Gone Forever | By : Nayru774 Category: +. to F > D. Gray Man Views: 3479 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray-man, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Warnings: Overflow of bad language, violence, blood, physical and mental torture (if you can call it that), a psycho/pervert on the loose, angst and some lemony stuff.
~Gone Forever~
Chapter 14th
The brush of lips against lips, hesitant and innocent at first, more daring and greedy a short moment after, and he couldn't help but notice how right and good it felt, how he didn't mind at all, how he wanted this, how he needed this, how the other's silent moan sent a shiver down his spine–
"Kanda…"
How the fuck did it come to this again, he couldn't recall – and did it matter, really? – while trailing his fingers against the heated skin, making the boy tremble and shiver, lips locked, the battle of tongues becoming needy and messy and dirty, and the way things were going–
Allen's moan echoed in his ears again, and fuck, how he wanted this, how he wanted to make the little idiot squirm beneath him, from pleasure and from pain, and – why was he letting him do this? – shaky hands tangling in the strands of long hair, another moan escaping as that warm tightness surrounded him, overwhelming, setting his senses on fire–
Darkness greeted him thereafter, and it took a moment for Kanda to realize that he was lying in bed on his side, in the same room that he fell asleep a few hours earlier. He wasn't sure what woke him up, but the fact that he got out of his dream world was both reassuring and a little… disappointing at the same time.
Way to go for perfect timing.
Fuck… What the fuck was that? The Japanese covered his face with his hand, as he rolled onto his back, exhaling. It occurred to him that he was feeling way too hot for his liking, and the reason behind it was obvious.
Fuck, that was awkward. It wasn't the first time he experienced a dream of such nature, but it was the first time it had happened with Allen, and he knew it should disturb him. But it wasn't really the issue of who it happened with, rather than how it happened. Because sex with that idiot was never supposed to be that affectionate, so full of feeling and concern and unspoken words.
It confused him. It confused the living shit out of him. Oh, how he hated this.
Suddenly shaken out of his thoughts, memories of the past evening assaulted him and Kanda noticed that something was missing.
Allen wasn't in bed with him anymore.
Alerted, the Japanese sat up on the bed, abruptly. The whole place was still shrouded in darkness, but with effort, he managed to recognize the outlines of furniture present in the room. His immediate thought was that Walker made a run for it, disappear somewhere, because he couldn't really picture him taking night strolls in his situation, but then he remembered that the boy was supposed to be weak from the blood loss, and surely wouldn't be able to get far on his own. Maybe he just went to the bathroom?
All of Kanda's doubts left him as he noticed a silhouette standing in front of the window, illuminated by the dim light of the moon.
Was it Allen?
"What the fuck are you doing?" The Japanese asked, his voice demanding and loud in the lingering silence.
Walker just kept staring at the window, blatantly ignoring the question. Then, giving the impression as if the words have reached him just now, he turned in the older man's direction, doing it in a slow–like motion. And as odd as it was – maybe even a little creepy, Kanda couldn't help but note – he just kept staring at the Japanese, not saying anything.
The dark-haired frowned. "It's still cold like hell in here. Aren't you cold?"
A small smile creped on to the white-haired's lips, and the gesture seemed far from less creepy than the previous one. "…Not anymore."
Staring at the boy suspiciously, Kanda threw the bed cover to the side, revealing his naked chest to the chilly air of the room, then got out of bed and approached him. "So, what are you doing, standing in front of the window like an idiot?"
"I couldn't sleep." The younger of the two answered, looking back in the direction of the glassy barrier. "The moon is so beautiful today, too."
The Japanese raised an eyebrow at that. Something was definitely off about Walker. Not only was he acting weird, he was also speaking nonsense. What was up with that comment? "Did you hit your head yesterday or something?"
Allen kept staring at the window before him, apparently not set on giving an answer to the question. But then, he turned back in the Japanese's direction, a weird glimmer in his eyes.
Kanda kept wondering what Moyashi was up to as the boy shifted closer to him.
"Say… Kanda." The white-haired spoke in a calm tone, almost a whisper, getting closer and closer. The Japanese's frown grew as the boy snaked his arms around his waist, pressing a cheek to his chest. "What do you really think about me?"
The dark-haired stiffened at the sudden question, not moving. He felt like shoving Moyashi away the moment the brat had touched him, but he stopped himself from doing it, for whatever reason. He couldn't help but notice that Walker was starting to get too comfortable with him, though. What the hell was up with that question, anyway? Did his late night invitation give him stupid ideas? Was it wrong of him to do that?
All of Kanda's thoughts were forced aside as the younger boy suddenly lifted his head, looking him straight in the eyes.
And the dark-haired was certain that something was off, but he couldn't pinpoint what it was; he just stared at the other with a deep frown on his face. He kept asking himself why wasn't he pushing the brat away yet, as if intrigued by those orbs, and for some reason, uncertainty started to appear somewhere at the pit of his stomach.
Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong, and his brain was screaming at him to get away from the unwelcomed body contact.
Only more confusion assaulted him as a wicked grin appeared on the white-haired boy's lips, and suddenly…
"You let your guard down in front of Allen pretty much these days, don't you?"
Suddenly, everything made sense. The meaning behind the brat's words, the amusement in his voice, the thing that was off about him – the slight change in his appearance, hardly perceptible in the dark. Everything made sense now.
But the realization came a second too late, because the moment Kanda understood what situation he was actually in, he was already hitting his head against the wooden post of the bed behind him. He cursed at himself for being so stupid, to let himself being taken off guard so easily, and he swore he could see stars from the impact, loosing comprehension of what was going on for a blink of an eye. The shove was strong.
If he only got his hands on that son of a bitch−
"Ghaaah!"
Sudden, sharp pain assaulted both of his hands, making Kanda's eyes go wide open. Something warm and wet trailed down his skin, leaving little to the imagination of what it was. He tried to move, but both of his limbs were deemed immobile, nailed with something above his head.
When Kanda's vision finally recovered, he realized what had happened. The bastard just pierced his palms into the wooden bed frame with Mugen−
"What the fuck−? Ghh!" The Japanese winced as he tried to pull his hands free, causing himself only more pain. The edge of the blade was digging into his palm, hindering his movements.
Weight appeared in his lap all of a sudden; the white-haired boy made himself comfortable by straddling his hips, bringing Kanda's attention back to him.
Dark eyes met with golden ones.
"You… You're that Noah." Kanda clenched his teeth, disgust and anger flowing from his words.
"The Fourteenth. Or so you like to call me." The boy spoke calmly, smile on his lips. One of his hands traveled to the other's face, stroking his cheek with a thumb gently. "It's nice to finally meet you… Kanda."
The dark-haired turned his head to the side abruptly, breaking the contact. "Go fuck yourself."
"It's no fun to do it alone."
"I'll fucking kill you."
"Yes, I know. I've heard that already." The Fourteenth spoke as if it were no big deal. "But let me ask you this…" The white-haired took Kanda's face in both of his hands this time, bringing his lips dangerously close to the other's. "What can you do in your current situation?"
Both the gesture and the question made the older man's blood boil. What the hell was this bastard trying to accomplish? "If you want me to bite your tongue off, then go ahead."
"You'd bite Allen's tongue off, Kanda?" The Fourteenth asked with fake concern.
"You're not him."
"It's still his body, you know."
"If you were aware of what was going on this whole time, then you should already know this: I don't give a fuck." The Japanese hissed.
"Oh, I think it's quite the contrary, Kanda dear."
"I dare you to call me that again." The dark-haired stared bloody murder at the brat. "Hearing you speak with Walker's voice in such a tone makes me want to kill you ten times more."
"Such a pity." The Fourteenth let go of the other's face and pulled a few inches away, smiling amusedly. "Kanda dear."
Kanda couldn't take it anymore − he'd fucking kill that bastard, cost it what it may.
Jerking on Mugen, a new wave of pain flashed through his limbs, but he fucked it, he dearly fucked it−
The white-haired stopped him in his attempt, however, pressing a hand to the Japanese's wrists, hindering his movement. Kanda clenched his teeth together so tightly it almost hurt.
"That healing ability of yours, it's quite amazing." The Noah spoke in a calm voice, as if nothing actually happened. "If I were to cut your hands off, would they regenerate, too?"
Kanda stiffened at the words, his eyes widening the tiniest bit.
The bastard, he wouldn't−
"I'll take that as a 'no', then." The white-haired shifted closer again, bringing his lips near the other man's ear, his next words coming out as a whisper. "Be careful what you're doing."
The Japanese cursed at himself again. How could he let something like this happen? He was trapped like some kind of mouse, and the cat was apparently in the mood to play, not kill its victim immediately. Fucking Noah, what did he want to gain from any of this?
But he knew he needed to stay calm if he wanted to get out of this with his hands still intact. Well, maybe not his hands, but a pretty massive amount of his remaining lifespan.
"Stupid brat, he was wrong after all." Kanda spoke, apparently pointing to Allen, surprising the Fourteenth. The dark-haired decided to give a shot at a more strategic approach − less acting, more talking. "How did you manage to awaken, anyway?"
"Hmm… Things could get troublesome for me if I told you, so… I won't."
"You just gave me a fucking hint."
"It's more fun that way, isn't it?"
"Fun? You're not right in the head."
"No, you just have no sense of humor, Kanda dear."
The older man felt like choking the bastard to death again, but he suppressed his whim. "…Who's side are you on?"
"Allen asked me about it already."
"You didn't answer him."
"So, give me a reason why I should give an answer to you?"
Kanda turned silent and the Fourteenth's grin grew wider.
"I'm on my own side."
The tone the Noah answered him in made the dark-haired doubt the sincerity in those words. "So you're neither on the Earl's or the Order's side."
"So it seems. But the Order and I have the same goal."
"You want to kill the Earl." Kanda concluded. "Why?"
"I have my reasons."
The older man turned silent again. The Noah wasn't giving him any decent answers so far and Kanda had the impression he had no intention of changing that, whatsoever.
It pissed him off.
"Let me ask you a few questions in return now." The Fourteenth suddenly exclaimed.
"You hardly answered any of mine− che!" Kanda winced as the Noah tugged on Mugen's hilt, making him shut up.
"What is Allen to you?" The white-haired asked with morbid curiosity, getting dangerously close again.
"…Why the fuck do you care?"
"Do you really hate him as much as you claim to?" A hand was placed on the older man's upper part of the chest and started to slide lower, very slowly. "Because if you do… then maybe the two of us could hook up sometime."
What the fuck? "Don't make me laugh." Kanda couldn't believe this. "Over my dead body."
"Be careful what you wish for, Kanda dear."
"Had you wanted to kill me you would have tried doing it hours ago." The Japanese couldn't help but conclude, remembering Walker's figure in front of the window. "Just what the fuck do you want from me?"
"What I want?" The Noah repeated the question, slight amusement in his voice. "What do I want, I wonder?"
Kanda stiffened when the Fourteenth got closer to him again. Suddenly, he could feel the other's feathery breath brushing the skin of his neck and a hand on his abdomen, teasing him with circle-like motions. The Japanese's mind was starting to go rigid.
"Let's play a game, shall we?" The words echoed in the older man's ears. "I'll ask you a question. And if you answer it right... I might let you go."
The older Exorcist swallowed, noticing how dry his throat has become. What the hell was up with that lunatic now? The fucking Noah was playing with him, teasing him, just what was he trying to accomplish? He was nuts. He was seriously nuts.
"Like you'd do that." Kanda didn't seem convinced.
"I stay by my rules." The white-haired assured. "And if you don't believe me... Do you have anything to lose, really?"
The Japanese took a moment to think about it, adrenaline overwhelming his body, heartbeat quickening. Experiencing what the Noah did so far, Kanda was certain he wouldn't ask anything normal. "I dare to claim I do." He answered in slight sarcasm. "But fine. What's the fucking question?"
The Fourteenth smiled at the positive response, shifting closer again. "What do I want from you, Kanda? That, exactly, is the question."
The dark-haired stiffened, feeling a warm and wet muscle connecting with his neck. The nerve of that bastard, he just wanted to tease him again, didn't he? Such a stupid question it was, so totally not obvious. And he wanted him to say it out loud? Fucking pervert−
"Don't fucking touch me." The Japanese hissed the moment the Noah's hand crossed the border of his pants.
"The clock is ticking, Kanda dear." The boy spoke as calmly as ever. "Give me an answer before it's too late."
"You−" Fucking pervert− Kanda cursed, rage overwhelming his senses. He'd kill that bastard, he'd fucking kill him−
Closing his eyes, he tried to stay calm and get a hold of himself.
"...You want to fuck with me, don't you, you sick bastard?"
The Fourteenth went still at the answer, then pulled away from the other man, that goddamn smile of his finally gone. And Kanda dearly hoped he managed to hit the nail on the spot… Or on second thought, he wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not.
But the next moment the smirk crept back to the Noah's lips, and it was pretty much self-explanatory.
"Wrong."
"Che." Kanda yanked on Mugen's edge, more raw pain flashing through his nerves. Unfortunately, even with the help of his anger, he wasn't able to pull out the sword this way. "What do you want, then, you pervert?"
"I wasn't the one to get perverted ideas, Kanda dear." The white-haired remarked amusedly. "Maybe that's what you wanted?"
"Cut the crap. I'm not in the mood for your messed up mind games."
"You really have a stick up your ass, Kanda."
"Fuck you." Kanda hissed, wondering if it was his imagination, or did the Fourteenth really sound a tad angered right now. "And bring Walker back, because I know he's still somewhere in there−"
"Shut up." The Noah demanded and apparently it wasn't the Japanese's imagination, after all.
What now, was Allen a touchy subject for the bastard?
The smaller boy suddenly laughed, startling Kanda a bit. "You really are something. I don't know if you're really brave or just stupid, but you're something, nevertheless." The Fourteenth admitted, amusement in his voice. "I'd think twice before provoking me like this if I were you."
"Well, thank God I'm not." The dark-haired remarked sarcastically. "I'd probably hang myself from the excess of issues I'd have."
The Noah went silent at that, staring at the man with an expression Kanda failed to name. "Heh. I'm starting to like you."
"Well, sorry, but the feeling's not mutual."
"Yet."
"You're so full of yourself."
"I could say the same about you." The white-haired conquered the man's words with ease, smiling at the other knowingly. "But let us not stray from the main topic any further." He decided, shifting closer to Kanda once more. "Did you figure out what I want from you by now?"
The Japanese turned his head to the side as the damn Noah brought his face too close to him again. He could feel the brat's breath brush against his cheek. "Too bad I don't know what goes on in a lunatic's head."
"I'm no more messed up than you are, Kanda dear."
"Was that supposed to be a joke?" The older man deadpanned, not amused.
"Well, you should know that better than I do." The Fourteenth snaked his arms around the dark-haired's neck, bringing him into an embrace. "I'm not here to convince you otherwise."
"Will you finally tell me what the fuck are you here for, then?" Kanda was seriously starting to lose his patience.
The Noah didn't say anything for a short moment, simply enjoying the contact. Then, a hand trailed down the Japanese's side, and Kanda couldn't help but tense up, feeling how close it got to the border of his pants.
"Fun, Kanda. I want to have some fun with you. That's all."
"What−"
He wanted to ask what he meant by that exactly, since he apparently didn't have sex in mind, but the voice died in his throat as the Noah pulled back and sank lower. The Japanese only watched as the other started working on the belt and zipper of his pants, shamelessly so, soon bringing his boxers into view and what they covered underneath.
Kanda clenched his teeth when cold fingers tangled around his length, making his mind go fuzzy around the edges. The Noah's movements were far from bashful – the bastard knew exactly what he was doing. And fuck, how he hated it right now.
"You seem to get aroused easily." The Fourteenth mocked him.
"Shut the fuck up!" The dark-haired finally found it in himself to fire back, far from pleased with the whole situation. "And get your stinking hands off of me!"
"Oh, do you really want that?" The Noah licked his lips seductively, catching Kanda's gaze with his. "Would you prefer it if Allen was the one doing it?"
"What if I did?" The dark-haired's voice was filled with venom.
"Oh?" The boy seemed amused at the remark. "Finally some honesty in you."
"What are you trying to pull?"
"I'll be trying to change that." The Noah exclaimed.
"Change what?"
The Fourteenth wasn't intending to clear his doubts with a straightforward answer, it seemed, because the next moment all he did was avert his gaze from the other and sank even lower. Before Kanda knew it, there was a wet heat surrounding him, and he couldn't help but close his eyes at the feeling, a strangled breath leaving his lips.
Fucking Noah, fucking Noah, fucking− He tried his best to concentrate on anything but the overwhelming sensation, but the way the bastard suck on him made it pretty much impossible. It's as if he knew exactly which buttons to push and what to do, and the dark-haired could only conclude this couldn't have been the first time the Fourteenth was doing this to someone. Far from it. Fucking whore−
A shiver ran down Kanda's spine as he felt the other's lips leave his hardened length, leaving it exposed to the cold air, only to come back a second later. And he sucked again, and trailed his tongue teasingly along the heated flesh, and, fuck, fuck, fuck−
The dark-haired man found himself panting from the feeling, though still tried to restrain himself from making any embarrassing noises. He wouldn't give the bastard the satisfaction. No way in hell−
"Gh…" He could feel himself getting close to the edge already. The pressure in the lower part of his abdomen was building and building, and shit, the way things were going−
Suddenly, the warmth was gone, and Kanda had to open his eyes, only to see how the Noah pulled away from him, looking back at him, bringing his face closer to his.
A crooked smile decorated his lips, as he licked on his fingers, wet with pre-cum.
"Do you want me to continue, Kanda?" The white-haired asked teasingly, a triumphant look on his face.
Oh, bloody hell− "You son of a bitch…"
"Hmm? Was that a 'no'?"
"I'm going to fucking kill you…" Kanda tried to stay calm, he really tried.
The Noah seemed hardly impressed from the threat as he looked at the man with half-lidded eyes, his smile fading, and he brought a finger to the dark-haired's length, trailing along it teasingly. The Japanese's eye twitched, bloody murder in his eyes.
The Fourteenth's mouth was back at his length again, only to disappear a moment after as well, and the older man wanted to curse like a sailor, but he didn't, just closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on anything, anything but this. The bastard wasn't going to get any of it.
"I can continue, you know…" A whisper reached Kanda's ear, feathery breath brushing his earlobe. "If you beg me for it."
The Japanese didn't know if he should just stay silent and wait for whatever was bound to happen to happen, or try to backfire at the bastard with all of his strength. Because the option of giving in wasn't even an option to begin with. He had his fucking pride.
But the need for release was so strong that he had a hard time thinking straight whatsoever.
"Heh, you really are something, Kanda." The Noah suddenly spoke, startling the other out of his thoughts. "Your stubbornness and self-esteem can be admirable sometimes. Though it's really unnecessary most of the time. Why not just give in? It would make things easier for the both of us."
The Japanese clicked his tongue. "Not like someone like you would understand."
"Hmm… intriguing." The Fourteenth smirked. "I guess I can understand Allen, to an extent."
Whatever the brat meant by that, Kanda wasn't sure. But he already knew that simply asking about it would take him nowhere.
"Well, no matter." The Noah said, looking resigned all of a sudden. The next moment, he was all over the dark-haired again, straddling his hips, pressing with a thigh against his erection, hands tangled around his neck, locked in a firm embrace. "I'm already looking forward to our next encounter, Kanda. And by the way…" The white-haired got close to the man's ear, whispering. "Did you enjoy your dream?"
Something stirred inside of Kanda's stomach at the question and he couldn't help but feel… utterly exposed before the other. How did the bastard know–
Before he managed to contemplate on any of it, there was a forehead pressing to his own, and the Noah closed his eyes. A short moment after, no gold greeted the other anymore, just silver, plain and familiar, and Kanda was surprised how reassured it made him actually feel.
"Moyashi?" He asked, unsure what to think of feel.
The boy blinked a few times, expressionless. And then, as if something finally managed to get through to him, his eyes widened and he stared at the dark-haired, mere inches apart from him, as if he's just seen a ghost. "Kan… da?"
What… What the hell was this? Why was he embracing Kanda? Why was he sitting in his lap? Weren't they, like… lying in bed just a few moments ago?
What were they doing? Why was he here?
"Kanda, I…" Allen trailed off, confusion and horror and fear in his voice. "What–" He suddenly pulled away, abruptly, only to notice something warm pressing against his thigh and the sight of Kanda's crimson-stained hands above them. Needless to say, he was speechless. Thousands of questions ran through his brain, making him more and more terrified with every passing second. I– How– No– No, no, no, please, no– "Kanda, did I–"
"Shut up." The Japanese finally spoke, growling in irritation. Goddamn, for some reason the boy's stupid reaction made his blood boil, and even though he felt relieved a second earlier, frustration was assaulting him at the speed of light now. Moyashi's behavior only confirmed his belief that he indeed wasn't aware what the Fourteenth did. "Shut up and finish what you started."
"What I–?" Allen stammered again, not understanding, but he finally decided to get a hold of himself. He frowned and not wasting any more time, he stood up and caught Mugen by the hilt, pulling it out with one go.
"Ghh…" Kanda hissed as the blade retreated, finally putting his hands free, fresh blood staining his hands. He exhaled shakily, hearing how the sword collided with the floor and the white-haired boy looked at him with both confusion and concern.
"I'll get the first aid–"
Allen was surprised when he suddenly felt an arm yanking him back, forcefully so, and he lost his balance and fell to his knees, right beside the dark-haired man. The grip on his arm was strong. "I said, finish what you started." Kanda, hissed, demanding, anger staining his voice.
The attitude angered the boy in return. "You're bleeding, Kanda." Allen pointed out the obvious.
"It will heal in a while." The Japanese complained. Losing his patience, he caught a fistful of white hair and tugged the younger Exorcist's head downwards, so that the idiot would get the idea. "Finish what you fucking started!"
Surprisingly or not, the boy wasn't intending to comply with the 'request', as he yanked Kanda's hand away, white strands of hair stained with a crimson hue. He looked at the other with an angered expression, and the dark-haired stared at him back, the air between them heavy as never before.
Then, all of a sudden, the Japanese broke eye contact by averting his gaze to the side, shoved Allen away and stood up, making his way towards the door.
"Eat something, then go to bed." Kanda ordered, his voice stern. "I'm going to take a shower."
The white-haired just sat there, not moving, and stared at the strains of blood on the bed and floor, as he heard the other man leave the room, shutting the door loudly behind him.
Confused and totally out of it, Allen tried to put two and two together and comprehend what the bloody hell just happened.
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