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Letting Go	By : sugahcat Category: +S to Z > Tsubasa Views: 6677 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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And now the NC-17. Yey, smut!

Disclaimer:Yeah, yeah, it's CLAMPs and not mine :P

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Sharing

sugahcat

Today had been spent fruitlessly searching for Sakura's feather and now we were back at the pet shop where we'd be staying the night.

From the corner of my eye I see Syaoran looking at Sakura with a tinge of guilt in his eyes but it was quickly replaced by determination. Today was only our second day in this world, after all. He'd get her feather back. I feel a slight twinge of guilt that I hadn't put my all into finding Sakura's feather today. I'd been walking too close to Fai for that. After his confession and his kisses this morning there was no way my hormones were going to leave me alone until they got what they wanted. I don't think I'd ever felt quite this horny in my damned life and what makes it all so much worse is that I don't know if Fai's ready yet. He's been hurt so much and so badly by this Ashura that there was no way he would take sleeping with someone lightly. At the same time, I can't help but wonder if some tender, gentle pleasure might not go a way to helping him heal.

Sighing I look over at where Fai sits, a gorgeous tortoiseshell cat on his lap. I wonder why Fai looks so embarassed about this fact. Our host, the owner of the pet shop goes over to talk to him, looking delighted about something and offers him some cake. I feel a slight wave of jealousy wash over me and am gratified to see Fai wave the cake away and leave the room.

Standing, I follow him. We need to talk.

As I enter the room we're sharing, I see Fai laid on his bed, frowning.

"Hey," I say, sitting on Fai's bed and looking down at him "You okay?"

The beginings of a fake smile curve the magician's lips so I reach over and press a finger against them.

"No. Don't smile at me unless that's how you feel. Not after this morning."

We look at each other for long moment, then Fai sits up, resting against the wall.

"I'm sorry, I've just... been thinking."

"You wanna talk about it?"

There was a long, long pause and suddenly Fai looked very tired. "Will you hold me?"

I reach out and take the suddenly fragile-looking Fai into my arms, which wrap around him easily. His own long arms reach around me and hold me tightly. I want to ask again what the matter is but I force myself to stop being impatient. He'll tell me in his own time. Besides, it's nice holding him like this. I rest my head in soft, pale hair that smells of vanilla and honey and feel his back moving slightly raggedly with his breathing.

"Kuro-san?" He says suddenly, raising his head. His eyes are wide and he looks a little frightened and Gods help me if it doesn't make him look even sexier.

"Yeah?"

"Will you... will you sleep with me?"

The question is like a smack in the face and I stare at him.

"I would say 'make love' but I'm not sure if you love me, but..." His voice drops to a hoarse whisper. "I'd very much like it if you'd fuck me tonight."

Suddenly all the blood in my body seems to have rushed to my cock because I'm got a raging hard-on and my head's swimming. Swallowing thickly I look down at him. He's completely serious and I can't help but peek and notice the bulge in his trousers.

"You sure?"

"I've been wondering about it all day. Because I want you so much... and I think I'm ready."

'Think'? It's hardly reassuring and I have no idea what I'm going to do if we start fooling around and he freaks out. But I want him more than I've ever wanted anyone, and if this can help him get over that Ashura bastard then it's all the more reason to do it.

"Alright," I say and grin, wolf-like. It makes Fai chuckle. "What?"

"That smile, then... It makes you look like a bad doggy." Instead of the reminder of the stupid name he gave me in Outo Country pissing me off, it makes me shudder and he gives me a very sexy, very feline smile. In one quick movement I knock him down to the bed and am astride him.

"I am a bad doggy," I tell him. "But I'm oh, so very good as well." I kiss him deeply and he responds with desperation, his delicisouly hot tongue sliding into my mouth and stroking mine. I shudder with pleasure and lean closer to him, not able to stop a moan of as the movement pushes my erection against his. Suddenly our clothes are very much in the way but I force myself to take this slowly. This isn't just about carnal gratification - though it very much is - because I want to heal him. I need to take things slowly. I pull back, breathing hard and look down at Fai whose eyes are filled with lust. "If I do anything you don't like or you want me to stop, tell me. Alright?" He pauses a moment and I push it because this is so very important and because of what's happened to him in the past I'm not sure he realises it. "Seriously, Fai. If that happens, you need to tell me."

"...Alright."

"And," I add, grinning. "If I do anything you really like, tell me then, too." I kiss him again and revel in being on top of him, our bodies so close, the heat of his hardness through the material is so very maddening that it's hard not to rip his clothes off. Instead I kiss him some more then move down to nibbling his neck. I like to draw blood and taste it but I won't do that to Fai, not yet, erotic as I find it. With him it must be about gentleness and I think even though I'm going to find it difficult I'll like it, too.

My hands start to work on the clasps that hold his top together. They slide apart under my finger and I slip the top from his shoulders. He's not as skinny as he looks. Though I can see his ribs I can't count them and under that lovely pale skin there's hard, lean muscle. The skin's mostly unblemished though there's a shiny scar that looks like a burn on his hip and a thin, blade-made scar across the ribs on his right side. I kiss both of them before returning to lips that are hungry for more. He's a very good kisser and he has the most perfect mouth - hot and moist and with a very talented tongue. I shudder as I think where else he might be have skill with that tongue. Grinding my crotch into his I hear him moan into my mouth.

"Kurogane," he whispers before pulling me back to his lips. I could drown in his kisses but I want to pleasure him. Pulling back I grin and start to move down his body again. Kissing and nipping at his long, slender neck I force my hands to stay where they are on the bed rather than reaching down to start pulling at his trousers.

My mouth finds pert nipples and he sighs as I suckle them, moans as I bite softly.

"That's nice," he sighs and sounds suprised. I glance up at his for a second and he shrugs softly. "Ashura-ou never did anything like this to me. He just... used me for what he wanted and left."

While on the one hand here and now is when I really don't want to hear about his King, at the same time I'm amazed at how little Ashura gave him. Then a thought comes to me and I smile.

"You mean you've never had a blow job?"

Fai blushes crimson and shakes his head. I grin. From what other partners have told me, my mouth is my best asset in the bedroom. Quite a few told me that I gave them the best oral sex they'd ever had.

"Then," I say as I snake up his body, planting kisses, "You're in for a treat." He gives a nervous smile. "Don't worry. I won't hurt you. I'd never hurt you."

He looks at me with serious sky-coloured eyes and I know he trusts me.

"Just lay back and let me work. You'll like it, I promise."

I kiss my way back down his body before negotiating with the tie on his pants. Thankfully the outfits in this world are a simple affair and he's naked beneath me in seconds. For a moment I can only stare at his bare body. He's so very beautiful. Everything about him is long and slender and pale and he's mostly free of hair. Only a small, tidy area of dark blond pubic hair surrounds a pert, full sac and a cock that's as lond and slender as the rest of him. I lick my lips in anticipation.

"Damn, you're gorgeous."

He smiles at me, unashamed in his nakedness. "Thank you," he replies and shifts slightly on the bed. I watch as hard muscle moves under the pale skin and for a moment I can only stare at him. Then _I_ move, shifting my cock against the fabric of my trousers and I'm all too aware of why I'm here. Smiling, I lower my head.

An inch away from him, I can feel the delicious heat radiating from his hardness. I smell him, too - flowery soap from a long bath earlier but under that is his scent, a masculine musk with vanilla undertones. He smells simply wonderful and I can't wait to taste him. Darting my tongue out to touch hot, hard flesh I hear him gasp. Grinning I apply a long, slow lick, hilt to head and he moans deeply. I lick every inch of him, tasting the unique flavour of Fai D. Flowright, a little clear precum tasting deliciously salty. Glancing up at him before continuing I smile. His eyes are half-closed and filled with wonder.

"Like it so far?"

"Yessss," he hisses between ragged breaths and I laugh before returning to my task. I lick him again a few times then wrap my lips around the leaking head of his cock. He gasps again and I swallow him whole. He's pretty long but I have no problem deep-throating him - it's a talent of mine. A hand moves up to caress his balls as I start to move, my lips moving back to the tip before thrusting down again and taking him into my throat. His hips buck, slamming me in the back of the throat and I feel my own hardness increasing. He's loving this. His hands find my back and as I move faster his nails dig into my flesh, scraping skin.

"Aaaaah... yes," he moans, and I decide I want him to come in my mouth. I want to taste him and since it's his first blow job I want to give him my all. I work furiously, Fai's sighes and moans of 'yes, yes' urging me on. And then he can't speak anymore, can only gasp and then cry out as he gushes into my mouth. Luxoriously sticky liquid tastes saltly as I swallow it down and there's a lot of it. I'm pleased because it tastes wonderful and it's all for me. When I've swallowed every last drop he can produce I crawl up the bed to hold him. He's shaking and there's tears in his eyes. Before I can get too alarmed at that he grabs me and pulls me into a tight embrace.

"Thank you so much," he sobs. "Th-that was wonderful. I've ne-never f-felt like that before."

"So why're you crying?" I ask, confused and worried. It's a couple of minutes before he gets enough of a grip to tell me.

"Because you did all of that for me. You wanted to make me feel good."

"Damn right I did. But don't get me wrong. I liked it too."

"Yes," Fai sighes. "I always liked doing it." I raise an eyebrow and he shrugs. "I did." He looks at me again for a long moment and gives a tremulous smile. "Thank you, as well for holding me now. Ashura never held me after he... got his pleasure."

I push down sudden fury and just hold him for a while longer and that has a way of calming me down that I've never known before. He stirs and looks at me for a long time. I don't know what he's looking for so I just gaze back, letting him see how happy I am to be beside him. He reaches a slender hand to stroke my cheek.

"You're beautiful, Kurogane-san," he sighs and runs his hand through my hair. "And your eyes... are wonderful." I blink. No-one's ever liked my eyes. They usually creep people out. He kisses me, softly at first but it's not long before it becomes deeper again. My hard-on hadn't waned but it's letting itself be known more now. As I shift positions it pushes into the flesh of Fai's thigh, making him laugh. "We have to do something about that," he says and I shake my head.

"It's okay, you don't have to-" He presses a finger to my lips.

"I want to. I told you, I like it. Besides. I want us to be completely equal. Everytime I take from you, I want to give just as much in return and vice versa." I can't argue with that so I just watch as carefully removes my top and folds it neatly before laying it on the floor. The reminder of how he's been used returns to me and I almost stop him but don't. If he needs to do this to get over everything, then so be it. I'd do most anything to help him so I should just be happy that one of the ways in which I can help him is so pleasurable.

He looks down at me and frowns. His pale hand is laid on my stomach, which is tan in comparison and far stronger-looking. He is gazing at the hand.

"Fai...?"

Blue eyes snap up to mine and he catches himself nearly fake-smiling again.

"I... I'm just..." He pauses and frowns. "I'm sorry, Kurogane-san." His use of honourific annoys me - oh, the irony. "I don't mean to compare you, but... I can't help it."

"This King Ashura looks like the one we met in Shurano Country?" He shrugs.

"A little. My - Ashura-ou from Celes was less feminine. But they look a little alike."

"Then I look nothing like him, do I?" It's not exactly a happy statement on my part. I know what I am - I'm overly tall with weird eyes and untidy hair and I have what sometimes seems a permanant scowl. Ashura-ou was tall and slender and beautiful and nothing if not graceful.

"No." Fai says after a moment, then smiles softly. "You're much more beautiful." I stare at him but there's nothing fake in that smile. He means it. He really does think I'm beautiful and I adore him to pieces for it. I end up grinning myself. He leans forward to kiss my lips, softly, so softly. "And I think you'll taste better, too." A shudder runs down my back and he starts to move down my body. He's very focused in what he's doing and as he slides my trousers from me he folds them up too - I think it must be subconcious. He takes a moment to gaze down at me and I feel a tinge of proudness as he smiles with desire in his eyes. I know I have a good body and I've worked hard to get it. Hard from hours of training and a deep tan from fighting and practicing outside. I think I've got a pretty nice cock, too. It's not as long as Fai's but it's sturdy and has a slight curve that reminds me of a katana. Fai seems to like it too. His eyes flick up to me and he grins before attending to the business of my pleasure.

And, oh dear Gods but he's good. He starts off as I did, licking and tasting, getting the feel of me. And of course, that's nice. But it's when he unexpectedly thrusts his mouth onto me that I give a strangled gasp. I can barely think; his mouth's so warm and supple, his tongue teasing me even though I'm deep in his throat. And his throat... it's so tight. So hot. It takes some serious control from me not to start to thrust into it and then after a few minutes of mind-numbingly amazing oral sex that he pulls back and asks, in a voice that could make me cum for him all on it's own:

"Fuck my face, Kuro."

He doesn't need to ask twice. With a groan of desire as he thrusts himself back onto my cock I reach over and clasp his head gently in my hands and start to thrust into his mouth. Shuddering in absolute pleasure I try to control myself and be slow and careful but Fai's insistant movements tells me he wants it hard and fast in his mouth. I do as he wishes and there's no way on earth I could've controlled myself after that. He wants me to come in his mouth, to fill his throat and his stomach with my spunk.

"Ahhhh Gods," I hiss, thrusting deep into his mouth again and again. I have never felt this good before. Suddenly I feel Fai's hands on my ass and a questioning finger againt my entrance. I've never, ever let anyone put any part of their body in my ass. I've thrown people out of bed for even suggesting it. But with Fai, I don't even hesitate. "Yes," I whisper and it becomes a groan as the finger gently pushes it's way inside me. I've never even done this to myself so it's a whole new experience. At first it hurts a little but the overwhelming pleasure from Fai's mouth negates it. Deeper inside now and I'm getting used to the slight pain and then as it reaches in as far as his second knuckle pleasure explodes in me. Taking great strength not to come my breath is ragged and needy and I could almost weep this feels so good. His finger's all the way inside me now and my cock's all the way down his throat and he presses a second finger to my hole. "Yes," I gasp and he's a little less gentle with this one. The pressure makes me loose all control and I cum like I've never cum before. I lose control completly and utterly and feel my cock throbbing as I shoot my load into him. My ass tightens on two fingers inside me, making my orgasm more intense than I had ever dreamed it could be. I gasp, still spurting and my fingers curl in golden hair. Finally spent I wince slightly as his fingers slide out of me. I'm struggling to catch my breath as he, gasping too, crawls up beside me. I grin wearily at him, unable to talk right now and wrap my arms around him tightly. When I finally get my breath back, I try to tell him how good it was.

"Fai, that was-" I search my vocabulary for something that comes even close wo how it felt "-mindblowing. More than that. I've never, ever felt anything in my life that even comes close."

He smiles. "Really?"

"Seriously. I mean, I don't know how many blow-jobs I've had but it's totally in the double figures. And nothing has ever felt like that before. Nothin's even come close."

He smiles again, looking so happy he could please me. "Did you like it when I put my fingers in you? I've never done that before but I wanted to try..."

"Mmmmm," I say, kissing his forehead. "Yep, I loved it. And that was my first time, too."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, nobody's ever put anything inside me before - not even me."

Fai's eyes widen - damn it he's beautiful - and he smiles shyly. "And you let me do it? Why?"

Good question. It wasn't just 'cause I didn't want him to stop sucking me because two people tried the same thing when I had my cock down their throat and I kicked them out on their ass straightaway and finished the job with my hand.

"Because I trust you. And I showed you something new, so I wanted to let you show me. Like what you said. Give and take, right?"

He nods, looking thoughtful, then slides over to me. His cock against my leg is hard again and I feel my own jerk in response. This night is far from over. His kisses me and as it deepens I turn onto my side to face him fully and his cock rubs against mine, suddenly forcing me fully hard again. He kisses me, deep and hard as he can and I respond, our tongues fighting, our hands groping and our legs entwining. I want him so much. I want to feel what it's like inside him. I want to show him how I fuck and finally get rid of every memory of the cunt who used him so badly. A stray thought comes to my mind of how I might one day let him fuck me. Something I have never, ever considered before but I realise I would. I want to share everything I am with Fai, if he'll have me.

We shift position again and I'm on top of him. He arches his back and deliciously desirous eyes look at me from beneath long, dark lashes.

"Fuck me, Kuro. Show me what it's like to be with you."

With me. Not just with someone other than that Ashura bastard, with _me_. I nod and show remarkable restraint in licking my own hand and using it to lubricate myself in the absence of anything better. Fai lifts his legs easily onto my shoulders, showing wonderfully promising flexibility, to give me better access. He has a lovely ass. Nice slender hips and a wonderful curve of buttocks with a small hairless hole that for some bizarre reason I find cute. I wet my finger and explore him a moment, carefully pushing inside him, stretching him a little and feeling how tight he is. He sighs with my finger inside him and I chuckle.

"If you like it that much with just my finger, you sure you can handle my cock?"

"Oh, yes," he smiles. "I'm sure. And I want you, so much." I look down at him, another wave of need crashing over me as I see the desire in his eyes and hear it in his voice. "Fuck me, Kurogane. Please."

Who am I to deny a request like that? Putting myself against his entrance I look at his face, wanting to savour everything about him as I ease myself in. And then, I'm inside him. His eyelids flutter and he moans as I slide inside him. It feels so good I will never be able to describe it. I had thought it couldn't get any better than being in his mouth. How wrong I was. The tightness, the warmth, the maddening feeling of being inside Fai - I thought he was probably using a tiny bit of magic, maybe without knowing it for I swear I could feel what he was feeling and he felt every bit as good as I did.

I was all the way inside him and for a moment I couldn't move. This was beyond my comprehension. I could hardly remember what to do now because this was so much beyond anything else I'd ever experienced and I felt as if my heart was going to explode. I looked into Fai's smiling eyes and before I realised I was about to speak I already had.

"I love you, Fai."

I stared a moment longer, my own words sinking in. Yes, that was right. This feeling, so new to me was love. I wanted to protect Fai, wanted to make sure noone would ever hurt him again. I wanted to be with him as long as I lived. His eyes, stained cobalt with desire widened for a moment and I was afraid he was going to cry again. But instead he gave a smile so beautiful it put all of his previous ones in the shade and laughed, a wonderful sound that had chimes in it and was filled with joy.

"Thank you, Kuro," he whispered and I watched as in his eyes, the last grip Ashura had on him fell away.

I began to thrust into him, gently, marvelling at the way he tightened himself in time with me. I watched as his long fingers gripped his cock, gently wanking as I thrust softly into him. I was amazed by everything - how good this felt, how good he looked, how much I loved him. It wasn't long before desire got the better of me, though and I quickened my pace. As I watched, the hand on his cock moved quicker, too. Being inside Fai felt like heaven - the exact amount of pressure and warmth, the feeling that I could drown in pleasure. We gasped together, moaned each others names, I hissed in pleasure-pain as his nails down my back drew blood. His legs wrapped around my neck, pulling me deeper inside him and I knew I couldn't hold out much longer.

"I want to cum inside you, Fai," I gasped and he nodded, breathing heavily. He quickened his own pace and I thrust into him, deeply and suddenly it was all too much and I was cuming inside of his most secret place. It was utterly earth shattering but I managed to keep my eyes open and watch as my spurting inside him cause him to climax, spurting sticky whiteness onto us both, splashing my stomach and chest and covering his own torso. I've never seen someone cum so much and I decide I want to taste it. Last time he was deep in my throat when he reached orgasm so I couldn't taste him properly, so now I slide gently out of him and lap up some of the spunk pooling on his body. He watches me, fascinated as I taste him. There's the usual manly saltiness and there's something I've never tasted before, a sweetness that's rich and exotic and heady. It reminds me of the best sake and suddenly I realise it's the taste of his magic. It permeates his body and it only makes sense that that includes his sperm. I shudder in delight and pull him to me, ignoring the slight squelching as the cum that still covers our bodies is pressed between us. His arms wrap around me, as desperate as I am. I feel a sudden longing for him to articualte his feeling to me but then I quash it. If he's not ready to talk yet, that's okay. I can feel in his arms, in the way that he holds me - he loves me, too. I can feel it in the strange, magical connection that still holds us. He smiles at me, suddenly sleepy-looking.

"Thank you so much, Kuro," he says.

"You're welcome," is about as much as I can manage before pulling him back into my arms and, feeling completely content, fall asleep.
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Letting Go