Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

As the Smoke Clears #4 in Rivalry Series	By : kurahieiritrJIO Category: +G to L > Initial D Views: 2672 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Initial D, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-As the Smoke Clears
- 2-Smoke 2
- 3-Smoke 3
- 4-Smoke 4
- 5-Smoke 5
- 6-Smoke 6
- 7-Smoke 7
- 8-Smoke 8
- 9-Smoke 9
- 10-Smoke 10
- 11-Smoke 11
- 12-Smoke 12
- 13-Smoke 13
- 14-Smoke 14
- 15-Some 15
- 16-Smoke 16
- 17-Chapter 17
- 18-Smoke 18
- 19-Smoke 19
- 20-Smoke 20
- 21-Smoke 21
- 22-Smoke 22
- 23-Smoke 23
- 24-Smoke 24
- 25-Smoke 25
- 26-Smoke 26
- 27-Smoke 27
- 28-Smoke 28
- 29-Smoke 29
- 30-Smoke 30
- 31-Smoke 31
- 32-Smoke 32
- 33-Smoke 33
- 34-Smoke 34
- 35-Smoke 35
- 36-Smoke 36
- 37-Smoke 37
- 38-Smoke 38
- 39-Smoke 39
- 40-Smoke 40
- 13
- 14
- 15
CHAPTER 14

Takumi was worried over Itsuke's fear of Keisuke's testy mood. Having heard Sadami talking about Itsuke's true feelings only exacerbated his crushing guilt over loving two men simultaneously. Sitting in his wheel chair he noticed that Itsuke remained glued to the waiting room chair Keisuke made him sit in. Memories of Mogi's betrayal reminded Takumi how painful it was to love someone unattainable. How long had Itsuke suffered because he had been equally unattainable for so long?

Keisuke's agitation added fuel to Takumi's nightmarish turmoil and dismay. Ongoing arguments with himself about how to salvage both relationships were driving Takumi insane. Physical aches and pains from the newest drug withdrawal phase irritated him. Shame over cheating on Keisuke by giving Itsuke head and enjoying it surfaced with a vengeance each time he recalled the episode, or looked at either man.

Pacing as they waited for Leamas to return for his session, Keisuke spoke softly. "I'm not angry with either one of you over your captivity, my own. How can I help you both if you won't trust me by telling me about that Sadami jerk?"

Takumi cringed internally as he focused on his beloved's face. Keisuke was harrying him and Itsuke for answers. Although Keisuke knew about the sexual testing, he was unaware of the drastic changes in their lifelong relationship because of an unexpected if unrequited love. Takumi felt that accepting Keisuke as his lover was obscenely cruel to Itsuke. A glance at his life long friend showed him a very worried and withdrawn face.

"I've already told you that place really screwed with Itsuke's head. He warned me about the next stage of my withdrawal which starts with the low grade fever I've had since this morning. He said that he managed to find out some things to help me get through it, and he'd help if we needed him. Naze keep asking the same damned question, Lover?"

Takumi watched his frowning life-mate closely. Knowing of their unspeakable emotions both had denied, or had ignored, was not something he wanted Keisuke to discover. Knowing Keisuke's wildly jealous nature, he was not about to give his temperamental mate any cause to turn on Itsuke. After everything Itsuke had endured trying to save him, Takumi felt he owed Itsuke protection.

Keisuke glared at him. "Because you both look so damned guilty right now. Tell me about the problem here so I can help you both. I know everything that happened in the test that you did together. I saw the tape recently, damn it! Naze do you think I'll get angry with you and Takeuchi over anything you did to survive until I could find you. I owe Takeuchi a huge debt for keeping you alive, Takumi. I've got Senda working to get a full gag order on Itsuke's records to protect him too. I'll find out everything eventually. So you might as well tell me everything you know about Sadami's accusations."

"You can't think Tak cheated on you whenever he obeyed the overseer's orders, Keisuke san. You know everything he's remembered so far. If not for my getting tortured, Tak never would have caved to anything they ordered him to do. I got used against Tak because he tried to protect me."

Living without Keisuke had been hell when Takumi was locked away. Although he loved Keisuke, Takumi knew he had been unfaithful and unfair to both men that were devoted to him. Not wanting to, he had cheated on his acknowledged mate with his best friend. Knowing the extent of his betrayals was the hardest part for Takumi to swallow. How could he not be hurt by how deep Itsuke's emotions ran? How long could he hide his dismay at getting caught within such a sickening trap that was of his own making?

"How about telling me everything you both actually said? That's a very good place to start. You need to get it off your chest, my own. You didn't eat any breakfast again this morning, and barely touched your lunch or dinner yesterday. I know that conversation hurt you because of how you're acting, Takumi."

Clenching the wheel chair arm, Takumi snapped, "Of course I'm hurt by our talk, Keisuke. Itsuke's decided that he did unforgivable things to me that he can't make up for because of the compound. He got mixed up in some hair brained scheme to try and save us both which is where he met Sadami. I'm not going to repeat anything Itsuke explained after that bastard Sadami got in my face the last time I saw him. It would be wrong to break his trust, Keisuke. Itsuke has the right to take enough time to sort out the mess in his own head. He was adamant that I need to concentrate on getting your musuko over Kahori's mind fucks."

"Hm. Naze are you adamant that Takumi's the one to help Hikaru? He isn't exactly comfortable with my musuko." Keisuke pointed out as he stopped before Itsuke.

"Because Tak's been through hell. He pulled himself out of a horrible life, Keisuke san."

"My only problem with Hikaru is seeing how much he acts like I used to. It really worries me. Itsuke's noticed the same exact thing so he's determined that I need to help your musuko get through all the changes in his life."

"How does Hikaru act like you?" Keisuke's head tilted toward him.

Rubbing his neck, Takumi asked, "Remember when I told you that okāsan left when Oyaji was on his business trip to start the tofu shop?"

"Hai. You said Oyaji san came home to find you wedged between the refrigerator and the cabinet. You said the lights were off and you started panicking because you couldn't see anything so you hid in the cubby hole you found."

"I left out a lot, Keisuke."

"Nani could you possibly omit that's relevant to helping Hikaru, my own?"

"When his Okāsan left, Oyaji san was supposed to be gone for four days. The only window in the old apartment was in the kitchen. It was small, but Tak could kind of see, . . . at least during the day. He was too small to reach any of the light switches, or unlock the door. Trying to get the refrigerator door open to get something to eat was a waste of time. Moving a chair to the sink to get water was impossible because the chairs were too big and heavy for Tak to move. Tak told me about how he managed to get the cupboard door open and found a can of soup near the bottom that he couldn't get open."

"Naze didn't you call someone to come and get you?" Keisuke sounded uneasy as he interrupted Itsuke's lifeless toned story.

"The apartment was so dark I couldn't have found the phone even if I had known how to use it. Plus, I bounced off furniture if I left the kitchen. Every little sound started scaring the crap out of me. Like I told you before, I couldn't tell where the noises came from. After the sun went down, everything was pitch black. I couldn't see my hand waving in front of my own face, Keisuke." Takumi felt sick as antiquated memories crowded his conscience.

A gentle hand cupped his face. Startled, Takumi realized his eyes had closed. He blew out an explosive breath and looked into Keisuke's dark blue eyes. ". . . Anyway, I had nothing to eat, or drink for the four days Oyaji was gone. I got so hungry and thirsty that my stomach hurt until I could barely breathe. At some point, I wedged myself between the cupboard and the refrigerator trying to find a safe place to hide from the sounds. It was the most secure feeling spot in the house, so I got into it hoping the noises couldn't get me. I passed out in that tiny space with an unopened can of soup in my hands. That's how Oyaji found me when he got home."

"How could, . . . That's just, . . . How the hell did, . . . Kami-sama, that's just, . . ." Inarticulate spluttering gave eloquent voice to Keisuke's feelings. Lifting his eyes, Takumi did not evade Keisuke's horrified gaze. Paper sheet white, Keisuke's face screamed his appalled state of mind.

Cutting Keisuke off, Takumi explained. "Whenever I see Hikaru, I wonder how he fought his fear every time he's been in the same situation. How did he handle the unexplained noises when he was locked in a pitch black place? Where was Hikaru's safe corner, or little hole to stay alive when the noises he couldn't explain away got too scary? How long before he gave up and stopped crying and screaming because nobody answered? Every time I see Hikaru I wonder how often he was so hungry and thirsty that every breath hurt like hell, Lover! That's the reason Itsuke wants me to focus on helping him."

"Kami-sama, here I thought you were pissed at me for pushing you into signing onto my bank account to care for Hikaru if I go to prison. Now I'm hearing that it's the least of your discomfort. Hikaru's reminding you of something so cruel, . . . it's mind boggling. I can't even comprehend something like that happening, my own."

"Unlike Itsuke, you didn't know. I think the compound taught Itsuke how I always felt when we were little. If anyone can help Hikaru get well by understanding that kind of fear, he knows I can. Books can't teach half as well as actively surviving hard experiences."

"Don't let Hikaru's psychiatrist hear you say that. Suzuki isha san didn't spend years in college getting a degree just to hear that she's a baka, my own."

Takumi smiled tightly at Keisuke's attempt at levity. Itsuke spoke up as their eyes locked. "Look on the bright side. Hikaru will never be a picky eater. Tak never forgot how much it hurt being so hungry."

"Hai. I'm still grateful for every meal on some level. When I started working in middle school, and made my own money, I stopped being as obsessed with eating every crumb on my plate. At least I can help Hikaru get through that part."

"Suzuki isha san says Hikaru's made several breakthroughs. I've been trying to get him to talk about things he likes, but he won't say anything specific. It's always "I like everything," with Hikaru. That gets frustrating." Takumi noticed that he was including Itsuke in his comment as if seeking ideas.

"Start him off with very small choices, Keisuke. Give him an easy choice between, let's say a spring roll, and three won-tons. Once Hikaru decides, make sure he gets his food immediately. That way he'll learn that he can trust us. He'll learn that we won't take everything away for our own amusement. Believe me, Kahori was like that."

"Just found another reason I love you so much, dear heart."

"Eh?"

"You've been putting yourself in Hikaru's place all along. You're trying to find ways to help him based on your own experiences. When you love someone, nothing keeps you from loving them too much, does it?"

His lover's long fingers slipped through Takumi's overgrown mane. Seeing the sudden flash of pain on Itsuke's face, Takumi could only shake his head mutely. "Kami-sama gave me one hell of a gift when I found you. Hikaru's going to discover that he's as lucky as I am, my own."

"Don't say things like that. From everything Itsuke learned in the compound, it seems I've got more hell to go through, Keisuke. After everything that's happened, all I do is drag you down. There's nothing lucky about me."

"Nothing that happened in Kahori's prison counts. Remember? Even Takeuchi understands that rape and torture doesn't count. Tell him, Takeuchi. Maybe he'll listen to you since he keeps being stubborn with me."

Takumi wrung his hands together. Omission was almost as hard as telling outright lies for him. He knew he had to be wary of divulging the truth about Itsuke's own voluntarily accepted rapes to save their lives which had backfired on him. That did not make his doubt, or self loathing any easier to bear when Keisuke spoke with such conviction. His world came down to two men, and Takumi found it impossible to reconcile the long standing foundations he had known, with the changes happening.

"Nani can I say to Tak if you can't make him listen? Tak's stubborn as we both know. Unless he decides to stop beating himself up, neither one of us can make him stop."

"You're probably right, Takeuchi. So tell me about the next withdrawal phase Takumi's starting."

"It has a nickname. The slaves called it the insatiable phase. Anyone that goes through it becomes a sex fanatic. It's not like the leeches because those cause uncontrollable hard ons. The insatiable phase is a little different because getting off feels different is how it was explained to me."

"Different? How so?"

"Chiasa and Sadami just said that sex feels off so anyone having that form of withdrawal tries to make their body feel normal again. It sounded like the drug has a numbing effect or something like that. I remember Chiasa saying that there's a tightness that the slaves withdrawing from the drug complained about sometimes. They are desperate to get rid of the tightness and blue balls as she put it."

"Considering how leeches feel, I'm kind of scared of that, Itsuke." Seelking to deflect Keisuke, Takumi changed the subject. "When we were in grade school, I used to get so mad because you had Benika san. How come you never held that against me?"

"Because I visited your home a few times. After meeting Oyaji san, I felt I should offer to share my family with you because Oyaji san was such a cold blooded man. I knew Okāsan wouldn't mind having a second musuko."

Looking up at Keisuke, Takumi explained. "How could I keep resenting Itsuke when he was so excited about sharing Benika san with me? She never minded me being at her home either. I was constantly with Itsuke when we were little. I ate there most evenings before going home. When I started finding odd jobs that made money so I could get my own food, I spent less time with Itsuke's family."

"I'm sure Benika san must love you as much as Itsuke kun. Perhaps the Takeuchi family has always been your real family, but you haven't acknowledged it, my own." Keisuke responded.

"I always knew his ryōshin were there for me whenever I needed them, Keisuke. Knowing Itsuke got so badly hurt because of me is unforgivable. To be honest, Itsuke will always be a huge part of my life. It hurts that he won't let me help him deal with everything that happened in the compound. He told me he got desperate to save me from the drugs, but I'm not allowed to do anything for him."

"You did something really stupid to try and save Takumi, didn't you?" Keisuke demanded softly as he swivelled his head to pin Itsuke.

"Hai, so It's hard not to feel ashamed, Keisuke san. But, I did try to get Tak off the drugs. Sadami and Chiasa offered to help me get something done. Kahori drugged Tak almost to death before we could get Kahori to leave him alone."

Takumi frowned at his spouse, determined to deflect his questions. "You, and Itsuke are the two halves of my whole world. Each of you have filled very specific parts of my life that I didn't understand were empty until Itsuke, and then you filled them. Probably sounds crazy, doesn't it?"

Turning back to look at him with a startled expression. Keisuke shook his head. "There's nothing wrong with how you describe us, Takumi. It's actually ingenious I think. By using the image of a world, you put things into perspective. Takeuchi is your main family support. When I entered the picture, I filled the remaining empty places and roles he can't."

"Yeah, well, that ingenious image makes me feel like I've screwed everything up. Itsuke was desperate enough that he let Sadami, Chiasa and Okiku really screw with him on the slim chance that they could get me away from Tung Tzu. Knowing Itsuke, he's going to keep avoiding me until he gets over everything that he did trying to keep us both alive. They told Itsuke that Kahori had put a kill order on him because I fought so hard against doing anything sexual with other men. He wasn't useful enough to keep alive because I couldn't put his welfare first, Keisuke. I've lost half of my reason for existing until he can get through this. Sadami threw that part of Itsuke's situation in my face when I went upstairs to meet Leamas sama the first time. Ignorance isn't an excuse. A complete stranger did more to help Itsuke than I did while we were prisoners."

"Look, I understand that you're too important to Takumi for me to ignore that you're hurting over things he suffered. I've seen the videos from the cell, Takeuchi. Everything that happened, including your getting removed from the cell after Takumi got raped and tormented was shown in the evidence review. Watching those videos was the hardest thing I've ever done. You couldn't get up and leave the way I was able to whenever I got overwhelmed. That's the reason I want to help you get past this too."

Takumi watched as Itsuke shook his head vigorously. "That won't settle anything. Finding out several things about myself has made it harder to get over. There's nothing you or Tak can do to help me. I'll get through everything in time. Just leave it alone, Keisuke san. This isn't something I want to talk about with anybody yet."

"There's more to these realizations of yours than incompetence and immaturity, isn't there?" Steel entered Keisuke's voice as he asked his question.

"Itsuke told me that he can't pretend things are normal ever again. I know he's right, but it doesn't help me to accept that things are changing so drastically. Maybe Kahori messed up our heads in ways neither of us gets yet, Keisuke."

"Things are way too complicated right now to explain any of it, Keisuke san."

Takumi turned his head to meet Keisuke's piercing dark blue gaze. In an instant, Keisuke's determination seemed to reach out and trap him. "Hai. Everything Itsuke did out of desperation makes things harder for him to accept since you rescued us, Keisuke. He said he can't be around us because he has to get his act together first. But, I'm afraid this mess will turn into his leaving and never coming back because of how badly I let him down."

"You didn't let me down, Tak. Stop it already. Like I told you, I need space to get through this. You can't save me this time. It's not your place to do anything about the problems I have."

"Are you in love with Takumi or something?" Keisuke continued to pin them both with a fierce stare. Takumi felt his stomach plunge into his toes. "Shit. Your expression says it all, Takumi."

With a heavy sigh, Keisuke broke eye contact and ran a hand across his face. With the lithe grace of a born predator Keisuke stood and stalked across the floor. Hopeless to deflect Keisuke's anger from Itsuke, Takumi began grasping at things that strengthened the idea Itsuke was not a threat to his jealous mate.

"It's not like you're thinking. Itsuke's not even sure of his feelings toward me right now. He kept saying how much we belong together, and that he wants us to be happy again. He was pushing me for a promise to make sure we get through this as a couple. Naze would he be so insistent on a promise like that if he's in love with me the same way you are?"

Takumi watched him pace as Keisuke considered his words with his hands braced on his hips. "Fuck! Do you have any idea of how idiotically lame that sounds coming from your mouth? Of course Takeuchi wants you to promise him that you're going to be happy, Takumi. When you honestly love someone, their happiness means everything to you. I'd do anything to insure you were safe if I was in his place. Nothing would deter me, even if I had to go through horrific rapes, or whatever else those slavers wanted from me to insure you survived. There's not a chance in hell that Itsuke would do any less to try and save you. That's an obvious choice he would make in that place, Takumi!"

The hard flinches from Itsuke as Keisuke spoke that he caught from the corner of his eye made it painfully obvious that Itsuke agreed. Speechless, Takumi could only stare at his pacing spouse as the truth of Keisuke's words slammed through him.

"Tak belongs with you, Keisuke san. It's not like I want this. Trying to wrap my head around everything has made everything confusing for me. In the compound everything got all messed up. Somehow Tak stopped being like an onīsan and I don't understand how it happened. But that doesn't mean I'm going to do anything stupid." Itsuke snapped at the pacing man.

Keisuke's hand came up and swept across his freshly cropped hair and down the back of his neck. "Unbelievable! Teasing you about your mouth being addictive enough to make anyone fall in love is returning to bite me in the ass! Who the hell would have guessed a completely homophobic guy like Takeuchi was going to be the one to prove me right?!"

"The mess in Itsuke's head is my fault, Keisuke! You don't have to rub it in! Because of me, Itsuke's gotten hurt far worse than I ever imagined. Obviously your thoughts about how blow jobs release pain killing chemicals worked way to damned well, Keisuke! Giving him a blow job made a huge mess of Itsuke's mind!" Takumi snarled back.

Stopping in his tracks, Keisuke stared at him as if seeing him for the first time. "How the hell can you beat yourself up over Takeuchi being in love with you? There's not a chance in hell that this is anyone's fault! Don't think I blame him for being in love with you either, because I'm not a hypocrite, Takumi."

"Oh really? You just said I have an addictive mouth, so don't you dare tell me I'm being a baka for considering the possibility that this is some short lived fixation that'll fade! Itsuke obviously doesn't want anything to do with it!"

"I was being sarcastic, Takumi. Although you do have one hell of a talented mouth that has blown my mind way too often for me to blame Takeuchi for going haywire over getting a blow-job from you. Doesn't take a genius to know that as much as you care about him, you would've had your emotions involved with getting him off. It's your emotions that make everything you do so damned incredible, my own."

Takumi could not stop flinching over Keisuke's alarmingly accurate verdict. He felt stripped bare to his soul. Having his own unconscious motives lain out made him feel even guiltier about his complicated emotional ties to both men.

"Don't fight. Look, Keisuke san, I don't want to come between you two. This is my problem. Tak knows me well enough to figure out this was going on. I didn't mean for him to ever feel like he might get caught between us in any way. That's the reason I'm going to stay away from you both until I can fix myself."

Takumi stood and grabbed Keisuke's arm. "At least consider the possibility that this is some kind of crush before you blow a fuse, Keisuke. Itsuke was in agony from losing his finger, and getting the stump burned to a crisp. Add being scared witless and knowing I was protecting him to the list. Itsuke was in too much agony to cope with being forced into the position of being a test partner! Can you honestly tell me I'm absolutely wrong about the possibility that he's got some short term crush on me?"

"How do you propose to deal with things if he's in love with you, and trying to put you first? Seems to me that you can't handle knowing Takeuchi did something to try and reverse roles and protect you for once. Can you, my own?"

"If I knew how to deal with Itsuke's pain, I wouldn't be feeling like the world's most unforgivable monster right now! I didn't just hurt Itsuke, I devastated his trust and tainted a life long connection that he cherished of me as his family too, Keisuke! You haven't got a clue about all the extremes we both survived in that place even if you did see some video footage! Now you're pissed off at Itsuke because of his emotions getting twisted into a weird tangle from all the insane and terrifying shit that happened to us both! Earlier you swore you wouldn't get mad with either one of us over whatever happened. Just leave Itsuke out of it. He's miserable enough without your jealousy making things more difficult."

Keisuke took several deep breaths in a row. Unable to blame Keisuke for being angry, Takumi wondered how the blond would respond once he got his anger under control. His eyes had closed as Keisuke wrestled with violent emotions.

After several moments of silence, the blond spoke slowly. "I'm not mad at Takeuchi, or even surprised about him loving you. The thing that I'm so fucking pissed about is your attempt to deny, and downplay his feelings, Takumi. That's not fair to him, me, or even yourself. When are you going to figure out that I'm aware of how hellish this has been for both of you? How can you think I'd turn on Takeuchi after everything he's done to save your life?"

Takumi watched as Keisuke's eyes opened and focused on him. Squirming, he found his gaze faltering. Looking down at his flexing fists, Takumi could barely speak past the lump in his throat. "Choosing between you comes next. And I can't make myself do it, . . . even though Itsuke insists on walking away from me. Sooner or later, . . . half of my world's already gone! How long until I lose you too? Tell me, when do I lose the rest of my reason for existence because of that fucking place, Keisuke?! This sick trap we got sucked into has nothing to do with you, but, you have every right to get pissed at me! Still, . . . I'm begging you to leave Itsuke alone! You don't know the things he did in there, and I don't even know half of it. All I know is that I'm losing my mind and everything, . . . everyone that I've always counted on lately."

"That's not the way I want it to be, Tak."

"Takumi, . . ." Keisuke sounded shocked.

"Don't give me that! I don't expect either one of you to understand, and I'm not asking you to try! . . . The compound made sure there's nothing left to salvage! That's how I honestly feel right now!" He growled as his eyes shifted restlessly between both men.

Rubbing a hand over his eyes, Keisuke's breath hissed between clenched teeth. "This has everything to do with the three of us working this out together, Takumi. Whether Itsuke's having some kind of mental breakdown from getting a blow job from you when he was in horrific pain, or he has always loved you isn't the issue here. You shutting down while your grieving over thinking you're going to lose us both, that is!"

"How am I supposed to cope with this nightmare, Keisuke? I'm losing the two people that mean everything to me, and I can't find a way to keep that from happening! Both of you have very special places in my life! I love both of you differently! Itsuke can't possibly take your place. You'll never fill his place in my life either. This is a situation that I can't find any working solutions for to fix the problem!"

"Tak, I know you love me differently from Keisuke san which is how it's supposed to be. You're not thinking this through. Kahori used me as a weapon against you in the compound. That hurt the most. You've always been there for me and I know it. But, I can't let that happen ever again because you're important to me too. All I do is cause you extra worry. It's always been that way."

"Matte. Let's put our heads together and come up with something that can work, Takeuchi. Don't you dare try to shut me out, Takumi! I won't let either one of you get by with isolating yourselves! I'll do anything I can for you both except let you suffer alone. Don't ask me to keep failing you both like I did for those three weeks you and Itsuke were getting tortured and raped!" Keisuke shot back with real venom in his tone.

Looking at his spouse, Takumi was startled by the determination glowing in Keisuke's eyes. "Can you honestly say you can keep from getting jealous of Itsuke because of his jumbled emotions? That's too much to ask, and I know it! Can you honestly accept and understand he's not a threat to you even though he's as important to me as you are, Keisuke? I'm not handling that realization very well. So how the hell can I ask you to accept it when I'm miserable because of learning how things are?"

Looming over him, Keisuke's nose was almost touching his as their eyes clashed. Dark blue orbs pierced his soul as Keisuke spoke with a bitter edge. "I've always known that you're very attached to Itsuke. When have I ever been jealous of him? Give me one example of my being possessive of you with him."

"That was before the compound, Lover. He's a complete mess. He's even been put on some kind of medication to keep him from doing something crazy to himself."

"Itsuke's the only person that can say he knows you better than I do even though you're my husband in my eyes. He's always been your adopted, doted on, spoiled rotten, and indulged bratty otouto. There's nothing you aren't willing to do for him. He's your biggest fan and encourages your interest in driving every chance he gets. I've always admired Itsuke's ability to give you the confidence you need to step up to challenges." Feeling uneasy as he stared into Keisuke's eyes, Takumi wished he knew how to proceed.

"That was before we were kidnaped, Keisuke san. Everything's changed. How can either one of us forgive ourselves knowing that things happened that changed everything between us, and hurts you too?" Itsuke asked in a subdued voice. His words tore their locked gazes apart to focus on him.

"Only a complete moron would believe that one of you wasn't sexually abused after seeing that footage. To be blunt, the review panel scheduled a second day to deal with videos featuring you both, but I couldn't handle finishing out the first day. I wished that you were the only one Takumi was with during their damned whore training as I watched the security camera recordings. Instead, you were chained to the cell bars, beaten repeatedly, and forced to watch while Takumi got raped, degraded, and forced to give blow jobs to complete strangers trying protect you."

Takumi jerked away from Keisuke, dull throbbing horror settling into the pit of his belly. He dropped into his wheel chair and curled his knees up beneath his cheek as he fought the anguish rising to lock his throat. Looking at Keisuke was impossible.

Relentlessly Keisuke continued. "The only video that didn't damned near make me puke was the one where you taught Itsuke how to kiss, and sucked him off. You haven't got any idea of how powerful that video is. After seeing it, I know there's nothing that can split you two for long, Takumi. The bond you have is too deep for me to ever believe otherwise. I watched as you grabbed Itsuke's damaged wrist and made sure he didn't get injured any worse even though you wound up beneath his much heavier frame because you could barely stand. The thing that stood out most for me was the way he stared at your fingers wrapped around his wrist once he recovered some of his wits, Takumi. That drove home for me that nothing will ever destroy the bond you two have. You give everything you are to the people who matter to you. Itsuke was the only one that ever made your life bearable while you were growing up. Realizing all of that, it hurt like hell watching Kahori mind fucking you both! How can either one of you believe that I'm capable of hating Itsuke kun after watching that?"

Lifting his head, Takumi had to blink tears from his eyes to see Keisuke clearly. "Loving two people so much means that I've hurt you both. I never knew I was such a selfish person until everything blew up. Because of being so close to Itsuke all of my life, I cheated on you before I knew I was, Keisuke. Itsuke's terrified that you'll kill him because he knows it happened too. He doesn't blame you either."

Keisuke sank into the only free chair. Itsuke forced himself to look at Keisuke even though Takumi knew it cost him a great deal to speak. "We both screwed up before we knew it could happen, Keisuke san. That's the one thing I can't bear about the compound. You didn't deserve this because you're the best person to ever enter Tak's life. You have to understand that Tak didn't know it would happen either."

-oo0oo-
- 13
- 14
- 15
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

As the Smoke Clears #4 in Rivalry Series