Crash

Warnings this time for violence and Zetsuai-type situations o.O (This
plot twist was my idea, but my co-writer later made fun of it for
being too much like Kouji.) Hope everyone likes it anyway.

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Chapter 2


Yuki didn\'t expect he\'d be comfortable all night as they\'d fallen
asleep, but he didn\'t quite feel vindicated when he woke up a few
short hours later, tired and with a slight headache. It was then
that he remembered he hadn\'t taken all his medicine that day, with
the \"date\" and all. Too stubborn to think about taking the pills now
he slipped carefully out of bed and found himself a cigarette. //To
hell with the doctor\'s orders. It\'s not like…I wouldn\'t be dying a
little every day even if I quit.// Snorting quietly with his own
morbid thoughts he slipped to the window, hoping for a bit of fresh
air to cool him down; the touch of Shuuichi\'s body against him had
left his side warm.

//Yuki….// He leaned against the window sill as he took in the
drug. //I wonder what you would have thought of Shuuichi?// A
moment later he thought he had the answer, and his face twisted
faintly as a tremor ran through him.

Shuuichi frowned and wiggled against mattress. His feet kicked out a
moment, shoving the blankets off his bare chest, and he shivered at
the breath of cool air. Shifting, he worked his way into a warm
patch of mattress left behind by a missing body. He threw an arm up
over his head and mumbled wosslyssly to himself.

Yuki glanced back towards the bed, and with another breath of his
cigarette composed himself once more. //Calm down. It\'s not like
that—it\'s just the two of you here.// But he still shook a little,
whenever he looked at the boy taking up his bed, and at last he had
to turn away. A moment later he was heading for the door. //You got
your date, Shuuichi—is that enough for now? Don\'t….// He ground his
teeth as he headed into the main room and flopped down on the sofa.
Not that he intended to sleep. //Damnit, don\'t expect too much from
me.//

A creak in the floor brought him slowly awake. //Yuki?// Sitting
up, he realized that his lover was gone. \"Yuki?\" He was suddenly
frightened, sleep falling off him with the blankets as he sprung from
the bed and raced out of the room. \"Yuki?\" he called, skidding into
the living room with wide eyes.

\"Hm?\" Yuki glanced up from his cigarette, slouched on the sofa with
one arm draping along the back. //I should have expected him sooner
or later.// \"What?\" he asked simply, pausing to take in another deep
breath. \"Can\'t sleep?\"

Seeing Yuki, sitting there so calmly…he began to feel really stupid.
Shuuichi glanced away and twirled his fingers. \"Um, well….\" //I
can\'t believe I…thought he might have left.// He kicked idly at the
floor. \"Um…it\'s nothing,\" he finally muttered sheepishly.

He lifted an eyebrow. \"Oh? Well, all right.\" He glanced away, out
across the skyline. It looked…a little darker than usual. Probably
just because he was tired. \"Are you going back to bed, then?\"

Shuuichi danced uncertainly about. \"Aren\'t you?\" he asked back, then
quickly went on. \"I mean, if I was bothering you, I don\'t mind
staying on the couch. You need your rest, right? You have that book
you weorkiorking on, and we were outside pretty much all day, so you
need the rest more than me. So if you…wanted the bed….\" //Is
sleeping next to me…really that difficult?//

Yuki waved a hand dismissively. \"Take it,\" he muttered. He didn\'t
expect Shuuichi to understand. \"At least you have a chance of
sleeping tonight. I\'ll stay out here.\" //I\'m sorry, okay? Just go
back to bed.// \"It\'s nothing,\" he added, just because he knew what
question the boy would ask next.

\"But….\" Somehow, the other\'s tone deflated him, and he fell
still. //Yuki….//

Without glancing at the other, Shuuichi walked over and flopped down
on the other length of the couch. He curled up on is side, facing
the back cushions. \"I\'m staying here,\" he decided aloud, closing his
eyes. //I don\'t want to be in there alone.//

Yuki rolled his eyes as he flicked some of the ash of his
cigarette. \"Don\'t be cute,\" he snorted, determined not to let it get
to him. \"Just go back to bed—you need the rest, too.\" //The last
thing I need is for him to mope around in the morning because he\'s
exhausted. Or maybe…for him to sit there all night as if he\'s taking
care of me.// The tobacco smoke suddenly began to taste sour, and he
snuffed it out with another snort. \"I can take care of myself.\"

Shuuichi curled up tighter against the couch. //You don\'t
understand, Yuki….// He stared at the dark cushions, wishing he\'d
brought a blanket. Or even a shirt. \"I\'m not sleeping in there
alone,\" he informed the other, hoping he sounded stern.

//Of all the….// With a long-suffering sigh Yuki pushed to his
feet. \"Come on, then,\" he muttered, already heading back to the
room. \"I\'ll stay in there with you.\" //Though I\'m still not going
to sleep.// He paused, glancing back only briefly. \"And…it\'s not
you, Shuuichi. It\'s not like that, so don\'t make that damn face.\"

He pouted, but he still got up to follow the ot \"W \"What else am I
supposed to think?\" he muttered to himself. Once they were in the
room, he paused at the edge of the bed to glance at his
lover. \"Yuki?\"

\"Hm?\" Yuki scratched idly at the back of his neck as he flopped down
in the room\'s only chair. \"I said don\'t worry about me—you just get
some sleep. You\'ve got work tomorrow.\"ugh ugh he didn\'t want to
give any indication of how tired he was he couldn\'t help scrubbing
briefly at his eyes.

//Damnit Yuki, why do you have to be so stupid?// Bending down,
Shuuichi scooped up his abandoned shirt and pulled it on. \"You\'re so
stubborn,\" he returned before marching to the closet. \"Stubborn.
And frustrating. And stupid.\" He pulled out an extra blanket. He
marched over to his lover and finally met his eyes. \"And I love
you,\" he informed, bending down for a quick kiss before the man could
stop him. //Just give in this once, okay? You need to sleep.// He
turned for the door. \"I\'ll sleep on the couch—I\'m used to it, and
you need sleep, too.\"

Yuki lowered his eyes, suddenly feeling his insides tighten. He bent
slightly over his knees as he heard Shuuichi\'s soft footsteps towards
the door. \"Shuuichi….\" //Damnit, I don\'t…I don\'t want to deal with
this now. I didn\'t want to tell him to begin with, and now….// A
shudder ran through him as he swept a hand over his face. //Damnit,
don\'t make me remember him, not now. Don\'t sound so understanding.//

\"Go to sleep,\" he repeated over his shoulder. \"I know you don\'t
sleep well all the time, so you should get what you can, right?
Don\'t worry about me.\" Shuuichi hugged his blanket to his
chest. \"Okay? Yuki.\"

\"I….\" Yuki shook his head faintly. But he was afraid he\'d lost too
much of his composure already, and he gave up trying to hide it as
his shoulders crept up. \"Not tonight,\" he whispered
brokenly. //Yuki…damnit. Damnit!// \"I…won\'t be able to sleep
tonight.\"

Shuuichi paused, slowly turning back. //Yuki….// And he couldn\'t
help it—he was going back, slipping up next to his lover. Dropping
the blanket, he knelt and set his hands in Yuki\'s lap. \"Then I\'ll
stay with you,\" he decided quietly. \"I…don\'t want you to be alone.
Unless you really want to be….\"

\"No, I….\" Yuki shook his head again—he wasn\'t sure what he wanted.
He wished he hadn\'t said anything to begin with, because it only hurt
more when he thought of all the things he still hadn\'t told his young
lover. Hadn\'t told Shuuichi, who did everything and offered himself
to him at every chance. //Am I really just using him?// He set his
hand over Shuuichi\'s, trying to draw the boy\'s attention away from
his face; his eyes and throat were burning, and he didn\'t want that
to be seen. \"I don\'t know,\" he murmured hoarsely, glancing away. \"I
just don\'t know.\"

Shaking his head, Shuuichi bent forward to place a soft kiss on his
lover\'s hand. \"I\'m staying then.\" He looked up, catching the
expression on Yuki\'s face, and cringed at the painful
emotions. \"Yuki…whatever it is, you need to let it go, or let me
help, because this….\" He squeezed his cold fingers. \"This is gonna
make you sick again. Please...?\" //What can I do? I can\'t help him—
I just make him worse, but…. I can\'t just leave him like this.//

Yuki snorted quietly. //If only he knew how normal this is for
me.// But he was tired, and almost shivering, and he didn\'t want to
fight Shuuichi anymore. He\'d given so many concessions already—a few
more wouldn\'t hurt. \"Okay.\" He pushed slowly to his feet. \"I\'m
going to take something to help me sleep,\" he said. \"Then…I\'ll come
back here, and we can sleep together. All right?\"

He nodded. \"All right.\" Standing, he moved to return the extra
blanket. \"I\'ll wait here for you,\" he continued, heading back to the
bed and sitting down to wait expectantly. //Yuki….//

Yuki nodded vaguely and headed into the bathroom, cringing a little
as he pulled a small pouch out of the bottom cabinet he knew Shuuichi
never used. It was filled with several bottles of pills, all
prescription, all for something different. He was never sure what to
feel when he looked at them; shame, frustration, indignity…because
the truth was he didn\'t feel much of anything anymore. Remembering
about his missed doses earlier in the day he swallowed several of the
multi-colored tablets and capsules, along with an extra drug to help
him sleep. If it got Shuuichi to sleep as well it would be worth it.

Yuki returned to the room to find Shuuichi waiting for him, and formomemoment he paused. He then continued to the bed with downcast
eyes. \"Sorry about this,\" he muttered as he sat down heavily on the
mattress edge.

\"Sorry nothing,\" he replied easily, scooting closer and threading his
arm though Yuki\'s. \"Don\'t apologize—we take care of each other,
right? So come on and lay down.\" Shuuichi gently began to urge his
lover back onto the bed. If they could just lie together for a while…
things would work out. They always managed to stay together, and now
would be no different.

Yuki nodded, but as soon as he was starting to lie on his back he
paused, turning over. //Even doped up I won\'t be able to sleep like
that.// Stretched out once more he actually did feel a little
better, especially knowing soon it would be morning and they could
start fresh, back to normal. \"Just…stay next to me,\" he murmured
quietly.

Shuuichi watched as his lover got comfortable before moving closer.
He lay down on his side so he could rest his head just below the
joint of Yuki\'s arm and torso, draping his own arm over otheother\'s
waist. \"Is this okay?\" he asked softly, rubbing lightly at Yuki\'s
spine.

\"Yeah, it\'s fine.\" Yuki closed his eyes, getting used to the feel of
Shuuichi so close to him. It felt like he was submitting to
something, but for some reason he didn\'t mind right now. //I\'m too
tired to care, I guess. And at least he isn\'t asking questions….//
With a quiet sigh he let the rest of his strength drain out of him,
as if falling deeper into his mattress. \"Goodnight, Shuuichi.\"

\"G\'night, Yuki,\" he replied in a whisper. After a quick kiss to the
author\'s shoulder, Shuuichi finally settled down, just listening to
his lover\'s breathing until it became deep and even. He
smiled. //I\'m sorry I hurt you, Yuki, but you need this. You need
to sleep like the rest of us humans.// Feeling pleased and now very
exhausted, Shuuichi finally let himself relax and fall asleep.

--------

Yuki slid away from his desk with a sigh, stretching his weary
fingers. It had been a few days since Shuuichi\'s concert at Zepp
Tokyo, and now that he was considered a \"big star\" in the pop
industry because of its huge success, it meant the author was finding
himself with more time home alone. It was both libing ing and a
little…lonely, he was loathe to admit. Things just weren\'t the same
without a bubbly teenager bouncing around the apartment. There were
times it was so quiet he could glance about and almost imagine he was
living alone, like he used to. But then he usually spotted
Shuuichi\'s clothes, or some movie left out he\'d been watching any any
other manner of useless proof that he really did have a lover.

It wasn\'t that late in the evening yet, but the heavy downpour
outside gave everything the appearance of night, and Yuki lit himself
a fresh cigarette as he watched the rain fall outside his window. It
fit the mood for his newest chapter perfectly. //But then, when I
finish this book I\'ll have to come up with an idea for anther one.
Maybe I\'ll draw this one out a little longer. Or lie to my
publisher.// He liked that idea, and it made him smirk as he lowered
his gaze just in time to see Shuuichi appearing down the
street. //Little fool should have taken a cab in this weather,// he
thought with an almost affectionate sigh.

//I\'m cold. I\'m wet. I\'m hungry. I\'m tired. I\'m wet. I can\'t
see. I\'m wet.// Shuuichi cursed softly as he slipped on the soaked
sidewalk. //Why didn\'t I ask Hiro for a ride? Just because our
practice went so well and I finally get to have some time off to
spend with Yuki….// He swiped at his sticking bangs as he caught
sight of their shared apartment and thought of how nice a hot shower
would be at the moment. Smiling, he hurried on.

There were no lights, not even a warning horn, but Shuuichi suddenly
saw a dark shape rise up beside him. Then there was just a horrible,
body-shocking pain that ripped through his legs and up. It felt like
the entirety of his beg a g a few months ago compressed into a single
moment and multiplied by a hundred, and as he was sent into the air
he thought he would pass out from the blow.

He didn\'t pass out, though, and was painfully aware when he found
himself suddenly crashing into the cement. //Oh God…what
happened…?// He couldn\'t see—his eyes wouldn\'t focus—and none of his
limbs were obeying him as the rain continued to fall.

It took Yuki a long moment to realize what had happened. It too too
fast—an instant—and then everything was silent again beneath the
rain. His cigarette, almost smoked halfway down, fell lightly to the
floor. //Shuuichi…?// A few seconds passed, motionless and without
sound, and then Yuki was sprinting from his room, snatching his cell
phone off the desk along the way. He couldn\'t think, but he somehow
managed to tap out the emergency number, and relay swift, almost calm
directions to the operator that answered. By then he was outside,
unflinching beneath the rain as he dashed to the street. Only to
find….

//Oh god….//

Shuuichi lay very still, not sure what had happened, only knowing he
was hurt and wet and his leg was numb yet felt like it was being bent
in a way legs were never supposed bend. He could dimly see a stretch
of road, the rise of the sidewalk he\'d just left beyond.

Suddenly there was a man standing over him. The voice and face were
unfamiliar, and Shuuichi had the vague idea that the man was talking
in a rather panicked manner. Something about him not being hit that
hard, everything was okay, stand up…. It was difficult to make out
through the quickened heartbeat and thick breathing in his
ears. //Just…go away…. I…I can barely breathe—it feels like my chest
is getting smaller….//

The man seemed to have other ideas, however, as he suddenly reached
down and grabbed the boy\'s arm. Still muttering about him being
fine, the man lifted him as if to get him to stand. The movement
sent hundreds of little knives into Shuuichi\'s chest, and he tried to
scream, but the best he could manage was a wet, strangled cry. He
weakly jerked his arm away, tears adding to the blindness of water in
his eyes.

When Yuki came upon the pair at first he wasn\'t sure what to do;
everything was too fast, too surreal. His cell phone was clattering
to the ground—he was dragging the stranger away from Shuuichi—he was
lowering the boy back to the pavement. \"Don\'t move,\" he hissed,
wondering if Shuuichi could even hear him. God, there was blood on
the front of the car…. \"Shuuichi, just stay still—an ambulance is
coming.\" //Fuck—fuck! This isn\'t happening, it can\'t be!//

//Yuki….// Finding himself on cold pavement once more, it was all he
could do to keep forcing air into his lungs—they felt strained,
small, and every movement spread more pain though him until he
coughed. Something warm and thick passed his lips. //Yuki…Yuki….//
He forced his eyes up and to focus on his lover. There was some
relief in the sight—Yuki would take care of him, certainly. So he
stayed still, as instructed, feeling that his body was twisted and…
probably should have been hurting more. He was getting cold….


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