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Unequally Rational and Emotional	By : OverMaster Category: +M to R > Mahou Sensei Negima/Magister Negi Magi Views: 8848 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Mahou Sensei Negima, all other works of fiction featured here, and related characters, don't belong to me. Neither do I make any money out of this.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
Mahou Sensei Negima and all related elements and characters are the property and creation of Ken Akamatsu, and the author of this humble piece has made no material profit from it, and never will do. Also, the latest manga chapter was… intense, to say the least. I only hope nothing too bad comes out of this…

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei and all its characters belong to Kumeta Koji.

Batman and all related characters and elements belong to DC Comics.

All other characters mentioned also belong to their respective copyright holders.

Any similarity between the characters and events of this story and anyone or anything ever actually seen in real life is a pure coincidence. Don't sue. Please.

A huge, huge, and I mean huge, new thank you to Shadow Crystal Mage, for helping to correct this chapter too, as well as adding more lines and jokes. And once again, you'll recognize them because they are the good ones.

UNEQUALLY RATIONAL AND EMOTIONAL-CHAPTER FIFTEEN.

Act One:

At the Eastern American Coastline, it almost was dawn:

The Elizabeth Arkham Home for the Criminally Insane.

Better known as 'Arkham Asylum'.

The building was designed in 1920, with several architects heavily inspired by the European styles at charge of the task. One of them had been one Suzushiro Janten, a promising young Japanese man who had been handpicked by Doctor Amadeus Arkham after witnessing his work at the rebuilding of the fire damaged Mahora Academy four years ago. Unfortunately, the experience at the Arkham grounds left pretty much all involved members severely shaken by years afterwards, and Suzushiro was no exception.

Harassed by unexplained nightmares, stirred by unspoken experiences he refused to share with his family, and driven by obsessions with perfection and darkness after months of working at America, Suzushiro, a very traditional and uptight Japanese visionary, was eventually found dead at his room, clumsily gutted out with an heirloom katana. The police determined a suicide. He left behind a small fortune for his wife and children, but the Suzushiro clan, eventually upstaged by the stronger Yukihiro and Tenjouin clans, never managed a full recovery.

The same thing could be said of most current Arkham inmates. Never fully recovering from the demons driving them. It didn't help that most of them didn't want to…

The great-grandson of Amadeus Arkham and current director of the institution walked quickly through the narrow corridors of the building as the alarms blared all around them. Hands in his white coat's pockets, eyes sharpl and bitterly shining behind his thick glasses, his teeth clenched at the deafening alarms and the screams of the prisoners everywhere he went.

"Mr. Cash," he dryly said. "Sedate the most unruly ones. Especially Croc and Clayface. No news on him yet?"

"JOKER! JOKER! JOKER! JOKER! JOKER!" the mad howling voices chorused, nonstop.

"The men are still looking for them, Sir," the large, burly, dark skinned uniformed man marching behind Jeremiah Arkham informed him. His most striking physical feature was his lack of a left hand, completely replaced by a steel hook. "Yes, them. Jonathan Crane has also vanished from his cell. We aren't sure they are together yet, but they've worked together in the past..."

"Just what we needed," Arkham muttered, rubbing his temples.

"Puddin'...!" a beautiful, young blond woman with her hair made into twintails bawled as she pressed her face against the bulletproof glass of her cell's door. "Puddin', don't forget me! Take me with youuuuu!"

"Riddle me this, Doctor," a thin balding prisoner with shifty eyes asked the Director as he passed by. "When is a Jack-in-a-Box not a..."

"Later, Mr. Nygma," the doctor ignored him, stomping past quickly.

"JOKER! OPEN THE DOORS FOR US!" these screams came from inside a huge reinforced steel box inside of a steel cage labeled 'Zsasz, Victor'. "LET US BE FREE, TOO! AND BRING ME A KNIFE! A KNIFE!"

"Mr. Zsasz has made clear the imminent danger in his usual particular way, Mr. Cash," Jeremiah growled, growing impatient. "Joker is the de facto leader of the inmate community in most mass break attempts. We need to recapture him and Crane before they get out, or worse, they get anyone else out."

"We're on it, Doctor," Aaron Cash promised. "The boys are covering every inch of the Asylum as we speak. But I still insist you should return to your office. It's impossible to predict what-"

"I will rest when Joker and Crane are found, and only then, Mr. Cash. In the meanwhile, just concentrate on-"

"Wait a moment, sir," the bigger man asked as he answered a beeping call he had just gotten. "Yes? Good. You know what to do. I'll be there right now. Sir," he said while hanging up. "They've found them. They're at the back kitchen, near the escape door."

Meanwhile:

"It's always a delight, what you can find at a well staffed kitchen. Or even here!" the comedian snipped while pressing the large butcher's knife tighter against the throat of the skinnier, scrawnier man with glasses struggling against his grasp, almost drawing blood out. "Has any of you fine gentlemen ever tasted a finely roasted and seasoned scarecrow? No? It's bony-finger lickin' good, I guarantee."

"Just drop the knife already, Joker," the lead guard at the scene commanded, all five of them training their guns on them. "You have nowhere to go. Don't be a fool."

"I can't help being The Fool. I'm the unmarked card," the clown rapidly giggled, pressing his back against the door behind. His right sleeve was rolled up, his right forearm sliced up and bleeding profusely. The blood had pooled up at his feet, and if the guards had cared to look at it instead of looking at the man himself, they could have noticed someone had drawn a red circle on the floor with it. Joker and his hostage stood at the middle of the circle.

"Let's just perforate 'em both," another guard suggested. "As if anyone will miss 'em."

"Oh, Hopkins!" the white faced man made a wounded face. "I thought I was your favorite. And here I was, even willing to teach you a few magic tricks..."

"No tricks, clown. Just toss the knife down. At our feet, not at us, unless you want us to shoot you where you stand," the lead guard barked.

"Fine, fine, Mendoza, have it your way," Joker rolled his sharp and insanely bubbly eyes around. "But first, are you fellas sure you don't want to hear your lesson? I promise it'll be the first and last one. It's about circles. Circles are like life; an unending, eternal cycle expressed in a lineal, closed form. Circles are the basics of magic. The egg the first Mother Goddess, the Goddess of Chaos, laid to give birth to her first child? It was a circle! Or sphere, if you want to get pedantic about it. Same thing. They say mages do kiss each other over circles to grant themselves powers. It's almost enough to make me want to kiss Johnny here..." he puckered his lips towards a cheek of the cringing Crane, stopping himself at the last moment, "But I'm already engaged to a better partner. However, I could grant you a kiss with Death herself, if you want..."

"Toss the knife down now or we shoot!" Mendoza urged. "At the count of three! One!"

"You sure? She's really hot, and not picky at all! Ah, well, your loss," Joker said, tossing the bladed tool at the man's feet. "As if I were going to take on you with a knife. While you have guns. I'm crazy, not stupid. Have I ever told you about the time I was going to pay taxes…?"

"Good boy," a third guard nodded. "Hold your hands up high. You, Crane, move over here. Quick."

"Yes, sir," the scarecrow of a man nodded shakily, before his lips curved up in a sinister grin. "Right now, sir."

With a single sudden motion of his hands, he emptied his pockets all over the circle drawn in blood. Fine, misty pulverized red rock fell in a shower of dust all across Joker's spilled blood.

"The priest gave me the prayer and the stone!" the Clown Prince cackled, lifting his hands up as if he wanted to touch the ceiling. "I only needed to draw the circle, chant the spell and perform the sacrifice! Now let's put our hands together, brother, and start praying..."

"Great. Religious delusions now," the fourth gunman said as they closed into him. "Maybe we should do you a favor and put you of your misery after all..."

"Yes, come closer, my brothers," the buffoon chuckled raspily, while Crane carefully cowered behind him, pressing himself between the clown and the door, covering his own nose with a ragged handkerchief just in case. "Our voices will reach the Heavens, the Hell, and even Walla-Walla Washington. Mmit, Mmit, Inid, Inid. Imakarum, Imakarum, Ttenrub, Ttenrub. Onamor, Onamor, Kered, Kered, Kram, Kram, Llimah, Llimah!" he shouted.

"What the Hell is that shi-" Mendoza began, right before something huge and hideous shone up from below, sprouted up from the Joker's blood, and jumped up at them.

Their last coherent thought was, We really should have just shot the bastard…

And then there was a beautiful pale girl in black holding out her hand. The Joker was right after all…

Act Two:

"Evangeline...?" Misa asked with a highly incredulous tone. "You mean Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell? That little quiet bore of a girl? What got into you?" she asked the older student.

"The Master doesn't like when people talks badly about her!" Kafuka pouted while juggling her knives expertly. "But I promise to give you one of these knives if you stop insulting her! Or I put one of these knives through your head to stop you from insulting her! Which do you prefer?" Kafuka asked, actually sounding curious instead of maliciously threatening.

Misa grimaced and started trying to drag Negi away with her. "Let's go, Negi-kun. This weirdo's giving me all kinds of bad vibes."

But Negi seemed rooted to the floor. "No, you go, Kakizaki-san. I can't. Kafuka-san!" he called out. "What did Evangeline-san did to you?" He knew it well, but he had to learn if she remembered it. "Did it happen to anyone else, too?"

"You'll learn all that and more if you come to the public bath in five minutes!" Kafuka cheerfully offered. "Otherwise, Master will consider we failed her, snap our necks, and get herself other slaves! So don't fail us, Negi-kun! I mean, we don't care, but we're sure you do!"

"This is a prank, right?" Misa scowled in disgust. "How much did Misora pay you?"

"Kafuka-san, wait!" Negi stomped ahead. "Try to fight the influence!"

But then the eerie girl stopped playing with the knives, instead aiming one at Misa's head. "Can you grab me before I toss this at her, Negi-kun?" she casually asked.

"What...?-!-?" he stopped immediately, just as the cheerleader jerked up violently in place.

"I advise you to let me go back to the Master. We'll meet again very soon, anyway," Fuura giggled, then jumped a few feet back with inhuman agility. "Remember! The bath house! In five minutes! Sayonara!" she waved a hand, and after that, she rushed back into the darkness before anyone could stop her.

The sound of someone stumbling and falling into the shadows was heard.

"Ouchie!" Kafuka's voice said. "I need to get better at this!"

There was the sound of someone getting up, and then…

"Ah! My shoes! I wonder who didn't clean up after their dog?-!"

There was some more running, and then the sound of trashcans falling over.

"Ahh, I think I just broke a toe!"

Negi and Misa sweatdropped at the sound of running and gagging. And then silence.

Misa finally tuned her eyes back to her teacher. "Let's get home ASAP!" she pleaded.

"Sorry, I can't!" Negi grabbed his staff and put on a resolute face. "I need to get to the bathhouse immediately!"

He marched a few steps forward before stopping abruptly and looking back at Misa, with no clue at all. "Where is the bathhouse, by the way?"

Misa facefaulted. "DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN A BATH SINCE YOU ARRIVED HERE!"

"Ehhhh, Chisame-san bathes me every morning at our room's shower!" the pint sized teacher protested against that insult to his hygiene (although it would have been true if he had it his way).

Misa gave him a stunned look. "She... bathes you...?"

"Yes."

"Washing all... over your body...?"

"Umm, yeah..." Negi started to feel uncomfortable once more for some reason.

Misa nearly drooled now. "Rubbing soap all over you...? All over those parts we never have seen...?"

"Pretty much, yes..." Negi lowered his face, blushing.

"While she's... naked herself...?" Misa was overheating now.

"No, she usually wears a swimsuit."

"USUALLY!"

"She also does it in her underwear at times," Negi explained.

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT MUCH BETTER! UNDERWEAR GETS SEETHROUGH WHEN WET, YOU KNOW!"

"I always close my eyes when water starts pouring in," Negi claimed. "Otherwise, shampoo gets in my eyes..."

Misa sighed, drooping. "Life is so unfair…Okay. Fine. Anyway, I'll show you the way to the baths."

"No, just tell me where they are! But I won't allow you to go!" Negi was much firmer than usual.

Chamo tugged on his pants with his mouth. "Call them, Bro," the ermine whispered.

Misa blinked. "What was that voice?"

"N-Nothing!" Negi quickly did a full face sweating.

"Call the Sisters. You'll need them," the whisper in the dark insisted.

"No, that was definitely someone's voice," the teenager said, looking around. "A man's? Sounded like a gay man hitting on you from somewhere..." she put her hands on his shoulders protectively.

"WHAT?-!" Chamo shouted. "I'M NOT GAY!"

The shout was so loud Misa couldn't help but identifying its source this time, looking down at the small animal with huge perplexed eyes. "Your weasel... talks, Negi-kun...?"

"Ooooops," Chamo weakly said, covering his mouth with his paws.

Tears began to run down Negi's cheeks.

Act Three:

Misa grabbed the ermine and picked him up, looking at his face carefully. "Oh, I get it. This is a ventriloquism trick, isn't it?"

"Y-Yes, it is! You found me out!" Chamo stiffly lifted a paw up, speaking in a falsetto that badly mimicked Negi's voice. "I'm Negi Springfield, your sexy young teacher! I'm just speaking through this even sexier ermine! Very cute, huh? I can lend him to you if you want! I even taught him how to rub your back while you're bathing; you should try it, it feels so wonderful..."

Misa narrowed her eyes. "... Right. I'd rather believe the ermine talks than believing Negi-kun would ever say that. WAIT A MINUTE!" she started yelling, shaking Chamo around. "THEN, WHEN YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME AT THE DRESSING ROOM-!"

"ANIMAL ABUSEEE!" Chamo abandoned all pretenses of normalcy, clutched by panic now. "PETA! Al Gore! Animal Man, help me!"

"K-Kakizaki-san, please, let him go!" Negi begged. "We don't have time to waste with this! Just point me over to the baths and I'll explain everything tomorrow!"

"Like heck!" the cheerleader pulled her cellphone out. "I'm going to call someone to report all this lunacy! Hmmm, wait, I don't know the numbers of any teachers... Maybe Konoka can link me with her Grandpa. And that stalker Asuna must have Takahata's..."

"NO! NOT THEM!" Negi and Chamo said at once.

She looked back at them, still creeped out by the fact a vermin was talking to her. "Why not?"

"It'd be my downfall! I'd be made into an ermine myself! No one must know I'm a mage!"

Misa gawked. "A what?"

"Drat! No good! I keep digging my own grave deeper...!" Negi turned around and began to softly sob. "I'm a failure at everything I do...!"

Misa gave them a quizzical look, as the small critter patted Negi's right leg soothingly. Dammit, this joke was well staged and bizarre as Hell. Misora had outdone herself, no doubt. For a moment even she had been fooled.

"Negi-kun," she finally said.

"What?" he sniffed.

"All you need is for me to show you the way to the baths, right? If I do that, you promise you'll explain everything to me tomorrow?"

"I do," he solemnly declared.

"Swear it on your English gentleman's honor?"

"Of course!"

She smiled. "Then I'll do it!"

She paused, eyeing Negi in concern as she realized something. "Um, you're not an 'English' gentleman, are you? I mean, you're not into hardwood instead of carpet, right…?"

Negi blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

Chamo whispered something to him and he reddened. "NO, OF COURSE I'M NOT!... Not that there's anything wrong with that…"

Misa smiled in relief. "Good to know… well, like I said, I'll help you!"

He finally smiled back, wiping tears off the corners of his eyes. "G-Good! Thanks! But you, in turn, have to promise you'll only lead me to the door! Then you'll turn around and leave for the safety of your dorm!"

"I swear by my grades," she swore, placing her right palm on her chest. Naturally, Negi failed to notice her other hand was behind her back, fingers crossed. And he really should have remembered her grades weren't so hot in any case…

"Just call on the Sisters already, Bro!" Chamo complained. "You'll have no chance against Loli Dracula without 'em!"

"They aren't ready yet!" Negi scowled. "They still need a lot more of practice! If I make them to fight now, I'll only get them hurt!"

"You are the one who isn't ready yet!" the ermine scolded him. "You blockhead! Those girls are going to suck you dry... and not in the good way!"

"I'll think of something. I'll make it work," Negi seriously promised, then put his staff between his legs, mounting it while grabbing the confused girl by a hand and pulling her right behind him. "Hold on tight, Kakizaki-san, please. You may feel some liftoff vertigo at first..."

"Liftoff?" she wondered while Chamo hopped onto her right shoulder, and her arms instinctively wrapped around Negi's waist. "What do you- WHOAAH!" she yelled as she felt the staff lifting the three of them up and abruptly into the air. "WHA-WHA-HOW-?-!-?-!"

Definitely a perfectly staged practical joke. It couldn't be only Misora behind it; that Suzumiya wacko from 1-E also had to be involved. Misa just knew it

Act Four:

It had been a very short flight, thankfully for Misa's heart; the awe of being (somehow) actually flying was still not enough to overcome her sheer terror over the strangeness of it all. Her teeth were still clattering like crazy by the time, less than two and a half minutes afterward, the staff safely landed in front of the bathhouse.

"Ahhh, so this is it?" Negi sounded like an amazed actual kid again, as he looked up and down at it. "It's so huge...! I can't believe I always missed it before. This campus has many places I still need to know."

Then his face straightened again. "You can go now, Kakizaki-san. Thanks. I'll handle everything from here."

She carefully dismounted the staff and crossed her arms, giving him a puzzled glare. "You sure you are going to do that?"

"Yes," he firmly nodded.

"Are you going to be in any risk?" she sounded concerned now.

"Maybe," he admitted.

"Yes, you sure will!" Chamo barked angrily. "And you'll have no one to blame but yourself!"

Misa sighed in defeat. "Whatever this is all about, I guess nothing I say to try and convince you will matter, right?"

Negi blinked. "Kakizaki-san, I-"

The girl only grabbed his face and gave him a kiss on a cheek. "For the good luck," she said.

He stammered with his biggest blush of the day. Which was saying something. "Th-Th-Thanks..."

She patted his head, then turned around, exhaled and began to walk away. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, then. Remember, it'd better be a good explanation!"

"Yes!" the boy said. "Be careful on your way home, please!" Then he inhaled deeply and reached for the front door. "Let's go, Chamo!"

The ermine mumbled miserably. "So many things left to do... Raising my children... Amassing my fortune... Stealing Shizuna-sensei's undies... All unfulfilled, all of them...!"

Negi was only half-surprised at seeing the door had been previously unlocked. Before stepping into the quiet darkness of the building, he summoned a tiny flame over his right hand, using it to lighten their way inside. He and his tiny friend walked with extreme caution at each step, keeping their senses in continued alert, expecting an attack at any moment. For the next few minutes, however, all they could see were unending empty corridors and locked doors at each turn.

Outside, Misa had waited until a prudent amount of time had passed before gulping loudly, then heading back over her steps and into the building, her heart thumping violently. She didn't know exactly why. She only wanted to know. To be sure of something, anything, again.

Mainly about him being okay after all.

Oblivious to her return, far ahead of her, Negi finally reached another open door. He walked in with his guard up and his staff ready, Chamo trembling and embracing his heels.

"Evangeline-san!" Negi called out. "I'm here as you wanted! Where are you? Let Kafuka-san go!"

"Over here, Boyo," a seductive, slow and sultry female voice came from the other end of the main bath he had walked into. Negi looked up at the top of a small summer hut next to the pool-like giant communal bath tub. Six female figures stood on its roof; one of them was Chachamaru, and four others were Kafuka and her classmates Kitsu Chiri, Hitou Nami and Kaga Ai. All of them wore identical French maid outfits, very similar to those of Ayaka's servants, but with much, much shorter skirts barely going past their crotches. Chachamaru was bare handed, but the human girls had different tools in their hands. Kafuka still had her knives. Chiri held a broom. Nami carried a large ax that seemed almost too big for her thin frame. Ai had a mop in a hand and a full bucket in the other.

Sitting lazily in the middle of them, a tall and buxom blond woman with sharp green eyes, wearing a barely there black dress that looked like a mix between leather underwear, S&M bondage, and flimsy silky negligee. She chuckled throatily, with an aloof amused expression on her face.

"Haven't you brought your friends along? Hu, hu, you have a lot of courage, coming here all alone..." she mocked him.

"All... alone...?" Chamo whined under his breath, crushed under the burden of his lack of weight in the plot yet again.

The young teacher, meanwhile, looked up at the scantily clad temptress in fascinated awe. "Ah! You! You are-!"

The blond woman smirked. "Yes...?"

"You are breaking the school's dressing and decency codes!" Negi pointed an accusing finger at her. "And who are you? Identify yourself!"

The woman fell on her face, suddenly losing all of her prior grace. She jumped back to her feet and made a cloud to smoke to go up in a puff all over herself. When the smoke cleared out, the diminutive Evangeline, wearing the exact same outfit, which now covered a lot more skin (although not enough for her to stop looking rather risqué for someone of that apparent age) stood there angrily pointing at herself.

"IT'S ME, YOU CRETIN! ME!"

"Aaaah, sorry!" Negi said, with his eyes much wider. "Now I remember! That's how you looked in your memories!"

"Good evening, Negi-sensei," Chachamaru bowed respectfully to the newcomers.

"Good evening to you too, Chachamaru-san," Negi bowed back.

"G-Good evening, Negi-sensei," Kaga Ai clumsily repeated Chachamaru's action. "I'm sorry to break the curfew, but I promise we'll head right back home as soon as you're a bloodless dried husk!"

"How is Hakase-san doing, Sensei?" the robot asked.

He replied quickly. "Well... I think she still misses you a lot. I think you should get together and talk your differences out; she cares deeply about you, even if she won't admit it..."

"I see," the robot nodded before tossing him a small bag. He caught it up easily. "Could you please deliver those cookies to her after the Master has drained all your blood? They are her favorites. They also come with an apology note."

"Sure," he nodded. "I'll be glad to."

Chiri's eyebrows quivered dangerously despite the easygoing peace of mind the vampiric trance usually implied. "Isn't that... an impossible feat to perform... after he's been fully drained of his vital fluids...?"

"AHEM!" Eva coughed. "WE SHOULD BE ABOUT TO START A BATTLE TO DEATH HERE, EVERYONE!"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!" Ai bowed profusely at her new Master. "It's all my fault! I'll understand if I must be punished cruelly! As a matter of fact, I'll do it myself so you don't have to waste your efforts on a person as miserable as me! I-"

"JUST GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE AND WAIT FOR THE SIGNAL!" Evangeline barked at her.

"... Yes, Master. Sorry," the girl whimpered pitifully. "Sorry!"

Evangeline sighed. "I knew I should have gone for the stalker instead. Or the bandaged girl. Even the mute midget with the cellphone mania... or hell, another class all together. I hear 2-C is relatively sane…"

Act Five:

"I regret not being able to wait until the full moon," Evangeline regained her playful, cruel smirk. "But there's really no point on extending your agony period that much. We'd better solve our little issues right now. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I understand..." Negi said while standing his ground. "It's logical you'd prefer to strike while you still have an edge. But I won't allow it. For your own good, I'll stop this insanity tonight, and set you back on the right track!"

"Ah, ha ha ha!" Eva laughed out loud. "You truly don't know anything about life! Do you really think your childish bravado will impress me? Far better men have tried to stop me and failed miserably. As it is, I don't even have to handle you personally. My slaves!" she snapped her fingers. "Get him!"

"Yes, Master!" Chiri jumped down with amazing elasticity.

"For Great Justiceeeee!" Kafuka giggled while jumping after her.

"Sorry about this! I'll try my humble best!" Kaga nervously promised as she joined the attack.

Nami tried to think of a fitting battle cry for a moment, failed, then only jumped down with a sigh. "I just want to be abnormal…?-!" she tried, too late for it to be suitably dramatic.

Only Chachamaru remained still and waiting next to her mistress as the other girls landed with a splash at the middle of the bath, with the water up to barely above her feet. The four of them quickly converged in a semicircle around the boy.

"You're messy. Your shirt is asymmetrical. Your hair's too long both for a child and a teacher. Your right shoe's untied. Your fly is open. You need to be punished," Chiri rapidly droned while swinging her broom around. The young mage ducked in time under it, only to have to step aside immediately when the girl brought the broomstick down in another attempt to hit him. "Unruly. Improper. Undisciplined!"

"E-Eva-san, you're a coward!" he stammered while rolling away against a wall. "Manipulating innocents into doing your dirty work...!"

"Would you expect honor from an evil sorceress?" Evangeline taunted him from above. "Then you're even dumber than I thought! I expected you to notice I'm above such petty concerns by now!"

"Below them, you mean..." the child ran for a better position as he avoided Nami's ax strikes; he noticed the short haired slave seemed to be holding just short back of actually aiming for killing blows, and Chachamaru's quiet but stern watching from above seemed to confirm that; but still, it was too close for comfort. "Hitou-san, please drop that thing! You could hurt yourself! A normal girl like you shouldn't-"

"DON'T SAY 'NORMAL'!" Nami cried out. "I'm sick of being normal! For years, since kindergarten, I never was special! Only run-of-the-mill! Mediocre! Simple and boring!" she growled, years of pented-up frustration finally erupting out as she madly chopped around. "I'm tired of that! I'd even prefer being a vampire!"

"Show him no mercy, my servants!" Eva commanded. "Strip that little chicken bare!"

The four girls paused for a moment.

"S-strip him bare?" Ai asked.

"Isn't that indecent?" Chiri's insane properness core still fought against the vampiric conditioning. "We are no pedophile perverts like 2-A!"

"No offense intended," Ai quickly added.

Eva ran a hand over her own face. "This is what comes from not biting competent help…"

Kafuka, in the meanwhile, had sneaked up behind Negi and caught him up in a tight bear embrace, giggling as she tried to get his shirt off. "Strip the little birdie, let's see the birdie..." she sang while he attempted to escape kicking and screaming.

"NO! NO! NOT THAT! PLEASE, NO! LET ME GO...!" He frantically looked into his pockets; for the last few days, he had saved a few tricks in the event of a surprise ambush, but now he was so nervous he barely remembered them. Finally he found what he was looking for, fishing it out and tossing it up into the air.

Kafuka paused, briefly looking at the tiny bottle rolling in midair before her face. "Flans Exarmatio!" Negi yelled, and the bottle exploded into her nose, the blast tossing her a few steps back and also blowing most of the clothes off her torso. Otherwise she was unhurt, only coughing and slightly dizzy.

"*Cough, cough*! Ahhhh, Negi-kun...!" she lamented while looking down at herself, but making no attempt to cover herself. "I wasn't supposed to be the naked one!"

Negi ignored her, basically choosing to run away, taking a quick mental note on finding a way to avoid having to look at so many of his students in so many states of undressing. Chamo, on the other hand, just stood frozen in place and staring with wide shiny eyes.

"That's unacceptable!" a scandalized Chiri made a beeline for Negi, broom firmly in hand, taking a few more swings at him, most of them dodged until a lucky shot hit him squarely in the face and sent him barreling against a wall. "Enemy of all women! I, Kitsu Chiri, will put a stop to your sinful ways!"

"Sorry to be so useless in battle!" Ai sniffed, clumsily approaching while attempting not to spill her bucket down. "It's my fault this is taking so long!"

Nami also zeroed in, the three girls surrounding Negi while Kafuka stayed behind laughing dumbly. The young teacher gulped helplessly, furiously running escape plans at full speed in his head. But every situation he could think of ended with either some of the girls or himself hurt...

Then, a voice.

It chanted what he recognized as a magic activation release, from the sudden spike of magical energy in the air. He also could feel a, by now familiar, dark aura faintly washing all over the place. It smelt of rancid, decaying despair, and an unending, quiet sadness without equal.

"Bure, bure bure bure bure bure..." the male voice said, and an abrupt spiral of an invisible force sprang up pushing the students away from the Welsh teacher.

"AIIIIEEEE!" Nami shrieked.

"Oh no!" Ai hugged the bucket to prevent it from spilling out. "I can't make a mess on the floor! I'll be scolded! And fairly! It all will be my fault!"

"Who dares-!" Faithful to the old traditions to the end, Chiri spat the old cliche out.

But Eva just stared calmly, arms crossed, at the tall and lanky figure who had just showed up at the bath's back door. Dressed in his eternal hakama and wooden sandals, with a very old and musty wooden ruler in a hand, dark magic flowing out of it in spirals of blackness. "Ah. Despair," she snorted.

"Itoshiki-sensei..." Negi breathed out.

The older teacher took his head back and sighed melodramatically. "This will end in tears," he loudly lamented. "Mine!"

Act Six:

Silently sneaking into the communal bath with the stealth earned from years of spying on others for fresh gossip, Kakizaki Misa witnessed, open mouthed, a chain of events she never would have believed possible ever before.

First, just as soon as she had slid in behind everyone's backs, cowering behind a huge marble pillar, she had managed to see the tall sexy blonde at the top of the summer hut changing into Evangeline. Then the 2-F idiots had jumped on Negi-kun, seemingly trying their darn best to kill him. At that point Misa did try to call for help, but for some reason her cellphone had just died on her, as if something had cut its signal down. Then Itoshiki-sensei had shown up to save Negi-kun, displaying a weird magic of sorts against his own students.

It all was enough to make Misa to believe her sanity was slipping, big time. She quietly prayed someone had just slipped her some illegal thing into her drink at the movie theater, and she'd be alright by morning. But she wouldn't bet on it.

It all made a turn for the even worse when she realized Chachamaru had spotted her. Evangeline seemed too busy looking at Negi and Nozomu to care about anything else, but Chachamaru was only creepily staring straight into the purple haired girl's direction, not saying a single word, but obviously keeping her even, cold gaze on her. Misa shuddered, feeling herself caught with no way out. Should she try to run away? Would Chachamaru allow that? Even if she did, wouldn't the others realize her presence if she moved now?

Itoshiki's sandals calmly clacked against the floor as the man walked ahead, his head hanging low, the aura around himself shifting and swirling like a living beast. "There is a single good thing about being a pessimist," he began. "You're always right. The Dean and Takahata said there was no point on hunting for you. No doubt they believed your raids had stopped. But I knew better, Evangeline-san! A monster will always be a monster. And now, all these sleepless nights of prowling around waiting for your move have paid off! All those scratches from stray cats, bites from stray dogs, and sexual harassing from stray invading bums, were worth it just to see I was right!"

Evangeline yawned. "You finished now?"

Nozomu paused thoughtfully and nodded, panting just a bit after his tirade.

"Are you sure?" the undead mage insisted. "I know how much you like to rant..."

"As do you. Your turn," Itoshiki offered chivalrously.

"Thanks," Eva said in a flat tone before rasping and entering Evil Ham territory again. "MWA HA HA HA! Hopeless simpleton! Pathetic insect! Do you underestimate me enough to compare your meager powers with mine, or are you that willing to beg for your final release? Never mind; I shall not be your adversary."

She pointed a hand at him. "My minions! I know how you lust for this sorry excuse for a man, so release your most secret passions upon him!"

Chamo was banging his head against a wall. "And they call him unlucky!"

Itoshiki stared blankly. "... Lust?"

"... Lust?" Negi echoed, just as lost as him, though in a different way. "What's 'lust'? Itoshiki-sensei, what does 'lust' mean?"

Itoshiki froze. "Ask Takamichi!"

From her hiding place, Misa was similarly perplexed. Even after the flight on a stick, the taking ferret, the vampire witch and someone trying to cut Negi with an ax, the fact someone could have the hots for Despair-sensei was the oddest thing that day had to offer.

However, the four girls seemed all for it. With a fascinated, morbid interest they hadn't shown for Negi (confirming, in Misa's opinion, that they obviously had bad taste), they dashed from their separate directions to encircle Itoshiki, their eyes shining in red hues.

"Itoshiki-sensei..." Chiri huskily crooned.

"Let's play doctor, Sensei..." Kafuka cooed. "Or let's play house. Or Doctor House...!"

"K-Kafuka-san, please cover yourself!" the man averted his gaze, blushing bright crimson. "Being a bloodthirsty soulless fiend is no excuse for exhibitionism!"

"S-S-Sorry, but we can't let you go..." Ai meekly stammered.

"If I rip your heart off and keep it as a memento of love on my nightdesk, I won't be normal anymore, will I?" Nami asked with patent hope in her voice.

"For your class' standards?" Nozomu cringed. "Maybe."

"Itoshiki-sensei, hold on! I'll help you!" Negi raced after them, only to be stopped by the sound of Evangeline's boastful laughter.

"Ho ho ho ho! No, Boyo, you'll be playing a different kind of game!" As she spoke, a huge flock of black bats flew all around her, converging upon her shoulders to melt all together forming a huge black cape for her. "Are you ready? Chachamaru!" she commanded.

"Yes, Master," the robot whispered before flying down in a swift swoop, cannon-balling towards the boy. He jumped back just in time to avoid her right fist, which cracked a hole on the piece of floor where he had stood a second before. "I apologize, Negi-sensei. Perhaps after this I can make it up to you. Would you like to learn martial arts? Tantric positioning, perhaps? Wait, forget that last part. It must have been a bug in my programming."

Still standing above, Eva stretched her arms open and shouted, "Li La Lalac Li Lilac! Septendecium Spiritus Glaciales Coeuntes Inimicum Concidant!"

Immediately, and just as Chachamaru charged ahead again, seventeen bolts of flying ice arched up from Eva and targeted Negi, flying at a dizzying speed looking for his body. Misa gasped and even stood back as she saw her teacher barely dodging a few that froze the floor and the walls they hit, batting a few others away with his staff and jumping over others, all the while escaping Chachamaru's insistent pursuit.

Nozomu was too busy barely surviving Kafuka's tosses of knives still safely stocked in her pantyhose, Nami's ax and Chiri's broomstick, which swatted and swatted, every hit coming closer to its mark. And Evangeline only smirked maliciously like a delighted ringmaster from hell. Finally, the blonde reached out with an outstretched hand and shouted, "Sagitta Magica, Series Glacialis!"

An array of floating ice arrows appeared over her hand, shooting themselves at Negi, flying around Chachamaru without touching her. Most of them missed their target, but one of them hit Negi's right shoulder, leaving a slight cold wound and pushing him back against a large window. Another one hit him in a leg with similar results, pushing him further back, so violently his body broke through the window and he fell out and down into the darkness of the night, with a scream.

"NEGI-KUN!" Forgetting everything else, Misa ran into the open, terrified and aghast.

"Negi-Sensei!" Itoshiki struggled to hold Chiri's broomstick at bay. "No! You can't die before ME, like everyone else! There's no fairness in this world!"

Maybe as some sort of divine karma, Chiri made a bullseye on his head with her next strike. "... Ouch!"

Act Seven:

For a moment, Negi lost all awareness and briefly plummeted into a black state of total mental disconnection as he plummeted down to certain doom. However, right when Chachamaru was about to jump out the window for a save, he opened his eyes back and grasped his staff, willing it to fly up right before reaching the ground.

Holding onto it, he ascended, managing to climb on top of it, to mount it ignoring the intense pain in his wounded leg. Standing at the window's edge, Evangeline smirked while seeing him flying away. "Hm. Not that bad. More endurance than I thought," she mused. "Most grown men can't even move after being hit by a single arrow. Still, he'll be an easy prey after this. Chachamaru! After him!" she said as she jumped out as well amidst a hundred shrieks of black bats, quickly gaining height in her aerial pursuit.

Chachamaru gave the stunned, pale Misa a brief gaze, mostly to see if she was okay, before her feet activated its rockets impulsing her into the air after her tiny mistress. "Yes, Master."

"Wait, you two! Wait!" Kakizaki tried to run after her, stopping at the window, her long purple hair flowing in the icy breeze. "What the hell are you trying to do to Negi-kun!"

Chamo came to her side, shaking his head. "It's terrible, Sis! Terrible! Evangeline there is a vampire, and she won't stop until she has drunk the Bro's blood! I don't know what to do! Looks like nothing can stop her!"

"D-Don't shit me!" she cursed, shuddering past anything she ever thought possible. "This is too much for me to buy it! Who's voicing you? Why do you keep saying 'Bro'? Are you Neil Patrick Harris? How did you get enough budget for this crazy stunt? And why to waste it on pranking me?-!"

"Get real, Sis!" the ermine shouted angrily. "Don't you think this is all too large scoped to be only a joke? Get with the program if you want to help me save the Bro!"

"Saving Negi-kun?" the girl's face twitched uncontrollably. "B-But how?-! I have no special talents, nothing that could help him now-"

"That can be fixed!" Chamo waved a paw up and down. "I'll explain everything on our way there! You with me, yes or not?"

Misa gave Itoshiki-sensei a very brief doubtful glare. "Despair-sensei, what about you?"

"I'll be..." Itoshiki said while pinballing between walls after another precise strike of Chiri's broom, "... okay! Really, just..." he continued as Ai intercepted him with a mop to the head, "... do your best for him! I'll hold..." he gurgled after Kafuka kicked him in the head, "... my students here for you in the meanwhile!"

"Umm, alright," the 2-A student hummed while trotting for the door. "Yeah. Some advice; do try to fight back, will you? Girls tend to prefer men with a spine..."

"I'll take it in account..." the teacher blandly promised right before being sent bouncing against a wall. "Owww. Too much for that spine. I do believe now I have four of them..."

Misa was just glad the psycho maids were too focused on their sensei to even attempting to stop her from leaving. "Well, and how do you suggest we find Negi-kun?" she asked Chamo, as they both ran out of the building. "For that matter, how can we reach him before he's street pizza?"

"Leave that to me!" the ermine replied. "I can feel both the smell and the magical presence of the Bro no matter where he is! That way!" he sprinted ahead, towards the East. "If we're lucky, we'll reach him either before he's a dry corpse, or after the devil duo has left!"

"... You aren't exactly the best pet a boy could hope for, did you know that?" Misa clenched her teeth while following him. If that was a showing of what Chisame and the Prof had to deal with in a routine basis, she had a new-found admiration for them.

Meanwhile, several streets of distance ahead, the witch and the robot closed in at breakneck speed, Negi's staff barely keeping a safe distance by now. His head felt like it was boiling from the inside, even as the wounds on his shoulder and leg felt so chilly they threatened to numb his limbs down. He had believed it'd be better for Itoshiki-sensei if he lured the attention away from him, but did he have the right idea? He couldn't even think straight anymore. He felt feverish and nauseous, the world a blur around him, and not only because of his flight speed. Had he heard Kakizaki-san's voice back there as he was falling? He couldn't be sure. Only one half-rational thought filled his mind now.

The bridge. Gotta reach the bridge.

He still could notice Evangeline sending more Ice Arrows after him, and he forced his right arm to react. Pulling an old, rusty artifact out of his pants, he took aim, remembered Mana's words on concentration to use his skills, and shot the Arrows zooming at him. Much to his relief, the blasts of pure magic hit all their targets, making them to harmlessly explode in midair.

"My, my. A magical gun?" Eva mused. "You don't see many of those lately. It must have costed him a small fortune..."

"From my time cohabiting with Negi-sensei, I gathered data on his hobby of collecting magical oddities," Chachamaru dutifully informed. "All projectiles destroyed. Will you try again?"

"Never with the same trick twice," her mistress smiled, then brought her hands up. "Nivis Casus!" she shouted, summoning a small storm of snow all over the child.

"Arrrgh!" Negi screamed as he lost balance, then zoomed down making a bad landing amidst some barely cushioning bushes. Even then, he recovered quickly, limping stubbornly toward the nearby suspension bridge. The shadows of the ground below offered him some cover as he scurried away like a wounded animal.

"Ah ha ha ha!" Evangeline laughed. "It's like hunting a little rabbit!"

"Master," Chachamaru was not exactly amused, "We'd better not extend this anymore. We aren't left with that much time to finish it..."

"All right, all right," the immortal bloodsucker sighed. "I'll be merciful and give him a quick coup-de-grace." Her sharp eyes scanned the ground below. "Just let me see where's he now..."

Running with no pause, panting softly and sticking as close to the buildings and walls as he could, trying to find cover at each turn, Negi knew he had to take a different approach. He couldn't take an unbound Evangeline on even terms. He needed another edge. But what...? What...?

Mana's words rang in his head again.

"Sensei, you have people around you that can be of more help to you than me. Look closer around yourself, and you'll find what you look for. Trust your friends".

"Girls..." he hoarsely whispered. "Please forgive me..."

With a trembling hand, he reached into his shirt for the closer card to his heart. He felt its warmth as his fingers grasped it, as if its power was calling out for him. It was almost as warm as the sleeping embrace of Chisame herself.

He pulled it out in a single swift motion. It seemed to faintly glow between his fingers as the silver moonlight hit upon it.

'Idolum Virtuale'

He pressed the card's edge against his forehead and closed his eyes, allowing his thoughts to flow into the Pactio instrument.

Chisame-san? Chisame-san, please... I... I think I may need help...

Act Eight:

There was not much for them to do, alone at the darkness, than sitting there waiting for him.

I mean, yeah, Hakase was itching to put her hands on some machinery and start tinkering with it as usual, but even she couldn't do that in the middle of a complete blackness (at least not in around seventy percent of the attempts. She had taken self studies on it. Only three out of ten times did she end up with any level of success. Every other time she ended making a shapeless mess, a toy monkey playing drums, a tubular thing that was only good for turning screws with sonic waves, or some strange two-ended buzzing thing she always dumped onto Haruna's doorstep. Haruna never seemed to complain). And she could have looked for a lamp or lantern around to help her with the task, but after stumbling and falling thrice in her search, Chisame had convinced her to stop it and just sit down with her on the top bunk. To wait.

"We really need to buy him a cellphone," Hasegawa quietly mused, her legs dangling off the bed's edge.

"If you're so concerned, why not to call him using the Pactio cards?" Satomi proposed. "Chamo-san said they could be used with communication purposes."

"Yeah, because Misa won't suspect anything magical in nature when she notices his card's bleeping or whatever it does when we call him," Chisame pointed out in turn. "She may be a cheerleader, but she isn't THAT dumb."

"Point," Hakase sulked.

"I wonder what they are doing," Chisame muttered bitterly.

"What do you mean?" the scientist innocently asked.

"Well, you know!" her roommate waved a hand around. "I've never trusted Kakizaki. She knows no shame, and you know it."

"Do I?" Satomi blinked without a clue.

Chisame sighed. "Forgive me. I forgot I was talking with you."

"If you were so convinced of Kakizaki-san's dubious moral condition, why would you allow her to walk away alone with Negi-sensei?" Hakase questioned.

"What did you expect me to do? To slap her around and put a restriction order on her?" the hacker snarked before pausing, somewhat allured by the idea. "It may sound very, very good in theory, but-"

"I could inject mind altering nanobots in her bloodstream," the genius offered.

Chisame looked half horrified, half tempted by the notion. "Could you actually do that?"

Hakase shrugged. "I have the schematics. I haven't tested it on lab animals yet, but now that we have Chamo-san..."

Hasegawa nodded vaguely. "Sounds like a plan. A monstrous, best left untouched one, but... Tell you what; we'll consider it if she doesn't bring him back before midnight."

"Deal."

Chisame ruffled her hair almost fondly. "That's my friend."

Then, however, both of them tensed, feeling something radiating from under Chisame's pillow. It was a strange sensation, like that of a living, pulsing warm heart sending a signal for them, especially Chisame. It felt a lot like the Pactio kiss, as well. Confused, biting her lower lip, the brown haired teen reached under the pillow and pulled her Card out. The sensation was even stronger now, almost burning in touch with her hand.

"I believe it's a message," Hakase reverently whispered.

"H-How do I answer?" Chisame cringed, fearing the worst now.

"Chamo-san told me how it works. You have to touch it with your forehead. My theory is, after that, the influx of what I call, for a lack of a better term, Magitrons, that is, particles of so-called 'magical' energy in a sub-molecular level, have an easier access into your central nervous system, passing through the skin and skull and directly into the brain cells, where they display-"

"Why didn't he tell me about it?-!" Chisame angrily cut the expo-speak out while placing her card on her own forehead.

"He did," Satomi said. "You were too busy updating your page."

"Oh," Hasegawa blinked right before Negi's voice faintly reached her mind, not her ears. "Sensei? Is that really you?"

Hakase curiously observed how her roommate's eyes widened in shock. "Evangeline?-!" Chisame gasped.

"Is Chachamaru with them?" Satomi eagerly asked.

Chisame gestured for her to be quiet. "Are you okay? No, tell me the truth! I know that tone of yours! It's the one you always use when you try feigning innocence, you little creep! What? Two times! Oh my God! You need a doctor! To hell with your secret, you could lose your life!"

"What is he saying? What is he saying?" Hakase bugged her until Hasegawa just pressed a hand over her mouth.

"The suspension bridge? Are you sure? Yeah. Yeah! Okay, we won't tell anyone! On our way!"

Chisame lowered the card with a haunted expression hanging on her face. "We also can call each other with these things, can't we?"

"Yes, we can. Why?"

"We need to reach Kasuga. And you'd better bring that speedster gizmo of yours again." She looked noticeably freen at the thought.

Act Nine:

Misora slept lying on her stomach, mouth wide open and tongue half hanging out, two slight blobs of saliva making puddles over it. Cocone quietly slept in the lower bunk, cuddled against her pillow, hugging it tightly.

That was until the strange faint glow and the unmistakable magical pulse began to radiate from Misora's night desk. Cocone immediately opened her eyes, her pupils going straight to the source of the sudden disturbance. Her friend above stirred a bit, but otherwise only shifted around in the covers and buried her face into her Liddo-kun pillow.

Cocone exhaled the briefest hint of a sigh before sitting up, then standing up, fixing her long thick nightshirt, her bare little feet softly tapping against the carpet as she walked. She easily located the exact origin of the pulse, opening a drawer and pulling the Card from between the pages of Misora's Neo Horizon English book. Fitting, actually. Without missing a beat, the small girl walked back to the bunks, climbing up to Misora's bed, poking her friend's ribs with a finger.

"Nnnh. Too early," Misora grunted, her voice slurring, pulling apart from the poking finger. "Lemme sleep."

"Your Magister calls," Cocone softly whispered. Now that was enough to wake the older apprentice in the spot.

"S-Say what?-!" Misora sprang up in shock, tightening the pillow against her chest. "Muh-Muh-Magister?-! That's some dream you were having! I don't have... any..."

Unfazed, Cocone just held the card right before her face.

Misora just stared at it with a blush and a frozen face before helplessly offering, "I'm sure that's another Kasuga Misora."

"It's your duty," the smaller girl said, in a still very low, but somewhat more strict and stern, tone. "Honor it."

"C-Cocone-chan..." Misora fidgeted shamefully while accepting the card, "Sorry, I... I wanted to tell you, but... the right moment hadn't-"

"Just answer," the child calmly urged her.

"Y-Yeah..." Being wiser to the ways of magic than Chisame and Hakase, she immediately placed the card's edge against her forehead. Hasegawa's voice then screamed into her mind.

FINALLY! What the Hell took you so long?-!

"Some of us do sleep, Miss Internet Zombie!" Misora yelled back, as Cocone quietly sat down next to her, her telepathy sense easily picking on the whole conversation. "What happened?"

Evangeline is chasing Sensei around! He just called me. We're getting ready to go help him, and you'd better drag your butt here with us before it's too late!

"Wait, what?-!" the nun in training blinked. "How did you guys allow that to happen? You're supposed to be his guardians! What were you doing, too busy dressing up and playing Virtual Idol to care?-!"

No one was expecting an attack so soon! Certainly not you, either! Look, we'll argue later, but right now, he needs us! He told me he'd be at the suspension bridge, so let's head straight there. Now!

"Wait, there must be something-!" Misora began to protest, but then the communication was cut out. The young apprentice hunched over ahead, with wide round eyes, cold sweat all over her, and a panicked face. "I'm not ready for that! I'm gonna get killed! It was a short, unfulfilling life..." she whined. "I DON'T WANNA DIE A VIRGIN!"

"I'll help you," Cocone said.

"What?" Misora snapped out of her funk a bit. "Oh, no, absolutely not! I like you and all, Cocone-chan, and I think you're great, but I-I uh, I don't really swing... that is, your too young! It would be illegal for us to-"

"Help you deal with Evangeline," Cocone said, an unspoken 'baka' hanging in the air.

"Oh, no, no. no way! If you die too, Sister Shakti will just deny me burial on sacred ground and throw my ashes into the sea! Then she'll find some way to bring me back just so she can kill me herself, and use my skull as some kind of paperweight!"

Cocone put one of her small hands on hers. "Please."

The older girl made a confused, embarrassed face. "But... after I kept this secret from you..."

"I already suspected."

"What?-!" Misora jerked back. "But how...?"

"You were spending too long away... with classmates you never before were close to..."

Misora's guilt feeling grew larger. "I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to..."

Cocone just climbed down with ease and began to put her veil on. "We're in a hurry."

"You really sure you want to go...?"

A brief nod. "That's what friends do."

The other girl nodded, silently impressed by her resolve. Her hands still were trembling in fear, but just a little less now. She would need to protect her Cocone-chan. And Negi-kun.

She held the card high, drew in a very deep breath, and said in a clearer voice,

"Adeat."

The Bathhouse:

"I've just had an idea!" Kafuka piped in while throwing another panty-showing kick in Nozomu's direction, one he barely managed to dodge with a clumsy move that was more of a fall back than anything else. "If we split Sensei in four parts, we all will get to keep him!"

"Four equal pieces?" Chiri's eyes glinted in approval. "Brilliant thinking, Kafuka-san! Now all we need is a measuring tape and a lawyer to properly redact our terms of division of estate..."

"Kaere-chan knows an excellent legal firm!" Kafuka further cheered up.

"What? What?" Nozomu helplessly babbled while rolling back, Nami's ax almost chopping his hair off. "Am I nothing but a communal property now? Will this degrade my already laughable market value?"

"Don't be so picky about your situation, please, Sensei. You offend us," Chiri scoffed while whacking him across the face and against a corner. "You should count yourself lucky to have our attentions, you know. If you insist on despising and mocking our sincere affections, we might be forced to truly go harsh on you!"

"Your 'affections' are nothing but murder attempts!" the man yelled out.

"That's a very cruel thing to say," Chiri briefly looked aside, with a hurt expression. "We're in an age where our blooming passions are very painful and difficult to express naturally. A truly loving man would just think of a way to accept our efforts without crushing all our hopes for the future... Besides, shouldn't you of all people find that hot?"

"I'm not a loving man, I'm a teacher! Years of underpaid labor serving the needs of the young and the unruly have killed my heart off!"

The long haired girl fumed. "If not because of your heart, then because of your sense of duty! It's improper to damage a loving maiden's feelings like that! Don't you fancy yourself a gentleman?"

"Alas, sadly, no!" Itoshiki slumped down like a battered ragdoll. "Since my birth, I have failed the expectations everyone has ever placed upon me! I failed to become the heir my family needed! I failed to become popular among my peers ever since kindergarten! Then I was rejected by the cool team of hot blooded adventures I had admired since my childhood after reaching my teen years! Time after time, I met nothing but failure at taking my own life, despite everyone's wishes, especially mine! And then, not only did I end up taking the most despair inducing job in existence, but I was assigned to teach your class instead of a decent one!"

Chiri had looked almost actually moved through most of that rant, until the last sentence mad her eyes to glow in red again. "You know..." she hissed. "When we claim your body, we'll definitely need to take the tongue off..."

She failed to notice the small but compact swirling field of black energy gathering itself in a spiral around Itoshiki's right fist, powering it up, until it suddenly raised itself up, knocking her up across the chin and sending her flying a few steps back with her eyes fully white, knocking her down and out in a single punch.

"GAH!" Itoshiki looked at his treacherous fist. "This is unforgivable! Once more, my cowardly body betrays me! What have I done? I've just struck an innocent, nubile student whose only sin was attempting to help me get rid of my worthless life! I'm a shame to myself and all of mankind! I'M IN DESPAIR!" he screamed. "MY SELF-PRESERVATION PRIMAL INSTINCTS HAVE LEFT ME IN OUT OF CHARACTERNESS *AND* DESPAIR!"

The three other girls simply stared at each other in puzzled silence for a few moments, until Ai shyly asked, "Umm... Sorry about my selfishness, but with Kitsu-san out, does this mean we'll only have to split Sensei between the three of us now?"

Nami smirked, her grip on the ax's handle tightening with eagerness. "You can't argue with Math..."

"Errrr, I'm a Classic Lit teacher, remember...?" Itoshiki gave a few steps aside, vainly looking for the exit. "For Math, you'll be better looking for Ririko Kagome-san..."

"We'll cope with what we have at hand..." Nami licked her lips before jumping on him.

A girlish scream filled the night. Itoshiki's.

Act Ten:

Wiping some last remnants of snow and ice from his cheeks, Negi spurred himself to run a few blocks more, hoping to reach the river in time. Unfortunately, just as he was seeing the bridge almost at his reach, he also could hear the chilling female laughter from above.

"Ha ha ha ha! Is running away all you're good for, Boyo? Can't you toss even throw a single sad spell at me?"

He had been spotted! Never stopping, he watched over his shoulder, to look up at the pair of aerial figures hovering above, almost catching up to him. Evangeline had an outstretched hand up, charging power on it for another strike.

"Veniant Spiritus Glaciales, Extendatur Aeri..." she chanted ominously. "Tundram et Glaciem Loci Noctis Albae!"

Another ice-related conjuration, he noticed ever before feeling how all the already scarce heat of their surroundings seemed to be sucked up and out of the air itself, leaving only a freezing and uncomfortable sensation of extreme coldness washing over the ground. And then, she projected her hand down, screaming,

"CRYSTALLIZATIO TELLUSTRIS!"

Then gigantic pikes of thick ice fell from above, nailing themselves down into the ground, cracking it open and causing a small tremor all around, enough to shake Negi off his feet and make him to fall flat on his right side, hurting himself in the arm holding the staff.

"Ah!" he gasped, trying to roll around to minimize the impact. It didn't work much, but he at least avoided hitting his head, and he could quickly stand back, panting and wheezing, backing away until his feet reached the suspension bridge. He continued walking back, slowly, warily, while the vampiress and her servant softly landed on their feet at the end of the bridge.

"A basic, yet decent strategy for a coward," Eva dryly mocked. "Attempting to escape beyond the limits of the Academy, where I'm unable to wander out. Don't you think it's a very pathetic plan, Sensei...?"

He hardened his glare as much as he could. "Not much worse than hiding behind slaves."

"HAH! Finally, you show some galls. But too little, too late," the small blonde said. "This game has been moderately fun, but not anymore. You can't escape Chachamaru, and if you attempt to run away, she'll simply catch you and deliver you to me. So I offer you a last mercy. Come here willingly, and prove you are a man after all. Surrender to your destiny with some dignity. Then, and only then, I'll make your defeat a quick and painless one."

He didn't move. "No."

Evangeline smiled, noticing he was assuming a clumsy fighting stance. "You do have some strange notions of courage. Choosing to run and choosing to fight, both at the absolute worst moments. Oh, well," she sighed and snapped her fingers. "Chachamaru, please..."

"Yes... Master," the gynoid gave a step ahead.

"S-Stay back!" Negi stammered. "I'm not a believer on corporal punishment on students, but-!"

"Try us," Evangeline challenged.

"Aer Derma, Sacicienda Eson Blem!" the boy waved his staff, creating a huge wall of hot air that blew part of the ice spikes all across both students, just as he rushed ahead aiming for the spot between them.

"Umbrale Nautica!" he added, no summoning a large invisible bubble of compacted, hurricaned air that hrew them both off balance, allowing him to pass by running between them, attempting to rush back between the buildings of the campus. However, the unliving mage recovered very quickly, projecting another spell upon him, her hands glowing in a ghostly whiteish hue.

"Lukurakura Dakurakura Sofi Negi Spiritus!"

Immediately, he felt himself faltering, falling on his stomach and gasping for air. His wounds ached even more now, as well as his right arm, making nearly impossible for him to move. He still attempted to worm away, muttering between clenched teeth, "That's a... forbidden spell of personal damage, isn't it?"

Mc Dowell nodded. "It strikes the whole body through the spirit residing it. It consumes a lot of magical energy, but luckily, I'm overflowing with it tonight. Leave it to me, Chachamaru," she asked, giving a step towards him and away from the bridge. "Now he's headed this way, he wasted his only slight chance to elude me." She opened her mouth, fangs glinting dangerously. She floated up and threw herself at him. "You're all mine, son of the Thousand Master!"

However, Chachamaru tensed immediately, attempting to reach and grab her cape with a hand at the last moment, barely missing it. "Master, no! Beware!"

Eva had not even heard her, but she did notice the cause of her alarm. Someone had just jumped out of the nearby shadows to quickly stand before the fallen boy with her arms extended around, shielding him and forcing the Mistress of Puppets to make a sudden, violent last second change of direction, nearly crashing against a tree. She landed in the grass, jerking her head up to look at the newcomer with rage filled eyes. "You...?"

Negi looked up at his unlikely savior with a mix of fear and agitation. "Ku-Kakizaki-san..?"

Ironically firm on shaky legs, the girl with the purple hair gulped loudly without leaving her current pose. "You okay, Negi-kun?"

Act Eleven:

"Kakizaki Misa..." Evangeline dragged the words in a hiss, standing upright to shoot her an acerbic stare. "Why are you here? Is there anyone with you?"

Misa said nothing, keeping herself still even if nervous under the shorter girl's glare.

"Kakizaki-san, please..." Negi struggled to get up, attempting to push himself up with his hands. "Get away..."

Eva tilted her head aside like a curious owl. In other circumstances, it'd have been cute. "What? You always were so talkative, Kakizaki... What happened to you? Bat got your tongue?" Her tone grew harsher, impatient. "How much do you know? Chachamaru, scan the area. Tell me if she's alone or not."

The robot's eyes briefly shone in apple green. "Chamo-san is cowering behind the third lamp post at our right, but otherwise, no sapient creatures other than us are in the immediate proximities, Master."

"Then the little weasel was desperate enough to bring you, huh?" the immortal smirked. "I guess Hakase and her ragtag bunch were too cowardly to follow on their word after all."

"Evangeline," Misa finally spoke up, "I don't understand what got into you, but... Don't you think there are better ways to get into a boy's pants?"

The bloodsucker blinked. "What."

"I mean, I get he's too cute for words, but taking him by force is not the way to go! At least try being a bit more subtle!" the cheerleader said. "Boys today aren't that much into pushy girls... because they're, ahhh... more sensible than... before..."

Eva tapped a foot down. "Are you idiotic enough to actually believe that's what I'm trying here, or are you just trying to confuse me?"

"Don't play coy with me!" Misa declared nervously. "I've been listening to you all night! Practically every third thing you said has been a sexual innuendo!"

"Child," the vampiress flashed her fangs back, making Misa to shudder, "I don't like being mocked. If you already know what I am, then you know it's very unwise to cross me. And if you don't yet, then this should be enough to clue even your empty brain in. Now step aside. Go back to your shallow life before I end it up for you."

"E-Evangeline-san...!" Negi stiffly groaned, getting a few more inches up.

Misa just closed her eyes, whispering a half-forgotten prayer under her breath. Then she pulled two sticks from behind her back, obviously picked up off the ground, holding one vertical and the other horizontal in a cross shape. "Begone, evil one!" she declared. "The power compells you!"

Evangeline let a sigh out. "Why does people keep on thinking I'm the devil? Only because I like draining the precious vital fluids of young victims?"

"There, see!" Misa said triumphantly. "That was another one!"

Evangeline gave another step ahead. "Away from me, child."

Misa shook her head stubbornly, standing still even as she trembled and tightened her closed eyelids. Eva made a signal with her head to Chachamaru, and dutifully, the robot grabbed Misa with the utmost care and lifted her up like you would lift a newborn kitty, safely placing her aside and patting her head with a placid, slightly bashful smile. "Sorry about this," the servant said. "I promise you won't get hurt no matter what."

"Yeah, fine," her mistress grumbled. "Now you, on the other hand..." she turned a sadistic smirk to Negi. Seeing he was attempting to stand back on his staff, she grabbed it forcefully, tugged it away making him to fall back on his face, and tossed it back and off the bridge, into the river below. "I always hated this stupid stick of his..."

"Master, now that was cruel..." Chachamaru observed.

"My staff!" Negi cried out, his eyes growing huge and welling up with tears. "Eva-san, you're too mean! Why?-! That... That was my most beloved possession! You're a horrible person! I'll never... never forget-!"

Evangeline stopped him with an angry bark. "Silence! Spineless maggot! You dare to bawl like a baby after invoking my wrath!-?"

"To be fair, he wasn't the one starting it all..." Chachamaru quietly pointed out.

"That makes no difference!" Eva claimed. "In matters of life and death, it doesn't matter 'who started it', but how do you cope with it all! Even that Thousand Master fool knew that! If you ever want to be a man like him, you brat, I advise you to remember that! Complaining about the unfairness of life never got anyone anywhere!"

"Seriously?" Misa asked. "It always gets me a raise out of Daddy..."

Ignoring her, Evangeline knelt down next to Negi. Her hands suddenly caressed his cheeks, almost soothingly. "But I guess you're brave enough for your age. Most children of these times have no courage or honor. Spoiled little rotten parasytes. You could hope to be something different..."

He gasped helplessly, staring into her deep, mesmerizing green eyes. "Ah...?"

"You were a fool, coming after me alone. But I'll still grant you a sweet release after your efforts. Just close your eyes. I promise it won't hurt..."

"Innuendo! Innuendo!" Misa declared.

"Master..." Chachamaru sounded almost concerned, even as she quickly grabbed Misa's right arm, stopping her from interfering.

But Negi didn't close his eyes. He only could stare in horror as Evangeline's warm mouth, breathing in and out in eager gasps, closed in to his neck, until the points of the fangs broke through the soft skin, making him to yelp. It was not very painful, being more like dual tiny injections piercing him, but it all simply terrified him beyond words.

Evangeline smirked triumphally to herself and began to suck avidly, savoring the first droplets of sweet blood hitting her tongue.
- 17
- 18
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Unequally Rational and Emotional