “I guess there’s no denying it,” he still couldn’t believe what sick tastes he apparently had; “I actually…love him.”

When he admitted that, it was like he was overrun with various emotions. He was sad, bemused, annoyed, angry, homicidal and extremely pissed all at the same time. It was like he could see what he couldn’t bother to think on before and right now he was exceptionally disappointed – and embarrassed – by his behavior. How could he shut down his body like that for a bastard he was supposed to kill? More than being angry with Allen he was pissed off at himself for being so fucking weak.

“I won’t forgive him. That bastard, I’ll kill him on spot when I see him!” Kanda was pissed and he was out for blood, specifically Allen’s blood. How dare that white haired freak use his body and then toss him aside like he was some cheap rag doll. Oh no, things weren’t going to go that way. He’d have his just revenge. “For breaking my heart, I’ll break his fucking arms and legs.”

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“Shit,” Alma punched the wall before him. “Shit, shit, shit!”

He should have known it would be hard; Kanda had managed to stay hidden for almost nine years. There was no way he could find him in a mere three days. ‘Damn it, I’ve wasted too much time!’ He already covered a few leads in a bunch of different cities but they all proved pointless. There was no sight of Kanda but he wasn’t about to give up.

A sense of foreboding hit him and he cringed. ‘Father should have noticed my absence by now…and he might have found Yuu before me…’ he shook his head. There was no way he would think like that now. He had to keep a positive mind. ‘I’ll find Yuu.’

It would have been better if he could have used his many sources but as circumstances have it, he couldn’t risk leaving a trail. Associating with the Mugens at this point would only lead to his capture, so he would do the searching on his own. ‘Alright, that there is the last house in this town, I’ll check it and pray that Yuu’s there.’ If it turned out that Kanda wasn’t the city he was currently in he would try the next town that was an area captured by the Noah Family.

One of his leads was that Kanda was currently with that Mafia and that was why he decided to search their turf. It would be hard but if it helped him to find Kanda he didn’t mind scoping enemy ground.

He walked up to the last house on the block. From what he heard around, a teen lived there alone and thought it might be Kanda. He swallowed his nerves and knocked on the wooden door. God he was so close and he didn’t know what to say. What should he say? Hello? Happy birthday? There was so many scenarios that he was running by in his head but nothing felt right to say. Shit, his palms were sweating now…

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Kanda had just come out of the bathroom when he heard a knock at the door. ‘Who the fuck is that?’ he thought annoyed but he still quickly put his clothes on, which consisted of a loose fitting black cargo pants and a long sleeved mess black shirt along with a short sleeved ripped dark blue graphic tee. His fluffy white towel was on his head as he continued to dry it.

The knocks continued and Kanda clucked his tongue. “Ch’ how annoying, before I kill that asshole I’m murdering that fucker at the door.”

He really wanted to see Allen and give him a fist to the face and a few stabs here and there, but that person at the door was interrupting him. The knocks were getting to be very annoying and he found himself before the door with Mugen in hand ready to hack the person who was there to pieces. He grabbed the knob and yanked the door open only to freeze in his tracks. ‘What the hell is he doing here?’ He looked at the person outside in shock, now that was an unexpected surprise.

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Alma’s smile faltered when he saw that the person who answered the door wasn’t Kanda. ‘Shit, I wasted even more time…’ He apologized to the young boy – who looked nothing like his cousin – and made his way down the street to his next destination. ‘Damn it, the north was a bust…’ He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the couple before him until he almost bumped into them.

He unconsciously sidestepped the pair and that was when he realized that he almost bumped into someone. “Sorry!” he apologized.

Amused gold eyes locked on the boy that passed him. The moves he showed – though briefly – wasn’t of a normal person who wasn’t paying attention to the street. He had some sort of training and it wasn’t the kind the Noah Family gave.

“Hey kid, hold up.”

Alma froze when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to face the person that had stopped him and almost freaked when he saw that it was the Noah Family’s right hand man. ‘Shit, worst day ever.’

“What can I do for you sir?” he asked as politely as he could but that only made Tyki’s smirk widen.

“I’m sure someone like you can be of help,” Tyki’s voice was silky smooth. “Your reflexes are good and familiar. I’m sure I fought you before.”

If it was a good time to freak out Alma knew it was now. Yes, he had fought the man before and he barely made it out of that fight alive. If he got into a fight with him now, he didn’t know if he would survive it. Shit, why did he have to run into him now?!

“Tyki what’s wrong?” Lavi asked.

Alma internally cursed. ‘That redhead’s with him too?’ Things were definitely not looking up for him. If he wasn’t careful he might be killed before he was able to meet up with Kanda, but he couldn’t let that happen. He needed to escape them. ‘Why is the street deserted at a time like this?’

“This kid is a Mugen member,” Tyki replied as his grip on Alma’s shoulder tightened. “I’m sure of it.”

‘Ok time to run,’ Alma quickly grabbed the hand that held his shoulder and twisted it. He used the momentary pause to knock Tyki’s hand off. With Tyki’s hand off he made a dash for it.

“Shit he’s getting away!” Lavi yelled as he and Tyki gave chase. “We need to capture him alive. I want him to spill why they’re attacking Yuu.”

‘Wait, they know Yuu?!’ Alma’s steps slowed to a stop and he turned to face the two Noah Family members. They were now in an empty car lot. “You know Kanda Yuu? Please tell me where he is! He’s in danger!”

Lavi was about to grab at him but he stopped. “Wait Tyki,” he called to his lover who was about to attack Alma. “Let’s hear him out.” He turned to face Alma. “Kid, tell me who you are. Depends on your answer I might or might not kill you.”

Alma didn’t have time to waste. He would co-operate, as he really needed to find Kanda as soon as possible. “I am from the Mugen Yakuza but I left because they were planning on assassinating Yuu.” He lifted up his shirt to show them his tattoo that was etched into his chest. It was the symbol of the Buddhist ohm. “My dad – the temporary head of the Mugen Yakuza – is the one who wants him dead.”

“Wait, what?” Lavi was confused. Why would the boss of an enemy family want to kill Kanda? Was it really all just to piss Allen off? “What’s your name?”

“I’m Alma Karma,” Alma replied. “Yuu’s cousin.”

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“Yuu, long time no see.”

Kanda stared at the man blankly. He had no idea why after nine or so years this man was there to see him. There was plenty of time for him to do that in the past and right now he didn’t want to see him. It was a surprise but not a pleasant one; he had nothing more to do with him as what connected them died a long time ago. For all he cared they weren’t family anymore and were just strangers. He didn’t want to hear what he had to say.

And seriously, how the hell did he get his address anyway?

“Yeah,” he replied with a shrug. “Anyway I have something to do, so see you.” He wasn’t about to stick around as he had pressing issues to deal with.

“Yuu, please wait,” Hiroki tried to stop Kanda from shutting the door. “Have you met with Alma recently?”

‘Alma…’ The name made Kanda’s heart clench painfully. If there were someone he wanted to visit it would be Alma. He really missed his cousin and he wondered how he was doing.

“I haven’t seen Alma in years,” he put emphasis on the word years. “Did something happen?”

Hiroki shook his head. ‘Perfect, I arrived before Alma could talk to him.’ “It’s nothing, but Yuu I’m here to see you. It’s your eighteenth birthday today, is it not?”

“Yeah, so?” Kanda was ready to slam the door shut but his damn uncle was making it kind of hard. ‘Stupid foot, damn I should just crush it.’

Hiroki’s smile widened. “You did well to survive this long,” just as he said that a bunch of guys crashed in from the glass windows and surrounded Kanda. “Your skills are developing.”

Kanda recognized the men as the ones that always attacked him. He backed away from the door with Mugen unsheathed and glared at his uncle, poised and ready to strike at any given moment.

“What the fuck is going on?!” he demanded. “Are you the one who sent those bastards after me?!”

Hiroki’s eyes were locked on the Katana in Kanda’s hands. His expression was unreadable but then a smile lit up his face. “I should have known you would be the one with Mugen.”

Kanda’s glare darkened. “Answer me damn it!” he yelled as his eyes travelled from those who surrounded him and back to his uncle. “Did you send them?”

“Yes, I sent those assassins after you,” Hiroki replied with a calm smile. “But it is not for the reason you think. I sent them to test your skills and you passed.” He snapped his fingers and the men surrounding Kanda fell to their knees in a bow. “It was to prepare you for what to come and I will be your guide.”

Kanda was still wary of them and didn’t lower his guard. “What in fucks name are you talking about?” he yelled. “You send those assassins to test my skills? What kind of nonsense are you sprouting?” He adjusted his grip on his sword and shifted his weight to his legs. “You’re the boss of the Mugen Yakuza aren’t you? You send those assholes to kill me right?” He gritted his teeth when the thought of his crybaby cousin being involved in something like that.

“I am just the temporary boss,” Hiroki replied coolly as if Kanda didn’t look ready to strike him where he stood. “Yuu, you don’t think that your father was just a mere bank manager right?”

“What are you talking about?” Kanda snapped. He didn’t like to talk about his parents especially about what they did for a living. His father was usually away for a long period of time for work but he never let that bother him when he was younger. He was sure that his dad wasn’t involved in anything that was illegal.

“The Mugen Yakuza isn’t mine to lead as I’m not blood related to the ruling family,” Hiroki replied. “I was only the head for so long because I was married to the previous boss’s sister. The true heir hadn’t come of age that was why I took over, but it is different as you’re now eighteen.”

The pieces were connecting itself in Kanda’s head. ‘No way, don’t tell me…’ His grip on Mugen slackened when he saw his uncle bow before him. ‘This can’t be real…’

“The Mugen Yakuza belongs to the Kanda family and you Kanda Yuu are the rightful heir. You are the sixteenth boss of the Mugen Yakuza.”

Kanda couldn’t believe his ears. He was the rightful boss for the Yakuza that was the enemy of the Noah Family? And what was more complicated was that he was in love – he thought – with the enemy boss Allen Walker. Could this be any more levels of fucked up?

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“Wait let me get this straight,” Lavi was sure something was seriously wrong with his hearing. “You’re the son of the ‘temporary’ Mugen Yakuza boss,” Alma nodded, “and that boss is planning on killing Yuu because Yuu is the real boss.” Alma nodded again.

“So we need to hurry, I’m sure my dad found Yuu already!” Alma yelled. God he was so worried about Kanda. His tears were threatening to fall but he wouldn’t let them. “Tell me where Yuu is, I have to find him.”

Lavi was still trying to wrap his mind around the new information he was given. ‘Yuu is the boss of the Mugen Yakuza? He’s the enemy boss?’ He still couldn’t believe it.

“Well that is an unexpected surprise,” Tyki added with a smirk. “I knew Allen loved to mess around with dangerous things, but having the enemy boss as his lover that takes the cake.”

Alma’s ears perked up at the word lover. “Lover? Yuu has a lover?” he felt jealous and seriously pissed off. “My Yuu is involved with that guy?!” There was no way he would leave is precious cousin in the hands of that mad man. He knew of Allen Walker’s reputation and he would rather die than leave his Yuu with him.

“I would watch what you say,” Tyki began in a dark tone. “Speak any ill of our boss and I will not hesitate to kill you on the spot.”

Alma glared at Tyki. He was already being pushed over the edge by hearing that Kanda was that bastard Walker’s lover. ‘More like sex slave!!’ He had heard of his character and he was sure his Yuu was being forced. If Tyki pissed him of anymore he was sure he would kill him.

“Oi you two calm down!” Lavi yelled. He had a lock on Tyki’s wrist. “We need to hurry back, Yuu is in danger.”

“Lavi, we can’t do that,” Tyki said with a sigh. “We got a direct order from the boss. Until we finish this mission we can’t leave.”

Lavi knew that, but he just couldn’t abandon Kanda. “There haven’t been any attacks so far and I doubt there will be. I’m still questioning if there is going to be a raid.”

“Raid? Oh that is today I almost forgot,” Alma began. Lavi and Tyki turned their attention to him. They were interested in what he had to say. “It’s a feint, my father planned this to lure out the traitor in our Yakuza. He announced this mission to everyone to trap any enemy Mafia who was foolish enough to spy on us.”

Lavi was beginning to get it. “So the traitor would report back to our family of their plans, and then our boss would spread his best teams all over to protect the various areas, leaving their main target barely protected,” he could see the pieces coming together. “But what is their main target? Yuu?”

Alma shook his head. “Your boss,” he replied. “The only one who was told of the real plan was me. After those who protected him were gone – namely his elite associates, father and I along with a selected others would attack the Noah main house and kill Allen Walker. After your boss is gone father would be able to take control of Japan’s underworld.”

“That bastard,” Tyki could barely control his anger at what he heard. “This was all a plot, damn it!”

“Shit, they planned it really well,” Lavi pulled his phone from his pocket. “We have to alert the others about this scheme. Not only Yuu but the boss is also in danger.” He knew Allen could take care of him self but what if they used Kanda against him? “Tyki, Alma come on lets go. It will take at least five hours to get to Allen’s mansion by chopper.” He dialed Cyril’s number. “I’ll tell Cyril and have him inform everyone. In the meanwhile we should hurry to the boss.”

Tyki nodded. He didn’t care if Kanda was the boss of that fucking Yakuza, he would kill anyone who dared to lay a hand on Allen.

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Kanda was still trying to wrap his mind around what his uncle just told him. It sounded farfetched but why the hell would his uncle make something like that up? He didn’t know what to believe, and he didn’t know if he could believe his uncle. But what basis did his uncle have for lying to him about something that big? And why didn’t his father tell him anything about it? So did it mean that his father was hiding all that from him? If so, did it have to do with why he was murdered?

“Was this why father was killed?” he asked in a low voice. “Did they kill him because he was the Mugen Yakuza boss? Who killed him?”

Hiroshi smiled sadly. “Your father kept all information about the Mugen Yakuza secret to protect his family, I knew of it because I married his sister. He didn’t want to involve you and that was why you were kept in the dark,” he replied. “Kozato wanted to protect you and made sure that you would not be involved with the Yakuza, but that night an enemy Mafia infiltrated the mansion and your father, mother and my wife was killed.”

“Who did it?” was all that Kanda asked. He didn’t care who it was; he would destroy the ones who murdered his family. That was his goal. He wanted revenge.

“The Noah Family,” Hiroki replied. He was still on his knees so Kanda wasn’t able to see the smirk that crossed his lips. “That is the reason as to why we aim to destroy their Mafia, we want revenge for our boss.”

Kanda was silent. It explained some of the animosity that the two groups had for each other but he couldn’t help but feel as if there was another deeper meaning to it, one that he couldn’t see. Also there was apart of him telling him not to trust his uncle, but there was another part of him who wanted to kill the ones who murdered his family and that side won.

Hiroki looked up to Kanda. “What will you do?” he asked. “Will you take over the Yakuza that is in your birthright? You must, as it is the only way for you to live.”

Taking over a Yakuza wasn’t what Kanda had intended but how could he deny it. The Yakuza belonged to his father and all the members of the Kanda family. It would be a shame if he – as a Kanda descendant – refused the title. After all the Yakuza belonged to his family, why not take over?

“It belonged to my father, I see no reason why I shouldn’t take over,” Kanda grinned. He wanted to find out more about his parents deaths but for that he needed to see Allen once more. “I have some business to attend to, will you accompany me?”

Hiroki smirked and nodded. “Yes, boss.”

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A/N: ok show of hands for those who expected all of that? Hehehe it was a given. Ah I apologize for the late update! I’ve had it for a long while but I had no internist access! Plus the company that I work with do not allow their workers to use the internet for personal use…god that’s so sucky!(if it wasn’t for the fact that I need cash I’d so leave my job!) Man I can’t wait for school to start in January…at least then all I have to worry about are tests – hmm maybe that’s gonna be harder? Well thank you all for reading, reviewing and what not. Only two chapters remain for this story, sad aint it? I’m gonna try and make sure at least one of em’ have a very nice lemon in it~ R&R okies! Mwaahh~!x20

Next Chapter: In The Eyes Of Betrayal

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