This is the life

„I really don’t look good anymore…“, Mello said and sighed. He made a gesture aside but Matt saw he only acted like it didn’t matter to him. Mello’s appeareance had always been very important for the blonde.
‘Idiot!’, Matt thought about himself and he felt guilty for only having thought about himself and that he had felt like shit.
“Mello… I… In my eyes you’ll always be the most beautiful person in the world.”
Mello grinned but very joyless.
“Thank you for being nice to me but I’ve looked at myself in the mirror. My face and the fact I’m not able to walk alone for just two steps don’t really make me one of the contenders for the title “beauty king”. Strictly speaking, I’ve got a face not even a mother can love…”
Matt lifted his head and took Mello’s in his hands to look into his eyes.
“Now listen to me! You’re still the most attractive guy I know, alright? And I know, I’ve broken my promises many times before but I’m serious: You’re the only guy in all ages I want to sleep with, ok?”
Mello pushed his hands away and shook his head.
“Don’t say this… There are too many on this fucking world lookin’ much better than I do. For god’s sake, even Near looks better than me now. And you can say it as often as you want to, my face looks like minced meat. Not even a butcher would think of it as ‘attractive’.”
Again Matt pulled Mello’s face to himself and kissed him.
“I love you, Mello! You and only you. You’ll be able to run again and dammit, don’t hang down you head!”
Mello blushed when he felt Matt’s lips on his. He hadn’t expect Matt to kiss him now. But again he shook his head. “It’s alright, Matty… I’m ok…”

Mello’s attitude didn’t change the least during the next days in which Matt tried walking with him.
Mello’s legs weren’t injured and after four days he was able to go a few steps with the crutches without Matt having to help him.
Nevertheless, the redhead could feel how bad Mello felt.
Mello blocked him whenever he tried to hug him, exceptionally for the few occasions when Matt help him with the crutches, he couldn’t come near him.
In the evening, when they sat in front of the TV in the common room and all of the children were in their beds already, Matt tried again. He stretched out to caress a bang out of Mello’s face but the blonde grabbed his hand and pressed it harshly to the couch without saying anything.
Matt swallowed.
“Mello… Are you still this angry with me?”
Perplexed the blonde turned to him and looked him into the eyes for the first time in the last days.
“hm? Why should I?”
Silence.
“Matty?”
“You don’t talk to me anymore… And you pull back when I try to touch you… Or you hurt me like this time.”
“Oh… I… I’m sorry Matt… I didn’t want to hurt you.. I… Why do you so necessarily want to touch me all the time? Wanna fuck minced meat now? Maybe you should become a butcher then!”
“Mel…?”
But to his great surprise and dismay the blonde suddenly broke out in tears. “Stop it! Stop to pretend I was still that good-looking! Stop to pretend you’d still be able to want me…”
The redhead grabbed him by his shoulders. “Look at me!” He said, then he kissed Mello passionately, during which process the blonde tilted backwards on the couch.
“Matt…”, he whispered when he gasped for air.
“I love you, Mel, and fuckin’ shit, You still get me like you ever did before, ok?”
In this moment he took Mello's hand and led it to the bulge forming under his trousers.
“How can you believe, I don’t want you anymore? That I wouldn’t be into you anymore? Mello, damn… You’re… You’re sex on two legs! You…”
Mello pulled him down by his shirt to himself and kissed him back. “Prove it to me… Take me here looking into my eyes…”
Matt flushed deep red.
“Here? You mean… Like HERE? I… Can’t we… In our old room… I mean…”
“If you really do want me, you don’t care about the place.”, Mello alleged.
“But we don’t have any… lube, you know, I… I don’t wanna hurt you…”
“If you don’t want to… Then finally stop lying to me! I don’t want this! I don’t want you to act like you…”
Now Matt brought his hands under Mello’s trousers and grabbed his ass gently.
“Don’t complain if your ass hurts afterwards…”, he mumbled before he deepened the kiss with his lover again while pushing his trousers down.


Two hours later, They both were totally exhausted and breathing very unevenly.
Neither of them was able to say anything yet.
Compared to their first time it had lasted much longer and had been much better and hotter from Mello’s point of view. Although it also had been painful, maybe due to the fact they hadn’t had anything better for lube than spit, but Mello had felt the pain as something quite positive this time. As it had been required of him Matt had looked at Mello the whole time and now, when he lied on top of the blonde, panting, sweaty, Mello could feel his heart beating fast. Still their body both radiated the heat they had come in.
“Matt…”, Mello gasped. “I… I love you… But… you become a bit heavy you know…”
Slowly Matt got up and put one foot to the ground to let the blonde move his legs, for him to sit down next to him. He looked into his eyes.
“Still doubting I desire you? For now and all eternity?”
Mello shook his head slowly. “That was.. hot…”
The redhead caressed his cheek
“I love you, Mello. I love you so much, I don’t want you to ever leave me again. Never. I would die for you. Please, don’t doubt that ever again…”
This time the blonde nodded. “Even if I cannot understand it… But… thank you…”
Matt laughed and hugged his lover.
“You don’t need to thank me, Mello… Actually I’ve more reason to thank you because you came back and stayed with me…”
Mello flushed. “You…?”
“Yeah?”
“Maybe we should dress better now… The sun is rising…”
Matt’s face became redder than his hair. “You’re right… And clean the mess… Fuck the devil, Why did you want it especially here?”
Mello grinned exhausted. “Honestly… I didn’t think you actually would…”, he admitted.
“But the risk of being caught has it’s charm, hasn’t it?”
Matt sighed, also grinning. “By one of the children? THAT I would have been glad to see, how you explain… No, better not…”, he replied grabbing his jeans from the ground.

Beta’d by xxbeyondxbirthdayxx
If you like the story I'd like some reviews. If not, dito^^ I'll continue writing till the end, but I'd like to have some anyway...