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Distortion	By : Macx Category: +. to F > DNAngel Views: 3261 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DNAngel, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Distortion 2

Satoshi held out three weeks before he started to fall apart. He hadn�t
exactly felt Krad�s presence inside of him but the sheer knowledge was
enough. Hikari Satoshi returned to the only behavior he knew from the past,
from his Hiwatari past, the only behavior that meant even a bit safety
� he started to self-destruct. Appetite was a foreign word for him since
Daisuke had left, and it started to show. His blood-pressure went down
in reaction, and most of the time Satoshi felt dizzy or even nauseous with
occasional stomach cramps.

Nights were an utterly different matter � if exhaustion took over and
Satoshi managed to slip into sleep it would be an uneasy one, making him
gasp when he woke up from dreams or toss and turn restlessly. In one word
� he was becoming a mess.

Daisuke called every day at the same time, so that was something solid,
too, but Satoshi found it more and more difficult to pretend he was all
right at his lover�s worried questions. All he wanted was to cry into the
phone, beg his lover to come back, to hold him and tell him everything
would be all right, but he never did.

Krad didn�t make an appearance, nor did he speak to Satoshi, though
the young man could feel him move in the background. He pushed the demon
away.

He didn't want to hear him. He didn't want to sem. Hm. He didn't want�
him!

His visits to the Niwas were cut short. He claimed a load of work,
though that was only partially true. He had inherited his parents' money,
now that his stepfather had died, his mother being dead already, and he
had put it to good use. There had been a lot of money; a lot. The Hikari
came from a wealthy background. Now that money worked for him and he worked
on the same project as the Niwas � finding dangerous art work, sealing
it, removing it from the public until it was safe.

Still, even work only distracted him so much. Satoshi had too much
time to think. He knew he wasn't doing himself any favors, starving himself,
weakening his body and with it his mind. But he hung on, he did what he
had done as a child.

After five weeks he had become a wreck and he didn�t leave the apartment
any more did did what little he could by electronic means and had even
more time on his hands to think.

Daisuke was gone. His only place of warmth and life. What he had been
left with was the cold, ruthless creature inside him, just waiting to break
free.

Krad would strike soon.

He knew it.

He just did�

Satoshi shivered though he knew it wasn�t cold. Yet he felt cold,
utterly cold. A part of his mind realized that this was mostly because
the lack of food and sleep, but yet Satoshi thought the cause in his lover�s
absence � and his Nemesis� presence. Curling deeper into the blanket didn�t
bring any warmth, and closing his eyes didn�t bring any rest. Slowly he
slid into a restless slumber.
*
Satoshi woke up with a suppressed yell, reaching out to the other side
of the bed only to find it empty and cold. Realization set in, ruthless
and cruel � he was alone, alone with the demon in his head whose existence
he abhorred. He couldn�t help the hot tears that sprung from his eyes.

Oh Daisuke, please come back �

Swaying ithe the bathroom Satoshi intended to slap some cold water
into his face. He almost made it. Glancing into the mirror he saw his own
face reflected but when he needed to blink some water out of his eyes the
image blurred. Malicious golden eyes stared back at him, an angelic face
with a cruel smirk�

'You're mine. You're my everything.'

�No! NO!�

Satoshi threw back his arms and slammed his fists into the mirror several
times, sending it flying in shards. Skin broke open under the assault as
sharp bits and pieces bit into the soft flesh. Satoshi stumbled away from
the partially broken mirror, wide eyes staring at the spider-web of breaks
forming in those areas that hadn�t crumbled down. Then his eyes fell on
his hands.

Blood was dripping down onto the floor. Red droplets stained the formerly
clean tiles, soaking into the small carpet. He blinked, held up his hands,
and gazed at the cuts with an almost morbid fascination.

It didn�t hurt.

There was just a mess of red, intermingling with silvery shards. Light
reflected off the broken pieces, making them sparkle. Everywhere around
him the sparkles caught his eyes. More blood flowed from the wounds and
Satoshi picked at the shards, amazed that he felt no pain. Actually, he
felt like he was floating... in a dream... not really here.

Blue, dazed eyes rose and met his mirror image. It was wavering, as
if he was looking through a haze, and to his rising amazement he saw tears
slide down the pale cheeks of the mirror image.

Until the face suddenly changed, became different, with long, blond
hair and feline, golden eyes. Cold and unfeeling, possessive and cruel.
Beautiful, ethereal, so angelic... ao evo evil, so demonic, so destructive.

'Mine,� a voice whispered, echoing in the small bathroom. 'No one w eve ever have you but me.�

No! he protested. No, no, no.... NO!

His fingers closed around a shard that had fallen inte sie sink, the
sharp edges digging into the already abused and raw flesh, but the pain
was distant, almost not his own.

Not yours, he whispered without moving his lips. Never yours. I don�t
belong to you. I never will!

"Never!� he hissed.

And he raised the shard to his throat.
*
Krad had jolted in alarm the moment Satoshi�s fists had collided with
the mirror, cutting himself so mercilessly and apparently without the intent
to stop. In growing horror he watched his host stare at himself in the
mirror, his mind strangely blank except for the rising desperation.

And then he reached for the broken piece of mirror glass, intent to
cut his throat.

Krad surged forward, snatching control of the human host and stopping
the self-destructive, the suicidal move.

//NO!// he commanded, seizing that hand and guiding it away from the
vulnerable throat.

Satoshi gave a sob of fear and desperation, fighting him, his mind
flailing at him.

//No// he breathed. //No, Satoshi, please don't. No�.//

His host moaned softly, striking out weakly, barely strong enough to
even scratch the surface of Krad's mind. The demon caught the strike and
let it dissolve.

//No. Don't, Satoshi. Please...//

Satoshi crumbled onto the ground, breath hitching briefly, then sliding
off into unconsciousness. Krad sat back for a moment, torn between two
possibilities and taking the hopefully best one.

He separated himself from his human host as he had done just once before,
even if not by choice. He would have no chance to help Satoshi by taking
over his form. The damage to the body was too extensive and even a brief
take-over would have no effects. So he knelt down next to the young man
and took in the damage, the bleeding palms and knuckles, the smear of blood
against his throat.

"Oh, Satoshi...� he whispered sadly.

Cradling the tall but way too light form against him, Krad walked into
the bedroom and carefully lay down the young man. He proceeded to thoroughly
clean the cut hands of the glass and blood, then bandaged them lightly.
He did the same for the cut on the throat, which was long, but shallow.
Krad knew about the first aid procedures from his host, who had a license.
It was so easy to access memories if he wanted to and this time he was
glad he had done so. Finally Krad removed the bloody shirt and drew a blanket
over Satoshi who hadn't woken throughout the procedure.

The demon looked down at his host, the very soul he was bound to, and
a sad smile creased his lips. He was the reason for the self-destructive
behavior. He had driven Satoshi to such extremes because deep down inside
that grown-up body, the child still feared him. He had left scars on his
psyche.

"I never wanted that," he murmured and brushed back long strands of
light brown hair. "I only wanted you to be mine. You were all I could have,
all the warmth I could ever find�"

And he had lost it. He had lost Satoshi and everything associated with
that perception of freedom.

"I'll protect you. You're mine," he murmured, never stopping his caress.
"And you're everything to Daisuke�"

It was the first time he admitted to himself that he shared Satoshi,
but Daisuke was no rival. He loved this young man in a different way, held
a different part of him inside his soul.

"I won't let you hurt yourself. I need you. Daisuke needs you."

They each needed Satoshi whole and healthy and complete� and Krad would
do everything in his powers to fulfill his promise.
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Distortion