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Awakening	By : Demonic_Host Category: Pokemon > General Views: 19514 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever, owned anything related to rights to Pokemon nor do I make money off of my fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 18
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- 20
A/N: Bet you all thought I was dead. Nope; just job searching.

Heartfelt Interference
Chapter Nineteen
Age Seventeen

Working with ghost types, while distracted, was even more harrowing than you would have thought. It wasn't dangerous in the same way as it had been with dragons. Dragons had a tendency to be a bit rambunction and physically strong, so much so that things like a flick of their tails (if they had them) left bruises. Stuff like that. With ghost types...well, they didn't inflict physical trauma of any sort. As far as you could tell they were more about the mental factor. Like there was the one ghastly who would not stop licking you when your back was turned to him. You assumed it was a him, of course, based on the mental chuckle you'd hear time and time again. Not to mention he sometimes liked using his shadows to form himself into the silhouette of a man out of the corner of your eye just to make you jump. And then he would give the masculine laugh.

Seriously you were fed up with ghost type and their pranks. Which was only slightly unfair to think because really it was just that one ghastly who wouldn't leave you alone. Worst thing was that you'd shot yourself in the foot with putting the ghost pokemon in his place. You'd pretty much banished and forbade Nox away from you while you were working. He and Rorsh still needed to have that whole touching and consent issue drilled into the heads. So despite the fact that he would have been extremely helpful wrangling in the wayward spirit pokemon, you made sure that Nox was nowhere around when you went to work.

"You're doing good," your mentor for this stretch of time commented, a smile on her dark skin.

You smiled back despite how tired you were. It hadn't been difficult to switch to a nocturnal schedule to suit the ghost type pokemon. It was just tricky given that your body kept wanting to be awake in the day time. So despite the fact that you knew you needed to sleep for eight hours every day, you would wake up sometime around three and would have to physically tax yourself enough till you passed out. Afterwards you caught something like an hour to hour and a half nap if you were lucky. Thankfully though, ghost pokemon weren't that physically taxing. Now mentally...well, you'd run out of extra energy a long time ago. Which was probably why you felt as lethargic as Mrs. Crowley, your mentor of the moment, looked. But she always looked that way so it was okay for her, not so much for you.

"Here," Mrs. Crowley said, passing you a lemonaid.

Really, you and she were like night and day. Her skin was rich and dark, and she never seemed to be worried about not getting enough sunlight. It just didn't seem to be a concern for the ghost type caretaker. Her hair was always pulled back into tight braids; there never seemed to be anything out of place. And while she did have a lethargic feel about her it wasn't off putting. Where as your hair rarely seemed to listen to you now a days, your skin was at least a shade too pale even for you after your abstinence from the sun, and the mental exhaustion had really started to show. How could it not? Even if the job wasn't as taxing as it was you still had to go home to a tense atmosphere.

"Thanks," you remembered to say after a moment; which was a moment too long because that felt awkward even as you said it.

You and she went back to work, what little of it there was to do. Maybe that's why Mrs. Crowley favored the ghost pokemon. Other than putting up with their shenanigans there wasn't too much to do in order to take care of them. The did require food, sometimes, but there didn't seem to be any waste by-products which was weird. Given that a good majority of them didn't have true corporeal form, most never needed to be washed. Most of the job just entailed having nerves of steel and the ability to play around with them. Both of which lended to actually helping them learn more advanced moves. Nerves of steel and the ability to bounce back quickly after a paralyzing lick.

"Take a break. Talk to your pokemon."

You blinked at Mrs. Crowley. Maybe it was the broken sleep but for some reason you didn't connect the dots until she pointed off to the side. Even then you were a little slow on the uptake.

"They've been waiting for you for at least an hour," she said as she kept pointing at them.

Your eyes finally caught sight of where Mrs. Crowley was looking. Nox was the easiest to see of the bunch, though as you focused more it became apparent that the other two were with him. Rorsh seemed to be looking anywhere he could besides where you were while Ember kept a demanding expression on his face. Which really felt a little topsy-turvey. So much so that it put a strange sensation down your spine. As you walked away in distraction to go talk to them, you'd forgotten to say anything back to Mrs. Crowley in response. It didn't seem that the breeder was at all offended by such actions however. Given the intensity that rolled off of the three in waves it was understandable that your mind instantly went to elsewhere.

Of course there was more to it than the older woman would have realized. More to your distraction than anyone besides you and the three eevolutions knew about. As far as you were concerned it was going to stay that way as well. No one else needed to know what had transpired; it was just safer that way. You didn't want Rorsh nor Nox misunderstood for something that they didn't full understand themselves and you didn't want to be shunned for something you had been blindsided by as well.

"Sitting here could not be that much fun," was the first thing you said.

"No, it's not," Ember said bluntly, staring at you with his extremely dark blue eyes.

You stared back at him with a raised eyebrow. The question of 'why' was implied heavily in the air even as you took a seat. Although you weren't sure that was the best idea given that Ghastly seemed to like to catch you when you had your pack turned, right now you had the feeling that it was time for a serious chat with your eevolutions. After all, if Ember was out here when he could have been amusing himself (or asleep) then there was a reason that all of them were out and about.

Too bad they just wouldn't tell you what it is they wanted to talk about. Instead, silence sat between you and your pokemon like a heavy cloud. You let out a deep breath; so much for talking with them to make it better. Although you had to admit that in some ways the silence was definitely more comfortable. It didn't feel like a taboo subject that you should be ashamed to talk about. It didn't contain words in which you knew may or may not hurt your beloved eevolutions. And it certainly didn't make you any more uncomfortable with the reality than you already were. Although you had to admit that you missed brushing your hands through Nox's fur and the urge to sit right beside Rorsh like you used to do was strong; longing clung inside of you like a child who just wanted to see their friends.

You gave in first, knowing that if you didn't speak up first then you were going to waste your whole break just sitting amongst them in silence. And no matter how uneasy you were with at least two of them, you also knew that you needed to be the bigger person. You might have only been seventeen years old but soon enough you were going to have to be the actual adult; a breeder was only as effective as the amount of responsibilities they could take up while setting their sense of pride to the side. And although you had picked this life seven years ago at such a young age you still wanted to see it through. You might not have goals to be the best breeder in the world but you knew that you would be the best for the pokemon that you took care of. They deserved nothing less than your best. So you set your pride aside and shouldered up the responsibility of being the bigger person, even for the stubborn, privacy invading two before you.

"What did you need to talk about?" you questioned in a quiet voice, knowing that the Ghastly who'd been following you around was probably still doing just that.

Nox looked at you with his ears pressed low. White hot Guilt twisted in your gut as you realized just how much you'd taken out of him. In that moment, so sharply that it felt like a brain freeze, you realized that you couldn't recall a time that he'd looked proud or happy in the last month. Ever since you'd rejected their deviant behavior and denied them your touch, neither Rorsh nor Nox had expressed even one positive emotion. They practically slunk from one place to another. Even their fur didn't seem the same - they still looked moderately cared for but no where near the level that they had been. By comparison they just looked unkept sitting next to Ember.

"I reacted poorly," Rorsh was the first one to speak up out of the tro.

Nox nodded in agreement, making a deep whining sound that made you want to rush to hug him. You held yourself back knowing that your lesson needed to be made. If you couldn't hold to your word they weren't going to respect you - no pokemon would. And without that mutual respect you couldn't help them or any other pokemon for that matter.

"I should never have run away. We should have talked about it first."

His admittance nearly caused what was left of your brain to pause. Rorsh was finally apologizing for leaving you without a warning. Suddenly it was a bit harder to breath as the shock and pain trudged itself back up. You must have made some sort of sound because when Rorsh finally looked up at you with his large indigo eyes he seemed concerned. Sadness gave them a glossy hue, almost like he was going to cry, but it was the way he looked at you as though you were shaking in you place (which you weren't) which really concerned you.

"You loved me so much that when your powers started to grow, you pulled me into your mind to help balance you out and bring you back to the reality you were ready to handle. But that...boy kept highlighting the difference between the two of us. When you thought about him instead of me, all I could think about was that one day I was going to be locked inside of a pokeball because you wanted a future with him and not me. It had already started to happen; the closer you got to him the less you needed me to balance you out because you started repressing yourself. I couldn't take the idea that in the future you would subjugate yourself for a boy. I couldn't, I can't share you like that. I left so I could be the husband you wanted even if it was just when we were asleep and the companion you needed in the day. I left so I could keep you whole because I didn't want to be left behind."

Your eyes, tired as they were, softened at his declaration. It was a sad fact that as people grew up they spent less and less time with their pokemon. Usually for the reasons he just said - though sometimes it was jobs that got in the way as well. Of course there were the rare outliers but all in all he wasn't incorrect. Though you hated to think that you would have done that to him no matter the circumstances. But you weren't psychic - you couldn't predict the future. But...wait…

"Powers?" You asked in confusion.

All three pokemon looked up at you suddenly. A looking of understanding spread over Nox's face and he started to laugh. It was a strange sensation because not only could you hear the mental voice, deep and edgy, but you could hear the sound in the physical world as well. Like you were hearing everything echoing with variations. You stared at Nox as he quieted down.

"You didn't even know," he said in an amused voice. "You didn't even know that you're probably the strongest one of us all, huh?"

See, now you were utterly confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You use energy. It's almost like mine but not quite," Rorsh tried to explained, his expression still stunned.

Apparently it had never dawned on him that you had no idea what was happening to you. The fact that they still thought you had some kind of power, power like a pokemon, alarmed you. But you didn't want to call them liars. Especially since you knew that at some points in your life there had been the harrowing moments when your vision completely messed you up. Moments where it felt like your entire body was coming undone. Or where you could suddenly know where everything was without having to look around. And while you knew that probably wasn't normal you still fought against the idea that it was some sort of hidden power manifested. You were human.

"I'm not a psychic, I can't bend spoons or anything."

"But you can talk to us," Ember reminded you in a smooth voice.

You leaned back slightly as you stared at him. That much was true. You had been able to talk to any pokemon you got close to, emotionally close to that is, since you were a kid. And sometimes you'd pick up what sounded like words from other pokemon that you were nearby. Somehow that had just always seemed normal to you. Especially since most trainers seemed to talk with their pokemon every once in awhile. But…

"Is that not normal?" you asked in confusion.

Rorsh and Nox shook their head, each to their own degree, while Ember just stared at you like you were the dumbest human to ever walk on two legs. You started to agree with him the more you thought about that. How could you not have realized it? You were sure that at one time you'd thought about that, at one time you knew how strange it was that you could understand them as though they were saying actual words and not just expression emotions, but you had suppressed that for some reason. Your throat clenched as your heart sped up. Your eyes looked over to Rorsh wildly as the pieces started to fall into place.

...Rorsh was right.

You clenched your hands around your thighs as you stared down into your lap, your face bunched up as your eyes danced back and forth in concentration. When you'd started talking with Matt and hanging out with him you focused less and less on those oddities. The longer you knew him, the more that you hung around with him, the less of those vision snaps you'd get. And when he thought it was odd that you could tell where your pokemon were no matter the circumstance you had stopped bringing that up. In fact, you'd stopped focusing on being able to do that all together.

"I didn't...I didn't realize," you spoke out in a whisper.

Even admitting that aloud felt wrong. Like you were suddenly going to be ostracized for being different. You'd been trying so hard for so long to fit in with the ideal for a productive member of society that even admitting you might stand out didn't feel right. You already stood out for a lot of things in a crowd; you didn't want to be one of those people who had grandiose ideals of themselves. You didn't want to stand out for all the wrong reasons. And somehow the idea that you could do something that other people couldn't felt wrong. But you also knew that was because of the fact that you wanted to be normal; because you wanted to be accepted.

"What am I?"

If pokemon could shrug, you would have just gotten it in triplicate. The most you got was a wave of uncertainty. And then there was a hint of pride. You realized with sharp clarity that you probably shouldn't have been able to get that - that most people never picked up on those subtle things that you took for granted all these years. And you knew that for certain because of the fact that you had always wondered why trainers and other breeders didn't understand what was happening until it showed up in a pokemon's body language.

"...what…" the word hung in the air as you tried to digest what was going on.

It was a hard ball to push down, a hard pill to swallow. It felt like the world had started to turn a hundred times faster, like it was trying to throw you off. The upside was that you were already sitting down so it wasn't like you could fall down. The downside was that an urge to run, like literally run away from the truth that your pokemon were smacking you with, hit you square in the face. Or rather, all over your body really. Yet at the same time you remained planted on the ground, feeling the shock start to set in.

"Am I even human?" you couldn't help but ask.

"You're still human," Rosh supplied.

"You're still you," Nox filled in. "You'll never stop being you."

You looked up at them with unfocused eyes. Where did you go from here?
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Awakening