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Decadent Habits	By : OverMaster Category: +M to R > Mahou Sensei Negima/Magister Negi Magi Views: 8829 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Negima. No profit at all is made out of this story.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Once more, Darkenning wrote this.

Standard issue disclaimer: Akamatsu Ken created and owns Negima. I am not him. This is a parody, protected speech. Thanks to my cowriters and the reviewers.

Decadent Habits now has a page at TV Tropes! Go there! Ruin your life!

Now for some wacky highjinx!

Decadent Habits

Chapter 19: Madoka

"Okay, this is going to be easy," Madoka calmly asserted. "We're probably just going to kiss, that's all. Some kissing, and a few gentle caresses, and maybe things will go a little further. Or not. Probably we won't even take our clothes off. Or maybe just with bras and panties on. Or, y'know, nudity, could happen. I mean it's not like either of us has anything the other has never seen. No big deal. I'm cool with it, however it turns out. The point is, there's no pressure, and we're gonna have a good time."

"Yeah, I'm really looking forward to watching you do it with Ako," Sakurako agreed from where she was sitting on the edge of the bed watching Madoka talk to the ceilling.

"You're not going to watch!" Madoka snapped, sitting bolt upright. "I gave you both a week's worth of meal tickets to go to Tomobiki Marchenland instead of hanging around here all day, so you're going to go!"

"Awww," Sakurako pouted. "And after I've been cheering you on from the sidelines all this while, too."

"It's not that I'm not grateful," Madoka bit out. "I just want a little bit of privacy for this. I think that's reasonable."

"Well, yeah, I guess that's reasonable. But I've just been hoping that you were finally going to make a move, and I'm happy that you've finally gotten up the courage to admit what we all knew."

Madoka felt her eyebrows twitching. "You all knew," she repeated. "And what, exactly, did you all know?"

"That you like Ako-chan, silly," Sakurako replied.

"Yes, exactly. I like Ako-chan. And it has nothing to do with either of us being a girl. If she were a guy, I would like her just the same."

"Right," Sakurako agreed, smiling and nodding. Inside she was having hysterics at the idea of Ako as a boy. Frankly, the sort of boy who was anything like Ako wouldn't do a thing for her. "And the same if you were a guy and she was a girl."

"Which is easier to imagine," Misa noted as she went over her makeup one more time, and dodged the thrown pillow.

"Shut up, will you?" Madoka shouted. "Quit it with the tomboy remarks! You've probably been with more women than I have!"

"Since you still haven't sealed the deal with Ako-chan, and I've had four three-parts total, there's no probably about it," Misa said, arising from her chair in front of the mirror and picking up her shoulder bag. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I am off to Tomobiki Marchenland, because I am a good girl who honors her commitments even with people who throw pillows at me, and also because I made a date with a guy who is going to give me many more presents. I gave you the dental dam, right?" she asked Madoka.

"Yes, you gave me the dental dam," her room-mate growled.

"Good!" She made a series of complicated hand gestures. "Orum's blessing be on your union, even though you can't have children and so don't really need it. See you later." She walked out of the dorm room, humming cheerfully.

"God, I can't wait for high school," Madoka said, collapsing onto her back. "We'll finally be in different classes, probably, and maybe even different dorm rooms. It's gonna be heaven."

Sakurako blinked. "That doesn't seem too heavenly to me," she said, clearly sounding hurt.

"Oh, come on, you know what I mean," Madoka sighed. "We go to class together, we go to practice together, we live together, we spend most of our weekends together. You guys are the last things I see before I go to sleep at night, and the first things I see every morning. A change will do us all good."

Sakurako blinked some more, clearly not getting it.

"Shouldn't you get going too?" Madoka said.

"Well, you see, I gave it a lot of thought, and, to support your love, I've decided not to go to Tomobiki Marchenland. I'm going to hang around campus, instead."

Madoka slowly sat up. "You can support my love anywhere. Why do you want to hang around?"

"No reason," Sakurako said innocently, eyes glancing briefly at the room's window.

Madoka noticed the glance, looked at the window, and for the first time truly noticed the tree growing just outside it, with its nice strong limbs. She frowned. "I'm closing the blinds," she bit out.

"Aw come on!" Sakurako protested.

"What the hell, Saku!" Madoka shouted.

"I, I just want ... you seem happy, really, and, well, I want to see you happy. I figure that being with Ako is going to make you really happy, and I like seeing you happy." Sakurako looked down. "I'd like to make you happy, but all I do lately is piss you off," she added, flushing.

"Oh, geez. Sakurako, c'mere."

She emphasized the words with a gentle beckoning gesture, and the girl with the bleached hair slowly got up and came over to sit beside her. Madoka hugged her tightly. Startled, Sakurako just sat there for a moment before reaching up to embrace her friend back.

"You make me happy," Madoka said. "Yes, you piss me off, sometimes. Yes, I'd like a change from being with you twenty-four seven. But I do like you, and I never ever want to not see you again. Okay?"

Sakurako apparently gave the words some thought, and then asked, quietly, "Can I kiss you?"

Madoka sighed. "Yes, you can kiss me, it's just a friendly way of showing -"

Then Sakurako kissed her and so she couldn't say anything for a while. Sakurako was a really good kisser, apparently.. And eventually she felt clothing being removed, and part of her mind said, Wait, hold it, we're forgetting something.

Eh, it's probably not that important.

"So out of academic curiousity, what's it like? Sex with our adorable little teacher, I mean?"

Asuna stared at Mana as they crouched in the forest at the rendezvous point they'd set up earlier. Negi and Rakan were a little distance away, discussing what they both knew about vampires, their strengths and weaknesses. Well, from the sound of it, Rakan was actually telling moderately ero stories about vampires, enjoying the freedom of being able to talk about stuff like that with a less innocent Negi.

"How ... no, I don't really want to know how you knew, do I?" she asked.

"It'd probably disturb you," Mana agreed.

"It's great. It's wonderful. No one I've ever been with has made me feel like he does," Asuna admitted. "I think I honestly love him. Maybe that's why ... and why even the fact that I know I should be grossed out doing stuff with my brother, it doesn't bother me. I'm ... still a little shaky about the idea of doing stuff with my mother, but ... you knew about that part of all this, right?" she asked abruptly.

"I've known you were the Twilight Princess since about the first time I set eyes on you," Mana admitted. "So, yeah. I know."

"And, you know, the incest doesn't -"

"Asuna, I had 108 half-sisters, most of whom didn't like men and none of whom had any interest in what most people think of as moral behavior, and they'd all achieved sexual maturity by the time they were six human years old and thought I was the same way. Guess what my home life was like?"

Asuna gagged. "Oh. Oh, Mana-san, that's, that's ... didn't your mother do anything?"

"She died when I was four, my oldest sister took her place as Queen, and two years later ... eh, stop it, Kagarazuka, it wasn't as bad as it sounds," Mana said with a shrug. "I just got sick of it after a while, so I ran away from home when I was eight and ended up here on Earth, in Roanpur. Maybe I'll tell you about all of that some day. But anyway, I guess you could say that nothing your mother does sounds so terrible by comparison. Besides, she's probably just following the mysteries of Aphrodite and Eros."

Shaking her head to clear it of the rather gruesome images, Asuna tried to remember what she'd learned about Greek mythology. "I don't know what that means," she admitted.

"Well, the people who formed Ostia were from the Roman Empire, and they brought the Greek and Roman myths with them. Also some early Christianity, but that's not important right now. Anyway, when the ancients wanted to have a personal communion with the divine, they turned to mystery cults who taught their adherents deep, personal secrets that weren't really all that impressive but were steeped in so much ritual that ... well, that's not important right now, either," Mana digressed, seeing Asuna starting to boggle.

"Anyway, the mysteries of Aphrodite and Eros, the parts of it that are known even to unbelievers like me, tell this story. In the beginning, Zeus, Almighty Power, arose, threw down his father and claimed his mother, Rhea, Bounty, as a concubine, and his sister, Hera, Family, as a wife. From his wife were born Hephaestus, Craft, and Ares, War, but from his concubine were born Athena, Wisdom, and Aphrodite, Love. And Love's truth is all that matters."

Asuna blinked, recognizing that expression.

"Aphrodite went unto Zeus her father and brother, and they became one, and from their union was born Eros, Passion. And Aphrodite went unto Eros her son and brother, and they became one, and yet nothing was born of their union. And so Eros sought another bride, and found her in Psyche, the Soul, and brought her unto his mother. And after some time and testing of their bond, she sanctified their union. And from their union were born all true lovers. And Love's truth is all that matters." Mana ended the recital, and shrugged. "It's a pretty screwy myth. I can see why it didn't survive here on Earth."

Asuna nodded, not really hearing. The recital had brought back some vague memories of her lessons. "What about the other gods, like Apollo, and ... the others?"

Mana shook her head. "They don't come into this story. Most mystery cult myths are pretty tightly focused."

Meanwhile, Negi was growing a little frustrated. "So they don't have any real weaknesses?"

"Hey, you've been palling around with the scary little girl for a while now. Have you seen any weaknesses?" Rakan laughed. "Didn't think so. Well, mmm, there's one thing I heard about but never had the chance to check when I was fighting Shinso. Supposedly, there's this spot on their neck that's really sensitive, and if you strike it, they'll have to bite down on whatever's in front of them. Problem being, it's so small that the only way to hit it is by getting in really close, close enough that what they're gonna bite down on is you. If you can take that, they're basically helpless while they're feeding on you. Of course, most people can't take that, and so most people who try that just end up as half-vampire slaves."

Negi blinked. "I'm an idiot," he announced. Speaking up, he cried out, "Asuna, I'm an idiot."

"I've often thought so," Asuna agreed, standing up and running over to him. "What? What's wrong?"

"I know what Master's planning," he said, fumbling with his pactio cards. "I know how to stop it, too. But we have to hurry!" He pulled out Konoka's card. "Konoka-san!" he called out.

No response.

"She must not have the card with her right now," Negi groaned. "We've got to find her, but -"

"Might this one be of assistance?" Kaede asked gently from where she was standing behind him.

"Gyah!" said Negi and Asuna in stereo.

"Hey, you snuck up on me!" Rakan said, intrigued. "Cool! How'd you do that?"

"Nin-nin," Kaede hummed.

"You didn't sneak up on me," Mana said irritably. "I was aware of your presence for quite some time before you declared yourself."

Kaede's grin took on just a bit of an edge as she looked at her rival. "You may believe so if you wish, Mana," she said, omitting the usual -dono. Her stance slowly shifted to one of readiness for battle. Mana, of course, was already there.

"Not now, please," Negi begged. "Kaede-san, can you please go and find Konoka-san and bring her here? And Setsuna-san, too, please, if they're together. It's very important!"

"One hopes for their sake that they are," Kaede agreed. "Very well, since there's no one near whom you could possibly entrust with such a crucial task and hope to have it succeed, this unworthy one will make the attempt." She bounded off into the trees.

"I'm going to shoot her one of these days," Mana said darkly.

"Oh, so that's your type," Rakan guessed. "I was wondering, y'know, and -"

"She is not my girlfriend!"

"... didn't say that she was, actually. Kinda telling, don't you think?"

How did this happen? Okay, no, I know how this happened, but ... aw, jeez. No, no, don't panic, Madoka. Saku's a sweet girl. She'll understand why this was just one of those things, and why you want to be faithful to the girl you just cheated on and have never actually done anything with.

Madoka pulled on her shirt and pretended that made sense. She picked up her phone and dialed Ako's number. "Hey, Ako?" she said softly. "Yeah. Listen, there's a problem. Saku's come down with something, and she's on enforced bed rest. Yeah, we can't. But, listen, maybe we should take it one step at a time, have a date first, and then ... Chao Bao Zi? Well, sure. Yeah. See you there in about an hour."

She got up, pulled her jeans up from where they were around her ankles, picked up her wallet and headed out the door, with one last regretful look at where Sakurako was gently sleeping with a goofy grin on her face. Then she went out the door.

Sakurako's eye slid open and her goofy grin vanished. "Sick, am I?" she said irritably. She snatched up her own phone. "I'll show you sick. Okay, that didn't make any sense, but whatever." She considered who she should call - Makie, Yuna or Akira. One of them was bound to have a crush on Ako, whether realized or unrealized, so it was just a matter of picking that one out.

1 in 3 chance of getting it right. Piece of cake!

She dialed Akira. "Hey, Akira? It's Sakurako. Listen, I just met Ako, coming from soccer practice this morning ... yeah, she forgot her cell phone, and so she couldn't tell you that she wanted to meet you at Chao Bao Zi. Is it a date?" She blinked. "It is? Wow, cool. No, I, I'm happy for you. Anyway, enjoy your date."

She hung up, and stared at the phone for a moment.

"Wow," she said. "Is this shame? I don't like it." She got up and started getting dressed in a hurry. With a little luck, she'd be able to fix this. Good thing she had a lot of luck.

Akira was a simple girl, and her passion was swimming. Neither of these characteristics was conducive to being all that familiar with the application of make-up, so she was pretty hesitant about it. She didn't want give the impression to Ako that she didn't care about looking good for her, but she also didn't want to look like ... well, her only referent for what she didn't want to look like was Misa, really, but if she was being totally honest, that's what she did want to look like.

Eventually, she was satisfied, looking neither like a readily available tart nor like someone who didn't care how they looked. She pulled on her best pair of pants, the bustier that showed off more of her cleavage than she was really comfortable with, and a jacket to cover her shoulders, and set out.

As Akira headed briskly out the door, she was startled to see Yuna coming up the walk to the dorm. The other girl blinked in surprise. "Akira-chan? What are you doing here? And why did you leave -"

"W-What? This is my home too!" Akira interrupted her, nervous all of a sudden. "What are you doing here? You were supposed to be in Amsterdam with your dad!"

"Amsterdam?" The girl blinked. "Where did you get that -"

Akira looked at her wristwatch and gasped. She'd spent far more time doing her make-up than she'd realized! "L-Look, we'll talk later, okay, Yuna? I'm in a hurry, sorry! Oh, Ako will be so hurt if I'm late for our first date!" she added, sotto voce, as she swept past the confused looking gunslinger.

She could be pretty fast when she wanted to be. This was true whether the medium was water or land and air. And so, she arrived very shortly at the Chao Bao Zi, to see Ako sitting, smiling and chatting with Madoka. What a relief! She hadn't been lonely while waiting, she'd had a good friend like Madoka with her.

Wasting no more time, Akira walked up to the table where the two of them were sitting, and set herself down beside Ako. "Hi," she said, trying to wring every last drop of apology out of her tone. "I am so sorry, I didn't realize how long it would take to get ... well, never mind, I'm here now."

"Akira?" Ako asked, eyes wide.

"Hey, Akira," Madoka said, blinking. "What's happening?"

"Thank you, Madoka, you're a good friend to Ako," Akira replied. "I hope we haven't kept you from anything important while waiting for the start of our -"

"TAAA-DAAA!" proclaimed Sakurako, completely drowning out Akira's next word as she bounced up out of nowhere to sit beside Madoka. "Full recovery complete! How're you all doing? I hope my good health continues!"

"Saku?" asked Ako, eyes still wide. "But Madoka said you were on enforced bedrest."

"Eh? Why would you say that? She sounded fine when she called me a little while ago," Akira said, blinking.

"When she did what now?" asked Madoka quietly. Very quietly.

"Oh, Ako-chan, you shouldn't worry so much about things that Madoka says," Sakurako reassured her with a laugh that was not really very reassuring. "She says crazy things sometimes. Why I bet any second now, she's going to say something -"

"I'm going to kill you," Madoka bit out, eyes blazing with fury.

"See what I mean?" Sakurako spread her hands in the universal gesture for 'what am I supposed to with my crazy friends.'

Satsuki walked past, her usual look of serene contentment lacking something as she brusquely reminded everyone about the Chao Bao Zi's zero tolerance policy on fights.

Sakurako sat there with her look of blissful barely concealed panic. Madoka sat there with her look of ill-hidden fury. Akira sat there with her look of completely obvious confusion.

And true to form, five seconds into this awkward silence, the pressure became completely unbearable. "AAAAGH!" Ako cried, standing bolt upright. "I can't take it! I'm a wicked, wicked, wicked, wicked woman!" She ran off, sobbing horribly.

"Ako!" Madoka and Akira chorused, getting to their feet.

"Hey, I've got a great idea!" said Sakurako. "Why not, instead of the two of you running off after her, you both sit here and ... discuss your common interests while I do it? Kthxbye!" And somehow, without getting up, she dashed off in pursuit of Ako before either of the other two could do anything.

After a moment, Madoka and Akira both sat down, with both of them now looking as confused as Akira had earlier. "Our ... common interests," said Akira. "Well ... do you like swimming?"

"No, I'd really rather lie on the beach and tan," Madoka replied, shaking her head. "I'm really sorry, Akira, I don't know what Sakurako was thinking, trying to drag you into ruining my date with Ako."

Akira blinked. "Your date with Ako," she repeated.

Madoka was blind to the subtext of that comment. "I suppose that it's really my fault, though. Maybe I should have ... oh, who knows what I should have done ..."

"I think we have another commmon interest," Akira said weakly.

Ayaka believed that she was in good shape. She maintained a careful regimen of exercise and diet, and practiced martial arts not merely as exercise, but as one who knew that one day she might have to fight for her life. But she was not in nearly good enough shape to carry a girl who weighed as much as she did on her back, and run at the pace that Arika was setting. However, since her only other option was to admit that she couldn't do it, she had no choice but to do it. So she did.

Chisame didn't even bother trying to keep up with those Arika and Ayaka. Maniacs, both of them. Okay, what with one thing and another, she was probably in the best shape of her life, but that wasn't really saying much. Physical exertion was not even close to being Chisame's thing. See, that proves that I'm nothing like crazy kung fu fighting wizard Nagi, she thought. What the hell had that loopy woman been talking about?

A moment later, they came to a clearing where Negi and Asuna (Of course, thought Chisame grimly) along with Konoka and Setsuna, as well as Kaede and Mana, on opposite sides of the clearing, and with them was also -

"What the hell are you doing here?" Chisame shouted at Rakan.

"Helping save your bacon, Glasses Girl! How's it going, you sweet little sexy thing?"

Chisame absently punched him, and he pretended to feel it.

"Oh, thank goodness, Iincho, Chisame-san, Chizuru-sa - Oh no!" Negi said as he saw the astronomer's injury.

"Good thinking, having Konoka-chan here to heal our injuries," Arika said, through gasps of effort from the running.

"Actually, I can't do anything about this, it's been too long," Konoka said sadly. "I can keep up the analgesic, though, while we take you to the hospital, Chizuru-san."

"That's better than I should expect," Chizuru said, smiling faintly. "Thank you, all of you."

"It's nothing, really," Negi replied. "Now."

Konoka turned and slapped a shinto-style ward to Chisame's forehead and spoke a single syllable of occult power.

In Evangeline's resort, mere subjective seconds after declaring her victory, Evangeline sensed her plan's defeat. "He did it," she said, more stunned than angry. "He actually outthought me. Well-done, boya."

"I still win."

"What. The hell. Was that," Chisame asked from behind the ward, her voice clipped and angry.

"I'm sorry, Chisame-san, but when Rakan-san reminded me of how a Shinso like Master can turn people whose blood she's sucked into half-vampire slaves, as she did to Makie-san and then the others. Did she suck your blood, Chisame-san?"

Behind the ward, Chisame was blushing. "You shouldn't be asking questions like that at your age!"

Negi found that answer utterly baffling, but pressed on. "I'll take that as a yes. So since tonight is a full moon night, she would have been able to turn you into a half-vampire, and use you to hurt people around you. If we'd followed our original plan and kept you surrounded, you would have been forced to hurt your friends." (Here Chisame let out a snort. Negi took this as a sign of her deep sorrow at the idea.) "Fortunately, Konoka-san knew an incantation which should break the link between you. We think," he added.

"You think?" Chisame asked.

"Hell, Hades and Acheron," Arika cursed. "Why didn't I think of this?"

"You don't know Master like I do, ma'am," Negi replied apologetically. "She's taught me how to think like she does." Now he sighed. "The problem is, we're no closer to being able to intercept Nodoka-san from using whatever hidden gate Master told her about. So she's succeeded in distracting us, if that was her aim. I just Chamo-kun can find it in time!"

"I repeat - you think?"

Elsewhere, Sakurako had finally caught up to Ako, who was seated on a park bench with her face in her hands. She looked utterly miserable, and Sakurako felt like a world class heel. She coughed loudly as she walked up to Ako. "Um, look, Ako-ch-"

"I'm sorry, Sakurako," Ako wailed. "I'm sure all of this is somehow my fault for being such a horrible, slutty person. I'm turning into Misa!"

With rare discernment, Sakurako realized that reassuring Ako that this was not the case, that she was nowhere nearly that hot, would not help matters. "Okay, but, is that really so bad?" she asked instead.

"Is that so bad?" Ako repeated, lifting her head for the first time to reveal bloodshot eyes. "I'm leading on Tosaka-san, I have a crush on Negi-sensei, and I'm two-timing Akira and Madoka. I'm terrible!"

"Okay, first of all, that first one that you mentioned - Ako, you're fifteen years old! You're way too young to be thinking about marriage and stuff like that! Embrace your youth! And as for the third part, well, y'know, Madoka's two-timing you. I should know, I'm the other time." She nodded sadly. "Yeah. And with Negi-sensei, well, that's just human, you know? I mean, I'd love to marry Negi-sensei, and become his princess, and take Madoka as a lover-slash-bodyguard, and appoint Misa as Minister of Hoochiness, and maybe have a harem of ..." Sakurako trailed off as she considered all of this.

At that moment, an ermine, carrying two small suitcases in either paw, wearing a hat and smoking a cigarette, ran past them. He paused long enough to tip his hat, and then was gone.

"What do you mean, you're the other time?" Ako asked, focusing on the more immediate question before her.

"Oh," said Sakurako. "Well, I was kinda turned on at the thought of you two getting it on, so I got her to do it with me, and then she was trying to sneak out on me, and I got jealous, and so ... well, anyway, I did some bad things. I'm really sorry." There, that should make it all better.

"Oh, god, I'm not only a slut, I'm a contagious slut!" Ako sobbed, dropping her head again.

"Hey, stop that! You're making this more than it is! It's just sex! It's not such a big deal! You're making it out to be the be-all, end-all of human existence, and it's not." She dropped down onto the bench beside Ako, grabbed hold of her shoulders and pulled her up out of her fetal position. "It's not supposed to make you feel like this! It's supposed to make you feel good! It's supposed to be fun, Ako!"

She held Ako while the other girl's tears ran their course, and just a little while longer.

"So you and Ako -" said Madoka.

"Yes. Since a few days ago," Akira replied heavily.

"Damn. I ... thought she was talking about me, but I guess it was you."

"Or not," Akira said, getting up. "She chose to come here, to you. I ... think I'll respect that choice. Please make her happy, Madoka."

Madoka stared at her as she prepared to go. "Oh, for f-"

Satsuki was standing behind her, quietly reminding her not to use bad language.

"Akira, come on! 'I want my beloved to be happy'? Do you really want to live that particular cliche? Give me a break!" She stood up. "If you've got to live a love triangle cliche, live one of the cool ones, please! Don't say, 'make her happy', say, 'I won't lose to you!'"

"But -"

"She's worth fighting for, isn't she?" Madoka yelled.

And then Akira's brows came together, and her hands clenched into fists, and with a voice as big as the sea, she proclaimed, "I will never lose her to you!"

Madoka stared, more than a bit cowed, and murmured, "Damn."

Satsuki coughed, and with a gesture that required no words, pointed them towards the exit.

They were passionately kissing as they stumbled through the door, and clothes dropped from their bodies as they made their way to the bed. There was a squeak of terror when they discovered that it was already occupied ... by the other two.

"Small world, huh?" said one voice.

Things became somewhat confusing thereafter.

With a weary smile on her face, and her hair in slight disarray, Akira wandered back up the stairs in her dorm, quite a bit later. That had not been what she had been expecting, but it hadn't been bad. Definitely not an innocent anymore, though. Ah well. Maybe she should talk about that with -

And then she was in her bedroom, dressed in just her bra and panties, and wondering how she'd gotten there. She must be a lot more tired than she realized. She considered talking to Yuna, but then remembered that her roommate was still in Amsterdam with her dad. (Why had she thought otherwise? Must be really tired.) And with a sigh, she climbed into bed and went right to sleep.

Every dream was about Yuna, for some reason.

NEXT: Zazie.
- 18
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Decadent Habits