Darker Than You

Authors Note: Ok, this is completly different then what Katou\'s real life is like. Sae is being replaced by a younger sister, Katline, who is a complete jerk to him and his mother. His mother is basically what Sae is, only doesn\'t call him Yue-chan or anything to that matter. Robert is Katou\'s \"Father\" the one that raised him that is. Still abusive, and yes... he has an American name, because he originated from America, haven\'t completly worked out why he\'s in Tokyo or anything just yet, but yeah. This is just something I put together at random. Thank you and enjoy.


Warning: Might be some OOC, rape, yaoi, angst, suicidal thoughts, attempt suicide, drug abuse, child abuse, wife abuse, cussing, lemons, and VERY bad spelling and about anything else that I might and will add to this story.

Rated: You\'ve read this far, you tell me!!

Disclaimer: I don\'t own any of the characters of Angel Sanctuary and the names I use for Katou\'s family are not really there either. And **YES**, I do know his real family and all that crap but this is an AU fic.

Time Frame: uh... no where, its AU thank you.

Told from Katou\'s POV.

~Part 20~

My eyes snapped opened. I was sprawled out on the cold hard bench which I had somehow dozed off on. I layed there.. hurting all over from staying in one postion. I\'m suprised I wasn\'t runned out by some passing by police man or something. But then I guess I just got invisable or something and no one noticed lil o\' me there laying away in my misary like a stupid little child that I am. Hurt and alone in this unhelpful world. Yep thats me.

Thats Katou Yue. Which wasn\'t much of a title. A sissy name and a last name that I didn\'t want to have attached to the sissy name. Why couldn\'t I have gotten a better name. And why had Mama let Robert name me?

I looked up at the now faintly glowing sky. It was almost sunrise. Almost. Just not quite. And it was wet and cold out here. On a fucking bench.

I tried to sort threw thoughts. Little random ideals that needed to be catagorized and logged away for later thoughts on. I should be able to think properly. I mean really should be able to think now that the shock was all over and such.

I remember now that Katline wasn\'t beared by Mama. Though I never knew how she came into the picture, she just did. And I wonder now... who the hell is she?

I mean she hates me to no end. And she also every so often shows just a hint of kindness in my general direction without really meaning it. She\'s perfect and what I should be modled after, but Robert would hate it even worst if I wasn\'t such a loser son that isn\'t his so he can boast about how good his daughter is and now the son that lives in the house. And she really is Robert\'s child. By blood.

I place my right arm over my forhead and roll onto my back, hearing it pop lightly. My stomach grumbles at me lightly. Maybe I should get something to eat. But right now.. I didn\'t want to move. This bench was my small little sanctuary right now away from the world. It was so quiet and peaceful with the looming statue about 20 feet away and the sun rise coming over the trees. Some birds started to chirp and sing happily that the new day was here for them to sing about. And I just layed here thinking to myself about it all.

Everything that has been going on for the last few months running threw my mind. The whole ordeal with Yoji and with Kira. And with Mama, and the beatings. I hadn\'t been to school for a while. Nor did I really care if I went or not. Right now no one was forceing me to do anything. It was my own time now. And there wasn\'t anything more that I wanted than this. This peace in my mind. This empty happiness.

I slowly began to peal myself from my bench hearing bones grind together and click and pop at me in complaints. Not that I really payed attention now did I? I started to walk off my mind going numb with no thought running threw..

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The subway was louder than anything there is known to man when the trains come in and theres people and its rush hour. I dodged and wond myself around people. I wasn\'t in the mood for anything warm and fleshy or clothed to touch me. At least not was already on my body.

My trained eyes searched around for easy people. And there where several easy targets. I\'d put aside my whole I don\'t want to be touched and slamm into them. They give me this blank stare as my hand slips into a pocket or a purse and pull out a wallet. Heh, I hadn\'t lost my touch. Even though I hadn\'t been doing this that much as of lately. Kira usually kept me under control. But right now, he wasn\'t even on my mind. Except when I was counting the money I had collected.

I got a few other things as well. Pictures of happy people together. Smiling.

Over all I got about $400. Not bad. Not bad at all. And just as I finish counting, rush hour was over. A few people remained scattered here and there.

I had gotten this money for a reason. And a very good reason to boot. It wouldn\'t buy much, but it get me enough to do something. I was walking again.

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I knocked three times on the door and then shoved my hands in my pockets. I waited, feeling jumpy being here again. Here with all my bad memorys. But I didn\'t know where Tsumo hung out and I had always relied on... him... for buying me shit. And right now, I really needed something in me. You know, to get me going again.

He opened the door and stared at me dumbstruck. I stared back at him. I felt horribly disgusted and almost happy to see him. He stared at me threw the screen door. Red hair looking oily and dirty, close nice and chrisp.

\"You want something?\" Yoji asked sternly, giving me the eye. He seemed almost confused about what I was doing there. Fuck I would be too. When you do that type of shit to someone you don\'t expect them to come back. Thats... kinda how I was feeling with Kira.

\"You got anything for 400?\" I say in a cold tone.

\"Sure. What you want? Come in.\"

\"I\'ll just wait here. I dunno, er... something strong and potent hopefully.\"

\" \'kay. Stay.\" And with that he ran off. I stand there looking at the screen door. Waiting for him to come back. And he did. With a little baggy. He opened the screen door and stared at me. Shook his head and held it out slightly.

\"Heroin.\"

\"Good enough,\" I stated and pulled out the wad of money and handed it to him. I thought about my dept to Tsumo just then. Fuck. This wasn\'t a good idea. I sighed.

\"You know what. I fucking just remembered I owe Tsumo like 400 or something. Favour for me? Give him this and lets just fucking forget the heroin,\" I growled lowly.

He smirked at me, almost scaring me as he got this odd expression. The screen was all that was sepeerating us from each other. And it wasn\'t enough. At least not for me but, oh well. I mentally shrug.

\"You know what Katou? I fucked you over. You just fucking pay for the heroin and I\'ll pay Tsumo as an offer of forgiveness..\" He said while opening the screen removing the money from my hand and shoving it into the money\'s place. I smirked at him. Asshole. Thinking that that would win me over. Oh well, either way I got 2 things taken care of.

I nodded to him mumbled a thanks and took off walking again. Towards home, where I snuck in. I hadn\'t used heroin in a while, but soon my hands fell back into the grove.

I locked my door and pulled out my kit out of Mr. Snuffles and just smirked the fucking bear. Damned thing.

\"You fucked me over \'Dad\'. I mean really fucked me over,\" I growled to the brown thing wishing I could fucking say that to my \'real\' father. Oh what I wouldn\'t give for that one moment to meet the fucker and give him a piece of my mind.


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To Be Continued...



Wow.... this has to be my longest chapter yet. ^_^ Writters block is gone. I got some more hinting here, but not to much. Wow... 20 fucking chapters... oo;