My Own Way

Matt glanced up as the front door slammed, but immediately turned to his game again. He had made the decision that he was going to ignore Mello, whatever the bastard tried to do to gain his attention. The blond had been acting like a diva and if he wouldn't listen to reason, then he wouldn't be listened to at all. Blanking him completely though was difficult to do when Mello's presense filled the room, sparking with danger, drunk with superiority. The blond peeled off his jacket and vest. The inner linings of both were slink with fluids from the wounds he had chafed open again. Matt pursed his lips and concentrated on his game.



"Ok, lather me up." Mello commanded, sitting down on a chair.



Matt barked back. "Do it your fucking self. You were the one who..."



Mello was over him in a shot, a gloved hand in his hair pulling him back. Matt shrieked at the pain, heart thumping at the suddenness of it all. Mello hadn't been like this since Los Angeles, but his whole persona seemed different too from that. There wasn't the same manic glare. It felt more grown-up, even more threatening than before. "I'm sorry." Mello hissed. "Do you have a problem with how I do things?"



Matt reached to prise the fingers from his hair. Defiance snapped back. "Yes, I fucking do! We could come up with something without them! I could help you!"



"And what can you do, Matt?" Mello sneered. "You're even more of a geek than you were back there. You didn't have the guts of your convictions. Always going on at me about how the rankings didn't matter, but you stayed. You clung to Ann's skirts and stayed where Roger could see you like a good boy. I nearly caught Kira, while you fine-tuned your best Tetris scores." He threw Matt's head back onto the armchair and sat back down on the chair. "Lather me up."



Matt scrambled to his feet, picking up his cigarettes and lighter, barely able to believe this situation. If he allowed himself to dwell on this, his heart would break first over the loss of Mello to this arsehole attitude and Mafioso crap before it would over the treatment of himself. He didn't look at the blond, nor did he say another word, he just jumped over the coffee table and escaped to his room over the other armchair. He kicked shut his door and sat down on the bed, lighting a cigarette. There had to be another way. There had to be. He had to keep remembering that underneath it all, Mello was still the sweet kid he had been before Near had arrived and the competition had hardened the blond into a bully.



Matt's door didn't so much open as crash into the wall behind it. Mello glowered from the entrance, more angry than Matt had ever seen him. The redhead jumped to his feet and vaulted over the bed. "Leave me the fuck alone, Mello."



"Oh look." Mello paced forward with a sardonic grin. "You got me into your bedroom."



Matt's heart skipped a beat. He glanced at his laptops, but couldn't see how they could help him, other than as missiles to throw. "This isn't you, Mello. Deep inside. It's not you."



"So you think you know me." Mello laughed without humour. That maniacal stare was back in his eyes, intensified by the damaged wounds surrounding one of them. "You knew me, Matty, but I went and grew up a day sooner than all the other kids."



"No. I know you." Matt forced himself to breathe. He inhaled deeply on his cigarette. "I know there's a man inside you who is really fucking hurting at the moment. You don't know yet that you're still gorgeous and you don't think you can catch Kira..." Mello had jumped to stand up on the bed. Matt realised where he had stopped speaking and rushed on, "without the Mafia. But you are fucking brilliant, Mello. You can think of something. I can help you think of.."



"Poor Matty." Mello cooed. "Out of his depth." He peered down from a two foot advantage. Matt sighed, knowing himself to be trapped. He bounced up, onto the bed, sending the springs rocking so much that Mello fell over onto his arse on the bed. Matt flicked him the birdie and stepped off the other side. He heard a roar and Mello was after him, colliding and sending Matt into the passageway wall. "Don't you ever walk out on me!" He gripped Matt, slamming him around to face him. "Ever!"



Matt felt his shoulder bruising and his shirt becoming wet from contact with Mello's wounds. The blond was pressed up against him. In any other circumstances, it might even be erotic. In his fantasies, Mello was always rough. "Ok. Time out. Let me lather you up. Let me get the ointment." Mello smirked, reaching down to push his tongue into Matt's mouth. Matt fought, but Mello hit him again. Someone was going to get seriously hurt, if he didn't just surrender again. He submitted to the kiss, planning how to entice the blond back into the front room and calm enough to have this injuries dressed again. But Mello's hands were all over him. It made it hard to think. They travelled down past his waistband and cupped his groin. Matt's eyes opened, startled, but Mello was massaging him through the denim. Matt struggled and succeeded in breaking the kiss. "Mello! No!"



The bastard just laughed at him. One hand coming up to encase Matt's throat, the other crushing rhythmically in between his legs. Matt felt himself going into shock, too stunned to know how to react. Mello leaned in for another kiss, "Are you still a virgin, Matty? Is that something else you failed at?"



Matt senses were reeling. Everything in him screamed to fight back. The wounds were there. He could hurt Mello really badly. He only had touch in certain places; he could rake his nails in that oozing mass if he had to. But all reason told him that Mello was already hurting badly. "I don't believe that you're so far gone that you aren't still..." He screamed as Mello's finger's tightened around his balls and the shaft of his hard-on. Pain flashed through his body from the groin outwards. Matt felt nauseaous, as Mello slapped his face. Then the blond stepped back and he slid down the wall, curling up in agony. Just when he thought it was over, Mello reached down and closed leather fingers of the back of his neck. Matt kicked out, but Mello side-stepped easily. He was being pulled up by the scruff of his neck, the striped linen digging into his Adam's apple, being propelled forward to be thrown onto the bed. "Mello! Please! Please!"



"Wow! Matt's showing emotions! Matt's talking to me like he's a human being!" Mello snarled. "He's not grown into a robot after all!" There were hands underneath Matt, undoing his belt buckle. There was a knee in the centre of his back holding him down. "I'm sorry, would you have preferred your first time to have been gentle? Candlelight and soft music?" Matt gasped, understanding fully what Mello was going to do. The blond's hands were on his member again, moving along it. "No, of course he wouldn't, because the fucking whore is already hard and all I've done is knock him around a bit."



Matt tried to hit back, his hands flying up against Mello's thigh, trying to punch him in the nuts too, but Mello leaned back out of reach. "Please, Mell. Please don't. You don't have to do this."



Mello cooed now. "Oh, but I want to."



"What?" Matt screamed back. Implications tumbled through his mind, but none of them stuck. It had to be Mello on another powerkick. Nothing else made sense. "Mello you aren't... you... oh! God! Please Mell, leave me alone!"



"Your body says yes."



Matt's boxers were yanked down, exposing his arse. He fought harder, nearly succeeding in dislodging Mello's knee from his back. "No! You aren't this much of a bastard! No means no! No means no! Mihael! No!" He was close to tears and didn't care if Mello knew it. But then the pressure was taken off his back and he was rolled onto his back. Mello towered over him, but was looking now in interest, not fury. "Mell..."



"Sssh." Mello pulled his own leather trousers down, the laces already undone. He was as hard as Matt was. "Would it make a difference to you if said I wanted it too?"



Matt's voice caught. "As if you'd stop if I said it didn't."



Mello smirked. "I'm not raping you, Matty. You look me in the eye and tell me that you don't want this. Tell me that you don't want my putrid body anywhere near yours and I will walk out and leave you alone."



Matt stared. This was dream and nightmare all wrapped up together. It felt like all his hopes coming together, that it was only Catholicism keeping Mello away from him; but it was also exploitation. Whether it was he exploiting Mello or the other way round, he couldn't say, but there were power games here. Mello attacking him where he was weakest, blackmailing him. If he said no now, then he was feeding Mello's fears, telling Mello that he was ugly. It was so wrong. It was hot as Hell. It was sexy, erotic, terrifying, shameful, wrong... "I want it."



"Good boy." Mello grinned and descended upon him. It was over in minutes, pain raging through his rectum long before Mello had managed to get himself in, which then gave way to glorious release. It was as if all the muscles in his arse just caved in surrender and the feeling deep inside sent Matt soaring. He clawed the quilt and heard deep moans from Mello's throat. Before he could stop himself, Matt came all over the bed, but the orgasm seemed to last forever. The ease with which Mello was thrusting in now somehow unreal. Matt wished they could stay this way always, Mello inside him, screaming his name. "Matt! Mary, Mother of God! Matt!" Then there was heat and wetness, as his friend came inside him. "Oh! God! Matt! Oh my God!"