Hiro Breaks It Down!

Chapter 2: Red Rover and Pink Kitten

Hiro knew he wouldn’t have to wait long for the call and he was right. Too right in fact as it came the next afternoon. A tearful Shu was barely coherent as he sobbed on about accidentally turning Yuki’s favorite pair of drawers pink and the man brutally detailing Shuichi’s every fault and questioning his inherent humanity, parentage and ability to breathe on his own. Hiro could hear Yuki yelling obscenities in the background as Shu asked him to leave the studio and come pick him up. Yuki was serious this time, he really wanted his short lover gone he said.

“He’s packing my suitcase!” wailed Shuichi as Hiro assured him he’d be right over. He hung up and dialed the inn.

“Secret Inn—We keep your secret in. If they found out about it, it wasn’t from us. Miko speaking.”

“Hi, Hiro Nakano here. I have a standing reservation for a suite?”

“Ah, yes, Nakano-san. Let’s see…we currently have our “Make-Up Sex Suite,” our “Wake Up, We’re Not Here to Sleep Suite,” the “I’ve Been Seduced and I Feel Fine Suite,” our “If R. Kelly Can Do It Why Can’t I? Suite,” our ever popular “Keeping It On the Down-Low Suite,” as well as our “You Didn’t See Me, I Was Never Here and That’s Not My Real Name Suite” available. Which would you like?”

“Uhh, give me the Seduction suite.”

“Very good, Sir. We won’t see you when you get here. Goodbye.”

Hiro hung up blushing. Quickly he dialed the car rental and let them know he was coming in. Finally he sent a one word text message to his partners in crime.

Almost simultaneously four cell phones erupted with one word.

“GO!”

Ryuichi stopped mid recording session and rolled out of the studio at top speed with Kumagoro flapping in the wind behind him.

“Hey, where the hell is he going?” Noriko asked, ready to go after him.

“Let him go, Nori.” Seguchi smiled. “He’s gone on to serve a higher purpose.”

Tatsuha who was running an errand nearby, hopped on his bike and headed over to the NG building. He got there a minute and a half later and waited in the lobby for his team.

K dragged Fujisaki out of the engineering booth a full five seconds before either of their phones erupted with the message. Fujisaki opened his mouth to ask the obvious question, but shut it again when he saw the look on K’s face.

Approximately seven minutes later a lobby elevator opened and out stepped K, Ryu, Hiro and Fujisaki. Somewhere in the distance, the opening strains of “Eye of the Tiger” from “Rocky” began playing as they walked in ultra slow mo lock step toward the front entrance. Tatsuha fell into step beside them as they passed by and the five men and a bunny slow mo’d their way, hair bouncing sexily, sunglasses gleaming and in the case of Ryu, Hiro and Fujisaki, full length trench coats billowing out artfully behind them.

They were men a mission and men not to be fucked with as evidenced by the people in the building getting on with their normal mere mortal lives, scrambling to get out of their way. Bishounen on the move; it’s a beautiful thing. They headed to the building entrance where just beyond, an NG van sat waiting with a driver. The tinted building doors opened and in streamed a brilliant shaft of afternoon sun, fading the men, their mission and everything beyond into a bright, white haze.

“Kumagoro calls shotgun!!!”

*** ***

Five minutes later, the van pulled up outside Yuki’s building and screeched to a halt in the loading zone, just missing a delivery car that had been speeding toward the same space.

“Hey man!” The delivery boy got out obviously pissed. “I gotta deliver these beef bowls in 30 or less or it comes outta my pocket. You can’t park there, that’s for del….” He was quickly silenced by a pair of matched Desert Eagles with solid gold inlays on the handle. He quickly shut up. He’d seen the movie “Face Off” and decided he was better off parking elsewhere.

“Take your time,” he called from the car as he drove away “you obviously have a more urgent delivery than I do.”

The five men exited the van and quickly formed a tight huddle.

“Alright, everyone, you know what to do. Fujisaki, you and Ryuichi start setting up the equipment. Tatsuha help them until you get my signal. K, you’re going up with me to get into place.” The men all nodded.

“Alright, Tatsuha, you do the honors, you’re the monk in training here.”

Tatsuha cleared his throat and the others bowed their heads.

“Gods, we stand before you damn good looking, but humbled men on a mission of mercy and love. Bless us and this mission as you have blessed me with the sight of Ryu in these spanking ass pants! Goddamn! And yea, though we walk through the valley of the shadow of Yuki, we will fear no evil as we will smite all those that oppose us with our righteousness and Hiro’s Axe of Justice! Deliver us from Yuki we beseech thee.”

“Yaay-man!” the group intoned.

“Synchronize Swatches!” Five arms met mid air.*

“Break.”

The five men entered the building as one, but broke off just past the concierge desk, with Fujisaki, Ryuichi and Tatsuha heading to the left toward the storage closet and K and Hiro heading straight toward the two building elevators. They entered one and rode up to Yuki’s floor.

Hiro headed toward Yuki’s door which was approximately half way down the hall, while K continued on straight past the door. Hiro waited a second then rang the bell. Beyond, he could hear muffled voices and what sounded like sobbing. Shuichi answered the door and was he a gawdawful sight! His pink hair was matted and everywhere, his eyes were red and puffy and his clothes were a mismatched mess of wrinkles and various garments turned on the wrong side. Tears were streaming down his face as he lurched forward, launching himself into Hiro’s arms, dragging a Hello Kitty limited special collectors edition wheelman luggage case behind him.

“Oh, Hiro, he means it this time!” Fresh tears flowed anew as the door slammed shut behind them, just missing the last wheel of Shuichi’s bag.

“I told him I was sorry, that I didn’t mean it and that I’d buy him a new pair of underwear, but he kept rambling on about them being his lucky drawers and he couldn’t finish his novel without his lucky drawers and I was just a useless hsfdldsf….” The rest of the sentence drowned itself out in a wail. The self confident stage sexpot most fans knew Shuichi as was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Hiro held a quivering mass of despair in his arms…and the clock was ticking.

“It’s ok, Shu. I’m here now. Let’s go.” He half carried, half dragged Shuichi and the Hello Kitty limited special collectors edition wheelman luggage case to the elevators, where the doors of the elevator he’d just left opened immediately. They got in, Hiro pressed the button for the lobby and silently started to pray.

K, a short distance away took out his radio. “Red Rover and Pink Kitten are on the move. Stand by. Solid Snake* out.” He waited. It wasn’t over yet. Not by a long shot.

In the elevator, Shuichi continued to cry, slumped over on Hiro’s side. He didn’t notice Hiro’s trench coat. In fact, he didn’t notice how fine his genius guitarist friend looked at all--the touch of glitter around Hiro’s eyes or the light lipgloss on his lips. He didn’t notice the Secret Service earpiece in his friend’s ear. He also didn’t notice Hiro’s blush pink lips moving fervently in prayer.

Hiro kept an eye on their descent progress. They had eight more floors to go. Seven. Six. Five. They were going to make it. They were in the home stretch. Suddenly, the elevator came to a halt on five and the doors opened. Four people waited to get on, two of them with luggage.

Shit! Thought Hiro. He moved himself and Shu aside to make room.

“We have a problem.” Fujisaki’s voice sounded over the earpiece.

“What?” Hiro’s heart thumped.

“The lobby is filling up with people. Some of them are news reporters. They have cameras with them. They seem to be waiting for something.”

Fuck! “Continue as planned,” he said after a second. The elevator doors closed and one of the new people turned to him as if Hiro had been talking to him. Hiro shook his head and went back to watching the floors.

The elevator stopped again on the fourth floor.

Fucking shit! thought Hiro.

Two more people with luggage began trying to squeeze on.

Where the fuck are all these people going? The elevator doors closed, then opened again. Something was caught in the tracks.

Fuck, fuck and more fuck!

*** ***

“We have another problem.” K’s voice crackled through the wire. “The Dog is about to fly. Repeat, the Dog is about to fly. Interceptor, release the hounds!” K could hear cursing and running and rummaging and the sound of keys jingling just beyond the door. Yuki was definitely preparing to leave in a big hurry.

Down in the lobby, Tatsuha extricated himself from equipment wires and worked his way through the throng of excited people that seemed to be watching the team with great interest. Something was going on. He pulled Ryu who was still incognito in baseball cap, trench and sunglasses away with him. After pressing the button to return it to the lobby, they stationed themselves in front of the second elevator and began warning people away saying that it was out of order. When that stopped working and people tried to bogart their way past the two, Tatsuha made a command decision and kissed Ryu full on the mouth. The two locked lips in an impassioned embrace, moaning and panting (not an act), stunning and embarrassing people away ten steps at a time!

*** ***

Back in the first elevator, the doors finally closed and Hiro prayed with all his might that there would be no further delay. Fortunately, there wasn’t and a few seconds later the elevator opened to the lobby. It was slow moving though as he and a still sobbing Shuichi stood at the back of the elevator waiting for all the people and luggage to move out of the way. Finally free, Hiro dragged Shu and his bag forward. He was treated to the sight of Tatsuha and Ryu still getting down in front of the other elevator.

“Hey, hey, hey!!” Hiro yelled.

“We had to do something to make people leave this one alone, so I made the call.” Tatsuha grinned. “It worked didn’t it?” The elevator opened behind him and he got on and pressed the button for Yuki’s floor. He watched Ryu walk away.

“Hey Ryu,” he called. Ryu turned as the doors started closing.

“You’re working them pants, Dawg!” The doors closed on Ryu’s sweet smile. Tatsuha made a vow to make an extra offering at the temple this week. The gods were being good to him and he saw nothing wrong with offering up a little positive reinforcement.

As the Interceptor rode up to Yuki’s floor, Hiro leaned back into HIS elevator and pushed all the buttons. Not a moment too soon.

“Correction. The Dog has left the kennel, repeat, the Dog has left the kennel!” K observed Yuki’s door wrench open and the great beast himself fly out of it, letting it slam shut behind him. Tunnel vision carried him sharply left to the elevator and he punched the down button six or seven times. Hopping on one foot, he put his other shoe on.

“Fuck! They’d better still be down there.” He muttered.

*** ***

They were indeed still down there. Crossing the lobby proved to be an exercise in futility. The lobby was full of people with various equipment, lights, cameras and onlookers, many of whom seemed to be from the teen scream set. The stream of traffic and luggage from the elevators was at a virtual standstill as incomers and outgoers clashed trying to find a quick route to get where they were going. Hiro looked for Ryu and Fujisaki, but couldn’t see either over the multitude of heads in the way. What the fuck was going on?

“Sour Puss, status?” Hiro asked.

“I told you not to call me that!” Fujisaki screamed. Even at that, Hiro had problems hearing him in the earpiece over the din of bodies in the lobby.

“We’re going as fast as we can. I think the reporters and cameras are waiting for us. They haven’t approached us yet, but they haven’t moved ten feet from us since we started setting up.”

“Proceed. Maybe they heard that a video was shooting here.” Hiro thought of the pretense they’d used to get permission to store the equipment in the lobby closet.

“Maybe.” Fujisaki trailed off. He didn’t sound convinced.

“Continue as planned. If I can get Shu out of here, it won’t matter.”

Hiro began trying to push his way through the crowd.

*** ***

“What the fuck is taking the elevator so long?” Yuki was getting pissy. Correction--make that pissier—he was already pissy. He jabbed the down button another six or seven times. It shouldn’t be taking this long and the longer it took, the further away Shuichi got from him.

He shouldn’t have yelled at him. He shouldn’t have called him names. He definitely shouldn’t have threatened to withold sex from him for being stupid. Sometimes, though, the kid could be a real pain in the ass. He didn’t understand the pains and processes authors went through.

We’re a delicate lot, Yuki thought to himself. We need things just so. I had to go through many hours sitting on my ass to make those drawers lucky. I wore them when I finished “Cool.” I wore them when I finished “Can I Get to Heaven In Your Eyes Or Must I Ride the Bus?” Hell I even wore them to the Publishers Awards Banquet when I met that hot little brunette…he shook his head. It was stupid. He just had to make Shuichi realize his mistake and move on. And after he was done with his latest novel, “If I Don’t Love You, No One Will,” he’d make it up to the kid. Take him to dinner or something.

It was the “or something” that Yuki wanted to do most. Even now, steaming mad at the boy, he couldn’t help but recall Shu’s smooth as silk skin, the scent and taste of strawberries and the look of raw arousal he saw in his violet eyes whenever Yuki kissed him. No, he had to get his boy back. He felt a familiar stirring in his loins. Back right now!

The elevator still hadn’t arrived.

“Aw fuck it, I’ll take the stairs.” Yuki straightened up suddenly. The hairs on the back of his neck were standing at attention. He whipped his head around and looked for the source of his unease. An empty hallway stared back at him. For a second there, it had felt very much like someone was watching him.

The elevator chime forced his attention back in front of him.

“About fucking time!” He started forward as the doors opened only to see his brother, Tatsuha, staring back out at him.

“Bro!” he said. “Am I glad to see you!”

*** ***

Ryu and Fujisaki were having a hard time. With just the two of them, they had to carry the equipment from the storage closet and set it up. Normally this wouldn’t have been too much of a problem, but today with the sense of urgency pressing down on them and then the sudden, unexpected mob of people, the piece of cake that had been the dry run now seemed like a far fetched crock of shit. Add to that that any minute now, someone was bound to recognize Ryuichi. It left Sour Puss, aka, Fujisaki wondering what the hell he’d gotten himself into. He continued to work.

*** ***

Hiro dragged Shuichi at a snail’s pace toward the lobby entrance. He could see it now and his hopes were beginning to pick up. Shu, oblivious to the commotion going on around him, continued to sniffle and moan, head down, eyes closed, simply following where Hiro led. Hiro weaved himself and Shu in and around bodies like a maniac driver, each step a labor, but also bringing them closer to their destination. Suddenly a small path opened up. He pulled the two of them into it and followed it toward the door. They were going to make it!!!

“OHMIGOD, is that RYUICHI SAKUMA????” A high pitched scream sounded and floated over the noise. Now THAT everyone heard. The crowd turned at once to look at the brunette boy in sunglasses and a trench coat with what looked to be white lace pants peeking out from beneath the edges setting up what looked like speakers near the center of the lobby.

It took all of three seconds for all hell to break loose. The crowd surged forward, closing the path leading to the door and causing Hiro, Shuichi and his Hello Kitty limited special collectors edition wheelman luggage case to swim upstream against the tide in a battle they were rapidly losing. Hiro could feel himself and Shu getting swept backward with the current.

“Oh my fucking god!” Hiro almost started to cry.

*** ***

“Bro, just the person I wanted to see. You going to the lobby?” Yuki ignored his sibling and reached for the floor button.

“I got it.” The Interceptor, aka, Tatsuha, pressed it and ever so discreetly every other button between their floor and the lobby. He then leaned against the panel to cover his actions and block the lit numbers from Yuki.

“So, what’s going on?”

“What’re you doing here, Tatsuha, I don’t have time for this right now.”

“I came to see you, Bro. We see each other so little these days.”

“You saw me yesterday.”

“Oh yeah.” Strike one. “Well, Ryu did the cutest thing today and I couldn’t help but come by and tell you all about it. He has the cutest ass! Particularly when he wears these lace pants he has. Awmigod, Yuki, you have to see him. It’s enough to make a grown man cry.”

The elevator stopped on the next floor and opened to an empty hallway. Yuki frowned and moved to push the elevator close button, but Tatsuha was blocking it. Yuki looked at his younger brother.

“They’re all tight and stretchy at the same time, so you know what that means, they mold right to everything and show it all just like God intended!”

The doors closed and the elevator climbed down to the next floor, where it stopped again. And again, doors opened to an empty hallway.

Yuki’s brow arched an inch. Strike two.

“Then there’s these lace cut outs on the sides that show peek after heavenly peek of creamy smooth skin. He has skin like a newborn you know. Just naturally. How wrong is that? Smooth and soft and oh so lickable. My gawd, I could go on for days telling you what I’ve licked off that skin.” Tatsuha was babbling.

The elevator stopped yet again.

“Gracious lord, is it hot in here or just me?”

The doors opened to another empty hallway.

Yuki grabbed his brother by the shirt collar and jerked him away from the button panel revealing row after row of lit lights. Strike three!

“What the fuck???” He jerked the Interceptor to him and then noticed a small wire dangling from his ear. Strike four?

“Have mercy on me Eiri! It was the pants, the pants I tell you. I didn’t want to, but the pants made me—oh God, I’m weak, I’m weak!!!!” Tatsuha collapsed against his brother (not acting.)

“You miserable shit, what have you done???” Yuki threw his brother aside, stuck his foot in the closing doors and glared daggers at his kin before heading off down the stairwell.

Inside the elevator, Tatsuha slumped against the back wall.

“Red alert, shields up!” he breathed into his radio as the elevator went down. “The Dog is lose and making a beeline for the staging area. He smells a rat and is barking mad. Exercise extreme caution, I repeat, extreme caution. Interceptor out.”

Fucking pants! Even as he stared out at another empty hallway, with his brother ready to commit fratricide, the thought of his Ryu in those lace pants made it all worthwhile.

“At least I’ll die happy.”

*** ***

K made it out of the stairwell only to be greeted by a huge throng of people. He frowned and looked for Hiro and Shuichi. Not seeing them, he looked for Fujisaki and Ryuichi. He didn’t see them either. He got on the radio.

“Team, status report?”

“We’ve been outed!” came Sour Puss’s frantic reply. “We’re almost done, but Ryu’s been spotted!”

K’s eyes followed the surge of the crowd and found the two desperately trying to protect the equipment and each other from the ensuing mob. He then spotted the top of Hiro’s red head bent down and bracing, struggling against the flow toward the door, which they were only a few feet from. He couldn’t see Shuichi at all but imagined that’s what Hiro appeared to be dragging behind him.

Time to exercise a little crowd control. K smiled at the prospect. This was turning out to be a good goddamned day after all!

**** ***

This had turned out to be a bad goddamned day! The delivery guy was pissed! First he’d been called in to work on his day off. Then his boss had made him run like a goddamn hamster all over town as it turned out he was the only delivery guy to report to work that day. He’d had no break, no lunch and not even time to take a piss. Then he gets saddled with this fucking run! He almost got run over and then shot by some pistol packing maniac causing him to park not in the delivery lane, which should have been his god given right, but all the way in the resident lot which might as well have been a mile away cuz at the end of it all, he still hadn’t found a space. With his time quickly running out, he doubled parked and then hiked back up to the building, loaded down with beef bowls and trying to avoid the zoo the parking lot had become. News van after news van, car after screaming teenager filled car piled into the lot with abandon. Parking here, there and everywhere, he was definitely taking his life into his hands trying to deliver six fucking beef bowls, on top of which he was going to have to pay for if he didn’t hurry the hell up.

Weaving his way through the crowd on the outside was bad enough, but inside the building was enough to make a saint curse. He was just about to give up and find another job when he spotted the tall blonde gun toting psycho that had accosted him just a few minutes earlier. He’d come from a side door and was moving toward the middle of the crowd. That door looked like the stairwell. If he could just slip in there, he might be able to make it after all. With renewed determination, he lifted his bags in front of him and rammed his way toward the door.

*** ***

We’re going to make it, thought Hiro. We’re actually going to make it! He could almost see the handle to the door. Here we come running, “I Was Seduced and I Feel Fine Suite!” Behind him Shuichi shuffled along. He was tempted to pick him up and carry him the rest of the way. He actually stooped to do so when he heard it. The sound of which made his blood run cold. The one sound he didn’t ever want to hear again.

Shit.

*** ***

Yuki had been taking the stairs five at a time. When he hit a landing, he jumped the turn and started over again. What the fuck was going on? Who else was in on this little game they had going? What’d this have to do with Shuichi? What the fuck was going on? Question after question rattled in his head. As he rapidly grew nearer to the ground floor, the noise of crowded excitement grew and filtered through the haze of Yuki’s anger.

What the fuck is going on????

*** ***

What the fuck is going on, wondered the delivery guy. He tripped over yet another camera wire on his way to the stairwell door. Something huge, that’s for sure. Well, whatever it is, it’s not as big as me paying for these fucking beef bowls out of my minimum wage, that’s for damn sure.

No matter, just a few steps more. Just a few steps more. Damn! I made it! I still have four minutes to go. I’m gonna make it, I’m gonna make it, I’m—OOOO!”


The stairwell door slammed open, clocking the delivery guy right in the face. He slid down the wall behind the metal door and clutched his nose, pinned where no one could see him and no one could hear him.

“I quid! I QUID!!!!” He gushed around the bloody trail leaking from his nose. “I so fugging QUID!!!!” he screamed before he passed out from the pain.

Bodies lurched to give the wildly swinging door room and as people scrambled out of its way, a clear path directly in front of Yuki opened. He could see Hiro and Shuichi struggling to get to the door that was just in front of them. Ignoring the massing throng around them, Yuki yelled at the top of his lungs—

“SHUICIHI!!!!”

Three seconds passed before someone else started screaming Shuichi’s name and chanting Bad Luck, Bad Luck, Bad Luck, Bad Luck.

K had reached Ryu and Fujisaki and was fending off the mob trying to give Hiro the time he needed to make it out the door, but it looked like it was too late. He spotted Yuki by the stairwell door and saw Hiro’s head slump down when he heard Shuichi’s name being yelled.

“SHUICHI!!!” Shuichi looked up for the first time since leaving Yuki’s flat and swiveled his head around.

“YUKI!!!!”

Hiro, still facing the door, felt Shuichi’s hand loosen in his sweaty grip. They were done. It was over. Any minute now, Shu would go running back to Yuki and nothing would change. He closed his eyes. He could leave now and no one would ever be the wiser. The door was so close. He could just let Shu go now and walk out. It would be so easy.

The radio crackled in his ear. “We’re set up. Plan B or abort mission?” It was Sour Puss.

He’d been a fool to think he could change anything. He loved Shu so much, but it was obvious that he didn’t stand a chance against Yuki.

“Plan B or abort mission???”

This whole thing was a fiasco and he’d dragged his friends in with him. Obviously the gods didn’t think he and Shu belonged together. Absolutely nothing had gone right today.

“SHUICHI!!!”

The elevator delays.

“Is Bad Luck here?”

The unexpected crowd.

“YUUUUKIII!!!”


Problems with set up.

“Where’s Ryuichi Sakuma??? Is Nittle Grasper here too, OHMIGOD!!!”

“Plan B or abort mission??? RED ROVER?????”

It was no use. He and Shuichi weren’t meant to be. He could see that now.

“SHUICHI, COME HERE!!! LET’S GO BACK UPSTAIRS!!! WE’LL WORK IT OUT!!!”

Hiro’s eyes snapped open. They were filled with fire. We’ll work it out alright. The one phrase in all the world that could have galvanized Hiro back into action and Yuki had just screamed it at the top of his lungs.

He brought out his radio and tightened his grip on Shuichi who threw him a questioning look.

“Plan B!”

K smiled. He whipped out the 9’s and fired off a short succession of double barreled shots in the air.

Everyone screamed and hit the deck post haste, leaving only six people standing:

Hiro.

Shuichi.

Yuki.

Ryuichi.

Fujisaki.

K.

Without letting Shuichi go, Hiro turned the two of them to face Yuki, who was still standing by the stairwell door. He stank eyed Yuki from across the room.

“Let’s break it down, y’all!”

End Chapter 2.

Author’s Note:

* Synchronize Swatches is a reference to 80’s tv show, “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose.” Apparently I’m the only person in the universe that loved that show and is wondering where the hell the DVD is.

*Solid Snake is a reference to the video game Metal Gear Solid, not anything…lascivious like it sounds.

BTW—the use of words like y’all and other slang sprinkled throughout the story is because I’m a country girl. I know these guys are in Japan, but I can’t help it, y’all! Ok?