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Out of and into Love	By : Catalinalunamoon Category: Gravitation > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1542 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own...owned by maki murakami...see full disclaimer

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It was dark out as Shuichi looked around. Why was he in the park? He began to walk, pondering this. How did he get here? Then he saw a familiar silhouette. He began to run toward the man, arm extended reaching for him. “Yuki! Yuki! Wait!” The figure looked at him then turned and disappeared. Shuichi stopped moving and dropped to the ground. Abruptly, he was no longer in the park but in NG Studios. He saw Ryuichi walking down the hallway toward him. Something was off though, he did not have his usual smile on his face when he looked at Shuichi. He opened his mouth to call out to Ryuichi but nothing came out. Shuichi grabbed his throat, wondering why his vocal cords were not responding. As Ryuichi drew nearer to him, a glower came on to his face. He stopped when he was face to face with the silent pink-haired man.

“You are nothing more than a copy cat. Why did I ever get on that stage with you? Why should I want you? Go away, shadow, for that is all you are.” Ryuichi’s voice came out cold. It was colder than it had ever been when he spoke to Shuichi. Not even during the competition between the bands, had he ever been so cruel! Ryuichi turned to walk away, as Shuichi reached to grab hold of him. His hand passed through air, as though he really was a shadow. His eyes began to fill with tears, as he turned to look for Hiro. He would still care about him! Hiroshi appeared suddenly at the mere thought. His eyes were cold as he held up a poster of Shuichi, the word SELFISH written across his face. Then there was nothing, no place, nobody except that eerie laugh of Seguchi. He tried to run away from the sound but it was all around him.

“You are nothing, Shindou-san. A vapor, a shadow, a nobody!” These words taunted Shuichi as he ran through the never-ending nothingness that surrounded him. Suddenly the ground opened up underneath him, swallowing him up. He screamed as he fell into darkness. Waking, he was still screaming, but he was not alone. Ryuichi was cradling him and Hiro was tugging on his arm.

“Wake up, Shu! Please! You are scaring Ryuichi and I,” came Hiro’s panicked voice through the haze and screams. Shuichi stopped screaming but he was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. “Hush, Shu. It is ok, we are here with you.” Hiro’s voice had calmed but his fear still showed on his face. “Take deep breaths. You need to calm yourself.” Following the instructions, Shuichi began to take deep calming breaths. After a few minutes of this, his shaking began to subside. It was then that he felt the shaking coming from the surrounding arms. He turned his head to look at Ryuichi and was stunned at the look on his face. There were tears and utter terror on his face. That beautiful face should never have that look on it! Shuichi reached up a hand to place it on Ryuichi’s cheek, trying to calm him, but all it did was break loose the sobs the older man had held back. Shuichi tried to pull away, only to have those arms tighten almost painfully around him. Shuichi wrapped his arms around Ryuichi, trying to comfort him. “Can you tell us? What was it about?” Hiro asked. Shuichi’s eyes filled as he began relaying the dream to Hiro. His voice was dry as dust and as brittle as an icicle. The screaming had made his throat sore. Ryuichi began to cry harder, when Shuichi reached the point of the dream that concerned him. Hiro’s face was pained as Shuichi finished telling the whole nightmare. “Shu,” here his voice cracked, but before he could continue, Ryuichi spoke up in a hushed tone.

“The dream was wrong. You are everything. Hiro and I love you and will not turn our backs on you. We are here for you.” He paused then continued on. “Is that how you felt? That time in the hall, when you lost your voice? I did not think that or want you to feel that. I just wanted you to get your sparkle back. I am sorry if that is how you felt.” The tears were falling again. “Even then, I loved you. It pained me to see you hurting because of Yuki-san. I hated that he had found you first, but I knew he was the source of your sparkle at the time. That was the reasoning behind my behavior to you. That was all. I am so sorry, Shu.” Before he could speak in response, Hiro found his voice again.

“Same when I threatened to leave Bad Luck. I never meant to hurt you. I honestly felt I was not needed any longer. I have never felt you were selfish on important things, ever. Maybe, with your pocky and insignificant things but never with yourself or heart. Your emotions, your heart, yourself, you have always put out there. You think of others before you. You are my best friend and closer to me than my own brother. I will not abandon you.” After a brief silence, Hiro spoke again. “Yuki left because he knew what you did not. He was never destined to be your forever. Yes, you love him, but even he could see where your heart was destined to harbor.” Shuichi looked puzzled at Hiro’s words but he did not elaborate any further than one final sentence. “It is for you to find the truth in your heart now.” He stood up, looked at the clock and said, “I am going to go back to sleep for a few hours. When we get up later, we can discuss if we go back to work today or tomorrow. Get rest, Shu. Remember, you are loved.” With that, Hiro walked out of the room. After a moment, Ryuichi stood as well, picking up Shuichi in the process. He walked out of the room and into his own. He placed Shuichi tenderly on the bed and sat down beside him.

“Please, stay in here with me for the rest of the night, Shu. We do not have to talk, but I was so frightened when I woke to your screams. Let me hold you, let me keep the dreams away. Hold me, so I do not feel this fear.” His hand was stroking from the pink hair down Shuichi’s back. Shuichi nodded and crawled up to the mountain of pillows. He crawled under the comforter and waited. Ryuichi joined him, and Shuichi snuggled up to him. Ryuichi wrapped his arms around Shu and he sighed.

“I am sorry for scaring you, Ryu. I just felt so alone and unwanted in the dream.”

“Remember what I said in the studio?” He searched Shuichi’s face and was graced with a blush. “I meant every word I said. You will come to trust me and yourself. Now let us rest.” He placed a kiss on that soft hair. Shuichi gave a contented sigh and appeared to fall asleep. Ryuichi lay there, holding the younger man and thought. He thought about everything that had transpired in the past month, starting with the call from Yuki. He thought about the dream Shu had had, causing him to tighten his grip on the sleeping singer. Shuichi nuzzled in closer and his arms held Ryuichi tight. Then a soft whisper came from those lips.

“I love you, Ryuichi.” Shuichi had said it again!

“If only you were awake and saying that Shu-chan.” Ryuichi spoke in the barest whisper as he turned his eyes to his love, only to see the eyes were open! “Shu? Did I wake you?” Shuichi shook his head and slid up so that he was facing Ryuichi directly face to face.

“That is what my heart is telling me, Ryu. That I love you.” He blushed then continued on. “My heart has always sung for you, even when I was unaware of it. I know that right now I am a mess.” He stopped Ryuichi’s protest with a hand to the mouth. “I am not looking at you as a rebound. I was thinking, not sleeping. Hiro was right. My heart has always had a place that not even Yuki could fill. What I feel or felt for him pales in comparison to what I feel for and around you. I was overwhelmed earlier, when we were talking. I did not understand what I was feeling. It was all a jumble of confusing emotions.” He lay a soft, chaste kiss on Ryuichi’s lips. “I know that I need to explore everything more, but one thing I am certain of. I am certain of you. I love you and want you to stay by my side. I want to stay by yours. With you, I do not feel overpowered, overwhelmed yes, but not overpowered. I feel that we are equals, that we are right! With Yuki, everything was too much, too high powered. I felt like I was climbing a mountain, never getting any closer to the peak. With you, I am climbing and you have your hand outstretched, reaching for me.” Ryuichi lay there stunned, but happy. The tears were in his eyes, he ached to hold his love, but his arms would not move. Shuichi lay down on the stunned older man, and snuggled into him. “Just hold me, please. I want, no, need to feel the realness of your arms. Your love shows its self in words, actions, looks, everything.” Ryuichi’s arms came around him and they both sighed. They fell asleep like that, smiles on both of their faces.

A/N sorry it is short but this was pulling at me to be put out there. There is trouble brewing on the horizon...do not forget about Tohma.
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Out of and into Love