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Only in Your Eyes Am I Worthy	By : Lucythebeast Category: +M to R > Neon Genesis Evangelion Views: 28767 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author�s Note: Here�s a new chapter for your viewing
pleasure. The flashback scene right at the beginning should be somewhat
familiar to you all� think of the elevator scene near the end of the series. �She
didn�t slap me this time.� Rei said, eh? She doesn�t
understand why she said that, but we all do, right? Anyway, I hope you enjoy
reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Required
Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some
jelly donuts around here now, however� Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!
And stuff.

Chapter 19: Goodbye
Blue Sky

After leaving the
psychotherapist�s office, Asuka took a walk to clear
her mind and order her thoughts. During the time that she had spent with Rei, the first child had told her something quite out of
the blue.

�If you don�t open your mind to her, you and
your Eva will be in conflict.� Rei said in a
mysterious tone.

The change of subject had taken the second
child by surprise. �Are you saying I�m causing my own problems?! That I�m
shutting myself out?!�

�Yes. Because your
Eva has her own mind.� The blue-haired girl responded.

�It�s just a big toy.� Asuka
huffed in annoyance.

�You are aware of it, aren�t you?� Rei inquired, not even looking at the other pilot as they
walked towards one of the few remaining stores that were open to purchase food.

The German girl scowled in annoyance. �I don�t
know what you�re talking about.�

�Your Eva�s mind. And soul. You have felt it.� The first child affirmed.

Asuka�s
face turned as red as her hair as fury burned its way through her, and her
hands became clenched fist. �I have felt nothing. My Eva is nothing but a big
toy, and it does what I tell it to! If your Eva seems to have a mind
of its own, then it must be your own fucked up mind!�

The red-eyed girl turned just enough to fix
her gaze on her fellow pilot. �Is that what you believe� about your own Eva?�

The German girl�s eyes widened in outrage. A
few tense moments passed, and then she let out a long, heavy breath. �Let�s
just get some food. We�ll get all my favorites to make up for you upsetting me.�
The girl proclaimed in a tone that suggested she was letting the other pilot
off easy. Rei, of course, remained silent.

Asuka frowned at the memory, wondering why the
girl�s words bothered her so much. And why she had even said them. Was she
actually� concerned? The strangest part had been the girl�s reaction
afterwards. Though it was hard to tell by the first child�s quiet demeanor, she
had seemed almost� happy. As if she had expected the talk to go badly. �I
suppose I have been rather violent lately�� The girl muttered in annoyance.

She looked up and
was only mildly surprised to realize she had entered NERV headquarters and walked
all the way to where her Eva was stored. She leaned her elbows onto the railing
and stared up at the giant mecha. �Your
own mind? Is that why I sense� no. Rei doesn�t
know what she�s talking about. You�re nothing but a big toy.� She was less
confident in that statement now than she was the previous day, however.

�Do you always
converse with your toys in such a manner, Ms. Soryu?�
A gentle male voice inquired off to her left.

Asuka straightened up immediately and spun to
face the person that was speaking to her. �Wha?� Her eyes narrowed when she saw who it was. �Nagisa.� She spat out the name as
if it were venom.

�Please, call me
Kaoru, Ms. Soryu. My friends use my personal name.�
The boy requested with a gentle smile.

�What are you doing
here, Nagisa?�
Asuka demanded.

The fifth child
shook his head a little sadly. �Such aggression. What
have I done to deserve your ire?�

The second child
pointed at Unit 02. �That is my Eva. Mine!
You are unnecessary and an insult to my abilities as a pilot.�

The silver-haired
boy shrugged, casually placing his hands into his pockets and turned to look at
the giant red mecha. �Unit 02 is her
own. Regardless, I have heard of your difficulties as of late. It may
not be a bad idea to rest. You have fought long and hard, you have no further
need to prove yourself to anyone.�

Asuka hissed in annoyance, only briefly wondering
if she could get away with tossing the other pilot into the pit below them. �I
don�t have to explain my reasons to you. I am proud to be an Eva pilot, and I
have no need to rest.�

Kaoru quirked an
eyebrow up a bit and casually leaned back against the railing overlooking Unit
02. �Fascinating. I did not expect your situation to be so different this
time��

Asuka blinked. �What are you talking about, Nagisa?�

�Are you lonely,
Ms. Soryu?� The boy inquired, changing the subject.

The German girl
huffed, crossed her arms, and looked away from the silver-haired boy, leaning
back against the railing as well. �What business is that of yours?�

�It is the
fundamental nature of humanity to be alone. It�s saddening.� Kaoru elaborated.

�I have friends.� Asuka argued, finding the other pilot�s words to be
perplexing. <Why is he so strange?>

The fifth child
nodded. �And yet, you still have the ache in your heart. That ache is
loneliness. There is so much joy that humankind is capable of� you yourself
could seek out so much. But fear holds you back. Loneliness is pain� but it is
a comfortable pain. A familiar one. To reach out for
joy is to step away from that comfort. Why is that, Ms. Soryu?
Why do the lillium deny their own desires for joy,
and wallow in their comfortable loneliness and pain?�

The red-haired girl
stared at the boy. Finally, after several minutes of silence, she responded. �And
they say I�m crazy.� She let out a �hmph�, spun on her heel, and
walked away.

Kaoru laughed
softly and looked up at Unit 02. �She is her mother�s daughter.� He turned to
go the opposite direction as the other pilot and hummed softly to himself. �Thank
you, Shinji-kun. I�m glad I had the chance to talk to Ms. Soryu
this time.�

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maya walked up to
the door to Misato�s apartment, still debating what she was going to say to the
boy. Everything she thought of to say about the blue cells that ended up in her
blood on account of the sex act she did with the young Ikari
made it sound like she wanted to do so again but with the correct protective
measures. What was worse, she knew that when she denied wanting any further
sexual misconduct with the boy, it would sound too harsh and crush him. So, she
felt it best not to say anything about the matter at all. <Then why am I about to knock on his door?>
She wondered.

A fraction of a
second before her knuckles came into contact with the door, it opened. Not
reacting in time, she ended up knocking on the young Ikari�s
forehead. �Ow!� Shinji cried, backing away and
rubbing his sore head.

�Oh! I�m so sorry,
Shinji-kun! I was about to knock.� Maya blushed in embarrassment.

The third child
blinked and looked at the pretty captain, a blush creeping into his cheeks as
well. �Ah� are you here to see Misato-san?� He asked, glancing back towards the
major�s room.

Captain Ibuki shook her head. �Not exactly.
I came to see� uh� were you going out?� <Oh good, if he goes out, I don�t have to
deal with this conversation right now.>

Shinji nodded. �Hai� I needed to speak to my fa�
ah� the commander.�

Maya nodded. �I
see.�

Shinji waited
patiently, thinking the captain was about to ask him something. He glanced back
at Rei, a pang of guilt running through him and he
hoped the older girl wouldn�t say something that might jeopardize his
burgeoning relationship with the first child, assuming he really did have a
burgeoning relationship with her.

Captain Ibuki coughed nervously and couldn�t think of anything to
say.

�Ah� I should head
into NERV then.� The young Ikari stated, hoping the
captain would get the hint and step out of the way� and not say anything about
their strange encounter.

�Oh! Yes, of
course.� Maya blushed, realizing she was still standing in the doorway. �Gomen, Shinji-kun.� She stepped
out of the way and bit her lip nervously. She had to say something� then she
spotted the young Ayanami behind the third child. �Oh, Ayanami! Are you going to
NERV also?�

�I am returning
home.� Rei replied calmly.

Realizing she
needed a valid reason to justify her presence in the Ikari
home, she immediately came up with a brilliant idea. �I was hoping to run into
you, Ayanami. We haven�t had a day out together in
quite some time. I figured you might enjoy it, being cooped up in your home all
this time recovering.�

Shinji froze as he
was heading down the hall and turned to regard the two girls. �You are friends
with Ayanami?� He asked the captain in surprise.

Maya grinned
sheepishly, ignoring the skeptical look that Rei gave
her. �Well we had a girls� night out a few months ago and we never really had a
chance to do it again.� It wasn�t really true. There were lots of days where
she was lonely and Rei was home alone and she could
have decided to go out with her again. But she wasn�t going to say that.

�Are you ordering
me to accompany you today, Ibuki-chuii?� The red-eyed
girl inquired in her normal soft voice.

The captain blushed
and laughed nervously. �That�s just something she says� it�s our thing. Ah, and
it�s captain now, Ayanami.
And you can call me Maya.� A little softer so that only the first child could
hear her, she added, �And yes, it�s an order.�

�Then I shall
accompany you, Ibuki-taii.� Rei
responded evenly.

�Maya.� The young Ibuki
corrected automatically. �Well, goodbye now, Shinji-kun.� She smiled at the boy
pleasantly, still feeling embarrassed.

Shinji blinked
several times, still baffled about what was going on, and then bowed and left.

Maya let out a long
breath and smiled at the red-eyed girl. �So, what do you want to do today, Rei-chan?�

�I wish to return
home.� Rei deadpanned.

Captain Ibuki sighed. �Other than that.�

The first child
blinked and was silent, considering it. Finally, as they reached the outside,
she suggested, �Perhaps we could do some grocery shopping.�

Maya rolled her
eyes. �You really don�t get the whole �fun� thing, do you?� She inquired. After
receiving a blank stare from the blue-haired girl, she decided to take matters
into her own hands. �How about a movie, like last time?
Another love story, perhaps?�

Ayanami considered that then nodded once. �Perhaps.�

They did in fact
end up seeing a love story, a sad one at that. Afterwards, when they were
leaving the theater and heading towards a restaurant to have lunch, Maya looked
at the younger girl and noticed she looked a little perplexed. A subtle change,
but she felt happy to be able to notice it now. �Rei-chan? You look confused.�

The first child
looked up at the captain and nodded once. �I do not understand why Sato-san was
so angry with Hoshiko-san.�

The captain thought
about that for a few moments then replied, �Sato-san? Oh, Ayame?
She was jealous because her betrothed fell in love with Hoshiko.
She had an arranged marriage with Yoshikawa, but this other woman threatened
that, because he fell in love with her.�

Rei turned her red eyes to the captain, still
not comprehending the problem. �I do not understand.�

Maya blinked. �What,
arranged marriage?�

�Jealousy.� The first child replied.

<Oh boy�> Ibuki
groaned inwardly, wondering how she was to explain that. �It�s um� when you�re
afraid to lose someone you care about because they care about someone else.�

�I do not
understand. Love is freely given and freely accepted, it is not a possession to
be coveted.� Rei argued.

The captain didn�t
really understand what the pilot meant by that. �Well, it goes beyond love.
There is also security and affection that go along with love. If Yoshikawa no
longer loves Ayame, the security and affection that
accompany that love are gone as well. She would be left with nothing.�

�Yoshikawa loved
both women. Ayame had nothing to fear. There was no
cause for jealousy.� The red-eyed girl explained, in a tone that suggested she
was trying to educate an ignorant child.

Maya sighed. �I
think you�ll understand when you are older, and are in love.�

Rei blinked. �So to be in love is to be jealous
and possessive?�

The captain pointed
to a restaurant. Given that there were only two restaurants still open, it wasn�t
like it was much of a choice, but Rei nodded anyway. �Not
ideally, no. But the reality is, when you love someone, you want to hang onto
that love. Jealousy and possessiveness tend to result from it.�

After they were
seated, they looked at their menus. �I do not believe it is always the case, Ibu.. Maya-san.
If you love someone, and they love you, what does it matter if they love
another as well?� The first child glanced at the captain over the menu for a
moment as she pointed that out.

�Because it�s� I
don�t know. I�m no one to talk. It�s not like I�ve ever really been in love.�
Maya couldn�t keep all of the bitterness out of her tone when she admitted
that.

The captain was
about to continue when a realization suddenly dawned on her. �Oh my�� She bit
her tongue to keep from asking the girl if she was in love with Shinji. In
fact, she nearly drew blood. <If she�s
in love with Shinji� does she know what I did with him? Is that why she�s
saying this?!> She peered over her menu to look at the first child.

Rei met her gaze, but made no comment.

<Oh shit.> �Ah� the oyakodon (Mother and Child Domburi,
it�s most commonly chicken and egg though rarely it�s sometimes salmon and
salmon eggs) sounds good.� Maya stated, trying to change the subject, as well
as trying not to sweat.

The first child
glanced down at the menu. �So, you would devour the flesh of both the mother and the child?�

The captain laughed
nervously. �When you put it that way� uh� what are you getting?�

The blue-haired
girl looked back over the menu. �Miso
soup with wakame (a kind of seaweed), and rice with
sea vegetables.�

Maya frowned
slightly in thought, and then remembered what the girl said a few moments
before. �Are you a vegetarian?� She asked in surprise.

�Hai.� Rei responded with a nod.

The young captain�s
brow furrowed a bit as she considered that. �Do you eat any meat? Fish? Eggs?
Milk?�

�One does not have
to devour the flesh of the living to enjoy a good meal, Maya-san.� The first
child responded evenly.

Maya blushed
slightly and shrugged. �Perhaps. But it sure is tasty.�

Rei was silent in thought as she sipped some
water and considered the menu. �There are times that I eat noodles that are
likely egg-based. I prefer to think they are grain-based, but in this day and
age, you can never be sure. But when possible, I eat nothing that a living
creature died or suffered for.�

The captain felt
embarrassed, because she really
wanted that oyakodon. �Does it offend you if others
eat meat?�

�I am responsible
for no one�s sin but my own. Order the oyakodon if
that is what you desire, Maya-san.� The blue-haired girl replied.

For the second time
that day, Maya had the feeling that Rei was talking
about more than just the obvious. She looked up at the pilot and tried to think
of a comment to make, but none came to her. A moment later, a waitress came by
to take their orders.

�Ah� so did you
ever get a computer? Or a game station?� Ibuki finally inquired to break the silence.

Rei stared at the other woman silently for
several long moments before responding. �I have not.�

�I think we should
remedy that, Rei-chan.� Maya smiled as she stated
that.

�If
that is your desire.� Ayanami replied.

So on the way to
the first child�s apartment, they stopped at a gaming store and they ended up
purchasing a Playstation 4 as well as Final Fantasy
16. (hehe) �I think you�ll
like this game. I play it for hours.�
Maya informed the young pilot with a smile.

�Perhaps.� Rei replied
evenly.

When they reached
the young Ayanami�s house, however, the smile dropped
from the captain�s lips. �You don�t have a TV?� She asked in a shocked tone.

�I do not.� Ayanami responded in the same even tone as before.

Maya blinked
several times. She couldn�t conceive how a girl could live with neither a
television set nor a computer. �What
do you do all day?� She still couldn�t
wrap her mind around this revelation.

Rei sat down on her bed calmly. �I sleep. I
read. I play my violin.�

The captain shook
her head in disbelief. �That�s it!?�

The first child
contemplated that, and then replied, �Sometimes I go for a swim.�

The computer geek
groaned and slapped her forehead. �That decides it then. I�m going to have to
start spending some more time with you.�

The blue-haired
girl raised an eyebrow up slightly, but made no response.

Maya waited
patiently for some sort of reply, but then realized what the girl was waiting
for. �Yes, that is an order.� <Why
must it be an order? Why can�t you just enjoy the time you spend with me? Or do
you, but you don�t want to admit it?>

Rei nodded once. �Hai.�

The young Ibuki nodded as well and started heading towards the door,
taking a moment to put her shoes back on. �Next time we�ll get you a television
set, so don�t throw that game system away.�

The first child
nodded again. �Hai.�

The captain bowed. �Ok.
Good-bye, Rei-chan. I�ll be seeing you soon.�

�Hai, Maya-san. Thank you for spending time with me today.� Rei
replied politely.

Maya gave the girl
a radiant smile then left. She shook her head and muttered to herself, �Perhaps
there is hope for you yet, Rei-chan.�

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji made his way
through NERV headquarters, deep in thought. The idea that his father might know
why he had developed an S2 organ terrified him in a way, but he wasn�t sure
why. The best he could come up with was that there was some prophecy in the Dead Sea scrolls, along with the information used to
predict the coming of the angels. That, however, was not a comforting thought.
He barely glanced up in time to avoid running straight into Dr. Akagi. �Oh� good morning, Akagi-dono.� The third child greeted politely.

The doctor raised
an eyebrow curiously. �Good morning, Ikari. Did you have a sync test today?�

�Hai, but not until later this afternoon. I came to speak to the comm�.
ah, my father.� The boy replied, feeling anxious about the meeting.

Ritsuko scowled at the mention of the commander. �I
see. I won�t keep you then. Oh and Shinji-kun? You might want to keep your
fluids to yourself. It seems your blue S2 cells are contagious.�

Shinji froze,
stunned. �My� fluids?�

Dr. Akagi nodded. �You know� blood� semen.� She paused to let the latter example sink in and smirked
when the boy paled. �Stop by later, I�ll need to take a saliva and sweat
sample, to make sure they won�t cause any problems for anyone. I doubt it, but
just to be safe, ne?�

�But what if I� eh�
I mean if it happens, which it probably won�t� ever� but if I ever� ah�� The
blue-eyed boy wanted to faint. The whole time he was chanting in his head, <I mustn�t run away� I mustn�t run away�>

Understanding what
the boy was attempting to ask her, she sighed. �Condoms should be safe, as long
as you use them correctly.�

The young pilot
blinked. �Should be?� He asked in a meek voice.

�Theoretically.� Ritsuko affirmed.
�See you later, then.� Without waiting for a reply, the doctor left to get some
lunch.

Shinji stood there
for several minutes, agonizing over what he might have done to poor Maya. <She didn�t seem sick� but maybe she was
treated. Why didn�t she say anything? Oh� Rei-chan�
that�s why she was coming to see me, but she didn�t want to say anything in
front of her� thank the gods� But she�s spending the
day with Rei-chan� what if she mentions something? Rei-chan is going to kill me! I didn�t mean it! I�ll grovel
at her feet for an eternity! And what about poor Maya-san?! I�m so fucked up.>
He leaned back against the wall of the hallway and rubbed his temples,
desperately trying to calm down. Finally he took a deep steadying breath,
realizing he still needed to talk to his father. <I mustn�t run away� I mustn�t run away� I want to run away!!!>

The boy sighed, and
then resumed walking towards his father�s office. He felt like he�d rather
fight a hundred angels than come here, but he didn�t have a choice. If he
wanted answers, it was necessary. <Answers
are important� aren�t they? Maybe I don�t need to know�> The third child looked up and realized he was standing in
front of his father�s office. And so he stared at the door. After what seemed
an eternity, he finally raised his fist and knocked on the door.

�Enter, Ikari.� The commander�s voice came from a small speaker on
the wall.

Shinji paled,
realizing there must be a surveillance camera out here, likely for the
commander�s safety. <How long have I
been standing out here?> Taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, he entered.
He walked forward through the large office, staring at the ground the entire
time. It was the longest walk ever, or so it seemed to him. Once he stood
before his father�s desk, he stared at his feet.

Commander Ikari watched his son silently, waiting for the boy to
speak up about what he wanted. Normally he would prod him, but this time he
wanted the boy to summon up the courage on his own. And so he waited, with a
patience that would likely be legendary.

After what seemed
an eternity, Shinji raised his eyes up a bit, to confirm that his father really
was there. Immediately his eyes returned to the ground.

Gendo waited, still patiently, his hands folded
in front of his mouth. Luckily, he wasn�t working on anything urgent, because
it seemed it would take all day for the boy to speak up.

Shinji coughed
nervously.

Commander Ikari waited, still silent, still patient.

Shinji shifted the
weight on his feet, fixing his eyes on a single point on the ground. His mind
was completely blank.

Still, Gendo waited patiently.

Finally, 47 minutes
and 19 seconds later, Shinji raised his eyes up to meet his father�s. Or, more accurately, his father�s hands. �Father.�

�Ikari.� Gendo replied.

Shinji coughed
softly, returning his gaze to the floor.

The commander
waited patiently, once again.

Only 4 minutes and
33 seconds later this time, the third child raised his gaze back up, this time
to his father�s eyes. He could see the reflection of the Sephirotic
Tree in his father�s tinted glasses. He focused on that reflection, rather than
the cold, piercing gaze of the commander. �I seem to have developed an S2
organ.�

If Gendo was surprised, he didn�t show it. Actually, he didn�t
respond at all.

Shinji coughed,
looked back at his feet for several more minutes, and then raised his gaze back
up again. �Ayanami suggested I ask you about it.�

Commander Ikari remained silent.

Shinji blinked,
looked back down to his feet, and fixed his gaze there. 12 minutes and 9
seconds later, he realized his father was waiting for him to actually ask the
question. �Do you know why I have an S2 organ, father?�

�Yes.� Gendo replied immediately. But he volunteered no further
information.

The third child
raised his gaze back up to his father�s. �Why have I developed an S2 organ,
father?� His stomach was tied in knots, and he honestly felt like he was going
to pass out. This was the most nerve-wracking conversation he had ever had, and
the commander wasn�t exactly making it any easier.

Rather than answer
the question right away, however, the commander asked him a question. �What do
you know about Super Solenoid organs?�

Shinji�s eyes
narrowed in confusion, and then stared at his feet. �They are energy-producing
organs found in angels, similar to mitochondria found in human cells, but on a
much larger scale. The energy produced by S2 organs is picked up in what we
term blue light patterns.�

Commander Ikari was
silent for several moments. <Obviously
he has been paying attention.>
the commander thought, feeling a bit of pride in his son. �What else?� He
inquired.

The younger Ikari considered what his father was hinting at, and then
remembered their last conversation. �Ayanami has an
S2 organ as well, because you cloned her, including some angel DNA.�

�Correct.� Gendo replied.

Not seeing the relevance
of that information, Shinji met his father�s gaze again. �But why am I developing an S2 organ? Is it because
of my Eva unit incorporating that angel�s S2 organ into itself? Or when that
last angel was corrupting Rei-chan and I? Or did it
occur when my body was in a discorporate state inside my Eva unit?�

The commander was
silent for a long moment before he replied. �You are not developing an S2
organ. You are activating your S2 organ.�

A cold grip of fear
wormed its way through Shinji�s guts as he contemplated that, though it still
didn�t really make sense. �I� I don�t understand.�

�You have always had an S2 organ, Ikari.� Gendo explained, a touch
of compassion actually coming into his voice, surprisingly enough.

All the blood
drained out of the third child�s face. <What�
what could that mean?!> �W� why?!� It was all
he could manage to get out.

Commander Ikari took a breath, and then inquired, �Why does Ayanami have an S2 organ?�

�Be� because she
was killed. And you cloned her. When I asked you about it, you wouldn�t tell me
why you included angel DNA in her makeup� just that it gave her an S2 organ.�
The young pilot managed to choke out.

�One can clone the
human body, but the clone would have a unique soul, if it even has a soul at
all. Only a body cloned from an angel can host a soul that is artificially
introduced. Rei�s soul would have been lost had we
not used Lilith�s DNA in the process.� Gendo explained.

Panic gripped
Shinji�s heart. He had a feeling he knew where this conversation was leading,
but he needed to hear it before he believed it, if he could even believe it
then. �But what does this have to do with me?!� The boy cried in a shrill
voice.

Gendo was silent.

The third child met
his father�s gaze. Summoning up every scrap of courage in his soul, he
demanded, �Tell me.�

The commander
remained silent for nearly a minute. Then he spoke the words that changed
Shinji�s life forever. �You died, Shinji. Just as Rei
was cloned, with Lilith�s DNA to be able to house her
soul, you were cloned from Adam to be able to house your soul. That is why you have an S2 organ. You have always had it. It was simply inactive,
until recently.�

The younger Ikari stared at the older in shock and horror for several
minutes, then he turned his gaze away, his hands clenching into fists. �You�re
lying!� He cried finally. It was a joke� a horrible cruel joke, because
his father was a heartless bastard that didn�t give half a shit about him. It
had to be.

�I am not lying to
you, Shinji.� Gendo stated firmly.

Tears fell
unchecked from the boy�s eyes. He felt no shame in them, he was beyond shame. Beyond fear. Beyond� anything. He
was shocked numb. Finally, he composed himself enough to whisper one last
question. �Does� Rei-chan know?�

The commander was
silent for a long, tense pause, and then he responded. �I do not know. She
suspected it, I imagine, since she directed you to me.�

Shinji took a long,
deep breath, and then turned around to leave. Had he been thinking straight at
the time, he likely would have thought to ask when and how he died, but he
couldn�t think. He didn�t even know how to begin to process what his father
told him. So he simply left.

Gendo fell deep into thought after his son left.
On one hand, he was proud of his son, that he had shown enough courage to ask
him about all this. On the other, he felt sympathy for the boy in what he was
going through, but he would never show it outwardly. And it was also not lost
on him that his son had referred to Rei in such an
endearing tone. He wasn�t sure how to feel about that anymore, so he decided to
worry about it later. Much later. Preferably after
Third Impact, when it would no longer matter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another chapter so
soon! Yay! I appreciate all the reviews encouraging
me with the last chapter, and I hope they continue with this one. Lots of interesting things going on, hopefully not just in my
estimation. In the next chapter, you can look forward to Shinji and Rei having a heart to heart conversation. This IS a Shinji-Rei romance story, so they have to talk some, right?! Kaoru
wanted the chapter off because Pen-Pen challenged him to some video game or
other, or at least that�s what he told me, but I told him it was too bad
because the children have sync tests to do! He can�t just run off and play when
he has to work! Asuka will of course be around as
well, because lots of important things are going on with her too. Some other
interesting things will likely happen� we�ll see. Arrivederci!
- 18
- 19
- 20
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Only in Your Eyes Am I Worthy