Echoes of Humanity

The next morning, Shaka\'s mind awoke long before his body began to move, preparing him for the morning that he didn\'t want to face. The heavy, warm weight of Mu on his chest and the weight of the previous evening lay heavily on him, at the same time both comforting and disconcerting. From the sound of Mu\'s breathing, the Aries Saint was also awake, probably contemplating the same things as he.

Slowly, Shaka stretched, shifting. For a brief moment, Mu\'s hand tightened on his shoulder, and then released him, as the Aries Saint rolled away to stand. Shaka got to his knees, watching silently while Mu made a sound of dismay and hurried to the fireplace, kneeling and poking at the ashes slightly.

Shaka stood, walking to look into the cold hearth for a moment. “Is something the matter?” He asked quietly. Mu jumped, and turned to look at him.

“I am harsh upon my student when he forgets to bank the fire against going out.” The Aries Saint replied. “It wastes resources to relight a fire.”

“I see.” Shaka said, amused by the guilty dismay in Mu\'s tone. He knelt by the Aries Saint\'s hand, examining the dead ashes carefully for any sign of life. Mu sighed.

“Please don\'t trouble yourself. It is most definitely out.”

“Do you want to rebuild it?” Shaka asked. Mu shook his head.

“Unless you wish to remain here, I don\'t think so. I am planning on returning to Sanctuary this morning, and so will have Kiki rebuild it this evening.”

“I see.” Shaka said, standing again. Mu followed him to his feet.

“Do you care for breakfast?”

“If it is no trouble. Otherwise, I\'m sure there will be plenty of food at Sanctuary.”

“Of course it is no trouble. Kiki has a tendency to restock us with far more food than we need whenever he visits Sanctuary, and so it would be better to eat what stores we have.” Mu said with a smile, beckoning Shaka to follow him to the small kitchen. Mu gestured to the icebox. “Please, take whatever you please.”

Walking to the chest, Shaka opened it curiously, quickly taking stock of items through the cold air and closing it while he decided on what to remove. Reopening the box, he took out a container of juice and a covered tray of sliced fruit and carried it back to the table.

“Is this alright?” He asked. Mu barely sparred a glance at his choices before nodding, and slid a plate across the table to the Virgo Saint.

“That is fine. With a few of Kiki\'s quirky tastes, there are very few things here that I don\'t enjoy eating.” He said, pulling the plate of fruits to him and choosing a small selection. For a few moments, they ate in silence, then Mu sighed.

“You know as well as I do that we need to figure out where we\'re going to go from here.”

Shaka took a deep breath. “Can we go outside?” He asked, the words acknowledging Mu\'s statement, despite their seeming lack of meaning. The Aries Saint nodded, pushing himself up from the table, Shaka following a few feet behind him.

They didn\'t stop until they\'d reached one of the many cliffs gracing the mountain, the jagged stone breaking off to a huge gulf that ended only in more stone. Mu sat on the edge, arms crossed over his knees. Shaka remained standing, watching a far-away speck of black that might have been an eagle as it flew under them, weaving and darting across the sky.

“What are we supposed to say?” He asked, hoping Mu might have come to the answer that he most definitely did not. Mu\'s response, however, killed those hopes.

“I have no idea. My world has changed shape dramatically recently, with the reinstating of the avatar, and everything else that has happened.” Mu said.

Shaka felt his heart break over the utter loss in the Aries Saint\'s tone. Mu looked back at him briefly.

“I never thought it would be so hard to, for once, know exactly where I stand.” He said. “I keep thinking that it might just be another illusion.”

“We both know that it isn\'t. It couldn\'t be more real.”

“It\'s the both, expanded to everyone, that scares me. I spent ten years standing, helpless, at the edge of this cliff not knowing what I was supposed to accomplish.”

“And now?”

“Now I know exactly where I stand. The situation is everything I ever wanted. I don\'t want it to change.”

“We can\'t defend something if we don\'t know where we stand.” Shaka mused. He understood perfectly what the Aries Saint meant.

“So where is it that we stand?” Mu asked. “You have become an integral part of what my world has become, and I know exactly what I want when it comes of us, Shaka.”

The Aries Saint stood suddenly, looking at Shaka with the same desperate expression he had used the previous night. “I want to keep everything I have as long as I can, and I want to keep this, us. You have become part of my life.”

Shaka didn\'t say anything for a long moment and, during his silence, Mu sat back down, facing away from him. Shaka finally joined him, sitting just behind and to the side of the Aries Saint. “I think.” He said hesitantly, “I think I agree with you.”

Shaka didn\'t miss the way the fragment of tension that melted from Mu\'s shoulder. He realized suddenly just how alone the Aries Saint still thought he was. Mu actually thought that he was alone in the wild ocean of emotions that they had thrown each other into. He sighed.

“I think we already knew that we would both like to pursue the attraction between us.” Mu said. “Which leaves us with the question of how we\'re supposed to make it work.”

“I don\'t think I can answer that.” Shaka said. “I never expected something like this to happen, and I don\'t know what to do now that it has.”

“We just know we can\'t fight it anymore.” Mu said quietly.

“I\'m not sure it\'s worth it to keep trying.” Shaka said, looking at Mu carefully. “I think it might be more distracting for us to stand against our feelings.

Mu looked back at him, the most miserable smile Shaka had ever seen gracing the Aries Saint\'s face. “So we\'re giving in because we\'re too weak to deny our own emotions?”

Shaka reached out, unable to help himself from trying to relieve the Aries Saint of the pain he was so obviously feeling. His movement was hesitant, but determined as he pulled Mu back against his chest.

“That\'s not what I meant at all.” Shaka said, feeling Mu relax by inches against him and wondering just how hard the Aries Saint had been trying to resist what was happening. “Every argument I make falls before my emotions, and that hasn\'t happened to me since I was a child. I have no idea what is going on, but I want it, desperately.”

Mu looked back at him. “What are you saying?” He asked, unable to mask the hope in his voice.

“I think I\'m saying I\'m willing to try. Normally, I would fight something like this, but my feelings are so persistent that I\'m beginning to believe that perhaps there is something to them.”

“I know there\'s a lot to mine.” Mu said, completely seriously. “Mostly blind terror and a burning desire to be close to you.”

Mu twisted suddenly, reaching one hand up to close on Shaka\'s shoulder, and letting his head rest against the Virgo Saint\'s chest.

“We can\'t let it interfere with our possible deaths.” He said. Shaka nodded, resting his head on top of Mu\'s. He was silent for several minutes, thinking about everything that determined them as Saints.

“I don\'t think it will, if we are careful.” He finally said. “We both fought and sacrificed a great deal to become what we are. It is not something either of us will give up easily.”

Mu huffed laughter. “Someone else told me as much,” he said wryly. “I didn\'t quite believe him.”

“I don\'t think we have any choice but to believe in it, Mu.” Shaka said, tightening his grip on Mu to prevent another misunderstanding.

Mu looked up at him, then reached up to trace the line of Shaka\'s face. Twisting, he got to his knees, facing the Virgo Saint. His arms wrapped around Shaka\'s neck, and he leaned forward to kiss the Virgo Saint, his lips ghosting against Shaka\'s for a moment before they gave in completely, arms tightening around one another in a desperate attempt to make the moment last longer.

“So we\'ve agreed to allow ourselves to fall in love?” Mu asked when they broke apart, resting his forehead against Shaka\'s lightly.

“No.” Shaka said quietly, shifting forward to kiss the Aries Saint again before continuing. “We\'re going to allow ourselves to admit that we already have.”