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Undying	By : Lynnember Category: Gravitation > General Views: 1872 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Undying

Chapter Two

A Step Too Far

Disclaimer: I
don�t own Gravitation.

***************************************

Shuichi walked into the NG office with all the enthusiasm he
could muster in a forced and painful smile, but there was no hiding the truth.
He felt like shit, and knowing full well what the effects of an uncomfortable
night, with depressed emotions and only the sofa for company could do to him�
he probably looked like it to. He hadn�t changed that morning. The moment he
had woken Yuki was already gone, and for him there was nothing worse than being
left in the huge, sterile apartment alone. His white t-shirt was rumpled beyond
any flattering shape, and his shorts hung loosely over strained legs.

Even the, �What the hell happened to you?� that was spoken
jokingly by Hiro on his entrance, seemed designed to enhance his depression.

�Yuki�� he managed to bungle out, before the tears
resurfaced.

That was all the information his friend needed. Rolling his
eyes, Hiro silently went to the drinks machine and pulled his friend out a Dr
Pepper. The hiss that evaporated into the room when he removed the cap almost
sounded intrusive, Shuichi had spoken so quietly.

Being handed the cold soft drink, Shuichi sat down on one of
the office chairs and nodded his thanks, glad there was no one else in the
room. Hiro was always the most productive to bounce emotions off. He was caring
and sympathetic when it was required, but more importantly he was brutally
honest when others might be warned off. Deep down Shuichi knew it was only
Hiro�s wonderfully rare and coveted insight (only a lifelong best friend could
possibly give) that could realistically break his funk now.

Pulling up a chair next to him, Hiro laid casually onto the
cushioned back, resting his arms over it, and rocking on the back legs. �So
what is it this time?� he questioned, absently watching the television the
other end of the long table. �Did you use his computer again like the last
time?�

Shuichi shook his head.

�Okay�� he continued, �It�s about Yuki right?�

A nod.

�So Yuki�s pissed at you?�

A lacklustre shrug of the shoulders.

�So you�re not sure if Yuki�s mad at you?�

Another nod.

�Right then� if it�s not just Yuki then there must be
something or someone else?�

Shuichi fell headfirst onto the table, rocking his head
rhythmically up and down, as his heart broke afresh. How did Hiro do it, how
did he see through him so easily? Oh god! How were they going to get through
this? He�d never seen anyone look so empty and lost as Tohma had the previous
night and it was only equalled in pain by Yuki�s seeming indifference to the
situation.

�Ah so you�ve been a bad little lover and let Yuki have time
enough to get another play toy behind your back?�

�NO!� he protested, fresh energy clawing in to disrupt the
spell of self-pity. �Yuki is mine! I love Yuki, he�s mine and I absolutely
won�t let anyone else have him! So long as I live Yuki will be mine or I�ll die
trying to keep him!>
>

�Agn!� was the strangled sound that escaped Hiro�s lips.
�You mean Yuki�s really got another lover? I thought�.�

�I did too,� Shiuchi interrupted, looking away and welcoming
the shadow of the stark blinds as they blocked out the glaring morning
sunshine. �The truth is that Yuki�s had more lovers than hot dinners, so why�
when did I start thinking that I was anything special? I thought I was�? I
thought we were starting to be in love. I mean I�ve always been in love with
him... right from the beginning, surely that means something?�

�That you�re an idiot,� Hiro joked, �Besides I don�t think
you were in love with him right from the beginning. Infatuated� oh yes� but I
don�t think there was real love then, it was more like Yuki fever.�

Shuichi clutched his chest as the import of Hiro�s words
sunk in. It wasn�t true was it? He hadn�t been infatuated? It had been love at
first sight� hadn�t it? Infatuation� it made them equal, completely equal.
Squeezing his eyes shut tight, Shuichi conjured up the image of the previous
night, seeing Yuki looking so intensely into Tohma�s eyes, the look of scorn
that he had shown to Shuichi on countless occasions, warping his beautiful
features.

�It's an infatuation, nothing more. You'll get over it,
in time I hope you will."

Did the same apply to him? Was Yuki just riding out his
interest for the physical, hoping he would be free of him after a few months,
was that why he was so cold to him after Tohma left? His head suddenly felt
inexplicably heavy, as the emotions hit from every angle.

�I was hoping�� he said after a while, �I was hoping that at
least he might have started loving me back� you know, just a little bit, under
all his bad past. I always hoped I held a special place with him, a little
place where a tiny part of me diligently pumped warm blood back into his
wounded heart� but how� when someone comes along like this, someone I know Yuki
already cares about, who he has admitted to already caring about � how Hiro?
How am I supposed to compete?�

�Compete� compete for Yuki? Is this about Ayeka-chan?�
Hiro�s voice became a little strained as his heart hiccupped into his mouth,
�She told me� that is I thought that had all been settled.�

Shuichi shook his head, �No, not Ayeka.�

Hiro was momentarily glad his friend was so preoccupied so
as not to hear him sigh in relief. There had been so much ground made up
between them. So many hours had been spent on trying to wean out the cords of
unrequited love she had for Yuki, and hoping that one day he might be fortunate
enough to have a tenth of that same passion bestowed on him- that his heart had
momentarily stopped.

Hiro rubhis his eyes, knowing his mind had wandered too far
from his friend�s troubles. �Well I don�t know�� he began, �I think you�re
overreacting. If it�s not Ayeka-chan then I think you�re pretty safe. There�s
no one else I�ve seen in Yuki�s life that can own a bigger part of him than you
do. No one who knows what you�ve gone through together can even begin to doubt
that, especially not you�.�

�I know it�s just�.�

�Just?�

�I don�t understand.�

�Neither do I. Hiro? Do you think its possible that Yuki
loves�?�

The question was left unasked. At that moment there was a
commotion outside the door and Sakano-san burst through, sweat beading on his
brow and dripping onto his shirt collar. K was there too, calmly watching the
producer as he hyperventilated.

The conversation was instantly put aside. There would be no
time for it for a while.

�Ah good you�re both here,� said K, stepping over Sakano�s
limp body. �It�s big new�ve �ve already told Fujisaki-san and I know you two
will be just as excited as he was.�

Both Hiro and Shuichi stared expectantly back at their
manager.

�e goe going to America!�

***********************************

Tohma looked to the clock on the far wall, only mildly
impressed by Shuichi�s forbearance. Realistically he�d expected him almost
fifteen minutes ago. It was only now, (signified by a loud crash in the
distance) the president of NG heard the first indication Shuichi had worked
himself up into such a state so as vent steam over a situation Tohma had known
he would violently protest against.

A grin curved wickedly onto his face long before he became
aware of feeling guilty for it. He�d long since known that power was a
dangerous thing, and his conscience was awake enough to know that exploiting
his power in this manner was more than a little wrong, but there was nothing
else to be done. Yuki knew� and with that knowledge there had to be time for
uninterrupted discussion and understanding. Shuichi would only get in the way.

The door crashed open, its hinges redesigning themselves to
be bend bnd broken out of shape by the force. Shuichi stood in thwly wly opened
doorway, his eyes almost gleaming red under the anger, as his shoulders rose
and fell rapidly. It was an intense and slightly unsettling image to see. If
there was one thing that this boy had it was passion.

�I thought I might see you this morning Shindou-kun. It�s
very exciting news isn�t it?�

Shuichi�s face grew a shade angrier. �You did this on
purpose didn�t you?�

�Bad Luck have generated quite a stir since appearing at
Tokyo-Fest. Our American contacts have been asking me for months to let you go
over there and do a brief tour to see if its worth investing more time and
interest in the �Gravitation� music scene,� replied Tohma, purposefully
avoiding Shuichi�s question. �It�s only three months I know, but who knows? If
you�re a success you could get longer tours in the future. NG�s interest lies
in breaking through into the American market. Mika will be flying over from
London to meet you in New Y�

�And does Mika-cknowknow what you�re doing? you you�re
sending me over there so you can get your claws into Yuki while I�m gone!�

The truth was right in front of his face, and Tohma frowned
at Shuichi�s lack of inhibitions. He was just a child! What did Eiri see in
him?

�This is business. It isn�t personal and I�d appreciate if
you didn�t make it such. Eiri-san�� his voice faltered for a second, �Eiri-san
has several contacts in the States. I�m sure he�ll have no problem getting over
there to see you during that time. Don�t you want to be the best band to come
out of Japan since Nittle Grasper, Shindou-kun?�

�What are you saying? Of course I do! Bad Luck are always
going to be the best! But��

�There are no �buts� Shindou Shuichi. Ths yos your only
chance, do you want to blow it because you�re jealous of a situation between
Eiri and I that doesn�t even exist? Maybe you want to tell Hiroshi and Fujisaki
that?�

�I� I�?�

Tohma smiled, walking forward, and lifting Shuichi�s head to
look him in the eye. �Do what�s right for your friends,� he said softly, all
the time hating the way he was twisting the situation to fit in with his plans.

Letting Shindou�s chin fall again he walked over to the
window, looking depressively out across the cityscape, and the bustle below.
�It�s a great time for Japanese music Shindou-kun,� he said eventually. �For
once there�s a real market for it in the west. NG Productions future is there.
It�s everything I�ve worked for. It should be everything both of us are
working for. Is bad Luck strong enough to be the driving force?�

clasclass=MsoNormal>

He turned to look over his shoulder, watching impatiently to
see what Shuichi�s reaction might be. He was looking to the carpet, but there
wasn�t so much anger in his figure as there had been. It looked like his
countenance had been touched by sadness.

p;

�I won�t let Yuki go without a fight,� he mumbled.

Seguchi dipped his head once in understanding. �It�s how it
should be Shindou-kun. I don�t want to fight you for him. I love Mika. She�s my
wife, that is all there is to the matter. Will you go now? Will go to America
and become a world super star?�

Slowly Shuichi lifted his head, standing tears still in his
eyes. �Yes. I will do as you ask� for
Hiro, Fujisaki� and for you, I will do it.�

Tohma smiled, his stomach cramping while he did so. It was
so hard for him to ignore how much respect Shindou had for him, and he felt
truly horrible for it. �And Shuichi?� he said, stopping the young mans exit.

He wanted to say that he was sorry. That he had never meant
to do him any harm with his feelings of lovr Eir Eiri, that he never planned it
to turn out this way, but the words stuck in his throat. To confirm as much
would be to confirm his heart as well, and he still wasn�t comfortable with
admitting his desire.

�There�ll be a car ready for you first thing in the morning.
Let those you have to know that you�ll be away, and then I will personally see
you off from the airport.�

Shuichi nodded once, emotion still very evidently flushed in
his cheeks, before he turned and abandoned the office.

Once he was sure that Shuichi had gone, all the energy
evaporated from Tohma�s limbs, and he sunk to the floor. What was he turning
into? He was lying to all those people closest to him, and he couldn�t find a
way out of the situation. He just wanted to be with Eiri, more than anything.

And Mika, his conscience screamed.

�I love her too,� he sighed. �What am I going to do?�

***********************************

AN � Poor Tohma! Even as I�m writing for him I don�t know if
I want to strangle the life from his body or glomp him to death. *Chuckles* Until
next time�.
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Undying