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Fever Dreams	By : sashocirrione Category: Death Note > Yaoi-Male/Male > L/Light Views: 2733 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
CHAPTER 17
Once the decision had been agreed on to let Light dump Misa, L thought it was time to take the next step. There was no reason to wait any longer. The experiment should have made everything ready. L couldn't stop his wild imaginings, the sheer anticipation of what he was about to do for the first time. For a male, penetrating someone else was supposed to be the best kind of pleasure. What would it be like? Would it feel like being inside Light's mouth? Or would it be better? Unlike oral sex, this could be done face-to-face, clasped in each other's arms. That alone should make it feel more like making love, more than the simple stimulation of oral sex.
Light was distracting, even when he was just sitting in a chair, tapping away at his computer keys and not looking in L's direction. L could barely wait until the earliest reasonable time to declare the workday over and go to bed. He watched the clock until that moment arrived, and then immediately took Light upstairs.
The sex can't last much longer. The others will demand that I step down as lead investigator in just one week unless I can prove Light is Kira. And, enough data has now accumulated that it is clear Light has a hallucination. His eyes certainly focus on someone or something that isn't there. With this piece of evidence, there is almost no chance that Light isn't Kira. I should enjoy the physical pleasure while I can.
L wasted no time in getting things started once they reached the bedroom, assembling everything they needed into the bed. As L pushed Light down, he noted that Light seemed almost frightened.
Is this an act? What are you playing at, Kira? Did you plan to make me like this, needing you? If I fail, will you laugh in my face as I die, as the others die around me?
It was horrible, to need sex like this, to need Light like this. But it was undeniable. Every touch of their skin as the clothes were torn away, the looks Light got on his face, the way their bodies responded instinctively to each other on a primal level, it was all too much and L didn't want it to stop. He just wanted to immerse himself fully in the experience, to forget that the probability of Light being Kira was now at least ninety-nine percent. It was awful to need something that was wrong and sick and that wouldn't last regardless. It was just an illusion, a game, and soon it would be forcibly taken away. Either by the fact of Light getting caught, or by death, or by being forced to leave the investigation.
I used to want him to be Kira. Now, I don't want him to be Kira. I've been corrupted, but I will catch him anyway. Kira cannot win, or too many people will die, myself included. Once Light is gone, it will be only a few years of pain, and then I'll be back to normal.
When it was time for insertion, L's mind finally stopped chattering on about those other things. There was only Light's smooth, slender body beneath him, and the anticipation, overwhelming all other thoughts, and the cool feeling of the lubrication he'd just spread on his penis. L positioned himself carefully and began pressing inside.
At once, it was an agony of pleasure, sweet and almost completely out of control, requiring enormous inner strength to keep from having an orgasm. It was exactly like everything that was wrong with their relationship, something that was too good and too horrible at the same time. L had to stop halfway in and concentrate on not losing it. It was simply too much. Sex this way would only last a matter of seconds unless more control was established.
It felt like being trapped. L closed his eyes and breathed carefully, waiting as the surging strength of his almost-orgasm subsided to a barely tolerable level.
Light said, "You don't have to wait. I'm ready."
L was able to move again at that prompting, just barely holding control over his body as he slid inside, and then when he'd entered completely it was suddenly so overwhelming that he had to stop once again. The pressure on every side of his penis was wonderful, too wonderful. How could this not hurt Light? It felt as if there wasn't any space inside there. L trembled in place, feeling unbelievably aroused, a throbbing, needy ache that was almost out of control. He wanted to pin Light down and fuck him hard, but that would only last for a thrust or two, and that wasn't acceptable. An experience like this couldn't be allowed to end so quickly.
After a short wait, it was Light's words that once again prompted L into action. L started thrusting, a little at a time. It was simply heavenly and he could barely deal with it, the closeness, the tight squeezing friction, Light's kisses and the wanton way Light was wriggling underneath and wrapping his legs around L's hips.
And Light was whispering constantly, some of it dirty talk, some of it directions for what to do. L kept stopping in order to short-circuit his building orgasm before it could ruin everything, but Light didn't mention the terrible rhythm. L expected to be scolded for not doing it right, but Light's words were gentle and encouraging.
L tried hard, he put all his concentration into it, and at last he was able to continue moving steadily without stopping. It was still slow, but any faster and he'd lose it for sure. The feeling was just as intense, but L was getting used to it, the exquisite sliding pressure enclosing his penis completely, Light wriggling and mumbling underneath him and doing things that made it harder to keep any control at all. Light kept adjusting the angle by pulling with his legs, and he kept intensifying the contact of skin and lips and tongues.
It was all mixed together somehow, sensations blending, their bodies joined into one rhythmic mass of pleasure, L lost in a haze of lust and pleasure, so that when he heard moaning he often wasn't sure whether he'd produced the sound or Light had. And it was building toward something. There was a kind of sharp danger lurking beneath the surface, a few little nagging thoughts about lack of control that were almost submerged, but not completely. A feeling of the inevitable was rising inside, and L felt as if a lot was being held back, a tremendous load of semen ready to explode at any instant.
Light must be feeling it too. Light's movements were getting more frantic, and then L felt Light reaching between their bodies, touching himself and whimpering so beautifully into L's mouth as he connected in a kiss, his tongue slipping inside and cutting off the sound. Light closed his eyes, threw back his head and let out a soft little noise that turned into a drawn-out gasp as his cum suddenly flooded the space between their bellies. It was so warm, warmer than L expected, and at the same time Light's internal muscles were squeezing in a rhythm.
To his own surprise, L was able to keep moving a little while longer before his own orgasm hit him. It was a tremendous release, and L didn't care at all, for once, whether Light was Kira or not, he only wanted to keep his length buried in Light as it continued and continued to pour out all the pent-up tension. L pressed hard against Light, his lips on the side of Light's neck, his arms clinging tightly. Even after he finished, some instinct wouldn't let him let go. Light pushed him onto his side and still he clung hard, needing to feel the steady thumping of Light's heartbeat, the rise and fall of Light's ribs with each breath.
Then Light was pulling L's face into position, for a kiss? No, Light was hovering just barely out of kissing range. He stroked L's face with his hands and looked L directly in the eyes. That stare felt uncomfortable. It was too close, too intimate, a reminder of just how wrong it was to enjoy Light this way, to feel comfort in his arms.
Remember, this is the man who is almost certainly Kira. Light has likely killed thousands of people. Using and then killing a lover would mean nothing to him.
Light said, "Did you like it?"
There's no reason to withhold the truth.
L said, "The entire time I thought I was going to come. I had to fight it. I'm not good at this, am I?"
Light said, "It was nice."
After a pause, Light added, "Uh, thank you for making sure you didn't hurt me. You waited and worked hard for this, even though I didn't ask you to."
Kira, don't act as if you care for me. My emotions won't be manipulated that way.
L thought briefly about trying to stop the cuddling, to instead ignore Light and hope the sickening attachment would weaken without as much cuddling to strengthen it. But then he realized it wouldn't matter. It was already so strong that nothing would reduce the upcoming pain, except for the passing of enough time after Light was taken away.
Besides, Light needed to be thrown off-balance by letting him think he was gaining an advantage. L allowed his body to conform to all of Light's curves, clinging tightly, continuing the lazy cuddling until Light fell asleep in his arms. L stared at that sleeping face for a long time before he drifted off to sleep himself, wondering all the time how it was that Kira always looked so innocent and untroubled as he slept.
The next day and a half until the break-up between Misa and Light were difficult times. The preparations for the event were easy enough. L went over all possible scenarios in his mind over and over, and made sure he had a plan for each and every one of them. It was being with Light that was harder than before. L wanted Light more than ever. He threw himself into the new role of being on top with a passion, trying to discover how to fully enjoy the pleasure.
But, though he knew his physical techniques were improving, he felt a little more lost each time he touched Light. L could feel that a small part of him wanted to save Kira, no matter how dangerous it was. And he hated himself, utterly despised himself, for thinking like that in the slightest, about a serial killer, of all people. Kira wasn't like Aiber and Wedy, who had only caused monetary damages. No, Kira was part of a category of criminals who should never be offered redemption. He'd simply killed far too many people, including law enforcement officials.
When the time came for the project to dump Misa, everything was perfectly in place. The NPA officers newly recruited by Ide, Aizawa and Mogi were waiting in an inconspicuous unmarked van near the hotel and Light was off the chain and in a limousine being driven by Watari, ready to be delivered to the hotel as soon as L gave the signal. Everyone else was in the main investigation room, even Aiber and Wedy, waiting and watching the multiple monitors. The monitors were now showing two views of Light inside the limo and several views of the inside of the chosen hotel, along with a view of Misa in her apartment, lying on her bed paging through a magazine.
The anticipation and worry in the investigation room were palpable. Even Matsuda looked a bit apprehensive. If things went wrong, if Misa really was the second Kira, then almost anything could happen. The Kiras could attack each other, or they could try to run while killing off the investigation team. Misa had never seen Watari's face or Wedy's face. They could be the only survivors.
Was Misa the second Kira? Light's guilt or innocence was linked to hers. If one was guilty, there was a very strong probability that both of them were. However, Misa might not be the second Kira at the moment, the power and the knowledge of it might still be gone. She certainly acted as if she didn't have any memories of having that power. But Misa was an actress. It was impossible to be sure if she'd really forgotten. What mechanism caused the regaining of suppressed Kira memories? Whatever it was, Light should know it.
If Misa actually accepted that the relationship was over, she'd have no reason to protect Light. She'd even have a strong motivation to kill him with her power. People as obsessed as Misa tended to have all their love turn to hate if they were rejected. And, if Light thought she might regain her memories at some future time, he'd certainly want to kill her before that happened. If Light was Kira, and if he didn't kill her in the near future, then it would have to mean that Light was sure Misa would never regain her memories. This incident should reveal at least that much information, even if it was useless otherwise.
L pressed a button on a microphone and said, "Watari, tell Light to make the call."
Light's clothing was bugged, the limo was bugged, and the cellphone he was using was bugged. Vast amounts of audio recordings were being made.
Everyone watched tensely as Light called Misa, Misa answered, and Light told her to go to a certain hotel, book a room, and wait for him. Light kept the call short and to the point, following the script, just as L had previously instructed him. If the two of them did have a way of secretly signaling each other, a phone call like this should minimize that chance.
The investigation room broke out into nervous chatter during the time it took Misa to get ready and arrive at the hotel. Everyone was seriously unsure if Light was Kira or not, and they couldn't stop their speculations. Even Matsuda and Soichiro had begun to suspect Light a little. It made for a gloomy mood.
When Misa reached the hotel, everything went perfectly. The employees behind the desk had been replaced by L's agents, new ones hired just for this job, so Misa had never before seen them and shouldn't be suspicious. The room they "randomly" assigned to her was the one already packed with surveillance by Wedy. Misa should have no reason to assume the hotel room wasn't private. Even if Misa had somehow realized that her apartment was covered with hidden bugs and cameras, she should think she was now safe.
Misa made the call to Light, to tell him the room number, and once again Light stuck to the script and ended the call quickly.
Watari delivered Light to the hotel. At no time did Light ever pass out of sight of the cameras. Every bit of his journey was recorded, from cameras that had been placed outside along his route from the limo to the hotel, to those that had been placed in the hotel lobby and hallways.
Then Light was entering the room. Misa ran to meet him, but Light pushed her away and quickly got down to business. It was obvious that he intended to dump her as fast as possible and then leave.
Does he think this way there won't be much chance for clues to slip out?
Then, there was a sudden breakthrough. A clear clue, far clearer than L had expected to get from this operation.
Misa said, "It is because I didn't obey. Don't you remember? Just after they released me, you said you would love me forever if I went to a certain place and dug something up. You gave me the directions, but I never dug anything up, and now you don't love me."
There was a momentary, subtle flicker of panic on Light's face, before it became completely blank.
L said, "Wherever that location is, there might be physical evidence. Chief Yagami, contact Deputy-Director Kitamura and ask him to have a police force prepared to completely surround and blockade an area."
- 16
- 17
- 18
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Fever Dreams