Gojyo\'s Guide to the Art of Lovemaking

Summary: Gojyo begins his instruction by discussing the importance of seduction. But can they get through a single lesson without bickering?

Disclaimer: Gensomaden Saiyuki is property of Minekura Kazuya.

Rating: NC-17

Pairings: Sanzo/Goku, Gojyo/Goku, Sanzo/Goku/Gojyo

Warnings: This chapter contains strong language and some yaoi. But future chapters will contain more explicit acts involving all three men. While I personally feel this is a treat, if you are at all offended by the thought of homosexual sex- do not read.

Shoutouts: Thankyou everyone who reviewed the first chapter! You are all too kind. (Especially you, Stevil! Your review was very encouraging! I wish I could tell you that smut appears in this chapter- alas, it does not. But keep reading! You will not be disappointed!) I\'d also like to thank the hubby Blue Ross for beta-ing. Love you!

~~

*Gojyo\'s Guide to the Art of Lovemaking, Chapter

As they strolled down the busy street, Gojyo turned to Goku and proclaimed, \"The first thing you need to know about being good in bed is, of co, ge, getting your partner in the mood.\"

Goku blushed, and clenched his teeth. \"Shut up! The whole city doesn\'t have to know!\"

Irritated, Gojyo waved his hand. \"Fine, have it your way.\" Leaning over, he proceeded to whisper inaudibly in Goku\'s ear.

\"What? I can\'t even hear you above all this n,\" ,\" the boy complained.

\"Exactly! Which is why I have to speak loudly!\"

\"You\'re trying to embarrass me on purpose!\"

\"Well, excuuuse me Mr. I\'m-too-afraid-to-admit-that-I-don\'t-know-anything-about-sex.\"

\"That\'s it!\" Red with humiliation and anger, Goku turned around abruptly. \"I\'m going back to the inn.\"

But before he could get lost in the crowd, Gojyo grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him back. \"Uh uh. You\'re not going to walk away that easy. You asked for my advice, and I\'m going to give it to you.\"

\"But you\'re...\"

\"If you\'re *that* concerned about people overhearing our conversation, then we can just find someplace else. God,\" Gojyo said, rolling his eyes.

\"Oh! So 're 're going to act like I\'m the one with the problem!\"

\"What?\"

\"I\'m talking about *you* acting like *I* didn\'t think of that. I\'m not *stupid*!\"

\"Could have fooled me...\"

\"You shithead! I\'ll kick your ass!\"

And so they quarreled, all the way to a secluded park outside town. Once there, Gojyo insisted on them ceasing the argument and focusing on the task at hand. \"Like I said, we should save the arguments for dinnertime, or the Jeep.\"

\"Pfft.\"

\"Anyway...\" Gojyo found a boulder to sit on, crossed his legs and lit a cigarette. After taking his first drag, he began his lecture, with Goku sitting on the grass in front of him.

\"Where was I? Oh yeah. The first thing you need to know is how to seduce your partner.\" Gojyo could tell Goku was still slightly agitated, the way he was violently pulling out blades of grass. \"Hey, man, take it easy...\"

\"But Sanzo and I don\'t really have that kind of problem,\" the boy interrupted.

\"You say that now, but just wait until you\'re single. If I didn\'t know how to entice a woman, I\'d never get laid
\
\"But Sanzo and I...\"

\"I know. You\'re going to live happily ever after, right?\" Gojyo scoffed as he took another drag of his cigarette.

Goku frowned. \"What, you don\'t think so? Sanzo and I...\"

\"Dude, there\'s no doubt in my mind that you will be together forever- but that doesn\'t mean \'happily ever after.\' Especially when it comes to sex. Why do you think old couples are so damn grouchy? It\'s because there\'s no more excitement in the bedroom. It\'s times like that- times when your partner isn\'t \'in the mood\'- that the art of seduction comes in handy.\"

\"Oh,\ku rku replied. \"Is that how you get chicks to fuck you?\"

Gojyo paused for a few moments at the boy\'s offensive comment. \"What the hell is that supposed to mean?\"

\"Nothing. It\'s just a question,\" he said. \"Besides, I need to know whether or not this seduction thing works.\" While his face and his tone appeared innocent, inside Goku was laughing. \'Let me hear you admit it, you dumb water sprite.\'

Gojyo sighed, and contemplated whether he should answer. \"Well... as your teacher I guess... yeah... it\'s something like that. But there has to be at least *some* desire for it to work. So will you let me finish what I was saying?\"

\"Yeah,\" the boy said, as he picked blades of grass. \"But...\"

\"What?\"

\"You really think we\'ll be together forever?\" Goku\'s eyes glittered as he spoke, for the thought of him and Sanzo spending the rest of their lives together made his heart leap for joy. \'I hope we can grow old together, Sanzo. Because I love you with all my heart!\'

Gojyo rolled his eyes. \"Oh... my God... Can we get on with the lesson? The sooner we get this done the sooner I can find a date.\" But looking into Goku\'s eyes, he could tell the answer was important. \"If you need to know that badly, the answer is yes.\"

\"Really?\"

\"Yeah. But back to the lesson.\" Gojyo cleared this throat, as he stamped out his cigarette. \"When it comes to the seduction, you should always remember that there\'s a difference between an innocent invitation and...\"

\"Sexual harassment?\"

\"Exactly.\" Gojyo took a deep breath as he stared off into the distance. \"I had to learn that lesson the hard way.\"

Goku looked at him and cringed. \"So, you\'re telling me that what you normally do is seduction and not sexual harassment?\"

\"...\"

\"Ew.\"

Gojyo jumped off the boulder, and pointed his finger angrily at Goku. \"Shut up! That\'s not my point! I\'m saying you should choose your battles wisely!\"

\"Battles?\"

A vein appeared over Gojyo\'s right temple. \"Are you trying to pick a fight, you dumb ape?!\" Gojyo sat back down on the rock and ran his fingers through his hair. \"I should have been clearer. Some women, if you *look* at them, they\'ll yell sexual harassment. When I said there\'s a fine line between seduction and sexual harassment, I was thinking of those women...\"

Goku scoffed as he returned to picking the grass. \"Whatever you say, water sprite.\"

\"One more insult and you fail, monkey boy! Anyway, the key to seduction is simple. But first, tell me this: How do you seduce Sanzo?\"

Goku put his finger to his lip and thought long and hard. After a few moments, he responded excitedly, \"We just go for it! It\'s like we want each other so bad...\"

Gojyo crossed his arms and shook his head. \"When it comes to having sex, you have to start out slow. That is what seduction is.\"

\"But it gets so hard!\" The boy\'s eyes grew wide. \"I mean, I can\'t do anything with him while we\'re traveling, so when we get the chance to have sex I can\'t wait! It feels like I\'m going to explode!\"

\"You don\'t think I feel that way? But at least you got Sanzo to fulfill your needs. Me, I gotta go out and look for my shit.\" Gojyo frowned, realizing that he probably wouldn\'t get any tonight. \"But, yeah. You have to take it slow. Trust me, when you gradually work up the pace, the sex itself will be so much better.\"

\"How so?\"

\"Because, when you finally start fucking, you\'re relieving all that tension.\" Gojyo stood up and began to pace. \"Think of it this way- you\'ve got this itch you can\'t scratch. And finally, after what seems like an eternity, you find someone to scratch it for you. It feels a million times better than it would if you had scratched in the beginning.\"

Gthouthought about it for a few seconds. \"Yeah, I see what you mean.\"

\"Good,\" Gojyo said, rubbing Goku\'s head and messing up his hair. \"You\'re catching on quickly, monkey!\"

\"Don\'t call me that!\" Then, muttering, Goku added, \"Water sprite.\"

Gojyo laughed and sat down in the grass next to him. \"The second thing you need to know,\" he said softly as he learned towards the boy, \"is how to pull it off.\" He grinned, and the look in his eyes made Goku shiver.

\'What is he doing?\' he thought as he scooted away from him. \'Is he... trying to seduce me?\'

As soon as that thought crossed Goku\'s mind, the half-demon\'s enchanting expression faded almost instantly. \"Don\'t get all weird on me, monkey. I\'m showing you what seduction looks like.\"

\"Well, I got your point. You don\'t have to stare deep into my eyes or anything,\" Goku said, with a look of revolt.

\"Oh, trust me. I wouldn\'t want to touch you, much less seduce you.\" Gojyo replied flippantly. \"But I figured I outta show you how the masters do it. Now, let\'s see if you canl itl it off.\"

Staring sheepishly at the ground, Goku shrugged. \"No... I don\'t really want to.\"

Gojyo stood up and walked to a nearby tree. \"You don\'t have to practice on me, dumbass. Why don\'t you pretend this tree is Sanzo?\" he said, placing his hand on the trunk.

\"No! That\'s stupid.\"

\"Is it?\" Gojyo turned his gaze towards the tree and with his hands he began to stroke it lovingly. \"Hello, Sanzo...\" Then, diverting his attention to Goku, he stared at the boy with the same tempting expression as before. \"What do you say we have some fun?\"

Goku felt a twinge of jealousy, and he rose to his feet. \"Stop doing that!\"

\"Why? Can\'t you see me and the sexy priest are busy?\" Gojyo looked back at the tree. \"I\'ve never admitted this to anyone but... Sanzo is pretty fuckable.\"

\"You stupid...!\" Goku raced towards him and pushed him away from the tree. \"You want me to practice on the tree, I\'ll do it! Just don\'t talk about Sanzo that way!\"

Gojyo stepped back and lifted his hands. \"He\'s all yours.\"

\'God, I hate him. He thinks he\'s so smart,\' Goku thought bitterly. Taking a deep breath, he put his hands on the tree and closed his eyes.
In his head, he imagined Sanzo, walking into his room, ready to fuck. As the wonderful im flo flooded his mind, he grew hard.

As he opened his eyes, Goku half-expected to see the naked, blonde-haired priest standing before him. But instead, he found himself groping the trunk of the tree.

\"Hahahaha!\" Gojyo roared. \"Is that what you call \'seduction\'?! If I didn\'t kbettbetter I would have thought werewere constipated!\"

\"Shut up! I can\'t \'seduce\' a tree! Only perverted water sprites have sex with trees!\"

Gojyo continued to laugh, inciting Goku even more. \"Why do you always have to laugh at me?\" It was one thing to call him a monkey, or berate him for being hungry all the time, but *this*...

\"Hahaha... I\'m sorry...\" Gojyo choked. \"It\'s just... a good thing I saw your performance or else... poor Sanzo... hahahaha!\"

\"Laugh all you want, you asshole! All I know is...\"

\"It\'s a tree. Yes, I know. Why did you think I \'seduced\' you?\" Gojyo said.

\"You think you\'re hot shit!\" Goku hollered, stepping towards the smirking half-demon. \'He thinks he can just piss me off whenever he feels like it.\' \"I\'ll show you what seduction looks like!\"

The boy walked up to Gojyo and pushed him onto the boulder. Staring deeply into his crimson eyes, Goku\'s face was so close he could feel his breath against his lips. \"Would you like to have some fun?\" he whispered enticingly as he put his hand on Gojyo\'s arm.

For a few seconds Goku stared at him, his large golden eyes filled with undiluted desire. Then, without warning, he turned around and headed in the direction of the town.

\"Hey, man! Where are you going?\" Gojyo shouted, getting off his rock.

\"Away from you,\" Goku replied, still walking.

As Gojyo ran to his side, he put his arm around the boy\'s shoulder. \"That was great, monkey! I didn\'t know you had it in you!\"

\"Yeah, whatever. You\'re just saying that.\"

\"Bullshit. You know I make fun of you every chance I get,\" Gojyo said, smiling. \"But seriously, for a second you got me a little heated.\"

\"Ew! I don\'t want to know that!\" Goku cringed. \"Now I\'m going to have to take a shower when I get home.\"

\"It\'s about time, you smelly monkey.\"

\"Shut up! I\'ll kill you in your sleep, water sprite!\"

~~

As they neared the inn, Goku suspended his hostility to ask Gojyo a question that had been on his mind since they started their lesson.

\"Why aren\'t you making fun of me?\" he asked reluctantly.

\"Well, I was teasing you a minute ago,\" Gojyo said. \"Why, you want some more?\" The playful kappa grabbed Goku and gave him a noogie.

\"Ah! Stop it!\" Goku yelled, squirming. \"No, what I meant was, why didn\'t you make fun of me when you found out Sanzo and I were...\" He trailed off, and scratched his head diffidently.

Gojyo lit a cigarette and leaned against the wall. \"I don\'t think it\'s a big deal. You think you\'re the only one who likes men?\" Taking a drag, the half-demon laughed softly.

His words caught Goku off-guard, and at first the boy had no idea how to respond. \"Does that mean you\'re...?\"

Gojyo gave a twisted smile as he took another drag.

\'That asshole!\' Aggravated, Goku lunged at him, knocking the cigarette out of his hand. \"You could have told me, you shithead!\"

\"Retard, that was myaretarette!\" Gojyo yelled as he bent down to pick it up. \"Besides, it\'s not any of your goddamn business what I do, now is it?\"

\"You mean \'who\' you do? You\'re a bigger slut than I thought,\" Goku laughed.

\"Hey, at least I\'m not some a pathetic little bottom boy.\"

\"You don\'t know that!\"

\"The day Sanzo lets you fuck him in the ass is the day I...\"

\"Excuse me!\" the hotel girl spoke cheerfully as she poked her head outside the window beside them. \"Could you keep it down? We\'ve had a few complaints from our other guests.\"

\"Sorry,\" Goku said, sweating. \'Damn, I hope Sanzo didn\'t hear that.\'

\"It\'s no problem, honey,\" Gojyo winked at her. \"We\'ll keep it down-woulwouldn\'t want to get you in trouble.\"

\"Oh, thank you!\" the girl giggled, putting her head back inside.

\"No, thank you.\" Gojyo said. Then, turning to Goku, he lowered his voice. \"Before you go upstairs, I\'ll let you in on a little secret. The kinkiest girls are the ones who act the most innocent.\"

\"...\"

\"The same goes for priests.\" With those words, Gojyo waved his hand and headed toward the marketplace.

\"Where you going, Gojyo?\"

\"Out to hone my skills. Good work today, monkey!\"

\"Are we going to hang out tomorrow?\"

\"Yep. You know what your homework is, right?\"

Goku looked puzzled. \"No...\"

\"Practice!\"

~~

Exhausted after his engagement with Gojyo, Goku trudged up the stairs. As he headed towards his room, he wondered how Sanzo was doing. Since Gojyo and Hakkai were gone, it would be the perfect time to visit Sanzo and practice what he had learned.

Goku tapped lightly on Sanzo\'s door, and awaited a response. None came.

\"Man, I was really forward to it too,\" the boy said, disappointed.

\"Looking forward to what?\"

Turning around, Goku was surprised to see Hakkai standing before him. \"Oh! Hey Hakkai,\" he smiled.

\"I think Sanzo\'s in your room,\" Hakkai pointed. \"I also think he\'s been waiting for you all afternoon.\"

\"Really?\" Goku clasped his hands, and a huge grin stretched across his face. \"Thanks, Hakkai!\"

\"No problem, Goku. You two behave.\"

\"We will!\" Goku skipped to his room, but before he entered he suddenly felt flustered. Did Hakkai know too? \'Well, even if he did it doesn\'t matter,\' he thought. Hakkai would be the last person on earth to judge him.

Goku opened the door to his room, and sure enough, Sanzo lay sprawled out on his bed. His robe was off, and his droopy violet eyes gazed at the ceiling.

\"Sanzo!\" Goku exclaimed happily as he leaped onto the bed. \"What are you doing here?\"

\"What do you think?\" the priest replied. Although his voice sounded apathetic, Goku knew Sanzo had been waiting impatiently for him to return. And now that they were here, alone in the same room and lying in the same bed, Sanzo would get what he so desired.

~~