仁義 | By : Kimmimaru Category: Gravitation > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1234 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, the characters or settings and of course i make no money from writing this. |
Authors note: yet another chapter! This one is happier, just to break the tension a bit! Phew! That was hard going there for a while! -.- So, please enjoy and you all have my love, the next person to review will get cookies! Thanks again!
Chapter 18: Eien no (Eternal)
Shuichi woke suddenly. He was covered in cold sweat, his eyes stared blindly up at the ceiling and he suddenly felt violently sick. His fingers clutched tightly at the blanket and he sat up, his hand covering his mouth. He stood and ran into the bathroom and vomited into the porcelain bowl. When he was done he flushed and leaned heavily against the bath tub, his fingers threaded into his hair and he squeezed his eyes shut against the tears. He couldn't cope anymore. His body was in too much pain, his mind scattered by the simplest touch, he felt disgusted at himself when he looked into a mirror and he felt sick every time he heard Yuki's voice in his head. He didn't know what to do anymore, he was plagued by horrible nightmares where faceless men would force him to the floor and strip him of his clothing. He felt so weak, so helpless and he was craving something that would help him forget, he just wanted to stop thinking!
Hiro woke slowly, the bed beside him was cold and he yawned before turning his head and noticing Shuichi wasn't there. He could hear heart breaking sobs coming from the bathroom and he stood. He walked toward the sounds and saw the bathroom door open with the light on, when he went inside he saw Shuichi curled up in a ball on the cold tiles and sobbing into his hands. He felt his heart clench painfully and he knelt before his friend and lifted him into his arms, he held him tightly and let him cry into his hair. "Hush...Shuichi...its alright." He whispered gently as he stroked the broken boys head. "Every things ok, I'm here..."
"H-Hiro..." Shuichi pulled away and looked into Hiro's dark eyes. He could see the concern and he tangled his fingers into that soft long hair. "I-I can't do it anymore." He whispered. Hiro looked at him and saw how pale he was, how dark circles surrounded his eyes and how the sparkle had all but disappeared from those purple orbs. He tightened his grip on Shuichi and pressed his forehead to his.
"Shuichi, I'm your best friend, please...let me help you! I'll do anything! I hate seeing you like this!"
"I..." Shuichi closed his eyes and let out a small sigh. "I don't want to keep going like this...I don't think I can live...without him."
Hiro opened his eyes and shook his head, he reached up and wiped the tears from his face. "No. I'll help you...Shu...I need you." He whispered.
"Hiro?"
They looked into each other's eyes for a long time, Hiro's eyes half closed and he tipped his head to the side, his fingers wrapped themselves into Shuichi's hair and he pressed his lips to his friends.
Shuichi froze. His own eyes widened for a second and his fingers dug into Hiro's shoulders. When his friend pulled away he opened his mouth but words escaped him. The guitarist sighed heavily. "Sorry." He muttered. "Couldn't help myself..."
"N-no...I...It was...Uh..." Shuichi was lost for words. He wasn't sure what to think. He avoided Hiro's gaze but didn't move away.
The silence was awkward and finally Hiro stood and helped Shuichi to his feet, he smiled. "Want some hot chocolate?"
Shuichi smiled weakly before nodding. "Yeah...thanks."
Tohma raced through the hospital doors, he was soaking wet as it was pouring with rain outside and he hadn't thought to bring his coat or an umbrella. He ran to the elevators and hammered the button, finally he climbed in and went to Ryuichi's floor.
Tatsuha fell into a seat, his head hanging low as he tried to digest the situation. The doctors were shouting, the whole place had erupted into chaos and Tatsuha felt like a rock in the middle of a stormy sea. Ryuichi looked a bit lost, as if he wasn't sure what was happening but he was now so pale he looked genuinely dead, dark circles surrounded his eyes and he still flickered oddly. Suddenly the door crashed open and Tatsuha saw a very wet, and very scared looking Tohma. The president ignored him and ran straight to Ryuichi's body, he looked down and saw the flat lining heart monitor. Pain ripped through him and he felt violently sick. He looked down at his friends face and felt tears falling from his eyes, he grabbed Ryuichi's freezing cold hand and hung his head. "I-I'm sorry..." he whispered. "Ryuichi...I-I...It's all my fault! Everything! Please..." He choked slightly and wiped his eyes on his damp shirt sleeve, he was shivering with cold but hardly felt it. Water dripped, mixed with his tears, onto Ryuichi's cheek. Suddenly, Tohma began singing softly under his breath in English. The Doctors gave each other significant looks before backing out the room.
Ryuichi's eyes widened. He stared as Tohma sang the song. The first song he had released in English in America...It was Tohma's favourite. He chewed his lip. "Tohma..." He reached out to touch his friend. Ryuichi suddenly laughed, a sound filled with joy. "Tohma! You idiot!" He moved suddenly, a white light surrounding him and he sat beside his body.
Tohma felt something, a tiny pressure on his hand as it gripped Ryuichi's. He gasped and almost released it, the body in the bed twitched and Ryuichi's eyelids flickered. An alarm went off somewhere and the Ryuichi began choking on the plastic tubes in his throat.
Slowly he opened his eyes and stared into Tohma's, he tried to smile weakly but failed due to the tubes. The doctors returned, they began removing the equipment. "I can't believe it! This is...a miracle!"
"He's...alive!" Tohma gasped.
A few days later and Ryuichi was getting ready to leave the hospital, the doctors were flabbergasted at his sudden recovery from the very edge of death. He sang under his breath as he dressed, his jeans hung off his hips and he had yet to do them up as he rummaged around in the duffle bag Noriko had brought him for a t-shirt.
The door opened silently, Tatsuha stood there watching the singer swaying slightly to his own inner music. He let out a sudden gasp as he saw the scars that covered his back, many looked deliberate. The one that caught his eye most were the symbols carved into his lower back, pale scar tissue standing in stark contrast to the rest of his tanned skin. The singer froze and turned around, he blinked at Tatsuha before a great big grin spread across his pretty face. "Ta-Kun!" he said.
"Hi, I'm here to pick you up!"
"Yay! I get to ride Ta-kun's Motorbike!" He put his arms in the air and laughed, a sound as fresh as a spring breeze and Tatsuha found himself smiling in response. "Ne...Ta-kun...?" Ryuichi began as he hopped over to the Monk, his eyes were sparkling and leaned close. "Ryuichi would like to thank you for your help!" He said with a giggle. "If it wasn't for you, Kumagoro would be all alone! And he gets afraid when he's alone." He nodded wisely before stepping back.
"I didn't really do anything to be honest...It was Seguchi."
Suddenly Ryuichi's eyes filled with tears. "He hasn't spoken to me since...I think I'm in trouble." He sniffed sadly and wiped at his eyes. "I've been bad, now Tohma is gunna be angry at me!"
Tatsuha put his hand on Ryuichi's head and made the singer look up at him. "I'm sure he won't...but just in case, would like me to go with you to NG?"
"Oh! Would you? That'd be really awesome! Thanks Ta-kun! I knew I could rely on you!" He suddenly surrounded the boy in his arms and snuggled his head into his chest. "You're the bestest of friends!"
When they arrived at NG Ryuichi stepped off the bike and looked up at the building, he had Kumagoro stuffed into his jacket and now he got him out and began chewing on his ear nervously. He turned to see Tatsuha watching him and he stuck out his free hand, Tatsuha stared at it for a moment. "You're sposed to hold it, silly!" Ryuichi giggled.
After a second Tatsuha reached out and took his hand, their fingers entwined and they stepped into the building. Ryuichi had his hat pulled down low, he didn't fancy being recognised, even if people would only want to congratulate him on his recovery, he wanted to get this meeting over and done with. He was filled with childish fear as they got the lift up to the executive levels. "Ta-kun?" Ryuichi mumbled around his rabbit.
"Yeah?"
"I-I'm scared..." The singer looked up at Tatsuha with huge eyes, his hair fell into them and he had Kumagoro's ear clamped firmly in his mouth. The young monk felt his heart almost stop in his chest as he stared down at him, he was filled with protective instincts and he wanted to drag the singer into his arms and hold him tightly.
"Uh...I...Don't be." He managed after a while of stuttering and blushing. "I'll protect you."
Ryuichi grinned around Kumagoro's ear. "Fanks Tafuha..." He mumbled.
Finally they were stood outside the door, Tatsuha knocked and they heard an exhausted voice from within. "Enter." They did so and Ryuichi gripped Tatsuha's hand even tighter, his long nails almost breaking the skin of the boys hand. Tohma sat behind his desk, and he was staring down at a long looking document with a frown, his eyes moving back and forth. "Just leave it on the desk, Sakano-san..." He muttered with a wide yawn. He had dark circles under his eyes and an unhealthy pinched look to his face. Suddenly he looked up as he realised no one was answering. "Oh!" he stood. "Tatsuha-san and..." His eyes landed on Ryuichi who hid half way behind Tatsuha's back. "Ryuichi..." Tohma said his name softly, almost gently.
Ryuichi clung to the monk, he was too afraid to even meet Tohma's eyes. He knew he would be angry with him. The silence was uncomfortable until Tatsuha broke it. "Uh..."
"Oh, sorry. You may go, Tatsuha-san..."
"No!" Ryuichi hung on even tighter, he closed his eyes tightly as he hung off of the monks arm. "He said he'd protect me!"
Tatsuha shrugged helplessly and Tohma sighed. "Very well, take a seat and I'll get Sakano-san to get some tea."
"J-juice?" Ryuichi asked as he peered around Tatsuha who he was using as a kind of wall between him and Tohma's eyes.
Suddenly Tohma smiled, a smile Tatsuha rarely saw, it was gentle and filled with affection. "Of course."
"Tohma?" Ryuichi said quietly. "Y-you're not...mad, are you?"
Tohma considered his response carefully, he hated upsetting Ryuichi when he was in this kind of mood. "I...am not mad, exactly. Ryuichi...you scared me." He looked at the singer who was cautiously edging around Tatsuha so he could see Tohma better, but he refused to come into full view in case he really did get mad.
"I-I did?" He asked in a small voice, his large eyes filling with tears.
"Yes...But it's over now..." Tohma stepped from behind his desk and extended his hand. "Welcome home, Ryuichi."
Suddenly Ryuichi's face lit up into the biggest smile Tatsuha had seen and he ran from behind him before practically launching himself at his band mate and tackling him to the floor. "Tohma!" he cried as he buried his face into the blond hair. "I'm home!"
"Back where you belong." Tohma whispered.
"By your side! Forever and ever!"
"Yes. Ryuichi...?" The singer looked down at Tohma and saw the pain in his eyes; he held Ryuichi's face with both hands. "I'm sorry...will you...forgive me?"
"Always forgiven, Tohma." Ryuichi replied and embraced his friend so tightly he almost choked him. "Do whatever you want with me...because I'll never leave your side again! I promise."
Tatsuha watched the affectionate scene and sighed; he turned away and left the two of them alone.
Shuichi read the lyrics on the piece of paper, beneath which lay the notes. He had watched Hiro working on this for a while but he hadn't read it until now. As he read them his eyes widened as he realised their meaning:
Always and forever, steadfast and true,
I'll stay beside you and you alone,
ever since the time I held you in my arms,
ever since the moment I felt this foresight...
You, who gave me that angelic smile-
I can't ask you the reason for these tears.
You shook off my grasping hand...
and softly, over your shoulder, I started to speak.
"It's all right now,"
I repeat, over and over,
to your still slightly trembling figure;
there's nothing else I can say, and yet
Always and forever, no matter when,
I'll stay here with you - only you.
Ever since the time I held you in my arms,
ever since the moment I felt this omen...
Amid a careless conversation,
the smile you showed me was so full of joy;
I laughed in a bit of embarrassment, and,
standing there holding you without letting go, I murmured,
"It's all right now..."
There's nothing else I can say, but
if those tears will vanish again,
then I'll become your clown.
Always and forever, no matter when -
I'll be right there for you and you alone.
Ever since the time I held you in my arms,
ever since the moment I recognized this feeling...
I don't know whether our tears
have added up to more than our smiles, but
-I'm nearby-
That's the one thing
that I can do for you...
Always and forever, constant and steadfast,
I'll stand with you and you alone.
Ever since the time I held you in my arms,
ever since the moment I noticed this feeling...
Always and forever, I alone
will never, ever let you go
Because I'll show you that I'll protect you...
since I noticed this feeling...**
Suddenly the door opened and Shuichi looked up to see his friend watching him. His eyes widened and his face went red, he opened his mouth and closed it before taking a breath and hanging his head. "Uh...sorry...I didn't know you didn't want me to read it...but...it's really good."
Hiro looked up. "No, it's rubbish...just...uh...something I was playing with. I wandered if I could write lyrics...obviously not. I-I'll throw it away now..." He reached for the paper but Shuichi moved away from him.
"Can...can I use them?" He asked.
Hiro sighed and flopped down onto the sofa beside his friend. "Ah, why not."
Shuichi smiled. "Thanks...You know, they are very good."
Hiro smiled and ruffled Shuichi's hair. "Thanks."
"So, let's hear it." Shuichi said in a determined voice as he nodded towards Hiro's guitar. "You have music too..."
Hiro nodded. "As you wish, great and fearless leader!" He picked up his acoustic and began strumming, making sure it was still in tune before playing the first few bars.
Shuichi read the lyrics to the music before getting Hiro to replay it while he sang them. He absorbed himself in making music, ignoring the darkness that had swamped him recently. He made a few adjustments, with Hiro's input. But even though they laughed and messed around, the true meaning behind the lyrics went unspoken, neither had the guts to even speak of it.
END NOTE: I don’t normally put in songs into my fics but seeing as its a Grav fic I thought I would to give it more depth. The Lyrics, for me, pretty much sum up Hiro (If he was in love with Shu...they’re kind of sweet.)
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