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Fight Me, Bite Me	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 39446 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
A/N: To celebrate being the first Fairy Tail fanfic to hit 10,000 hits on AO3, I'm posting this early. Woohoo!
This may be disturbing, but it is consensual.

Chapter 19

Dark Roleplay and Finger Fetishes
Gray woke up to heat on his groin. It felt comforting, erotic. Then he realized he was still sick with gonorrhea, and heat like this could only come from one person.
"Natsu!" he cried out in a jolt of horror.
He looked down, and in the early morning light he saw the Dragon Slayer with his mouth down at his groin. However, the fear that Natsu might do something to make himself sick was alleviated when Gray realized they were both still wearing boxer shorts, and Natsu had kept the sheet over Gray's body. He was kissing Gray's morning erection through the sheet.
"What the…?"
Lustful green eyes turn up to him, and Gray shivered at their hungry gleam. They were eyes that threatened to devour him.
"Natsu … you … you shouldn't."
In reply, Natsu leaned over and lightly took the cloth-covered cock between his teeth, giving Gray a firm but not painful bite. "Mine," he declared possessively. Then Natsu exhaled into the sheet, and Gray felt moist heat dampen the cotton boxers.
"Oh … God, Natsu." Gray fisted up the sheet under him. It felt so … damn … good.
"Heh," Natsu chuckled softly. "You're sensitive in the morning."
"Of course I am."
Natsu happily kept mouthing kisses and nips up and down the tented sheet. "I like it," he murmured.
Gray leaned back, letting him have his fun. He recalled going to a restaurant and eating tacos last night, but the rest of the evening was a blur. "Did you really stay the night?"
"Yup," Natsu murmured through kisses. "You drank a bunch of iced margaritas until you stripped out of your clothes and began dancing on a table. The restaurant kicked us out. I got you dressed, but you passed out on the way home. I carried you back, and I decided to stay here. I miss your bed."
"But Happy…"
"Happy's pretty intuitive when it comes to relationships. He can probably figure it out. I'll make it up to him later. Right now, I want you." He took the head of the penis into his mouth, still shielded by boxers and a sheet.
"Oh God, Natsu," groaned Gray. His hips instinctively thrust toward that warmth. This was so dangerous … and so delicious!
Natsu smiled languidly while still stroking through the sheets. "Hey Gray, as soon as you're well, I wanna suck you off."
Although erotic, memories flashed through Gray's mind and clouded him with repulsive realization that the last time Natsu did that, Gray had put him in so much danger of getting sick.
Natsu raised up and straddled over Gray, leering down at him. "I knew it! You want to think that last time was somehow bad. I know you liked it, so why do you cringe every time my face even gets near your groin?"
"You know very well why!" Gray snapped quietly, looking aside since having Natsu on top of him like this was embarrassing and making him think lewd things. "I could have made you sick."
"Any one of our times together could have infected me."
"That was the only time I … that I … when … my cum … entered you," he said, feeling awkward.
"And I liked it."
Gray flinched and looked further away. "Natsu…"
The Dragon Slayer grabbed Gray's jaw and forcefully yanked his face back. "Listen up, bastard. I … liked … it. Sure, I could've gotten sick, but I didn't. That infection is on your skin; I could have caught it from the very beginning. I didn't! So stop hating yourself for something that didn't even happen."
Gray tried to push that hot body away, wanting to escape and wallow in his misery at putting Natsu in such a risky situation to begin with. Natsu grabbed Gray's arms and slammed them against the headboard. The aggressive and dominating move shocked Gray so much, he forgot about struggling. He gawked up at the Dragon Slayer.
"I think I know what I'm going to do to you when you're well," Natsu smirked. "Wanna hear my plan?"
Gray was still too stunned to say anything. He just stared at this man who had captured him and pinned him down.
"First of all, I'm going to borrow your handcuffs. This time, I'm cuffing you," Natsu smirked. He saw Gray's eyes get even larger. "Then I'll force you to fuck my throat. That's right! I'll rape you with my mouth." His eyes gleaming hungrily. "You'll be tied up, can't stop me, and I won't stop even if you use a safeword. Totally … helpless." His words went softer, darker, as his eyes narrowed fiercely. "Can't move. Can't stop the touches. I won't listen to your screams. I'll force that cum out of you," he growled.
In Natsu's words, Gray heard the faint hints of a strange accent, the same as last night. Was he repeating things once said to him? Had that man in the past really threatened a child like this?
He remembered Natsu said he thought he needed to roleplay the villain. Although utterly unexpected, the Dragon Slayer had apparently slipped into the role. Gray wanted to help Natsu, so he decided he would play along. He would be the victim, and Natsu would be the attacker. He would lie here in bed and be the helpless one. Maybe—hopefully—Natsu could work through a few of his issues if he put himself in the role of the man who hurt him so deeply.
"You'll come for me," Natsu sneered, reaching down and stroking Gray's shaft. "You won't be able to stop. Doesn't matter if you scream. I'll keep at it until you burst, until it all comes out, and I'll take every damn drop. You'll give me a lot, won't you … boy?"
Gray shuddered in horror. Words like this … these words were said to Natsu. Some sadistic, vile, wretched man had said these words to Natsu when he was barely old enough to even produce semen. It made Gray sick, and being the victim like this terrified him.
"N-no," Gray muttered.
He pictured himself as the child, a little boy locked away, far from any help, tied up, defenseless, with a sadistic molester dominating over him. His skin prickled as he suddenly felt lost and tiny, weak and degraded, just from the words and the touches.
"I'll milk you like a fucking cow. If you don't give it to me, I'll suck it out. One way or another, boy, you're gonna give me what I want."
Gray's heart raced. It might just be roleplay, but this was a scenario out of a nightmare.
"Will you be a good boy this time?" Natsu asked with a sadistic chuckle deep in his throat. "Will you come for me like I want? Maybe you need help. Is that it? Are my hands no good anymore? I have things that could help you."
Natsu rose off the bed, and Gray did not move. He was trapped in the fantasy, being the victim, being helpless. It was like he was Natsu, a childish Natsu, imprisoned and hearing these threats. This was what Natsu experienced in the past. Those were words he must have heard. The threats and disgusting words were spouted at him for days … weeks! He had endured mental and physical torture for so long, and being so young.
To Gray's surprise, Natsu walked to the chest of kinky goodies and returned with a masturbation sleeve, lube, and gloves. "What the…? Na-…"
"Shut up!" Natsu snapped before he could hear his own name and be pulled out of the fantasy. "Time to work you up again, boy."
"You said we'd wait," he shouted.
"Did I?" Natsu smirked cruelly. "I lied. Every day, boy. Every fucking day."
"Every … day?" he asked, confused until it dawned on him.
This scenario had not just happened once to Natsu. He had been subjected to it every day, and according to his earlier recount, sometimes the man did this a few times a day, taking as much semen as Natsu's tiny body could produce. Gray cringed, starting to fully comprehend the horror Natsu had lived through.
A low, vile chortle shook Natsu's chest as he pulled on the gloves. Gray had seen just last night how Natsu reacted to latex gloves. He must have fully immersed himself in this fantasy to overcome a fear like that. Gray felt his body shaking with vicarious terror, but he allowed Natsu to have this fantasy. Yesterday was a real regression in the steps Natsu had been making at getting better. Maybe he needed this to move forward again.
Still, knowing this scenario was what Natsu had actually experienced made Gray want to cry. Tears of pity gathered in his eyes. Natsu—his Natsu—had been violated just like this.
"Are you crying again, boy?" Natsu asked mockingly. "You know tears don't work on me. Scream if you want. Scream until your throat bleeds again. It didn't work last time, did it?"
Last time? Had Natsu done that, then? Had he screamed for help until he tore his throat up with his shrieks, desperate pleas that no one ever heard, only that sadistic man who probably just laughed at him? He must have screamed and cried for days. Did he ever just give in? Was there ever a point where Natsu broke and just let the man do what he wanted? How long could a child have lasted before breaking?
Sadly, Gray knew the other truth to this story. When at last Natsu broke, he did not give in. He had not surrendered to the man's touches. He went completely psychopathic and ripped the man's head off with his bare hands. Just how much did a person have to endure before they plummeted to that level?
Natsu had the gloves on and drizzled lube on the vagina-shaped opening of the sleeve's canister. At least he had some sense to protect himself with the gloves, otherwise Gray would have ended this scene right away, before Natsu could touch him and infect his skin. Natsu pulled Gray's boxers down. He wished he could say that this was erotic, but the truth was that Gray was limp, shocked and sickened by the knowledge that they were acting out the darkest moments of Natsu's childhood.
"Not even a little aroused this time, boy?"
How could he be aroused? How could he possibly get turned on when he felt like this?
He also now fully understood why Natsu could not stand to be called boy. Dear God, that was getting to be annoying, not to mention utterly degrading, constantly reminding him of his inferior status.
"That's fine. You get hard so quickly."
Natsu took Gray's limp member into the gloved hand and stroked it. The feel of that latex was weird against his skin, unnatural, synthetic. Gray cringed as he realized just why Natsu might come to hate the feel, especially associating it with something like this man.
"Here we go. You'll get hard for me again, won't you, boy? A cute, horny, semen-slave, that's what you are."
Cute? Slave? So that was why Natsu also hated to be called cute and refused to do slave/master roleplay.
Gray shuddered and tried to pull away. He could end this; he knew that. His hands were not even restrained, although he had not moved them from where Natsu had slammed them up against the headboard with such roughness. All he had to do was call out Natsu's name, and he would probably shatter this sick delusion.
However, this was what Natsu needed. He was trying to work through a labyrinth of disgusting perversions that, as a child, he could not even begin to comprehend. Maybe now that Natsu was an adult, working with someone he trusted explicitly, he might begin to heal. So although Gray potently felt the fantasy of being violated, and although the words Natsu hissed into his ear were highly disturbing, he did not do more than whimper and shake his hips to pull away from Natsu's touches. He would probably have nightmares about this later, but for now he wanted to help Natsu get out of being trapped in the past. He wanted to yank Natsu into the light of the present, so that maybe the Dragon Slayer could finally see the potential of that bright future Gray wanted, a future for the two of them, where they could be happy, love one another fully, and boldly declare that love.
For that to happen, first they had to work through Natsu's darkness. This was one way for him to get over the past: by reliving it in reverse roleplay. Gray gulped down sickness and struggled through the delusion of being a molested child, trapped for weeks, forced to endure so much. He looked at the dark delight in Natsu's face, and he began to wonder the same thing Natsu had said yesterday.
Was this worth it?
Their relationship, although wonderful and sensual, constantly brought up memories of the past for Natsu. He could hardly go ten minutes without flinching. Each of those flinches were flashbacks. That meant Natsu was constantly reliving this nightmare. He was hearing that man's voice in his head. He kept recalling those vile touches. Even in their most intimate and private moments, the ghost of that molester haunted Natsu's memories, ruining his happiness.
Was this worth it?
Was a relationship with Gray worth dredging up so much scum from the past? Was it better to just abstain from sex and hide from the horrors?
Gray began to wonder about this himself. Was it worth putting Natsu through such a hellish memory just to satisfy his own pleasure? He wanted to protect Natsu, to shield him from all sadness. Was sex maybe not a good thing for the Dragon Slayer?
"See, you wiggle away, but you're hard again. When you get like this, it means you actually like it. You're one horny boy, liking it so much, getting hard day after day."
Day after day … Natsu had been subjected to this humiliation again and again … until he broke. Until his grasp on sanity snapped. Until he changed from the Natsu that Gray loved so much, into some murderous insane child reveling in the blood of his foe.
"Are you ready? Of course you are. This hard cock of yours is your body's way of saying you're ready."
"No," Gray cringed. That was so, so wrong! To tell anyone that arousal meant they wanted sex was disgusting.
Natsu glared at him, but those eyes were not his. There was a cruel gleam to them. "You're gonna give me what I want, boy. Whether you want it or not, you're gonna give me your precious cum. Don't worry. This is my own personal toy, brought it just for you. I'm sharing my toys, see?"
"Sharing?" Gray cringed. Oh God, had that bastard used his own sex toys on Natsu? All the possible bacteria and…
And viruses…
No wonder Natsu felt dirty and hated sex toys. There was a very good chance he actually had contracted a sexually transmitted disease during this ordeal but was too insane to realize the medication he was on was for something else. Of course, no one would have explained it to him. Only Makarov and Gildarts would know the full truth.
Natsu twisted the end cap on the masturbation sleeve. As he slid Gray's penis in, the air seeped out the opened cap. Gray groaned softly as the realistic feel of a woman's vagina enshrouded him. His hips naturally wanted to thrust up into it, except … it was cold. Natsu was so warm inside. Real women were warm, too. Natsu had not bothered to warm up the toy, although he could have applied heat easily. Of course, that was only a trick of the Fire Dragon Slayer. Right now, Natsu was in the role of some sick bastard of his past who probably did not care about Natsu's comfort.
"Feels good, right?"
It honestly did. Gray had to look up at Natsu to reaffirm in his mind that this could be sexy, not traumatizing. This was Natsu, and he was about to get Gray off with a toy the ice wizard had used many times on his lonely nights.
Then Natsu twisted the cap shut again. Gray wondered why he did that. It was standard to loosen the cap. As the penis went in, the air had to escape somehow. However, he usually left the lid loosened—still on, so his semen did not go shooting out everywhere, but loose so the air flowed in and out. Why was Natsu tightening it again?
Then as Natsu pulled the masturbation sleeve back up, Gray realized there was a hell of a lot more suction. He did not even have to slide Gray all the way to the front again; just a little was intense. How the hell did he learn this technique?
An instant later, Gray wanted to vomit as he realized just how Natsu must have learned.
"You like this, don't you, my little semen slave? Feels good, eh? This is what a real woman feels like. Silky smooth inside, right? Give her what she wants, boy? Women want to pleasure us men. Let her pleasure you."
Gray tensed up. Although he realized this could be sexy in any other setting, for now it was too disturbing. He wanted the scene to be over with quickly, so he did not even bother trying to hold himself back. He panted as Natsu thrust the toy on him, rubbing up and down his shaft, and those smooth walls stroked him, suctioning him, drawing him closer to the edge. He wondered, would Natsu have held out from a sense of pride, or would he have given in quickly to get the ordeal over with that much sooner? How would Natsu handle this?
Stubbornly! He would not want to obey this man's orders at all.
"Come for me, boy."
He wouldn't follow that. He wouldn't want…
…to come. He would rather deny himself all pleasure than to surrender.
Gray jolted as he suddenly fully comprehended Natsu's penchant for orgasm denial.
Not coming was keeping in control. In a situation like this, the only thing Natsu could control was his own body's reactions. The only way he could fight … was by not coming.
So although Gray wanted the scene to end, he also held back. He felt he owed it to Natsu. He wanted to experience all the horrors his poor boyfriend had lived through. He wanted to understand Natsu more and more.
"Aren't you coming yet? I don't have all day, y'know. You want to pop, don't you? A disgusting little pimple, wanting to pop, needing the filth drained. I'm just going to pop you, boy. Just gonna get the cum out of you."
Gray recalled something Natsu once shouted, and he said the same words, feeling them sink into his soul. "Don't pop it."
"Then give it to me, you little semen slave. Give me your cum."
"Like hell I will," Gray sneered.
"Oh you will, boy. You'll have no choice."
Gray realized, he did have a choice. He could hold back. His lower stomach muscles steeled themselves. He forced his mind elsewhere. He would hold back as long as possible.
"You disgusting little pimple! Why won't you pop? Squeeze and squeeze, but you don't pop."
Suddenly, burning hot hands clutched Gray's throat and tightened. He gagged, stunned at the attack.
"What if I squeeze here, huh?" Natsu shouted angrily. "Will the pimple pop then? Did you know that cutting off your air can give you an erection? Or it'll kill you. If you don't do what I say, you're no use to me anyway."
The hands squeezed, crushing his windpipe. Gray really could not inhale. Natsu was going to choke him into unconsciousness.
He suddenly recalled early on in their relationship, Natsu crying out, 'You'll never choke me, right?' He remembered Natsu's story from the past, how not only had the abductors of his early childhood choked him, but the molester did as well. This was how he had suffered. This was why he had issues with touches to his neck when he was in his panic attacks. That man had tried to strangle Natsu to death, all on the hope that he would get one last shot of sperm.
Slowly, Gray realized he was not defenseless. He was not even tied up. As his face began to go numb, Gray slowly brought his hands away from the headboard.
"Do you like that, boy? Is it making you aroused yet? I'm gonna make you come, boy. One way or another, I'm gonna get what I want. I'll pop this pimple … or squeeze your fucking head off trying."
Black spots dotted Gray's vision, but he slammed both fists down onto Natsu's shoulders. The hands loosened, and air rushed back into Gray's lungs with a gasp.
"Red!" Gray bellowed, coughing and rubbing out his throat. "Holy shit, Natsu!"
At that name, those green eyes widened. The delusion shattered, and Natsu gazed upon Gray with the full horror of realizing what he had just done. "Gray!" he screamed, and flung his arms around the ice wizard. "Oh my God, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to…"
"I'm fine," Gray snapped, pushing him aside. He knew the roleplay was over, but it was hard to stop feeling a bit of hatred. "Don't touch me!"
He slammed his eyes shut as he realized Natsu had said those same words so many times. 'Don't touch me, you sick bastard!'
"My God, Natsu."
Gray suddenly grabbed the stunned Dragon Slayer and crushed him into a hug. He began to sob, stroking Natsu's pink hair, wishing he could take all those memories of horror out of his poor lover's mind and free him from the chains of the past.
"Did I hurt you that badly?" Natsu asked in dread.
"No. I'm fine. I … I can't believe you went through something like that. I knew that man had hurt you but … oh God, I didn't realize just how horrible it must have been." Gray shuddered as the sickness of the crime weighed down on him. "How could you have put up with that for so long?"
"I had no other choice," Natsu admitted quietly. "It was either that or kill myself … and I was tempted more than once to do just that."
Gray squeezed him even tighter, jolting with sobs. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Oh God, that was awful."
"I'm sorry, Gray," he muttered sadly.
"No! No, you needed this. We both did. I didn't understand you. Now, I think … I really understand a hell of a lot more about you after seeing it from your perspective." His eyes had been opened to the full horror of the truth, and now he would never see Natsu the same again. Still, he had gotten a glimpse of the truth that haunted Natsu. "Did he really do all that to you?"
Natsu could not meet his gaze. "Those were things he said … and did … at different times. But yeah, he said all of those things … and a lot worse."
Worse? Gray was not sure if he even wanted to imagine how much worse it could have been. "I'm surprised you're even able to let me touch you at all."
"I've had time to get over it," Natsu muttered. "And a lot of therapy," he added.
"I hope this helped," Gray said, removing the sleeve from his limp cock and setting it aside. He did not at all feel like having sex now, not after that sort of scare.
"I think it did," Natsu pouted. "Only, now I'm even more scared that I might attack you one day. That's why I need to be tied up. I'm afraid I won't pull out of a flashback and … and I'll kill you one day."
"But that one time at your house, in your shower…"
"I came so fast, I didn't have time to slip into the past. Otherwise, I need it. If you're going to take your time, I'll probably remember something, even if I don't want to, and … like you attacked me just now. I … I attacked him at the exact same point, only … I didn't just hit him away," he muttered, paling as he remembered what he actually had done. "He was choking me, so … I broke out of the ropes tying me down and … and I began to choke him back. He always had a knife to my throat—always—but when his hands were on my neck, he set the knife down. It was an opening, and I seized. I went for his throat. We wrestled. I squeezed, and I kept squeezing, and then … I wanted more. I wanted him dead, so I … I began pulling instead of squeezing. Pulling and pulling. I felt the bones pop in his neck. I watched the skin stretch, and then tear … until … until…" Natsu broke into tears. "I killed him. I ripped his head off. Just pulled it right off his body. The blood was … everywhere. And … and then I…" Natsu choked to muteness in thick, shaking sobs.
Gray pulled Natsu up against his chest. "Maybe this doesn't help, but if someone did all that to me, I'd want to kill him, too."
Natsu looked up with thick tears in his eyes. "Did you want to kill me?"
"I want to kill the man who did that to you. I wish you could have left him alive, so I could be the one to kill him. However, if he deserved to die at all, it was by your hands. You had every reason to want him dead."
"I still feel bad that I killed him."
"That's because you're a good guy deep down inside. You're a wizard of Fairy Tail, and Igneel raised you to protect others, not to go out on slaughtering sprees."
Natsu sniffed moistly. "Igneel told me to only hurt people who hurt my nakama. He'd be mad if he found out I did that."
"No, I honestly think he would have killed that man. You told me that when you were really young and got abducted, Igneel burned the bandits' hideout to the ground. He totally would have roasted that pervert."
Natsu let out a weak laugh. "Yeah, he burned up those bad guys really bad."
"Because they hurt the person he loved most: you. Igneel would have blasted his hottest flames on that damn bastard for torturing you. Hell, I'd freeze his blood solid if he was still around."
"Maybe it's a good thing he's not. I don't want you to be a killer like me."
"You were defending yourself," Gray argued.
Natsu glared up, anger and sadness in his eyes, and darkly whispered, "I did a lot worse than simply defend myself."
"He made you like that. He drove you insane. It's his fault."
"That's what my therapist used to tell me," he grumbled petulantly.
"Because it's true. Look, I don't blame you one bit for lashing out at that bastard." Gray stroked Natsu's hair. "I just want to bring you out of the shadow of that past."
Natsu cuddled wearily down into his chest. "I feel like I'm dragging you into my shadow."
"The best way to bring someone out of a dark cave is to climb down into the cave until you can reach their hand. I saw a glimpse just now of how dark your cave is. Maybe now I can pull you out."
Natsu clutched tightly to him. "You've been pulling me up by the hand since the beginning, idiot."
Gray smiled and stroked Natsu's neck. "I'll have to tie you up in order to haul your ass out."
"You like hauling my ass, don't you?" Natsu smirked playfully.
"I love anything to do with your ass," Gray teased back, reaching down and pinching Natsu's rump. "I also happen to love tying you up. Don't forget, that's my own little kink. I love restraining you, so if you need to feel secure by being immobilized, that's totally fine with me. I'll cuff you, tie you, ice you, anything you need, because I get aroused seeing you helpless and being in total control over you."
"Control freak!"
"Masochist!"
They laid together on the bed, holding one another, not saying anything more, not really looking at anything, just letting the moment slowly drift away. Gray let himself think about all Natsu had said and done. He thought about his own reactions, and he shivered to think Natsu experienced that. More than ever, he wanted to pull this Dragon Slayer out of his cave. Only then would he truly be able to see Natsu fly.
"Gray," Natsu mumbled. "Did I hurt you?"
"I might have some bruising on my neck, but it doesn't hurt at all." That was not totally true, but Gray knew the lingering pain of Natsu's choke-hold would be gone by morning.
"That's good. Did … did I scare you?"
Gray hesitated to answer, but he had to be honest this time. "It was scary knowing you went through that. I wasn't scared of you, but of imagining how you must have felt during that time. I felt how terrified a child must have been."
"Then were you imagining it, too?"
"I was trying to picture myself as you."
"Scary, huh?" Natsu asked.
"Yeah. Damn scary."
Gray ran his fingers across Natsu's neck. That man had tried to choke him, and that was what finally pushed Natsu over the edge of sanity. After weeks of utter humiliation, the fear of dying—and who knows what that disgusting man might do to a dead body—made Natsu snap. Gray propped himself up, leaned over, and kissed Natsu's neck. He planted a soft yet firm kiss onto the hot skin and gazed down in those narrow eyes.
"I'm going to protect you from now on. If anyone dares to hurt you like that, I'll be the one to kill them."
Natsu blinked in surprise. Then he looked aside while blushing. "Idiot. I'm a lot stronger now. I can protect myself."
Gray traced the flushed cheeks with his fingers. "I'll still protect you, because I care about you. I won't let you go through darkness again, or if you do, I'll be right there beside you. Between fire and ice, nobody stands a chance."
Natsu chuckled softly, and the worries in his face faded away. "If we could do a Unison Raid, can you imagine how awesome that would be?"
"We should totally try it."
"We should convince Erza and Lucy to go on a big mission so we can give it a shot."
"As soon as I'm done with my treatment. I don't want to be on a long mission and end up skipping a dose. I want this stupid bacteria gone." Then he realized something. "You're still wearing gloves. Are you okay with those?"
"To be honest, I've been trying my hardest not to think about them. Can you take them off for me? Rubber gloves really creep me out."
They got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. Gray took the masturbation sleeve with him. He still had lube slathered on his groin and needed to shower. First he pulled the gloves off of Natsu's hands while the Dragon Slayer cringed at the sound. Then he washed the sleeve with hot water and alcohol while Natsu disinfected his hands, just in case.
"Sorry I used your toy," Natsu muttered, glaring at the erotic vagina-shaped item.
"It's fine. It helped you a bit, right?"
"I still can't use one of those. No way!"
"I totally understand," Gray assured him. He was not so sure he would be able to use this item anytime soon either.
"Do you … um … need help?" Natsu asked, offered with a timid shrug.
Gray looked down to the limp member. "Part of me wants to, just to get it out of my system. Part of me … I realize now why you don't want to come," he muttered. "For a moment there, I didn't want to either. I didn't want to … to give in, give up control." Gray gazed up with worry tightening his brow. "Is that how you feel?"
Natsu frowned with guilt. "Yeah," he whispered, realized his own darkness had partially spread to Gray.
Just as Gray could freeze his nightmares and shatter them, Natsu decided he would burn away Gray's hesitancy. He walked forward and ran his hot hands over Gray's torso, slid up to his chest, and stroked around the shoulder until he reached Gray's neck. Then he lightly stroked his nails down Gray's chest and abdomen, not hard enough to mark it, but a tease of what he could do.
"I really want to watch you," he whispered as seductively as he could. "I won't touch. I won't even be in the shower with you, since it'd tempt us. I'll sit on the toilet. Leave the shower curtain open and let me watch. I love to watch you dripping wet and losing yourself to pleasure. I like to listen to you moan and gasp. I want to watch you touch yourself until you come."
By the time Natsu finished speaking, Gray was instantly aroused. Natsu punctuated his request with a slight lick to his lips. Gray gulped and hurriedly turned on the water. It was not even warm, but he did not mind. He jumped in, letting himself get wet. Natsu took a seat on the toilet and gazed hungrily.
"Show me," Natsu demanded. "Entertain me."
Gray shuddered at the forceful voice. He stroked his body first. This was his way of warming up. He ran his hands down his chest and stomach, then up his thighs. He reached up and tweaked his nipples, twisting the nub between his fingers.
"Yes," Natsu hissed.
Gray opened his eyes. "Wanna do at least that much?"
"I just want to watch."
"But I want your hot mouth on me. My chest is safe."
Natsu stood, and Gray saw he was aroused already. Natsu walked over to the shower, and Gray walked forward out of the water. Natsu licked up cold drips, tasting Gray's sweat amidst the water. Gray reached down and cupped himself while Natsu's tongue lapped across his nipple.
"Suck me there," Gray huffed.
Natsu leaned over to suckle the tiny tit. Gray felt that burning mouth on him, the heat spreading through his body, all of it stampeding down to his groin. He grabbed himself and began to stroke.
"Other one, too," he hissed.
Natsu released that nipple, licked a path across Gray's chest, and lapped up his left nipple. His hands caressed Gray's shoulders, and he could feel the movement of his arm. Glancing down, he saw Gray's wrist stroking himself, that flushed head appearing and disappearing into his pale fingers. So sexy! He grabbed the left nipple between his teeth and bit.
"Arrrgh!" Gray cried out.
Natsu raised up and leaned into Gray's ear. "I want to bite you."
"No," Gray frowned. He wanted it too, but he had that infection. He could not chance Natsu getting sick through his blood. "Or … do something else." Gray held up his free hand. "Suck on my fingers."
Natsu raised his eyebrow in amusement.
"I want to feel you suck me … so much," he admitted. "We can't do that yet, so … suck my fingers. Don't bite them, though. Just … suck. I want to feel the inside of your mouth."
Natsu smirked, sat on the edge of the bathtub, and pulled Gray's hand up to him. First, Natsu kissed each knuckle, letting his lips suck the roughened skin. He turned the hand over and traced the lines in his palm.
"You have a strong heart line," Natsu stated.
"Since when did you learn palm reading?"
"From Cana. She tried to read my palm once. She couldn't make much of anything out of it. Maybe it's a Dragon Slayer thing, because she apparently couldn't easily read Gajeel's palm either. Or she just sucks at palm reading. I only know that this is your life line, this is your fate line, this is your head line, and this," he said, tracing his tongue over a crease that crossed Gray's palm, "is your heart line."
Natsu kissed the tips of each finger, then lightly ran his tongue across each one. Gray moaned, and his wrist got busy again. Then Natsu gazed up at Gray with a devious gleam in his eyes. Oh, he knew just how to undo this cold man!
Natsu sucked on his own index finger. Gray watched, enthralled but curious what the Dragon Slayer had in mind. Then Natsu lifted Gray's hand. He slowly traced his wet finger along Gray's palm, following what he recalled was the life line. It was a wide curve, yet many breaks. Cana had mentioned the same about Natsu's life line. It meant he had a lot of vitality, but he would experience many abrupt changes in his lifestyle. Well, nothing surprising about that! He was a wizard of Fairy Tail, after all. Abrupt changes happened weekly.
His finger traced up to the webbing between Gray's thumb and index finger. Natsu's wet finger slid between the two fingers. Then he suddenly clasped Gray's hand closed. Rather than his fingers being casually spread, now they were tightly together.
"This is what I want to do to your ass," he purred, and Natsu slid his wet finger between the tight space of the thumb and index finger.
Gray gasped, and his eyes widened. He had thought Natsu would just drool over his hand a bit. Instead, the damn Dragon Slayer was toying with him … and driving him crazy.
"I want to touch inside you, Gray," Natsu groaned, forcing his finger to rub in and out. "I want to feel your insides warm up to me."
Gray collapsed backward against the tiles of the bathtub. "Oh God," he moaned, stroking faster.
"But more than that. I want to taste you." He brought the hand up to his face, making sure to press the fingers together tightly, and thrust his tongue between the thumb's webbing.
Gray jolted. Did Natsu really want to try rimming? No man had ever done that to Gray, and he could only imagine how that burning tongue might feel, lapping up his hole and thrusting into his ass. Dear God, he was not going to last long at all!
"Natsu," he warned. "Fingers!"
The Dragon Slayer kissed over the knuckles of both the index and middle fingers, gently folding the others down. His wet finger still wiggled around his thumb webbing as Natsu finally licked the tips of Gray's fingers, swirling his tongue around them, before plunging down, taking his fingers all the way to the bottom knuckles. Slowly, he sucked up and ran his tongue over the fingers again.
"I wanna suck you." Natsu bobbed his head on the fingers, sliding them in and out of the mouth and licking his tongue across the rough skin. "Taste you," he groaned, lapping more and sucking sensually slow. "Swallow you deep down into my throat." He devoured the fingers again, up to the knuckles, until Gray could feel the fleshy uvula hanging down.
"Oh shit, Natsu," he panted. He was so close … so close…
Those narrow eyes gleamed up, the fingers still in his mouth, so erotic that Gray was utterly overwhelmed. He pulled off slowly, and he let those fingers drag over his bottom lip, pulling out. Then he rubbed Gray's fingers around his moistened lips, sensually licking them as Gray ringed his mouth.
"I want you to come in my mouth," he whispered. "I want to swallow it down. I want that taste all over my tongue." He lapped up the fingers again.
"D-Dammit … Natsu…" Gray's back arched.
Natsu sucked the fingertips again and moaned heatedly. "Gimme what I want, Gray!" Then he thrust down onto his fingers and sucked hard.
Gray cried out. As easy as that, he came, barely realizing he needed to aim it away from Natsu. Natsu at least had enough sense to pull the shower curtain over as a shield against the semen. Gray shot against the curtain instead, and pale cum dripped down the plastic lining.
"Dear God, you're too much for me," Gray moaned.
Natsu popped the fingers out and gazed up to Gray. "It wasn't enough, though. I want more!" He stood and walked into the shower.
Gray panicked. "Natsu! No, you can't. I…"
"Don't touch me," he said gruffly. He roughly flipped Gray around, so the semen-soaked groin would not be near him, and then he crashed Gray's chest up against the shower wall. Natsu took Gray's wrists and held them, pinning him against the wall.
"N-Natsu…?"
"I want you so badly, Gray," he growled.
Suddenly, the ice wizard felt a stiff pole ram against the upper crack of his ass, then rub up toward the base of his spine. Natsu was humping himself against Gray's low back! The thought of Natsu dominating made Gray shiver. As much as he liked restraining others and taking all control away from them, thinking about switching that role with Natsu made him groan softly.
"God, I wanna fuck you," Natsu sneered, just a hint of a whining protest in his voice.
Gray's eyes went huge, and he tried to look around his shoulder. "Natsu?" Was this really him, or was this another flashback?
"I want to feel inside you, Gray."
A growl like that was definitely the Dragon Slayer!
"I want to thrust into your body. I want to mark you, scratch you, bite you, lick up your blood, and take you fully as my mate." He pressed Gray flat against the wall and leaned into his ear. "I want to ravage you … so hard!"
Gray lost the air in his lungs. 'Oh shit, he's getting me turned on all over again.'
Natsu slid his cock between Gray's butt cheeks and up to his tailbone, pressing his own body tight to increase the feel of friction. He thrust again and again, stroking himself up against the cold, wet, slippery skin.
"Oh God, Natsu," Gray shuddered. Yesterday, Natsu had regressed so much, almost back to how he was at the beginning, needing a rape fantasy to release. Now…
Gray smiled to himself as he felt the aggression in those thrusts. Doing that roleplay must have really helped Natsu if he was able to be this assertive in his desires. It might have been a bit scary and depressing to know Natsu had gone through such a horrific experience, but seeing a glimpse of that darkness was worth the mental anguish if it meant Natsu could take such a huge step forward.
"It's not inside," Natsu said softly to himself. "It's not in anything."
Gray heard his low muttering. Despite wanting to dominate, Natsu still had his issues. "Shoot it into the sewers. Your cum isn't good for anything. No one will want it once it hits the sewers. Just a drop of filth floating amidst the shit of a thousand asses."
Natsu gasped as he thought about how liberating that sounded. Yes, if his cum was in filth, it was unusable. No one would want it. No one could use it.

"What is this? You missed the cup, you damn boy. And you pissed all over the floor. Your cum is in the middle of piss. I can't use it now. Fucking kid! I need fresh cum, not cum that's sitting in filth. Goddammit. A wasted effort. Damn fucking sonuvabitch…"

Natsu forced the rest of the memory aside. He had been beaten into a bloody mess for wasting his semen, yet that moment had felt like a victory. He might have given in to the physical sensation, but he had denied his captor the victory of collecting his sperm. It was the only victory he had up until his body learned to shut itself down and refuse to ejaculate.
"Gray," he whispered huskily. "Ice my feet, right where they are, and…" He grabbed Gray's hands and weaved his fingers between the ice wizard's fingers, holding on tightly. "…and ice our hands together. I want to see if this works."
"Okay," Gray nodded, panting breathlessly, caught up in the moment. "Wrap your fingers in mine. Hold onto me."
He felt Natsu squeeze his hands, already shivering with the inner fear of his past violence. Gray could not use hand seals to cast the ice, but it was just a little frost, enough to trap Natsu's feet to the bottom of the shower and to freeze their hands together.
"Ah! It's cold!" Natsu cried as the ice encased his feet up to his ankles, and a glove of ice frosted over his hands and wrists. He could still move his arms freely, but Gray was bound up with him, their hands joined. He still felt the cold but strong fingers gripping him.
"Just keep holding my hands," Gray said in gentle encouragement. "Hold onto me, like this, frozen together."
"Yesss! Can't hurt you. Can't attack you." Natsu sped up thrusting with his hips, humping against Gray's back. "One day, Gray. One day, I'll be able to do this for real. I'll mark you inside. I'll claim you. I'll ravage you from behind."
"God, I want that, Natsu!" Gray whispered with a shudder.
Gray moaned as he thought about a day when they could easily take turns. He would tie Natsu up and work him out, giving him the pleasure of erotic pain, and then he would release his captive dragon and let him wildly rampage all the aggression out of his system.
He heard Natsu gasp, and he felt that hot body start to pull away. He must be very close, and the fear of giving in was back.
"Natsu! Shoot it into the sewer," Gray ordered, hoping to keep him in the present moment. He felt Natsu's wet hair shaking back and forth, straining against his fears. "Into the sewer, you damn dragon!"
Natsu gulped hard. He had to trust Gray. Gray was helping him to waste the cum. It was not in anything. It would flow straight into the drain, down to the sewers. Gray wanted it to be a piece of filth. He would not collect it. He did not want it. Gray … just wanted him.
He remembered Gray's words one day. "A few drops of fluid aren't interesting to me. It's watching you build up to that moment of release, watching you be aroused, listening to you whimper and cry. Not your cum, but your pleasure, and I'll milk that out any way I can."
Natsu wanted to show Gray how much the ice wizard pleasured him. He wanted to indulge in that pleasure, and to return it in full. He wanted—so much—to be equals in this sort of pleasuring. At least for now, this was the best he could do. He thrust himself up against Gray, moaning and panting right into Gray's ear so the ice wizard could hear how much pleasure this was giving him, and he smelled arousal in that icy body. Even if all he was doing was thrusting against Gray's back, this was exciting his lover as well.
"G-Gray…" Natsu gnashed. His mouth grabbed Gray's shoulder.
"Don't make me bleed!" he shouted in a panic. "You can bite, but don't make me bleed."
Natsu snarled in vexation. "I want you to bleed. Wanna taste it."
"Not this time, Natsu. That's an order. Don't … make … me … bleed."
Natsu growled in frustration, but the biting did not get harder. It still hurt … so good! Within the icy barrier around his hands, Gray felt Natsu's fingers clench, and his body shook as it drew closer and closer.
"Ah … ahhhhhn!"
Gray felt the teeth tighten. "Stop biting me!"
"Argh! Fine!"
To his surprise, Natsu instead grabbed Gray's hair in his teeth and yanked. Gray's head was forced to look up, stretching his neck. It hurt, he felt hairs ripping out, but he realized this was a better alternative. If Natsu could not bite him, he would pull his hair and claim him that way.
"Natsu!"
That hot body crashed up against him, shivering, thrusting in jolts.
"G-Gray … oh God … Gray … ooooh damn, yessss…"
Gray felt hot liquid splash his back, drip down his butt crack, over his ass, and snake thickly down his thighs.
"Oooooh," Natsu moaned, weakly thrusting the last of it out with long, languid strokes up Gray's butt crack.
"Oh … oh God, Natsu." Gray was pretty sure he had never felt anything so erotic as the Dragon Slayer coming against him like this.
Natsu spat out the mouthful of hair and leaned into Gray's ear. "You're mine," he declared in a possessive growl. Natsu licked the ice wizard's neck, gave him a soft but still rapacious bite on his earlobe, and hissed again in weariness: aggressive, predatory, and insatiable. "You're mine, Gray. My mate."
Gray shuddered, and for a moment he felt like crying. He had been so worried by the things Natsu said, fearing they were hints that the Dragon Slayer had grown bored or frustrated at him, not wanting a relationship anymore. With this, his confidence was restored. As Natsu licked his neck over and over in a domineering manner, Gray wanted to fall into this man's flames once again.
"Release the ice," Natsu ordered roughly. "I'll wash you. Then I'm cuddling you."
Gray laughed at how Natsu could say something so adorable, yet say it so aggressively. The ice vanished, but Gray still faced the wall.
"Are you okay?" Natsu asked in worry.
Gray nodded. "I'm aroused again. If I turn around, I'm going to fuck you senseless, and I can't do that yet."
"Touch yourself off," Natsu smiled. "Come against the wall."
How could he say that and sound so sexy? It was not like Natsu at all. Or was it? Natsu had showed plenty of signs of inner aggressiveness in the past. Gray realized more and more, Natsu was definitely not submissive.
"As tempting as that is, I think my body is still too worn out for another go. I just need to calm myself." He glanced over his shoulder to the Dragon Slayer. "Wash my back?"
While smiling placidly, Natsu took a cleaning sponge and soaped it up. He lathered the suds over Gray's skin, cleaning away the mess he left on him. Natsu watched as the stringy white semen mixed with bubbles and swirled around the drain. However, when the sponge got close to Gray's rump, the ice wizard reached back and grabbed Natsu's wrist.
"Let me clean there. Clean your cock with disinfectant soap … just in case."
"I kept it against your low back."
"It was also up against my ass, and … and I'm not sure what areas of skin are infected. Just be safe … for my own peace of mind."
Natsu patted Gray's shoulder, stepped out to get the special disinfectant soap, and came back into the shower to wash with that. Gray watched him clean up the spent, limp member.
"Your balls, too. Don't forget them."
Doing this really was putting Natsu at risk. Even if Gray tried hard to keep them safe, he forgot about things when Natsu took charge.
"We shouldn't do this anymore."
Natsu looked up with huge, startled eyes. "Did you hate it?"
"Are you kidding me? That was damn hot! Too hot. I forget. I just get overwhelmed. Until I get better, we shouldn't do this."
"Oh," Natsu said sadly, dropping his gaze. "I'm … I'm sorry."
"Natsu."
He began to turn away. "I shouldn't have…"
"Natsu!" he snapped, and Gray grabbed the Dragon Slayer around the shoulders. "Look at me! As soon as I'm well, I want you to do that again," he insisted. "I want you to grab me. Force me to the bed." He gulped hard as arousal thickened his throat. "I want you … to thrust up against me, just like now, and pound me into that mattress!"
Natsu blinked in surprise. "Gray…"
"That was damn hot!" he sneered lustfully. "I definitely want to do that again. But … I'm scared right now. I can't get you sick." He hugged Natsu under the cascading water to hide the anguish in his face. No way could he allow Natsu to get sick! "Especially right now … you're in such a good area, and I don't want to stop you. At all! And that's dangerous. I could end up making you sick, and … and I can't do that," he gnashed. "So, all that aggression in you: save it up! Save it for when I'm well. And when I am, I want you to ravage me as hard as you can!"
Natsu chuckled at the fervor crackling in those frosty eyes. He felt a streak of arrogance and grinned hungrily at Gray. "Oh, don't worry." He tipped Gray's chin to be even with his own mouth. "I plan to!" He gave Gray a rough kiss, biting his lower lip erotically.
"Oh God," Gray shuddered.
Natsu smirked in amusement. "Also, when you're well, I want to bite you while doing that. I want to sink my teeth into you and mark you."
Gray inhaled a hiss through his teeth as he felt a twinge down below. "Natsu … come on!" he whined in sexual frustration.
The Dragon Slayer laughed slyly and let go of Gray. "Wash quickly." He turned and walked out of the bathroom with a swaggering stride to his bare ass. "I'll warm up the bed."

End of Chapter 19

A/N: I posted my impromptu ad-libbing of the finger-sucking scene, if you wanna listen to how I act out scenes that later get written into the story. There are probably changes from the recording to what ended up in the story, but that's just because I work things out after ad-libbing.

No, I wasn't "pleasuring" myself while acting, but yes, I was sucking on my fingers, haha!

chirb.it/pN7Mfe (or find the link at "Rhov Anion's Minions" on Facebook.)
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