At the end of the day

Hiro thought it was amazing how much Shuichi was able to eat since he was such a thin young man who probably would have no problem to really look like a girl if he wanted to.
„Don’t look at me like that, Hiro, it’s just that I’m hungry and I did not eat anything except white bread…“
„You are always hungry, why didn’t you eat something else?“
“I prefer eating my breakfast without somebody who’s smoking in front of me…“
„Since when?“ Hiro asked a little surprised and watched his friend while chewing the rest of his pizza.
„Since…always!“ Shuichi finished his meal and looked up into his best friends’ eyes.
„So what about your brilliant idea for a new song?“
Hiro grinned, he liked the way Shuichi was looking at him, very cute and innocent, although he knew that he wasn’t. Shuichi took a step back from his friend after he felt Hiros hands getting closed on his wrists and tried to pull him near.
„Wha-what?“ he stuttered and became nervous when Hiros’ face came nearer to his. He could feel the hot breath against his skin and shuddered. What had Hiro on his mind?
“My dear little Shu-chan” he whispered into his friends’ ear “that was all a lie to get your pretty ass right over here to me.”
His fingers circled slowly around the dry lips of the vocalist and right after that he covered the sweet lips with his own.

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„Shouldn’t you stay at home and play with the little child you have?“ Yuki greeted his brother-in-law with clenched teeth but finally let him in. Tohma gave him a suspicious look while Eiri headed back to his laptop to finish his work.
“Where’s Shindou?” Tohma finally asked and could not make out the loud nasty boy in the room.
“Not here!”
“That was a short reply, you sound angry. Has it something to do with your silly boy not around?”
Yuki did not look up to meet the eyes of Tohma, starred on the screen without even knowing what to write down. His novel was still shown on the screen of his laptop and he could just figure out he wrote 3 simple paragraphs. That was his work in one hour! He stroked back his hair and decided to answer the statement Tohma had made.
“That has nothing to do with this annoying brat! I’m lucky not to have him around here. I have to finish my novel soon but if I continue on like this it will be a disaster!”
”Oh I see…a writers’ block, he?”
Tohma rested carefully his hands on Eiris shoulders, trying to make him feel better.
“If you like you can stay with Mika and me. You could relax a bit so you’re not stressed out like this… with Shuichi around. Any maybe then you decide to become friendlier to me…”
Yuki looked up to meet Tohmas eyes and sighed.
“I think I won’t be able to relax when I’m with you and my sister. Not even when your baby is around and cries. Please, forget this. It’s really friendly to offer me your hospitality, but I prefer to say no. By the way, the brat is not always here to get on my nerves, he’s often out to meet his friend, you know…”
He starred back on the screen.
“So please don’t get me wrong, but I have to go on with work. I have to concentrate on what I have to do…”
Tohma sighed.
“I’m gonna tell Mika many greetings from you. She’ll be happy about this…”
“Do this. And now go home, care for your child, not for me. I’m an adult now, Tohma, so you can leave me without being worried about me.”

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Shuichi still kept his eyes closed and after a few more seconds, Hiro broke the kiss and stepped back from his friend.
„You are strange sometimes…“ he whispered while Shuichis eyes snapped open again.
„Why me? It was you who kissed me!“
„But you did not mind me to do this, did you? Shu-chan, that was fun, I tried to tease you, but I did not think you would go with it.”
Shuichi blushed and turned his head so that Hiro could not see him blushing. Hiro felt bad after that, it had not been a good idea.
“Is there something you want to tell me? Everything alright with Yuki and you?”
He thought about what he said, it sounded senseless as in Shuichis’ relationship with the blond novelist, things were never completely okay.

He automatically hugged his thin friend and pulled him near. That was all Shuichi needed now, he knew that. He always needed someone to tell him everything would change into something better. The last few weeks it had always went the same way, Shuichi seemed to be depressed all the time and he did everything to make his little Shu-chan feeling better. Shuichi was searching for warmth and love, and feelings, deep true feelings seemed to be the last things Yuki Eiri could offer him. And after all finally Shuichi seemed to understand this.
A loud sigh left Shuichis mouth and he tried to push Hiro a bit away from him to look him directly into his eyes.
“Thank you so much, you always know, what I need.” He tried to smile, tried to forget the upcoming tears. He was real good the last times in that.
“It would be perfect if Yuki could be so sensitive with me like you. I always thought he will change after a while we spent together, but nothing has changed. He is still the same. I’m still the annoying brat for him. There are only a few tender moments with him and they always pass by so fast. I wish he could change for me…”
“To be honest…” Hiro began to give his thoughts a chance to be created in words “I really don’t know what to say anymore, Shuichi.”
Shuichis stretched himself again and shook his head.
“Forget about it. Now what’s your idea for a song?”

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Yuki was wondering himself when a flood of words escaped his fingers and typed them down to go on further with his novel. Satisfied, he leaned back in his chair, watching the two chapters he created. Now he could – without regretting it – make a short break. He stood up and made his way to the kitchen. His body was thankful for the movement as he sat down for now about a few hours. He could not choose between a bear and a coke, finally chose the alcoholic drink. It was a gift to him.
He knew Shuichi hated the smell and taste of beer, but he did not care about this now. He did was he wanted most of the time, so why now care about what the brat liked?
Slowly he let the cool beer running down his throat and sighed satisfied after he finished the first refreshment.
His look was caught by the little picture his laptop still was hiding. It showed himself and the little brat on their first date. He grinned and sat back down on his chair.

He turned his head. It was so silent in his flat now while the brat was not in. It was too silent. The brat was a part of his life, all day, all night, well almost of the time, he was around and when he was gone everything was boring. It seemed uncomfortable without him. The warmth and love the singer gave was gone. Eiri shuddered.
He took a quick watch on the clock and asked himself where the hell Shuichi stayed the whole time.
“Well done, Shuichi! You’ve got your day off and stay at your dumb friends’ avoiding me…” he spoke to himself while he was on his way to the living-room to switch on the TV.
He sat down on the couch, taking a nip on his beer again und changed from one channel to another. Boring. He emptied the bottle and decided he needed another one to be satisfied.

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Shuichi fumbled with the keys and finally found the right one to open the door. He went inside and headed towards the living-room, cause he figured out Yuki had switched on the TV.
“Yuki, I’m home!” he yelled.
His lover sat bored on the couch, drinking a bear and watching TV. And Shuichi could guess that it was not his first beer on that evening. He sighed after Yuki did not greet him back and made his way to the kitchen, taking a coke from the refrigerator and sat next to his lover, when he was back in the living-room.
Yuki still did not move or say anything so Shuichi made the first step towards him. He rested his head on the novelists’ chest, recognized the bumping of his heart.
“What are you watching?” he asked softly, ignoring the smell of bear that he hated. He was sure he never could change his love for alcohol.
“Documentation” was the quick but heartless answer, so Shuichi closed his eyes.
Yuki gazed down on his little lover who looked so tired and happy. His anger about being alone for hours was forgotten but now he had to play the heartless type again. Carefully he pulled Shuichi away from him and said
“I’m going to make dinner for us.” He stepped quickly into the kitchen, hearing Shuichi say
“You don’t have to make dinner for me; I just ate something at Hiros’!”

Yuki felt jealous but hold himself back from screaming at his little lover why he had preferred it to eat something with his so called best friend and not with him. Did he try to avoid him? But like always when he felt the upcoming jealously, he bit his lip and said nothing and answered in his well known cold way.
“So…you prefer to spend your time with the silly friend of yours. Why don’t you leave me the fuck alone and move in with lovely Hiro?”
Shuichis stood up and moved into the kitchen. He did not want to fight with Yuki now, but he seemed angry.
“If you want me to go I will do so! Don’t put the blame on Hiro!” was his quick, but harsh answer and short after he said that he regretted it.
Yuki turned around, his eyes wild and angry.
“I’m fed up with you, brat! You stress me out, I can’t think clear while you’re around. Go and tell Hiro, go with him and be happy!”
He made a face and tried to calm down.
“Why are you so angry with me?” Shuichi really was surprised. “I did nothing except spending my time with Hiro today…” He made a few steps until he reached his lover, moving his hands over the novelists’ stomach.
“Are you jealous?” he smiled. But Yuki just pushed away his hands.
“I’m going to make dinner.”

Inside Yuki was angry like hell; he hated Shuichi just hanging around with the guitarist. He spend most of the time with Hiroshi, so why did he prefer to be with him on his day off?
Shuichi did not seem to care about it, also. That made him even angrier.
“Ouch!” he whispered after cutting his finger with one of the knives, giving Shuichi an angry look when the younger tried to help him.
He prepared dinner while Shuichi watched him silent. He sat on his chair at the kitchen-table and said nothing, just noticed every move his beautiful lover made.
“When you’re sitting around like an idiot you could also help me!” Eiri murmured and Shuichi did so. Still silent, Shuichi decided to prepare the mushrooms and there and then he took a look of Yuki who was concentrated on his cooking.

He did not look relaxed and Shuichi wondered why. The last few weeks it seemed Yuki had a problem he did not wanted to tell him. Like always. But his strange behavior always appeared when he had spent his time with Hiro or at work. He shook his head, this was not possible. He could not imagine Yuki getting mad just because he was not around him.
He always had wished for seeing his lover jealous but not it seemed impossible Yuki really felt that way. He did not wish for things like that anymore. It still was too impossible…

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Eiri did not know why, but his appetite had left him after his little fight with Shuichi. The dumb brat…But he ate dinner, cause Shuichi also did so, and he hated it to threw away food.
It was still silent between them, neither of them said a word and if Shuichi tried to chat he ignored it and stayed silent. It was better not to think of their fight now. He did not plan to tell Shuichi he was jealous because of Hiroshi.
That would be too embarrassing, not he, the cold and cool novelist Yuki Eiri. Not even for Shuichi. And Shuichi could not want him to show his feelings after 4 years; he must have known how he felt. So why always tell?
It was the best not to let things stay as they were.

The vocalist sat back on the couch, curled into a ball while his lover sat down on the couch, taking most of the seat for himself.
He did not want to think of his novel now; his ideas were saved and sleeping inside of his laptop. And he still was to upset to think about such easy things like love and happiness. He had to get more ideas the next day while the brat was at work.

Shuichis eyes for focused on the TV-screen, but he did not notice the things happen in the funny pictures the TV showed. His mind was somewhere else.
Why had Yuki always be so mean to him? What had he done wrong? He sighed and curled into the blanket to get warm. He swallowed a few times, did not want to give in the tears.
Suddenly a strong arm pulled him closer to the warmth of the body next to him.
Yuki looked down on him, looking into the bright eyes of his younger lover.
“Don’t start to cry!” he told him in a harsh voice. “I got upset because of you too many times today!” His voice calmed down.
“I would welcome it if you decide to spend your free-time also with me, I’m your lover.”
They looked each other into the eyes. Shuichi felt the loneliness leaving the happiness. Yuki still wanted him. But Yuki always knew how to destroy a tender moment.
“Well…you know what I mean brat, don’t you?” He starred back onto the TV.

- What do I hope for? It’s always the same and it always will be -
Shuichi felt hurt, getting his body closer to the other one.
“I know these words don’t make sense for you and they won’t touch you. Although I want to tell you” he looked back up into the eyes of his lover “that I love you.”
He stood up and walked straight into the bedroom. He needed sleep, he needed a rest from the hurts of the day.
He did not want to cry, he hated it to cry because of Yuki Eiri, but he was not the master of his tears and so they fell down his face into the pillow.
He was not a child anymore but still not able to stop crying like a little kid. And Yuki did not show up to say Sorry.

But…he did not wish things to happen anymore, which were surely impossible.

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Oh yes, I know there are a lot of mistakes in it. Sorry, but hope you like it and please review ^^