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Awakening	By : Demonic_Host Category: Pokemon > General Views: 19514 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever, owned anything related to rights to Pokemon nor do I make money off of my fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
A/N: I will be playing with a bit of pokemon fan theory in here for one thing. It won't be fully explored in this, just mentioned. Fair warning that the topics brought up through dialogue may be a little uncomfortable for some people to read.

Heartfelt Interference

Chapter Eighteen
Age Seventeen

There wasn't an easy way to describe how you felt when you woke up in lukewarm bath water. The bathing room's walls were slick with water droplets like perspiration. You stayed in the tub, trying to sort through the fact that whatever that was had just really happened. Or had it been a part of your imagination? You brought pruny fingers up above the surface of the water and took a good, hard look. As though staring at your skin would give you all the answers you needed. Had Rorsh's and Nox's minds really been inside of your dreams? Had Rorsh seriously learned to do that with his psychic powers despite the fact that no espeon before him had been known to? If he had...was he seriously capable of the level of lust to spur such an action? Was Nox?

Your hand fell back into the water with a big of a splash. The thoughts kept swirling in your head making you feel worse than you already had. You weren't sure what would have been worse - if they had both really been inside of your head or if that had been your own imagination making that up. If they were...oh god, what kind of a trainer did that make you? What kind of a breeder made their pokemon experience those kind of emotions? And if it had been you head doing all that inventive shit to torment you what kind of a human being did that make you?

Granted, neither of them even resembled pokemon. They had, in all parts, felt extremely human to you. Rorsh had looked like something straight out of a fashion and fitness magazine. The kind of guys that girls chat about and dream about, which only led credence to the fact that you could have made it up. While you might not have been able to see Nox you had definitely felt him. Everything that you had touched had that soft firmness about it - human flesh over muscles. It hadn't been exactly defined but that was probably because, as the Rorsh identity of the dream had said, he hadn't been completely ready. He was still figuring out how to take on human form and that was the farthest he had gotten.

You squeezed your eyes closed as you fruitlessly tried not to imagine the fact that they probably planned to do that again, and again, and again. If it had actually been them that is. If it had been you...well, somehow that made the situation worse. You couldn't exactly reason with your subconscious. You could try to reason and discipline Rorsh and Nox so that they stayed out of your head but you couldn't dissuade the part of your mind that made such dreams.

You opened your eyes when you realized that staying locked away in the bathing room wasn't going to give you any of the answers you needed to proceed from here. You got out of the tub, letting water splash over the rim and down into the drain of the room. The gray tiled floor was slanted the smallest amount so that it wouldn't stay wet for long. Before you you grabbed a terry cloth robe from the far side of the room you unplugged the bath to let all the water drain out. Then you slipped on the soft and absorbent material and headed back to your room. Thankfully your father was somehow still preoccupied with the dishes as your mother flipped through the list of tasks that would need to be accomplished tomorrow. No doubt they had taken their own mini rest and watched an episode of something while you were in the bathing room. Otherwise those two tasks would have been long since done. Regardless it meant that you were able to get back to your room with little more than a smile and a wave to your parents.

Once you were there, you suddenly wished you had taken more time in the bathroom. Nox and Rorsh were curled up on your bed. Which left little room for anything else. If you had wanted you probably could have sat down between them, maybe lay with your legs hanging off of your bed. Something like that. Considering what kind of a dream you'd just woken up from there were few less less appealing than that. As you moved into the room both Pokemons' eyes were on you. It was like they had practiced opening their eyes at the same time just to stare at you.

You really didn't know how to bring that topic up. How did you ask Rorsh if he had been practicing with powers he should have just so he could come into your dreams to have sex with you? How did you ask Nox if he'd asked Rorsh to help him do just that as well? Sure you could always directly ask just like you kept thinking but what if you were wrong? What if your mind had made it all up? You wanted answers for sure, but at the same time you knew that some things were better left unknown. If you asked and they hadn't...then it was all on you. It was this which made you hesitate asking as soon as you got in.

Instead you started to get your clothes. They were in a safer part of the room, closer to Ember who laid on his bed grooming his fur. He was a lot safer of a choice to be around. At least his humanized image hadn't been floating through your head. That was quite the relief. You already felt disgusted and desperate with having two of them in there, you weren't sure how much worse it would be if all three of your pokemon starred in such luid imaginative scenarios.

Out of habit you started to untie your belt before a wave of paranoia washed over you. If it had been them then...oh you were never going to change in front of those two again.

Grabbing your clothes back up you started to walk back out of your bedroom. If you had a walk in closet you probably would have chanced in there. As it was, you didn't. Which meant you were going to have to come up with an interesting explanation for why you didn't change in your room just in case your parents asked. And you'd have to come up with one quick. As you started to open the door, you felt it slammed shut. And it was that sort of force that you recognized easily.

"Rorsh, what are you doing?"

"We need to talk."

Rorsh sat up on your bed. Your eyes instantly found something completely different about his body than you'd ever seen before. The site and realization of what it could be sent your head spinning. Where had that come from? You knew pokemon researchers and breeders spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out how pokemon breed because as far as any scan or examination showed they seemed to lack reproductive organs. Rorsh currently had what you believed was his on display. As Nox sat up he sported pretty much the exact same appendage springing out from between his hind legs, only his was of a much darker shade.

You closed your eyes. The idea that it had actually been them in your dreams started to solidify. But why now? Why was this the first time you saw such a thing on them? Or for that matter why hadn't images of this been published in scientific journals for breeders to read? Or even talked about? Were you hallucinating?

"Can we talk after I get dressed?"

"You don't need to leave to do that," Nox said in a whisper.

He almost sounded like you'd hurt his feelings. Like you had chastised him for something that he didn't know was wrong. Your stomach flopped and tightened painfully as you held onto the doorknob. Rorsh wasn't holding it closed but you had no illusions that if you made to open it, that it would close once more. He was right in a way - you did need to talk to them - but you weren't going to let him know that right off the bat. Besides you wanted to talk to them with your clothes on. Especially since it was becoming clearer and clearer by the moment that it hadn't been you who had made up such a dream.

"Stop being so childish."

You turned to face Rorsh right there and then, your eyes turning into a bit of a glare as you stared at him. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Stop trying to run away and let's talk about this."

Oh the nerve! Sure you were extremely embarrassed and mildly nauseous over what had occurred but that didn't give him the right to tell you that you were behaving like a child. If anything you would have to say that holding the door closed when you had tried to get out was the childish thing to do. But you weren't going to say that aloud. That would only bring you down to his level. And you were supposed to be the one in charge, not him, or at least as incharge as a partnership could be. It was more like a guiding hand really but — okay, way off topic.

You took a step back away from the door, away from him, when Rorsh moved in close. He paused there and just like Nox from a moment ago you felt as though you had hurt him. It had been something you hadn't meant to do. You had meant to hold your ground but that step back had been unavoidable. Your mind raced with the fact that if he could enter your mind, if he could hold the door closed when you wanted out, what else was he capable of?

"I would never hurt you."

Rorsh's words were a promise, you knew that. You also knew that he didn't realize how much he had already hurt you. When he left it had hurt, far more than any bump or bruise you had gotten over your life. It had cut down into your heart and ripped out a part of your soul. He had made you realize that you weren't good enough to have his loyalty. That you were an overgrown child playing the part of an adult. Like a kid that followed their parents to work and tried to imitate them. Hell, worse than that because even ten year olds could get their pokemon to stay by them for life. Yet you hadn't been able to inspire his loyalty in such a way.

"Because you're better than me, I know," you couldn't help but whisper bitterly.

You were trying to be a better person, you really were. But there was so much swirling around inside of you that holding it all in felt impossible. Like how that one comment had slipped out and left hundred others still on the tip of your tongue. As soon as it did you regretted it. Not for the fact that it left Rorsh extremely puzzled but because of the fact that you wanted to have remained silent.

Nox moved off of the bed and at his approach you were consciously able to stop from moving back. His lowered head brushed up against your robe covered hip, pushing the length of his body alongside your leg as he curled around you, only stopping when he got in front of you. With his nose he pushed at your stomach, trying to move you away from the door. There weren't any understandable words coming out of his mouth, or his mind or however it was that you understood them. All you got was a bunch of emotions - fear, hurt, love. He might have been more vocal than Rorsh but it was vocal in a whole lot of different ways. Like the little sounds he made of encouragement as you took a seat on the ground in the corner.

You made sure to keep your legs closed with them folded beside you sort of like a hook. That way the robe couldn't even think about coming open and revealing anything. Which you had never had to worry about before around them.

"I've...hurt you greatly, already haven't I?"

Instead of answering Rorsh's prompt, you turned your gaze away from him. You didn't want to open your mouth because you weren't really sure what was going to come out. It could have been hurtful word, the truth, lies, or heck even vomit based on the acid taste on your tongue. Sure you'd come out of the bathroom wanting to demand answers but once you got confronted with the idea of actually getting them...well, everything kind of changed. You looked over to Ember for any sort of assistance. He looked up only briefly before shaking his head, laying it back down on his finely groomed tail and staring away from this confrontation.

"I left because…"

As Nox laid down at your feet, he cut into Rorsh's declaration. "He's a bastard and doesn't love you as much as I do."

You knew Nox was probably just trying to take a jab at Rorsh. But hearing him say that, something that you kind of feared ever since Rorsh had left, sliced through your already fragile ego. You had loved Rorsh beyond reason, beyond thought, but he had left. And while you loved Nox just as much the wound from Rorsh had devastated you. It was like having part of you ripped out. Even though he had returned you still weren't sure you would ever be able to get that piece of yourself back.

Rorsh snapped at Nox. He wasn't even subtle about it. If it wasn't for the fact that Nox had been able to flick his ear out of the way just in time, you'd have a pokemon needing some medical help.

"That is not why!"

"Then why?" you finally got out in a broken whisper.

Nox sat down a foot away from you. And, you noted, far enough away that Nox couldn't easily retaliate. He lowered his muzzle so that he could look directly into your eyes.

"Because I didn't want to share you with him."

"With Nox?" You questioned with confusion.

It was natural for humans to have multiple pokemon by their side. Rorsh had grown up knowing that you would eventually be a pokemon breeder. And with that came the fact that you would have to raise a lot of different pokemon, some which would seem permanent and others that would be temporary. He had never had a major issue before he ran off. Sure he and Nox, when Nox had been an eevee, had their little issues but those were normal. Like siblings if nothing else. It wasn't until Rorsh came back that the real violence even reared it's head. And what a head that had been.

"With that human."

The way he said that statement had not been flattering in the least. It was like he'd cursed the 'human' five hundred ways before spitting it out.

"Max?" you tried.

Rorsh's lips rose up as fangs were exposed. You noted, idly, that they weren't as large as Nox's. Nox's were actually quite intimidating. Rorsh's almost seemed cute and demure comparatively. And from the way that Nox shifted closer to you, and the way that he seemed to take offense to the very name you were pretty sure he agreed with Rorsh.

"...I'm lost," you admitted.

"You were going to be his mate. I refused to share you."

Your mouth opened up at the absurdity which spewed from him. He thought you and Max were going to mate? Or be mates, whatever that difference was.

"I was fifteen!" Was the first thing that came out of your mouth, and it sounded more like an accusation even to your ears.

"You were thinking about pregnancy," Nox pointed out.

So unhelpful. Rorsh's mood seemed to darken and Nox himself sounded like that thought was something foul in and of itself. Even Ember over in his bed against your back wall looked up at that. Of course there didn't seem to be as much anger rolling off of him so much as confusion.

"I thought it was absurd," you said with your eyes narrowed on Nox. "You were the one under the blanket, curled up, making me look pregnant. I was half asleep. I was laughing at how weird it was."

"You were thinking about mating him."

"You were the one invading my thoughts and you're blaming me for what you saw in there?" you said, your jaw shifting with tension. "Just because I thought about things every normal teenager does, doesn't mean I was going to act on it. And you left because of some thoughts that everyone my age has at some points. Because you didn't want to share me? How did leaving help with that?"

Granted you hadn't seen much of Max in the last year. He'd gotten into high school and you'd gotten into learning about pokemon almost 24 / 7. Sure you and he talked on the phone and hung out on weekends but it was few and far between.

"I needed to learn how to keep you."

"Keep me?" you asked with a bit of a snap still in your town.

"You love me."

"Us," Nox butted in, rubbing his head against your covered legs.

"You love us but we aren't human."

You tried to hold in any comment that wanted to slip by. You also stopped the eyeroll that wanted to happen. It really was a no-duh statement, but you knew that Rorsh wasn't done yet. Considering this is the most you had heard from him in a long while...well, you were interested in where he was going with this.

"I had to learn how to keep you like a human male."

"So you thought dream sex was the answer," okay, so curiousity took a back seat to a bit of sass. You were, after all, still a bit revolted at what he'd done. "You realize how disgusted I felt with myself when I figured out it wasn't just a figment of my imagination?"

"You didn't like it?" Nox asked as he looked up at you with wide red eyes. "It sounded like you liked it."

"That's the point. I liked it and then I realized it was you guys. It's just...wrong. Like, throw me in jail and lock away the key wrong. Humans and pokemon just aren't supposed to do that kind of thing."

"Which is why I had to learn to be a human for you. I can't do it physically but I learned to be a man mentally."

"And that took a year? A year that I didn't see you, that I thought I did something completely wrong, a year where I didn't know where you were? Oh, great plan. Especially since you never even asked if I was okay with you invading my dreams."

Nox placed his head on your lap. Without even thinking about it you brushed your fingers through the fur on the top of his head. Rorsh sat in silence for a moment as he watched the interaction. There was so much he had learned, which you weren't even going to ask again where he learned it, and yet the simple idea of permission had slipped through his grasp.

"I don't ever want you inside my head again, Rorsh. That's not okay. Do you understand me?"

He tilted his head to the side, red jewel completely dormant at the moment. You watched his eyes flicker back and forth over your face as his split tail wrapped around his feet.

"You want us to mate with you in real life?" Nox asked as his ears flickered against your hand.

"What? No! Stars above no!" You balked at the idea. "I'm the teenage human and you're the two who are obsessed with sex. What did I do wrong?"

"What?" The dark type pokemon spoke out.

"So I got you when you were already hatched, Nox so I get that it's not as strange but...Rorsh, I got you when you were an egg. When pokemon hatch they're supposed to imprint a parental bond on the first person or pokemon they see. What went wrong?"

"I never imprinted you as my mother. You were just always mine," Rorsh answered you.

"But you ran away."

Nox nodded against your leg, smiling and agreeing with you. He liked watching Rorsh get the cold shoulder. He liked the fact that you were constantly reminding Rorsh of how he screwed up.

"I needed to learn how to--"

"Keep me, yeah, I got that part. That whole twisted notion that you needed to learn to be human in my mind so you can sleep sleep with me. But you forgot to ask me if I would be okay with that. Which I am totally not. Totally not okay with you in my head pretending to be human just so we can...can have sex."

That last part came out as a furious whisper. The walls of your house might be thick but the idea of your parents overhearing you talking to Nox and Rorsh was beyond embarrassing.

"And you left for a year. Instead of just asking me, you left. Then you came back and invaded my dreams but never came to see me, never let me know you were alright. Now this? Do you realize the hell that puts on me?"

Rorsh's head was bowed as you spewed harsh whispers at him.

"I am years away from deciding if I want a mate but even if I decided to have a relationship, I would never leave you guys. So I don't know why you thought you needed to keep me. And right now I don't care. Right now, all I can think about is the fact that you used your powers to invade my mind and you took Nox with you. I don't care about whatever messed up agreement you came up with. The both of you were in my mind and touched me without my permission. If that had been a human doing that to me, it'd be called rape. And if you want to figure out what that is you can ask someone who isn't me," you bit out, feeling the rising emotions taking over your tongue. "And you know what? Until you both realize how wrong that was, I don't want to to touch me."

Nox looked up from his spot. In the moment that he moved his head, you pulled your leg away. Then you stood up. You wouldn't send them away because this was their home just as much it was yours. But you needed to get the memory of what they had done to you in the bathtub out of your head. Considering how much Nox and Rorsh wanted to brush up against you at every moment of the day you figured this was about as good of a punishment as you could uphold.

As you walked to your bed, you felt Rorsh's tail try to brush up against your leg. He really didn't get it did he? You moved out of the way, practically tripping just to move far enough, and landed on your bed. The look you gave the both of them was full of your self-disgust.

You loved them but right now, the sight of them made you feel sick.
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Awakening