The Annals of Fear

Deontic leaned up against the kitchen window, watching the shadows that had to be Mello and Century, climbing the mountain slope above the house. Anxiety piqued, as she imagined what Hal or Chrissie would have to say about her allowing Century to go off with Mello now. She ran the whole conversation back through her mind, trying to ascertain whether Century had secretly appealed for help. He had seemed not to, even when Mello had said he was going with him. They were out of view now, not even black shapes in the moonlight. She couldn\'t discern anything that far up. Behind her the steady click click of Matt\'s fingers on her own laptop\'s keyboard was the only sound in the house. She silently acknowledged that she was terrified, then bundled that emotion up deep inside and stashed it away. It was not helpful.



Seizing the moment, she span around and spoke in one sequence. "How did you bruise your jaw?"



Between a long, thick, red fringe and those orange goggles, only the lower part of Matt\'s face was visible. It grinned at the laptop. "Because Mello and I had very heated sex the night before we arrived here and bruises are an occupational hazard of that."



Deontic blushed deeply. "Right." She had a lot more to say, but her lips wouldn\'t form around the words.



Matt sat back in his seat, one finger tapping languidly on the mouse touchpad. "There, that works now. You just had some obsolete code inteferring with the dynamic recall." He turned his head in her direction, but Deontic wasn\'t stupid enough to think that he hadn\'t been watching her all along. He was just making it obvious now. "Opportunist question?"



"Go on."



"No, your question to me." Matt stated bluntly. "Or is this the latest round of Watari trying to interfere between Mello and I?"



"Do you feel safe with him?"



Matt smirked. Then he laughed at her. It sounded mocking rather than bitter. "They always send you into the lion\'s den, don\'t they? It was you in the frame that day in the infirmary as well." He shook out another cigarette from the packet and lit it. "Poor Pek Wan."



"Every time I see you, you\'re injured. You had a nasty bruise on your back when we had the meeting at Wammy\'s House, about its future." Deontic tried to convey warmth and reassurance. She wasn\'t very good at it. "It is a crime for Watari to worry about you?"



Matt stared at her. "Mello likes you, you know."



Deontic stiffened, so not to show how startled she was by that statement. "How can you say that after all he\'s said to me tonight?"



"He\'s left you alone with me." Matt stated calmly. "Trust doesn\'t come easily to Mello. He\'s entrusted you with me."



Deontic wasn\'t sure what to make of this. "Is Century safe with him?"



Matt took a deep drag of his cigarette before answering. The delay made Deontic nervous. "Yes." There was a sidewards glance. She caught it as a faint glimmer of green between two locks of hair. "Why? Did you think that he was taking him onto the mountainside to execute him?"



Deontic turned back to the window, her stomach turning. She didn\'t know what to say.



Matt chuckled. "The really insulting thing is that Hal, and Roger before her, consider me to be so helpless. Do you think I couldn\'t smother him in his sleep if it came to it?"



"Do you want the truth?" Deontic debated the wisdom of this even as the words were coming out of her mouth, but intrigue came too easily to Mello and Matt. She felt foolish even thinking that she and Hal could out-manoeuvre them. Besides, Matt was the safer option. He hadn\'t responded. She filled the silence with more words. "Roger told Hal that both of you, you and Mello, have psychological problems. There is still concern that he overwhelms you, Matt. There is even more concern that the pair of you aren\'t getting the help that you deserve, because of Mello\'s pride. Mello, himself, told Hal that you\'re unstable." She waited but there was no reaction. Deontic turned to find Matt seemingly occupied by something on the laptop. She had known him too long to be fooled by that. "The trouble is that there\'s no data. Well, there is, but bits and drabs. Most of data recorded on you emerged under trying circumstances. I know he cares deeply for you, Matt. I was there when you were abducted. I saw how he was."



"Then why do you still buy into the drama queen?"



Deontic blinked. "Pardon?"



"Stop looking at me and trying to determine what I\'m hiding." Matt told the monitor. "Start looking at Mello and what he\'s continually trying to tell you." He flicked ash into the ashtray. "There were fifteen of us. Five are now dead. If you\'re blaming Mello for Lamond, then every one of those five were killed by one of the fourth generation. Yet Mello\'s left me alone with one. What does that say to you?"



"I don\'t know." Deontic swallowed. "That he trusts me?"



"Someone as paranoid as Mello?"



She sighed, turning back to the window. She was really worried about Century now. Her mind kept throwing up images of a gun to his head up there in the darkness. "Matt, just tell me. What is he saying to me?"



Matt looked so smug, when Deontic glanced back at him. It made her feel small. Unworthy. He waited ages before replying and, when he did, it was another riddle. "What he\'s always been trying to say. Right since we were tiny and you were all prostrating yourself in worship of Near."



Deontic frowned. "I have never..."



"Crowding around Near, gushing over his marks, trying to integrate yourselves so that, when he became L, you wouldn\'t just be cast onto a scrap heap somewhere." Matt jabbed the laptop decisively and moved around to inspect all of the others. "Where was Mello then?"



Deontic tried to think. Her mind was too full of the dire imaginings up on that slope above them. "I don\'t recall."



"Precisely." Matt stated with finality. He sat down in his original seat and took out a PSP. Game music rose from it.



"He wants to be noticed." Deontic ventured.



"Always."



"But that isn\'t it?" It occurred to her that she had been side-tracked. They were talking about Mello as an obnoxious teenager, not the situation at hand. She batted it back. "You regressed." She watched him and he didn\'t move. His entire attention was on the game, as if she wasn\'t even there anymore. "You\'ve said more in the past ten minutes than you have since I got here. Same in Greece. Why can you only speak freely when Mello isn\'t here?" No reply, just that annoying incessant clicking of his fingers on the controls. "You know what I see when I look at you? Not this. Not even as you were leading the good fight against the system last year. I remember you breaking after Mello left Wammy\'s House. I remember thinking, he has got emotions! I felt so sorry for you."



"He is paranoid. He\'s paranoid as Hell. He did not want to leave me with you nor in this house."



"Then why did he?"



Matt took the cigarette from his mouth and stubbed it out in the ashtray. "Because I asked him to."



Deontic frowned, confused, "Why did you?"



"You\'re missing the point." Matt peered up from his game. "I asked him to do something that he really did not want to do and Mello," Matt paused for emphasis, "did it. What does that tell you, Deontic?"



They heard distant voices out on the bank, coming closer. Deontic turned back to the window. She could just make out their silouettes, Century tall and slightly stooping; Mello shorter, but drawn up to his full height, confident in his gait. She watched them disappear again behind the old stables, then emerge in the yard behind the two cars. Mello stopped to point upwards, then they both turned to inspect the cobblestones. Deontic gritted her teeth. "You\'re not scared to ask things of Mello. You\'re not intimidated by him."



Matt snorted and rose from his seat, as Mello led the way through the back-door and into the kitchen. Mello gave him a long, searching look before pulling Matt closer for a kiss. Deontic watched them do it, her mind sifting through Matt\'s hints for a solution to the puzzle of them. Then Century was moving past them, blocking her vision. "Brrr!" He exclaimed. "Fucking freezing, is it? I thought they said we were in for thunderstorms. Not even muggy out there, just really cold for August." He rounded onto the kettle. "Roberts\'s house in darkness, so we didn\'t knock. Get them tomorrow. Anything happened here?"



She shook her head mutely, still watching the couple by the door. She couldn\'t shake the feeling that she had somehow been set up or else she had lost in some great, almighty test. The feeling grew stronger as she saw Mello smirk. Then Matt turned his head and his smile seemed distinctly malicious.