The Key to My Heart

Title: The Key to My Heart: Chapter 19
Author: JadeHeart
Archived: Found on gurabiteshiyon.net. If anyone else would like it, please ask me first!
Fandom: Gravitation
Rating: R
Warnings: angst
Timeline: After the anime/manga finishes.
Characters: Shuichi
Feedback: Feedback is always welcome! If I don’t get feedback, I don’t want to continue!
Summary: Just how far would Yuki go in search of Shuichi?

Author’s Notes : I think Shuichi would have a couple of ipods as I indicated at the start of the story. One for all the music he would like from other sources, one for just Bad Luck stuff which would be more of a work purpose. I know they hold a lot of information, but I do think he would keep his Bad Luck music separate so he could concentrate and listen to just that. So that is the one that Yuki has brought with him!

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, they belong to the creators of ‘Gravitation’ , nor am I making any profits from this.


The Key to My Heart: Chapter 19


Stupid!

Foolish!

Pathetic!

Idiotic!

Puerile!

Brainless!

Fucking!

Moron!

The words were in time with Yuki’s long stride, fast and hard, as his feet hit the pavement as though he was trying to break through the ground, to crush something beneath his feet.

Moron! Moron! Moron! MORON!

He didn’t know who he meant. Shuichi, or himself? Who was the moron here? Who was the one that was being a fool? Why didn’t he just tell Shuichi who he really was? Why didn’t he tell the boy that they had been living together, and had been for sometime now?

He was a coward! A coward through and through. He didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to be rejected. Him! Eiri Yuki afraid of a kid barely out of his teens rejecting him! He should have just grabbed the kid and kissed him senseless!

Fucking brat!

He looked up to take note of where he had come to. His angry feet had taken him directly to a club that was still open. In fact it never closed since it ran twenty-four hours. It was dingy place, a bit of a dive, and a girly bar to boot. Yuki stalked down the stairs, ducking his head under the hanging signs. He didn’t care what sort of place it was. He just wanted a drink!

He opened the door and entered the darkness, brushing through the heavy smoke that made his own fingers each for a cigarette. He pushed his way to the bar, not caring how rude he was. A few angry mutters, curses, and swearing followed his path. One large man tried to grab his arm, threatening him, but a swift glare from Yuki’s cold golden eyes, narrowed in anger, was enough for the man to loosen his grip and allow Yuki to continue on unimpeded.

He reached the bar and sat, motioning to the bar girl. “Scotch. Double.” he said, hand fishing into his coat and finding his cigarette packet and lighter. As he lit one, his drink appeared before him. He tossed some money onto the counter and said, “Keep ‘em coming.”, before picking up the glass and taking a long swallow.

The fiery liquid slid down his throat, burning a trail as it went. Yuki felt it hit his stomach. Hard. He hadn’t eaten all that day. He hadn’t been able to. His impending meeting with Shuichi tonight had put his stomach in knots the whole time and Yuki knew that there was no way he could keep any food down.

He took another long drink, the ice cubes shifting and settling as he returned the glass to the bar. He knew he hadn’t been looking after himself. Food, sleep, those were all secondary irritations at the moment. Had been for some time. When he started to get dizzy and lose his focus, he would remember to feed his body. Without Tohma there to badger him, he hadn’t really bothered much with looking after himself.

He let out a snort. Wouldn’t bloody Tohma love to know that! He threw back the last of the alcohol and thumped the glass down hard on the top, ice rattling.

Damn Tohma! He was always so calm, so in control. Nothing ever got in his way. Nothing ever didn’t go the way he wanted it to. Yuki drew on the last of his current cigarette. Well, nothing except for Yuki.

He stubbed out his cigarette and before he could get irate, another drink appeared almost miraculously before him. He thought he could get to like this place, they knew how to look after their patrons.

He reached out for the drink and picked it up, taking a swallow immediately. He couldn’t feel the sting of the alcohol any more. Now it just felt smooth, as it cascaded down his throat. It was creating a nice warm glow inside him, beginning in his stomach and permeating outwards.

He lit another cigarette, turning around so he could lean his back against the bar. The scene before him could have been one from Hell. The smoke was thick, the multi-coloured lighting filtering through the haze seemed broken and danced crazily. Bodies on the floor moved, some in time to the music, others in time to some insane beat inside themselves. It was a seething, writhing, mass of movement like a cess pool.

Barely clad girls gyrated and paraded across the raised walkways, dotted around the room. Breasts jiggled, arse cheeks thrust out. The dancing was nothing more than simulated sexual acts, both singly, and sometimes together. Drooling men hovered around these succubus feet, looking up with glazed eyes filled with lust. Fantasing about what they would never have, delusions of their own sexual prowess stimulating them further as hands reaching greedily upwards, trying to touch what they could not afford.

Yuki snorted again. Pathetic fucking fools!, he thought. He had no interest in the scene before him. The writhing female forms meant nothing to him. He could appreciate a few of them for their pleasing feminine form, but that was it. He had never had to come to these sort of places to try and get his kicks, and he certainly had never had to pay for female company. He had always had more than enough of that if he had wanted to indulge himself, and he had, numerous times, in the past.

Until he met Shuichi.

He bit down so hard on his cigarette, it broke in his mouth. Damn it! He spat out the end, bringing up a hand to wipe his mouth. Damn it to hell! He swung around and grabbed his drink, downing the last of it all in one go and pushed the empty glass towards the girl behind the bar. He grabbed another cigarette and lit it.

Shuichi. He took a long drag on his smoke, as another drink was set before him. That kid had just turned up in his life so unexpectedly. Yuki hadn’t known anything about him. All he had felt was irritation, annoyance that his life had been disrupted.

He took another drink, feeling the warmth now beginning to reach his limbs. Not just disrupted, but completely and utterly turned upside down! That damn kid had swept into his life and suddenly Yuki hadn’t known what was going on anymore! How could someone so young, so small, cause such huge damn changes!

If you looked at Shuichi, there was nothing special about him. Okay, he was damn good looking, but nothing that special. Yuki had met plenty of ‘beautiful’ people, both men and women. Hell, people called Yuki ‘beautiful’! So, no, beauty wasn’t that special.

So the kid had talent? So what? So do other people. Shuichi had a talent for singing, Yuki had a talent for writing. Talent wasn’t everything, and it was quite often dependent upon the public. If the public didn’t like you any more, no matter how much talent you poured into your medium, you would be all washed up.

So beauty and talent were nothing. There was nothing special about either. So what had been special about Shuichi? How had he managed to squirm his way so deeply into Yuki’s life like he had?

Right from the start, Yuki didn’t understand why he had let the boy do that. He was an old hand at rebuffing unwanted attentions, getting rid of irritating annoyances in the form of hanger-on-ers, or obsessed fans. Having someone throw themselves at him was nothing knew to him. It never phased him. He could, and had, easily cut them down to size, leave them in a broken pile of shattered illusions, and do it without a thought. But Shuichi….

Shuichi had just kept turning up in his life. It was as though, after that initial meeting in the park, Fate conspired to keep bringing them together, pushing them towards each other.

When Shuichi had jumped out in front of his car that rainy night, he almost hadn’t stopped in time. Not because he had wanted to run the damn brat over, though it did cross his mind, but more it was the complete surprise of seeing him standing there, outlined in his head lights as he was speeding towards him. Thank gods, he had just had the car serviced and the brakes replaced! Yuki was pretty hard on cars usually.

So why didn’t he just leave Shuichi there in the rain that night? He had stopped, he hadn’t hit the kid, so why had he felt compelled to take him back to his home? That was unlike him, even back then. And things just kept rolling from there.

Why had he been the one to kiss Shuichi first? Even after telling the kid that he wasn’t interested, that he wasn’t even gay so why would he be attracted to another guy. Why had he done that?

Because he hadn’t been able to help himself. That look in Shuichi’s eyes, a look that Yuki didn’t even know what it meant, drove him to do it. And from that point on, there was going to be no turning back.

Yuki had rebelled against that feeling of Fate. He wasn’t going to have his life dictated by some abstract principle of how the world should be. He had fought long and hard against that pull. He had fought, until he could fight no longer. And in succumbing, he had found a life that he had never thought he would ever possess.

Another drink was placed beside his hand, the empty one whisked from sight. His fingers clasped around it, bringing it to his mouth.

Damn him! Damn them both!

Why didn’t Shuichi remember him?! How could he not, for gods sakes?! The kid had pursued him with such single minded determination before! No matter what anyone had said or done, he had been determine to be with Yuki. How could all that be gone?!

This time as he slammed his drink down it toppled over, spilling the alcohol onto the top, ice cubes swirling in the puddle. Yuki watched them spin, teeth clenched.

It wasn’t gone! There was no way it was gone! Shuichi would never be able to just turn his back on all that! It was all still there, somewhere, buried inside him. Yuki was going to get it out!

A cloth swept into view and cleared the damage away, and another glass was placed before him. Yuki reached for it. He knew he was drunk. Copious amounts of pure alcohol poured into a body weakened by lack of food and sleep, made for a quick route to inebriation. Yuki knew that he would suffer for it the next morning. This morning. Especially as alcohol would only aggravate his already renewed ulcer. No, morning was not going to be a pleasant time, but Yuki didn’t care. He just wanted to get drunk now.

A heavy hand fell on his shoulder, bringing him out of his thoughts. Turning his head, he glared at the man standing behind him, young, tall and good looking.

“How are you doing?” the man said in a slightly slurred voice, indicating his own drunken state.

“Piss off.” Yuki snarled, turning back to his drink. He began to lift his glass to his lips when another hand wrapped around his, halting the motion.

“Ah, come on, gorgeous.” The man lent in closer to Yuki so his cheek was almost brushing against Yuki’s face, his chest pressed up against Yuki’s back.

“I said, fuck off! I’m not interested!”

“Sure you are. You wouldn’t be this cute and come here if you weren’t. So don’t play coy. I’ve been watching you since you came in. If anyone needed to get laid, it’s you.”

The man leant closer again, his other arm sliding around Yuki’s waist. “I could make you feel real good.” the soft voice whispered in his ear, warm breath caressing the skin. “I’ll even give you a discount price since you’re so beautiful.”

It had been a long time, Yuki thought. A long time since he had felt a warm body close to his, the touch of bare skin rubbing against his. It had been a long time since he had felt hands touching him, tracing the outline of his muscles, ghosting across his skin so the hairs rose in goosebumps.

He closed his eyes. It had been a long time since he had felt warm lips pressed against his, tongue trailing down his neck, nipping at his ear.

The warmth in his belly began to bank. It had been so long since he had felt another’s body lying over his, hands touching everywhere, stroking him, making his body break out in sweat from their touch.

It had been a long time since he had pushed inside the warm depths of another, felt that tightness, felt the pounding of blood thundering through his veins as he drove himself higher…..faster……harder, towards climax.

It had been a long time…..since he had been with Shuichi.

He let go of the glass in his grip, ignoring it as it fell to bounce on the bar, and jabbed backwards with his other elbow, sending the man behind staggering away.

Angrily, he spun around on his stool, getting to his feet, glaring at the man who had been touching him so familiarly. His eyes glittered with rage. How dare this ….thing…think they could replace Shuichi!

He drew back his fist and let fly. He didn’t really feel the impact. He did see the spray of blood as his fist connected with a nose. The man’s head snapped back and he dropped with a cry.

Yuki was breathing heavily, his stomach churning with rage. He turned away and began to stalk towards the door, ignoring the bouncers that had appeared to control the situation. They gave him a wide berth as he departed.

Yuki squinted as he mounted the stairs to the street. He held a hand across his eyes to shut out the worst of the light. It was daylight now, the night had faded away. Yuki was beginning to feel sick, his hand beginning to throb. He glanced down at it, the knuckles showing signs of swelling. He snorted and turned to stagger towards his hotel. He desperately needed a shower. Probably after he had thrown his guts up.

Damn Shuichi!