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Seizensetsu	By : GintaxAlvissforever Category: Pokemon > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2581 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon Best Wishes or Pokémon Black and White. I only own Kurtz and anyone associated with Trip. I'm not making money off of this story either.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Seizensetsu

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon Best Wishes, Pokémon Black and White or Pokémon Colosseum and XD Gale of Darkness. I only own Kurtz, Tio, Tiana, Est and anyone associated with Trip.

Summary: Trip is out of his mind and he has every right to after what his uncle and his friends did to him. His sanity level is at its peak and everything from his past catches up to him as he feels the need to end everything quickly before things get any worse. Can Ash snap him out of these suicidal thoughts before its too late?

Pairing: Ash/Trip, Cilan/Iris with hints of Cilan/Trip, Blair/Bianca and Blair/N

Chapter 13: Sea of Oblivion Scatters

They finally let up a few hours before morning. The damage was already done though. Trip's body was aching all over when Bane and his men were finally satisfied. The truth was they weren't finished but Trip apparently blacked out on them. His uncle was forced to take him back to his room and threw him on the bed. When Trip woke up though, he remembered every little detail of the night he had and instantly got up and rushed to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He made it to his toilet and started throwing up. His stomach was messed up badly from the night before and that's all he wanted to do, but they forced him to swallow everything. It was sickening.

"Why me…?" Trip asked himself. "Why did this happen to me?"

His uncle told him it was his fault that he got raped and that he shouldn't expect anyone to feel sorry for him. Nobody cared when someone lost their virginity to anyone and that was the type of world they lived in. He wished he were in Ash's shoes because he could always smile and anticipate a great day the world would throw at him. He couldn't do that and after what happened, Trip felt like everything around him was an illusion and he was just dreaming.

"I need to wake up…" He told himself. "I got to…"

Flushing the toilet a few more times, he closed the lid before he jumped into the shower. The water was cold but he needed the icy drops on his body. He wanted to wash everything away. The blood, the semen, the pain…everything. He just wanted everything to go away when he was done with the shower.

Taking the sponge that was hanging from the fosset he scrubbed himself to get rid of all the fluids that were on his body. However, even when most of the fluids were watching down the drain, he continued to scrub all over.

"It's not going away." He kept telling itself. "It's still here!"

He was referring to their scent. They reeked of alcohol and drugs and he still felt their scent on his body.

"Go away...go away...go away..."

He really was losing it. Trip was certain he was in the shower for a long time when he heard his uncle knock on his door.

"I'm just checking to see if my angel is in there." Bane could be heard from the other side, "I'm going to run a few errands. Don't you dare leave this mansion because if you do, your Pokémon will be the ones to suffer!"

His uncle continued to laugh as he walked away from the door. Trip didn't dare leave his spot in fear that his uncle was still at the door waiting to pounce him.

"Son of a...dammit..."

The photographer slammed his fist against the wall. He hated feeling powerless in this situation. He just wanted someone to assure him that everything would be okay. Bane's words clouded his mind though telling him that no one would forgive a murderer, not even Ash and judging from Ash's reaction to the dead bodies, Trip knew this was true. None of them needed to know what he did to protect himself...

"That's a lie..." He muttered, "I killed those men for fun...I'm no better than that bastard..."

The water was getting too cold for his body. Trip had to get out eventually. Wrapping a towel around his body hoping that he would be able to cover his dignity with it, he rushed out of the bathroom and toward his room. He stopped though when he reached his room though. Paranoia started to eat at him. He kept asking himself, "What if they were behind this door waiting for me to let my guard down?" He realized that he didn't feel safe in his own room at all and rushed to a room that he knew he could find comfort in...the room Ash stayed in.

Once he reached the guest room, he quickly locked the door. His heart was still beating despite being safe in this room. Glancing around the room, Trip realized something that was on the bed. Slowly, he walked over to the bed and plopped on top of it. He didn't change the bed sheets because he didn't have time to do that when the living room and kitchen needed the most touching up to do. Ash's scent still lingered on the bed as a result. While Ash's scent wasn't the best in terms of smell, it was better than what Trip went through last night. He would rather absorb and memorize the scent of someone that cared for him then those that stole his virginity last night.

The blanket was starting to get soaked. The dirty blonde didn't realize he was crying until the blanket became a little damp.

"Ash...please help me..." He cried softly to himself, "I can't handle this alone..."

Trip realized it was futile to cry for someone who wasn't going to help him no matter what, and that's why he felt a pain in his heart. He should have realized something important before it was too late.

"Ash...I'm scared..." He continued as he curled up in a ball. Why didn't he tell Ash this when he was still here? Maybe there would have been a chance for him but that opportunity was gone. He would never see Ash again...

The photographer realized that he had his hand on something hard. Looking up, he couldn't see what it was because his tears blurred his vision. Wiping away his tears though, Trip realized that it was a badge case and it belonged to Ash. Opening it up, Trip saw there were four badges with the bolt badge being the recent by the obvious shininess.

"...That idiot forgot his badge case..." He mumbled as he slowly got off the bed. Looking at the counter, he noticed that Bianca also left her badge case here. He realized that the two wouldn't be able to get far without it meaning they would come back anyway...but if they came back to this mansion, his uncle would kill them.

"I can't allow that...I'll never allow that."

Trip suddenly jumped out of the bed and searched the closet. His clothes were scattered around the mansion so it was easy to find a pair of clothes to go out in. He also found a rope at the back of the drawer. Trip laughed bitterly to himself that he recalled keeping a rope back here in case he wanted to hang someone in the middle of the night. He would use it to escape the mansion and be back before his uncle came back. It wasn't like his uncle checked every room in the mansion anyway.

"...Wait for me everyone...I'll be back."

He was referring to Vanillite and the rest of his Pokémon. He quickly tied a rope to the bed post before he slid down the rope with the two badge cases in hand.

Ash learned something from the Nurse Joys in the Unova region and the Nurse Joys in his region. They had sedatives ready if something bad were to happen unlike the ones from the Kanto region that always tried to voice their reason instead of getting their hands dirty.

That's what ended up happening. Nurse Joy was very quick with knocking out Trip during his freak out. She asked Blair to help her bring Trip to the back of the Pokémon Center. Everyone else was told to wait outside. However, the innocent bystanders instantly left in fear that Trip would attack them when he woke up.

Ash didn't understand what happened. One moment Trip was fine and the next minute, he threw a tantrum like a little kid. Burgundy made sure that Cilan wasn't injured but that wasn't what Cilan had on his mind on, as he too was worried about the younger trainer. Iris kept asking the Kanto trainer if he was okay but the only thing that wasn't okay was his ego. Ash and Cilan had no idea that Trip had that much upper body strength to push them across the room and they didn't want to know why he had a lot of power for someone so young.

"I don't get it," Georgia started, "He was fine a minute ago. Does anyone have a clue what just happened?"

The eerie silence in the room made it apparent that no one knew what just happened. They waited patiently for Nurse Joy or Blair to come out and tell him what happened. Bianca knew that Blair would tell them. She had been friends for him long enough to know that Blair would know what just happened. He was the bookworm to Whitlea's athletic nature.

Blair came out of the room eventually with a grim expression on his face. It wasn't a good thing from Bianca's experience.

"What happened to Trip?" Ash questioned almost immediately looking ready to attack Blair.

"Ash, calm down!" Cilan almost shouted.

Blair gave a hard stare to Ash before debating if he should give out information.

"Nurse Joy is taking care of him but it's not good. What we just witnessed was something of a PTSD."

"PTSD?" Ash wondered.

Most of the group was lost at the term too but Cilan ended up explaining, "It's short for post traumatic stress disorder. It's a condition that makes the person diagnosed with it react in an unpleasant manner. When a life changing event like the death of someone close to them or a near death experience or something equally traumatizing will have the person react like that; an example would be a near drowning experience. The person would do all in their power to avoid any place where there is water and will freak out if they cannot avoid it because they are forced to go to said area."

"That makes sense...I guess..." Stephan stated, "If that's the case though, then what did Trip experience that would make him react like that? It hasn't been that long since we all saw each other."

It had only been a day at best for Ash and if Trip reacted like that, then his uncle must have done something terrible to him. His blood boiled thinking of what that asshole did.

"Nurse Joy is still trying to determine what the hell happened, but I already have a hunch what took place."

"What? What happened?" Bianca had to ask.

Blair's expression darkened as he looked ready to kill someone with that look. The blonde knew that Blair rarely had that expression because he was rarely angry. However, she could tell he was beyond furious at this point, but it only showed in his actions and expression and not with words.

"Trip was..."

The room was quiet when Blair finished his sentence. Blair felt like he shouldn't have finished what he just said but it was too late for that and the reaction was expected. Shocked, horror, anger...these were the expressions that the trainers bared when the word was spoken. The brunette predicted that Bianca would be the first to break down from the news and he felt the need to comfort her, but not at this moment.

"No way…we were right there yesterday…"

Sure enough, the blonde was the first one on her knees sobbing. Blair really wanted to hug her at that moment but he had to be the strongest one emotionally in this room. As a result, Luke was the one that tried to comfort her. No one else moved from there spot though as they let this information sink in.

"B-Blair…stop joking! This is a joke, right?" Iris finally asked her voice very shaky.

No response came from the brunette signifying that he wasn't joking. Knowing that what he said was the truth, tears started to flow from her eyes. Cilan wasn't going to comfort her though because he was still shocked at what he heard. He couldn't believe he missed the signs of something like this happening. If they didn't leave Trip behind, this wouldn't have had happened.

Ash had the hardest time absorbing this information. The promise he made to Trip was instantly shattered. He promised that he would come back for him when everything settled down but if they just convinced him.

"…This is my fault…" He ended up blurting out. "If I just forced him to come along with us then…"

"That wouldn't have had changed anything." Blair told him harshly.

"Why not?!"

"Ash, calm down…" Cilan tried to tell Ash again but it wasn't working.

"I was right there dammit! You can't tell me that if I wasn't there that nothing would change."

"It wouldn't." Blair challenged. "In fact, the situation would probably be worse if you guys were still there."

"What?"

"Ash!" Cilan called out his name again. Ash knew he shouldn't pick a fight with Blair who actually looked ready to snap at someone who rubbed him the wrong way.

"Anyway, I think it's best not to do anything that would freak him out when he wakes up." Blair reminded the group as he turned to Bianca. "Bianca, please don't cry. It's not going to change anything.

"I know but…ah…"

Blair couldn't do anything at all. He could only watch Luke be the one to comfort her in her time of need. He was a terrible friend at the moment but he had to be strong as he looked back at Ash. "Ash, I think you should be the one to see him though when he wakes up…if he wakes up…"

"What?"

"Just saying. I'm going to go get some fresh air."

It sounded like something cruel of him to say but he was obviously stressed because of this. Cilan, Michael and Burgundy acknowledge that and let him through. The others didn't understand why he was being such an asshole at the moment. If only they knew…

Ash didn't wait for anyone to tell him to go see Trip. Ash rushed past the doors. He had to see his friend to make sure he was still okay even though he already knew the answer.

Ash finally found the room Trip was sent to after his breakdown. Nurse Joy was no longer there to do anything for him but judging from the fact that there was only Est and the purple Audino that Est had to take care of in there, chances were that she was done. He slowly made his way into the room when he heard Est mumble something that he wouldn't understand.

"Like mother…like son…you two have too many things in common…even this to realize that you loved someone else…and realized that you would never be with them because of this incident…"

"Audino!"

Est turned around to see Ash and frowned. The raven-haired teen could tell that the little witch was crying.

"…I'm a failure guardian…" She ended up mumbling. "Can't protect his mother…can't protect his aunt…and now I can't protect him…I'm useless…"

"Est…"

Est slowly got up and headed for the door. "I'll be in the waiting room with everyone else…call me if you need me…I doubt it though…Joi, let's go."

"Au!"

The purple Audino and her slowly walked out of the room. Ash sighed as he turned to Trip who was hooked up to some hospital equipment. It was like he was in a life or death situation all of a sudden.

It is sudden. Ash thought to himself as he took the spot where Est was sitting a few moments ago. Yesterday you were smiling and laughing with the rest of us, and now you're like this. Will you wake up again…or am I being too negative?

Trip didn't look peaceful when he was sleeping. He should be though…but maybe the nightmares attack him even in his sleep. Ash hated not being able to do anything but sit there and wait for him to wake up…

That night was coming back to him. He knew he shouldn't have had fainted just like that because he would fall right back into the nightmare.

He was still defenseless in his dream as he was in real life. He didn't have the strength to kick his uncle and his men off of him. The only difference was the dream made it more humiliating than in real life.

The floor, walls and ceiling all had mirrors that glared back down at him. If he opened his eyes, he would witness what was happening to him at that moment. He would witness himself being raped by these men all night and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Come on you brat! You're not done!" Bane shouted at him as he put Trip on his stomach and started pounding him in the ass hard.

"Ahhhhhh! S-Stop it…" He cried out but his voice was cracked at this point. Drowned by the panting of older men that were getting off at a young boy, Trip could only cry in futility.

"Why couldn't you be Maddalen, why?"

That sentence was repeated like an ominous Latin chant. When Trip opened his eyes, he saw his expression in the mirror. It should have been one of pain and agony but the expression that was reflected back at him looked like he was enjoying this type of sexual intercourse.

"You like it don't you?"

"No…"

"You need to be just like her! A slut that can take in all our love inside of them!"

"No…someone…help…"

"You don't want help." A voice spoke up suddenly."You just want to take all of their cum inside of you."

Trip recognized that voice better than anyone. His breathing suddenly became heavy when he glanced at the person that appeared in front of him.

"You…"

The boy just looked at him and grinned sheepishly. "I'm you, and I know you want this more than anything."

"No…I don't…"

At first it seemed like the reflection in the mirror came to life making him the splitting image of Trip. On closer inspection, one could see that his entire body was surrounded in a black aura similar to how Shadow Pokémon were…only his eyes were gold and looked menacing, but like him, he was butt naked.

"You do. You just want to tell them to pound you harder. Heck, if you had your way, you would have done it longer before you collapsed."

"No…I don't…want…ahhh…"

His shadow counterpart just cackled at the pitiful sight. "Why lie to yourself? Your body is doing the talking for you."

"S…t…op…"

He just smirked as his reflection started to touch himself. "I want people to look at me. I don't want people to see me as a replacement for my mother. If they want to have sex with her so be it, but if they want it with me, expect better results."

When he said that, the camera man took notice of the reflection and went over to him. The camera man smirked as he helped his reflection relieve himself but in the process of doing so, tied his arms behind his back. The shadow didn't seem to mind at all and just accepted this bondage situation without a fight. The camera man placed his camera down and positioned the shadow above his cock before slowing lowering his body down. He quickly did a fast pace and his shadow enjoyed every minute of it.

"Stop…I…"

"You're enjoying this sight too~" His shadow said with a laugh as he let out a loud moan. "Just think what would happen if this was Ash that was fucking you instead of these guys~ You would have came a long time ago."

"Don't bring…him…in…ahhhhhhhh…"

The mention of Ash actually had an effect on him to his horror. His uncle was already finished but then continued anyway while his other men had no choice but to pump themselves.

"I can just imagine it~" Despite his hands being tied behind his back, the shadow still decided to be melodramatic without them. "Oh Ash~ Take me now! I don't care if I'm not even old enough to consider having sex but I don't care! I'm a slut just like my mother and I can satisfy you with my body! If you have any chicks from the boonies, just dump them! They got nothing on me….ahhhhhhh~"

"That's…" Trip couldn't really think anymore. His mind was being clouded by the smell in the room. That disgusting yet addicting smell of these men were affecting him badly. He would not admit that he was getting turned on.

"Then again, if your prince charming ever found out, he would drop you just like that. He doesn't like dirty things like us."

"No…"

His shadow frowned when he said that though. "It's such a shame. I really like him but if he thinks we're dirty, then we have no choice but to continue to be one. Not like I mind~ I like big cocks inside me anyway."

"No…no no no no no no no no no no no!"

His shadow had an orgasmic cry when he and the camera man came together. The camera man dropped the reflection like an old sack and picked up his camera again. The reflection easily untied himself and crawled over to his real self.

"Of course, there's always an alternative if you don't want to be his sex slave forever."

Trip thought he wasn't listening anymore. His eyes were dull and his brain wasn't functioning now. Only his hips moved in a steady beat with Bane's thrusts.

"You could always kill yourself. Ahahahahahaha~"

Trip woke up in a hot sweat as he nearly screamed. However, he held it in as he tried to regain his posture. He wasn't safe even when he fell asleep. How ironic that he would be haunted by his bastard uncle whether he was awake in the real world or asleep in the dream world.

He tried to remember what happened though. He remembered dashing over to the drawbridge rest stop to give Ash and Bianca their gym badges before freaking out and black out shortly afterward. He caused a scene in front of everyone…and now they all probably think he's a freak.

He looked outside and noticed that it was already night time. It was raining cats and dogs again…it would make it difficult for him to rush back to the mansion. The young trainer instantly panicked as he tried to get out of bed. However, there was some weight on the bed that prevented him from moving suddenly. It was then did he notice that Ash was sleeping by his side. He and his Pikachu and Eevee were resting on the floor right next to him. Ash put his hat right next to the stand right next to Trip where he noticed that his cellphone was also there. He probably brought it just to make sure he had a clock with him.

Getting back to Ash though, he noticed that the teen was sleeping peacefully despite what happened this afternoon. The dirty blonde couldn't help but smile sadly at him. This boy right here changed him so much in such a small period of time. Maybe it was because he was too similar to Amanda, the girl he looked up to as an older sister before getting brutally murdered. Maybe it was because he was an annoying trainer that wouldn't back out of his life. Maybe it was both of those reasons combined, but one thing was for sure, Trip liked how Ash was so kind to him despite being obnoxious most of the time.

It saddened him that Ash would never be his.

What am I thinking? Trip thought as he glanced away from the sleeping figure. Why would I think that he would like me…heck…do I even know what I'm saying?

It was true. Trip had to ask himself when he started developing feelings for the Kanto trainer. It couldn't possibly be their first encounter. No…Trip thought he was an annoying hillbilly that needed to get the fuck away from him. Second encounter was no different…still a loser even if he had more experience under his belt. His third meeting made him question why Ash was so reckless. He still couldn't figure out why he would take an attack from his Lampent and still be able to walk around claiming that the Venipede were kind creatures. Fourth appearance…maybe he told himself that he needed to open up to him if he was going to be this persistent…and then at the Don George tournament…he couldn't bare look at him in the eye when he lost. Even though he got second place, he knew he just sealed his fate with his mother who was in the crowd watching him battle. She would consider him a failure and any chance of making up was gone…but it just pissed him off that this idiot could do something like that.

Trip was still trying to go back to any other time that might have made his heart beat. Ash and his friends staying at the mansion could have been when things really started to hit off. He learned a little bit more on why Ash was a fucking idiot at times and he learned that Ash was a very trusting person…if he found out that Trip murdered those people out of pure spite and became a sex slave to his uncle…Ash wouldn't forgive him…

He would probably label me as trash. Trip convinced himself as he noticed that his phone was vibrating. That's all I am though…no one would…

The gray eyed trainer slowly reached for his phone…and felt his heart stop.

His uncle called him…and he had four missed calls…and the text message was just recent. Trip slowly read the text message and felt the urge to throw up again.

He knows I'm not there…he'll kill my Pokémon if I don't get back now.

Trip felt his vision blur and his heart started pounding until the point that it hurt. Why now did he have to message him about his Pokémon? Why did he have to make things more difficult? Why couldn't he even have a minute of peace before he went insane? Why…

What his reflection in his dream told him...should he…do it…?

"You should just kill yourself…"

…I'll do it…I can't take this anymore…no one would miss me anyway if I died…

"Ash, wake up now! Ash!"

The Kanto trainer was suddenly rudely awaken by Iris who was freaking out.

"I-Iris, what is it?"

"Trip is gone!"

"…WHAT?"

He looked at the bed and Trip was gone. He went out through the window apparently being able to pass by everyone in the Pokémon Center when he woke up.

"We got to find him!" Ash shouted, as he was wide-awake now. Where could Trip have gone in this weather and in that condition? He couldn't be rushing back to the mansion would he?

Apparently, the rest of the group was aware that Trip was missing too and all split up to try and find him before the rain poured down harder. Iris and Georgia went one way, Cilan and Burgundy another, Stephan and Luke went a third way, Bianca and Est went a fourth way, Blair and Michael a fifth way and Ash, Pikachu and Eevee was to check the area where the drawbridge was. This town was small and with this many people, so they would surely find him.

However, it was not going to be easy. The rain started pouring harder to the point that it was impossible to see things in front of you. Ash and the group didn't have any raincoats but luckily the Pokémon Center would allow them to take their umbrellas for this occasion.

"TRIP!" Ash called out. "WHERE ARE YOU?"

"PIKA!"

"EEVEE!"

"TRIP!"

Ash continued forward despite Mother Nature being against him. He had to find Trip no matter what…he feared that Trip would do something stupid in this weather…

"TRIP!"

He made it to the bridge and noticed that it was at its highest. It was easy to scale the drawbridge but he wondered why no one was around. He noticed a figure at the very top when the bridge was raised. His eyes widened in horror.

"TRIP!"

The photographer didn't hear him and that's what scared Ash. In this rainstorm, Trip wouldn't be able to hear anything unless he was closer. Ash noticed that Trip was leaning on the railing despite the bridge being raised. He wasn't planning too…

"Shit, shit, shit! Pikachu, Eevee, get Cilan or anyone nearby now!"

Ash's mind was shutting down fast. Pikachu saw his trainer panic but he had no choice to obey. He took Eevee and searched for someone close to help. Ash literally rushed toward the drawbridge desperately calling Trip's name hoping he would hear him and turn his way.

The dirty blonde didn't hear him in the end. Ash's eyes widened in horror as he leaned over the bridge and jumped.

"TRIP!"

Without thinking, Ash followed after him. The height between the drawbridge and the water was very high. Trip wouldn't make it if he hit head first…which was what he was going for. Ash reached his hands out toward him. Ash didn't look like he would make it though.

Come on! Let me catch him Arceus, please!

Ash was lucky that he managed to grab his hand at the very least. Too bad he couldn't do anything but that though as they both plunge down, Ash tried to snap Trip out of his trance.

"Come on Trip! You got to snap out of it, Trip!"

"…Ash…?"

When it looked like they were both going to have their skull cracked open…

"Echo, telekinesis!"

Ash and Trip's body both suddenly floated in midair without hitting the ocean. When Ash looked up, Ash noticed that Blair was there with a psychic Pokémon known as Gothitelle whose eyes were glowing a blue color as she tried to lift them both up. However, the rain made it difficult to do that which was why Blair threw a rope over the drawbridge.

"GRAB IT!" He screamed at the top of his lungs so he could be heard over the storm.

Ash managed to reach for the rope with his free hand. Blair couldn't pull the rope alone and his Gothitelle was tired after that. Michael tried helping him but two people weren't enough. Luckily as they started pulling, the other trainers found Blair and Michael and all eventually started pulling the rope in the storm.

As they were being pulled up Trip was slowly coming back to reality. His eyes widened in horror when he realized that he wasn't dead.

"Trip, you okay?"

"…Why…"

"Huh?"

"Why…am I alive?"

"Why did you save me?"

Trip's sudden outburst made the rope swing widely causing the group pulling to almost fall over (actually, it was only Burgundy that almost fell over the railing but Cilan wasn't going to let her fall.) Ash was caught off guard and almost let go of his hand. Instead he used this opportunity to pull Trip closer to his body.

"What are you talking about? I saved you because you were going to kill yourself!"

"…I wanted to die though…"

"What…?"

"I wanted to die dammit! I can't take it anymore! I don't want to deal with him anymore! I don't want him to do what he wants to me! I can't Ash! I can't!"

"Trip calm down!"

Trip started to break down hysterically. Ash didn't know what to do in this position except bring him closer with the one hand that had control of whether or not the younger trainer would die or not.

"Trip…"

"Ash…please let me die…I don't want to see the consequences of disobeying him…please! Just let me go!"

"No."

"…?"

"I won't let you go…and I don't think I will ever again."

The meaning of what the Kanto trainer declared was very vague. It could have meant anything but to a normal person, he just confessed his love for the young photographer. Trip didn't care anymore. He just wanted the pain to go away.

Blair and the group managed to pull them back onto safe ground. Cilan looked like he was ready to demand answers from Trip but upon seeing the gray-eyed trainer cry again, he said nothing. With the other hand no longer holding the rope, Ash embraced the younger trainer as he let out a hoarse cry. They would remain in that position for a while until Trip fell unconscious in which the group would take him back to the Pokémon Trainer and talk about his suicide attempt.

However while Ash's mind was taking care of Trip, he was unaware that the people close to him were at their breaking point…

Me: TBC with 6975 words.

Li: How depressing…and you added more sex scenes.

Me: It's only a nightmare sequence but you get my point. This chapter took longer than expected because I was trying to prevent Blair from saying outright that Trip was raped because, again, if this was an anime, they would censor that word but the camera would probably zoom in on his lips mouthing the word and then showing everyone's reaction. Notes!

1. Trip's nightmare sequence is disturbing but there is a meaning behind it. If anyone has played Persona 4, you would know that every person has a Shadow behind the Midnight Channel that they say things that the person is feeling but exaggerate what they feel. An obvious example from the game is Chie. Her Shadow says she's jealous of her best friend Yukiko and needs to be around her to feel like she exists and to control Yukiko. In reality, Chie was envious of Yukiko because she got all the guys but she's willing to put up with that because it's Yukiko and swears to protect her at all cost. So technically, Trip's "shadow" in his nightmare is exaggerating the whole "I love sex" thing and is more like "I want people to notice who I am instead of comparing me to my mother." Also, the shadow is technically implying that Trip is in love with Ash and the idea of Ash liking someone else would piss him off even if Ash were shown to be oblivious to the affection of other girls like Misty and Anabel. Finally, "You should just kill yourself" is basically Trip giving up all hope on everything in life.
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