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Shadows in Light	By : rafusen Category: +. to F > Fushigi Yuugi Views: 1244 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: Characters are the property of Yuu Watase. The story, however, is mine by original concept.

Little Blog: Just to reflect on some things, in Wind Chimes, the love between Chiri and Tas was pure in all conception. However, there may be an inflection of difference in the attitudes of the two characters in this story. Chichiri has aged, after all-- in the first story, he was probably between fifteen and seventeen-- and I may just surprise you! Who knows, I am a �schizophrenic� writer. Oh, and I�m going to be changing perspectives quite frequently in this one, too. And just to explain things a bit further: yes, it probably does have a LOTR ring to it, but considering that Tolkien incorporated Norse mythology into his stories would answer that. Onward, ho!

The autumn wind takes you far from me, my aelf. Do return with the passing of the night, a darkly lit stream of time flowing ceaselessly into the stars, for my heart grieves wonders at your absence. Recalling to memory the richly earthen fragrance of your skin, already my soul bears pains of woe, desolation invading the once bright corners of my dwelling. When you are here, I need not of the sun or moon, nor even the stars, for you are all that can be brilliant and warm.
His footsteps, as always, were silent, so I should not hear his wavering departure into the vague night sky. And though I know well his calling is the deep blackness covering this world, I am despairingly miserable, feeling as if he should not return the coming day. Each time he takes his leave of me, in these fiercely dark hours, I weep in the stillness, praying fervently for him not to forsake a dear companion who�s life depends upon this remembrance.
In the harshly deepening quiet of midnight, I raise to draw the rattan shutters of my window, canceling out the misty light of the faeries, swirling about, dancing amid the tops of pines, small flames flickering in the distance. They who once were some consolation are now seemingly wearisome in my anguished mind. Where could he have gone? It is the way of all these nights. At one time, he never drifted from my side, in dreams or reality. Now, like the faintly pink haze in the early dawn, he disappears without warning, leaving me in despondency and sorrow at his sudden aloof nature.
Sighing languidly, I recline upon the soft swelling of my bed, clutching the blankets close about my body. I would that I might attempt sleep; yet my mind closes off none of its passages into thought, and I find myself drenched in an anxious sweat. Perhaps it is because I so fear to be alone again, that his current excursions have been troubling me so acutely. The first lights of dawn streak across the sky, wide bands of lavender hues. Awaiting his arrival intensifies my strain, and, trembling with apprehension , I manage to drag myself toward the door, gathering courage to peer out at a lovely autumnal morning. Winds from the east lift gently the fallen flowers, caressing them softly as would fair hands.
Hands�are such wondrous, beautiful things. I long for his tanned, sleek ones to embrace me, to dispel this terrible unease aroused within me. I am unable alm alm it myself, a certain fluttering against my heart stirring passionate desire in my form.
I have begun to feel, as of late, somewhat differently about my dearest friend. Our love, whilst still entirely pure, seems to be growing into something quite alarming. Imperfect mortal that I am, my thoughts directed on him are not always what they should be, and, unfortunately, I seem to be indulging in rather sensuous imaginings of him. It is wrong of me, being an ascetic mage as I have been avowed, to think on him in such manner. Yet am I not human, incorrigible and full of holes, seeping imminent deterioration? So my mind must be feeling the effects of being so, and what could I do, what would I do, to prevent such things from being�
High is the sun in the sky, casting white shadows on the emerald green of the wood, shafts of light tearing through the lofty trees. I am full of hopelessness. By no means has the light of the world been so prominent and I be without him, and anguished tears run freely down my hallowed face.
�Oh, my aelf, do you take flight of me�� I choke on my tears, unable to call out to him. In my heart, I know it is my own fault, for being so ruinous in deliberation. There is nothing left for me now, except to continue a pathetic existence already condemned by the better of humankind. I think on this, finding death perhaps kinder in musing. I waste no time on this thought, quickly abandoning any frail hope of his returning, and hasten to the lakeside, in determination afresh to end my worthless life.
The mirror waters look so cool, and I envisage how they must feel, preparing myself for the sudden immersion. Beneath the surface, I can see the ripples reflecting strange patterns of light through the seemingly impenetrable blue. I knew this day would come�only how soon, as of late, I began to wonder.
When I close my eye, his ruby-colored eyes are still afore me, as the night I first felt his aura surrounding me�
A deep, concentrated warmth seems to pulsate beside me, and I open my eye, only to see my visions before me in reality, glaring sadly into my consciousness. His arms encircle me deftly; I watch how his fiery hair floats vividly in this peculiar gravity, like flames slowly burning against a crystal tranquility. Pressing his mouth on mine, he breathes into me; I drink in his luxurious oxygen, tasting of withering roses and a sweetness I cannot describe.
Somehow we are no longer in the lake. I gaze up at him, tears streaming both gratefully and despairingly, as I hold onto him tightly. His eyes are utterly confused at my current state of being, and he softly brushes his hand against my cheek. Eyebrows knitted together in his bewilderment, an expression of grave concern whittled into his features, he voices a strange, melodic sound, like the sweeping of wind through trees... I cannot possibly hope to express it in words.
�I thought,� gazing fearfully into those jeweled orbs, �I thought perhaps�I should never see you again�� The entire world is without sound as his face falls into a bizarre contortion, and drawing away abruptly, he puts his slender hands over his countenance, sobbing. Though I yearn to hold him, I suppress this particular want, aware of the predominant yearning that has, of late, consumed my heart in a violent fashion�
�Amin hiraetha, melamin,� he states in a rather demure manner, wiping furiously at the blood-stained tears besmirching his winsome features. Hesitatingly, he pulls me close again, burying his face in my soaking robes, his breathing a muffled hum, fluttering against my aching heart, and I struggle, fight to withhold our purity so challenged by my reckless, irksome human whim. His obvious anguish at my drastic actions fills me with deep sorrow. How could I be so careless with his emotions? �I am sorry, too,� I plead, ��but I was so certaand and I cannot see myself going on without you��
Trembling as a withered leaf soon to depart the hosting tree, so his body is reacting, and he says nothing in response, only murmurs unintelligible condolences to himself. This cannot continue, I am sure. He is clearly pursuing some greater cause, and all the while my devious heart is plaguing me with the most hurtful desires. Quite possibly he has become aware of my change, and this is why he takes his leave so often, especially ie hoe hours of night. My guilt lays heavy on my conscience, though nothing, in fact, has transpired betwixt us that would not between perhaps brothers.
We idle away the remainder of the day lying in the warmth of the eternal sun, drying our wet clothing and eyes, having little to converse about. His distinct aversion towards me is breaking my heart; yet the fault is my own. Would I have but kept my soul from defilement, then we could continue on as we always have prior to all these happenings, I consider mournfully. I feel as though I have in some way destroyed his trust, and am once again reflecting on possible suicide when he brings me to my feet startlingly. The sun has faded into the horizon, the colors of night overwhelming the sky, ribbons of pink and red light lingering among the pines.
Will I be without him tonight, then? The thought is almost too much; were I to but have some sort of weapon to end this uncertain misery!
His face is aglow with the evening lights as we embark on our path home.
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Shadows in Light