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仁義	By : Kimmimaru Category: Gravitation > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1234 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, the characters or settings and of course i make no money from writing this.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
Authors note: Hey guys! I'm back, so, I really hope my readers are enjoying this! Even if it has gone weird! Lol. It's getting kinda sad...Poor Ryu-chan! I dunno what's wrong with me! I can't seem to stop torturing the poor bastard! Anyways, the crime will continue soon! Thanks for reading, love you all! X

Chapter 17: Kōkai (Regret)

Ryuichi hovered above his body, he frowned down at it. He hated the fact that his other self had been forcing its way to the fore since he had been shot, he was making him look like a fool! It angered him that the childish side had cried in front of Tatsuha, wasn't he supposed to be Wakagashira? Wasn't he supposed to die for Tohma?

"How could you?" He hissed at himself. "You're so weak! I don't need you! Why won't you go away?" He sighed heavily and shoved fingers in his hair, he began frowning as he wandered if there really was a way he could remove that weakness.

The door slammed open revealing a panting Tatsuha. Ryuichi jumped visibly and dropped several inches out of the air, his eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Sakuma-san! I got it! I worked out how you can get into your body!" He gasped and leaned on his knees.

The singer smiled and floated to the floor, his feet touched it in silence. "Good, how?" He demanded as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Huh?" Tatsuha took a second to take in Sakuma's appearance, it was different than usual. His eyes were narrowed and his bearing much more confident. He was in 'Performance mode'. "Oh...Yeah, sorry...Firstly you have to want to wake up." The Monk said slowly.

"I do!" Ryuichi insisted. "I..."

"Obviously you don't...you're still here."

Ryuichi frowned and Tatsuha swallowed nervously. The singer's eyes drilled holes into him and he felt a sweat break out across his forehead. "Hmm...Maybe you're right." He conceded eventually, he turned away and looked down at his body. "So, I have to work out why I don't want to return? I need to work out what is preventing me from...living?"

"That about sums it up." Tatsuha sat down in a seat and watched the singer curiously as he stared down at his body.

"I...don't understand why I wouldn't want to return! Tohma wants me to...and my life is his. I swore myself to him, bound my fate to his as surely as if I had bound myself with string..." he spoke in a soft musing tone and Tatsuha let him speak his thoughts aloud, he was uncomfortable being around 'Serious' Ryuichi, he never had any idea how to act. The man was intimidating to say the least, even without the knowledge that his hands were stained in copious amounts of blood. "Maybe...maybe it's...him."

"W-Who?" Tatsuha asked.

The singer suddenly turned on him, his blue eyes narrowed. "Him! The other me!" he snapped. "He's always in the way...always trying to get in the way. He stops me from doing things...because he doesn't agree with them. He makes me look like a fool!"

"You're...aware you have two sides?"

"Of course I am! Who wouldn't be when they're...so obvious." He ran fingers through his hair again, almost as if he was distracted. "But no...No, he's afraid of death...he wouldn't want to die...it can't be him."

"Then...maybe it's you?" Tatsuha suggested carefully.

Ryuichi paused as he began pacing. His blue eyes widened slightly. "Y-you think?" he asked slowly. "I...don't know why I wouldn't...I mean...Tohma..." he came to a sudden realisation. "He hasn't asked me!" he muttered. "He has asked you, he never once spoke to me! I-I need him to tell me to wake up!"

Tatsuha looked confused. "Why would you need him to ask you specifically?"

"Because I can't do anything...especially now, that would directly violate his orders. I'm already in trouble..."

"What...you're in trouble for trying to rescue Shuichi?" Tatsuha's eyes widened in shock.

"That shouldn't be all that surprising, Tohma's...a jealous person. Well, I suppose selfish is closer to the truth, or even possessive...well, anyway, he doesn't take kindly to people who appear to be encroaching on his territory. Shuichi was with Yuki and then...and then I began to become interested..." Ryuichi looked away for a second before recomposing himself and returning that piercing gaze to Tatsuha. "I told him I was falling for Shuichi...the fact that he was hurt is partly my fault, however, my loyalty will always reside with Tohma. My place is by his side...until he orders it otherwise."

Tatsuha wasn't sure what to say to all this. He was struggling with the concept of Ryuichi in love with Shuichi, for most of his life he had been a huge fan of Nittle Grasper, as well as having a massive crush on the older singer, however, no matter how much he hoped, he knew it was never meant to be. He hated the fact that Tohma would never return Ryuichi's feelings, it hurt to know the singer was in any kind of pain. "So, how are we supposed to make Seguchi say that he wants you back?"

Ryuichi shrugged. "I think I probably need him to say it himself, we can't force him..."

"B-But...you don't have much time."

Ryuichi smiled, it was almost cold. "Tatsuha, no matter what the other 'me' may say, I am not afraid of dying. If it is what Tohma wants, then I will happily move on."

"That's...that's awful! There are so many people who care about you!" Tatsuha said desperately. "You have so many people who love you! You can't just give in!"

Ryuichi shrugged and turned to the window, he looked out over the hospital car park. "It's not giving in, it's acceptance. If Tohma doesn't need me, then my existence is pointless...don't you understand yet? My world is his world! My life is his! I would do anything for him!"

"That's...so sad." Tatsuha whispered.

Ryuichi turned, he raised an eyebrow. "For you, maybe. Not to me. I'm happiest when I'm doing what he wants, my bliss is by his side." He smiled then, a soft and gentle expression that almost made Tatsuha gasp. As he looked at the singer he narrowed his eyes, he could have sworn he was becoming blurry around the edges, almost as if he were fading. Also, the colour of his clothes had changed, they were becoming darker, less pure. "I...don't feel right..." Ryuichi muttered suddenly, his whole form rippled and he winced. "What's happening?"

Tatsuha moved his eyes to the machine keeping Ryuichi's body alive, his eyes widened as the heart monitor began to become erratic. "Shit!" he muttered and grabbed the buzzer by the singer's bed, it called the nurses.

Ryuichi tipped his back as he closed his eyes. His form flickered, going wobbly like some kind of horror film ghost. "Tohma..."

Hiro stood on his balcony, his cigarette dangling from his fingers and his hair hanging in a loose pony tail over his shoulder. He sighed heavily. Shuichi had cried himself to sleep. All the pain he had gone through, being ignored by Yuki, on top of the unrest about Ryuichi's odd condition had all piled on top of him and he had hardly stopped crying. Hiro dropped his cigarette and walked back to his living room, he looked down at Shuichi who lay on his back with one hand by his head and he snored softly. His blanket had ended up scrunched up around his legs and he had managed to tangle himself up. The guitarist smiled, he did look adorable. Slowly he crouched and began untangling his friend, suddenly Shuichi made a soft snuffling noise and he grabbed Hiro's wrist before dragging him down so they lay side by side. A tiny smile lit the singers face and he fell back into a deep sleep. Hiro found himself trapped in Shuichi's arms and he was too afraid to move in case he woke him, so he lay his head beside Shuichi's and just watched him sleep.

Yuki lay on his sofa, his forearm resting across his eyes as he determinedly ignored the person sat on the other seat in the hopes he would go away. Tohma, however, made no attempt to move from his spot beside Eiri, he had his arms crossed across his chest and his eyes closed with a determined frown. "I have already apologised, Eiri-kun." He said after a long silence.

"I told you to leave!" Yuki snapped furiously.

"No. I cannot leave until I know you will not something stupid! I came here to give you a sincere apology and you just brushed it aside..." Tohma pouted slightly and opened an eye. "You cannot seem to understand that I did it because I care about you..."

"How is selling my lover into prostitution caring?" Yuki muttered half heartedly, he knew this would happen. Tohma had a tendency to just keep sliding into his life, no matter how far away he pushed him. "You're an eel!" he said suddenly as he rolled onto his side.

"Excuse me?" Tohma looked taken aback by the strange comment.

"You heard me! You're slippery...I try to get rid of you and somehow you just wiggle your way back in! Is there nothing I can do to remove you from my life?"

Tohma hissed in air through his teeth at that. It hurt, but he knew he deserved it. Yuki moved his arm slightly and saw the pain on his brother in laws eyes, Tohma covered it badly, it seemed that since that night he had been slowly losing his composure. It was as if one crack had turned into great big caverns and he could no longer hide behind his usual cold smile. Yuki felt a touch of sympathy for the man before he shoved it roughly aside, it was easy, all he had to do was remember the state Shuichi had been in when they found him. He had been beaten, gang raped and forced to take too many drugs until he was pliant and almost willing to do whatever his captors wanted. The thoughts sent chills down Yuki's spine as he remembered his Sensei's hands on his body...he forcefully shoved those memories away, he didn't need them...because if he thought too much about it he knew he would cave and fall straight back into Tohma's arms like a child.

"I remember when you were...younger...you used to run up to me when I got home," Tohma smiled nostalgically. "You used to fling your arms around me and welcome me home...what happened to those days?" he sighed heavily and looked at Yuki who was sat up with his head bowed.

"They died!" Yuki said as he shoved fingers into his hair. "They died with that boy! That's...not who am I am anymore! And I never will be again! Why...why can't you just accept that?"

Tohma moved closer to the writer and put his gloved and over Yuki's. "Because...because I still hope that somewhere in here..." He put his hand over Yuki's heart and looked into his eyes. "There's still a tiny fragment of him left. I hope that...one day that boy...c-can forgive me...for everything I've done!" Unwanted tears sprung to his eyes and he lowered his head, his hat obscuring his face. "Please, Eiri-kun...please find it somewhere in your heart to...to forgive me. I-I can't live like this anymore! I can't stand seeing that hatred and regret in your eyes...I know...I know everything I do is wrong! I know I make...bad choices...but I promise you, everything I do..." He looked up suddenly and Yuki's eyes widened as he saw tears pouring down his face and pain in those faded blue depths. "Everything I do, I do it to protect you!" he lifted his hand to the authors face and pressed his forehead to his. "Forgive me, I-I never intended to hurt you..." He was on his knees, having slipped off of the sofa and he bowed his head low, hands covering his face. "I'm sorry." He whispered in a broken voice.

Tatsuha watched the nurses and Doctors rush around, he was shoved out of the way as they worked and all he could do was stare at Ryuichi's flickering ghost. The singer was watching the activity with a slightly surprised expression, his form flickered as if he were an image on a badly recorded television programme. He could feel freezing cold seeping through his form, like ice water being dribbled over his head. He shivered, unable to help himself. Slowly he forced his eyes to Tatsuha. "Tell Tohma...tell him, I'm sorry..." he whispered, his face was too white and his eyes dark. "Tell him I love him and...and I'll never forget!" Slowly he smiled, a bitter one, filled with regret and sadness. "Don't let Shuichi give up! Help him...help him become the best that he can be!"

"Sakuma-san..." Tatsuha whispered softly. He didn't know what to do, all his training seemed useless suddenly and he felt the bitter bite of grief.

"I'm so...so...sorry!" Ryuichi muttered.

Tohma slowly lifted his head, he could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket and he dug it out expecting it to be Sakano. He looked down and saw Tatsuha's name. His eyes widened slightly and he flipped it open. "Hello, Seguchi speaking." He said slowly.

"Seguchi-san! You need to get to the hospital! I-It's Sakuma-san..."

Tohma felt ice slip down his neck and he nearly dropped his phone. He hung up and stood. "I-I have to go..." he gasped. "We'll...continue..."

"No." Yuki muttered. "Don't worry about it...just go."

Tohma nodded once and left.
- 16
- 17
- 18
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仁義