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Full Circle	By : drunkenmuses Category: +S to Z > s-CRY-ed/Scryed Views: 6023 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own s-CRY-ed, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Slip
- 2-Interrupt
- 3-Denial
- 4-Help
- 5-Presence
- 6-Friend
- 7-Return
- 8-Awake
- 9-Defiance
- 1
- 2
- 3
Title: Full Circle

Author: Drunken Muses (Battlejoy and Brightdreamer)

Genre: Romance/Angst/AU

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Some secrets have a way of coming back to haunt those who keep them. Memories are shared willingly and unwillingly, with drastic consequences. Ryuhou/Kazuma, Kazuma/Shiirice, Ryuhou/Shiirice, and (eventually) Kazuma/Shiirice/Ryuhou.

Disclaimer: We don't own s-CRY-ed. Wish we did. Have no money, don't sue us!

Note from the Muses: We heavily revised this chapter, especially the dialogue, to make it less sap-tastic. Enjoy!

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Chapter 2: Interrupt

Ryuhou stood still, numb with the faint notion that if let himself feel the churning emotions in his chest, he wouldn't be able to hold back the floodgates on them or the contents of his stomach. Kazuma stared off into the distance, not able to look at Ryuhou until he had rid himself of the last dregs of confession. "I asked her to leave with me. I didn't want to go back to being all alone and I thought she wanted it too." He continued with a smirk that belied the hitch in his voice. "She told me that she would let me go if I forgot about her slip-up by �fraternizing with the enemy.'"

Ryuhou nodded numbly, his mind still trying to place the time for this encounter. He remembered Shiirice coming back from the mission a bit scratched and bruised... why hadn't he noticed anything else different about her? Oh, that's right, he had been too obsessed with finding Kazuma... he hadn't even seen the lie in her eyes when she'd said she hadn't found him. "S-so that was the only time?" Ryuhou let a thin trickle of hope in his voice, which he had to admit nearly drained any reverse he had.

Kazuma stared at his feet. "No. I went to HOLY. Remember?"

Ryuhou swallowed hard. "You didn't... you couldn't have..."

"The very first night I was there." Kazuma's good eye misted and he took a second to wipe at it. "It really killed me to see her. You might have not noticed but every other time I saw her she was on your arm. Whoever was in charge... I guess it was that Unkei guy, kept pushing Mimori at me. I don't know why. If he could have really read my mind, he would have known what I wanted."

Ryuhou vaguely remembered Unkei skulking asking a lot of questions about his confrontations with Kazuma. He always found it odd that the subject would occasionally steer toward Shiirice's encounters with him. Now, he stood in stunned silence, feeling his head begin to throb as Kazuma began to reminisce about his second rendevous with the girl...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a good morning. Not because he had a roof over his head, or he was lying on a bed not made with straw or with springs poking out, or the smooth feeling of crisp white sheet sliding over his body. It was because he was currently having the joy of gently marveling at the smooth, soft contours of Shiirice's stomach that swelled out to the curve of her hips.

Shiirice shifted, muttering half-groggily, "Your hands are so rough."

"Well it would be creepy if I had smooth girly hands," Kazuma joked adding to himself, Like Ryuhou's probably are. But he wasn't unschooled enough to not know that you did not bring up another guy when you were with a girl. Plus he already knew she somehow took it personally when he said something disparaging about her superior.

"I didn't say that was a bad thing," Shiirice brought one of his hands up to rub against her face before pressing it into the valley between her breasts.

Kazuma smiled against the smooth skin of her neck, gently stroking the soft mounds beneath his fingertips. "I thought so. You like me a little rough, huh?" Sliding over to cover her body more fully, he nuzzled behind her ear, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair. Already excited at the prospect of enjoying her again this morning, Kazuma was shocked to hear himself saying, "Come back with me..." But... then again it made perfect sense to Kazuma, the more he thought about it. Last night had proven that the time in the cave wasn't a fluke. She wanted him and he wanted to give himself over to her.

Shiirice sighed, the movement pressing her chest against Kazuma's. "You know I can't." She stroked her fingers through his hair. "Why won't you just stay here? Don't you like it here?"

Kazuma shook his head. "You know I'm not cut out for HOLY. No matter how nice it is here, I know I won't be here long. There are things..." he blinked, feeling a memory try to surface, but it was quickly drowned by the sensation of Shiirice hooking her legs over his hips.

"Is this a new HOLY recruiting program?" Kazuma joked, once again going back to kissing and petting her.

Shiirice giggled, running her hands over his back. "Hmm, maybe..." She had just reached down to stroke him between their bodies when the door buzzer sounded, startling them both.

Kazuma raised his head, glaring at the door. "Who the hell...?"

"Shiirice! Open up!" Ryuhou's voice crackled through the intercom. "We have a situation!"

"Shit!" Shiirice hissed, pushing Kazuma off her and diving for her scattered clothes. "You've gotta get out... er... hide!" She quickly tugged on the undershirt and panties she had discarded the previous night. "Hurry!" Kazuma looked around but the closet was only a recessed room without a door, and the bathroom was too far... "The bed!" Shiirice hissed. Kazuma didn't understand her for a second, in panic, then hit the floor and scooted under the bed.

Ryuhou's voice came through again, sounding annoyed. "Shiirice! Are you in there?" A muffled beeping sound was heard, then the door slid open to reveal the flustered-looking boy standing outside.

"Oh, Ryuhou!" Shiirice hurried over him.

"Sorry for barging in on you," Ryuhou said in an irritated tone as he entered the room. "But you gave me the code when you said I could come to your room any time, right?"

"Um, yes," Shiirice stammered. "What seems to be the problem?"

From underneath the bed, Kazuma could only see a pair of immaculately polished black boots pacing the floor, while Shiirice's petite bare feet shifted uneasily. Oh, so he can come to her room any time, huh? He glared at Ryuhou's feet, as if he could psychically will the man to leave.

Ryuhou walked past Shiirice to tiredly sit on her bed. "I've been up all morning looking for that Kazuma-person. He wasn't in his room this morning, and no one seems to know where he's gone."

Shiirice coughed nervously. "Oh... really?"

Ryuhou leaned back onto the bed. Why was this one of the few places in the world he felt at peace? "Really. I told the commander that he was a spy. He's probably either out sabotaging or mapping out the complex." Ryuhou glared up into the ceiling. He shouldn't be so worked up. Kazuma was no longer in his jurisdiction but he still felt he had to find him.

"Well, maybe he got lost. The complex is pretty big and there are a lot of lost recruits every year." Shiirice supplied nervously.

Ryuhou regarded his subordinate like she had grown a third head. Shiirice sounding generous about 'the native piece of trash Ryuhou shouldn't waste his time on' was pretty suspicious. "Shiirice, are you okay? You look a little flushed."

"I do?"

"Yeah, your cheeks are all glowing. Did you just get back from the gym?" Under the bed, Kazuma snickered to himself, knowing exactly who put the "glow" into Shiirice's cheeks. And what girl goes to the gym in only a t-shirt and panties? Ryuhou really was dense.

Shiirice made a choking sound. "Uh... yeah, I did. I was about to get in the shower, actually." There was a long, silent pause. "So... um, did you need anything else?"

That problem solved to Ryuhou, he returned his mind back to the real trouble. "He's probably over in the eastern complex. It's heavily fortified and an obvious target."

"So why don't you head over there and I'll-eep!" Shiirice made the mistake of stepping too close to the bed. Kazuma couldn't help but impishly run his calloused fingertips over the back of her ankles. A nearly stomped hand was his reward. Ryuhou looked up, startled. "Foot cramp." Shiirice supplied lamely.

Ryuhou looked mildly concerned. "You probably overdid it on the exercise. Might want to go to the personal trainers if it doesn't get better."

Kazuma had to cover his mouth with his hands to keep from laughing aloud. Well, we would have been 'overdoing it' even more if YOU hadn't showed up, ya damn prick. He couldn't help but be amused by Ryuhou's cluelessness. No wonder the guy never caught him.... he was apparently too oblivious to even take advantage of the fact that he was alone in a room with a half-naked girl.

After another pause, Ryuhou testily asked. "Well?"

"Well what?" Shiirice jumped.

"Aren't you going to take your shower so we can get going?"

"Oh! Yeah... um..." Shiirice headed for the bathroom. "I'll be right out."

Kazuma briefly considered just blasting a hole through the bed and straight up Ryuhou's ass. How dare he just barge in there and order Shiirice around?

Ryuhou lounged on Shiirice's bed waiting for his subordinate get out of the shower. Dangling his feet over the edge, he had no idea exactly how close he really was to his prey. "Geez, Shiirice, look at all the clothes you leave strewn about your room." Ryuhou angrily muttered to himself, as he looked at all the clothing (some of which were obviously too big.) "You weren't half this messy when we roomed together."

Kazuma stewed angrily, overhearing the low words. Exactly what was the relationship between these two? He felt the bed shift as Ryuhou stood up impatiently. "I'm going to look for him," the older officer called toward the bathroom. "Come find me when you're ready."

Celebrating internally, Kazuma forced himself to wait until the door was fully closed before sneaking out of his hiding spot and to the bathroom. Quietly, he slipped into the shower behind Shiirice, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Mmm, where were we?" he murmured, licking a droplet of water off her shoulder. "I thought that guy would never leave." He didn't know which was hotter, the warm stream of water or the feel of her skin.

To his surprise, Shiirice shrugged him off, leaning forward to grab the shampoo and quickly scrub a dollop of it through her short hair. "I'm almost done, you'll get your turn in a minute," she said snippily, trying to quickly rinse the shampoo out.

Frowning slightly, Kazuma leaned into her again, this time sliding one hand over her slickened breasts. "I'm in no hurry."

Shiirice once again nudged him out of the way, shaking water out of her eyes. "But I am. I don't want to leave Ryuhou waiting. He gets impatient."

Kazuma tried again. "He can wait..."

"Look, I'm not in the mood anymore," Shiirice sighed, deciding to go without conditioner and stepping out to retrieve her towel.

Annoyed, Kazuma quickly reached down and turned off the shower. He followed Shiirice into the bedroom, unmindful of the dripping tracks he was leaving on the floor. Pausing for a moment, he enjoyed the view as the girl began to hastily dress. "Was it something I did?"

Shiirice shook her head distractedly, running a brush through her hair. "No, but we've wasted enough time already. I'll see you at training." She quickly tugged her shoes on and turned toward the door. "Feel free to use the shower. I'll keep everyone away from here until you're out. I'd get to the barracks and make up some excuse if I were you." Shiirice didn't even give a second look back on her way out the door.

Kazuma was crushed. "That...that BASTARD!" He couldn't do anything else but curse Ryuhou. Kazuma was ready to give her his whole being, but Shiirice came running at the slightest whim of that pretentious asshole.

Sitting down on the bed, Kazuma rested his head in his hands. He didn't want it to be this way, but he was beginning to figure out his place in this weird relationship. Shiirice obviously loved Ryuhou... though Kazuma had no idea why. And it was also obvious that Ryuhou was dense as a brick about her feelings. She needed someone to give her the emotional and physical release she needed�and that's where Kazuma came in. The sex the night before had been incredible: intense, rough, and emotional, but something was missing. He knew now what it was... he might have her body, but Ryuhou had her heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It�it was real awkward after that. She was so cold when I bumped into her in the hallways. And not with that little secret smile she has when she pretended to be cruel the first day. I tried to get with her a couple times more but she seemed so hesitant and distant." Kazuma's voice croaked, hoarse with emotion. Then his mouth quirked in a wistful smile at the memories. "But I'll never forget that one night. There was this way that she bit my lip. I can't describe how sexy it was but... Ryuhou? Are you all right?"

Ryuhou heard the voice whispering at the edges of his head like buzzing as the light dimmed and all went black. Kazuma lunged forward as Ryuhou fell, catching him before he hit the ground. "Ryuhou? Ryuhou! Dammit..." He cradled the other man in his arms, feeling an irrational fear grip his chest. "Was it something I said?"

************

Ryuhou awoke groggy with his head ringing as if there was the whirling of pulsating machine in the background full of angry bees. He didn't want to listen to the words, insistent and begging, but they continued and merged with a deeper register. "Ryuhou, what happened?" Kazuma's voice felt panicked, but Ryuhou didn't care; he was too busy shifting his body to the side and retching.

Kazuma flinched, but continued to hold and support Ryuhou as the other gagged and heaved. "Idiot, why didn't you tell me you were sick?" he chided, feeling his own stomach twist in sympathy. "What's wrong? How long have you been feeling bad?"

Ryuhou groaned and lifted his head. "Kazuma..."

"Yes? What is it?"

"Shut up..." Spitting once more, Ryuhou regained control of his churning stomach and stood up shakily.

Kazuma followed instantly, reaching his hand out to support him. "Are you all right?"

With his the contents of his stomach not weighing him down and drowning his head Ryuhou once again remembered what he had been doing before he collapsed. "You bastard!" Throwing his weight and his whole being behind it, he landed one good blow against the frozen-with-worry Kazuma. Both of them were knocked to the ground by the force and Ryuhou found he didn't have the strength to do what he truly wanted to: beat the ever-loving shit out of Kazuma for all that he ever did to him.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" Ryuhou shook with the energy needed to try to keep his bearings straight and the righteous fury he felt. "Any time in all the weeks we been together! Before you and I... Kazuma, why?"

Kazuma scooted back, rubbing his jaw. "Ryuhou, come on. I couldn't. It wasn't the time and I promised her. I-I really cared about her, Ryuhou."

"And what about me?" Ryuhou screamed. His own words sounded hollow and half drowned out by the ringing in his head. He didn't even know what he meant. Did he mean about him and Shiirice or him and Kazuma? He didn't care. He just wanted an answer from the man in front of him; the man who had stolen his direction of what his life should be from the moment he first met him. "I thought ... why would you keep something like this from me? Especially knowing how I felt about her... and then you... with me..." Ryuhou put his hand to his mouth, feeling as though he might be sick again.

Kazuma somehow managed to look both angry and concerned at the same time. "Dammit, I�I thought it would be better this way." He stared hard at Ryuhou. "Um... do I need to get you some water or something?"

"We're in the middle of the fucking desert, Kazuma! You dragged us out here!" Ryuhou shook himself as he pulled to his feet; then the world around decided it would spin and dive-bomb like a child's toy. Ryuhou suddenly felt Kazuma's arms around him, holding him and pulling him back from the opening darkness clouding his vision. "How could you?"

A hint of pain flickered across Kazuma's eyes before determination set in. "We'll talk about this later. You're sick, just shut up and get well, otherwise I'll have no one to fight." With some difficulty, he gathered Ryuhou into his arms, managing to pick the taller man up with a combination of strength of will and body. "Maybe I should even get you to a doctor or something."

"I don't need a doctor," Ryuhou tried to talk despite the bile bubbling up his esophagus. "I need the damn truth for once!"

Kazuma clenched his jaw, stubbornly continuing to walk back to their "home." "I told you the truth. That's all there was to it. I- I..." Kazuma shook his head not quite sure how he felt about Shiirice. Or Ryuhou for that matter. He just knew that he wouldn't take back and apologize for any time spent with either of them. "I am sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but that's it." He clutched Ryuhou's too-warm body tighter to him. "Now just shut up. I'm going to get you well."

"I'm fine," Ryuhou insisted. His sudden illness was secondary to the more pressing issue. "You couldn't have loved her." He wouldn't let that sink in, the thought scrambling his insides. Why was the idea so upsetting? "Tell me the truth."

"How the hell do you know how I feel?!" Kazuma snapped as he felt Ryuhou's words hit him deeper than they should. "I did... I really cared for her.... I think. She needed me and I was a lonely virgin and she was a woman." Kazuma wondered how weak and small Ryuhou suddenly seemed even if it was impossible. "There isn't much to say really."

Ryuhou tried to cling to his anger, even as he let himself relax slightly in Kazuma's arms. "And the reason why you slept with me?"

Kazuma's insistent voice turned deathly quiet. "Ryuhou, we both were hiding from her ghost and you know it."

Ryuhou was momentarily mentally floored by Kazuma's observation. But he didn't want to believe it. He shook his head, then swallowed as the movement sent a fresh wave of nausea coursing through his body. "No. You... you took advantage of me. I wasn't hiding from anything. I just... wasn't sure about some things, and I thought you gave me the answers." He found himself leaning his head against Kazuma's shoulder despite himself, closing his eyes against the dizziness.

"Do you really believe that?" Kazuma's tone held bitterness. "You've truly found peace with Shiirice's memory? You really are lucky then..." The last sentiment was nearly in a hesitant croak.

Ryuhou opened his mouth to give an angry reply but his words died as he felt Kazuma's words ring in his core. He had rid himself anything that reminded her of his bouncy best friend, as if he was trying to erase the fact that her silhouette was a gaping hole in his life that he had filled with Kazuma's confusing presence.

"Then again, she loved you." Kazuma made his way to their camp. "You weren't the 'native' whose name she could barely remember."

"She wasn't a bad person. She had the hugest heart." Ryuhou said wretchedly, reaching out to help push the tent flap aside.

"I know. It's just I never had any of it." Kazuma tried his best but still dumped Ryuhou roughly on their bedding. "You shouldn't ever feel left out that you never got to sleep with her. We both know that wasn't what she was about."

Ryuhou nodded weakly, keeping his eyes closed against the invading pain. "We... both had different sides of her..." He could barely think past the buzzing in his head. "I had her love and you had her lust." That wasn't quite right. Somehow the lines had to have been blurred between such black and white terms. She wasn't like that.

"I guess." Kazuma bit his bottom lip steadying himself before noticing Ryuhou's dazed expression. "Are you all right?" The concern was evident in his uneasy voice.

Ryuhou blinked and focused his gaze on the other as the words spilled out of his mouth like pulled cotton. "I'm... cold."

Kazuma swallowed against the lump in his throat. "That's easy enough to fix," he whispered, curling against Ryuhou's back and wrapping his arms around his shivering form.

Ryuhou let the world hold for a second and ignored the nagging bit of internal dialogue that said he had been ignoring the world for months. All that mattered was the warmth around him. He let his eyes slip closed again, hoping that morning would bring relief from both mental and physical pain.

Kazuma stroked Ryuhou's hair lightly as the other man drifted off into sleep or unconsciousness. He was more worried than he cared to admit. On one hand, his companion could just have a flu or food poisoning... God knows, with all the weird stuff they had to eat out here, it could have been anything. But on the other, he couldn't help but be afraid of the possibility that there was something really wrong, and that he might have to lose yet another in his life. He didn't know if he could go through that again.

Taking a deep breath, Kazuma willed himself not to worry. This was probably nothing. Ryuhou would recover quickly, and everything would go back to the semblance of normalcy in which they lived. Sensing that Ryuhou was fully asleep, he eased away from him, intent on going to fetch some water to cool the man's fever. As quietly as possible, he slipped out of the tent and stretched his stiff muscles.

Looked up at the night sky, Kazuma tried to let go of the heaviness of the situation, instead focusing on the lifted weight off his conscience. This was a start, and he hoped they would both eventually come to accept what had happened. He didn't know where she was, but he hoped she approved of what he was doing. "Don't worry, Shiirice. I'm taking care of him."

To Be Continued...
- 1
- 2
- 3
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