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Those Left Behind	By : stephfarrow94 Category: +G to L > Katekyo Hitman Reborn Views: 5549 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Those Left Behind
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 28-28
- 29-29
- 17
- 18
- 19
There weren’t many times Rasiel left his room; he hardly even left for meals, instead preferring to sit in solitude, letting his imagination entertain him.
The older blond’s favourite pastimes involved reliving his childhood, stroking himself to completion as he remembered the way his brother screamed and begged for it to stop, the way tears slid down his face as he would curl up in a ball afterwards, trembling and flinching at the slightest sound, screaming if he felt something touch him as lightly as a feather. He adored the blood that more often than not stained Belphegor’s thighs, the way it would leak from the younger twin’s entrance, and Rasiel was convinced he would never see a more beautiful sight than the ones his brother had made.
Shoichi had told Rasiel that he had an unhealthy obsession with Belphegor, but Rasiel didn’t think so; he simply loved his brother a bit more than he should.
Walking through the corridors, obscured eyes drank in the sight he very rarely saw; the same pale walls as his room, some windows here and there that showed the surrounding lawns. The rooms of the other patients branched off every now and then, but Rasiel didn’t care about those; he cared only for whatever could lead him to his twin.
“Belphegor~” Rasiel called under his breath, a twisted smirk crossing his face. Rounding the corner that would lead him to the activities room, he stepped in, knowing he would find someone who could tell him where he would find the younger; Byakuran had been nice enough to inform him of the fact that Belphegor was slowly being let out of his room more and more.
To his excitement, Rasiel found Byakuran seated at one of the tables, playing a game of solitaire by his lonesome. The older male looked up from his cards at the blond’s approach, his playful smile crossing his face at the sight of his friend.
“Looking for someone, Rasiel?” Byakuran rested his chin in his hand as he observed the smaller man with violet eyes. He smirked when he received a nod in response, leaning forward to whisper, “He’s outside somewhere. I don’t think he had anyone with him today.”
Rasiel nodded, his pants tightening at the thought of what he could do to Belphegor without anyone there to get in the way. “Much appreciated.”
The blond turned around to leave, only to stop once he felt a hand grab his wrist. He tilted his head as he looked at Byakuran, silently awaiting the other’s words.
“He’s already gotten me locked in solitary twice now.” There was a dark tone in the white-haired male’s voice at this, as if he resented Belphegor for what hadn’t actually been the blond’s fault. “I didn’t say anything about him to you.”
“Ushesheshe~” Rasiel nodded. “We never had this talk.”
“Exactly.”
With that said, Rasiel left the room, heading out towards the grounds.
~~XX~~
Though Spanner still wasn’t one-hundred per cent regarding his health, he had come back to work that morning as he didn’t want to swamp his co-workers. Shoichi had returned the day prior, having finally gotten over his severe bout of anxiety; Spanner had a feeling it was because they had Gokudera’s cat, and the redheaded male had been greatly enjoying his task of caring for it, even if the animal could get a bit aggressive at times.
Having caught up quickly on his load of work, and whilst Shoichi prepared himself for whichever patient was next in his schedule, the blond psychiatrist soon went for a walk around the facility, wondering if there was anyone who wouldn’t mind his company for a while.
It was quiet amongst the patients, most of them in their room under their blankets with the cold draft that was chilling to the bone; it was wet outside, the storm last night having ravished the area with fierce rain, and the cold breeze that was left behind in its wake penetrated the solid walls.
Walking past the open door to the grounds, Spanner poked his head out, finding only one person in sight; his fellow blond who seemed happy to sit out on the saturated grass, staring out into the distance as he laughed to himself.
“Belphegor?” Spanner stepped outside, treading the muddy earth as he approached the patient; no one was with him, and it made the staff member wonder if he had even been let out of his room today. “Belphegor, it’s cold and wet out here; you should come back inside.”
Belphegor turned at the younger male’s voice, a gentle smile on his face. He giggled to himself before he shook his head. “The prince is just fine sitting out here today.”
“Why aren’t you with anyone?” Spanner stood next to the smaller male, not wanting to sit in what looked to be one giant puddle of water. “I always see you with Viper when you’re out of your room.”
“Mammy is talking to the skylark, and Froggy is with his pineapple.” Belphegor tilted his head as he turned to look at something only he could see, laughing softly. “The prince has never been outside by himself before; he likes being able to just sit here.”
“Mind if I stand?” Spanner didn’t like being out here in the cold wet, but he was sure Belphegor could use some peace and stability in his life. He reached into his pocket when a hand was held out expectantly, knowing the older male wanted a lollipop if he were to let Spanner join him. “Here you go.”
Belphegor snatched the sweet away, pulling the wrapper from it. He was quick to stick it into his mouth, sucking away at it as if his life depended on it.
“Why are you even out here?” The taller blond asked. “Aren’t you cold?”
Belphegor shook his head, his tongue licking all over his sweet treat before he replied, “I’m waiting for a bird or something to come by.”
“Why?”
“So I can kill it.”
The psychiatrist sighed, not wanting to hear the answer but asking anyway. “Why would you kill something that’s done nothing to you and can’t defend itself?”
“Because it’s small, I hate it, and it ‘can’t defend itself’.” Belphegor offered a lopsided smirk to his visitor. Spanner fell silent at these words, feeling ill over the fact that someone could do such cruel things to something just because of such petty reasoning.
Instead, Spanner watched with soft eyes, unable to deny the fact that watching Belphegor suck at his lollipop made his pants tighten just a tad more than they already were. He reached out slowly, his fingers extended as he made to ghost against the older male’s cheek. He didn’t miss the way the smaller blond suddenly tensed, a small growl emitting from the other’s throat as he warned the stronger man not to touch him.
“It’s okay, Belphegor,” Spanner promised, holding his hand still as he tried to reassure the patient he meant no harm. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
The smaller blond started shaking, his growling never stopping; it only got louder as he realised the psychiatrist wasn’t going to pull his hand back. In a vicious tone, he snarled, “Get away from me...”
“You were looking so calm and happy earlier,” Spanner pointed out. “Why did it suddenly change now that I’m reaching out towards you?”
“I don’t want you to touch me... Get away from me, peasant... Get away!”
Spanner jumped back as the stem of the lollipop was thrust towards him, in a manner that made the taller man think the patient had just tried to stab him with it. “Belphegor... I’m really not going to hurt you.”
“Just because you say that doesn’t mean you won’t...” Belphegor moved his lollipop back to his mouth, chewing at the stick in distress. “My father... always said it would be okay... He promised it would be okay... But it wasn’t... That sick bastard... He always cut me... Dragged knives through my body... It hurt even more than when he... when he did other things... And my mother... The only times she’d touch me was when... she was punching and kicking me... Don’t even get me started on what Jill did...”
Spanner frowned, knowing the patient had never known the love and comfort of family before, and it was because of that he could trust very few people. Belphegor had only ever known hatred and abuse, and it had gone on for so long, he didn’t understand that not everyone who tried to touch him wanted to hurt him.
“But you trust Viper, don’t you?” Spanner pointed out. “And Fran?”
“Mammy was good to me when I was little...” Belphegor said in a wary tone. He fidgeted uneasily, planning the quickest escape route lest Spanner attempt more than just touching him. “She was always quiet and gentle, and she looked after me when I’d cry... She let me cry, and never hit me to make me stop... She promised I was allowed to do it... That I was allowed to be scared... And Froggy... Froggy already knows... I know he understands...”
“Belphegor, what could I honestly do to you with my bare hands?” Spanner tried to point out. “I know it’s a hard concept for you to comprehend, but I’ve truly never hurt anything in my life. I would never hit you or even shout at you, Belphegor; it’s just not in my nature.”
“I bet you’ve done things to your boyfriend,” Belphegor snarled. “I bet you’ve hurt him and made him wish he were dead.”
“Why on Earth would I do that to someone I love, Belphegor?”
“Because men can’t be trusted unless they know what it’s like to be hurt... I only trust Mammy because at least she looks after me. Men are evil, and only hurt what they can.”
Spanner would have pointed out that Belphegor somewhat fell into that category, torturing and killing any small animal he came across, but he could understand; the older blond had been through so much, and had such a twisted mindset, it was no surprise he could be cruel to anything he knew he had the upper hand against.
“Not all of them, Belphegor,” Spanner promised. “None of the staff here have ever hurt you, have they?”
“Hayato does, and the rest of you all sedate the fuck out of me. Assholes...”
“But which one of us has ever treated you like your family did?”
“...” Belphegor shrugged. “...You would if you could...”
Spanner wasn’t a therapist, and he wasn’t trained to deal directly with the patients; he instead fell silent, wishing he could help his fellow blond see that not everyone was who he saw them as.
“Do you want another lollipop?” Spanner knew to calm the situation down, so he instead held another of his sweets out to the patient. Belphegor snatched it away once more, chewing angrily at it. Looking up at the sky, the stronger male said, “You should come back inside soon; it’s going to start raining again.”
“Not until I kill something.” Belphegor shivered from the chill, his obscured eyes glaring at the younger. “It makes me feel better.”
Spanner felt sick at those words; he could only imagine how Belphegor’s mind worked if that was true; he must feel so pathetic in life, he has to hurt things that can’t fight back just to feel as if he could look after himself.
“Why would you want to do that to an animal?” The younger questioned.
“Because if I know I can kill something, I know I can fight back against any of you when you try and attack me.”
Spanner nodded, knowing not to probe too deep into the damaged man’s mind lest he unintentionally bring Belphegor into one of his moods; it was easy for him to lose control, and Spanner didn’t want to deal with it by himself out where no one would probably notice.
“What are you going to do for the day?” Spanner asked, diffusing the older man’s mood little-by-little.
Belphegor shrugged. “Waiting for Mammy to finish... Hoping to watch the TV for a while...”
“There’s no one else in the TV room at the moment; why don’t you go watch it now?”
“Because... I want Mammy to be with me... They say... They say things when I’m trying to watch TV... Mammy knows how to make them go away...”
The younger male could only imagine the daily turmoil the patient suffered through, and he was thankful for the fact that he didn’t have any mental illnesses himself; working with so many people who did had really helped him understand how difficult it is to live with even a minor one.
“I’m going back in the building, Belphegor; it’s too wet out here for me.” Spanner’s fingers itched to at least pat the smaller man’s head in farewell, but he restrained himself; he had only just calmed one situation down and he didn’t need to start another one. “Try and come back in soon.”
Belphegor nodded, looking out into the distance again. Spanner heard him laugh about something as he walked, the other seemingly having a conversation with someone only he could hear.
“What are you doing, Rasiel?” Spanner stopped walking as he caught sight of the familiar blond trying to hide the second he had come around the corner and caught sight of his psychiatrist coming back into the building.
“Walking?” Rasiel frowned at the younger, his fingers twitching. “I’m allowed out of my room – I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Where were you walking to?” Spanner looked at the smaller male with a knowing gaze, working out that the other blond had been heading towards Belphegor – there was no other reason Rasiel would suddenly try to conceal his presence.
Rasiel shrugged. “A king doesn’t have to answer to peasants.”
“It’s too cold and wet out there, Rasiel; if you want to come out of your room, do stay in the building – it won’t do for you to catch a cold.”
“A king walks where he wants to walk.”
“Not if I say otherwise. Turn back around, Rasiel. Weren’t you told that you’re not allowed to go to places we tell you not to? I’m sure someone would have told you that outside is off-limits now, too. And you didn’t even wait for your escort to arrive before leaving; something we also told you not to do.”
Rasiel sneered before he turned back around, knowing the other knew he was after Belphegor. “You’re lucky I’m not in a bad mood, peasant...”
“Stay out of the TV room today, too,” Spanner called after his patient. “Once Shoichi is free, he’ll be accompanying you to your destination – that was the agreement to you leaving your room now.”
“That’s a peasant’s agreement, you fool...” the older male snarled, disappearing back down the corridor he had come from.
Spanner just shrugged, checking his watch and knowing that Shoichi should be done with Squalo any minute now. Walking towards the Varia Wing, the blond wondered how the long-haired man was travelling; he and Xanxus still hadn’t made up, and most of the staff were concerned they never would.
~~XX~~
“Do you think you can do it today?”
Squalo shrugged at the younger male, his dark eyes staring out of his window. In the distance he could see Belphegor standing out in the cold, yelling at an invisible being – he knew the younger was yelling because of the way the blond was waving his arms in the air in a threatening manner. “I guess so... Maybe not now, but... later, perhaps...”
Shoichi offered a shy smile as he nodded, making a note on the paper. “I’m sure you can do it, Squalo; you’re stronger than you realise.”
Squalo waved a dismissive hand in the air, hating to hear sentimental shit such as that; it never made him feel any better, so what was the point of being told such things every session he had? “The Takeshi brat knows I hate hearing shit like that.”
“Oh, I am sorry, Squalo. Are you ready for me to leave, or is there anything else you want to tell me?”
The older male shook his head. “No. You can go. Maybe go knock some sense into that prince brat; he just kicked a wall he was previously screaming at. Fucking nutter...”
“I’m sure Belphegor is just releasing some of his stress now that he has the means to cope with it,” Shoichi explained as he stood up, gathering his things. “Regardless, I’ll go check on him anyway and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.”
Squalo shrugged as he laid back on his bed, remaining silent as he listened to the younger taking his leave. He wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, just staring up at his roof as he counted the tiles.
“I can’t believe I even said anything to him...” Squalo sighed as he rolled onto his side, hearing Shoichi and Spanner talking quietly outside his door. “I hardly... even tell Takeshi what I’m thinking... And yet, I told the redhead how much I miss Xanxus... and he even gave me advice on what to do... Would Takeshi have helped so much if I trusted him...? Maybe the Bucking Horse was right; maybe I shouldn’t have closed myself off so much...”
Closing his eyes, Squalo tried to have a sleep, knowing he was too tired to function properly otherwise – and besides, if he wanted to be able to get Xanxus’ attention and try to fix their relationship, he would need all the rest he could get; Xanxus wasn’t easy to deal with at the best of times, let alone when someone was exhausted.
Letting himself think over the previous couple of months, Squalo thought about his fight with Xanxus, his visit to the hospital, and all the emotions he had felt during the time he had felt since those two events had happened.
Having lost Xanxus, Squalo had felt helpless, as if there was no point to life without the man by his side. He had missed the other more than anything, willing to do anything it took to have Xanxus back, but no matter what he had done, it had only further assured him that he couldn’t do anything right and wasn’t worth loving or caring about – he had been pushed away, ignored, and verbally abused, and his already-fragile mind hadn’t been able to handle it.
But having visited Takeshi at the hospital, it had made him wonder; why had he, someone who had absolutely no value whatsoever, been allowed to live without any significant physical impairments, when someone like Takeshi, who loved life, was now forced to adjust to the fact that he would probably never be able to play his beloved baseball ever again – maybe even never leave a bed, or wheelchair. How could someone who hated life so much be able to live so comfortably when it was the complete opposite for one of the nicest, most loving people Squalo had ever met?
While Squalo had wanted to die, Takeshi wanted to live, to have full control of his body once more. Squalo had often wondered about this; if he were to kill himself, would he miss out on his chance to finally be happy once more? To beat his depression? Could he ever be as happy as he once had been?
Having seen someone he personally knew so messed up from a traffic accident... was killing himself worth it? Should he end his life when there were others out there who would probably kill for the life he has?
Squalo had never really considered it before, long ago having lost the ability to see a point to his life, but maybe there was a reason he was still alive. Maybe there was a reason everyone had tried so hard to keep him from killing himself. He was perfectly fine physically, even if he was a tad underweight – he wasn’t stuck in a hospital like Takeshi, so he was thankful for that.
But maybe... Just maybe... He was supposed to keep living. He had absolutely no idea what it could be for as he truly hated himself and the life he was living, and he wasn’t sure if he could pull through it, but at least now he could see for himself that he was lucky to be so physically well, and the only scars and injuries he had were ones he had caused himself.
If there was one thing Squalo had learnt from his visit to Takeshi, it was to be thankful for the fact that, even though he still had suffered in life, he could have been so much worse – he could see that he shouldn’t take life for granted the way he had been, because he didn’t know what would happen tomorrow.
On the verge of sleep, Squalo was startled awake by the sound of his door opening again. He looked up, surprised to find Xanxus walking into the room, but he didn’t speak – he couldn’t. The older man climbed into bed beside Squalo, wrapping a strong arm around the skinny body. He tugged the smaller male closer before he closed his eyes, letting sleep wash over him.
Squalo could only stare for minutes before he realised the gravity of the situation; Xanxus was here, with him, sleeping in his bed once more. Still unable to be sure of what this meant, Squalo could only hope it meant that Xanxus was over whatever had been bothering him and wanted him back.
Letting tears slip down his cheeks, Squalo cried silently into his arm before he, too, fell into a deep sleep, his nightmares chased off by the man’s soothing presence.
~~XX~~
“Master...”
Mukuro and Tsuna looked down at the boy sitting in between them on the couch in Tsuna’s living room. Byakuran had been causing a lot of trouble for them lately, and it had gotten to the point where the brunet had been given permission to take the two back to his own home to make sure nothing further happened.
“Hmm?” Mukuro ran a large hand through teal locks, letting the younger fall against him.
Fran glanced at Tsuna in uneasiness before he whispered to Mukuro, “...I’m still hungry...”
Mukuro smiled softly at the boy before he looked at Tsuna, his heterochromatic eyes holding an amused look. “My little one would like a snack before he goes to bed.”
Tsuna smiled down at Fran before he nodded, promising to be right back as he left for the kitchen. Fran pulled himself onto the older male’s lap, pressing their chests together as he sighed. Mukuro threaded spidery fingers through his hair as he started to hum, knowing it was getting late.
“We’ll go to bed after this movie, okay?” Mukuro promised. He looked up as Tsuna came back, a bag of chips in his hand. He took them from the younger and handed them to Fran, watching as the boy pulled the packet open slowly, eating hesitantly.
“How are Takeshi and Hayato?” Mukuro asked, knowing to be polite whilst his therapist had been kind enough to take them home just so they could get a peaceful night’s rest instead of being kept up by Byakuran stirring trouble.
“Gokudera-kun said he’ll be released in a few days,” the brunet said. “He’s going to stay with me so I can make sure he’s alright. Yamamoto... is going to be in for longer; he really took the brunt of the smash.”
“Apologies.”
Fran looked around at the familiar names, blinking at Tsuna before he said quietly, “T-takeshi... had sex with me...”
Both adults froze at the boy’s words, neither of them knowing what to think. It was Mukuro who asked, “What? When?”
“When... he found me...” Fran whispered. He had thought a lot on what the therapist had done, knowing that, while Yamamoto truly hadn’t meant anything bad by it, it was still something that hurt and scared the teenager. “He didn’t... force me... He just...”
Mukuro tightened his hold on the younger, a dark expression crossing his face. Tsuna just cleared his throat, talking in a soft tone.
“Do you know why he did it?”
Fran shook his head. “He did it before we got to the hospital... It made my... my hardness go away... It didn’t leave when he tried touching it...”
Tsuna understood at these words; Yamamoto had just been trying to help the boy – but even so, there was still the matter that he had cheated on Gokudera. Knowing the silver-haired male most likely didn’t know, Tsuna had no idea how to handle this – there was no way he could say anything about it to Gokudera so soon after this, but... he couldn’t keep something so important from his best friend.
“I’m going to turn in early, guys.” Tsuna stood up, too shocked by the news to want to stay up any longer. He handed the TV remote to Mukuro, grabbing his glass of water from the coffee table. “I’ll get the blankets and pillows. You can stay up however late; just try and keep it down, alright?”
“Thank you, Tsunayoshi.” Mukuro dropped his head, placing a gentle kiss on the top of Fran’s skull. “Do you want to go to sleep now, Fran?”
The boy nodded as he dropped his now-empty packet of chips to the ground, a small yawn escaping his lips. They were quiet until Tsuna returned, his arms full of blankets and two pillows.
The oldest male helped his host make a bed up on the couch, and once it was done, Tsuna bid them goodnight before he disappeared into his own room.
Mukuro adjusted his pillow as he laid down on his side, a much smaller one resting by his chest; Fran liked burying his face in against the man’s throat as he drifted off to sleep, comforted by the warmth.
The older male stroked Fran’s tiny body as he watched the TV, the screen illuminating the now-dark room. He could feel Fran’s chest rise and fall against his own, and it took only minutes for the boy to fall into a restful sleep.
Mukuro couldn’t help but feel agitated over the fact that someone else had touched his Fran before he had had the chance to; he knew how fragile the youngest was, so he wanted to wait until Fran was better before he tried to push anything further between them.
The only problem was, Mukuro didn’t know how long that would take.
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Those Left Behind