Zoro Learns Some Manners

…so I’m just borrowing them for the sake of Yaoi. Once I’m done then I promise to wipe them off and give them back ;) Any resemblance to real people is coincidental - these guys are pure fantasy *sigh*


Warning: contains a lot of very strong language and steamy Yaoi / boysecks (Zoro x Sanji)


After posting this I realised it owes je ne sais quoi to Saiyako's story "The Gift of Faith". Kudos!

-----------


Sanji knelt down, his knees sinking into the warm sand. He brushed the dark hair away, and then rested his finger tips on the pale throat. He could feel the blood pulsing, steady, just below the surface. At least he was still alive. Stupid marimo had still hit them too hard though.


“Giving them permanent brain damage is pretty much the same as killing them” the cook muttered in Zoro’s general direction. The twins were still there; and they were still out cold. Looks like Mr. Restraint still had quite a bit to learn.


The tide was going out now and the sun was just starting to sink on the horizon. Soon it would be sunset, then dusk, and finally a clear starry night. A perfect night for seducing. Pity moss head would probably sleep straight through it...


So instead of planning a romantic night with the ladies, Sanji decided to concentrate on what he knew would be appreciated. He collected some wood, intending to set his *slightly* pyromaniac tendencies to good use. Zoro saw the pile of wood building on the beach and took his cue. At least he wasn’t a slouch when it came to killing things. He went striding into the water armed with nothing but a pointy stick. It was totally uncalled for given that he had his swords, but the stupid oaf refused to put them in sea water unless he had to. Sanji looked up from making his tepee of twigs to see the swordsman thrashing about trying to kill a shark by stabbing it in the eye.


Somehow he even managed to make getting eaten look sexy.


Idiot.


Once marimo finally came back, they sat in companionable silence and ate while they watched the burning sun sink into infinity.


When the crew found them, they were eating char grilled flake cooked on a roaring fire.


“Swordsman-san, Cook-san, here you are.” Robin’s calm voice was the cure for all of Sanji’s newly-perceived woes.


“Robin-chwan! Thank Kami! Over here!!!” The cook called out.


“There is a fire. They can probably see us.” Zoro grumbled.


“Meat!!!” Luffy screamed, throwing himself up the beach in a couple of rubbery strides. He arrived first and began to help himself to dinner. Half-way through a particularly large mouthful, he paused long enough to spray his joy at finding them both well. He looked like butter wouldn’t melt in his damn mouth. Two right eyebrows twitched in unison.


Nami, Usopp, and Robin stepped into the halo of firelight. Chopper hurtled from between the legs of the crew and hit Sanji square in the chest like a furry rocket.


“Careful” the cook chuckled.


“Sanji! What happened to you?!” the reindeer wailed. “Someone call a Doctor!!!”


Zoro rolled his eyes, while a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.


“He’s fine” the swordsman said, but Chopper was off. He was already whizzing around Sanji at break neck speed, lifting the cook’s arms, and poking him astutely here and there.


Zoro finally turned on his Captain.


“Why’d you leave us on the island?” He said; nice and slow just in case Luffy missed it due to the loud scoffing noises.


“Mgh..dft..ou...” Luffy laughed, choked a little, swallowed, and then finally spoke.


“Because you guys are idiots!” he said, and laughed until tears started to roll down his cheeks.


Zoro turned a funny colour, but somehow he managed to stay sitting down. “Let’s get back to the ship then,” he managed to force out.


“Wait a minute.” Sanji stood up and walked out across the sand. “Chopper, can you take a look at these two, they’ve been out cold for at least a few hours now. I hope they’re ok” Sanji glared at Zoro who returned the glare, with interest.


Chopper scrambled over and checked both of Zoro’s opponents from head to toe. A barrage of questions accompanied his analysis, most of them about how these two had come to be knocked out in the first place. This of course gave Sanji lots of scope for more staring. Finally, Chopper was done with his check-up.


“They’re not unconscious anymore, they’re actually asleep. It’s quite a deep sleep, but their pupils are normal so they should be fine when they wake up.”


After a collective sigh of relief, the crew began to put out the fire and “pack up” the flake. Sanji managed to save the fins. Certainly not worth wasting a delicacy like that on Luffy. Once everything was organised, Zoro called out to the fuzzy Doctor to come along.


"Oi!"


“But we can’t leave them here! What if they get in trouble? They’re completely vulnerable out here asleep!” Chopper wailed.


“They’ll be fine.” Zoro remembered the strength they had displayed. Even though they weren’t ready yet, there was no way a night on the beach would kill them.


“You can’t know that!” He squeaked, “As a Doctor I can’t just leave them here to the mercy of the elements, even if it just rained them the...”


“They’ll be fine!” Nami’s voice was stern and resolute. Sanji stepped up behind her and blew smoke hearts into the night air. He spoke to his sweet Mellorine,


“How did they find us anyway? I didn’t see anybody out there on the water while Luffy was rowing us out.” Two pairs of calculating eyes levelled on the Captain.


“Well,” Nami turned and rolled her eyes, “some idiot dropped you in their front yard. We asked around at the pub and that guy with the horrible moustache was with them. This is their island.” She glared at Luffy as he peered into the sky after Sanji’s vanishing hearts, completely oblivious.


“So they’ll really be ok?” Chopper whispered up at the navigator. His big eyes misted over ever so slightly as he sniffed and coughed to cover it up. Nami smiled and knelt down so she was on his level.


“Yes they’ll be ok. They’re above the high tide line. Plus, people will be coming to get them very soon. It’s actually a very small island, and now that it’s getting dark the fire must have been spotted. And we will still be here when they get here if we don’t get a move on right now.” Nami finished up with a wide gesture and swept the Doctor, along with Usopp, up and along the beach towards the ship.


Robin chuckled as she watched the redhead herd the crew ahead of her. She managed somehow to organise the rabble, and stop violence erupting for long enough to get everyone back onto the Merry. She even got them into bed without protest.


Formidable and wonderful indeed.


-----------------


“Is this really ok?” Chopper asked; his eyes wide with concern.


Sanji and Zoro grinned back. Their mouths twitched in smiles of pure sadism. It was clear they were going to inflict as much pain as possible, and they were going to love it. Chopper edged just a little further behind Usopp’s knees. He didn’t like it when they got like this. It made him wonder just how good an idea it was to be stuck in a confined space with these two for weeks on end... They were probably both quite susceptible to cabin fever, and they were clearly driven to acts of mindless violence.


The furry lad cringed as Luffy was twisted one more time and pegged to the deck. Zoro and Sanji had strung him up from the mast and they were setting about finding the most effective way to use him for target practice. Luffy was enjoying it at first, so that just made them twist harder... Now he was not having so much fun.


“Zoooroooo! I said I’m sorry...” he whinged, “let me down now, ok?”


Zoro smiled across at Sanji, his teeth gleaming in the sunlight.


“First shot?” The swordsman asked.


“Don’t mind if I do.” Sanji took a deep breath of smoke and savoured the sight. Luffy’s rubbery tummy was stretched beyond all reason. His clothes didn’t stretch so it looked like someone had pinned a vest and a pair of shorts to a thick flesh-coloured rope to dry. A very vocal rope. The cook took the rope tied around the waist of his Captain from Zoro. There was a lot of resistance; Luffy was going to fucking fly. They were still in the archipelago and they were facing the largest island so there was only a slim chance that he would fall into the ocean, sink like a stone, and drown his sorry ass. Sanji lined up his shot.


“Saaaaaanjiiiiii! Don’t shoot me onto the island. I only wanted to give you t..” He was cut off abruptly as the cook let go of the rope and sent the rubber boy hurtling into space. He cleared the water between them and the island, and then, with a faint whistling noise, he fell into the swamp head first.


“Nice.” Zoro said, smirking. A compliment? What was he playing at?


“Try to do better shit-head.”


“I will, love-cook.” The bastard said it like an insult and an endearment all rolled into one. He could even detect a hint of extra gravel in the deep voice. Lust.


Maybe ‘pervert’ was better after all…


------------------


For a fighter, a fight is just a fight. To a warrior, it’s war.


A war against weakness, a war against cowardice, a war against betrayal.


A war against yourself.


Against your own mind; your own body. A warrior that conquers themselves is undefeatable. She had doubted herself.


Had he lost sight of what it meant to be a warrior? Was he letting his passion cloud his judgement?


He knew the cook probably just said it off the cuff. He spent half his time just rambling on about crap. Zoro had found it a lot more interesting recently for some reason, but even he had trouble focussing sometimes. But he couldn’t help but think about it. Sanji had stopped him from fighting. It was only for a minute, but the damn cook had dared to restrain him. It was a fucking outrage.


Worse, the swordsman had no idea if he was right.


Then again, there were only so many good swordsmen around. If he killed them all before they’d reached their prime then the competition would be woeful...


But in the end, he knew he was just kidding himself.


Better than that.


Was he really? Was his technique really good enough that he didn’t have to rely on death blows for every foe? What if he underestimated someone? What would he do if his mistake resulted in his death and he couldn’t keep his promise? What if love-cook died because of his stupidity?


So many damn questions, and this time he couldn’t run away. This was his dream, and he needed to know exactly what that meant.


----------------


Sanji stared at the swordsman. He was pulling some ridiculously huge weight up to chest height and then swinging it from one side to the other; muscles rippling and gleaming as per usual. Nami had said he couldn’t do it when it was rough because it made the ship wobble off course. The cook’s eyes wandered to the flame haired dream. She was sunning herself on the deck. He had heard that they were due to arrive at some winter islands soon, so he enjoyed the view while it lasted. Her pale skin was ever so slightly flushed from the heat. A sharp pain in his right hand reminded him that he had been smoking a cigarette before this gorgeous flesh-fest had utterly distracted him. He swore and dropped the smoke, which had burnt down to the filter, and ground it out on the deck.


Something had been up with Zoro. Not random jumping overboard, screaming in his sleep, running away from and / or groping the cook at every chance he got (normal Zoro) weird, either. It was something even stranger. It was almost as if he was trying to get the cook to do something. Sanji couldn’t really tell. It wasn’t really anything in particular, he was just… weird.


The cook slowly lit another cigarette and began to mull over the information he had at hand. Zoro was training, just like he always did. But it wasn’t quite like it always was. Sanji brushed blonde strands out of his eyes and scrutinised the swordsman’s moves. He had put the weight down and now he was into the unarmed warm-up he always did before pulling out his precious swords. His movements were so powerful and precise. What he lacked in grace, he made up for in force …but if you put a katana in his hands, suddenly he moved like liquid gold. Sanji would never understand it.


The swordsman’s defined body moved in clear, direct lines. He stepped through the Kata with perfect form, but something was lacking. Even though it looked like exactly the same movements that the cook had seen time and time again, Zoro wasn’t sending out big waves of air just doing his warm-up like he normally would.


He was holding back.


The cook leaned on the railing, took a deep breath of smoke, and pondered this for a while. Maybe the idiot had actually listened to him, and was going to try not to kill so many people. Not very likely really, but not entirely beyond the outer limits of the realms of possibility. Zoro was a random guy and this was pretty much the last thing the cook would expect. The swordsman had touched him so softly though… What the fuck was with that?


The way the mossy idiot had stepped back and looked away. For a minute Sanji had seen a part of Zoro that he never knew existed. Like some secret that, once learned, could never be unlearned. Now he knew Zoro had a limited capacity for emotions, he was a little stumped. Maybe marimo had decided to listen to him and tone down on the slaughter. He had done weirder things before.


But they had never made Sanji feel this uncomfortable, that was for sure.


What the hell was he supposed to do in response though? He couldn’t ignore it. Bastard might never show an emotion - except anger - ever again. But he didn’t want to make a fuss. This was Roronoa Zoro. For all that the cook mocked him, he did have a certain awe-inspiring quality. Sanji had attributed it to killing intent. Whenever you annoyed the swordsman you always got a little instinctive burst of adrenaline, like your body was priming you to run for your life.


Even though he wanted to say something, he didn’t really want to get killed. Or end up with his foot wedged so far down his throat that only ass surgery would get it out. Damn random marimo.


Sanji walked slowly down the steps. He strode past Nami (a Herculean task), and walked up to where Zoro was sweating away.


“Thanks for the other day. Your judgement is really good; I knew I could trust you.”


The cook turned away hastily and left before anyone could get too uncomfortable.


Zoro watched the cook’s back as he swept up the stairs. He leant over to pick up his swords and fiddled with the binding on Yubashiri for a minute. He couldn’t contain the smile that smothered all his doubts.


In the cold that thawed, in the moonlit night, one truth makes everything else humble.


He didn’t trust himself now. He always had before; before them, before this. He had unshakeable faith in his ability to conquer all enemies, to strive, to fight, to get stronger, and better, and faster, until there was nowhere left to go and no-one left to kill.


But he trusted Sanji; and that idiot love-cook said he could do it.


In the end, it was so simple.


----------------


Nami let the sound of the waves wash through her mind as she lay back and soaked up the sunshine. It was a beautiful day with no chance of rain, wind, storms, or snow. At least in the next fifteen minutes. She knew she was good, but it never paid to underestimate the unpredictability of the Grand Line. Hopefully today it would change its mind about changing its mind half-way through changing its mind, and just stay calm.


She could hear the current surging forwards underneath the bow, the whistle of the wind as it shifted ever so slightly North North-West, and the comforting creaks of the hull as the waves lapped against it. It was a welcome medley to ears ever-alert for the slightest hint of danger. Just for a second, she could relax. Sometimes she wondered what Luffy had done without her; but not for long. The answer was pretty obvious; stupid, stupid things. But there were more important things to think about than the weather and Luffy being an idiot.


For once.


Her fingers twitched ever so slightly with an involuntary spasm of glee. It was so hard to suppress it when she knew… what she knew. And it was so out of the blue!


She knew something was up with them; they had been acting twelve different types of weird for weeks. But lovers? It was just not quite what she had expected. It made her re-think a lot of things. She had always prided herself on being the observant type, but somehow this had happened right in front of her nose without her even noticing. Maybe there were more important things that she had missed. It was disconcerting to say the least. And exciting. Oh boy, was it exciting!


Life stuck on a ship with the idiots had been getting a little dull. It wasn’t that she was sick of life as a Straw-Hat Pirate. She loved them and their bizarre lifestyle; there was nothing she would rather be doing than following her dream with them. It was just that there was so little real excitement! She had intellectual challenges: her maps and fighting storms that no normal navigator would survive. Physical challenges, like constantly having to fight, break up fights, and survive near-death experiences. She had little indulgences, like a day shopping and gourmet food. She had good company, and even people she could talk to - especially now that Robin was with them - but nothing to occupy her time. She had never read much for recreation, and out at sea there was no gossip, no pub full of old salts to fool, and no men she was interested in. For some reason, the idea of having two very attractive (if meat headed) men going at it in the next room made it all so much more palatable.


At first she had thought it was too good to be true. As she was pelting away from the hotel at break neck speed, she wondered belatedly if Robin had been having her on. To make sure she knew what was going on, she immediately set about securing evidence for herself. She was convinced now that Robin was right. Even if she couldn’t really comprehend it, they HAD to be having sex.


There was simply no other explanation.


Zoro and Sanji were having sex.


How had it even happened?! So many bizarre images invaded her mind. Zoro drunkenly crawling into bed with Sanji thinking he was a woman… Sanji forcing Zoro to prostitute himself for sake… Zoro in a dress and Sanji on bended knee asking him to dance… She shook her head and tried to make it stop. Maybe it was just final clinching proof that they’d been at sea for way too long together, and they were finally loosing the last dregs of what served them both for sanity… The real story was probably just as hilarious and just as wrong.


She still wanted to see it for herself though.


The thought made her flush just a little. No, not like that! Just to see them together to settle it once and for all in her mind. No matter how obvious it seemed now she had watched the way they interacted, she knew it wouldn’t sink in properly unless she had conclusive proof. Sanji was so obsessed with women, and Zoro was… Zoro. He wasn’t exactly the romantic type. If they were doing it, it would have to be sex of the quickest and dirtiest type. She flushed again. She didn’t really mean to think about that *quite* so much. Point was she wouldn’t catch them cuddling on the deck late at night. So far all she had was meaningful glances and the contented silence surrounding them when they were collected from their little outing. Once again, she knew she was good, but there was no way she should have been able to keep them under control for long enough to leave the island. No arguing on the way back, even.


Kami.


What kind of sex were those men having?


She flushed again as a kaleidoscope of possibilities spun through her mind.

----------------