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仁義	By : Kimmimaru Category: Gravitation > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1234 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, the characters or settings and of course i make no money from writing this.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Authors note: Oooh! The drama! I can't cope! Lol, hope everyone's still enjoying this because it's so much fun to write! Please be so kind as to leave a review? Would be really appreciated! Thanks.

Chapter 19: Ginen(Suspicions)

It was his first day back to work since his kidnapping and he was walking down the corridor.

"Shuichi?"

Shuichi turned to the sound of his name, he saw Ryuichi leaning against the wall, he had dark glasses over his eyes and a crimson bandana keeping the worst of his hair off his face. His leather jacket hung from both shoulders with the kind of casual elegance Shuichi would never master, his jeans were almost too tight and he wore plain black converse on his feet. He pushed himself away from the wall and stepped closer before lowering his glasses. "Good Morning, Sakuma-san." Shuichi said.

Ryuichi didn't reply, instead he looked him up and down, a tiny frown on his face. He was obviously in serious mode. "Shuichi, come with me." He grabbed the younger man's hand and dragged him off down the corridor.

Yuki stepped out of the lift and suddenly saw two people walk very quickly past him. His eyes landed on Shuichi and he saw that his hand was in Ryuichi's. Stone filled his heart and he gritted his teeth, it was getting harder and harder to control the rage he felt every time he thought of the two together. He pushed it all roughly aside and began making his way up to Tohma's office, he had a meeting with him.

Shuichi had no choice but to follow the older singer, he was dragged through corridors until they found an empty studio. Ryuichi pulled Shuichi into the room and shut the door before turning to him and removing his sunglasses. "I wanted to talk to you..." he said softly.

Shuichi felt trapped. He tried not show his nerves but was failing miserably, what did his Idol want with him? Why were they trapped in this small room? "Uh..." He began but Ryuichi cut him off with a smile.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Shu-chan." He moved away from the door and threw himself down into a seat. "I've been keeping an eye on you recently and...well, I know how you feel." He looked up at Shuichi through the strands of hair that fell elegantly into his eyes.

Shuichi felt dull anger at that, who was he to even try and understand how he was feeling? "You don't!" he snapped suddenly, his purple eyes darkening with his anger. "How can you...or anyone know how I feel?"

Ryuichi looked away. "You feel as if you're filthy...but water doesn't wash it away. You feel worthless, like no one cares...and you wake up every night covered in cold sweat. You despise the touch of others, because it makes you remember their harsh hands, the rough voices and it makes you so ill you throw up. Thinking about it hurts too much, so you push it to the back of your mind, you try and act normally but it never goes away, no matter how hard you try you can never forget that feeling of helplessness...the feeling of being so weak and useless. It eats at you. Night and day, you can't really get rid of it all, and no one can ever truly understand because they don't know what it feels like to be pinned down, made helpless as they violate you and rip away every inch of dignity you once had. You can't find a way of justifying it, or a way of coping...it's driving you insane because you're too afraid to go to sleep at night even though you crawl into bed with your friend and they hold you gently, you still wake up with the memories of their rough hands." Slowly those blue eyes met purple and a sudden understanding reached between them, Ryuichi nodded. "I understand what you're feeling better than anyone else." He whispered.

Shuichi couldn't respond. He suddenly fell to his knees and covered his face in his hands and began crying. "I-I...don't know what to do!" He gasped through his tears. "I-It hurts...so bad."

Ryuichi slipped from his seat so he knelt before Shuichi, he surrounded him in his arms. "I know." He said softly.

"W-What am I...s-supposed to do? H-How can I make it...go away?"

The brunet took Shuichi's hands in his own and drew them away from his face, he released them and cupped his chin in his palm. "You wanna know what I did?" he asked, his blue eyes dark and almost frightening in their intensity. Suddenly Shuichi understood the meaning behind the words; 'Touched by God'. Those words that had been muttered about Ryuichi, words that at first meant little, until he sang. Slowly he nodded. "I learnt to protect myself...I learnt to kill. The next person to touch me, unless I wanted it, would die. I swore to myself that I'd never again let their impure hands defile my body, because I had promised myself to another! I never allowed it to happen again..." Ryuichi paused and brushed hair from Shuichi's eyes. "It came with a price...but I could pay that. It was simple...It becomes so easy to channel that anger and learn to control it. Shuichi, I can teach you."

Shuichi's eyes widened, then, as he considered the proposal a thoughtful frown came into his face. "What price would I have to pay?" He asked slowly.

Ryuichi laughed and released him. "Nothing much." He said with a smile. "Well, nothing that you wouldn't be willing to give..."

"Like?"

"I want you to sing for me!" Ryuichi grinned slightly childishly.

"R-really? That's it?"

"Yeah, why? What did you think I was going to ask you to pay with?"

Shuichi looked away, a small blush on his cheeks. "I uh...doesn't matter."

"Oh! You thought I wanted...no! I'd never ask for that!" Ryuichi shook his head emphatically. "I'm not a monster...to people I like anyway."

Shuichi suddenly looked up at him and a small smile crossed his face. "Then...can you teach me? I want to learn to defend myself! I want to stop it from ever happening again!"

Ryuichi's smile lit up the room. "Sure, just so long as you hold up your end of the bargain!" He chuckled happily. "I like Shuichi's voice...It's shiny."

"But...won't you get into trouble?" Shuichi asked suddenly.

Ryuichi lifted his finger to his lips and smiled. "It'll have to be our little secret, ne?"

Tohma sighed heavily and looked over at Eiri, the author looked worse for wear, ever since he had refused to keep seeing Shuichi he had crashed rather badly. Although his work was getting more and more popular, because the stories had turned rather depressing, he was hardly even himself anymore. He had become something of a recluse, he hid from the press, refused to go to interviews or any kind of public event. He kept to his house and did little more than write, only ever tolerating Tohma's presence and that was only because Tohma forced his company on him. "Eiri..." The president began but the Author looked up, a deep fire smouldering in his eyes.

"Do you know what I saw when I was on my way up here?" he snapped suddenly. Tohma shook his head slightly, his eyes wide from shock. "I saw Shuichi...he was going into an empty room with Sakuma!"

Tohma felt his chest constrict. "What?" He managed after a moment. Shock held him frozen, Ryuichi was with...Shindou?

"Yeah, I saw them holding hands...that damned idiotic singer was dragging him into an empty room!" Yuki leaned back against the sofa and put a hand over his eyes. "I know...it's not my place to comment anymore...but I...I can't help myself." His mind was filled with images of the two of them together, every time he thought about Ryuichi's hands on Shuichi's body he felt jealousy consume him...it was getting harder and harder to control the urge to hunt the man down and beat him into a bloody pulp.

Tohma said nothing, his eyes were focussed on the distance and he wasn't really listening to Eiri. "It...can't be..." he whispered.

"Well, it is." Eiri sat up properly and looked at the President who had a distracted frown on his face, his hair was in disarray as it fell messily into his eyes and he wore an unbuttoned and un-tucked shirt. It was very unlike him but he was having serious problems.

Finally Tohma's shoulders slumped, Eiri watched him with slightly widened eyes as the president crumbled. He leaned on his desk and shoved fingers into his hair, he took a breath and closed his eyes. "Eiri-san...I'm sorry." He whispered. "This...everything...it's all my fault! If I could repent...I would."

"Doesn't matter anymore...what's done is done and...we can't change the past."

Shuichi walked back to Hiro's in silence, he was thinking about what Ryuichi would teach him and he wasn't really listening to Hiro talking. Suddenly his friend put his hand on his shoulder and halted him. He startled and looked up at the guitarist. "Huh?"

"Shuichi, what's wrong? You've been silent since we left."

Shuichi smiled. "It's nothing, Hiro. I promise."

Hiro ran fingers through his hair thoughtfully as he watched Shuichi walked a little way ahead of him, he frowned. He had heard that Ryuichi had been seen dragging Shuichi into an empty recording studio and it worried him that the two singers were doing things behind the presidents back, it would mean serious trouble if he was. Shuichi was obviously keeping secrets from them and if the press got hold of the fact that Shuichi was potentially seeing the lead singer of Nittle Grasper things would get heated, he had to make him tell him the truth!

Ryuichi sat in the lobby, Kumagoro sat on his head and he hummed to himself as he sat in one of the waiting room seats. He had sunglasses on and he was leaning back, tipping the seat back on two legs.

"Don't do that, Ryuichi, you'll break the seat."

"Tohma!" Ryuichi let the seat fall back to the floor with a bang. He smiled happily at his band mate, and Tohma sat down opposite him. "What's up?"

Tohma looked away for a second before returning his gaze to Ryuichi. "Is it true?" He asked softly.

Ryuichi cocked his head to the side. "Huh?"

"Is it true? What people are saying about you and Shindou-san?"

"What are people saying?" Ryuichi asked as he blinked in confusion at Tohma.

Tohma frowned. "There have been rumours, around NG, that you are...seeing Shindou-san." He said delicately.

"Of course I am!" Ryuichi said, his eyes wide as he leaned forward. "How could I not? We're working in the same building, silly Tohma!"

Tohma looked confused for a second before shaking his head. "I do not mean seeing him literally, Ryuichi. I mean, are you dating?"

Ryuichi frowned. "People are saying that?"

"Yes."

"Oh..."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

Tohma rubbed his eyes and sighed again. "Please stop playing games! I need a serious and honest answer!"

Ryuichi laughed softly and when Tohma looked up he saw Ryuichi's serious side surface. "People will do anything for the tiniest piece of gossip, wouldn't they, Tohma? You remember what they said about us?"

Tohma nodded. "So, it's just gossip?"

Ryuichi smiled deviously. "And what if it's not? What would you do, Tohma?"

The president narrowed his eyes slightly, trying to work out if the singer was having him on or speaking the truth. "I would be forced to put a stop to it, your reputation is my reputation, Ryuichi."

Ryuichi's smile was lazy as he stretched his arms above his head. "Ah, the wonderful social restrictions of Japan! How I missed it..." he muttered sarcastically. "In some states of America gay people can get married now, did you know that?" Tohma didn't answer, he just watched his friend warily, he was in a strange mood and when he got like this he could become very volatile. But he was also extremely attractive, his eyes heavily lidded as he spoke in a casual way and his fingers ran through his hair. Ryuichi smiled knowingly, he liked teasing Tohma like this, he knew the president would make him pay later and a shiver of excitement ran down his spine.

"Just answer the question." Tohma said slowly, his cold eyes scanning Ryuichi's body as he stretched and revealed a tantalising glimpse of his toned stomach.

"Shuichi and I are merely friends Tohma." Ryuichi said finally. "What made the rumours start I wonder?"

Tohma relaxed visibly. "Eiri saw you enter an unoccupied room earlier, he assumed you were...up to things."

Ryuichi's laugh was light. "Of course, in his paranoid brain it would be. It would almost be fun to watch him as I stole his toy right from under his nose...don't you think, Tohma?" He leaned forward across the table. "I could have him, you know..." he said slowly, his voice low. "It would be so very, very easy...He's already nearly mine...all I'd need to seal the deal would be to simply...take him."

"You wouldn't dare, Ryuichi." Tohma muttered.

The singer raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Now, that sounds like a challenge. It's almost as if you want me to..."

"If you did you would hurt Eiri, and no one hurts him!"

"Except you." Ryuichi replied. Tohma flinched slightly.

"That...that is beside the point! I never meant to hurt him...I...I was trying to protect him."

"From what, Tohma? Because it seems to me that you are trying to break him so badly he will be forced to rely on you for the rest of his life, it seems as if you have every intention of hurting him so badly he'll fall right into your bed!"

"Ryuichi...stop!" Tohma hissed.

"It's true." The singer smiled, but this time it was full of bitterness. "You think I'm stupid? No matter how much I love you, you'll always be watching him...wishing that it was his body you were holding rather than mine. I accepted that a long time ago. It's time you did as well."

"I want nothing but happiness for Eiri!" Tohma snapped, his fury rising rapidly.

"Then why do you say his name when you cum?" Ryuichi asked, his voice was devoid of emotion and his eyes remained firmly fixed on those of the president.

"I..." Tohma was stunned, he had no idea he even spoke when they had sex. "I-I...don't..." he said slowly.

Ryuichi sighed. "You do, but that doesn't matter. Nothing does." Finally he looked away. "I'm not having sex with Shuichi, Tohma. I promise you that, I don't want to hurt the kid." The singer stood and stuffed Kumagoro into his pocket, he smiled at Tohma before turning away. "I'm going home to sleep. Bye bye, Tohma."

Tohma stared into space for a while, lost in his own thoughts. He didn't have any memory of speaking Eiri's name while he was with Ryuichi, however he did sometimes think about the author in that way...who wouldn't? He shivered slightly and stood. He knew that Ryuichi was in a huge amount of pain, even if the man did hide it so well, he also knew that slightly flat look in his eyes meant that what Tohma had said had hurt him beyond anything the president had ever done before...and it was slowly killing him. "Shit! Ryuichi...I'm sorry...I knew I should have had you return to America! It...It was for your own good!" Tohma whispered as he walked back up to his office.
- 18
- 19
- 20
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仁義