The Key to My Heart

Title: The Key to My Heart: Chapter 17
Author: JadeHeart
Archived: Found on gurabiteshiyon.net. If anyone else would like it, please ask me first!
Fandom: Gravitation
Rating: R
Warnings: angst
Timeline: After the anime/manga finishes.
Characters: Yuki/Shuichi
Feedback: Feedback is always welcome! If I don’t get feedback, I don’t want to continue!
Summary: Just how far would Yuki go in search of Shuichi?

Author’s Notes : A big welcome to any new readers picking up this story, and as always a big thank you to my regular readers! The encouragement is always appreciated, and any thoughts and constructive criticisms/corrections are also noted and considered carefully. I still have no idea where this story is taking me so we’ll just have to see!

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, they belong to the creators of ‘Gravitation’ , nor am I making any profits from this.


The Key to My Heart: Chapter 17


Yuki stood where he was, waiting, as Shuichi ran towards him. The boy stopped in front of him, leaning over, hands on knees, head down, panting hard.

“Sorry…” Shuichi breathed heavily. He lifted his head, smiling broadly, eyes lit with energy. The sight of those large violet eyes looking up at him, caught Yuki completely off guard.

“Sorry I’m late.” pant, pant. “I got caught up at the club.” pant, pant. “I didn’t know if you’d still be here. Sorry.”

“No problem.” Yuki said, reaching automatically for a cigarette. His hands were shaking. Shuichi was here! Finally, he would be able to talk with him!

“Great!” Shuichi straightened, still smiling brightly. “Well, I need a drink! You want one?”

“Sure.” Yuki followed Shuichi over to the café. They sat at one of the first tables they came to, close to the entrance.

“It’s so beautiful here! I just love it!” Shuichi said, gazing out at the night with a fond expression on his face. Yuki could remember seeing that same look on the boy’s face when he would stand in the park back in Tokyo and look out over the city lights.

Yuki took this moment to look at Shuichi more closely now. The previous night he had only seen the boy from a distance at first. Then when they had spoken briefly, they had done so on a darkened street with little illumination.

Now was the first opportunity Yuki had to truly look at Shuichi, to take in everything about him. He still could hardly believe that he was sitting opposite him, that it was really him. Yuki so desperately wanted to reach out and just touch the boy. To reassure himself that he wasn’t dreaming, that Shuichi was real, but he didn’t dare.

He gazed at the boy sitting before him. Shuichi was wearing his hair cut very short, close to his head at the sides and front, just a few wispy strands forming a fringe. It accentuated the features of his face, made them seem thinner, more mature. The hair at the back was quite a bit longer, brushing past the collar of his shirt.

As Shuichi shifted in his chair, Yuki saw him reach up and brush his hair back from where it had tangled in his collar. It was then that he saw the signs of scarring, running down the side of the boy’s neck. How far it went, Yuki didn’t know.

There was also something else about Shuichi’s face that Yuki had noticed. As the lights inside the café, struck the right side of the boy’s face, Yuki could see the cheek bone on that side was a little more prominent that the other. It was something that most people wouldn’t even notice. Only those that had known Shuichi before, might see it. Or those that had spent long hours memorizing every detail of his face. Like Yuki.

Yuki could remember the list of injuries the doctor had told them that Shuichi had received, but he had pushed those thoughts away, not wanting to think about the pain and suffering that the boy must have gone through. Gone through alone, because Yuki hadn’t been there with him. He had already noticed that as Shuichi had been running towards him, that he had moved with a slight limp, just a slight change in his balance. Another sign of what Shuichi had lived through. His hands clenched.

“Are you okay?” he asked suddenly.

“Huh?” Shuichi looked confused, caught off guard by the question.

“Your injuries.” Yuki didn’t know how else to put it.

“Oh, those.” Shuichi brushed Yuki’s concern away. “Yeah, it’s all okay. The leg hurts a bit still, especially if I run hard. Don’t worry about the limp. The doctors said that with time and exercise it should be fine after a while.”

The airy way Shuichi waved away concerns for his well being was so familiar to Yuki. In many ways it would appear that Shuichi hadn’t changed at all, but to him, it seemed like the boy was almost a completely different person. The physical changes, however slight, altered him in subtle ways. The mental and emotional changes, they would hold much greater ramifications. Already, Yuki could see this had obviously made further changes in Shuichi. He was so much calmer, more withdrawn or focused inwards, than he previously had been. Yuki didn’t know which Shuichi he liked, or wanted.

They both ordered coffee, with Shuichi also asking for a slice of cake.

“Sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

Yuki shook his head.

“I’m usually starved after work! Hope you don’t mind?”

“No, that’s fine.”

“Okay.”

Shuichi then leant back in his chair, looking over at Yuki seriously. “I don’t really know what to say to you.” he said quietly.

Yuki remained silent.

“I mean, here you suddenly are! A person I meet in a dark street in the middle of the night, and who, out of the blue, tells me they knew me before the crash and can tell me about my missing memories. It’s a little…disconcerting.”

Shuichi really didn’t seem that worried by it to Yuki.

“So,” Shuichi leant forward, elbows on the table, chin resting on his raised hand, eyes fixed on Yuki’s face. “Who am I?”

Yuki rested his cigarette on the ashtray. “Your name’s Shuichi Shindou.” he began quietly.

“Shuichi Shindou.” Shuichi said almost to himself, eyes turning inwards. He suddenly smiled. “It doesn’t sound as cool as my name!”

Yuki winced at his words. Shuichi still thought of ‘his name’ as being what he was calling himself at present.

“What name do you have?”

“Oh, Shu. Shu Chan.”

So he had even given himself a surname. “How did you come up with that?”

Shuichi laughed, full and carefree, leaning back again. He sounds so much like himself, Yuki thought, I remember that laugh.

“I saw a whole heap of Jackie Chan movies whilst I was stuck in hospital. There must have been some sort of marathon going because I think they must have played every film he had ever been in, and at least twice! I really liked them! I thought he was so cool, and really funny! So I just took his last name. I couldn’t remember my own, and I needed one. They didn’t seem to like just calling me ‘Shu’, and I thought they sounded good together - Shu Chan! It’s not every day you can name yourself!” Shuichi smiled broadly. He appeared quite pleased with his inventiveness.

“And that girl?” Yuki said, lighting another cigarette. “Last night.”

“Oh, you mean Annette! Yeah, she’s my girlfriend.”

Yuki kept his face schooled into an expression of polite interest only, letting none of his inner turmoil and jealousy boil to the surface.
“Is she Japanese?”

“Actually, her dad’s French-Canadian, but her mother is Japanese. That’s where she gets her looks from. Her grandparents still speak Japanese, even though they live over here now, so she was taught a bit of the language by them.”

“Her grasp of the language is very good.”

“Well, since she already knew some of it from home, she carried it on through school as a second language. She wants to be an interpreter for the UN, which means the more languages she’s proficient in the better. She already knew French and English, so she’s continued with Japanese though University, as well as Spanish.”

“How did you meet her?”

“I met her actually in Boston. She was there for on a study break with a few of her friends. They’re all in the same classes, so most of them were also studying Japanese. Suddenly I found a whole group of people I could talk to – it was great! We’d all gone on the re-enactment of the Boston Tea Party. Have you seen it? You really should! It was fun, though I spent more time talking to Annette, than listening to the history!”

Their coffee and cake arrived and Shuichi immediately tucked into the food, taking a big bite of the chocolate cake and smearing whipped cream over his upper lip. Yuki had to stop himself from leaning over to lick that frothy moustache away.

Shuichi swallowed and continued his story.

“Annette and her friends came and saw us play in Boston whilst they were there, so we got to know each other a little then, and during the day we sort of hung out together. I told her where we would be playing here in Quebec City and asked if she would come listen to us again. I didn’t think she would. I hoped, but I really didn’t believe she would.”

Another big bite of cake, washed down by a gulp of coffee.

“Then on that first night we were here, I saw her up the back, watching us. I almost forgot the lyrics! For some reason, it gave me a real strong sense of de ja vu. Don’t know why.”

I do, thought Yuki. It was like the first time I went and watched you play.

Shuichi carried on. “We started seeing more of each other then. She was just looking at getting a place of her own and couldn’t afford much alone. None of her other friends wanted to move out, but I had decided I wanted to stick around for awhile, and had already got a couple of jobs, so we decided to get a place together. It’s really nice, you know. We’ve even been talking about getting a cat, though she also wants a bird. I, personally, would be quite happy with a goldfish!”

Yuki’s heart was hurting him. It felt like someone was slowly cutting it into tiny pieces. Every happy sentence Shuichi uttered, was like a knife slicing another portion of his soul away. This picture of domesticity, of looking for a home together, decorating together, getting a pet together. Everything…together. Shuichi and Annette… together.

And Yuki was alone.

It was tearing him apart.

“Anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing here. So, what did I use to do? I mean, back in Japan.”

Yuki collected his thoughts quickly, taking a sip of his cooling coffee to give him a moment. How much did he need to tell Shuichi right now?

“You’re the lead singer of a band.” he said.

Shuichi’s eyes widened. “Hey, cool! Really?”

“Yes.”

“What’s the band called?”

“Bad Luck.”

“Wow! Though with a name like that, I guess we suck!”

“Actually, you are one of the biggest bands at the moment in Japan.”

“Whaaat?!!” Shuichi’s voice rose almost an octave in his astonishment.

Now that, thought Yuki, sounded just like the Shuichi he used to know.

“You’ve got to be kidding me?!”

Yuki shook his head. “Not at all. Bad Luck is on the top of the charts.”

“Double wow! And I’m really the lead singer?”

Yuki nodded. “Yeah.”

“Wow!” That seemed to be all that Shuichi could get out at the moment. “So, who else is in the band?”

“Two others, a guitarist and a keyboardist.”

“Hey, that’s what I’ve been playing with on this trip here! ‘Rattlegun’ had the same combo! That is so cool!”

“Yes, it did seem like quite a coincidence.”

“So, these two in the band? Who are they? How do I know them?”

“The guitarist’s name is Hiroshi Nakano. He’s actually your best friend. You’ve known him since school, and that’s where you started the band originally.”

“Hiroshi.” Shuichi mused, then shook his head with a small shrug. “Sorry, can’t recall him.”

That’s harsh, Yuki thought. Imagine Shuichi not remembering anything about Hiro, after all his friend had been through with him.

“What about the keyboardist?”

“His name’s Suguru Fujisaki. He joined ‘Bad Luck’ after you were signed up by NG productions.”

“So we really do have a label?”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Wow!” Shuichi played with the last portion of his cake on his plate, his eyes almost glazed with wonder at these startling revelations.

Suddenly, his eyes focused back on Yuki again. “So who are you? How do I know you?”

“I’m….” Yuki stopped. His voice couldn’t continue. He couldn’t tell Shuichi that he was his lover. He just couldn’t. He couldn’t bear to tell him that, only to have Shuichi say he didn’t remember, that he felt nothing. Or worse, fled Yuki completely.

“I’m a….friend. My brother-in-law is the president of NG, so I know you and ‘Bad Luck’.”

“Oh, guess that’s why you know so much about it all, and me.”

“There’s a lot of people worried about you back home, you know. Your family has been frantic. Can you remember anything about them, about your younger sister?”

Shuichi thought for a moment, then shook his head. “Sorry, not a thing.” He grimaced. “I know that must sound just so bad, and I’m sorry if I’ve made people worry, but I really just don’t remember them.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like it was your fault. Is it alright if I contact them and tell them that I’ve found you here?”

Shuichi thought about this for a long time, a frown creasing his forehead. “I ….don’t know. I guess you should, shouldn’t you? It’s just a little….overwhelming right now. I suddenly have a family, a little sister, a band, a best friend, and all these other people, and not one of them I can remember! Doesn’t really make me feel that good about myself.”

Don’t push him, Yuki thought to himself. Don’t push too hard or you’ll drive him away. Back off a little. “Do you want to think about it, and let me know tomorrow?” he said, trying to sound calm

Shuichi lifted his head and looked Yuki fully in the face. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I need a little time with this. I….don’t think I could handle anything more just now.”

Yuki nodded. “Alright. Call me tomorrow. I’ll have to tell them soon, and they’ll probably want to come here to see you. I know it will be a lot to deal with, but they really have missed you. They hadn’t given up hope.”

I didn’t give up, Yuki thought. Ever.

Shuichi nodded agreement. “I know, but I just don’t remember anything about them. If I’m so famous with this band, how come I don’t remember anything about it?!”

Yuki stood and reached into his coat pocket. Silently he pulled out the object there, and placed it on the table. He pushed it towards Shuichi.

“Here.” he said gruffly, removing his hand. “This is yours.”

Shuichi looked down at the ipod laying there. He looked up at Yuki, straining his head back to see the taller man who seemed to tower over his seated form. Yuki just stared down at him, his face completely expressionless.

“Listen to it, then call me.”

Shuichi reached out slowly and picked up the ipod. Yuki turned away quickly, so the boy wouldn’t see the tears in his eyes. “I’ll talk to you later.” and he walked away.

Shuichi watched him disappear into the darkness and felt a stab of loss. The feeling surprised him. Why? He stared at the spot Yuki had vanished from his view. Guess he was just sorry to see a person go who said they knew him.

He stood and slipped the ipod into his pocket. He had better get home, it was pretty late. He hoped Annette hadn’t worried about him.