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Balance	By : sailormac Category: +G to L > Hikaru no Go Views: 10858 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hikaru no Go, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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BALANCE
A Hikaru no Go Sekkushiaru Roman Series
By Sailor Mac

PART FIVE: EMOTIONAL (2/4)

The patterns on the goban in front of him, Hikaru decided, were just plain *lazy*.

It was obvious that both of them were playing without much enthusiasm tonight. They seemed to be engaged in a playful waltz around the board, instead of a brutal battle for territory.

“Maybe we should take a break,” he said.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Akira said, stretching a bit. “I’m going to get a can of tea.”

“I’ll get it for you,” Hikaru said, getting up and heading to the kitchen.

Even when they weren’t in top form, those games were still one of the best things about living together. They were all alone, without an audience to make a fuss if they got into a fight (which was almost always inevitable). They had no place to be, so they could take all the time in the world if they wanted.

And then, there was the very, very appealing concept of making love right after playing Go, which had happened more than a few times. There was something incredibly arousing about having your passions for the game stoked to the utmost, immediately followed by having your passion for your lover burst into flame.

Hikaru was thinking about this as he returned to the Go room, cans in hand, and saw Akira lying stretched out on the floor next to the board. His pose was innocent, yet alluring, lying on his stomach with his head resting on his folded arms.

*He has no idea at all how beautiful he is,” Hikaru thought, *or how nuts he can make me sometimes.*

The sight of him was churning around in his brain, combining with the thoughts he’d had before about Go and sex, and suddenly, an idea came to him.

He knelt next to Akira and put a hand on his back. “Let’s move the game to the portable goban,” he said, “and take it into the bedroom.”

Akira raised his head and looked at him quizzically. “Why do you want to go in there?”

Hikaru leaned over, so close their foreheads were almost touching. “Haven’t you ever fantasized about playing naked . . . in bed . . . with me?”

Akira drew in a sharp breath, and he felt his cheeks flush. Could Shindou read his mind? He’d had that fantasy, all right, many times, ever since they began their relationship. With a deeper blush, he realized he’d had it even *before* they’d begun their relationship -- he’d just been reluctant to admit it to himself.

“And,” Hikaru said, working a hand up under Akira’s sweater, “winner gets to be seme afterward.”

Akira blinked a couple of times, and then his hands came up to Hikaru’s shirt, starting to yank it upward. “You’d better get used to the idea of me on top of you, then,” he said.

Hikaru yanked the shirt off and tossed it away. “I like the sound of it. But I’d like the sound of me on top of you better.”

Akira grabbed the portable board, Hikaru the stones and they rapidly headed into the next room. Once there, Hikaru put the two baskets on the bed and turned toward Akira, unbuttoning his shirt.

“Remember,” he said, “you have to be *completely* naked for this game.”

“Like this?” Akira reached down and unzipped Hikaru’s pants, pushing them and his underwear down.

“Definitely like this,” Hikaru said, returning the favor. They climbed on the bed, and Akira wrapped his arms around Hikaru, starting to bring their mouths together.

Hikaru gently pushed him away. “We’re here to play first, remember?” He opened the board and reached into the black go ke, beginning to recreate the game from the first move. Once he had all the stones in place, he handed the white stones to Akira.

“It’s your play,” he said, giving Akira a flirtatious glance. “Show me your best moves.”

Akira studied the board carefully. He had a definite reason to want to win this game now! He decided that the first thing he should do was shore up some of his weaker groups, then attack swiftly and mercilessly.

He laid his stone, then watched Hikaru’s face as he studied the board -- his lover was now taking the game as seriously as he was. The move he made revealed he’d discovered Akira’s weaknesses, and was going to go after them before Akira could block them.

*Not a chance,* Akira thought. *If you6;re6;re thinking 10 moves ahead, I’m thinking 20. But first, I’ll give you a taste of your own medicine.*

“I always love the way you respond to my hands,” he said, giving Hikaru an intense stare.

Hikaru sucked in a deep breath, and Akira could see his body tense a bit. Akira smiled -- he’d knocked Hikaru’s concentration a bit off balance. Which is precisely what he’d wanted to do.

*He did that on purpose,* Hikaru thought. He took a deep breath, regained his composure and reached quickly into the go ke, pulling out a stone and laying it down with a loud *pachi*.

*I’m going to win this one, Touya,* he thought. *I’m going to come out on top -- in every sense of the word!*

* * *

Hikaru finished counting up the stones, and his heart sank.

“Two moku,” he grumbled. *I was so close,* he thought. *Right up to the end, I could have won.*

Akira smiled, leaning over the board. “And now, I collect my bet,” he said. He brought his lips to Hikaru’s, kissing him hard, pushing his tongue into the other boy’s mouth. Hikaru let out a little moan, pushing his tongue to meet Akira’s.

Akira stroked Hikaru’s tongue, hungrily, hands starting to sweep up and down his back -- and pausing to give a good, hard squeeze to his bottom, making Hikaru give a yelp in his throat.

Their mouths parted, and Akira moved down to Hikaru’s neck, kissing him hard, almost sucking the flesh. Hikaru felt his breath start to come heavily, his hips rising up off the bed and grinding hard against his lover as one hand tangled in Akira’s hair.

The other flailed wildly, knocking into the board and sending Go stones flying everywhere. One of them landed right next to where Akira’s head was.

Akira reached up, grabbed the object -- and a wicked idea entered his mind. He reached down with the stone and started rubbing it back and forth, slowly, over a nipple.

Hikaru let out a gasp. The cool smoothness was unlike anything he’d felt before -- an electric jolt to the senses.

“You like that?” Akira said.

Hikaru could only let out a moan.

“You’ll like this more, then,” Akira said. His head descended to the nipple, his mouth fastening around the bud, sucking hungrily. Hikaru groaned again, arching upward, grabbing Akira’s head again as if to hold it in place.

But Akira did lift up -- only to take the stone and rub it over the hardened nub again. Now Hikaru let out a cry, feeling the contrast between hot and wet, and cool and smooth -- one a dreamy, warm, slow sensation, the other a sudden, sharp blast of pleasure.

“More,” Hikaru moaned, and Akira was too happy to comply, licking the nipple in long, slow strokes, then taking it in andkingking fast and hard, then lifting his head and rubbing the stone again.

“Oh, it gets even better,” Akira said in a husky whisper. He moved down on the bed, and Hikaru tensed, knowing what was coming.

When Akira’s mouth swept down on his erection, as deep as he could take it, Hikaru nearly lifted his hips all the way off the bed, a long, low, throaty sound filling the air. He panted as the other boy pulled him almost all the way out, then slid down rapidly again, stayed in place for a moment, then pulled back.

Then the warm mouth was gone and the cool smoothness was brushing the head of his erection, and Hikaru nearly exploded. He bit his lip to keep from losing it, one hand clutching the sheets, the other palm pounding the mattress, sending more stones hopping off the board.

Akira took the stone away and swirled his tongue rapidly over the head, then licked down the shaft, all the way to the sac beneath. He lapped lightly at that, before moving upward again -- and began to slide the stone gently along his shaft, following the same wet path.

“Ahhhh!” Hikaru cried, writhing on the mattress. “Akira . . . Akira, oh GODS . . .”

Akira took the tip into his mouth and began a rapid suction, this time brushing the stone over the sac with a feathery-light touch that made his lover shudder.

*I think we’re close,* he thought. *I need to take him now, or he won’t be able to hold out much longer.”

He slid his mouth away, laid the stone aside, and moved toward the drawer to get their lubricant -- when Hikaru suddenly sprung off the bed and tackled Akira, rolling him on his back, stones in hand.

“Not quite yet,” Hikaru said. “Not until you get to find out how it feels.”

His mouth descended to Akira’s erection, sucking rapidly, making him stiffen and gasp. Hikaru lifted his head and began to stroke one of the stones over the head, and Akira let out a long, shuddering breath.

*Oh, gods!* he thought. *No wonder he was almost there! This is . . . this is . . ,.”

Hikaru licked up and down Akira’s erection like a child licking a popsicle, the sound of his lover’s moans just making his own blood run hotter. One he was sure it was wet enough for what he had planned, he moved back up to the head, swirling his tongue around.

He took one stone in each hand and began stroking them up and down either side of his erection as his tongue continued to work on the crown.

Now it was Akira’s turn to almost lose it. He reached down and tangled his fingers in Hikaru’s hair, letting out a sound that was somewhere between a grunt and a moan, his legs opening wider, hips rising up off the bed.

Hikaru raised his head and took the stones away, a sly smile crossing his face. “Now, were you just about to do something?”

Akira almost begged him to go back to what he was doing, to make him come that way. But he also wanted to feel Hikaru’s sheath all around his sensitized manhood, squeezing him, drawing him in . . .

His hand shot into the drawer and he drew out the tube and a package of condoms. He prepared himself as fast as he could, then rolled Hikaru on his back, pushing his legs up and out.

Hikaru raised his hips and closed his eyes, eagerly awaiting the expected probing finger. When it came, he bit his lip as he rode out the pain, knowing he’d have to get past it to feel the pleasure.

When it came, it was warm, liquid and sweet, like heated honey stealing through his veins. He let out a groan, and groaned louder when the finger slid out of him, only to be replaced, along with a second.

The fingers slid out, and then Akira was on top of him, and Hikaru thrust upward as he felt the probing, eager to have his lover inside him.

“Easy, easy,” Akira said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I don’t care about pain!” Hikaru said. “I need you!”

But Akira slid in slowly and carefully, feeling Hikaru tense -- despite his big words, his lover was feeling the pain that was inevitable at the start of every act of love. He paused, letting the other boy get used to the sensation.

Then, he began to pump, slowly, and he felt Hikaru grip his bottom. The sensation was even more intense than usual, the tight passage seeming to grip his very soul, and he knew he wasn’t going to last long tonight.

From the way Hikaru was eagerly bucking under him, he knew his lover wouldn’t last long, either. The boys both moaned, their bodies starting to move together in synch, Hikaru’s legs wrapping around Akira’s hips as their chests pressed together, one erect nipple sliding against another.

“Akira,” Hikaru gasped. “So good . . . faster . . .”

“Yes,” Akira groaned before burying his face in the juncture of Hikaru’s neck and shoulder, his hips pumping faster, harder, a heavy heat swelling rapidly in his belly, threatening to explode.

Hikaru writhed beneath his lover, his very blood feeling like lava as he let out low, throaty sounds, knowing it comicoming any second, any second . . .

Then, Hikaru stiffened and let out a sound that was almost a scream as hot spasms wracked his entire body in long, shuddering waves. His sheath tightened hard around Akira, sending his lover over the edge, the heat that had been building ie hie him exploding in bursts of intensity.

He sagged on top of the other boy, and they panted, clinging to each other as if for dear life, before looking into each other’s eyes and sharing a deep, long kiss.

They snuggled, Hikaru resting his head on Akira’s chest as Akira gently stroked his hair.

“Hikaru?” Akira said.

“Hmmm?” Hikaru felt warm and pleasantly sleepy and content. He wanted to hear Akira say sweet nothings to him -- they didn’t exchange words like that often, but once in awhile . . .

"The lower right corner -- you attacked too soon. And those stones in the upper right -- you should have connected them sooner. You did take me by surprise with what happened in the middle around . . ."

Hikaru suddenly sat up, eyes blazing. "TOUYA! I do NOT want to talk about Go NOW!"

Akira sat up as well. "Playing Go in bed was YOUR IDEA!"

"I didn't mean for it to be ANALYZED later!" Hikaru said, his voice rising, hands starting to clench?

"So you don't want to *learn* from the game?" Akira said, crossing his arms.

"Learn THIS!" Hikaru grabbed a pillow and whacked Akira with it. Akira looked shocked and taken aback for a moment, then grabbed another pillow and whacked Hikaru right back.

Hikaru swung his pillow again, and before they knew it, they were whomping each other like two teenybopper girls at a slumber party, both of them laughing as they bounced around the mattress.

Finally, they collapsed in a heap among pillows and Go stones, both of them laughing at the top of their lungs. Eventually, the laughter died down to giggles, then faded away altogether.

"All right," said Hikaru. "What about the game?"

Akira leaned over and kissed him. "We'll discuss it in the morning."

* * *

Hikaru looked over the stones spread out on the goban in front of him, studying them intently. The two insei who sat at either side of the board looked at him with wide, expectant eyes, like two nominees for an award awaiting the opening of the envelope.

“Murasaki,” he said, “you need to strengthen your endgame. You had the upper hand until *here*” -- he pointed to a group of stones -- “and then you lost your focus.”

The boy to his left, who had a long sweep of reddish-brown hair nearly covering his eyes, rubbed the back of his head and frowned. “So the hane-komi was a mistake, then?”

“It wasn’t a *bad* move,” Hikaru said, “but a hane-tsuki probably would have been smarter.”

He watched the faces of the two boys as he continued to go through his explanation of the game, watching them go from elation to disappointment to an “oh, MAN” frown of disgust.

Hikaru knew all those emotions all too well. It seemed like only yesterday, sometimes, that he was the one sitting in this classroom, knocking his brains out to make the first group, and then make the Young Lions Tournament, and then qualify for the pro exam.

*Are either of these boys going to pass the pro exam?* he thought. *Are they even going to get that far? They both have potential, but so did a lot of the people I knew who didn’t make it.*

The buzzer ran for lunch, and both boys got up. “Do you have any questions?” Hikaru said.

“Just . . . well, are you going to be with us every day?” Murasaki said.

“Not every day,” Hikaru said. “Just one or two days a week. Why?”

The boy seemed deep in thought for a moment, as if he was carefully considering what he was going to say, and then said, “Well, it’s just . . . we learn so much more from you than we do from the regular sensei.”

“Really?” Hikaru said, a look of surprise crossing his face.

“It’s like . . . you understand us better,” said the other boy, Saito, whose thin face was nearly obscured by a huge pairowliowlish glasses. “You can read our playing styles, you see things in our games nobody else does.”

“Well . . . thanks,” Hikaru said, as he got up.

“You sure you don’t want to teach full-time?” Murasaki said as they started to leave the classroom.

“Nope,” Hikaru said. “I’m competing in tournaments -- I don’t have time.”

The group arrived at the elevators. “Are you going out?” Murasaki said.

“I brought my lunch,” Hikaru said. “I’m just going to the break room.”

“Okay!” Murasaki said, waving. “We’ll see you!”

Hikaru continued on his way, thinking about the compliment he had been given. *I didn’t think I was that great a teacher,* he thought. *But I’d never do it full-time. I’ve fought too long and too hard to get where I am now.*

He walked into the break room and stopped. At the first table were Waya and Isumi, and as soon as he walked into the room, they looked up at him.

Suddenly, all Hikaru could do was look back. *Why do I feel so uncomfortable around them now?* he thought. *We were best friends! Heck, we could be best friends again! I want to get them back into my life like I did with Akari.*

He took a deep breath. “Hi, guys! How have you been?”

Waya and Isumi exchanged a look before Waya said, “We’re fine. We’re co-teaching a group lesson today.”

“I’m teaching an insei class,” Hikaru said, a bit too quickly. “I like it . . . I mean, I like playing better, but . . .”

“Hey, we all like playing better,” Waya replied.

“I guess we have a game day tomorrow, don’t we?” Hikaru said, nervously rubbing the back of his head. *Why do I have to force the conversation?* he thought. *Talking to them used to be the most natural thing in the world.*

“I do,” Isumi said. “I’m playing Yamashito.”

“Oh, yeah, I know who you mean,” Hikaru said. “He thinks he’s the king of Go.”

“Eh, he’s all talk and no action,” Waya said, leaning back in his seat. “I played him a few weeks ago -- I beat him easy.”

Hikaru felt his mood brightening. Could it be that things could finally get back to what they were?

“Touya said the same thing about him,” Hikaru said.

At the mention of Akira’s name, the room suddenly went quiet, the renewed sense of camaraderie seeming to leak out of the room like air let out of a balloon. Hikaru supressed an urge to slam his hand over his mouth.

Then, Waya broke the silence by saying, quietly, “You’re still with him, aren’t you?”

Hikaru wanted to snap back, “Yes, and so what?” But he knew if he wanted to rebuild their friendship, he had to keep his cool.

“Yes,” he said. “We live in a cool apartment, with nice neighbors, and we have a room just for Go, and we hired someone to help us with the cooking and cleaning but I still do some of the cooking . . .” And then, before even he knew what he was saying, he added, “I’m gonna be having a dinner party, in fact, do you guys want to come?”

Waya and Isumi looked at each other again. Hikaru hated that. It used to be, when they did that, he’d know exactly what they were thinking. Now, he wasn’t sure at all.

“I’d love to,” Isumi said, slowly. “That is, if you . . .”

“Sure, sure,” Waya said. “When and where?”

“Sunday, 7 p.m. -- give me your E-mail, Waya, I’ll send you the directions.”

Waya frowned. “Hey, waiminuminute! Since when have you been able to use a computer?”

“Um . . . Touya taught me.” Hikaru felt a blush creeping up his cheeks. He knew very well that his first computer lesson with Akira had ended up with the two of them on his futon for the first time.

Waya fished around in his pockets and came up with a stump of a pencil and a grocery store receipt. He scribbled the address on the back of the paper and handed it to Hikaru. “So who else is coming to this party?”

“Some of my old friends from Go club,” Hikaru replied. *I don’t think I have to say that Akira will be there as well,* he thought.

Isumi looked at his watch. “Waya . . . we need to get back to class.”

“Okay . . . I’m going.” He looked back at Hikaru. “We’ll see you later, okay?”

Hikaru watched them go, and collapsed into the seat, letting out a long breath like a deflating balloon. He’d done it. He’d invited them. Now it just remained to be seen how the evening would go.

*I’ve got to make things be the way they were before,* he thought. *And I’ll make them see I’m happy . . . no matter what they may think of Akira.*

* * *

Akira was having similar thoughts as he looked at himself in the mirror in the bathroom of their apartment.

He’d taken special pains with his appearance. He’d worn his nicest game-day suit, a gray one, and a brand-new blue shirt and pinstriped tie. He’d used a light gel to hold his hair in place. He wanted to look well-groomed and thoroughly *adult*.

*I have to convince him that I am in *control* of my life,* Akira thought, *and that my decisions are *my* decisions.*

He saw the reflection of Hikaru in the mirror behind him, and turned around. “Wow, you look hot,” Hikaru said. “Sure you don’t want to stay here with me tonight?”

“This dinner is very important to me, Shindou,” Akira said, turning around and heading toward the door of the room.

“Hey, I was just kidding!” Hikaru said, moving out of the way as his lover flounced past. *Geez, he’s calling me *Shindou* as well,* he thought. *He must be serious.*

“I intend to come back with my relationship with my father back on track,” Akira said, fiddling a bit with one cuff as he headed toward the living room.

“Oh, speaking of dinner!” Hikaru said, running after him. “That dinner party we were talking about before? It’s Sunday.”

Akira stopped in his tracks and whirled around so fast that his hair nearly swung around his head. “Sunday?”

“Well, I want to get back my old relationships, too!” Hikaru said.

“You went ahead and scheduled it without talking to me first?” Akira replied, folding his arms across his chest.

“How come I have to ask your permission?” Hikaru said, hands clenched at his sides.

“Because this is my apartment, too!” Akira said, voice rising.

“Well, it’s also half mine, and I want to have my friends over!” Hikaru said, his voice louder than Akira’s.

Akira knew if he let the fight continue, he’d end up storming out of the apartment in a huff -- and he didn’t want to face his father in a mood like that. Instead, he took a deep breath and said, “All right. Who’s coming over?”

“Akari-chan. Couple of guys I knew from Go Club. Waya-kun and Isumi-san. Kyoko-san’s going to help with the food.”

Akira bristled at the mention of Waya and Isumi. He knew Waya didn’t like him even before he got involved with Hikaru, and probably liked him even less now. But he *did* like the idea of Akari coming over -- he figured that since she was Hikaru’s oldest friend, he should get to know her.

“Fine,” he said. “I have to go -- I don’t want to be late for the dinner.”

Hikaru leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips. “Good luck,” he said.

“Thanks,” Akira said, and walked out the door.

Hikaru flopped down on the couch. *Well, at least he’s okay with it,* he thought. *Now I’ve got to call people.*

The apartment seemed quiet . . . eerily quiet. Hikaru was not used to being *alone*. He’d always lived with someone, first his parents -- even though he avoided his mother as much as possible, he’d always hear her somewhere in the house -- and then Akira. And, of course, he’d never been alone for a single second during the years Sai had been with him.

Hikaru went into the kitchen and grabbed the cordless phone, fumbling in his pocket for the list of numbers he’d compiled earlier that day with the help of the phone directory and his old Haze yearbook. He didn’t have to look up the first number, though -- he knew it by heart.

* * *

Akari hung up the phone and returned to her bedroom. Mitani was still sitting at the portable goban, set up on a folding t.
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