To Turn the Other Cheek

It was eleven o’clock when Yuri decided to follow the footman to his assigned quarters. By twelve, he was changed and lying in bed, staring at the ceiling while thoughts ran across his mind. At two, he stood in front of the door to Wolfram’s bedroom and knocked quietly on the polished woodgrain.

He stood there and waited, quite sure he’d probably woken his friend. There was a slight rustle of cloth on the other side and a long silent pause as lamplights were lit before Yuri knocked again, as though confirming to the other than it had not been his imagination.

“It’s me,” he whispered hoarsely, afraid someone might here.

It seemed Wolfram had flown to the door at that. It opened so fast the hinges hardly had time to creak before the blonde’s face peeked out with fire in his eyes. “You rotten cheater, what do you think you’re doing? Do you have any idea what time it is? What if someone sees you?”

Yuri smiled. “If you let me in, there’s less chance of someone seeing.”

Wolfram’s green eyes pierced into him for a moment. Before Yuri could react, the blonde took a handful of his blue pajamas and pulled him inside the room, quickly closing the door behind him.

“Only you would be so stupid as to visit a strange woman’s room at this hour.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Yuri began to explain.

“So you decide to wake me up to tell me this?” Annoyance dripped from his words as Wolfram marched back to his bed to sit. He crossed his legs under him and continued to glair, the end of his nightgown pushed up past his knees.

It was a little distracting. “Uh...well, I hoped you were still awake. I need your advice.”

“My advice? Why not Gunter’s or Conrad’s?”

Yuri shook his head. “It’s about Frederick. I think I offended him somehow.” He plopped down on the bed beside Wolfram and leaned back on his elbows. “You know him pretty well, don’t you?”

Wolfram nodded, not bothering to turn so they could face each other. “You must have been a real blockhead to have offended him. He’s not easily antagonized.”

“That’s the thing, though. We were getting along great at first and then suddenly it was like he hated me. You know me better than anyone, Wolfram. If I make someone mad at me, usually I’ve got some idea as to why. Gunter didn’t say anything about my etiquette, so I don’t think I messed up with the formalities.” The king sighed. “Is Frederick the kind of guy who overreacts and broods over nothing or did I screw up somewhere?”

“You screwed up.”

Yuri winced. “How can you say that and sound so sure?”

“Because Frederick is the most forgiving, understanding and compassionate man I have ever met and he wouldn’t fault you unless you had made a grave error.”

There it was again. A quickening of his pulse, a sort of sick feeling in his gut like he’d eaten too much or run too hard.

“Oh. Well...that does sound more like the person Emily described to me.” Yuri swallowed hard, trying to push down the sick feeling. “You know, the way the two of you talk about each other, you’d think you were in love.”

He waited for the growl of anger that would remind him that he was the only one in the mazoku’s heart. Maybe this time he’d get hit with the pillow or Wolfram would simply turn his head to the side to dismiss such a silly thing as below him to answer. The silence, however, that grew in the space of their pause seemed to beg to answer in his stead. It teased Yuri’s senses, played on his fears.

The king sat up, his hand coming to rest on his nearest shoulder. “Wolfram?”

“It’s none of your business, Yuri.”

Yuri sat bewildered. “Oh...alright.”

“I’ve already talked to him about you once. I’ll do it again, though.” Wolfram gave the faintest of smiles as he looked down at his lap. “It’s beyond your control if you’re kind of slow to catch on, easily flustered and not all that bright when it comes to dealing with nobility. Maybe he’s forgotten I warned him about your shortcomings.”

Yuri wrapped both arms around the blonde and pulled him down to the mattress with him.

“What are you doing?” Wolfram snapped, kicking his legs wildly to try and propel himself back up into a sitting position. “Absolutely not!”

“It’s not what it looks like, I swear.” Yuri loosened his grip slightly, still holding on enough to keep his friend beside him.

Wolfram glared at him again, not at all amused.

He really was cute when he was pissed. Yuri almost felt bad for enjoying making him squirm. “I just wanted you to look at me when we’re talking.”

“I can look at you quite easily sitting up.”

“But you weren’t.”

Wolfram made a face but did not respond.

His body now resigned, if not relaxed, Yuri slid his arms away from him, letting his hand drag across his lean body before propping his head up on his palm and looking down at the blonde prince. “Do you really mean that, though? You wouldn’t? Last time I spoke to you, you made it sound like that was the only thing you wanted from me anymore.”

Wolfram turned his face away, but Yuri forced it back with a gentle touch to his cheek. He had a very vulnerable looking face, the king thought. The large, green eyes never lied, no matter how much the tongue did.

“I wasn’t thinking very clearly. I may have accepted the engagement was off, but I wasn’t ready to let you go yet.” Wolfram was obviously trying to look angry at him still. It seemed to be his safe emotion. It was safe to be mad; there was no shame in being angered by something. “You’re wrong if you thought that was all I wanted from you, though. It was just the least I could imagine accepting.”

“Friendship wasn’t enough?”

“You have enough friends.”

That was certainly true. Yuri hadn’t ever been very popular in school. He was average in every way you looked at in. Intelligence, looks, height, strength--he didn’t stand out from the crowd at all. In Shin Makoku, though, he was a king. Even the people who hated him showed him respect in light of past events. Almost everyone wanted to meet him, those that had wanted to be close to him, and those already close seemed very content to stay near to his side.

“I have a lot of friends who tell me what I want to hear and a few friends who tell me what I need to hear.” Yuri stroked the soft skin of the mazoku’s cheek with his thumb. “I only have one Wolfram. You’re the only person who feels compelled to tease me constantly and drive me up the walls and go places with me just for fun, not as my guardian.”

Wolfram smacked his hand away. “You hated going places with me! You always complained or acted like you were burdened by my presence!”

“Well, you always had to hang on me and scare people away.”

“Because you were never faithful!”

“I never cheated on you.”

“I said you were never faithful!” Wolfram’s face was pinched with fury again. “There’s a difference. Whether you were off kissing girls behind my back or not, you wanted to. Given the opportunity, you would have. I knew that. You knew that. So why do you bother arguing the point?”

“I’m not going to. It’s over now.”

Wolfram gave another nod and Yuri’s heart went out to him. There was still pain in the memories. Maybe there always would be.

“You did the right thing. I’m sorry I made it more difficult for all of us. Now you have what you want and at least you’re not sleeping in my bed while you’re kissing her.”

“You really mean that?” Yuri looked at his friend in surprise, not sure he’d heard him correctly.

“I’m not a gracious loser, Yuri. I have many poor qualities and they include that, as well as stubbornness, selfishness and greed. So do not expect me to say this more than once.” Wolfram sat up but continued to look back at Yuri’s face. “You were right. Things as they were were never going to work. Apparently it is a great misfortune I was born a man, but I can hardly regret that. I’m proud to be a man. You had no love for me and what trust I had in you only extended as far as I could see you, so I am very happy that you are getting to experience love and wanting from the women you desire and that you had the guts to say to my face for once, flat out, that I could never be what you wanted. That I couldn’t see what was best for myself or care enough about myself to think about anything but what I was losing--that’s my own fault. I had sex with you so that I could take a piece of you with me the way you took a chunk out of me. That was wrong of me. I took your virginity out of spite, and gave you mine out of desperation so we could add pettiness to my list of flaws, as well. And it hurts, Yuri. I want to be a better man but I lose the ground I gain when I corner myself, and there’s no one I can blame but me. But I’m not just hurting myself when I do these things, I’m hurting you, too. So I am sorry. I’m very sorry for blaming you for breaking my heart. You didn’t ask for me to love you and you certainly didn’t give me many reasons too. So I can’t explain it and the pain doesn’t go away, it just sort of stops following so close. Because even if I invented the whole romance in my mind, even if I thought you were just pretending like I was, that it was sort of our duty whether we liked it or not to be married, even if.... Yuri, no one else had ever made me feel so good about being myself.”

Yuri sat through the confession with a growing unease. His body felt cold and numb. How could he, having been guilty of so many wrongs against him, have made Wolfram feel anything but sadness? “I...did?”

Wolfram nodded and turned his face away, for which Yuri was thankful. There was enough honesty in the room without his intense, watery stare. “No one dared discipline me or tell me I was childish before you came. No one ever even had time for me. Conrad and my brother are both very busy people. Mother was the Maou and was either busy too or gone, looking for someone to love her. I’m always the one left behind. The faster I try to grow up, the more they stay away, but the longer it takes me, the more they write me off. But you proposed to me the day you met me. You yelled at me and insulted me and you made me fight you in some ridiculous match that landed me flat on my backside and you could have cared less if my honor demanded I lay dying before I lay down arms.”

Wolfram turned to him with a smile on his face that was untouched by sadness. “I guess maybe I do know why I love you.”

Love? Not loved?

“Because you’re a wimp.” Yuri scowled a bit but it only made Wolfram’s smile grow. “You’re a wimp and that makes me stronger. I can be brave when you’re not because someone has to be and I want it to be me. I can become everything you’re not every time you need it, but when I’m just me, by myself, the only good I know how to be is beautiful.”

Yuri pulled on Wolfram’s arm and the blonde lay back on the bed beside him. He wrapped his arms around him, pulling their bodies close enough that their heartbeats roared in their ears and their breath warmed the other's cheeks. It was comfortable and warm, familiar even in a bed that was not their own.

“Did you hear me? Because I’m never saying it again.”

Yuri nodded, hiding his silent tears by cradling his friend’s head under his chin.

“And if you ever tell anyone, I will be forced to kill you.”

The king laughed, perhaps inappropriately. It made him so happy, though, to find normality in such hard times. “I heard you, Wolfram. I won’t tell a soul.”

“Do you forgive me?”

“It’s in the past, Wolfram. No more apologies. I think...we both understand now. That’s the part that lasts. That’s the part that matters in the end. And I don’t hold anything against you.” Yuri felt the other man nuzzle against his neck and sighed contently, running his fingers through the wavy blonde hair. “Everything’ll be okay now. We’re friends now. Friends talk together and take care of each other and that’s what we’re doing. I’m always going to be a wimp, it’s just who I am. So I’m always going to need you.”

“I’m sure Emily will love to hear that.”

Yuri chuckled a bit and pushed Wolfram away enough so his head lay on his shoulder rather than suffocated against his collar. “You were here first. If she doesn’t like it, then she can just...find some other guy to date.”

“She’s not the type to share, Yuri,” Wolfram pointed out.

Yuri rolled his eyes. “Well, she’s quite the hypocrite then.”

Wolfram sat up, leaning over him. “What do you mean by that?”

It sounded silly now that Yuri thought about it. “That is...she always hang out with Conrad or Dorcas or Giesela or Gunter or Greta and...well, when I want to hang out with her, I always have to go and find her. She’s never waiting for me and I guess I should be thankful, since I never know how long it’ll be until I’m done with my work, and at least I know she’s not bored. I’m not used to having to look for someone to spend time with, I guess. I’m more used to trying to find someplace to be alone and I’d gotten really good at it too.”

“You were not. You just hid in your private bath every time.”

“Well...it worked,” Yuri said in his own defense. “That’s not the point, though. I mean...am I being silly to get so annoyed at something like that?”

“Yes.”

“Wolfram.”

“You are an exasperating man, Yuri.” Wolfram flicked him between the eyes. “You’ve got a woman who loves you and all the free space and time to enjoy it you ever complained about wanting. and you’re still finding something to moan about. She’s not sharing your bed is she?”

“Of course she’s not. I’m a gentleman. despite what you may think.” Yuri pouted, thinking about what he had said all the same.

“Have you kissed her?”

“A few times,” he admitted. “I haven’t really tried to get past first base.”

Wolfram looked utterly confused. “Does everything in your life conform to baseball?”

He hadn’t thought about it, but having said it, Yuri had to laugh. “Not everything. It’s Earth slang.”

“So first base is kissing,” Wolfram clarified. “Then is home plate talking?”

“No, it starts with first base. Home plate is...well...you and me, we’d say we hit a couple home runs.”

“Oh.” Wolfram still looked confused but seemed to grasp the gist of it. “So...have you run bases with anyone else?”

Yuri shook his head. “You?”

“Just first base.”

For a moment, Yuri felt he might actually be sick. “Who?” He sat up quickly. “Frederick?”

“And if it was?”

“Well....” It shouldn’t matter, he told himself. It was good that Wolfram was trying to move on. He should be happy. “I just...didn’t really think he was your type.”

“He’s a lot like you, actually, only extremely keen. Which is why you should probably get back to your room now.”

Yuri looked at the clock. It was nearly three thirty in the morning. “Right. Will I see you tomorrow?” He smiled mischievously and bowed slightly. “I mean, will Miss Jennifer be joining the royal party for games and leisurely activities in the morning?”

Wolfram rolled his eyes and kicked Yuri out of the bed. He made a louder thump when he hit the floor than either anticipated. The king rubbed his backside in a cursory way as he stood and showed himself to the door. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to get Frederick alone for a while and talk to him on your behalf.”

Yuri smiled, though something about that still made him queasy. “Thank you, Wolfram.

Wolfram turned his head to the side with a humph of superiority. “Just try not to screw it up anymore than you have. I can’t always be here to bail you out.”

“But I hope you always will be.”

Yuri waved goodnight and left the room, carefully holding the handle down on the door till it aligned with the wall so as not to make too loud a sound. He tiptoed further to his room and did the same with his own door, making hardly a sound as he went.

It wasn’t waking the people who were asleep he should have been worried about though, so much as being seen by those who were awake.