Zoro Learns Some Manners

…so I’m just borrowing them for the sake of Yaoi. Once I’m done then I promise to wipe them off and give them back ;) Any resemblance to real people is coincidental - these guys are pure fantasy *sigh*

Warning: contains a lot of very strong language and steamy Yaoi / boysecks (Zoro x Sanji)


This chapter is dedicated to the wonderful people in the LJ ZoSan and OnePieceYaoi communities. Thanks for all the inspirational writing / arts and the kind words XD

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The cook and the swordsman stood toe to toe. The whole island seemed to hold its breath as the rough, calloused hand dropped from the down covered chin. The spell was shattered by the ending of that tender gesture. The reality of the twins, the ocean, and their situation flooded in.


Zoro coughed.


Well, this is uncomfortable.


Those beautiful blue eyes. That idiot of a man who had no fucking idea what he was missing out on. This perfect day that they would never have. He felt suddenly sad …and horny.


Damn cook.


There was only one thing that would clear his mind.


He faced the twins again and pointedly turned his swords over - blunt side out. The two perfectly sculpted bodies turned in unison, and four dark green eyes peered from behind long dark locks. Jynx laughed,


“Finally ready to fight then? The wife gave you permission?”


Zoro felt all the muscles in his arms and shoulders tense.


That had pissed him off a lot more than he expected.


“What I do is nothing to do with him.” He growled around Wadou, narrowing his dark eyes.


The twins raised their matched blades and twirled them in a perfect mirror routine; they hovered and sung in the air. Finally they turned, throwing them and catching all four between their interlaced fingers. They were back in formation, back to back. Zoro tapped his foot impatiently.


The dramatic pair began to twirl their blades together. They whirled faster and faster, and then they linked their elbows and twisted the piercing points around them in a deadly figure of eight. Zoro traced the path of the knives in the air. They dipped and soared, right over left, with a crossover every three turns. He stretched his tight shoulder muscles out and relaxed his wrists to draw the two katanas in his hands into a lazy turn. Together they were formidable opponents, but in order to fight that way they needed to be able to predict each other’s movements exactly. Their strength was also a weakness.


He felt the rhythm of the twisting bodies in front of him. A gentle breeze from the knives batted his eyelids and his movements synchronised with their jagged blades. He drew one long, deep breath.


Zoro sprung forwards and sidestepped, launching off the balls of his feet. He flew into the air, up over the heads of the waiting twins. As he cleared them he flipped once, taking a long swipe two-sword style on the way over. The twins deflected the blow, and the downwards force of it drove them deeper into the sand. Their blades crossed and then began to rotate the other way. Their defence was still flawless. They were a little stronger than they looked.


But only a little.


Jynx turned to face the swordsman again, her arms still linked with those of her brother. She smiled and her almond shaped eyes glinted.


Zoro wriggled his feet into the sand. He relished the weight of the three blades, feeling the gentle pull of bloodlust and gravity. The twins began to turn, arm over arm. They threw each other ahead using their combined mass, each acted as a counter weight for the other. They were moving up the beach fast, the jagged knives flashing in the summer sun. The white sand gleamed and the swordsman blinked, something was missing…


The lithe black-clad bodies pivoted in the air. Zoro turned and let his swords take the attack. He turned the force of their momentum against them, twisting his body around and spinning them back up the beach again. He had rolled his arms around to slide Yubashiri along one of the pretty-boy’s blades. He watched the reaction of his prey intently.


Jade let go of his sister’s hands, and touched two pale digits to his delicate face. He looked down at his hand and then smiled. Zoro had made sure not to draw any blood. Baka-cook was right, in a way. He didn’t need to go all out on this type of scum. As long as he kept advancing towards his goal it didn’t matter if he left behind corpses or hospital bills.


It would be good training.


Nothing to do with Sanji.


The two tall, pale siblings had turned to face the swordsman. They pointed their blades out and smiled those twin scythe grins.


Zoro finally realised what was wrong. Despite the sun, and the glittering waves, and the gleaming white sand, he could see.


He wasn’t squinting, and his head didn’t even ache. No hangover, and he was even on holiday. It was amazing. The swordsman was grateful he didn’t have time to contemplate that miracle for long. He had a feeling he would have been very concerned if he did.


A silver arc appeared between the twins. The really could move fast… They kicked off the beach and spun towards Zoro, becoming two blinding discs of light. He thanked his luck that they had picked today to fight him, as he relaxed his body and let the rhythm of their blades pulse through it.


Waiting… waiting…


The swordsman stood still until he could feel the breeze of the knives even through his shirt. At the apex of their mirror-swing, he dropped to his knees and then leapt, twisting, towards them. Wadou turned with him, breaking through their swing and snapping two knives - and two hands - back, and away. He crossed his arms as the other two blades came down. He flicked his wrists and snapped his shoulders back as he sailed between the lithe bodies.


Both of them had leapt away by the time that Zoro had landed and taken up his finishing stance. His katanas rattled as the two knives twirled round them. He let the tips of the two swords dip and the knives clattered down the lengths of steel and hit the beach. Zoro stepped away from the irregular, harsh edges. They had kept their finish even after being hit by the katana. Maybe these two could get better…


“Come and get them” Zoro said to Jynx, as she craned over her brother. Jade stood and shook his wrists; then he smiled at his sister’s concerned face and strode over to where the first two knives lay. He stooped and picked them up, throwing one to his sibling. She snatched the knife from the air and her black glare locked on to the swordsman.


She had a hauntingly familiar look in her eyes.


He knew that she would not walk away, no matter the cost. He would do her the honour of fighting with all his strength. He might not want to hurt her, but for a warrior it was better to die with honour than to live with shame.


Sanji believed he could do it this way and not kill them.


Maybe that was enough.


Jynx advanced slowly, and took the remaining weapons from the sand. She threw one back to her brother. The almond shaped green eyes burned into the swordsman’s own.


“You’ll regret that” she hissed.


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Nami found Robin on the balcony of the hotel they were staying at. She was reclining in a deck chair with a book and a steaming cup of coffee. The redhead sighed. It looked so damn relaxing… She was very tempted to just join her and pretend that nothing was happening with the rest of the crew. Or ‘the idiots’ as Nami preferred to call them. Saved time.


Instead, she sighed once more and broached the subject of most importance. Robin always appreciated it when people were direct.


“Have you noticed anything strange about Sanji and Zoro?” she said.


Robin looked up from her book and pushed her sun glasses above her head.


“Strange, navigator-san?” she let a little smile slip, and Nami knew that she had hit pay dirt.


“You know, out of the ordinary?” she angled, not wanting to give anything away for nothing.


“Well, I suppose there has been a certain ‘something’ in the air…” the brunette mused.


“I KNEW IT!” Nami shouted, before realising she was meant to be being covert. She leaned in nice and close over Robin and whispered conspiratorially,


“Tell me! They’re not actually becoming friends are they? It just seems impossible!”


Robin smiled a particularly cryptic smile,


“Not friends as such…” she said, conveying just enough with her inflection that a clever girl would know just what she meant.


Nami’s jaw hit the balcony.


“WHAT!?” she stammered. Realising the volume once again, she leaned in even closer,


“No. You can’t mean that they…?”


Robin turned her exotic blue eyes on the flame-haired girl who was practically smothering her with her bosom.


“I do mean that they,” she said. It wasn’t a proper sentence, but she had learned to be a lot more relaxed with her expression after so much time with Luffy. Nami pushed herself back and just gaped.


“How did you find out?” she asked, for a minute distracted by the thought of discovering new and interesting intelligence gathering methods. Robin laughed and gestured to the wooden door which Nami had gone through to get onto the balcony.


A little gaggle of eyes appeared, blinked, and then sunk into the woodwork. The navigator’s eyes gleamed with evil thoughts,


“Oh Robin, you naughty thing!”


“I only glanced when I heard them making a lot of noise. It is not something I make a habit of. They were in the galley; that’s a public space.” Robin concluded, trying to set some guidelines early. She was pretty sure that somehow she was going to end up doing something she didn’t want to otherwise. Despite the redhead’s brutish methods, she was quite cunning. Robin had already found herself in a couple of situations which she would never otherwise have contemplated. She was too clever, and she was adorable.


Certainly the most dangerous person aboard.


“So you really saw?!” Nami couldn’t believe it. It was ridiculous. But somehow, she knew - even now - that it was true.


“I did” Robin said.


“Come on, what did you see?”


Robin’s eyebrows rose in mild surprise. She remained diplomatically silent.


“Oh, Robin!” Nami whined, “You can’t just say that. It’s cruel!”


Robin looked up at the pouting, the crossed arms, and the heaving bosom of indignation.


Just a tidbit wouldn’t hurt.


She said it slowly and with no emotion what-so-ever.


“Swordsman-san’s technique certainly shows the many hours he has spent training with a sword in his mouth.”


Nami squealed, remembered her vow to be stealthy, decided she didn’t give a damn anymore, and squealed again.


“I knew it!” the redhead squeaked, as she ran out the door and hurtled down the stairs two at a time. A tiny ‘thankyou Robin!’ floated up from the street below as the Navigator disappeared.


Robin smiled. She tried not to, but that one just snuck through. She lifted her book back up and took a sip of her coffee. They really were a lot of fun, these pirates.


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The cook stood and slowly undid the buttons of his ex-favourite white shirt. That was the problem with refusing to wear nasty clothes. Everything that you ruined was a favourite.


He peeled the rag slowly from his skin, wincing just a tiny bit. The narrow rivulets of blood had ceased to run, but the angry red slices still gleamed wet in the sun. She had certainly got him a treat.


His skin tingled with her burning attack of love. She wasn’t exactly his sweet Mellorine, but she certainly had some formidable charms… the cook gazed at the generously bobbing bosom as he lit his cigarette. He regretfully dumped the shirt. It was a pointless exercise to keep it on. His whole chest, and back, had been covered in a tight lattice of cuts. Somehow his pants were ok, but his shirt (and his skin) had been lacerated to ribbons.


Zoro leapt and turned. Sanji could see that he was using all of his strength, his speed was incredible. Idiot promised to go easy! Once the cook saw the sand settle, and the two knives wrapped around the swordsman’s blades, he relaxed. Maybe.


Just maybe there was hope for moss-head yet.


Zoro could feel the cook standing behind him. He didn’t have the time to turn around, but it was nice to have him there, at his back.


Even if the useless bastard wouldn’t fight.


Jade stepped out from behind his sister. He walked out around Zoro until he was behind the swordsman. Sanji stepped back to accommodate him. He considered joining in, but Zoro had turned just enough to wink at the cook before facing his opponent once more.


The bastard was actually enjoying himself!


The blades began their deadly song again, whistling through the air as the twins juggled the steel between them. The jagged edges caught the light as they flew over the swordsman’s head. The two lithe forms twisted as the twins moved in, closer and closer. They twirled the blades expertly, throwing them, and rolling the backs of the blades over their bodies. They hit the knives in mid-air changing their speed and direction. From throwing they moved to striking, and kicking the blades. One came too close to the swordsman’s nose so he deflected it with the cursed sword. It was re-directed by a foot and was hurling back into his face in an instant. While he was distracted, a second knife was knocked towards his head. He dropped and knocked them out of the air with Wadou. Within an instant, the twins had sent them back. Each time he knocked one away, another two would take its place. With the two of them working so perfectly in unison, he had to focus every nerve. He had to stretch his reflexes to the very limit.


The jagged edges glinted as they flashed in front of his face. Sparks began to fly from his beloved katanas as he turned, deflected, and struck again. Each time he managed to send a hit past the ring of whirling blades, by the time it landed, the dark haired menace was gone. Zoro was starting to get really annoyed. Training was one thing, but he hated to be made a fool of. He could feel the pattern in their movement. They appeared, struck, deflected, re-directed, and then moved again. Each time they appeared somewhere different, but they always returned to their original spot every three attacks. The swordsman let his arms drop, and allowed the next attack to glance him.


He moved with the strike to minimise the damage and then grabbed the arm behind the hit. Jynx’s eyes widened as she was yanked into his arms. He twisted around and pulled her with him, using his momentum to force her to complete her turn. He moved his feet into position as they finished their pirouette, and came face to face with Jade. Right on schedule.


It was the start of the twins’ little dance, so here he was ready to take the first step. The elegant boy appeared and then touched his foot to the sand to leap away. But Zoro was already there. His feet were between the two siblings and he twisted his upper body sharply, knocking them both off balance. He continued his turn; ankles, then hips, then shoulders all snapping back. He drove both elbows down in one sharp motion. There was a reassuring crack as bone hit bone and then the two limp bodies sagged into the sand.


The swordsman idly picked up one of the knives and turned it over. It was quite unwieldy and the centre of balance was terrible. That would be the reason behind that unusual wobble they had in the air… truly a difficult weapon to wield. Hopefully as the word of his swordsmanship spread, he would meet more interesting people like this.


“I told you so,” said a smug voice behind him.


“Mmmmph.” He replied, turning back to continue the argument where they left off.


Sanji picked up his shirt and rinsed it to an off-pink in the rising tide. Then he started sponging the drying blood off his rippling chest. Unlike Zoro, who had thick slabs of flesh, Sanji had a perfect map of every muscle in the human body. No bulging, just gorgeous toned perfection. The swordsman blinked and remembered he was trying to make a point a minute ago. What about, he had no idea.


The blonde wrung out his shirt and let the beading water run down his chest.


“As your teacher, I’d have to say that was embarrassing.”


Zoro growled. Of all the nerve.


“I said I wouldn’t hurt them, and I didn’t” he grumbled.


“But you took your sweet time about it. And you still rely too much on your upper body.” The cook leaned over Jynx and felt her pulse, she must have been fine because Sanji smiled up condescendingly and lit a cigarette.


“I’m a swordsman!”


“Not the point. You need to be versatile if you’re going to be the best.” The cook checked the boy as well, his long fingers lingering just a little too long on the elegant pale neck.


How he could just chat away like nothing had even happened was beyond Zoro. His powers of denial bordered on superhuman. The swordsman just waited. He could hear Sanji’s mind scheming even from where he was. He had an evil plan already. Baka had been hanging around the sea witch too damn long.


The blonde smiled wickedly.


What now?!


“Turn around” Sanji said, his lips curling sweetly.


Zoro had never seen him look so entirely innocent. Given the impish grin that had only just faded from his lips, the swordsman felt nervous.


“No” he said simply. Whatever that ero-cook had in mind, it couldn’t be good. He turned to walk back into the forest. Being lost had to be better than this.


“Oh yes” said Sanji, his voice dripping honey; Zoro swore he could hear the grin slowly spreading across his features, “you owe me, remember?”


“No” said the swordsman again. He didn’t remember owing the blonde shit.


“You said that if I win, then I could be in charge for a night. I won, marimo.”


Zoro stopped walking and glared at the blonde.


“That was only for that night.”


“You backing out?”


“You didn’t win.” It had been a draw at best!


“You and I both know that’s not true” Sanji smirked around his cigarette.


“It’s not even night!”


“You want to wait and see what else I can think of between now and night time?” Sanji’s eyes twinkled with glee.


Zoro glared his best glare and took a deep breath to suppress the rising rage.


“OK. WHAT?” he asked; very loudly.


“Put your arms behind you…” the cook wriggled out of his belt and wrapped the leather around Zoro’s wrists, which were suddenly secured behind him. The swordsman sighed. He dimly remembered that a guy in a bar had warned him about women like this.


Pity he never listened to anyone.


Now, not only was he stuck on a desert island, but he had nothing but two unconscious pervert siblings, and a very conscious pervert cook for company.


“Don’t stare at me like that,” the blonde chuckled to himself as he tightened the belt, “this is training. Just think of what I could be doing to you!”


Baka-cook. That was the damn problem.


The monkey was going to pay for this.


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